Number One with a Bullet (1987) - full transcript
After a string of bad luck with their undercover operations, a duo of narcotics cops realizes that there must be a mole in their department, and their suspicion falls on their own captain, who never gives them a break. Nick, the hothead who's still in love with his ex-wife, is determined to prove that a local respected businessman is the head of the organization. But his pragmatic & debonair partner, Frank, agrees with the entire rest of the police force: Nick is crazy. After a forced vacation, they go a little beyond the law to bust the crime boss & find the mole.
[ Jazz playing ]
That was great.
Why the hell
would you wanna
be a cop?
- Why not?
- That sounded great.
Wynton marsalis
I'm not.
- I don't know.
- Good evening.
- Hi.
- Compliments
of the house.
Thank you, darling.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- Here's to you, kid.
- And you.
Now that's
why I'm a cop.
You get paid money
when you're a cop.
My cop chops are better
than my horn chops.
- Actually, I prefer
the classics--
- mmm.
--Tchaikovsky,
stravinsky.
Well, there's nothing
wrong with that.
However, Tchaikovsky was
purelyclassical.
Stravinsky
on the other hand
is like listening
to Charlie Parker--
he incorporates
the classical
with improvisation--
a melody
and a variation
on a melody.
- You follow?
- Yeah, I just can't
believe you're a cop.
[ Chuckles ]
Why?
- You're so sensitive.
- Oh.
I thought
all cops were jerks.
- [ Both laugh ]
- Man: Not all of
them, honey.
- Just the good ones.
- [ Groans ]
- I'm Nick berzak.
I'm frank's partner.
- Hi, Nick.
- How are you doing?
- Pretty good.
Frank been telling you
about his police exploits?
Actually, we were
talking about classical
music and jazz.
Well, let me
tell you something
about frank.
Frank Hazeltine
is the best cop
I have ever seen.
I've seen
some good ones.
You know, I once
saw frank go into
a bar full of dykes
and kick the shit
out of all of them.
Then he burned
the place to the ground
- just to teach
them a lesson.
- He's just kidding.
- Oh. [ Laughs ]
- Don't be shy, man.
Did you tell her
about the nine-year-old kid
you blew away last week?
It was all
a mistake, actually.
I mean, the kid
had a water pistol,
and it looked real.
Now most of US
would have waited,
but not frank.
He blasted the kid
right between the eyes.
He had to Bury
the little fucker
in a rubber bag.
If you'll excuse me,
- I really
have to be going.
- Wait a minute.
Hey hey, don't go.
It gets better.
- You're sick.
- [ Chuckles ]
What's the matter
with her, anyway?
Fuck you.
I mean, she would
probably take you back
to her place,
and you have the best sex
of your entire life,
so big deal.
Did Teresa turn
you down again, putz?
No way, I had
to hold her off
with a cattle prod.
When are you gonna
give up on that woman?
I cannot help it
if I'm in love with
her, all right?
Look, to hell
with women, all right?
Who needs them?
- It's just you
and me, frank.
- I'm not going.
Come on, man.
You'll love it.
How long have
you been staking
out decosta?
And what have you got
to show for it?
Total zip.
The man is a sleaze.
I intend to prove it.
You are a very sick man,
you know that?
Yeah.
You're making me sick,
eating that garbage.
Hey hey hey.
Don't insult
the good name
of El Maya, pal,
just because you can't
get alfalfa sprouts
with truffles.
You know what I mean?
You really don't care
anything about your
stomach, do you?
Yeah, it's my stomach.
I put whatever
I want in it.
True, you got
that right.
[ Laughs ]
Oh, Harry,
you're too good for me.
Mr. Decosta,
Mr. Pogue's here.
- I'll see him
in the study.
- Yes, sir.
I was just
getting warmed up.
That's it
for tonight, honey.
I've got business.
What am
I supposed to do?
I don't know.
Read a book
or something.
You do read,
don't you?
I see you're pogue.
You come highly
recommended.
This is the gentleman
we discussed.
Right, the talkative guy.
You want me to do it,
you know, slow?
No no, there's
no need for that.
He's an old friend.
One thing.
You know you're
being watched?
Yes, berzak-- a cop.
Actually,
he's a fanatic.
Forget it.
I'm not wired.
[ Kids chatting ]
- Hi.
- Hello, speedy.
You couldn't
have mailed it?
I don't trust
the mail.
- It's a week late.
- Sorry.
Really.
Can I come in?
I was just about
to go out.
Just for a minute.
I wanna talk.
Fine fine.
- Just for a minute.
- Yeah.
You changed
this place around.
Where's my walleye?
- What?
- My walleye.
I threw it back.
You dumped my walleye.
That was the largest
walleye caught
in bay lake, Minnesota.
That was a record,
you know that?
Then why didn't you
take it to your place?
It's only been
two years.
Besides, I didn't come
here to argue with you.
Then what did
you come here for?
You wanna go
to dinner?
No, I don't think so.
- No.
- Why not?
You got something
going on?
You got a guy
coming over, don't you?
Yeah. What,
he's gonna come over,
and he's gonna take
you to a movie,
buy you
a real big dinner,
and then you're gonna
put on the sexy underwear
that I bought for you
- that you would
never wear for me.
- That's it!
Get out of here now.
Oh really? Aren't we
watching decosta's
house any longer?
- I don't do
that anymore.
- Please leave.
Hey, I've got
better things to do
with my time, all right?
- Fine, go.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
Goodbye, Nick!
Saturday it is!
[ Whistles ]
Get over here.
- Pay attention.
- Hey, Nick.
- Yeah?
- I got a cut
on my knee.
Okay, what do you got?
She had a guy over
to visit her this week,
a guy in a red corvette.
Well, all right,
darling.
That's good.
Keep up the good
work, okay?
Hey.
- Me?
- Yeah.
You going to see
Teresa berzak?
Yeah, I am.
You're not
her husband,
are you?
[ Chuckles ]
No, I'm her physician.
You're not one
of her contacts,
are you?
I'm afraid I don't
understand what--
don't worry, man.
I think we caught it
in the early stages.
She's probably gonna
tell you about it
right now anyhow.
See, it's very important,
getting in touch
with all her friends
in her intimate circle.
Have a good day, man.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- Sure.
[ Carnival music playing ]
[ Singing "cielito lindo" ]
Hey, what's
happening, baby?
You sure is looking
fine tonight.
Whoo! Women like
you shouldn't be
left all alone
on a sweet night
like this.
But hey,
that's okay.
'Cause old Lionel's here
to make everything nice.
How about a bite
of my foot-long?
Hey, beat it, asshole.
I already got a boyfriend.
And a very lucky man
he is too, mama.
And I'm gone.
Man: Step right up
and test your strength.
Come on,
ring the bell,
win a prize.
[ Bell dings ]
And the winner:
Number 50.
All right, kids. Sorry,
better luck next time.
Man:
Step right up.
Three throws.
All right, young lady,
you show him.
Man:
Three tosses for $1.
Just $1.
Come on over here.
You, come on.
Hey, you.
Come on,
try your luck,
buddy.
Police officer.
Freeze!
Get out of the way!
- Move it! Move!
- Yo, man!
Get out of the way!
119 to central.
Send some
backup, would you?
5th and bonaventure.
- 10-4.
- Man: 10-4.
I'll call it in.
Man: B-5.
[ Chattering ]
N-44.
G-56.
[ Snoring ]
O-62.
O-74.
G-59.
Man:
Bless me, father,
for I have sinned.
You got that
right, ace.
Oh, shit.
A whole bag full.
O-48.
I-17.
G-45.
N-32.
Back off, pig!
- [ Gunshot ]
- [ All scream ]
Ladies, please!
This is a house
of god!
Preacher, tell this
man the ingredients
of mortal sin,
would you?
A serious matter,
sufficient reflection, and--
lose the gun,
or I'm gonna kill
this son-of-a-bitch.
- You hear me?
I'll do it!
- Go ahead.
God damn it, man.
I'm not kidding!
Neither am I.
You kill him,
I'll kill you.
Hey, wait a minute.
I got it.
I'll kill him.
I'll kill
the son-of-a-bitch.
Yeah, I'll kill him.
That's it.
I'll kill him,
you kill me.
Don't.
I'll do it.
- I will!
- [ All gasp ]
Hey, man, come on.
Let's kill some
more people.
There's lots
of people to kill
out there, man.
And then it'll just
be you and me.
Come on, man.
Shut up, man!
Shut the fuck up!
Come on, man!
We'll all be dead!
Man:
You crazy bastard!
Berzak:
Let's do it!
Let's die
right now, yeah!
- Man: You're crazy, man!
- Berzak: Come on, do it!
[ Grunts ]
Eh, fuck it.
- Woman: What?
- On the ground, asshole.
Right now!
Man:
Yeah!
Put your hands out
with your palms up.
Come on, do it.
Right foot over
the left.
Frank.
[ Chuckling ]
Oh my god.
You do make
one ugly broad.
Jesus, man,
I love being a cop.
[ Laughing ]
Man:
I'm really proud
of you guys.
That was a damn
good job.
Hey, come on.
It's 18-year-old
scotch.
Hey, I had
18-year-olds before.
Very sweet.
- This will
fuck you up.
- [ Knocks ]
[ Phone ringing ]
In the future,
I would appreciate it
if you would wait
for sufficient backup.
Kaminski,
the d.A. Wants US
to extradite boudreau.
- The hit man?
- Yeah.
As a matter of fact,
I want these two
to do it.
He got picked
up when he wasted
a pusher down south.
He wants to make a deal.
He said he'll trade
his employer
who he claims
is the source of all
the China white
coming into the city,
not the mention the new
influx of black tar.
Okay, so three guesses--
who is it?
Al carolini?
Enrique Escobar?
- Tai Charlie?
- Harry decosta.
Ah.
Come on, Nick.
Come on, get off
of that.
Hey, I know
it was decosta.
Harry decosta
is the chairman
of the united fund
and of the best friends
of the mayor, berzak.
So?
Not to mention
a major contributor
to the boy scouts
- and the philharmonic--
- hey, that was his shit
last night.
So was that airport
case last month.
- I guarantee it.
- Be that as it may,
you two leave for del mar
tomorrow morning, 9:00.
Get some rest.
- Larry: Why them though?
- I can't go to del mar.
Paul: I want undercover
officers, and these are
two of the best.
I want to make sure
that Charlie boudreau
stays alive to testify.
My mother lives
in del mar.
You think somebody's
gonna take a pop
at him, captain?
Yeah, it could happen.
Just make sure
it doesn't.
I haven't called
my mom in a month.
I'm a dead man.
Hey, I expect
more sympathy out
of you, frank.
[ Chuckling ]
Hey, speed man.
I don't want
to go unless--
honey, I'm home.
[ Rewinds, beeps ]
Woman:
Nicholas,
it's your mother.
I'm very upset
with you.
Nicholas,
are you there?
If you're there,
pick up the phone.
Don't monitor this phone,
Nicholas. Pick it up.
You haven't even--
[ Screeches ]
[ Beeps ]
Nicholas,
it's me again.
I'm sorry I got
angry, honey,
but after all,
when a son refuses
to call his mother,
I mean, there's
something very
wrong there.
Well, it's not
asking much.
I'm asking you
to call me and tell me
that you're fine,
that you're well,
that I love you,
and that I miss you
and that's all.
That's not a lot.
You can reverse
the charges.
I'll pay for
the collect call.
[ Beeps ]
I'm not a well person,
Nicholas.
[ Beeps ]
Frank:
Nick, it's frank.
I can't go
to del mar, man.
I just found out
they want US to fly.
I'm terrified
of flying.
You know flying scares
the hell out of me.
You know I'm scared
stiff of flying.
You gotta confront
your fears, frank.
I am quite calm.
Woman on tape:
You have no fear
of flying.
I have no fear
of flying.
You enjoy the sensation
of flight,
and you understand
that you are safe.
I enjoy the sensation
of flight,
and understand
that I am safe.
Berzak:
You're gonna
go down in flames!
You are, by far,
an asshole.
[ Laughing ]
Have you called
your mother to tell her
we're coming down?
Hmm?
Uh, not yet.
[ Laughs ]
Oh shit.
You are quite calm.
I am quite calm.
- Here, you keep
the change.
- Thanks.
- Thank you, sir.
- Sure.
You got something
for me?
Mr. Boudreau's mouthpiece
is dragging his feet,
and I won't be able
to let you have him
until tomorrow.
Hey, man, we gotta
be back tonight.
But Mr. Boudreau will
be here until tomorrow.
Oh, that's great.
What the hell are
we gonna do in del mar
until tomorrow?
I'm not seeing
my mother.
Did you call
my mom?
- [ Laughing ]
- You're in deep
shit, pal.
I haven't called her
in a month, man.
[ Buzzes ]
Woman: Coming.
So you come to town,
and I gotta hear it
from your partner?
- Hey--
- hey?
- How do you know
I'm not going out?
- Are you going out?
I never go out.
You know better.
Come in here.
I haven't seen
you in so long,
I forgot what
you look like.
I look like this, mom.
- You lost
weight, baby.
- No.
Yes, you're thinner.
Want a cup of coffee?
I just made
a fresh pot.
- Yeah.
- Oh, good.
So how long are you
staying this time, babe?
- I gotta leave
in the morning.
- What?
I gotta be back
in the morning.
Oh no.
I should have known.
Well, I still
get to see that
sweet face.
Ooh, I'm gonna
give you a niner.
Ooh, that was fun.
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah.
Frank sends
his love.
- Oh, he's
a sweetheart.
- Yeah.
I'll bet he saves
your life.
Not that often.
Want some banana cake?
- Yeah.
- I made it
fresh today.
How's Teresa?
Better off
without me.
Well, it's your
own fault, babe.
[ Chuckles ]
You should have
married decosta.
You spend more time
at his house
than you do
in your own.
I mean,
it's the truth.
I don't blame her.
Oh, thanks, mom.
You should have
gone to law school
like your brother.
- Hey, fuck lawyers!
- Nicholas berzak!
- I like being
a cop, all right?!
- So did your father!
Aw, shit.
It happens,
all right?
I just don't want it
to happen to you.
No sweat, mom.
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, yeah, great.
Jokes now, right?
Yeah, look, I don't
need this shit.
- No no no no,
Nicholas, no no.
- It's all right.
- It's cool, no problem.
- Come on, no, look,
no no no.
- What do you think
we've just been doing?
- We won't fight anymore.
I promise.
Okay?
Stay for dinner.
I'll make you
your favorite.
- Sloppy Joes?
- And fries.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
You're shitting me,
right?
Hey, I don't shit you.
Come on,
we'll go peel
the potatoes.
God, mom,
I love you.
I love you, baby.
Come on, boudreau.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- [ Both chuckling ]
- Yeah.
Bye, see ya.
You take care
of yourself. Bye.
[ Door shuts,
engine starts ]
I was gonna ask you
where the fuck
you've been.
- Hello, Charles.
- It's Hazeltine...
And berzak.
Christ almighty.
I'll never make it
back alive.
- How the hell
are you doing?
- I'm doing just fine.
Yeah, look,
just give me a tip,
all right?
What do you say
to the bitch when you
first see it? All right?
Woman on tape:
Your inward self
is balanced.
Frank:
My inward self
is balanced.
You have no fear
of flying.
I have no fear
of flying.
You have no fear
of flying.
I have no fear
of flying.
Berzak:
So Charlie,
who's pipelining
all the Chinese shit
and the black tar into L.A.?
Fuck you.
Come on, man.
Al carolini,
right?
Johnny ruffino?
- You guys are
narcotics cops.
- Yeah.
I am quite calm.
[ Chuckles ]
I am a dead man.
It's Harry decosta,
isn't it?
Fuck off.
- Hey, frank!
- [ Muttering ]
Berzak: Frank!
- Hey, man,
we've got trouble.
- [ Gunfire ]
What the hell
was that?
Everybody down!
Jesus, I am gonna
go down in flames!
Yeah.
You okay back there?
Shit. Landing gear.
Yee-haw!
Oh, shit!
I can't believe
this happened.
- You okay, frank?
- No, I'm not.
Shit!
Boudreau!
Boudreau, freeze!
- Come on, Charlie.
- [ Cow mooing ]
It's only
a matter of time.
Got that
son-of-a-bitch.
I saved your life,
young fellow.
You might have
saved my life,
but you ruined
my career, buddy.
Shit!
Call an ambulance!
Haul ass!
Charlie,
you're gonna be okay.
- Bullshit cop.
- Yeah.
Just tell me it was
Harry decosta, okay?
You know, I killed
a lot of guys with
a shotgun.
I always wondered
what it felt like.
It sucks!
Just tell me
it was Harry, man,
would you, please?
Shit.
Charlie?
Shit.
- God damn it!
- Old McDonald had
a shotgun.
- Shut up.
- I don't wanna hear any
of your bull, berzak.
Somebody tipped
off boudreau's
extradition.
I think you're
trying to cover up
for these two idiots.
Pending the investigation
of this matter,
I want these men
at desks.
Now get out
of my sight,
all of you.
Let's go.
[ Muttering ]
What?
I was just talking
to myself.
[ Horn playing ]
Frank:
Like that?
- Yeah, that
was great.
- Yeah?
But I'll see
you at the natural
food seminar?
- Okay, I'll be
looking for you.
- Great.
- Both: Bye.
- It's good to
see you.
Mmm mmm.
[ Sighs ]
- Berzak: Has it always
been like this for you?
- Since I was 10.
- Can't figure it out.
- I don't think about it.
What the fuck
is that shit?
Yogurt, yeast paste,
lecithin--
all the things you
ought to be eating.
Want some?
No way, I'm on
a low-mucus diet.
You know that.
- Yeah.
- I've been
thinking, frank.
It's decosta again,
isn't it?
No, it's not about
decosta again, frank.
I think we ought
to go after the guys
that hit boudreau.
Figure they're local.
Now how do you
figure that?
Because they're
working for decosta.
There's that
name again.
What, frank?
They made US look
real bad.
The entire squad thinks
we're screw-ups.
So now you wanna
screw up real big
to remove all
doubt, right?
No, I don't
wanna do that.
I'm just
an agile guy, frank.
I can get my foot
in my mouth.
I can even
work with my nose
to the grindstone,
but my ass doesn't
fit under a desk
- and neither does yours.
- No no no!
[ Knocks ]
Who is it?
[ Berzak with accent ]
What's happening, man?
Some brothers downtown told me
you got v.C.R.S for sale.
Get out of here, man.
You got the wrong house.
I'ma ignore you.
I got cash,
motherfucker.
I need 20 of them.
[ Squeals ]
[ Pounding ]
Put your hand
on your head.
Keep it there.
Hey, I was just
on the toilet thinking
about you all, man.
Ain't life a bitch?
Yeah, hiya, Casey.
All this yours,
brother?
Yeah, brother.
Well, see, I'm about
to get married.
You know how
everybody gives you
the same present?
- Oh yeah yeah.
- Oh yeah, that's right.
That's right.
What, you got
this $8,000 rolex
for Christmas, right?
Yeah, I got that
from my lady, man.
So how come
it's engraved,
"with love,
to Dr. Ira kettlebaum."
Check it out.
That's what the bitch
calls me, man.
Oh, it's like
a pet name, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[ High-pitched voice ]
"Stick it to me,
Dr. Kettlebaum."
- [ Grunts ] Right?
- Oh yeah.
- Berzak: Is she a real
squealer and shit?
- Yeah, she's a freak.
- A squealer, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hey, look.
You brothers want
something, right?
So why don't
you take yourselves
a v.C.R. Apiece?
You know better
than that, Casey.
We want a line on
the dudes that popped
Charles boudreau.
Hey, look, I ain't
got nothing to do
with that, man.
- That was downstate.
- We figured the guns
were local.
Yeah, and unless you
wanna produce receipts
on all this shit,
including the rolex...
You dig what
I'm saying?
Okay, man,
I'll look around
and see what I can do,
all right?
All right,
you do that.
Take it easy, Casey.
Take it easy,
big fella.
- We got to book
this shit in.
- I'm excited.
Hey, Nick, yo,
you know what
they're calling you
on the streets now?
- What's that?
- Ber-zerk.
They should
meet my mother.
Right, frank?
Yeah, she's probably
an ugly bitch.
You think
Casey will come up
with anything?
He better,
or I'll step on
his kettlebaum.
Oh, why did I eat
those extra jalapeños?
'Cause you got
an unconscious hostility
- towards your colon,
that's why.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
- It's 8:10.
I'm supposed
to be having dinner
with Teresa tonight.
When are you gonna
give up on that lady?
She deserves better.
I know it,
but I can't help it.
I'm in love with her.
- All right?
- All right, okay.
All right.
Thanks a lot.
Frank:
See you later.
I'm a cop.
Be cool.
Sit down.
[ Mutters ]
Carlo. Shit.
Don't breathe,
all right?
Hey, sorry, man.
It's Nick berzak.
We went
to high school, man.
We stole a trans am.
Oh yeah, Nick.
How you doing?
- Good, man.
How are you doing?
- You look good.
You got some
blood on you, man.
- You okay?
- It's your blood, Carlo.
Oh, wow,
I must be hurting
or something, huh?
- Yeah, man.
- Hey, I'm on
medication, Nick.
Yeah. Okay,
listen, Carl,
you just go home
- and dry out,
all right, man?
- Okay.
- And get some
ice on that lip.
- All right, man.
All right, man.
You're new around here.
What's your name?
- Malcolm.
- Malcolm.
- Yeah, what are you,
welcome wagon?
- Yeah.
Yeah?
I've seen you
oozing around
the street.
- What is your scam?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- I sell amway
products.
- [ Both chuckle ]
- Yeah.
I catch you dealing
any soap flakes in
this neighborhood,
- I will cripple you.
- I ain't afraid of no
jive-ass cop, man.
I know my rights.
[ Grunting ]
Malcolm, I am not
your normal jive-ass
cop, all right?
And around here,
you got no rights.
You must be ber-zerk.
You don't know
the half of it, baby.
Hey, Malcolm,
have a nice day.
- [ Knocks]
- Coming!
Hi, ready for dinner?
What happened?
Dinner at 8:00.
Don't you remember?
No, Nick,
I never said I'd go
to dinner with you.
- What happened?
- Why? You got
somebody here?
No, I don't.
What happened?
I just beat the shit
out of a guy I went
to school with
in high school.
I caught him
in the middle
of a buy,
and I fucked
him up real bad.
I can't do it again.
I can't. God.
God, why do you
have to make this
so difficult?
Don't do
this to me.
I don't wanna
do this to you.
Can't you understand
that I just need to take
care of myself now?
Yeah yeah yeah.
I'm sorry.
Are you gonna
be okay?
God damn it.
I get the feeling
I'm paying for a
lucky accident.
Hey, it wouldn't
have happened if
I wasn't there.
Let's just say
I motivated it, hmm?
Oh, by the way,
that cop who always
watches your house--
what's his name?
- Berzak.
- Right.
--He was one
of boudreau's escorts
out of del mar.
The way I hear it,
he's got a real
thing for you.
Now for a small fee
I could--
I don't bother
killing cops, pogue.
It's bad
for my reputation.
However, I do
have a transaction
this weekend.
Be nice
if he wasn't around.
Maybe a small
diversion?
A family crisis,
perhaps.
I'm running
a special.
Berzak.
[ Acoustic guitar playing ]
♪ I'm not feeling
too good myself. ♪
You know,
I cannot figure out
why it is every time
I talk to that woman,
I say the wrong thing.
Why is that?
You always shoot
your mouth off before
your brain's loaded.
That's why.
Berzak: Bingo.
Dr. Kettlebaum
approaches.
Okay, this is it.
I got a line on a guy.
His name is
Bobby sweet.
It seems he likes
to talk a lot when
he gets high.
He claims to know
the guy that did
Charlie b.
And where do we find
this Bobby sweet?
He works at
some mud palace--
gazzarri's.
Am I clear?
Am I off the hook now?
Depends on
Bobby sweet.
You can go now,
Dr. Kettlebaum.
- ♪ We're so glad
you made it... ♪
- God.
♪ We're so glad
you made it ♪
♪ and give me
some lovin' ♪
♪ give me
some lovin'. ♪
[ Trumpets ]
You can make
animals sick
with that shit.
You should cool out.
Hey, but how
about that?
Hey, listen,
do you have anymore
room on that bicycle?
Berzak:
Hey hey hey hey,
I've been working
on this a long
time, man.
I gotta be honest
with you, Nick.
I've got an
aversion to mud.
That's funny,
because it resembles
that health food crap
you've been scarfing.
Ain't you ever
made mud pies when
you were a kid?
- [ '80s music playing ]
- [ Crowd cheering ]
[ Woman shrieks ]
Nice ambiance.
Of course,
once the yuppies
discover this place,
it's gonna be swamped.
Wouldn't you like
to get in there
with them?
- You've got no respect
for the human body.
- Sure I do.
Would you gentlemen
like to be seated?
We're looking for
a man by the name
of Bobby sweet.
- You know him?
- Funny name.
I'd remember that one
if I ever heard it.
Maybe Bruce
the bartender
knows him.
Hi, speed.
How are they hanging?
Fine, thanks.
We're looking for
a guy by the name
of Bobby sweet.
- You know him?
- Take a hike.
We don't need cops
like you coming in here
and fucking it up.
This is just
a simple request, pal.
Do you know him?
You heard Bruce.
He asked you nice.
- Out.
- Listen, you
fucking eunuch.
Oh, shit!
Up the stairs, Nick!
Yeah, get up, babe.
Come on, ref.
Come on, hop in.
Hey, buddy,
no free looks, huh?
Slime face.
Come on out,
sweets.
Stop abusing
yourself, man.
Put down the smut.
Come on, Bobby.
All right.
Woman: That was Bob!
My god, he's killed
himself.
Hey hey, you can't
do this to me, man.
I got rights.
- Come on, come on.
- Hey, what is
this, man?
Riding around
with you all night.
You kinda stunk up
our car, pal.
We need a little
fresh air.
- Someplace quiet.
- Yeah, someplace
you can scream.
Bobby:
Oh, that's funny.
Some people told US
you like to talk when
you get high.
Are we high enough
yet, Bobby?
I don't know.
I swear, I don't know.
He'll never make
a good lawyer, Nick.
He can't lie for shit.
Come on, move it.
You can go back down.
All you gotta do is
tell US who killed
Charles boudreau.
All that shit
you've been mainlining
fucked up your
leg muscles,
didn't it?
Come on, move it.
Okay.
Oh man, Bobby.
You can see everything
from up here, man.
You can even
see the ground
from up here.
Wait.
Wait, come on.
- Bobby, I want you
to check this out
- don't push.
- Come here, man.
- Okay okay okay!
What do you think
of that shit, huh?
Bobby:
Oh my god.
Jesus Christ, oh god.
I wouldn't have
figured you'd be
the religious type.
- Most people are.
- Because we're so close
to god up here.
- Yeah.
- Oh god, man.
I just talked, man.
I just shoot my mouth.
Jesus Christ, I don't
even know anything.
I don't know shit,
man, really.
- Maybe these will
help you, Bobby.
- Oh god.
- I'm not gonna
put those on, man.
- [ Chuckling ]
- You can't make me.
- Sure we can.
Frank:
Don't worry, Bobby.
- Oh god, please.
Please, oh god.
- Frank: It retards hair loss.
It increases blood flow
to the brain, Bobby.
- How's your memory?
- Oh god.
I'm gonna throw up!
- Well, technically you'll
be throwing down, Bobby.
- Yeah.
- Oh god,
please, oh god.
- God's got an alibi.
Try somebody else, chief.
Hey, Nick, you think
maybe the boots are
a little too tight?
- Yeah.
- Pogue!
Terry pogue!
- [ Sobbing ]
- It worked.
It worked!
- I told you.
- That's right, frank.
I bet Bobby
can even remember
Mr. Pogue's address.
- Ain't that
right, Bobby?
- Oh, no.
No no.
No, yes.
Bunker-- bunker hill--
bunker hill condominiums
apartment complex.
- Amazing.
- 2608.
- Look at that.
- Okay, Bob, we'll
check it out.
No no,
wait wait wait
wait wait wait.
Aren't you gonna
let me go?
Well, look at it
this way, Bob,
by the time
we come back,
your complexion will
be all cleared up.
Yeah, and you'll have
a lot more hair.
- Hang in there, Bob.
- Wait!
No, wait wait!
No, please!
Don't leave me
up here!
Come on, guys!
Sparse,
but I like it.
[ Footsteps approaching ]
Who's there?!
- [ Rattling ]
- Who's there?
Who's there?!
Bobby.
Oh, Terry.
Oh, thank god.
Oh, man. I didn't tell
them anything, Terry.
I didn't tell them
shit, man, I swear.
They left me here.
You should have seen it.
I laughed right in
their faces, man.
I appreciate
that, Bobby.
Hey, do you think
that you could,
you know,
help me down?
Sure, Bobby.
Sure.
Oh, great, man.
Thanks.
[ Screaming ]
Oh my god!
- Oops.
- [ Thuds ]
So decosta represents
your father,
and you scarf all
of this junk food
to fulfill an oral
longing for your
mother's breast,
which incidentally,
is 70% fat.
Oh, that's
great, frank.
First, you ruin
food for me,
now you gotta
ruin tits.
- Oh shit.
- What?
Freeze!
Police!
Freeze!
I don't know why
I tell them to freeze.
They never freeze.
[ Tires screeching ]
[ Screams ]
He should have froze.
It's not like
we didn't tell
him, right?
Am I missing
something here?
Is it now
departmental policy
for detectives
to make up their
own assignments,
act on their
own authority?
They're acting on
my authority, Paul.
Oh, on your authority.
How nice.
I put them
on desks.
I ought to bust
all three of you
down to traffic.
Look at it
this way, captain.
We got the guy
who whacked boudreau
in the hospital
under 24-hour guard.
Now he can finger
decosta, of course.
Decosta again?
I'm sick and tired
of hearing about decosta.
You haven't got
a shred of evidence
to prove he even
kicks his dog.
Harry decosta is a decent,
upstanding citizen,
god damn it.
The doctor says
we can talk to pogue
tomorrow, Paul,
- then we'll
have our evidence.
- Oh, all right.
That's wonderful.
Then I want you to assign
two detectives
to go to the hospital
to take pogue's statement,
but not these two.
Berzak, Hazeltine,
this is the last break
you get from me.
You stay away
from the hospital
and off of this case.
Is that clear?
Out.
[ Muttering ]
I don't blame him.
- He knows what
he's talking about.
- What?
I was just
talking to myself.
Thanks for covering
for US, Larry.
I don't know
why I keep saving
your guys's asses.
Because in your heart,
you know we're right.
[ Phone ringing ]
Telephone, sir.
- Decosta.
- Man: I found him.
- He's alive
in the hospital.
- What hospital?
County general.
He broke a couple bones.
- I see.
- Want me to take
care of it?
No no, just do what
you normally do.
I'll take care of it.
[ Jazz playing ]
Very nice.
Mmm, smashing.
- Who is?
- You are.
- I am?
- You are.
I am smashing?
You are smashing.
You are smashing too.
- I am?
- You are.
[ Rings ]
This is memory Lane,
Herman.
Berzak:
Hey, Herman.
Nick berzak.
Hey, how are
you doing, Nick?
- Yeah.
- Can you get her
to the phone?
Yeah, don't tell her
who it is, man.
Sure.
Excuse me.
There's a call
for you.
Oh, thank you.
- Hello?
- Hello.
You know that gentleman
you're sitting with?
- Yes.
- Yeah, did he discuss
his sexual preferences
with you?
- Who is this?
- Look, that's not
important, baby.
Did the son of a bitch
discuss his sexual
preferences
- with you?
- No, why?
I don't know
why he does this to me.
I mean, well, I guess
it's because he gets some
kind of perverse thrill
out of toying
with my emotions.
It's probably
because he's a cop.
You know, he has
to flirt with women
to prove that he's a man.
You know,
woman-to-woman,
I feel so cheap
and so used.
[ Chuckles ]
Thank you.
- You faggot.
- What?
Berzak.
You're a shithead,
you know that?
I mean, just because
Teresa blows you off,
doesn't give you
the right to fuck up
my life, shithead.
Have I told
you recently what
an asshole you are?
Why don't you fill me
in on the details
- on the way
to the hospital?
- The hospital?
Nick, this is
goddamn idiotic.
You know what Ferris said.
- Hey, Ferris is a jerkoff.
- Well, be that as it may,
why can't we wait
until Ferris has his boys
question pogue tomorrow?
Ferris's boys
are jerkoffs.
[ Beeping ]
Woman over P.A.: Dr. Tanney
to secretarial station.
It's only
Mr. Pogue's
medication.
How are we doing,
Mr. Pogue?
How is he doing?
- Hey, Dr. Tanney.
- Tanney: Hi, speed.
- How are
they hanging?
- Cozy.
- Glad to hear it.
- What is that shit?
I guess everybody
knows how rusty
they're getting.
That is uncool.
Hi, guys.
- Nope.
- Hi, Nick, right?
- What are you
guys doing here?
- We're here to see pogue.
Nobody sees him.
We got orders.
Captain Ferris sent
US over personally.
How come lieutenant
kaminski told US
specifically
not to let
you guys in there,
especially if you said
you had orders from
captain Ferris?
Kaminski is
a bullshit artist,
all right?
Frank, tell them.
Four dodger tickets,
all right?
And two super
rib dinners at
argents, okay?
- You're not getting
in there, berzak.
- God damn it.
[ Pogue screams ]
Woman on P.A.:
Code blue, 12th
floor, stat.
- Code blue,
12th floor, stat.
- [ Flatlining ]
Oh shit.
- Visitors, Mendez,
rise and shine.
- I hate morgues.
That's him.
Joseph Mendez,
professional hit man,
- worked freelance.
- Didn't mind doing over
kids either.
- This guy was
a badass.
- Really?
He hasn't given me
a bit of trouble.
Yeah, well,
I guess we'd better
get going.
Really?
I was in the middle
of ordering lunch
before you guys
came up here.
You sure I can't
interest you guys
in anything?
- No, thanks
anyhow, man.
- All right.
Anybody else?
Just the one
pastrami then.
So what do
we do now?
What you do now, frank,
is you go fishing.
You're both
on vacation.
What are you
talking about?
I just spent an hour
in Ferris's office
saving your
asses again.
He was all ready
to suspend you both.
I finally
convinced him
it was just
battle fatigue.
You need
a little time off.
So okay, two weeks.
Take it.
You know what's
really weird, man?
Yeah, every time
we make a move,
somebody is
one step ahead of US.
Yeah-- Ferris.
That's calling it
pretty close, pal.
Where the fuck
are you going?
Malcolm.
Berzak:
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust, huh?
Oh man, you guys
ain't got no respect
for the dead.
All right, come on out
of there, Malcolm.
Come on.
Detective Hazeltine.
- Up against the wall.
Come on.
- Yes.
What have we got here?
A nice little toy, huh?
Yeah.
All right.
What have we got
here, Malcolm?
What, a little blow?
A lot of blow.
Hey, this is that--
this is that
black tar,
isn't it?
Yeah, I'm thinking
about getting into
the roofing business.
- What's this?
- What?
This shit.
What is it?
Actually,
that's my mother.
Malcolm:
Hey hey hey hey.
This don't look
like no police
station to me.
Frank: That's because
we're on vacation,
- and we've got all
the time in the world.
- You dudes are crazy.
Hold that
thought, baby.
So you gonna
rape me now
or what?
[ Chuckling ]
I wanna talk about
Harry decosta.
- All right?
- Feel free, man.
- Personally, I never
heard of the dude.
- Oh, is that right?
Then where have
you been scoring
all your black tar?
I forget.
Damn, you junkie's got
bad memories.
Oh, that's cool.
No, we got
people that remember
for you, Malcolm.
You see, the word
on the street
is that you are rapidly
becoming somebody's
top salesman.
Oh, Malcolm.
Shit.
That black tar's
good, isn't it?
You popping
that stuff three times
a day or what?
So where is
the next shipment
coming in?
Between your
mama's legs.
My mother?
That's a good one,
shithead.
There's nothing I like
better than a good joke
about my mother.
- Asshole.
- You're a dead man,
ber-zerk!
- Oh yeah?
- Everyone on the street's
talking about it.
On the homicide
hit parade,
you are number one
with a bullet, Jack!
The beauty of all this,
we don't even have to
lay a hand on him.
Look at him.
He's starting
to shake already.
- You look a little
pale, brother.
- Yeah.
And we got
lots of time,
right, frank?
We're on vacation.
Pig!
I want my lawyer!
No problem,
Malcolm.
Just tell US
about decosta.
Where did you
last meet him?
In bed with your mama.
Oh, that's right.
And she said
you were both lousy.
Yeah...
Nothing I like better
than a good mom joke.
Malcolm:
I've never gone
this long before, ever.
- [ Singing ]
- Stop it, stop!
♪ You are the one
who can make US all laugh ♪
♪ but doing that makes US
break out in tears... ♪
[ Screaming ]
Oh god, stop it!
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
Tomorrow-- the stuff's
coming in tomorrow.
Where?
Just get me well first.
[ Strums guitar ]
All right,
all right, all right,
all right, all right!
All I know--
listen,
the stuff comes
in through some
trucking warehouse
on the south side.
I swear, I don't
know the name of
the place, okay?
[ Groans ]
I swear.
[ Groans ]
Okay.
[ Moaning ]
Enjoy yourself,
Malcolm.
You dick.
Oh, you're a dead man,
just like pogue.
- What about pogue?
- Yeah, what about pogue?
Pogue--
what about pogue?
Decosta had
him iced,
just like he's gonna
have you iced.
But how do you know
it was decosta?
He talked
to his man,
and then he hired Mendez
to shut pogue up.
- What man?
- His man in
the department.
- His ears.
- That's bullshit.
You're lying.
Oh, no no.
It's the truth.
I swear.
- Who?!
- I don't know
his name!
All I know is
it's somebody big.
Just please--
okay, Malcolm.
It's all right, man.
You're off the hook.
Hey hey hey,
what about my stuff?
- Man, you promised!
- I sincerely hope
this little
consultation has taught
you a valuable lesson...
On the perils
of narcotics abuse.
Please.
[ Whimpers ]
[ Chimes ]
Hi there.
What do you want?
- I wanna talk to you.
- About what?
US.
God, Nick,
there's nothing
to talk about.
Hey, wait a minute.
Please?
What?
I'm thinking
about getting out.
[ Sighs ]
It seems I've heard
this before.
Have dinner with me.
I wanna talk
about it again,
seriously.
You can't talk
about anything
seriously.
Hey, I'm a jerk,
all right?
But a lovable jerk.
Hey, you're killing
my self-image here.
You really are.
Just dinner,
all right?
Please?
I refuse to eat
at El Maya.
That's not a problem.
A real restaurant
this time.
Okay, tablecloths,
waiters, champagne,
bathroom.
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah, I'm gonna
regret this.
What the hell?
Man:
Bring it back.
Go all the way forward.
And the crane.
Beautiful.
Class up.
Hai.
Thank you.
[ Tooting ]
[ Jazz playing ]
[ Honking ]
This man is serious.
How do you
like that shit,
speedball?
[ Brakes squeak ]
[ Crane whirring ]
[ Screams ]
Hmm, a.T.C.
You know,
Nicholas berzak,
sometimes you are
not such a jerk.
What?
Sometimes...
- God.
- [ Chuckles ]
I've got
a great idea.
Let's go back
to your place,
get naked,
and then screw
ourselves into
unconsciousness.
You're so romantic.
Couldn't you be
just a little
less direct?
Yeah, sure.
We'll go back
to your place,
- get naked...
- [ Laughing ]
...have some champagne
and some strawberries
and then screw
ourselves into
unconsciousness.
Oh god,
how could any woman resist
when approached like that?
Well, believe it
or not, some have.
I'm just kidding.
Actually, you are
the only woman I've
ever cared about
in my entire life.
God damn it.
It's the wrong
credit card.
- Listen, baby--
- you want me to
drive it up?
Yeah.
Just be a second.
[ Laughs ]
[ Screams ]
Teresa!
[ Beeping ]
- Nick, Nick.
- Frank.
Jesus Christ, man.
What happened?
I heard about Teresa.
Is she okay?
Yeah, she's gonna be okay.
What happened to you?
Two dudes in a semi
tried to squash me.
Nick, I just
heard what--
Jesus Christ, frank.
What happened to you?
What the hell
is going on here?
A couple of guys
tried to kill him
with a semi truck.
Somebody--
and I'm not saying
it's decosta, okay?
--Somebody's
after our asses.
Are you guys
getting close
to something here?
Yeah, death.
Larry, we need
to keep this really
quiet, all right?
There's a very big deal
going down tomorrow.
It's on the east side.
- Where on the east side?
- We'll find it.
- A.t.c. Transport.
- See?
A.t.c.?
Boy, there's a lot
of activity out there.
How we gonna know
where the deal's
going down?
- Check out the limo.
- What limo?
Berzak:
That one.
Frank:
I don't see
any limo.
You don't see
that limo?
- Frank: Oh, I see it.
Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- 30' long.
- Okay okay
okay okay okay.
- Jesus, frank.
Let's go
check it out.
Mm-mmm, no, you're
gonna start blowing
everybody away.
We need a low profile.
I'm going.
- You cut me
to the bone, frank.
- Right.
Just keep your eye
on the limo.
Yo!
[ Whistling ]
Shit, I can't see
the damn limo.
Hmm.
Come on,
move the goddamn
truck out of there.
No, the fucking
limo is gone.
Son of a bitch.
Frank, get in the car!
Why?
What happened?
The limo's gone!
Would you mind
telling me what
the hell's going on?
I think the limo's
in that fucking truck.
What the hell are
all the black-and-white
units doing here?
Must be our leak
in the department.
This is not
comfortable, gentlemen.
I'm in the same kind.
- Deals on wheels.
That's pretty slick.
- Yeah.
[ Siren wailing ]
Police, police!
Pull your vehicle
over to the right.
Pull your vehicle
over to the right,
and freeze.
Frank, I told you--
don't say freeze, man.
It only pisses them off.
I can't get
a shot off.
Berzak: Get in
the back, frank.
- What are you gonna do?
- Just get in the back.
All right, trust me.
Check's in the mail.
Okay, get ready,
frank!
Okay, you son
of a bitch!
Pull that truck over,
god damn it!
Now!
All right,
come on out of there,
you son of a bitch.
All right, get down
on the ground now!
Spread your legs out.
All right,
give me your hand.
Give me your hand.
Yeah, that's what
I thought.
Watch your head,
fighter.
10-4, good buddy.
Let's get on down
to shaky town.
You know how to drive
one of these things?
We'll find out.
- Oh, gross.
- [ Frank laughs ]
Hang on back there,
decosta.
♪ We're so glad
you made it ♪
♪ we're so glad
you made it. ♪
[ Honking ]
Man:
Move up, move up.
That's good, that's good.
Get those civilians
out of here.
- Frank.
- Let's go.
Come on,
sport, out.
You are completely
surrounded.
Place your weapons
at your feet.
Put your hands
behind your head.
- Man: Stand back.
- Man #2: I got it.
Drop the gun,
asshole!
Put your hands
behind your head!
Get down out
of the truck.
Let's go!
Move it!
Over there!
Lay down!
- Man: Hands
over your heads.
- Man #2: Move it, move it.
Man:
Spread 'em.
Frank: Well,
what do you know?
Tai Charlie!
We got tai Charlie!
Drop the bag,
Charlie.
Frank:
Hello, Arnie!
Come on down.
Come on, move it.
Move it.
Haul ass.
He did it to me
again, frank.
Oh, Nick,
give me a break.
Hey, the son of a bitch
isn't here, all right?
I'm gonna
have some coffee.
Want some coffee?
[ Laughing ]
Holy shit.
You guys always gotta make
a big splash, don't you?
- It's a nice
case though.
- Yeah.
- Congratulations, guys.
- Your black and white units
rolling on the warehouse--
what's that shit?
Nick, I swear to god,
Ferris told me
specifically--
yeah, uh-huh,
right.
We think Ferris
is the leak in
the department.
What?
[ Chuckles ]
Hi, speed.
- Where have you been?
- Working.
Did you get him?
I'm really
sorry, baby.
I didn't know
he'd hurt you.
Think I'd feel any better
if he hurt you?
Come here.
Oh, god, Nick,
when is all
this craziness
gonna be over?
I just want it
to be over.
Soon, baby.
Really soon.
Woman over P.A.:
Attention, please.
Visiting hours--
- Nicholas, Nicholas.
- Yeah, mom?
- When did you get here?
- Just now, but I've
got to go.
Where are you going
this time of night?
I got a little
unfinished business,
that's all.
I love you, mom.
I love you, baby.
[ Buzzes ]
Yes?
Once upon
a midnight dreary,
as I pondered
weak and weary.
Who is this?
It's the wind.
And nothing more,
only this.
Nothing more.
Manny, check
the main gate.
[ Groans ]
Yeah, quoth the raven,
asshole.
Hey hey hey
hey hey.
That's really good.
Right there.
Very slowly pull
your hands away
from the weapon.
Good.
Put your hands
behind your head now.
Interlace
your fingers.
Hey, doll,
do me a favor,
would you?
Take his piece,
thumb and forefinger.
Great, put it
right on my feet.
Now reach around
behind me and get
my cuffs.
Mmm.
Just the cuffs, baby.
- Okay, doofus,
hug the statue.
- Monte.
Monte.
Hug the statue, monte.
Yeah yeah.
- Got him?
- Yeah.
Shut him up.
Put your ankles
together, chief.
That's good.
Ooh, nice big ones, huh?
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- I'm not armed.
I can see that.
Wanna frisk me anyway?
Maybe some other time.
Where's
your sugar daddy?
- He's in bed.
- Uh-huh.
Follow me.
Okay.
Stay, monte.
What the fuck?
Yeah, what the fuck,
asshole?
Here we are, Harry.
Just you and me.
Nobody between US.
You're insane.
Yeah...
That's the rumor.
You won't shoot me.
I don't like you.
You can't shoot me.
You're a cop.
Have a nice day,
asshole.
Hey, what's the matter?
You don't answer your
phone anymore?
Huh?
I'm about
to be suspended
without pay, man.
You're lucky
decosta didn't file
criminal charges.
What, you're telling
me how lucky I am?
Fuck you.
Whoa.
I just talked to Teresa.
She'd like to see you.
Oh, what do
I say to her?
"Hey, baby, I'm sorry
I almost got you killed."
She was right
to throw me out.
I'm just bad news
for everybody.
So what are
you gonna do?
Just walk away?
- Yeah, maybe.
- What about decosta?
He's clean, frank.
Haven't you heard?
Why don't
you stopthis?
Oh, man, why don't
you just go to hell?
Hey, wait a minute, man.
For four years
you've been bugging
the shit out of me
about decosta.
You hammered
my love life,
you took away
my weekends,
you've been
a fucking pain
in the ass, Nick,
but I hung in
there with you
because you're my friend.
We're partners.
Hey man, nobody
gives a shit,
all right?
So why the fuck
should I?
Because it's more
than just decosta.
We were set up by one
of our own guys.
You gonna walk away
from that too?
They fuckedus, Nick.
And I think we ought
to oblige them
and return the favor.
Miranda Sullivan,
American civil
liberties union.
I'd like to see
the transfer authorization
on a suspect--
- kettlebaum, ira.
- Yes, ma'am.
Yes ma'am,
we don't have anybody
under that name.
Can you tell me
how it's spelled?
Just like it sounds.
Casey: Hey, man,
I'll knock you
on your ass!
Hey, just get over
there and shut up.
We need the keys
to the evidence room.
You have to
sign in first.
Hey, berzak,
I heard you got
suspended.
That's a bunch
of shit, man.
- The captain let me off.
- Okay, officer.
You're interrupting me,
you know?
Just a moment, ma'am.
Just a moment.
I'm gonna need
your guys's names,
- the suspect's--
- ow! Son of a bitch.
He bit me.
Can we do one thing
at a time, please?
It's spelled
k-e-t-t-l-e-b-a-u-m.
Casey:
Hey, get off
of my Booty, man!
Is this standard
operating procedure
around here?
Casey:
Ow, stop it, man!
Can we at least
dump the evidence?
I'll take care
of the paperwork
myself later, okay?
- Thanks, catch.
- I'm counting
to three.
- One-two-three.
- Berzak: All right,
now what?
- Casey:
I'm counting to 10.
- All right, count to 10.
- Officer, could you
get back here, please?
- One, two, three...
Pay attention.
I was here first.
- Please do your duty.
- Four, four and a half.
Just get the lead
out, Sonny, and get
me kettlebaum.
Well, can you do it?
I thought you
guys said I was off
the hook, remember?
- We lied.
- Yeah, don't you know
you can't trust a cop?
Yo, man, you dragged me
out of bed in the middle
of the night,
no jacket,
no drawers on,
kicking my ass.
Cut the crap.
Can you do it or not?
Of course
I can do it.
I can steal your mama.
I'm the best.
Then shut up
and get started.
Yeah, and scream
every now and then.
- For what?
- So nobody gets
suspicious, asshole.
Yo man, tell this
white boy brothers ain't
into that shit no more.
I'm just too cool.
I'm sorry.
Okay, mister,
I'll tell you what:
You scream every
now and then, or I'll
make you scream.
[ Screaming ]
Fuck you, man.
[ Screaming ]
I said nettlebaum,
- with an "n."
- You said kettlebaum.
Don't you blame
your mistakes
on me, Sonny.
[ Screams ]
Shit.
- Oh, shit!
- You can get
in there, huh?
Yeah, we can
get in here.
Hey, look, man,
I don't know what
you guys are into,
but let me in,
all right?
- Shut up.
- Just open the box.
- Hey hey hey.
- I'm just checking
it out, man.
- Open the box.
- I never been nowhere
like this before.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- After you.
- After you.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
We could work
together, man.
Me and you.
We decided
to let him off
with a warning.
[ Phone ringing ]
Monte!
Hello?
The cops don't have
the cash no more.
Who is this?
Tai Charlie.
I'm not giving the cash
to no one else.
No one else
but you, Harry.
You're fucking with me,
you're dead.
So I read about you.
That was
yesterday's news.
Our man downtown
has more pull than
we thought.
I got it all back.
Meet me.
When and where?
2:00 at the old
athletic club
in long beach.
Monte, call our
friend downtown.
Narcotics, please.
Yeah, at the old
athletic club in
long beach.
You know it?
It's monte.
You know it?
He said if you want
to pick up your end,
be there at 2:00 A.M.
got it?
Decosta:
What have
you got, tai?
So you weren't
kidding.
Ferris, what are
you doing here?
Berzak:
Freeze, police!
Berzak, Hazeltine?
What the hell?
What's going
on here?
- Frank: We got
you mothers cold.
- You what?
Don't play dumb,
asshole.
They're not
playing dumb, Nick.
Drop the gun.
Drop the gun!
How could you
let this happen,
kaminski?
Just shut up, Harry.
Jesus Christ.
Kaminski?
- I'm sorry, Nick.
- What about US,
Larry?
You two get to die
heroic deaths,
shooting it out
with a big-time
drug smuggler
and Ferris
the dirty cop.
[ Chuckling ]
I'm sorry.
I really liked
you guys.
Hold it, Charlie.
Hold it right there.
Nick!
Frank.
No no no.
No no no no, man, no.
I'm showing
the man the view.
Oh god, I am
so glad decosta's
behind bars.
I don't have
to hear your mouth
about decosta anymore.
I am so happy.
Outside of breaking
every rule in the book,
damn near getting
me killed,
booze on the job,
you guys cracked
a pretty big egg.
Well, thank you, sir.
- However...
- Every time.
...your tactics
are lousy.
If kaminski hadn't folded
and spilled his guts,
we still wouldn't have
a thing on decosta.
I'm sorry, sir.
You guys are
good cops.
Well done.
Well, thank you, sir.
Thanks, captain.
Nice stuff.
I've gotta give up
this business.
This is--
- what?
- I was just talking
to myself, sir.
- Have a nice
day, captain.
- Yes.
I always liked him.
Nick, you are
so full of it.
I swear.
Hey, I did.
Besides that,
I figured he was clean
the whole time.
[ Laughing ]
Bullshit bullshit.
Oh, excuse me.
- After you. Jesus.
- Jesus.
You know,
I'm gonna miss
you, speed.
Hey man,
I keep trying
to tell you.
Private investigation,
all right?
You got your own hours.
You're your own boss.
It's very happening.
You're so
full of it,
I swear.
Can't bullshit
a bullshitter,
can I?
- Nope.
- All right.
I'll see you later.
Take care of yourself.
Okay, man.
Come on, speed!
Lake arrowhead's
gonna dry up.
I'll see you
later, Teresa.
- Have a nice time.
- See you, man.
- Both of you.
- Okay, baby.
Frank: Bye.
Hi, darling.
Let's get
out of here.
Mrs. Berzak over phone:
Nicholas, it's your mother.
Listen, I don't
understand why you think
I'm out of my mind
if I wanna
go to arrowhead
with you and Teresa.
[ Beeps ]
Nicholas, it's me again.
I'm sorry I got angry.
But when a son
can't talk to his
own mother,
I don't know what to--
[ Squeaks ]
Nicholas, I am not
a well woman.
[ Jazz playing ]
That was great.
Why the hell
would you wanna
be a cop?
- Why not?
- That sounded great.
Wynton marsalis
I'm not.
- I don't know.
- Good evening.
- Hi.
- Compliments
of the house.
Thank you, darling.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- Here's to you, kid.
- And you.
Now that's
why I'm a cop.
You get paid money
when you're a cop.
My cop chops are better
than my horn chops.
- Actually, I prefer
the classics--
- mmm.
--Tchaikovsky,
stravinsky.
Well, there's nothing
wrong with that.
However, Tchaikovsky was
purelyclassical.
Stravinsky
on the other hand
is like listening
to Charlie Parker--
he incorporates
the classical
with improvisation--
a melody
and a variation
on a melody.
- You follow?
- Yeah, I just can't
believe you're a cop.
[ Chuckles ]
Why?
- You're so sensitive.
- Oh.
I thought
all cops were jerks.
- [ Both laugh ]
- Man: Not all of
them, honey.
- Just the good ones.
- [ Groans ]
- I'm Nick berzak.
I'm frank's partner.
- Hi, Nick.
- How are you doing?
- Pretty good.
Frank been telling you
about his police exploits?
Actually, we were
talking about classical
music and jazz.
Well, let me
tell you something
about frank.
Frank Hazeltine
is the best cop
I have ever seen.
I've seen
some good ones.
You know, I once
saw frank go into
a bar full of dykes
and kick the shit
out of all of them.
Then he burned
the place to the ground
- just to teach
them a lesson.
- He's just kidding.
- Oh. [ Laughs ]
- Don't be shy, man.
Did you tell her
about the nine-year-old kid
you blew away last week?
It was all
a mistake, actually.
I mean, the kid
had a water pistol,
and it looked real.
Now most of US
would have waited,
but not frank.
He blasted the kid
right between the eyes.
He had to Bury
the little fucker
in a rubber bag.
If you'll excuse me,
- I really
have to be going.
- Wait a minute.
Hey hey, don't go.
It gets better.
- You're sick.
- [ Chuckles ]
What's the matter
with her, anyway?
Fuck you.
I mean, she would
probably take you back
to her place,
and you have the best sex
of your entire life,
so big deal.
Did Teresa turn
you down again, putz?
No way, I had
to hold her off
with a cattle prod.
When are you gonna
give up on that woman?
I cannot help it
if I'm in love with
her, all right?
Look, to hell
with women, all right?
Who needs them?
- It's just you
and me, frank.
- I'm not going.
Come on, man.
You'll love it.
How long have
you been staking
out decosta?
And what have you got
to show for it?
Total zip.
The man is a sleaze.
I intend to prove it.
You are a very sick man,
you know that?
Yeah.
You're making me sick,
eating that garbage.
Hey hey hey.
Don't insult
the good name
of El Maya, pal,
just because you can't
get alfalfa sprouts
with truffles.
You know what I mean?
You really don't care
anything about your
stomach, do you?
Yeah, it's my stomach.
I put whatever
I want in it.
True, you got
that right.
[ Laughs ]
Oh, Harry,
you're too good for me.
Mr. Decosta,
Mr. Pogue's here.
- I'll see him
in the study.
- Yes, sir.
I was just
getting warmed up.
That's it
for tonight, honey.
I've got business.
What am
I supposed to do?
I don't know.
Read a book
or something.
You do read,
don't you?
I see you're pogue.
You come highly
recommended.
This is the gentleman
we discussed.
Right, the talkative guy.
You want me to do it,
you know, slow?
No no, there's
no need for that.
He's an old friend.
One thing.
You know you're
being watched?
Yes, berzak-- a cop.
Actually,
he's a fanatic.
Forget it.
I'm not wired.
[ Kids chatting ]
- Hi.
- Hello, speedy.
You couldn't
have mailed it?
I don't trust
the mail.
- It's a week late.
- Sorry.
Really.
Can I come in?
I was just about
to go out.
Just for a minute.
I wanna talk.
Fine fine.
- Just for a minute.
- Yeah.
You changed
this place around.
Where's my walleye?
- What?
- My walleye.
I threw it back.
You dumped my walleye.
That was the largest
walleye caught
in bay lake, Minnesota.
That was a record,
you know that?
Then why didn't you
take it to your place?
It's only been
two years.
Besides, I didn't come
here to argue with you.
Then what did
you come here for?
You wanna go
to dinner?
No, I don't think so.
- No.
- Why not?
You got something
going on?
You got a guy
coming over, don't you?
Yeah. What,
he's gonna come over,
and he's gonna take
you to a movie,
buy you
a real big dinner,
and then you're gonna
put on the sexy underwear
that I bought for you
- that you would
never wear for me.
- That's it!
Get out of here now.
Oh really? Aren't we
watching decosta's
house any longer?
- I don't do
that anymore.
- Please leave.
Hey, I've got
better things to do
with my time, all right?
- Fine, go.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
Goodbye, Nick!
Saturday it is!
[ Whistles ]
Get over here.
- Pay attention.
- Hey, Nick.
- Yeah?
- I got a cut
on my knee.
Okay, what do you got?
She had a guy over
to visit her this week,
a guy in a red corvette.
Well, all right,
darling.
That's good.
Keep up the good
work, okay?
Hey.
- Me?
- Yeah.
You going to see
Teresa berzak?
Yeah, I am.
You're not
her husband,
are you?
[ Chuckles ]
No, I'm her physician.
You're not one
of her contacts,
are you?
I'm afraid I don't
understand what--
don't worry, man.
I think we caught it
in the early stages.
She's probably gonna
tell you about it
right now anyhow.
See, it's very important,
getting in touch
with all her friends
in her intimate circle.
Have a good day, man.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
- Sure.
[ Carnival music playing ]
[ Singing "cielito lindo" ]
Hey, what's
happening, baby?
You sure is looking
fine tonight.
Whoo! Women like
you shouldn't be
left all alone
on a sweet night
like this.
But hey,
that's okay.
'Cause old Lionel's here
to make everything nice.
How about a bite
of my foot-long?
Hey, beat it, asshole.
I already got a boyfriend.
And a very lucky man
he is too, mama.
And I'm gone.
Man: Step right up
and test your strength.
Come on,
ring the bell,
win a prize.
[ Bell dings ]
And the winner:
Number 50.
All right, kids. Sorry,
better luck next time.
Man:
Step right up.
Three throws.
All right, young lady,
you show him.
Man:
Three tosses for $1.
Just $1.
Come on over here.
You, come on.
Hey, you.
Come on,
try your luck,
buddy.
Police officer.
Freeze!
Get out of the way!
- Move it! Move!
- Yo, man!
Get out of the way!
119 to central.
Send some
backup, would you?
5th and bonaventure.
- 10-4.
- Man: 10-4.
I'll call it in.
Man: B-5.
[ Chattering ]
N-44.
G-56.
[ Snoring ]
O-62.
O-74.
G-59.
Man:
Bless me, father,
for I have sinned.
You got that
right, ace.
Oh, shit.
A whole bag full.
O-48.
I-17.
G-45.
N-32.
Back off, pig!
- [ Gunshot ]
- [ All scream ]
Ladies, please!
This is a house
of god!
Preacher, tell this
man the ingredients
of mortal sin,
would you?
A serious matter,
sufficient reflection, and--
lose the gun,
or I'm gonna kill
this son-of-a-bitch.
- You hear me?
I'll do it!
- Go ahead.
God damn it, man.
I'm not kidding!
Neither am I.
You kill him,
I'll kill you.
Hey, wait a minute.
I got it.
I'll kill him.
I'll kill
the son-of-a-bitch.
Yeah, I'll kill him.
That's it.
I'll kill him,
you kill me.
Don't.
I'll do it.
- I will!
- [ All gasp ]
Hey, man, come on.
Let's kill some
more people.
There's lots
of people to kill
out there, man.
And then it'll just
be you and me.
Come on, man.
Shut up, man!
Shut the fuck up!
Come on, man!
We'll all be dead!
Man:
You crazy bastard!
Berzak:
Let's do it!
Let's die
right now, yeah!
- Man: You're crazy, man!
- Berzak: Come on, do it!
[ Grunts ]
Eh, fuck it.
- Woman: What?
- On the ground, asshole.
Right now!
Man:
Yeah!
Put your hands out
with your palms up.
Come on, do it.
Right foot over
the left.
Frank.
[ Chuckling ]
Oh my god.
You do make
one ugly broad.
Jesus, man,
I love being a cop.
[ Laughing ]
Man:
I'm really proud
of you guys.
That was a damn
good job.
Hey, come on.
It's 18-year-old
scotch.
Hey, I had
18-year-olds before.
Very sweet.
- This will
fuck you up.
- [ Knocks ]
[ Phone ringing ]
In the future,
I would appreciate it
if you would wait
for sufficient backup.
Kaminski,
the d.A. Wants US
to extradite boudreau.
- The hit man?
- Yeah.
As a matter of fact,
I want these two
to do it.
He got picked
up when he wasted
a pusher down south.
He wants to make a deal.
He said he'll trade
his employer
who he claims
is the source of all
the China white
coming into the city,
not the mention the new
influx of black tar.
Okay, so three guesses--
who is it?
Al carolini?
Enrique Escobar?
- Tai Charlie?
- Harry decosta.
Ah.
Come on, Nick.
Come on, get off
of that.
Hey, I know
it was decosta.
Harry decosta
is the chairman
of the united fund
and of the best friends
of the mayor, berzak.
So?
Not to mention
a major contributor
to the boy scouts
- and the philharmonic--
- hey, that was his shit
last night.
So was that airport
case last month.
- I guarantee it.
- Be that as it may,
you two leave for del mar
tomorrow morning, 9:00.
Get some rest.
- Larry: Why them though?
- I can't go to del mar.
Paul: I want undercover
officers, and these are
two of the best.
I want to make sure
that Charlie boudreau
stays alive to testify.
My mother lives
in del mar.
You think somebody's
gonna take a pop
at him, captain?
Yeah, it could happen.
Just make sure
it doesn't.
I haven't called
my mom in a month.
I'm a dead man.
Hey, I expect
more sympathy out
of you, frank.
[ Chuckling ]
Hey, speed man.
I don't want
to go unless--
honey, I'm home.
[ Rewinds, beeps ]
Woman:
Nicholas,
it's your mother.
I'm very upset
with you.
Nicholas,
are you there?
If you're there,
pick up the phone.
Don't monitor this phone,
Nicholas. Pick it up.
You haven't even--
[ Screeches ]
[ Beeps ]
Nicholas,
it's me again.
I'm sorry I got
angry, honey,
but after all,
when a son refuses
to call his mother,
I mean, there's
something very
wrong there.
Well, it's not
asking much.
I'm asking you
to call me and tell me
that you're fine,
that you're well,
that I love you,
and that I miss you
and that's all.
That's not a lot.
You can reverse
the charges.
I'll pay for
the collect call.
[ Beeps ]
I'm not a well person,
Nicholas.
[ Beeps ]
Frank:
Nick, it's frank.
I can't go
to del mar, man.
I just found out
they want US to fly.
I'm terrified
of flying.
You know flying scares
the hell out of me.
You know I'm scared
stiff of flying.
You gotta confront
your fears, frank.
I am quite calm.
Woman on tape:
You have no fear
of flying.
I have no fear
of flying.
You enjoy the sensation
of flight,
and you understand
that you are safe.
I enjoy the sensation
of flight,
and understand
that I am safe.
Berzak:
You're gonna
go down in flames!
You are, by far,
an asshole.
[ Laughing ]
Have you called
your mother to tell her
we're coming down?
Hmm?
Uh, not yet.
[ Laughs ]
Oh shit.
You are quite calm.
I am quite calm.
- Here, you keep
the change.
- Thanks.
- Thank you, sir.
- Sure.
You got something
for me?
Mr. Boudreau's mouthpiece
is dragging his feet,
and I won't be able
to let you have him
until tomorrow.
Hey, man, we gotta
be back tonight.
But Mr. Boudreau will
be here until tomorrow.
Oh, that's great.
What the hell are
we gonna do in del mar
until tomorrow?
I'm not seeing
my mother.
Did you call
my mom?
- [ Laughing ]
- You're in deep
shit, pal.
I haven't called her
in a month, man.
[ Buzzes ]
Woman: Coming.
So you come to town,
and I gotta hear it
from your partner?
- Hey--
- hey?
- How do you know
I'm not going out?
- Are you going out?
I never go out.
You know better.
Come in here.
I haven't seen
you in so long,
I forgot what
you look like.
I look like this, mom.
- You lost
weight, baby.
- No.
Yes, you're thinner.
Want a cup of coffee?
I just made
a fresh pot.
- Yeah.
- Oh, good.
So how long are you
staying this time, babe?
- I gotta leave
in the morning.
- What?
I gotta be back
in the morning.
Oh no.
I should have known.
Well, I still
get to see that
sweet face.
Ooh, I'm gonna
give you a niner.
Ooh, that was fun.
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah.
Frank sends
his love.
- Oh, he's
a sweetheart.
- Yeah.
I'll bet he saves
your life.
Not that often.
Want some banana cake?
- Yeah.
- I made it
fresh today.
How's Teresa?
Better off
without me.
Well, it's your
own fault, babe.
[ Chuckles ]
You should have
married decosta.
You spend more time
at his house
than you do
in your own.
I mean,
it's the truth.
I don't blame her.
Oh, thanks, mom.
You should have
gone to law school
like your brother.
- Hey, fuck lawyers!
- Nicholas berzak!
- I like being
a cop, all right?!
- So did your father!
Aw, shit.
It happens,
all right?
I just don't want it
to happen to you.
No sweat, mom.
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, yeah, great.
Jokes now, right?
Yeah, look, I don't
need this shit.
- No no no no,
Nicholas, no no.
- It's all right.
- It's cool, no problem.
- Come on, no, look,
no no no.
- What do you think
we've just been doing?
- We won't fight anymore.
I promise.
Okay?
Stay for dinner.
I'll make you
your favorite.
- Sloppy Joes?
- And fries.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
You're shitting me,
right?
Hey, I don't shit you.
Come on,
we'll go peel
the potatoes.
God, mom,
I love you.
I love you, baby.
Come on, boudreau.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- [ Both chuckling ]
- Yeah.
Bye, see ya.
You take care
of yourself. Bye.
[ Door shuts,
engine starts ]
I was gonna ask you
where the fuck
you've been.
- Hello, Charles.
- It's Hazeltine...
And berzak.
Christ almighty.
I'll never make it
back alive.
- How the hell
are you doing?
- I'm doing just fine.
Yeah, look,
just give me a tip,
all right?
What do you say
to the bitch when you
first see it? All right?
Woman on tape:
Your inward self
is balanced.
Frank:
My inward self
is balanced.
You have no fear
of flying.
I have no fear
of flying.
You have no fear
of flying.
I have no fear
of flying.
Berzak:
So Charlie,
who's pipelining
all the Chinese shit
and the black tar into L.A.?
Fuck you.
Come on, man.
Al carolini,
right?
Johnny ruffino?
- You guys are
narcotics cops.
- Yeah.
I am quite calm.
[ Chuckles ]
I am a dead man.
It's Harry decosta,
isn't it?
Fuck off.
- Hey, frank!
- [ Muttering ]
Berzak: Frank!
- Hey, man,
we've got trouble.
- [ Gunfire ]
What the hell
was that?
Everybody down!
Jesus, I am gonna
go down in flames!
Yeah.
You okay back there?
Shit. Landing gear.
Yee-haw!
Oh, shit!
I can't believe
this happened.
- You okay, frank?
- No, I'm not.
Shit!
Boudreau!
Boudreau, freeze!
- Come on, Charlie.
- [ Cow mooing ]
It's only
a matter of time.
Got that
son-of-a-bitch.
I saved your life,
young fellow.
You might have
saved my life,
but you ruined
my career, buddy.
Shit!
Call an ambulance!
Haul ass!
Charlie,
you're gonna be okay.
- Bullshit cop.
- Yeah.
Just tell me it was
Harry decosta, okay?
You know, I killed
a lot of guys with
a shotgun.
I always wondered
what it felt like.
It sucks!
Just tell me
it was Harry, man,
would you, please?
Shit.
Charlie?
Shit.
- God damn it!
- Old McDonald had
a shotgun.
- Shut up.
- I don't wanna hear any
of your bull, berzak.
Somebody tipped
off boudreau's
extradition.
I think you're
trying to cover up
for these two idiots.
Pending the investigation
of this matter,
I want these men
at desks.
Now get out
of my sight,
all of you.
Let's go.
[ Muttering ]
What?
I was just talking
to myself.
[ Horn playing ]
Frank:
Like that?
- Yeah, that
was great.
- Yeah?
But I'll see
you at the natural
food seminar?
- Okay, I'll be
looking for you.
- Great.
- Both: Bye.
- It's good to
see you.
Mmm mmm.
[ Sighs ]
- Berzak: Has it always
been like this for you?
- Since I was 10.
- Can't figure it out.
- I don't think about it.
What the fuck
is that shit?
Yogurt, yeast paste,
lecithin--
all the things you
ought to be eating.
Want some?
No way, I'm on
a low-mucus diet.
You know that.
- Yeah.
- I've been
thinking, frank.
It's decosta again,
isn't it?
No, it's not about
decosta again, frank.
I think we ought
to go after the guys
that hit boudreau.
Figure they're local.
Now how do you
figure that?
Because they're
working for decosta.
There's that
name again.
What, frank?
They made US look
real bad.
The entire squad thinks
we're screw-ups.
So now you wanna
screw up real big
to remove all
doubt, right?
No, I don't
wanna do that.
I'm just
an agile guy, frank.
I can get my foot
in my mouth.
I can even
work with my nose
to the grindstone,
but my ass doesn't
fit under a desk
- and neither does yours.
- No no no!
[ Knocks ]
Who is it?
[ Berzak with accent ]
What's happening, man?
Some brothers downtown told me
you got v.C.R.S for sale.
Get out of here, man.
You got the wrong house.
I'ma ignore you.
I got cash,
motherfucker.
I need 20 of them.
[ Squeals ]
[ Pounding ]
Put your hand
on your head.
Keep it there.
Hey, I was just
on the toilet thinking
about you all, man.
Ain't life a bitch?
Yeah, hiya, Casey.
All this yours,
brother?
Yeah, brother.
Well, see, I'm about
to get married.
You know how
everybody gives you
the same present?
- Oh yeah yeah.
- Oh yeah, that's right.
That's right.
What, you got
this $8,000 rolex
for Christmas, right?
Yeah, I got that
from my lady, man.
So how come
it's engraved,
"with love,
to Dr. Ira kettlebaum."
Check it out.
That's what the bitch
calls me, man.
Oh, it's like
a pet name, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[ High-pitched voice ]
"Stick it to me,
Dr. Kettlebaum."
- [ Grunts ] Right?
- Oh yeah.
- Berzak: Is she a real
squealer and shit?
- Yeah, she's a freak.
- A squealer, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hey, look.
You brothers want
something, right?
So why don't
you take yourselves
a v.C.R. Apiece?
You know better
than that, Casey.
We want a line on
the dudes that popped
Charles boudreau.
Hey, look, I ain't
got nothing to do
with that, man.
- That was downstate.
- We figured the guns
were local.
Yeah, and unless you
wanna produce receipts
on all this shit,
including the rolex...
You dig what
I'm saying?
Okay, man,
I'll look around
and see what I can do,
all right?
All right,
you do that.
Take it easy, Casey.
Take it easy,
big fella.
- We got to book
this shit in.
- I'm excited.
Hey, Nick, yo,
you know what
they're calling you
on the streets now?
- What's that?
- Ber-zerk.
They should
meet my mother.
Right, frank?
Yeah, she's probably
an ugly bitch.
You think
Casey will come up
with anything?
He better,
or I'll step on
his kettlebaum.
Oh, why did I eat
those extra jalapeños?
'Cause you got
an unconscious hostility
- towards your colon,
that's why.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
- It's 8:10.
I'm supposed
to be having dinner
with Teresa tonight.
When are you gonna
give up on that lady?
She deserves better.
I know it,
but I can't help it.
I'm in love with her.
- All right?
- All right, okay.
All right.
Thanks a lot.
Frank:
See you later.
I'm a cop.
Be cool.
Sit down.
[ Mutters ]
Carlo. Shit.
Don't breathe,
all right?
Hey, sorry, man.
It's Nick berzak.
We went
to high school, man.
We stole a trans am.
Oh yeah, Nick.
How you doing?
- Good, man.
How are you doing?
- You look good.
You got some
blood on you, man.
- You okay?
- It's your blood, Carlo.
Oh, wow,
I must be hurting
or something, huh?
- Yeah, man.
- Hey, I'm on
medication, Nick.
Yeah. Okay,
listen, Carl,
you just go home
- and dry out,
all right, man?
- Okay.
- And get some
ice on that lip.
- All right, man.
All right, man.
You're new around here.
What's your name?
- Malcolm.
- Malcolm.
- Yeah, what are you,
welcome wagon?
- Yeah.
Yeah?
I've seen you
oozing around
the street.
- What is your scam?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- I sell amway
products.
- [ Both chuckle ]
- Yeah.
I catch you dealing
any soap flakes in
this neighborhood,
- I will cripple you.
- I ain't afraid of no
jive-ass cop, man.
I know my rights.
[ Grunting ]
Malcolm, I am not
your normal jive-ass
cop, all right?
And around here,
you got no rights.
You must be ber-zerk.
You don't know
the half of it, baby.
Hey, Malcolm,
have a nice day.
- [ Knocks]
- Coming!
Hi, ready for dinner?
What happened?
Dinner at 8:00.
Don't you remember?
No, Nick,
I never said I'd go
to dinner with you.
- What happened?
- Why? You got
somebody here?
No, I don't.
What happened?
I just beat the shit
out of a guy I went
to school with
in high school.
I caught him
in the middle
of a buy,
and I fucked
him up real bad.
I can't do it again.
I can't. God.
God, why do you
have to make this
so difficult?
Don't do
this to me.
I don't wanna
do this to you.
Can't you understand
that I just need to take
care of myself now?
Yeah yeah yeah.
I'm sorry.
Are you gonna
be okay?
God damn it.
I get the feeling
I'm paying for a
lucky accident.
Hey, it wouldn't
have happened if
I wasn't there.
Let's just say
I motivated it, hmm?
Oh, by the way,
that cop who always
watches your house--
what's his name?
- Berzak.
- Right.
--He was one
of boudreau's escorts
out of del mar.
The way I hear it,
he's got a real
thing for you.
Now for a small fee
I could--
I don't bother
killing cops, pogue.
It's bad
for my reputation.
However, I do
have a transaction
this weekend.
Be nice
if he wasn't around.
Maybe a small
diversion?
A family crisis,
perhaps.
I'm running
a special.
Berzak.
[ Acoustic guitar playing ]
♪ I'm not feeling
too good myself. ♪
You know,
I cannot figure out
why it is every time
I talk to that woman,
I say the wrong thing.
Why is that?
You always shoot
your mouth off before
your brain's loaded.
That's why.
Berzak: Bingo.
Dr. Kettlebaum
approaches.
Okay, this is it.
I got a line on a guy.
His name is
Bobby sweet.
It seems he likes
to talk a lot when
he gets high.
He claims to know
the guy that did
Charlie b.
And where do we find
this Bobby sweet?
He works at
some mud palace--
gazzarri's.
Am I clear?
Am I off the hook now?
Depends on
Bobby sweet.
You can go now,
Dr. Kettlebaum.
- ♪ We're so glad
you made it... ♪
- God.
♪ We're so glad
you made it ♪
♪ and give me
some lovin' ♪
♪ give me
some lovin'. ♪
[ Trumpets ]
You can make
animals sick
with that shit.
You should cool out.
Hey, but how
about that?
Hey, listen,
do you have anymore
room on that bicycle?
Berzak:
Hey hey hey hey,
I've been working
on this a long
time, man.
I gotta be honest
with you, Nick.
I've got an
aversion to mud.
That's funny,
because it resembles
that health food crap
you've been scarfing.
Ain't you ever
made mud pies when
you were a kid?
- [ '80s music playing ]
- [ Crowd cheering ]
[ Woman shrieks ]
Nice ambiance.
Of course,
once the yuppies
discover this place,
it's gonna be swamped.
Wouldn't you like
to get in there
with them?
- You've got no respect
for the human body.
- Sure I do.
Would you gentlemen
like to be seated?
We're looking for
a man by the name
of Bobby sweet.
- You know him?
- Funny name.
I'd remember that one
if I ever heard it.
Maybe Bruce
the bartender
knows him.
Hi, speed.
How are they hanging?
Fine, thanks.
We're looking for
a guy by the name
of Bobby sweet.
- You know him?
- Take a hike.
We don't need cops
like you coming in here
and fucking it up.
This is just
a simple request, pal.
Do you know him?
You heard Bruce.
He asked you nice.
- Out.
- Listen, you
fucking eunuch.
Oh, shit!
Up the stairs, Nick!
Yeah, get up, babe.
Come on, ref.
Come on, hop in.
Hey, buddy,
no free looks, huh?
Slime face.
Come on out,
sweets.
Stop abusing
yourself, man.
Put down the smut.
Come on, Bobby.
All right.
Woman: That was Bob!
My god, he's killed
himself.
Hey hey, you can't
do this to me, man.
I got rights.
- Come on, come on.
- Hey, what is
this, man?
Riding around
with you all night.
You kinda stunk up
our car, pal.
We need a little
fresh air.
- Someplace quiet.
- Yeah, someplace
you can scream.
Bobby:
Oh, that's funny.
Some people told US
you like to talk when
you get high.
Are we high enough
yet, Bobby?
I don't know.
I swear, I don't know.
He'll never make
a good lawyer, Nick.
He can't lie for shit.
Come on, move it.
You can go back down.
All you gotta do is
tell US who killed
Charles boudreau.
All that shit
you've been mainlining
fucked up your
leg muscles,
didn't it?
Come on, move it.
Okay.
Oh man, Bobby.
You can see everything
from up here, man.
You can even
see the ground
from up here.
Wait.
Wait, come on.
- Bobby, I want you
to check this out
- don't push.
- Come here, man.
- Okay okay okay!
What do you think
of that shit, huh?
Bobby:
Oh my god.
Jesus Christ, oh god.
I wouldn't have
figured you'd be
the religious type.
- Most people are.
- Because we're so close
to god up here.
- Yeah.
- Oh god, man.
I just talked, man.
I just shoot my mouth.
Jesus Christ, I don't
even know anything.
I don't know shit,
man, really.
- Maybe these will
help you, Bobby.
- Oh god.
- I'm not gonna
put those on, man.
- [ Chuckling ]
- You can't make me.
- Sure we can.
Frank:
Don't worry, Bobby.
- Oh god, please.
Please, oh god.
- Frank: It retards hair loss.
It increases blood flow
to the brain, Bobby.
- How's your memory?
- Oh god.
I'm gonna throw up!
- Well, technically you'll
be throwing down, Bobby.
- Yeah.
- Oh god,
please, oh god.
- God's got an alibi.
Try somebody else, chief.
Hey, Nick, you think
maybe the boots are
a little too tight?
- Yeah.
- Pogue!
Terry pogue!
- [ Sobbing ]
- It worked.
It worked!
- I told you.
- That's right, frank.
I bet Bobby
can even remember
Mr. Pogue's address.
- Ain't that
right, Bobby?
- Oh, no.
No no.
No, yes.
Bunker-- bunker hill--
bunker hill condominiums
apartment complex.
- Amazing.
- 2608.
- Look at that.
- Okay, Bob, we'll
check it out.
No no,
wait wait wait
wait wait wait.
Aren't you gonna
let me go?
Well, look at it
this way, Bob,
by the time
we come back,
your complexion will
be all cleared up.
Yeah, and you'll have
a lot more hair.
- Hang in there, Bob.
- Wait!
No, wait wait!
No, please!
Don't leave me
up here!
Come on, guys!
Sparse,
but I like it.
[ Footsteps approaching ]
Who's there?!
- [ Rattling ]
- Who's there?
Who's there?!
Bobby.
Oh, Terry.
Oh, thank god.
Oh, man. I didn't tell
them anything, Terry.
I didn't tell them
shit, man, I swear.
They left me here.
You should have seen it.
I laughed right in
their faces, man.
I appreciate
that, Bobby.
Hey, do you think
that you could,
you know,
help me down?
Sure, Bobby.
Sure.
Oh, great, man.
Thanks.
[ Screaming ]
Oh my god!
- Oops.
- [ Thuds ]
So decosta represents
your father,
and you scarf all
of this junk food
to fulfill an oral
longing for your
mother's breast,
which incidentally,
is 70% fat.
Oh, that's
great, frank.
First, you ruin
food for me,
now you gotta
ruin tits.
- Oh shit.
- What?
Freeze!
Police!
Freeze!
I don't know why
I tell them to freeze.
They never freeze.
[ Tires screeching ]
[ Screams ]
He should have froze.
It's not like
we didn't tell
him, right?
Am I missing
something here?
Is it now
departmental policy
for detectives
to make up their
own assignments,
act on their
own authority?
They're acting on
my authority, Paul.
Oh, on your authority.
How nice.
I put them
on desks.
I ought to bust
all three of you
down to traffic.
Look at it
this way, captain.
We got the guy
who whacked boudreau
in the hospital
under 24-hour guard.
Now he can finger
decosta, of course.
Decosta again?
I'm sick and tired
of hearing about decosta.
You haven't got
a shred of evidence
to prove he even
kicks his dog.
Harry decosta is a decent,
upstanding citizen,
god damn it.
The doctor says
we can talk to pogue
tomorrow, Paul,
- then we'll
have our evidence.
- Oh, all right.
That's wonderful.
Then I want you to assign
two detectives
to go to the hospital
to take pogue's statement,
but not these two.
Berzak, Hazeltine,
this is the last break
you get from me.
You stay away
from the hospital
and off of this case.
Is that clear?
Out.
[ Muttering ]
I don't blame him.
- He knows what
he's talking about.
- What?
I was just
talking to myself.
Thanks for covering
for US, Larry.
I don't know
why I keep saving
your guys's asses.
Because in your heart,
you know we're right.
[ Phone ringing ]
Telephone, sir.
- Decosta.
- Man: I found him.
- He's alive
in the hospital.
- What hospital?
County general.
He broke a couple bones.
- I see.
- Want me to take
care of it?
No no, just do what
you normally do.
I'll take care of it.
[ Jazz playing ]
Very nice.
Mmm, smashing.
- Who is?
- You are.
- I am?
- You are.
I am smashing?
You are smashing.
You are smashing too.
- I am?
- You are.
[ Rings ]
This is memory Lane,
Herman.
Berzak:
Hey, Herman.
Nick berzak.
Hey, how are
you doing, Nick?
- Yeah.
- Can you get her
to the phone?
Yeah, don't tell her
who it is, man.
Sure.
Excuse me.
There's a call
for you.
Oh, thank you.
- Hello?
- Hello.
You know that gentleman
you're sitting with?
- Yes.
- Yeah, did he discuss
his sexual preferences
with you?
- Who is this?
- Look, that's not
important, baby.
Did the son of a bitch
discuss his sexual
preferences
- with you?
- No, why?
I don't know
why he does this to me.
I mean, well, I guess
it's because he gets some
kind of perverse thrill
out of toying
with my emotions.
It's probably
because he's a cop.
You know, he has
to flirt with women
to prove that he's a man.
You know,
woman-to-woman,
I feel so cheap
and so used.
[ Chuckles ]
Thank you.
- You faggot.
- What?
Berzak.
You're a shithead,
you know that?
I mean, just because
Teresa blows you off,
doesn't give you
the right to fuck up
my life, shithead.
Have I told
you recently what
an asshole you are?
Why don't you fill me
in on the details
- on the way
to the hospital?
- The hospital?
Nick, this is
goddamn idiotic.
You know what Ferris said.
- Hey, Ferris is a jerkoff.
- Well, be that as it may,
why can't we wait
until Ferris has his boys
question pogue tomorrow?
Ferris's boys
are jerkoffs.
[ Beeping ]
Woman over P.A.: Dr. Tanney
to secretarial station.
It's only
Mr. Pogue's
medication.
How are we doing,
Mr. Pogue?
How is he doing?
- Hey, Dr. Tanney.
- Tanney: Hi, speed.
- How are
they hanging?
- Cozy.
- Glad to hear it.
- What is that shit?
I guess everybody
knows how rusty
they're getting.
That is uncool.
Hi, guys.
- Nope.
- Hi, Nick, right?
- What are you
guys doing here?
- We're here to see pogue.
Nobody sees him.
We got orders.
Captain Ferris sent
US over personally.
How come lieutenant
kaminski told US
specifically
not to let
you guys in there,
especially if you said
you had orders from
captain Ferris?
Kaminski is
a bullshit artist,
all right?
Frank, tell them.
Four dodger tickets,
all right?
And two super
rib dinners at
argents, okay?
- You're not getting
in there, berzak.
- God damn it.
[ Pogue screams ]
Woman on P.A.:
Code blue, 12th
floor, stat.
- Code blue,
12th floor, stat.
- [ Flatlining ]
Oh shit.
- Visitors, Mendez,
rise and shine.
- I hate morgues.
That's him.
Joseph Mendez,
professional hit man,
- worked freelance.
- Didn't mind doing over
kids either.
- This guy was
a badass.
- Really?
He hasn't given me
a bit of trouble.
Yeah, well,
I guess we'd better
get going.
Really?
I was in the middle
of ordering lunch
before you guys
came up here.
You sure I can't
interest you guys
in anything?
- No, thanks
anyhow, man.
- All right.
Anybody else?
Just the one
pastrami then.
So what do
we do now?
What you do now, frank,
is you go fishing.
You're both
on vacation.
What are you
talking about?
I just spent an hour
in Ferris's office
saving your
asses again.
He was all ready
to suspend you both.
I finally
convinced him
it was just
battle fatigue.
You need
a little time off.
So okay, two weeks.
Take it.
You know what's
really weird, man?
Yeah, every time
we make a move,
somebody is
one step ahead of US.
Yeah-- Ferris.
That's calling it
pretty close, pal.
Where the fuck
are you going?
Malcolm.
Berzak:
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust, huh?
Oh man, you guys
ain't got no respect
for the dead.
All right, come on out
of there, Malcolm.
Come on.
Detective Hazeltine.
- Up against the wall.
Come on.
- Yes.
What have we got here?
A nice little toy, huh?
Yeah.
All right.
What have we got
here, Malcolm?
What, a little blow?
A lot of blow.
Hey, this is that--
this is that
black tar,
isn't it?
Yeah, I'm thinking
about getting into
the roofing business.
- What's this?
- What?
This shit.
What is it?
Actually,
that's my mother.
Malcolm:
Hey hey hey hey.
This don't look
like no police
station to me.
Frank: That's because
we're on vacation,
- and we've got all
the time in the world.
- You dudes are crazy.
Hold that
thought, baby.
So you gonna
rape me now
or what?
[ Chuckling ]
I wanna talk about
Harry decosta.
- All right?
- Feel free, man.
- Personally, I never
heard of the dude.
- Oh, is that right?
Then where have
you been scoring
all your black tar?
I forget.
Damn, you junkie's got
bad memories.
Oh, that's cool.
No, we got
people that remember
for you, Malcolm.
You see, the word
on the street
is that you are rapidly
becoming somebody's
top salesman.
Oh, Malcolm.
Shit.
That black tar's
good, isn't it?
You popping
that stuff three times
a day or what?
So where is
the next shipment
coming in?
Between your
mama's legs.
My mother?
That's a good one,
shithead.
There's nothing I like
better than a good joke
about my mother.
- Asshole.
- You're a dead man,
ber-zerk!
- Oh yeah?
- Everyone on the street's
talking about it.
On the homicide
hit parade,
you are number one
with a bullet, Jack!
The beauty of all this,
we don't even have to
lay a hand on him.
Look at him.
He's starting
to shake already.
- You look a little
pale, brother.
- Yeah.
And we got
lots of time,
right, frank?
We're on vacation.
Pig!
I want my lawyer!
No problem,
Malcolm.
Just tell US
about decosta.
Where did you
last meet him?
In bed with your mama.
Oh, that's right.
And she said
you were both lousy.
Yeah...
Nothing I like better
than a good mom joke.
Malcolm:
I've never gone
this long before, ever.
- [ Singing ]
- Stop it, stop!
♪ You are the one
who can make US all laugh ♪
♪ but doing that makes US
break out in tears... ♪
[ Screaming ]
Oh god, stop it!
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
Tomorrow-- the stuff's
coming in tomorrow.
Where?
Just get me well first.
[ Strums guitar ]
All right,
all right, all right,
all right, all right!
All I know--
listen,
the stuff comes
in through some
trucking warehouse
on the south side.
I swear, I don't
know the name of
the place, okay?
[ Groans ]
I swear.
[ Groans ]
Okay.
[ Moaning ]
Enjoy yourself,
Malcolm.
You dick.
Oh, you're a dead man,
just like pogue.
- What about pogue?
- Yeah, what about pogue?
Pogue--
what about pogue?
Decosta had
him iced,
just like he's gonna
have you iced.
But how do you know
it was decosta?
He talked
to his man,
and then he hired Mendez
to shut pogue up.
- What man?
- His man in
the department.
- His ears.
- That's bullshit.
You're lying.
Oh, no no.
It's the truth.
I swear.
- Who?!
- I don't know
his name!
All I know is
it's somebody big.
Just please--
okay, Malcolm.
It's all right, man.
You're off the hook.
Hey hey hey,
what about my stuff?
- Man, you promised!
- I sincerely hope
this little
consultation has taught
you a valuable lesson...
On the perils
of narcotics abuse.
Please.
[ Whimpers ]
[ Chimes ]
Hi there.
What do you want?
- I wanna talk to you.
- About what?
US.
God, Nick,
there's nothing
to talk about.
Hey, wait a minute.
Please?
What?
I'm thinking
about getting out.
[ Sighs ]
It seems I've heard
this before.
Have dinner with me.
I wanna talk
about it again,
seriously.
You can't talk
about anything
seriously.
Hey, I'm a jerk,
all right?
But a lovable jerk.
Hey, you're killing
my self-image here.
You really are.
Just dinner,
all right?
Please?
I refuse to eat
at El Maya.
That's not a problem.
A real restaurant
this time.
Okay, tablecloths,
waiters, champagne,
bathroom.
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah, I'm gonna
regret this.
What the hell?
Man:
Bring it back.
Go all the way forward.
And the crane.
Beautiful.
Class up.
Hai.
Thank you.
[ Tooting ]
[ Jazz playing ]
[ Honking ]
This man is serious.
How do you
like that shit,
speedball?
[ Brakes squeak ]
[ Crane whirring ]
[ Screams ]
Hmm, a.T.C.
You know,
Nicholas berzak,
sometimes you are
not such a jerk.
What?
Sometimes...
- God.
- [ Chuckles ]
I've got
a great idea.
Let's go back
to your place,
get naked,
and then screw
ourselves into
unconsciousness.
You're so romantic.
Couldn't you be
just a little
less direct?
Yeah, sure.
We'll go back
to your place,
- get naked...
- [ Laughing ]
...have some champagne
and some strawberries
and then screw
ourselves into
unconsciousness.
Oh god,
how could any woman resist
when approached like that?
Well, believe it
or not, some have.
I'm just kidding.
Actually, you are
the only woman I've
ever cared about
in my entire life.
God damn it.
It's the wrong
credit card.
- Listen, baby--
- you want me to
drive it up?
Yeah.
Just be a second.
[ Laughs ]
[ Screams ]
Teresa!
[ Beeping ]
- Nick, Nick.
- Frank.
Jesus Christ, man.
What happened?
I heard about Teresa.
Is she okay?
Yeah, she's gonna be okay.
What happened to you?
Two dudes in a semi
tried to squash me.
Nick, I just
heard what--
Jesus Christ, frank.
What happened to you?
What the hell
is going on here?
A couple of guys
tried to kill him
with a semi truck.
Somebody--
and I'm not saying
it's decosta, okay?
--Somebody's
after our asses.
Are you guys
getting close
to something here?
Yeah, death.
Larry, we need
to keep this really
quiet, all right?
There's a very big deal
going down tomorrow.
It's on the east side.
- Where on the east side?
- We'll find it.
- A.t.c. Transport.
- See?
A.t.c.?
Boy, there's a lot
of activity out there.
How we gonna know
where the deal's
going down?
- Check out the limo.
- What limo?
Berzak:
That one.
Frank:
I don't see
any limo.
You don't see
that limo?
- Frank: Oh, I see it.
Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- 30' long.
- Okay okay
okay okay okay.
- Jesus, frank.
Let's go
check it out.
Mm-mmm, no, you're
gonna start blowing
everybody away.
We need a low profile.
I'm going.
- You cut me
to the bone, frank.
- Right.
Just keep your eye
on the limo.
Yo!
[ Whistling ]
Shit, I can't see
the damn limo.
Hmm.
Come on,
move the goddamn
truck out of there.
No, the fucking
limo is gone.
Son of a bitch.
Frank, get in the car!
Why?
What happened?
The limo's gone!
Would you mind
telling me what
the hell's going on?
I think the limo's
in that fucking truck.
What the hell are
all the black-and-white
units doing here?
Must be our leak
in the department.
This is not
comfortable, gentlemen.
I'm in the same kind.
- Deals on wheels.
That's pretty slick.
- Yeah.
[ Siren wailing ]
Police, police!
Pull your vehicle
over to the right.
Pull your vehicle
over to the right,
and freeze.
Frank, I told you--
don't say freeze, man.
It only pisses them off.
I can't get
a shot off.
Berzak: Get in
the back, frank.
- What are you gonna do?
- Just get in the back.
All right, trust me.
Check's in the mail.
Okay, get ready,
frank!
Okay, you son
of a bitch!
Pull that truck over,
god damn it!
Now!
All right,
come on out of there,
you son of a bitch.
All right, get down
on the ground now!
Spread your legs out.
All right,
give me your hand.
Give me your hand.
Yeah, that's what
I thought.
Watch your head,
fighter.
10-4, good buddy.
Let's get on down
to shaky town.
You know how to drive
one of these things?
We'll find out.
- Oh, gross.
- [ Frank laughs ]
Hang on back there,
decosta.
♪ We're so glad
you made it ♪
♪ we're so glad
you made it. ♪
[ Honking ]
Man:
Move up, move up.
That's good, that's good.
Get those civilians
out of here.
- Frank.
- Let's go.
Come on,
sport, out.
You are completely
surrounded.
Place your weapons
at your feet.
Put your hands
behind your head.
- Man: Stand back.
- Man #2: I got it.
Drop the gun,
asshole!
Put your hands
behind your head!
Get down out
of the truck.
Let's go!
Move it!
Over there!
Lay down!
- Man: Hands
over your heads.
- Man #2: Move it, move it.
Man:
Spread 'em.
Frank: Well,
what do you know?
Tai Charlie!
We got tai Charlie!
Drop the bag,
Charlie.
Frank:
Hello, Arnie!
Come on down.
Come on, move it.
Move it.
Haul ass.
He did it to me
again, frank.
Oh, Nick,
give me a break.
Hey, the son of a bitch
isn't here, all right?
I'm gonna
have some coffee.
Want some coffee?
[ Laughing ]
Holy shit.
You guys always gotta make
a big splash, don't you?
- It's a nice
case though.
- Yeah.
- Congratulations, guys.
- Your black and white units
rolling on the warehouse--
what's that shit?
Nick, I swear to god,
Ferris told me
specifically--
yeah, uh-huh,
right.
We think Ferris
is the leak in
the department.
What?
[ Chuckles ]
Hi, speed.
- Where have you been?
- Working.
Did you get him?
I'm really
sorry, baby.
I didn't know
he'd hurt you.
Think I'd feel any better
if he hurt you?
Come here.
Oh, god, Nick,
when is all
this craziness
gonna be over?
I just want it
to be over.
Soon, baby.
Really soon.
Woman over P.A.:
Attention, please.
Visiting hours--
- Nicholas, Nicholas.
- Yeah, mom?
- When did you get here?
- Just now, but I've
got to go.
Where are you going
this time of night?
I got a little
unfinished business,
that's all.
I love you, mom.
I love you, baby.
[ Buzzes ]
Yes?
Once upon
a midnight dreary,
as I pondered
weak and weary.
Who is this?
It's the wind.
And nothing more,
only this.
Nothing more.
Manny, check
the main gate.
[ Groans ]
Yeah, quoth the raven,
asshole.
Hey hey hey
hey hey.
That's really good.
Right there.
Very slowly pull
your hands away
from the weapon.
Good.
Put your hands
behind your head now.
Interlace
your fingers.
Hey, doll,
do me a favor,
would you?
Take his piece,
thumb and forefinger.
Great, put it
right on my feet.
Now reach around
behind me and get
my cuffs.
Mmm.
Just the cuffs, baby.
- Okay, doofus,
hug the statue.
- Monte.
Monte.
Hug the statue, monte.
Yeah yeah.
- Got him?
- Yeah.
Shut him up.
Put your ankles
together, chief.
That's good.
Ooh, nice big ones, huh?
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- I'm not armed.
I can see that.
Wanna frisk me anyway?
Maybe some other time.
Where's
your sugar daddy?
- He's in bed.
- Uh-huh.
Follow me.
Okay.
Stay, monte.
What the fuck?
Yeah, what the fuck,
asshole?
Here we are, Harry.
Just you and me.
Nobody between US.
You're insane.
Yeah...
That's the rumor.
You won't shoot me.
I don't like you.
You can't shoot me.
You're a cop.
Have a nice day,
asshole.
Hey, what's the matter?
You don't answer your
phone anymore?
Huh?
I'm about
to be suspended
without pay, man.
You're lucky
decosta didn't file
criminal charges.
What, you're telling
me how lucky I am?
Fuck you.
Whoa.
I just talked to Teresa.
She'd like to see you.
Oh, what do
I say to her?
"Hey, baby, I'm sorry
I almost got you killed."
She was right
to throw me out.
I'm just bad news
for everybody.
So what are
you gonna do?
Just walk away?
- Yeah, maybe.
- What about decosta?
He's clean, frank.
Haven't you heard?
Why don't
you stopthis?
Oh, man, why don't
you just go to hell?
Hey, wait a minute, man.
For four years
you've been bugging
the shit out of me
about decosta.
You hammered
my love life,
you took away
my weekends,
you've been
a fucking pain
in the ass, Nick,
but I hung in
there with you
because you're my friend.
We're partners.
Hey man, nobody
gives a shit,
all right?
So why the fuck
should I?
Because it's more
than just decosta.
We were set up by one
of our own guys.
You gonna walk away
from that too?
They fuckedus, Nick.
And I think we ought
to oblige them
and return the favor.
Miranda Sullivan,
American civil
liberties union.
I'd like to see
the transfer authorization
on a suspect--
- kettlebaum, ira.
- Yes, ma'am.
Yes ma'am,
we don't have anybody
under that name.
Can you tell me
how it's spelled?
Just like it sounds.
Casey: Hey, man,
I'll knock you
on your ass!
Hey, just get over
there and shut up.
We need the keys
to the evidence room.
You have to
sign in first.
Hey, berzak,
I heard you got
suspended.
That's a bunch
of shit, man.
- The captain let me off.
- Okay, officer.
You're interrupting me,
you know?
Just a moment, ma'am.
Just a moment.
I'm gonna need
your guys's names,
- the suspect's--
- ow! Son of a bitch.
He bit me.
Can we do one thing
at a time, please?
It's spelled
k-e-t-t-l-e-b-a-u-m.
Casey:
Hey, get off
of my Booty, man!
Is this standard
operating procedure
around here?
Casey:
Ow, stop it, man!
Can we at least
dump the evidence?
I'll take care
of the paperwork
myself later, okay?
- Thanks, catch.
- I'm counting
to three.
- One-two-three.
- Berzak: All right,
now what?
- Casey:
I'm counting to 10.
- All right, count to 10.
- Officer, could you
get back here, please?
- One, two, three...
Pay attention.
I was here first.
- Please do your duty.
- Four, four and a half.
Just get the lead
out, Sonny, and get
me kettlebaum.
Well, can you do it?
I thought you
guys said I was off
the hook, remember?
- We lied.
- Yeah, don't you know
you can't trust a cop?
Yo, man, you dragged me
out of bed in the middle
of the night,
no jacket,
no drawers on,
kicking my ass.
Cut the crap.
Can you do it or not?
Of course
I can do it.
I can steal your mama.
I'm the best.
Then shut up
and get started.
Yeah, and scream
every now and then.
- For what?
- So nobody gets
suspicious, asshole.
Yo man, tell this
white boy brothers ain't
into that shit no more.
I'm just too cool.
I'm sorry.
Okay, mister,
I'll tell you what:
You scream every
now and then, or I'll
make you scream.
[ Screaming ]
Fuck you, man.
[ Screaming ]
I said nettlebaum,
- with an "n."
- You said kettlebaum.
Don't you blame
your mistakes
on me, Sonny.
[ Screams ]
Shit.
- Oh, shit!
- You can get
in there, huh?
Yeah, we can
get in here.
Hey, look, man,
I don't know what
you guys are into,
but let me in,
all right?
- Shut up.
- Just open the box.
- Hey hey hey.
- I'm just checking
it out, man.
- Open the box.
- I never been nowhere
like this before.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- After you.
- After you.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
We could work
together, man.
Me and you.
We decided
to let him off
with a warning.
[ Phone ringing ]
Monte!
Hello?
The cops don't have
the cash no more.
Who is this?
Tai Charlie.
I'm not giving the cash
to no one else.
No one else
but you, Harry.
You're fucking with me,
you're dead.
So I read about you.
That was
yesterday's news.
Our man downtown
has more pull than
we thought.
I got it all back.
Meet me.
When and where?
2:00 at the old
athletic club
in long beach.
Monte, call our
friend downtown.
Narcotics, please.
Yeah, at the old
athletic club in
long beach.
You know it?
It's monte.
You know it?
He said if you want
to pick up your end,
be there at 2:00 A.M.
got it?
Decosta:
What have
you got, tai?
So you weren't
kidding.
Ferris, what are
you doing here?
Berzak:
Freeze, police!
Berzak, Hazeltine?
What the hell?
What's going
on here?
- Frank: We got
you mothers cold.
- You what?
Don't play dumb,
asshole.
They're not
playing dumb, Nick.
Drop the gun.
Drop the gun!
How could you
let this happen,
kaminski?
Just shut up, Harry.
Jesus Christ.
Kaminski?
- I'm sorry, Nick.
- What about US,
Larry?
You two get to die
heroic deaths,
shooting it out
with a big-time
drug smuggler
and Ferris
the dirty cop.
[ Chuckling ]
I'm sorry.
I really liked
you guys.
Hold it, Charlie.
Hold it right there.
Nick!
Frank.
No no no.
No no no no, man, no.
I'm showing
the man the view.
Oh god, I am
so glad decosta's
behind bars.
I don't have
to hear your mouth
about decosta anymore.
I am so happy.
Outside of breaking
every rule in the book,
damn near getting
me killed,
booze on the job,
you guys cracked
a pretty big egg.
Well, thank you, sir.
- However...
- Every time.
...your tactics
are lousy.
If kaminski hadn't folded
and spilled his guts,
we still wouldn't have
a thing on decosta.
I'm sorry, sir.
You guys are
good cops.
Well done.
Well, thank you, sir.
Thanks, captain.
Nice stuff.
I've gotta give up
this business.
This is--
- what?
- I was just talking
to myself, sir.
- Have a nice
day, captain.
- Yes.
I always liked him.
Nick, you are
so full of it.
I swear.
Hey, I did.
Besides that,
I figured he was clean
the whole time.
[ Laughing ]
Bullshit bullshit.
Oh, excuse me.
- After you. Jesus.
- Jesus.
You know,
I'm gonna miss
you, speed.
Hey man,
I keep trying
to tell you.
Private investigation,
all right?
You got your own hours.
You're your own boss.
It's very happening.
You're so
full of it,
I swear.
Can't bullshit
a bullshitter,
can I?
- Nope.
- All right.
I'll see you later.
Take care of yourself.
Okay, man.
Come on, speed!
Lake arrowhead's
gonna dry up.
I'll see you
later, Teresa.
- Have a nice time.
- See you, man.
- Both of you.
- Okay, baby.
Frank: Bye.
Hi, darling.
Let's get
out of here.
Mrs. Berzak over phone:
Nicholas, it's your mother.
Listen, I don't
understand why you think
I'm out of my mind
if I wanna
go to arrowhead
with you and Teresa.
[ Beeps ]
Nicholas, it's me again.
I'm sorry I got angry.
But when a son
can't talk to his
own mother,
I don't know what to--
[ Squeaks ]
Nicholas, I am not
a well woman.
[ Jazz playing ]