O Amor no Divã (2016) - full transcript

Seven... I think it's almost seven years
of living together.

Plus five dating.
Backwards and forwards.

The good thing about getting old

is that you never regret what you've done,

because you never remember
what you've done.

Well, I remember very well.

Very.

She's wonderful.

She's sweet, fun, a companion.

And will give me my best present.

Honestly, I never thought
of breaking up with her.



She's the love of my life,
we've built everything together.

Now, more than ever,
I can say that it's forever.

Funny.

I'm very, very calm.

A bit of nausea, eh?
It's normal.

Can I get a coffee?
I didn't sleep at all last night.

Ah, no way, no.

Just thinking about coffee
makes me sick.

A bit of consideration,
for the love of God.

What does that cost?

If we broke up?

I think I would miss how calm he is,

how lighthearted, the certainty with
which he tells me that it'll be all right.

I would miss the company,
the affection...



and the...

Right... You don't say...

Okay. It's fine...

It's fine. Hug.

Bye.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Let's...

eat in the lounge, Malka?
I need to see the news.

My student skipped the last class,

so I decided to make
a little something different for us.

I used some delicacies...

to make this pasta.

Oregano?

I added some.

I added it to give
a different touch.

Miguel, I don't like oregano.

No?

How was the trip?

We'll speak later, okay?
Just let me see this.

No, no, no, Miguel, stop, stop.

No, I've worked all day, my love,
I'm exhausted.

Okay, the show was great,
congratulations.

- Just a quickie.
- No. Tomorrow.

I promise. Tomorrow.
I have lots to do.

No. Look!
My things.

- Ah...
- "Tomorrow, tomorrow".

That's all you can say,
"tomorrow".

You realize we didn't exchange
a single word during dinner?

And between news broadcasts,
you...

switched to news
on another channel.

The news are the same.

Or do you think in a split second,
there'll be a unique occurrence

that only a reporter
in the country can discover?

Ah...

You spent
almost a week away, José.

Didn't you miss me even a little?

Aren't you the slightest bit interested
in how my day was, how I am?

Do you think such a relationship
is healthy?

I know you've been working
yourself to death...

José!

Ah!

Why do you have
to scare people like that?

Scare?
I just entered my lounge.

Exactly.

Did something happen?

No, nothing. I just arranged
to speak with the boys on Skype.

Look!

That must be them.

- Oh, my babies!
- Hey!

Hey, guys?

- Speak, Baryshnikov.
- Speak, rabbi.

- Boys!
- Can I speak?

Speak, Dad.

Very well,
I called you to let you know

that I was lucky enough
to have two sons

and sad that neither of them
wants to continue with my business.

I've decided to retire.

What was that?

I've had an offer
to sell the textile plant

and I thought this was the moment
to change focus.

- Nice, Daddy.
- If you're happy...

But the office?
Me? How...

We'll speak later, later.

That's it, boys, go back to doing

whatever highly important thing
you're doing there.

Bye, Dad. Bye, Mum.

- Thanks, Mr. José.
- Wait.

Done.

I think I need a drink.

- At this time?
- Now.

I'll see if...
I have whiskey in my room.

Nine...
One more, Dani, let's go. Ten!

Nice, girl! That's it!

- No, enough. No more.
- Enough?

No, there's another series,
let's go.

Come on, come, come,
it's ending. Go.

I want to see.

Just a moment, Dani.
Come on, go. Don't stop. Two...

Where are you?

Where am I?
In the gym, Roberta!

Has something happened?

What happened is you're lying.

I saw that your student
canceled the class today.

Saw where?

- On WhatsApp.
- What?

- You've touched my phone?
- That doesn't matter now, right, Miguel?

What matters is I saw
that she's not there.

Roberta, that message
is from last week!

How can you be so childish?

- I have to hang up.
- If you hang up, Miguel...

I have to hang up!

Dani, are you leaving?
Tomorrow without fail!

Hey.

Hey.

- Can you help me with something?
- I... I can.

- Which machine?
- That one.

Are you okay?

Dr. Hamilton... Yes, yes.
Sorry.

It must be 100% cold.

- What?
- Your coffee.

Ah...

Take this one, I just got it.

Thank you.

To my new phase!

To ours, José.
To our new phase.

Of course. To our new phase.

But now, am I going
to have to leave this office?

Of course not, the structure
will be the same for some time.

Fabiana will continue, as normal.

I'll miss her a lot.

Her work.

But tomorrow I'm signing
my writ of emancipation.

Tomorrow? Saturday?

Saturday, but it's the only day
that we could arrange, Malka.

Life is hard. Do you think my day to day
is as calm as yours?

So calm, my day to day, so calm.

You're right.

But from tomorrow
mine will be too.

What are you going to do now, José?

I don't have a clue.

Isn't it great?

So, you're a marriage counselor?

No, I'm a secretary,
but Malka is a great therapist.

- Cool.
- Why?

Is your marriage in crisis?

No.

It's good.

Good.

I'll give you my card,
call me if you need anything.

At any time.

For whatever you need.

Really?

Wonderful.

We need to talk.
Sit a little, Roberta.

- Now? Let me change first.
- We need to talk.

We never can,
we never have time, but we must.

Life is busy. Do you think it's easy
to handle all this here?

I don't work?
You think it's not busy for me?

But your job is...

Roberta!

Get back here!

My job is what?
Speak!

Nothing, leave it, Miguel.

Do you see how ridiculous you are?

Because you understand numbers
you think you're better than others.

Let me tell you something:
Nobody cares about statistics.

Nobody you know, eh, Miguel?

Statistics make the world go round.

Ah, of course, clearly.

If it weren't for you
and your nerdy friends...

Boom! The world would end.

And if it weren't for you
and your lovely students,

the world's beauty standards
would be 50% more interesting.

I don't know what's worse,
your arrogance or your jealousy.

- Jealousy of what?
- Of me. Of my job.

Roberta...

I don't want to be married
to a woman like that.

Then find another.

The muscular one, for example.

There's no point speaking to you.

You know what, Miguel?
I'm tired, you know?

What's new, huh?

I'm being serious.

I don't think
there's anything left for us.

Wanna break up?

What do you propose?

Time.

We need more time for us, Roberta.

Just us.

Impossible.

Impossible? Why?

Let's travel, let's be together,
just us two.

We'll have a holiday now,
we'll sort it and go.

Okay.

Promise?

I promise.

Do you love me?

And do you love me?

- A lot.
- Really?

How many percent?

José.

- Do you think I look all right?
- You look great.

Shall we have coffee?
I need to go out.

- Can I?
- No, Roberta!

- Please!
- Please? Today is Saturday!

For the love of God.
Hang up. Just hang up.

Roberta!

Hey, Dr. Hamilton.

- Damn!
- I can speak, yes.

I know, his thesis is about copulas
for generalized distributions

of extreme
multidimensional values, right?

I saw it. Very interesting.

- Very interesting, wow.
- I've been on some boards before.

Wow, but an invitation from you
is an honor.

Monday after the holiday?

- No, it's a bit short notice.
- No, no! You're going to be away.

No, I'm not planning anything.

- Not planning anything?
- I'm totally free.

I can, I can.

If it's important,
we can always find a way.

FIRST SESSION

- Morning. How are you?
- Hey.

This is my wife, Roberta.

We have a meeting arranged
with Dr. Malka.

Of course.

- Just a moment.
- Thanks.

You can go in.

Malka is coming.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Do you know each other,
you and the secretary?

No. Of course not.

Statistically,
if she had done this whole course,

she wouldn't have time
to meet anyone.

Look here. Malka Stein, PhD.

For what she covers, it could be PhE.

PhZ.

Funny, huh?

- Whoa!
- Stop, Miguel!

I didn't mean to!

- Good afternoon.
- Afternoon.

- How are you?
- Well, thank you, and you?

- Everything all right?
- Everything's in perfect order.

Please, sit.

Excuse me.

Right, I'll start.

The issue is this:

Do you know
Dr. Hamilton of Souza Castro?

He's like the pope of statistics
and he's invited me to participate

on a board for a masters thesis
of a student of his.

Yes, late notice,
but the professor was sick, lucky me.

What's the problem
if we leave this trip for later?

Will someone die?

In life, we have to have a focus.

Just 12% of people
who start a career

have a better result after some years
than they had expected.

- What's that?
- She made it up.

He wasn't like this.

When we first met,
he wanted to have a gym,

to start a line of shakes.

All right, the percentage of businesses

started by a person without any kind
of investment plan is small.

But what did he have? Ambition.

Now, after all this time,
I find him lazy and selfish.

I know.
Typical husband.

She promised me this trip, doctor.

Promised me.

A trip for us to be together,
just us.

It's hard, money's tight
and we have things to do,

but we agreed that
this would be during this holiday.

But no, this guy calls.

Not this guy.
Dr. Hamilton is a...

You see, doctor?
She cuts me off all the time.

She doesn't let me speak.

I've had enough of it.

I know. Typical wife.

I don't want to play the role
of the sucker anymore.

She doesn't value what I do,
my work.

I work hard, I give lessons...
I'm a personal trainer

and I'm always somewhere in the city,
working.

And I like what I do.

It's not my fault that she doesn't like
her work, which is boring.

No, no, it's not. It's boring for you,
since you're ignorant.

You see?
I don't want this anymore.

I'm tired.

If you're tired, I'm exhausted.

Children?

How are we going to have children
if we don't get laid?

It's true.

At first, doctor,
we screwed all the time.

It was nonstop, we...

We liked it, didn't we, Roberta?

It's just, at some point,

we decided it would only be once a week
and on Sundays.

- It's not like that.
- Ah, you're right, it's not.

Because it's been two Sundays
since we did it.

If she doesn't care for me,
how will she care for a child?

That's all wrong, okay?

He could admire my efforts,
respect me more,

without always thinking of himself.

There are no relationships like that, eh?

There are.

They last three months, maximum.

That's why children's stories always
end at the marriage ceremony.

But if you're here,
you want to give it a chance.

What's that?

It's my phone.
Don't worry.

You can answer.

It's my husband,
he knows I'm in an appointment.

Look, how wonderful,
he respects her things.

I don't respect your things, Roberta?

- How long have you been married?
- It'll be thirty years.

- Wow!
- Wow.

- Do you have children?
- Two.

But let's get back to you.

I think that, with my method,
it'll take five sessions.

All of that?

Too many?

We thought you would be faster,

since it's expensive, you know?

Yes. Could it be resolved
in two or three sessions?

Look, I think in three thorough
sessions we can do it.

I need at least four more sessions.

So, you need four and we need two.

We'll pay for ours
and you pay for yours.

I'll leave you to think about
what you really want

so you can decide
what you want to do.

- We...
- Sorry, we didn't mean to offend.

No, you didn't offend me.

You showed me that you're on
the same side, which is a good start.

I'll expect you next week
at the same time?

Excuse me.

Thank you, Fabiana.

It's good, right?

Very.

Pleasant, calm, sure of herself.

Thirty years of marriage.

But then she knows everything,
right, Miguel? So it's easy.

Her husband's lucky.

As soon as you get this message,
call me.

- If it's not...
- Hey!

- Ah!
- What is it, José?

What on earth are you doing
scaring people like that?

What do you mean scaring?
I said "hey".

Exactly.

Everything all right?

Everything's in perfect order.

And you?

What? Why?

Who were you speaking to?

With Carlão.

What did you do all day?
I suppose nothing, eh?

You called me out of desperation.

I don't answer the phone
during an appointment,

unless it's urgent.

But it was urgent.

What?

What happened with Benjamin?

Did the kibbutz explode?

Tell me!
What happened to my baby?

Speak to me!

But you won't let me!
First, your baby is a grownup.

Second, Israel is safer than Morumbi.

I called you
because I wanted to ask...

- It was something important.
- What?

I don't remember.

I think you need to speak
with Tiffany.

Stop that.
Do you still have that nonsense?

Nonsense?

Who helped you

when Ray
decided to attend dance school?

It was Tiffany.

Tiffany showed you that Daddy

was being chauvinist, prejudiced

and just because our son
decided to live in San Francisco

with his African friend Nabab...

doesn't necessarily mean he's gay.

No, of course not.

José...

Speak to Tiffany.

Go on, talk about your real feelings.

Tiffany, honestly, the only thing
I'm feeling right now

is constipation.

Our anniversary is coming!

Mine or yours?

Ours.

The pearl anniversary.

What's that?

Thirty years of marriage.

Already?

Wow, you're getting old,
eh, Tiffany?

This year I want to travel.

Shall we?

Ah, no.

Stop with that.
Crowded airport, delayed flight.

You know how much
a first class ticket is?

You want to risk
getting thrombosis

from being squeezed
into economy?

Don't jinx it.

Do as my father said:
"Pretend you've already gone."

Let's dine at the restaurant
of the Hotel Bozzano.

Again?

We've been going
to that restaurant for 200 years.

That's what we're up to, right?
200 years of marriage.

It has been the best restaurant
for 200 years.

I'm not interested.

I want something different,
I want something to remember the day.

José, let's change.

Come on!

I'm asking.

It's the armchair!

I remember what I called to ask.

What?

When was it that you moved
this armchair?

It was time to have a child, right?

Our family...

- I think it will be awesome.
- Yes, it will.

Because I loved him, okay?

I hoped that, with time,
he'd start to mature,

acknowledge my work
with the children.

My mother always told me:

"Changing husband
is like changing shiksa.

You're just changing defects".

I don't think that things
will change that much.

What?

Hey?

Coming and going.

SECOND SESSION

Beatriz.

73% of Beatrizes are strong,
successful women.

She made that up.

And you?

I dunno.

João?

He wants to be just one more,
a common man.

This choice says a lot, doesn't it?

I don't know. He could have
picked Paul, Joseph, Steve.

As if my doll's going to speak English.

It's not funny.

He doesn't take me to any
sophisticated places, you know?

Go to a cool restaurant. No.

Doctor, for me,
simple things are enough.

To make a tasty little dinner at home,
flirt in peace.

I don't care about going
to the Hotel Bozzano restaurant.

But I do!
I want, like, work for that.

But no, he thinks it's stupid.

It's stupid to work like a camel

and waste all that money on food,

since it all ends up
in the same place.

Ah...

- You know what you should do, Roberta?
- What?

To go to the park with me,
to run, exercise, no?

See if you raise your endorphin levels
and become happy, you know?

Gain muscle tone,
tighten that butt.

Are you saying my butt is soft?
Your mother has a soft butt.

What was that?

This buzzer will indicate
when it's time to...

breathe.

Can I take it home?

- Miguel, talk about your in-laws.
- Well...

My parents live inland, far away.

But not far enough.

Really?

Go on and tell her what your mum
gave me on my birthday.

What's the problem?

A pet. It's a sweet thing.

Sweet?

His mum gave me a fish.

- And you don't like fish?
- I do.

I do. In an aquarium,
the sea, on a plate.

She gave me a fish
in a bottle of vodka.

But it was empty.

I mean, it had water in it.

Of course,
because she's very responsible

and sweet too.

Jerk!

Go on.
Tell her what you did with the fish.

Say it, Roberta!

I put it in a tank in the living room.

And gave it the name Cow.

She shows it to everyone
who comes round.

It's still there.
Cow is tough.

- Is that necessary?
- As well as that...

Her mum treats him
like he's a baby.

It's like he's ten years old
when they're together.

When he's with his sisters,
well, you have to see it.

She never taught Miguel
to manage on his own.

He was always the youngest,
everything given to him, there you go.

There what?

A completely settled person.

I'm settled?

You never want to screw.

I'm not talking about sex, Miguel.

I'm talking about attitudes to life.

Ah...

Do you know why Roberta's like this,
doctor?

She takes after her mother.

She doesn't drink at all.
So damn boring, huh!

Press it!

It's clear that family
is a point of conflict.

Well, it would be a surprise
if it wasn't.

I want you to stop blaming each other

and to tell João

and Beatriz...

how you're feeling.

Is everything all right?

Your call is being
redirected to voicemail...

Just a minute.

What is it, José?
I'm in an appointment!

Finally!
If it had been a heart attack,

there'd be no time
to resuscitate me.

Where are my favorite flip-flops?

You know?
The ones we bought last year.

I don't believe this!

And I complained when you had
to spend a week away.

- What was that?
- Nothing, José.

The flip-flops are in the wardrobe,
with your others,

next to your shoes.

- No, they're not.
- Obviously they are.

Look properly!

Ah, I found them!

But it's better to leave them
next to the bed, you know?

We'll talk about that later, okay?

I'm hanging up!

Selfish.

Sorry.

Let's see.

Roberta, tell João
how you feel about your marriage.

I feel anger, frustration.

I don't want to have to give up
my things for anyone. And also...

I want you to respect me
and to put me first.

Whoa, hang on.

I'm not...
João is an imaginary me.

I don't put you first, Roberta?
What is this rubbish?

Last year I gave up
going on a fitness cruise,

to go with Roberta
to a statistics conference

in "Tibibipipoca"

just to hear you speak!

Now you see how seriously
you take your job.

- I don't believe you said that.
- It's Ibitipoca.

What do you think Miguel could do
to improve your relationship?

I want him to understand
what I need to be happy,

which might not be
what he wants.

To stop wearing flip-flops
and cargo shorts, once in a while.

To grow up
and stop being such a crybaby.

To take on the role
of a husband, you know?

To become a real man.

And you, Miguel?

That she was mute?

I want her to be...

generous, caring...

to compliment me once in a while.

Not just to point out
when I do something wrong.

That is, when she thinks
I've done wrong.

I say the same thing.

- The same as what?
- What?

- I don't care for you?
- Not as much as I would like.

- Well, you're nothing like I like.
- Well, find someone else.

Are you seeing this ignorance?

Well, I think we're wasting time here.

And it's been a long time.

Maybe I don't want to wait
thirty years.

- For what?
- To realize it wasn't worth it.

It's all the same, you know?
You lost your spark long ago.

Each day is the same thing:
either he's giving lessons

or he's lying on the sofa,
in flip-flops and cargo shorts.

I can't take any more.

I want something different in my life.
Extreme.

Go bungee-jumping,
who knows if the elastic will hold?

Extreme.

What I'm going to ask you
to do at home is this:

write down on a piece of paper
two names of celebrities

or characters that you think
represent each other.

Exchange lists

and tell each other
why you chose them.

Let's see how one sees the other

and what this has to do
with who you really are.

Therapy has to continue outside
of here.

Use the dolls.

Without insults.

We call it
"working on the relationship."

It needs work.

If it was easy,
there would be no need for aspirin.

- It's all for today.
- Thank God.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, doctor.

See you later.

But my favorite flip-flops
weren't like that.

Excuse me.

I'll be leaving.

You can go, I'm off too.

It's a shame, eh?
Mr. José won't be coming here anymore.

You think so?

I like him a lot, really.

Fabiana, can I ask you something?

- Of course.
- Have you ever gone bungee-jumping?

No, Jesus! I'd die of fear.

But you just go there and jump.

You know what's extreme?

Really extreme is to sleep
with the same person your whole life,

have children, compromise.

For that, yes,
you really need courage.

It's tiring, see?

So tiring.

I go to the gym every day
after I leave.

It's great to see people,
there's a lot of great classes,

to feel good.

That's a good idea.

Because if we don't care for ourselves,
who will?

Can I go?

Sure.

Excuse me.

Malka, pick up!

Fabiana!

It's funny.

We've worked together for so long

and I know so little about you.

Yes. It's always so busy, right?

Are you dating?

I'm going out with someone.

That is, I was.

But he's engaged.

How lousy.

Right.

I don't want to talk about it.

You're lucky.

Mr. José is incredible.

Well, onto the next one?

No, that's enough for today.

I think I'll be going.

See you tomorrow.

Start.

Mónica? Who is Mónica?

Mónica.

From the "Turma da Mónica" series.

You think you're the boss,
you're assertive, bossy,

and always in charge.

Give me that.
This game makes no sense.

I want to know what you really
think of me. Okay, Roberta?

We agreed with the doctor,
so that's how it goes.

I can take it.

Ah, well.

Clark Kent?

Yes.

Why?

I don't know.

Tell me.

Tell me, or you won't be sleeping here,
you'll sleep in the lounge. Speak.

Because...

Because he wants to look like a nerd,
but he's incredibly handsome.

He's strong, charming.

A bit silly, but...

Good or bad, he's a superhero
and he was always my favorite.

Roberta, let me...

- No, no, no!
- Quickly!

- You can't change it.
- I just want to make...

an adjustment.

Celine Dion?

Because you shout, see?

And you're boring.

Open yours.

Garfield!

I like it.

"Because you're lazy
and settled, Miguel".

Right.

But he's cute...

and everyone loves him.

I love you too, Roberta,
you know that.

It's late, it's late.

What?

You're going to stay there
with that face?

Everything has to be
when you want it, is that it?

Not when I want it,
at the right time!

I'm horny.
Can't it be now? What's the problem?

Miguel, you have to respect
my wishes, my love.

I don't believe
that you're saying that.

Why?

Well, let's do something.

I'm going to sleep!

I won't say anything else.
Okay?

Wow, great decision.

We're paying a fortune

for a lady to make us understand
each other and you don't want to talk.

Speak to Beatriz, then.

I can't, and you know why?

Beatriz wants to study,
to use the phone,

to use the Internet a lot,

to become the queen
of the doll kingdom.

It's just, she's going to do that
all alone.

- No, I'm listening.
- Right.

José, I'm going on the computer.

To do what?

Solitaire, to play solitaire.

No, stay here with me.

You know I don't like
these kinds of films.

That's some therapist, that Malka.

Malka. What kind of name is that?

You're speaking to yourself,
you idiot.

- You still call her doctor.
- Idiot.

- She's not even a doctor, you know?
- I'll call her what I want.

Why do you defend her
the whole time?

- I'm not defending her.
- Yes you are!

You're always implying that she's
a good wife, that I could learn from her.

You don't even know her.

At least when her husband calls,
she worries about him.

At least her husband is a partner,
who's interested in her stuff

and isn't... Isn't what?

Asking for stuff all the time.

- Malka!
- What?

Let's have some tea.
Make me some tea.

Ah, I was worried. I thought
it was something about the boys.

At least she trusts him

and doesn't have an jealousy crisis.

Aren't you coming?

Where?

You know what, Miguel?

I'm not going to ask a single thing
about your work anymore.

- Wonderful!
- You don't need to tell me anything.

- Great!
- Great!

Bad night.

At the start it was normal,
but now it's becoming strange.

I'm very...

Very horny.

Before I had to insist,
now she seems to be possessed.

And nothing from you, right?

What?

It's nice, huh?

Ha.

With us, once in a while, we...

We still fool around.

More than once in a while.

You can hardly walk.

But I just have to lie down.

THIRD SESSION

Now let's talk about your sex life.

How is it?

- Okay.
- Okay? Roberta!

After their first year of marriage,

92% of couples have sex
at most two times a week.

That's with each other?

Speak, doctor. Tell her.

Does your husband leave you to it?
Of course not. Why?

She takes care of herself,
everything's in the right place.

Tell her how to be a real woman.

Let's do this, Miguel.

- Take...
- Beatriz.

Right.

Tell Beatriz, calmly,

how you feel about your sex life.

Don't you see, Beatriz?
Our sex life is shit!

- Oh, is it?
- Shit!

That's right, it's shit, João.
He's right.

You never want to screw.

And you never get tired of asking
even if I'm not in the mood.

And he doesn't make
the slightest effort to be romantic.

He burps and farts in front of me
the whole time.

I bet your husband doesn't.

Tell him, tell him how it is
to have a real husband.

Apart from not seducing me anymore,
there's zero romance, it's...

"Sit here, sexy!"

Ah, sexy isn't a compliment?
Is that it?

If you find her sexy
and want her to sit here,

what's the problem in saying
"Hey, sexy, sit here"?

- I think it's nice, caring.
- But in her eyes, it's not.

- We've lost the magic.
- What magic?

- The magic.
- For the love of God, Roberta.

The other day, we were there...
It was nice, everything was right, we...

I had already said that I loved her,
suddenly...

She stopped.
She didn't even care.

Now be smart, Roberta,

because men who don't eat
at home, eat elsewhere.

- What was that?
- Exactly!

Doctor, tell me.

How many couples have problems
because the man cheated?

Many.

Everyone has limits.

- You're chauvinistic!
- It's not chauvinism.

- It's not?
- No, it's a fact!

Women have the right as well.

If the man is annoying
and isn't trying to get it on,

then women also have the right to...

go for whoever they want,
right, doctor?

No. But that's not the way.

Honestly, you can't live without sex.
Sex is like going to the bathroom.

- How romantic.
- I'm romantic, yes. I am.

- I say you're pretty, give you clothes.
- Which you get at the gym.

But I give them to you,
so we can do things together.

I don't know, run in the park, exercise.
You need to exercise, to be firmer.

Are you calling me saggy?
Your mum is saggy!

- Mind your tongue!
- I say what I want, jerk.

- Idiot!
- Fuck you!

- Fuck you too!
- No, you!

Why did you marry her?

Good question.
Very good question.

- Well, answer.
- Why? Because...

Because she was beautiful.

I mean, still is beautiful.

Secure, intelligent.

She was the one who most attracted
attention at the gym.

When she arrived,
she hired me personally

and things started, you know?

- But now...
- And you?

What?

- Roberta, what was that?
- What?

I don't believe you said
that you married me because of my dick.

And you say I'm not romantic.

Doctor, who is right?

- It doesn't matter who's right.
- How come?

What matters is if you're willing
to make an effort

to fix this relationship.

Take his hand, Roberta.

Tell me what you would miss the most

if you were to break up.

Wow.

I don't think I've ever thought
of that.

- But you've threatened it often.
- Think now.

Okay.

What would you miss?

I think how calm he is.

How lighthearted...

how certain he makes me
that everything will be all right.

And you, Miguel?

What would you miss
if she were to leave?

Roberta is my confidant.

She...

Has always been my friend.

My best friend.

I don't know, I think that...

I would be totally lost.

Separation is not
the easiest solution.

You can see.

How do we know, then?

How do we know
when it's time to break up?

When it's over?

A woman went to speak
to a great sage.

She said that her husband was horrible,
she couldn't stand living with him

and asked:
"Should I divorce him?"

The sage answered: "No".

She went away.
Some months later, she returned,

saying that her husband was even worse,
wouldn't stop fighting with her

and she asked again:
"Should I divorce him?"

And he said: "No."

So the woman, angry, said:

"How do you know
that I shouldn't divorce him?"

And the sage responded:
"Because you're asking me".

Divorce is not an option,

it's the only way out
when you stop asking.

Marriages have many stages.

There are stages when work takes over,

when children arrive and women
have many other responsibilities,

there's even a moment
where the man feels more vulnerable

and doesn't want sex.

No.
No, that'll never happen.

- Why not?
- It won't happen.

I'm telling you, it won't happen.

If the guy doesn't want to screw,
you can be sure:

either he's with someone else,

or the relationship is over,

but the guy doesn't know
how to leave.

Is everything okay, doctor?

Everything's in perfect order.

What I'm going to say is a very
important thing. Pay attention.

One of the greatest secrets of marriage
is masturbation.

Ah, of course.

- You have masturbated?
- Erm, I have.

Of course I have,
I just don't like talking about it.

To your therapist?

There's no need for shame.

And you?

I have, nonstop. It's normal.

I'm just a bit worried,
because if I continue like this,

I'm worried that at the end
of the month I'll have RSI.

Repetitive Strain Injury.

Right, well I think
that's enough for today.

That's good.

Don't forget the dolls.

Here, Roberta,
it's an opportunity to fantasize.

João may not be Miguel, but...

he will do well for our purposes.

Thank you.

- See you later, thanks.
- See you then, thank you.

Go on, it's green.

What are you doing?

Speak, José! What's happening?
Are you okay?

It's awful.

I don't know what to do.

What is it?

I'm not...

How can I say it? I'm not...

working anymore.

You're saying...

I have the desire, you know that I've
always been attracted to Malka, but...

it won't get up.

You think mine gets up?

- Without help?
- No?

Of course not.

Of course not.
For a long time.

You've done well.
Lasted a while.

But you take this here

and your happiness
will be right back.

It's a miracle, José.

As you see,
I keep this in my wallet.

You never know.

No side effects?
No dizziness?

Tachycardia?

There's some dizziness, tachycardia,
but fuck it.

Fuck it.

Today he hasn't called all day.

Right.

When you need them, they're busy.

When they're busy,
they don't care.

Ah... Eight.

Malka, I hope you're ready.

The sleeping giant is back.

Model airplanes.

That's just the first step.

Next he'll want to buy a motorcycle,
get a tattoo.

Men at that age are dangerous.

Women too.

Aerobics.

Pick up.

Please, pick up.

He wants to be young again?

Well, then, he'll have to start
chasing after me.

Ah, such emotion, it's the first time.

Doctor Malka.

Hey, Miguel!

You're exercising here?

Well, I have to look after myself, eh?

No way, you look great.

- You work at this gym?
- Every day in the afternoon.

Excuse me.

Well, you're in great hands with Isa,

so anything you need, just let me know.

- Thank you.
- I'll be over here.

You're welcome.

Sorry...

but Tiffany and I are going
to have a conversation.

Right, Tiffany?

Right? Eh? Well...

A scarf...

José!

Malka, stop creeping up like that.

Like what?
I said your name.

Didn't I tell you
not to make a mess?

But you're a natural at that, eh?

Is everything all right?

Just a bit of tachycardia.

We should go to the ER, it could be
a heart attack. Where's the Isodril?

Calm down, it's fine. It's fine.

You're sure?

What's Tiffany doing here?

She...
I was talking to her.

Didn't you tell me to speak to her?

I did.

Really?

Ah, how lovely, José.

Maybe that's why you're nervous.

You're not used to talking
about your feelings?

It must be that.

You see they're not just little things?

My method is very effective.

Very, very.

I'm going to go lay down a moment
and think of what happened here.

Your lust, your tenderness

My legs brushing against yours

Where I spill my verses

In my shameless decency

Whispered desires

Discretely revealed

Your body stiff with desire

Your body stiff with desire

FOURTH SESSION

Right, since today
is our penultimate day,

it's time for some role play.

Miguel is great at this.

Roberta, you can be Miguel.

Miguel, you can be her.

Imagine yourself in thirty years.

Miguel is retired.
Roberta, no more children at home.

You can start whenever you want.

Ro, Ro... I'm hungry, Ro.

Ro, where are you, Ro?

Ro, where are my tablets?
Ro, Ro!

And because I don't have arms or legs,
I can't move.

And I'm a man, you will have
to care for me your whole life,

like a child,
and I won't thank you for it,

because you're doing no more
than your duty,

even earning more than me
most of the time.

You have to take care of the house,
the children.

No, I'm the man.
I own the world!

And yours too, of course.

My turn?

Get off me, Miguel!

Stop bothering me!
Stop asking me for things

and demanding that I do things
at the time you want, when you want!

Don't think of doing anything
without me, okay?

Don't think
of leaving me aside, okay?

Also, where did you go
last night, Miguel?

There's obviously someone else!

I don't want to screw,

but I also don't want you
to fuck anyone else.

Thirty years!

It's been thirty years
and you don't want sex.

That's normal, right?

It must be.

I treat you like a retard,
but I'm not your mother, okay?

I want to be left in peace, but I'm
going to keep bossing you around

until you understand
what it is to be people!

I don't want to change you.

Just a little.

Nobody changes, doctor.

He's right, nobody changes.

Right.

A person, with some effort,
could improve himself,

but they can't want more
from someone than he can give.

The truth hurts...

but it's a relief.

What do you want?

Who do you want?

Are each other still enough?

Painkillers.

Roberta...

where are you?

I'm at home, making dinner.

Where are you?

No, I don't believe
you're still at the university.

I'm...

No, it's not drama.
I'm making din...

I'm not making drama, Roberta.

You... We agreed...

Nobody can do that
for you, is that it?

Ah.

No, it's fine, it's fine.

I'll wait, I'm here waiting.

Bye.

Hello.

You're not going to say hello?

You fell out of bed.

You're not going to speak to me,
is that it?

Miguel, don't forget today
is our last session.

I'm being serious.
It's expensive, you know?

I'm the one who's paying!

55 years of marriage, eh?

And?

And it's impossible,
that in that whole time...

Like what?

You know it meant nothing to me.
It was just once and it's gone.

Look, seriously,
there's no problem.

I forgave you.

That's why they say that women
are more moral.

After I had sex with my co-worker,

it became easier to understand you.

I traveled a lot, you know?

But I always came home.

I always came back to her, my love.

I think you didn't understand
the question well.

It's fine.

You know it didn't mean
anything to me.

It was one time. It's in the past.

FIFTH SESSION

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

Malka left already?

I should be asking you, right?

My appointment was at 7:30 pm,
I was late because of traffic

and I've been waiting almost
five minutes.

- That long?
- Right. You are...?

José, Malka's husband.

- It's a pleasure. Roberta.
- A pleasure.

I've been imagining
what you would be like.

Are you disappointed?

No, no, of course not.

Look, I tried to call her cell phone,
but it seems to be going off in there.

But it's all dark
and I didn't want to go in.

I'll see.

What's this?

These two skeletons
are Pedrão and Tiffany.

Tiffany?

It's some nonsense
Malka made up.

Nonsense?
This here is Beatriz.

She gave her to me.

And this one on top of her...

is João, Miguel's doll.

It's obvious!

Tiffany, you whore!

I don't think this means anything.

Look here, look at this jacket!

This jacket here is Miguel's!
I've been looking for it for weeks.

You're not being
a little bit paranoid?

Paranoid? How?
Don't you get it?

They left these dolls here
on purpose, for us to...

To find?

As soon as I saw her reaction
when I told her the size of his...

And Miguel,
Miguel was all praise for her.

"Malka, yeah,
she's a real woman".

They were talking at the gym.

Malka's going to the gym?

How could I be so stupid?
Why didn't I notice sooner?

Wait, it might just be
a joke in poor taste.

- Empty. She's gone.
- With Miguel!

Roberta and Miguel!

She told me about you,
she said you were boring

and he was handsome.

What? I'm going to contact
the Medical Council!

She's not a doctor.

I'll...

Ah, how stupid!

Now I'll be just another statistic

about heterosexual couples who break up
because of male infidelity

in a smaller space
than the one spent dating.

What?

I screwed up as well.

I really screwed up.

But I love Miguel.

And I was ready
to change, you know?

I even canceled my night classes just
so we could spend more time together.

And me?

We've been married thirty years today.
Thirty years! That's a lifetime.

With time, things started to fade.

With age...

My God, a handsome,
well-endowed young man.

I never thought
she'd have the courage.

How disgraceful!

Answer, it could be her!

- If it's her, I want to speak.
- It's not.

No?

Hello?

Yes, yes, I made a reservation,
but something came up.

Unfortunately,
I'll have to cancel, is that okay?

Thank you very much,
in any case.

Good night.

I had even prepared a surprise.

We were going to eat at
the Hotel Bozzano restaurant, then...

Wow, it's my dream
to eat at that restaurant.

But Miguel never wanted to,
he never took me.

I don't believe this is happening to me.

I don't believe it!

I'm going.

Hey.

- Miguel?
- I...

I was here the whole time.
I got here a bit before you both

and I was dying to go
to the bathroom.

So I left the doll on the chair,
went to the bathroom,

when I was leaving, you were arriving
so I decided to listen...

to your conversation
to see what you'd do.

And I heard you say
that you were sad,

because you thought I...

I was going out with the doctor.

She's not a doctor!

Whatever.

What matters is that I heard that you
wanted to drop your lessons tonight

to look after us more.

I love you, Miguel.

I love you lots, too.

Come here.

Oh!

Fabiana!

What's going on here?

Anyone?

- Malka, where were you?
- I'm asking the questions.

What were you doing in the bathroom
with our secretary?

No, Malka, I was...

With Miguel.

Dani, are you leaving?
Tomorrow without fail!

Hey.

So you're a marriage counselor?

No, I'm a secretary.

Excuse me, I have to go.

It was a mistake, I know.

But today, when I got here,
it was just her.

And she started threatening me,

telling me she was going
to find you and tell you everything.

When I saw you arriving,
I couldn't think of anything else,

so I locked myself in the bathroom,
together with her,

which was a bad idea, I admit.

Roberta, look at me.

It was a mistake, forgive me.

I don't know...

I don't know if I can.

I'm going to get some water.

And you, where were you?

I went to collect a package
which arrived.

What is that?

Before you trade Tiffany
for two 25-year-olds...

These are Jessica and Stephanie.

I like it.

I'm going.

No, wait there.

Just a moment. When you were
in here, I heard you say

that you messed up badly.

- I did?
- You did.

What did you do?

This has never happened
to me before.

It's fine, it happens to everyone.

Oh, my God.

- And it was great!
- What do you mean?

Ah! We'll lose the reservation.

Reservation?

Don't say it's for the Bozzano!

You wanted to go
to that restaurant, right?

What?

That restaurant, you wanted to go.

José...

could you arrange a table
at the restaurant for me and Roberta?

- I can try.
- Wait.

No, Miguel, I don't know anymore.

Roberta, please!

Let's try.

Let's start over.

The restaurant is very expensive.

- Oh, dear. José, you can...
- Miguel!

She wants to go to the restaurant,
don't be stupid!

Doctor, hang on, she's not saying that,
she thinks one thing and says another.

- Roberta, please.
- It's fine, it's fine.

I want to go, yes.

This sort of thing
is important to me.

Let's start over.

It's reserved. Shall we?

Thank you.

I'm just going to have some water.

- Well, good luck.
- Thank you.

If you need me,
you know where I am.

- Thank you very much.
- Congratulations on thirty years.

Thank you.

- Shall we?
- Let's.

What was that?

The appointment.

Fabiana ran off,
but they need to pay for the appointment.

What appointment?
We didn't have an appointment.

I was here at the arranged time.

- We didn't sit down...
- It's all fine. Here, look.

We found out last night.

Really.

Now that life
is becoming more calm,

we were starting to travel,
to go out...

We're going to start all over again.

But she wanted to get through it, too.

Right.

We didn't just expect it
to work out the first time.

But it's good,
they grew up together.

It's worth it,
because we grow up with differences,

we learn to deal with them.

It's annoying, but she's right.

Flexibility and patience.

Perhaps that's the recipe.

And sex.

Did I not say laying down would work?

You fine piece of ass!

Good night.

It must be through there.

Malka!

José!

I thought we were having dinner earlier,
but we have strawberries.

To us?

To us.

Just us.

I love you.

I love you too.

I'm not doing anything.
Nobody's coming.

Everything all right?

Everything's...

in perfect order.

Malka dear,
do you know where my hat is?

Ah, found it.