Now and Then: From Frosh to Seniors (1999) - full transcript

(upbeat music)

- [Voiceover] Hi.

- Hi!

- [Voiceover] Thanks a lot.

- [Voiceover] You've come to
a free marketplace of ideas.

The freest we can make.

Because we're so
devoted to that freedom

we don't control the flow.

That means you have to
be careful evaluators.

Tolerate and examine
the unfamiliar

but be awake to ulterior motive



and resist those who prosper.

Remember fondly that the task
of those who teach you here

is not to give you their
ideas or their values

but to give you the capacity
and the intellectual tools

to choose your own.

Welcome to Stanford.

(applauding)

- Beautiful.

Looks like home for a year.

We're ready to go.

- [Voiceover] I think you
walked past it, Cheng.

(laughting)

- Really?

- [Voiceover] What's
your listing? John?



- 116.

Wait a minute.

Oh, I get it.

It's numbered, I was
looking down this way.

I mean is this
going to be on film?

I look like the stupid freshman.

- I'm living with
someone from Canada.

Canada, I've never met
anyone from Canada before.

Oh, she's got a stereo!

- Hi, I think I'm your
daughter's roommate.

- Hi.

- I'm Sarah.

- Ken

- Nice to meet you.

- Yeah, nice to meet you.

- Mom?

- [Voiceover] Yes.

- Now what?

- In the closet so I
can get better, yeah.

- Wait, there are eight
girls on the floor,

that means we have, and
we have four showers.

That's a very good ratio.

- He's never been
away from home.

- You've got to face the fact.

Growing up.

- I gotta do that
sometime, I guess.

- I know he'll be
able to handle it but,

still.

- Lastly to the parents,
I would like to say

that your children
will not be overlooked

or shoved aside.

You are leaving your
children in good, strong,

and caring hands.

Stanford welcomes them.

- I guess the hardest
thing about this day

is your children
are taking a step

that's going to mean
they're no longer children.

And now is the time
traditionally when we say,

you know, thank you very
much and it's time to go.

(laughing)

Nobody's moving.

- Bye!

- Goodbye!

- Have a nice life!

- [Voiceover] Nice meeting you.

(laughing)

- Are you Methodist?

- Yeah.

- Are your parents Methodist?

- They are.

- Now that puts it right there.

I mean, people are friendly.

You ask somebody who's Muslim

generally it's like because
their parents are Muslim.

It's just what you're brought up

and what your conditioned to do.

- No, no, no.

- And like, the reason
why I am this way is

because my parents have
never like, given me

any religious instruction.

I think they're kind of
Buddhist but not really.

There is no Buddhist temple
in the center of Ohio.

(laughting)

- [Voiceover] Would
you be offended

if I were to call
you a girl now?

Or refer to you as a
girl, yes, would you?

You would?

- [Voiceover] Guys is
like a nice general term

there's no equivalent
of the word--

- Yes there is, gals, gals!

Ladies, gals!

- [Voiceover] No.

- Are you offended by that?

- [Voiceover] Yeah.

- Why?

- Because the whole,
there's a whole,

I mean, history around ladies.

It's a social
conduct kind of term.

I mean, your mother
always told you

to act like a lady you know?

- [Voiceover] Maybe not you.

- You could always say a little
girl could be a lady, right?

- I've, such major
hangups, like,

I really, it's deep in
my head and in my heart,

and in every part of me

that like, having sex and
talking about sex is wrong.

It's just wrong.

What do you feel?

- Well, I don't
think that there's

really anything all that wrong.

I mean I just, as far as I'm
concerned it's human nature.

There's nothing wrong with that.

- I've just, I've lived
in like, a strange world.

I lived in an upper
class neighborhood

where everyone was white

and then like, I don't know.

A lot of people are like,

Brandi's like, I don't
know, they call me names

and everything because...

- [Voiceover] Yeah because...

- I don't know they say
I'm black on the outside

but white in the middle
and all this stuff.

And I only went out
with like, white guys.

Oh my God, did I not get
enough flack for that?

Oh my God, it was the
most annoying thing.

God, she thinks she's
white, she isn't.

I don't know it's really
just a weird situation.

But, so, I've never really
like, had black friends.

It's really weird.

- I mean just, like, I just
think if people were religious

because they're like,
they're afraid to accept,

you know they want a
reason for everything.

And there isn't,
life is a big joke.

I mean, there's no
reason for anything.

- That's a cop out.

- Dream.

No it's not even a dream,
it just doesn't even exist.

- Oh.

That's 'cause
we're talking about

- There's just only one
thing everybody can accept.

This is the religion that
everybody can accept.

Do what you want.

But try not to
hurt other people.

That's the only thing
that everybody can accept

as being morally correct.

That's John Stuart
Mill, my messiah.

- Gals is better than ladies?

Would you refer
to us as say, men?

- [voiceover] How 'bout a babe.

- How about like, a chick?

- No because I
want to understand

why you wouldn't
just call me a woman?

- Okay, I don't have a problem
with calling you a woman.

I just, I don't
call girls, girls.

- Last year I asked my
mother some questions

and she freaked out.

She didn't just freak out,

she said, I can't
deal with this now.

I can't deal with this.

- Oh no!

- And then next, no,
no, the next day,

she came back with a list.

- Oh shit!

- Number one was say no.

Like, underlined three times.

(laughing)

You guys think I'm
kidding about this?

- I've always accepted it.

I've never really
thought twice about it.

It was okay, I swing both ways.

You know, before I
knew any terms for it,

I knew that, you know,
back in kindergarten,

you know, and first grade,
you know, playing cooties.

You know, it was just as much
fun to be chased by the boys

as chasing the girls.

- Wow, I don't know, this
is so weird and so new.

I don't even know
what to say anymore.

- I don't think we're
in Connecticut anymore.

- God, I totally, wow.

How did you end up like,
finding, like, a boyfriend?

- It's not all that
difficult, at least,

not where I come from, you know?

It's really not
all that difficult.

- I don't know, I don't under...

- How did you find a boyfriend?

- It's just someone I went to
school with for a long time

and I have a long history with.

- Well there you go.

It's not all that
different, you know?

- Everyone, wow, this is the
most open I've ever been.

In my life, I think.

(upbeat music)

- I'm 18 years old, I've
never been away from home

and I have to take a
place 2500 miles away.

And I'm sure I'll
be all right though.

Everybody told me the first
20 minutes are the worst

and I've passed that all right.

- No gym class every day.

- No!

- No, well actually, no
pledge of allegiance...

- You had to do the pledge?

Oh, that's horrible

- During homeroom, so
if we want to do that,

it's on our own now.

- They're going to bring
back prayer at my school.

- Yeah, that's...

- Just a few
administrative chores

that need tending to.

- Here's the experiment.

The fact of the war
made the establishment

of democratic governments.

- The writer begins
with the senses.

(foreign language)

- Current fads.

See it as what we might
call a pre-modern version

of post-modern
deconstructionism.

(laughing)

- [Voiceover] Wow, I'm
definitely the dumbest one here.

- [Voiceover] Three meals
a day would make me vomit.

That would be disgusting.

- Ready?

- Cheers.

Wait, okay, one, two, three.

(laughing)

- Okay, I know a girl with a
really good body and cute face,

but this picture's pretty awful.

- Well then call her then,
don't even show me a picture,

I'll trust that.

- But you know, see,
because I don't know, face.

I'm trying to think.

I don't know anybody else.

- [Voiceover] Would
you go out with her?

- Lilly, yeah I'd
go out with her.

- On a real date.

As in kiss her good night.

Would you be seen
in public with her?

- Yeah.

Lilly.

- Last name?

- I don't know.

- Get to know the
girl, become a friend.

Ask her out on a friendly date.

Don't call her all time
'cause then you'll just

scare her away.

Call her until the point,
when it comes to the point

when she starts
returning your calls.

- When is that point?

When that point happens,
what do you know?

- Then you know that
there's definitely,

that your chasing has
gotten you somewhere.

You haven't exactly
captured it yet

'cause it's a girl
not to be captured,

you know, but what I'm...

But it's just, you know,
that you've gotten,

you finally have
gotten some feedback

and she's maybe
chasing you, now, too.

- First of all there's that
brain in a penis thing.

Which I think is a major,
major thing with guys.

Then there's...

I don't know what
comes after that.

I think that's pretty much it.

- You know, well, I mean, I
say it really doesn't matter

but if I saw a really,
really fine black woman

dating a white guy, I'd be
a little upset, I'd say.

- [Voiceover] Why?

- I don't know, I,
upset's a strong word

but I don't know,
date for the person,

and then, but I think
marriage is a different story.

You know.

- This girl asked me, I went
somewhere, I think to a party

or something, and she goes, oh,

were there any fine
white guys there?

Like she can't go out with
a black guy or something.

Or no, this is the one
I can not stand is,

oh, he looks good
for a black guy.

Like black guys are
like, ugly or something.

I cannot stand, oh, my gosh,
that is so offensive to me.

(upbeat music)

- [Voiceover] Fire it down!

- Five!

Four, three, two, one!

Drink!

- [Voiceover] I can't...

- Five, four, three, two!

- [Voiceover] What'd she say?

- She's all, oh, my God,
I am so hot for you.

(mixed chatter)

- Did she really?

- Go downstairs,
she's downstairs.

(ambient music)

- Gotta ask her, come on.

- It can't be a total win
or loss there probably.

- [Voiceover] Before
she goes to sleep.

- I told you I can't
get 'em started though,

I'll never see my room.

It's that old like,
red handkerchief thing,

you know?

I can't, if I get
Ethan started, like,

with women and
everything like that,

then I don't have no
place to sleep, so.

- [Voiceover] Bro, let's
throw a party this weekend.

- [Voiceover] Want
me to read it?

- [Voiceover] Absolutely.

- I hope we're still
on for tomorrow night,

I'd love to be with you,
it'd be the highlight

of my day, Ethan.

I don't know where
he got this from

'cause he's gonna get ridden
for it once he gets back.

Everyone in the dorm.

- When your mom's like, on
crack, that's pretty bad.

Couldn't concentrate anymore.

So, I try to concentrate
through an hour of working,

and I don't know if I made
it or not, but that...

- [Voiceover] Where is your mom?

- I don't know.

- Is she still on drugs?

- I don't know.

(mumbling)

She was, maybe still is, like,

majorly addicted to crack.

But she's been doing
that shit since like,

I think she started when I
was 13, that's a long time

to be doing something like that.

All day, all night, all day,
all night, all day, all night.

Yeah.

- [Voiceover] Is
she an odd boggling?

- No, no, this is, I haven't,

I haven't seen her in like...

How old am I, three years,
two and a half years.

- And she hasn't, why
hasn't she contacted you?

- She doesn't know where I am.

I mean, she knows like,
the number of where I was

in Dallas, but
that number's gone

'cause my dad
moved, and he like,

doesn't like her at all.

I think that might
have been why...

- I don't think that's right,
how did they even find...

- They weren't married.

- They weren't?

- No, she's married to
my brother's dad still.

- Your dad and then your
mom were never married?

You're kidding.

Your mom was married
to another guy when...

- [Voiceover] She
fucked my dad, yeah.

- Well, I didn't wanna
know, you blared that, so.

- Well, that's what happened.

So, I wonder if she
stopped, I wonder if she...

Gained any weight,
wonder if she has a job,

I wonder what she's doing.

I wonder if she thinks about me.

(upbeat music)

- [Voiceover] Hello.

- Hi Jane, how are you?

- [Voiceover] Good, how are you?

- I'm doing fine.

So, what are you gonna write on?

- [Voiceover] I was
gonna write on pray,

the images of women.

- Okay.

- And I was gonna write
on Christine Noo-Pee-Sawn,

and Chaw-Ser.

But I don't know,
I'm kind of confused.

Well, I don't know, I was
gonna ask you about this.

I wanted to take
different types of love

for each character,
using chapters

two, three, four, and
a little bit of six.

Like, I outlined like,
different sections

that talk about like,
how he, his like,

like, basically him
being slowed down by

An-Kee-Sis, hat's
his dad, right?

- Debbie, you're blathering.

Can I start repeating that?

Why does he commit sin?

- 'Cause he's evil, 'cause,
not just because he's a man,

I don't...

What do you mean?

- Let's talk about,
for instance,

the woman down in Naples,
and the story event

that I knew, okay, what
sort of bad consequences

happened to the hooker
down there in Naples

because she's, you
know, flim flam,

this poor country bumpkin?

- What happens to her?

She...

What did happen?

I forgot now.

- You know why you can't
figure anything bad

that happened to her?

Nothing bad happens to her.

Okay?

Now, that's interesting,
just suppose Dante

would have written that story.

- I'm so confused.

I'm so confused.

- I mean, I was smart
for high school,

for my high school.

Maybe not even smart,
maybe just a hard worker.

We'll find out.

(contemplative music)

- [Voiceover] Yeah, I reached
my academic peak in like,

fifth grade.

- [Voiceover] My dad stressed
education in such a major way,

which was, well, he
just always told me,

work hard and what
you want is yours.

Like, even if the system
is making you work harder

than certain other
people, if you work hard,

you get what you want.

- [Voiceover] I'm losing
my discipline fast.

It's just, there's
so many things to do.

Things that are,
even where you get

immediate, instant
gratification,

which I don't exactly
get from right now.

- Basically...

Scrambling for an essay.

- [Voiceover] You
having trouble?

- Yeah.

- [Voiceover] 'Cause
the question says,

wait, what does the
question say again?

- What extent do humans have...

A power to order their lives?

- [Voiceover] What's
it say after that?

- Discuss.

- [Voiceover] Why the
fuck are we reading,

this asshole is always wrong.

I just, I think that if
Aristotle were black,

we wouldn't be reading it.

Especially since
he's always wrong.

Or if he were a
woman, I don't think

we'd be reading.

Especially since
he's always wrong.

(laughing)

- [Voiceover] What is that?

- I don't know.

- [Voiceover] Break it, great.

(mixed chatter)

- How do I turn it off?

- [Voiceover] Just press the...

- [Voiceover] Let's
just trim these margins.

See?

We'll just do a half an
inch, it's not noticeable.

- [Voiceover] That is...

- [Voiceover] Ah, come on.

Oh, yeah.

Four pages.

- [Voiceover] How's it going?

- Well, I've run up
against this big wall

for some reason, I haven't
been able to do much

in the last hour or so.

(machine printing)

- We have to write 10 papers.

Yeah.

- At least you don't
have to do 'em.

(birds squawking)

(upbeat music)

- Well, like, I was thinking
he can't give me an F

because I wrote, right?

Right, there's like
pages filled up,

so he couldn't give me an F.

- [Voiceover] When
do you turn it in?

- I don't know, when
we go there tonight,

I guess we're gonna
finish it and see.

Well, there is just
any way I can like,

slip it under his
door or something.

(contemplative music)

Good.

(heart beating)

(upbeat music)

(cheering)

- A lot of my social life is
based outside of the dorm.

You know, there is certainly
a very tight community here,

or at least, I can
see one developing.

But for, you know,
for me personally,

having friends that
are rural in ID

is sort of a new
experience, actually.

I have a tendency to
forget that there are a lot

of other places
besides the city, LA,

Seattle, New York.

You know, there are
a lot of other people

from a lot of different places

with a lot of
different attitudes.

You know, I don't even
really think about it,

I go and I do what I do,
and if it shocks people,

I guess it shocks
people, you know?

I've got other things
to worry about.

Exciting night here
back at the ranch.

- Of course.

I actually might watch
the score play volleyball.

My rural team, they lost.

Then it went to pipe
12 people in the chest,

and the forerunner went
to Jack in the Box,

so you know, just general
college kid craziness,

you know what I'm saying?

- It really doesn't
matter to me, like,

people like, say that, you know,

what's it like
being around Nick?

And I really don't
care, you know?

'Cause I mean, I may
think it's wrong,

but you know, it
doesn't seem right,

but I mean, it still
doesn't bother me.

- How would you feel if
he brought home, like,

a gay friend that, does
that make you uncomfortable?

- [Voiceover] I am
really uncomfortable.

- Yeah.

- [Voiceover] I don't
think he'd get that.

- Say he somehow at least,
leave a note on the door,

like, don't come in,
or something like that.

- He hasn't talked about that?

- That's kinda
just the same thing

as if you brought, if, you know,

if JD brought home his
girlfriend or something.

But just having a girl is much
more natural to deal with.

I mean, if Jason had
his girlfriend here,

it'd be easy for
everyone to be like,

oh, Jason, your
girlfriend's pretty cute,

and be like, all
right, Jason, but like,

if Nick brought
back a guy, like,

people wouldn't wanna, I mean,

you wouldn't know what to
say, you would be like,

Nick, that's a pretty
cute guy you got.

I mean, that would
be really, like,

I mean, I don't Know, it'd
be really uncomfortable,

you just, no one
would talk about it.

Seems to be a little more
unnatural situation, obviously.

- [Voiceover] Little tenser.

- Yeah.

- [Voiceover] I think.

(upbeat music)

(yelling)

- [Voiceover] How
could they do that?

- Hey, that's not PC, man.

- Huh?

- That's not PC.

- What, this isn't?

- Yeah, you crushed it.

- I mean, the only motivation
I could see them having

is for attention, I
mean, why else would you

wanna do that, I can't, I
can't figure it out, so.

- I don't know, it's
really upsetting me.

For you to Berkeley here.

- If those people
wanna go do that,

they can go do it, that's fine.

I just...

I guess I don't think it should
be in the current is all.

- You wouldn't be willing
to say that it should be

a white man and a white
woman on the front

because most of the people
there were white men

and white women, right?

You wouldn't be
willing to say that.

Yeah, so, it's, I mean,
it's the same kinda,

it's the same kind of thing.

- [Voiceover] He
is so homophobic.

He is.

- It's so scary.

He said, and I quote, he said,

I can't believe this to
us, the general public.

They shouldn't
have put on there,

it's not the majority.

What else was he saying?

He was saying that there
are people on this picture,

people on the front page
who aren't like him,

and hence, it
shouldn't be there.

That's so...

That's so dark.

(laughing)

That really is.

- He said that?

I gotta have a
word with him, man,

I gotta hear it from,
I can't believe that.

- [Voiceover] Makes me so mad.

- And then
homosexuals that night

were essentially a minority,
just like she is a minority

because she's black.

And she was just
mad because you said

they're the minority, so they
shouldn't be representing

the whole group on
the front, you know?

I don't know, just
because people

aren't comfortable
with it doesn't mean

it doesn't exist.

- What it mostly
comes down to is that,

personally, I'm insecure.

- [Voiceover] Yeah, but if a
lot of people are insecure,

what's gonna change that?

I mean, what's gonna
improve the situation?

I think that's a
definite part of,

you know, American
culture that, I mean,

people don't always
like to, you know,

face up to it or
whatever, or be around,

but it doesn't mean it
doesn't exist, you know?

- You're right, you're
absolutely right,
what am I gonna,

you're absolutely right.

You did it, Ame.

Is that what you wanna hear?

- [Voiceover] No.

No.

- I don't know what to say.

- Well, what do you think?

I mean, tell me what
you think, you said

you don't like it.

- Yeah.

But that's wrong to think that.

(choral chanting music)

- [Congregation] We believe
in one holy Catholic

and Apostolic church.

We acknowledge one baptism
for the forgiveness of sins.

- I was in my own church, and
I was reading this bulletin,

and it was about
like, homosexuality,

and it was like,
and it defined it,

like, it was right
there, it's like,

homosexuality is an
abnormal form of behavior.

And I was like, what?

You know, I'm like,
and so, I don't know.

But I don't know why I'm
still a Catholic, you know?

Like, with it's like, you
know, view on abortion,

and the whole hierarchy
of the church, and,

when only men can be
priests, and only,

I mean, I remember
being a little kid,

and like, I was
really disillusioned

'cause I was all into, like,
I liked going to church,

and you know, I was all into it.

And I wanted to be an altar boy.

You know, and I went
up, and I asked my mom,

like, I wanna be an altar boy,

and my mom's like, you
can't be an altar boy.

And I was like, why not?

And she couldn't really
explain to me a good reason,

so she made me, she arranged
this special meeting

between me and the
deacon to discuss why

I couldn't be an altar boy.

And this like, and I don't know,

I was always really
jealous, I was like,

wait, why can they do
it, and I can't do it?

(upbeat music)

I'm starting to realize that
I have more of a say in like,

whether I stay in the
church or whether I don't.

But I think for me to
really feel secure away from

the church, and the traditions
that I've had there,

I would have to find
something to replace it,

and I really haven't
found anything yet.

- For me, it's not
like we're all,

Asians are superior, and
I don't wanna hang out

with anybody else, but
the thing is is there are

a lot of like, common
experiences people, like,

a lot of us can relate with.

Strict parents.

Like, living in a
foreign culture at home.

Being teased at in
elementary school,

that's just that kind of idea.

Do you go out,
like, with you know,

like, Asian girls and all
that, or do you like...

- Okay, put me on the spot.

Okay, I guess I generally
tend towards Caucasian girls.

- Really?

- That's right,
you're from Kansas.

Hey, I was born in
Kansas, it's okay.

It's not like, what it
would like, seem to be.

It's like, partly your
parents, and where you grow up.

You're gonna marry
a nice Chinese girl.

- Yeah, I got that a lot, too.

- [Voiceover] This was...

- I feel, you know, and like,

just wanna be with
somebody that can relate.

- Yeah, but I personally
think I'd be able to relate,

well, yeah, they're
cute, but saying that,

I think I'd be able
to relate more with a,

well, I don't know,
it's just that as I'm

almost pure American, you know,

and my attitudes and
such, I don't really see

a whole lot of traditional
Korean values in myself.

And so, I can't
really relate to that.

And so, I generally
tend to relate better

with Caucasian girls.

- I think I have some
Chinese values, yeah.

I think so.

But it's like, my
parents are like...

(mumbling)

The Chinese, Koreans, and
Japanese, that's okay for me,

like, that's okay.

I think they tolerate
white people.

They could accept me marrying
somebody that was like,

Caucasian, but she'd
have to come from like,

a very conservative family.

- [Voiceover] How do you
feel about your first date

at Stanford?

- My first date,
well, it's pretty sad

'cause it's totally set up.

So, that's not quite
an achievement,

but I guess technically,
it's still a date, yeah.

But it's like, I mean,
I've never had like,

this like, totally
arranged for me like this.

- It sounds good to your date.

Totally surprised.

- Is it like, Connie Chung
or something like that?

Connie Chung, yes, she's
left Maury Povich for me.

Man.

- Okay, is she cute, would
you say she's kinda cute?

Really, and she's really nice?

Okay.

Does she have a big butt?

(laughing)

- Who do you define
as having a big butt?

- See, it's so hard to
tell because the thing is

is that like, I'll
see girls in here,

and they look, their
picture looks pretty,

but I know them, and
they're really ugly.

- No, it should be big.

As in like, tall.

- Stupid.

What do you do?

- Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T , S, R, Q.

- [Voiceover] Isn't that a pain?

- [Voiceover] No, not at all.

I like cuff links.

- Caroline?

- [Voiceover] Yeah.

- [Voiceover] I don't know.

- [Voiceover] I think
she went upstairs.

- No problem, I don't
look overdressed,

yet I still look
better than that guy.

I don't look overdressed,
but I still look better

than that guy, no problem.

No problem.

I do not feel overdressed
now, I feel confident.

(mixed chatter)

- [Voiceover] Oh, my goodness.

- [Voiceover] Oh,
Chang's all out.

- Oh, wow.

- [Voiceover] Did we
pick a winner or what?

- Hey.

- Might wanna take that.

Wanna take a...

- Seriously, did you know?

- No, I did not know, I
didn't wanna find out.

- Well, any idiot can get
a date arranged for them.

(laughing)

I'm serious, I mean, not
that Chang's an idiot,

but I mean, this is like...

Well, the whole fun of
the date is the object

of your pursuit, and
you're pursuing it,

and you get the ego trip
that goes along with it.

See, you're a man,
it's your object,

you are the hunter,
you pursue your game.

Get your game, you go
home, get satisfied,

that's the way it goes.

- [Voiceover] Talking
realistically,

I mean, do you guys,
will you guys generally

make the first move?

- No.

- Or no?

- No, I need, I will
make preliminary,

you know, okay, to use a
basketball analogy, okay?

Okay?

I'll push the ball up the court,

but if there's nobody
running the break with me,

then I'm gonna pull it
back, pull it on back.

- Here's what I say.

There's a time when
the point guard

must pull the ball back
out, reset the offense.

It's okay to attempt a
three pointer, a long shot

with a big pay off, if it
is within the structure

of the offense, you're
squared up to the basket,

you're ready to shoot the ball.

Off balance three pointers
usually don't go in,

and you get embarrassed.

You get taken out of the game.

All I want is a
girlfriend, just once.

- What?

- I just want a
girlfriend just once.

That too much to ask?

- [Voiceover] You've
never had a girlfriend?

- It's no big deal, I
had fun in high school.

Nothing to worry about.

Nothing, nobody to call
and like, waste time.

Nobody to like...

Who am I kidding?

It'll be all right.

- [Voiceover] Yeah,
it definitely will be.

- It's first quarter.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- Litigation strategies
that are possible

to address issues of
poverty and wealth

are very different than
those that can address

race or gender discrimination.

It has to do with
a discussion of

white and black movement
as distinguished

from everybody else in America.

- [Voiceover] Is Aristotle evil?

I mean, I don't
think you wanna say

that Aristotle is evil
because that would

go on to perpetuate
oppressive ideas.

I mean, but you
also don't wanna say

that Aristotle is stupid.

What would a feminist, if he
had a feminist perspective

back then, what would that mean?

(mumbling)

'Cause all of these movements,

like, the radical feminism,
socialist, feminist,

they're saying almost like,
men are hopeless, you know,

we women just have to
get together, you know,

be separate, do
something, you know,

and that is not
gonna solve anything.

You have to raise consciousness,

you have to change the
men, change people,

you know what I mean?

- If your objective is
to raise consciousness,

because I mean, what angle
do you start at, you know?

Where do you start?

(giggling)

- [Voiceover] The
things that I did.

Yes or no?

- [Voiceover] Fooled me.

- [Voiceover] No, no,
Gerardo, seriously,

will you take them down?

- Why do you want me
to take them down?

- [Voiceover] Because, 'cause...

- Don't tell me they
offend you, seriously?

- They do offend me,
they offend me so much.

Every time I go there.

- [Voiceover] Why didn't
you ever say anything?

- I comment about them
every time I'm there.

Every time.

How would you feel like,
talking to me in my room

with a picture of a guy with
a really big dick hanging out?

- [Voiceover] I'd probably
just make fun of you,

but I don't think it
would raise how...

- You wouldn't feel
uncomfortable talking to me

with a dick hanging in the way?

- I can see you feeling
uncomfortable with the,

if you walk into my room,
and you're talking to me,

and I have a chick that's
half naked in there.

- But you do.

- But it's a poster.

- Something that's obviously
racist should be suppressed,

something that's obviously
sexist should be, you know?

- I just basically
completely disagree with you.

- And it offends
the shit out of me,

but I can't say,
look, you can't hang

what you want to on your house.

I mean, I know I, 'cause
I can't, I don't know,

I just can't say, oh,
'cause I'm offended by that,

you have to be, too, I can't.

- It's not even that
you're offended by that,

you may be hurt
by that, you know?

Like, if that's projecting
attitudes to other people.

- But yet, you're gonna
have a group of people,

they're gonna decide where
the line should be drawn.

Like, how do you draw the line?

- I don't know, it's
a really fuzzy line,

and I still don't know
where it cuts off,

I don't like,
claim to know that.

But I know that it has to
cut off somewhere because...

- This is kinda like a
sick thought in itself,

but if there wasn't
like, racism,

or sexism, or any of that
sort of stuff, Shayne,

what would you talk about?

- Like, what would make
your life interesting?

- Do you realize
that sexism is like,

a personal problem for me,
like, 'cause I'm a woman?

So, like, sexism is
a personal problem.

(upbeat music)

- Sam.

- Debbie.

- Do you feel like
you're at a loss

at the school,
being a white male?

- I'm a what?

- At a loss.

- At a loss at school,
being a white male?

- Yeah.

- Absolutely not.

- Do you feel like
at any other place,

you would be, like, getting
a job, you would be?

- That I'm at a loss?

- [Voiceover] Yeah.

- What do you mean, like,
discriminated against, or?

- [Voiceover] Like...

- Or I don't understand things?

- Like, if you were
a color, or like,

from a different country,
it would be easier

to get into this school,
or it would be easier

to get into...

- A little bit,
well, no, not really.

I think you're still
at the, I mean,

as much as they like to
crowd up on the culture,

there's still a lot
of white males here.

- So, like, when you
hear people like,

protesting, and people
like, asking for like,

multicultural houses, and
more integrated education,

it doesn't bother you at all?

- I think they have as
much right to be different

as I do from them.

- Yeah, of course
they do, I just,

I mean, I think they
hate you though.

- [Voiceover] They hate me.

- They hate you.

- [Voiceover] Well, that's too
bad 'cause I don't hate them.

- Well, that's one, but
I mean, I'm not saying

that each and everyone does,
but I think that's part

of their group, that's
part of their structure

of their group.

- I don't think
they all hate me.

Do you think all women hate me?

- Yeah.

- [Voiceover] Really?

(upbeat music)

(mixed chatter)

- And I really hate to beg.

- Hi, are you pro choice?

- [Voiceover] Yes!

- Are you a California voter?

Come back here and visit us.

- You can think of them
like pants, you know?

Like tights and sweats
do a perfectly good job

of pants when you're exercising.

They feel a hell
of a lot different,

and one is a lot
tighter than the other,

but they both work.

That's the same
thing with condoms.

A lot of it is
just how it feels,

but every condom, it
should be able to fit you

no matter what size you are.

And there are classic ways
of showing this actually.

I use the two handed technique,

which is what I will teach you,

I discovered it's
the easiest way.

Now here's what you do
from profile, right?

You flip from the
head, from the front,

back to the front, over
the ears, and then blow.

- [Voiceover] Yes!

- Why is it a blow job when
there's no blowing involved?

- [Voiceover] I don't know.

- [Voiceover] I know, it should
be a suck job, shouldn't it?

- Yeah, it should be a suck job.

- [Voiceover] We know that.

- It would be rude to
spit out, and therefore,

swallowing is, you
know, a whole part

of the love making process.

- Kinda the ending
post etiquette.

- Yeah, exactly.

- I thought love making
involved feeling good.

Swallowing that shit does
not make one feel good.

Well, I guess maybe
I don't know, but,

makes me feel sick
just thinking about it.

- And then as far as I'm
concerned, if I were...

- [Voiceover] Be smart!

- If I were...

- Be smart!

Don't say something
you'll regret.

- [Voiceover] Say it, Scott!

- I personally think that,

I don't think I'd have
respect for anyone

that would be able to do that.

Therefore I wouldn't
care, you know?

- Interesting angle.

- I wouldn't let
someone I love, like...

- Swallow.

- Yeah.

Or even be in a position
to intake anything.

- I doubt that.

- [Voiceover] I'm serious.

- I don't know,
all guys that say

they don't like it and
all that, that's a lie.

That is a lie.

- [Voiceover] What?

What is a lie?

- You'll see Scott,
when it happens,

you'll find out,
oh, I was lying.

Anyway.

- [Voiceover] Yes!

(upbeat music)

- Well, I don't know,
how much is this?

1.75 liters, what's conversion?

- It's wine coolers, aren't
wine coolers six percent?

- [Voiceover] Five percent.

- What's the conversion,
does anybody know?

So, it's gonna make one shimmer?

- [Voiceover] Well, I
don't think it's oregano.

- We need two quarts.

- Just pour it in here.

- How do you spell alcohol?

A L?

- [Voiceover] A L C H.

- Seriously, how
do you spell it?

- [Voiceover] C O H O L.

- [Voiceover] I
think it's to run out

of the bottle of vodka.

- [Voiceover] Hang on.

- Hang on, hang on,
I'll get the ratio.

Oh, dude, we need
three liters of vodka.

(mixed chatter)

- [Voiceover] Look at that worm,

just sliding around a worm.

Oh, from mixed...

(hollering)

(reggae music)

(upbeat music)

- [Voiceover] Oh, yeah.

(mumbling)

- Yes, you guys.

(ambient music)

- One, two!

- [Voiceover] Hey!

- [Voiceover] You're
really into this.

- [Voiceover] Megan, watch out.

- Oh, my God.

- Don't blow on me, Johnny.

Gymnastics.

Ow!

Shit, I'm rolling.

- Oh, that sucked.

- That sucked, dude.

- [Voiceover] His head's in
the toilet, but he'll be fine.

- Pray, pray to the gods!

- Pray to them!

- [Voiceover] It hurts so good!

(mixed chatter)

- You need Topol.

- The smoker's.

Wait, don't sit there.

He's not good.

- It's much too
late to go to bed.

- [Voiceover] Good morning.

- [Congregation] By the
power of the holy spirit,

he was born of the virgin
Mary, and became man.

For our sake, he was crucified
under Pontius Pilate.

He suffered, died,
and was buried.

On the third day, he
rose again in fulfillment

of the scriptures.

(mumbling)

(upbeat music)

(mixed chatter)

- [Voiceover] This is,
this is your section,

I think, and the afternoon
section is over there

on the table.

- Yes, Brandi?

- [Voiceover] Woo!

- I'm so stoked.

- [Voiceover] I'm not
looking in front of you guys.

- [Voiceover] Comments
are on the back there.

- All right, thanks.

Oh, looks like this is
the one I'm gonna drop.

I thought it was gonna be
really easy coming here,

and then I'm like, whoa.

Whoa, these people
are really smart.

It's really scary.

I'm doing okay, I guess, I mean,

I mean, even though I
like, even though I like,

I came off the waiting
list, you know, it's like...

Well, I think I'm like,
at least in the top third.

- I did double check
as I told you I would

on what the situation was as far

as the chemistry of
people were concerned,

and they said that
at this point,

given the two tests
that you took,

at this point, you are at a D.

- A D?

- [Voiceover] Right.

- [Voiceover] But you
finished all of your papers?

- Yeah, I finished all of them.

- [Voiceover] And did
you get them back?

- Yeah.

- [Voiceover] And
what kinds of...

- I got an A minus on the
one, but it went to a B plus

because I turned it in late.

And I got a B on one.

- Wait a minute, you
turned it in late,

and you had an A minus,
but you turned it in late.

- [Voiceover] I turn them in,
I always turn them in late,

though, always, I turned in
one on time this whole year.

- Monique, did you
have it done on time?

- I had most of
it done, actually.

- [Voiceover] Why did
you turn it in late then?

- I don't know, I
didn't, I just didn't,

'cause I fell asleep.

- I don't detect a
grounds well of enthusiasm

for taking another
chemistry course, do I?

- No, I have to.

- [Voiceover] You have to?

- Yeah, for the
pre-med, I have to.

- [Voiceover] Oh, oh, oh,
I'm sorry, yes, of course.

Yes, yes, well.

Okay, other than that,
what were you gonna do

for fun that next quarter?

- Nothing.

I don't, I have no
room for any fun.

- [Voiceover] Now, now,
would I mean is something

that you don't
have to do in that,

you have to arrive at a certain
amount of pressure from.

- I have no room for fun.

- I'll see, but I
really got an A minus.

- [Voiceover] But
no, it doesn't count,

I mean, you got an A minus,
but what good was that if you,

if the grade shows
up as a B plus?

I mean, it feels good
'cause you know you did

A minus work.

- Yeah, that's...

- [Voiceover] But doesn't
that make you feel bad that

you did A minus work, but
you're only gonna get credit

for a B plus?

- No, that doesn't
make me feel bad?

- That doesn't?

No, but it still starts
you getting into bad habits

so that now, it's a
civ paper, later on,

it'll be your
financial aid form,

and then you don't
get financial aid

because you forgot to,
or you turned it in late.

(phone ringing)

- I seem, I get tired,
I get mentally tired.

I mean, it happened
to me like, last,

last year at Christmas
break or whatever.

I'm having major
problems with my dad,

and I got really tired,
then I was in Oakland,

and my mom doing all
her drugs, I got,

I would get really tired.

- I believe it that a lot
of people that stop out

don't come back.

- Yeah, but I would though
'cause I want to be here.

It's, I want, I don't
know, it's not like

I don't like it here,
I don't wanna be here,

I love it, I mean, this is
like the best place ever,

I cannot see myself
anywhere else.

It's just that the timing,
it just seems so wrong.

There's so much going on.

I know it's not right
for me right now,

and I know that for a
fact 'cause I'm just

so unmotivated, I know it,
but no one will believe me,

no one, oh, no, you
don't wanna do that,

you're motivated, well
fuck you, if I'm motivated,

why the fuck am
I saying I'm not?

- [Voiceover] Well, no
matter, if you go and work,

you're gonna have to do
shit you don't wanna do,

and see, the difference
is gonna be worse,

'cause if you don't wanna do it,

then you're gonna
get your ass fired,

and you're gonna be out
in the fucking street.

No matter what you
do in this world,

no matter what you
do in this world,

you always have to do
stuff you don't wanna do,

that's part of life,
that's, I mean,

that's what it's all about
is being able to accept

the fact that some things
are, you have to do.

Even if you don't want to.

Do you think I wanna go
up and read 240 pages

of Dante tonight?

I think not.

I think I'd rather go
to sleep, but I have to.

- I know when I'm really tired,

and I'm not gonna do anything,

and it's just better if I
just stop, and take a break,

and start all over again.

- Okay, I'm sorry.

If you leave, I'm
gonna have to kill you.

Okay, I mean, I will
have to, I will like,

hunt you down.

I will chase you around the
country, and I will kill you.

- I'll come back.

- No, no, see, you're
not going anywhere.

(upbeat music)

- What's going to
be on this exam?

Well, I can't tell you
that, but I can tell you,

let me, let me tell you
how to approach this exam.

This is a question
we asked last year,

this is one of the two that
they got to choose from.

European society in
the later middle ages

from 1000 to 1340
was clearly based

on the principle of hierarchy.

Discuss the effect of
hierarchical ordering

on the political,
social, religious,

and intellectual
life of this period.

What events, movements,
or systems of thought

presented a challenge
to this order?

Now, if you were to get
a question like that,

I know you'll panic right
now because you have no idea,

but come Monday after
you've spent the next four

or five days going
over this material,

that will be an easy
question to answer.

In the notes, in these
cliff notes, it says,

it is significant that
Augustine approaches

his non-god exclusively
through his inner experience.

- Marx defines equality
in terms of economics.

But one of his main
points are that people

are inherently unhappy.

- Black studies starts
a new lay revolution

of scientific humanism.

(electric guitar music)

- I'm gonna kick your
ass if you draw on me.

What?

What is your problem?

You're not drawing on me.

What?

Let me fuckin' study.

- [Voiceover] The
current duty undergoes

under text division
'cause it's in 15 minutes.

Read my very stats,
and the low division

will remain open until tonight.

* Sooner or later

* You just got to let go

* Trust that you know enough

* And it's all that
you'll ever know

* So when it's passing midnight

* Put your pencil away

* My advice for you, buckaroo

* Is to get on
your knees and pray

* Whoa, and pray

* One, two, three, four

* You gotta pray to the
god of partial credit

* Get on your knees and pray

* You gotta pray to
god of partial credit

* Whoa, chunky wave

* Chemistry, and calculus,
and poly sci alike

* There's only one
way to get it right

* You gotta pray to the
God of partial credit

* Get on your knees
and pray, God, pray *

- We're not expecting
highly polished methods.

On the other hand, we're not
expecting bullshit, right?

(ambient music)

* Oh, God, of partial credit

* Please let this poor boy pass

* Take me up over that meteor

* Or my ass is grass

- Were they communes?

- [Voiceover] Yeah.

- Yes, yes, yes.

* Pray, pray

* Pray

* It's the only way

(cheering)

- I think it might be
it for pre-med, too.

I think I'm starting
to get, adopt a new way

of thinking.

Like, it was easy to get
through high school that way,

saying, you know, well, I'm
not gonna enjoy these years

because I'm going for college.

Like, and then
what am I gonna do?

Am I gonna say that for all
my years at college, too?

You know, not enjoy them
just because I, you know,

med school is more
important than enjoying them

at this time.

- I don't want people out
there in the documentary,

them knowing that I'm stupid.

- [Voiceover] You're not stupid,

no one's gonna ever
think you're stupid.

- They're gonna
think I'm stupid,

wow, what a dumb guy,
he failed a class.

- You know that D
stands for dickhead.

- I'm sick of this
place, I like the people,

I like this dorm, but I'm
just sick of this place.

I'm transferring.

- [Voiceover] What
brought all this on?

- What?

- [Voiceover] Why
are you saying?

- I'm sick of all these
people being smarter than me,

I can't handle it.

- Chang, get over it.

(piano music)

- Seriously, these people are.

I'm transferring.

Miami University for me.

It's number two for women,
it's rated number two.

- [Voiceover] Do you think
you wanna stick it out

for the year?

- I wanna go home.

But I'll stick it
out just because I'm

a stick it out kind of person.

Just because it's what
I've been doing all my life

is sticking it out.

Sticking it out.

So I don't know anything
else, that's why.

(mixed chatter)

- [Voiceover] Bye Sam.

- Bye Sam.

- [Voiceover] Sam, if I
don't even see you again.

- [Voiceover] If you die,
Sam, I want your dog tags.

- If I don't see you again, Sam.

- [Voiceover] Wow, he
cleaned up his room, too.

(upbeat music)

- Hi, can I help you?

- [Voiceover] Two.

- Two?

This way, please.

(foreign language)

- [Voiceover] That
was pretty funny, mom.

- [Voiceover] What?

- Mom, you have soap
all over your face.

- I'm proud of you.

- Yeah, did you
sleep last night?

- [Voiceover] No.

- Yo.

- I see you found
the washer, dryer?

- [Voiceover] I made sure
I never washed my clothes

just so...

- [Voiceover] It's comfy inside.

(video game music)

- Yeah, right,
it's out of bounds!

- [Boys] Air ball.

- Air ball, air ball!

- [Voiceover] Hey, how are you?

- [Voiceover]
Great, how are you?

- [Voiceover] Good.

- I'm really tired.

Studying is rough.

- Is it everything you
thought it would be?

- Yeah, and more.

- Your grades are good?

- Yeah, okay, I'm doing okay.

Gotta work even
harder next quarter,

try and adjust.

It's adjusting.

- Do you have an idea
what your grades will be?

- A's and B's.

- A's and B's,
well, I don't think

that's gonna need to be changed.

- Not straight A's,
got a few B's in there.

- Hey, there's no
problem with that.

- [Voiceover] Yeah, and
college is a lot different.

- Oh, yeah, how's Cal State?

- It's windy, and
it's cold, and,

a lot of chicks, but...

- A lot of chicks?

- Yeah, but...

I mean, it's, college is a lot
different than high school,

but it's not hard, I mean,
I've been waiting for it

for 12 years.

- There, put your
hand on this, or...

- [Voiceover] It
is nice to get home

'cause you feel so
safe here, you know?

You just, people
know you already.

- [Voiceover] You can't go
over his back like that.

That's a foul.

Oh.

- [Voiceover] What do
you hope that Chang

gets out of college?

- Well.

All I want is that
he find a nice girl,

marry, and happy.

- Hey, you want that,
you'd better get me a car.

- Now, chill out
for two days, Scott.

- [Voiceover] Chill
out for two days.

- For two days.

- [Voiceover] Chill
out for two days?

- That cold will stay with you

until you rest and build
up your resistance.

You know, he gets
home, and boom, bam,

the phone's start
ringing, and he's gone.

And that is, his social
life is number one.

- [Voiceover] I wanna
quit seeing her as mom.

You know, I don't
need a disciplinarian,

or a lecturer, but
I need support.

- My tactic is always
keep your options open.

You know, do something...

- Even if that means closing off

some other options?

Say I'm keeping my options
open with a history major,

that's closing off
something else.

I mean, it's closing off being
a feminist studies major,

you know what I'm saying?

- I guess what we mean
is you have to take

a realistic view of what your
lifestyle is going to be like,

you know, if you're
simply comfortable

with thinking you're
going to like that,

then go ahead, but...

- So, like, it would be all
right with you if I came back,

and I said, well, I'm
perfectly fine with a feminist

studies major because I'm
not going to grad school,

I'm going to work for a
political activist group

in Washington, a feminist
group, a special interest group.

I won't be making
a lot of money, but
I'll be happy with it.

- So, is that what
you're saying?

I think temporarily, certainly.

- [Voiceover] What do
you mean temporarily?

- I don't think you could
do that for a life time,

we know not people that
are hippies at age 52,

it's not becoming, you know?

(ambient music)

- Remember those
who aren't with us.

There's to the present.

Remember those who are with us.

And here's to the future.

- Hey.

* Holy night

- [Voiceover] Why?

- [Voiceover] I don't care.

(upbeat music)

- It's exciting
to go to Stanford.

- [Voiceover] Really?

- Stanford is my home.

- [Voiceover] Did you
think you would say that

before you came
back here this time?

- No.

But then I got out
of the little car,

and I said, sheesh, I
need to go back home.

It's been the longest
three weeks of my life.

- What three weeks?

- These three weeks
they called break.

- Hi.

- Hi, welcome back.

- Well, you welcome back,
too, how was your break?

- Oh< it was okay,
it was pretty good.

- Hi.

- We love you more than
your real family does.

- It's true.

They were like, see ya.

- Hi, yay!

Oh, I miss everybody so much.

- Hey, what's up, dude.

- [Voiceover] Hey,
Gerardo, welcome back.

- Thanks.

- It's nice walking
down the street

back to the dorm, and
knowing that I'm gonna walk

into a room, and it's, you know,

I live there, but my
father is, you know,

miles, and miles,
and miles away.

* And out, and stand

* By me, oh

* Stand by me

* Oh, stand, oh, stand

* Stand by me, stand by me

* Won't you, won't
you stand by me *

- And quite honestly, I don't
wanna talk to you anymore,

'cause you know, we always
get in these ideological

arguments, and we can't
change each other's minds,

and we just get more
and more pissed off, so.

- I'm not getting
pissed off at all.

- [Voiceover] It's
just, this is something

that I feel very
emotional about,

and I just don't wanna
end up hating you

for two or three days.

- It's such bullshit, I'm
trying to have an open mind.

I have an open mind about
as much as I can, okay?

- I do, I told you
that, like, Jacob,

when I went to bed...

- Unreal, I hate this.

- I really don't care
what you have to say.

- [Voiceover] I would
say that I'm a much more

committed person now than
I was when I came here.

Like, if someone says something,

it can really offend
me, and it really hurts,

whereas, before, I used
to be able to dismiss it,

and it didn't mean
as much to me.

Like, I've always had
an objection to like,

some of the things
that the church did.

But I still went to
church every Sunday,

and then I come here, and
there's more of a sense that

as I'm sitting in
there, and you know,

reading these readings
about, you know,

the role of women, and
obeying their husbands,

and stuff, it starts to
affect me more, you know?

I'm starting to realize
that for many years,

those readings have
affected people.

- [Congregation] Jesus Christ.

- I wish, like, I didn't
have a problem with it.

Like, every time I went to
church and heard something,

you know, like, the lecture
we heard, like, last week,

you know, and like, it didn't
bother me, but it does.

Like, going to church, you
like, feel that you have like,

something there, you know?

Like you're doing
something concrete

that makes you feel like
you're doing something

out of the ordinary for like,

someone other than yourself.

Even though I'm not really sure

who I'm doing it for, you know?

You know it's not
really for yourself,

but I guess it is kind of.

- [Voiceover] Do you think
there's something else

that could take the place?

- Probably, but not
like something like,

I could share with
my family anymore.

Like, I think that's my
biggest problem with it.

I don't know.

It's hard to like,
grow up Catholic,

and then like,
break off from it.

(knocking)

- [Voiceover] Happy
valentines day!

- Come on, Rebecca.

- I don't know
what has to be done

at 6:30 in the morning
that can't be done

at 11 o'clock.

Or 12 o'clock, or one o'clock.

- She made a good
point, you know,

valentines day lasts all day.

(mixed chatter)

- 6:30 in the fucking morning,

everyone's fucking pounding
on the door, wake up.

- [Voiceover] How come
you're not downstairs?

- I hate valentines day.

I don't like waking
up this early,

I think it's evil that anyone
would force anyone else

to wake up this early just to
eat a fucking cock, they can.

Besides that, I have a mid term,

which means I need all
the preparation I can get.

At least if I fail,
I'll look good doing it.

(mumbling)

- Wasn't there
four a second ago?

It doesn't matter.

I won't eat two of them anyways.

- Well, which one do you want?

- Oh, so you would
eat all three?

- If you're not gonna eat two.

- I don't know, I
might not even eat one.

Just eat 'til you drop,
and then I'll pick up

if there's still some left.

- [Voiceover] Yeah, but
neither of us is gay, so.

- [Voiceover] Well, I
know, but I'm just saying,

I know how that develops.

I mean, that people just
start talking about things,

and making assumptions,
and drawing conclusions.

Like, oh, well, those two
were out together last night,

I wonder what they
were doing, you know,

just stupid things like that.

- My main concern
is just to stop,

and try not to make anybody mad,

or make anybody resentful,
'cause all that's gonna do

is make it worse.

- Why should we go
in there explain

how good of buddies
we are to him?

How about going in
there and asking him,

why is it so wrong
for two friends

to hang around each other?

- I want to have a personal
conversation with him

one on one 'cause
maybe a little bit

will get through to
him, and I think,

I'm trying to come up
with an effective way

to stop them from being.

- We tried your way already,

how about trying mine this way?

How about having faith in
what I'm talking about?

Obviously, you haven't
dealt with anything

like this, and you still think

that, oh, they're gonna be
sitting, reasonable people.

- You know, I've been
hearing all these things,

and I don't understand why
you guys would go around

saying stuff like
that because one,

you guys both know
that we, neither of us,

either of us is gay.

Two, I don't
understand why you guys

have such a big
problem with us being

such good friends.

- I've seen close
friends before,

I've had a lot of close friends.

But I've never like, taken
showers with my close friend.

- [Voiceover] Not even
when you worked out, like,

if you were in high school,
if you were in sports,

like, say football or whatever?

- Well, see, I usually,
we usually went home

to take a shower.

Well, after football
games, we did,

but the lights were off,
we didn't really talk,

you just take a shower,
and then get out of there.

I've got another question.

You know, you guys cut
each other's hair, right?

- [Voiceover] Yeah.

- But I understand
that you don't wanna

wear a t-shirt 'cause
you'll get hair all over it,

but why don't you wear
your pants or your shorts?

Why do you just wear your towel?

- If we were at the barbers,
of course we're gonna

wear clothes, we're not
gonna wear our towel,

but that's a little
bit more convenient

to just wear a towel,
then go in the shower,

and take off the hair.

Don't you think
that makes sense?

- All right, let me
get this, you can just

put it like this, it falls off.

- Okay, well.

- But they're the little
things that you guys do

that make us talk like
that, 'cause I mean,

I don't know if this is
true, but someone told me

that he takes naps in your
bed with his shirt off.

- Oh, my God, how
fucking stupid is that?

Give me a break.

It's like you guys were
making a case from nothing.

I mean, do you honestly
think that if either of us

were gay, we'd wanna display it?

I mean, show it off?

- Not at all.

People respect Nick for
whatever decision he makes,

but people, you know, I
don't know what you heard,

or what rumors you
hear, and why you think

I'm spreading rumors, but
the people are saying,

wait a minute, I
mean, if you guys are,

we'd have a lot more
respect for you if you did.

- But see, that's
the whole point,

we aren't, and that was
already established.

- Tell everyone this,
everyone that you...

- See, the whole point
that I don't understand is

I shouldn't have to go justify
my friendship with anyone.

- I mean, hey,
I'm happy for you,

if that's what you want,
I mean, if that's what,

if you enjoy your
friendship, like,

obviously you do, that's great.

- I don't know, I still don't,

you're talking to me forever,
but I'm still gonna feel

your relationship is very odd.

I've never seen
anything like it.

Even though you both
have seen this before,

I doubt I will ever see it again

for the rest of my life.

(upbeat music)

- We came to a realization
about our problems

on our way over here.

We're too deep about
everything, and like...

- Too analytical.

- Yeah, too
analytical, and like,

we put all these conditions
on things like friendship,

and stuff like that.

We've got this like, like,
idea of what it should be.

- Why does everybody
have to be so analytical?

- I just think it's
kinda weird that I went

through high school, I didn't
have one major like, fight

where like, I would
stop talking to someone,

or I'd stop like,
being someone's friend

because of an incident
or something like that.

At least one person,
you know, is like,

really depressed every day,
and that's kind of abnormal,

you know, where there's someone
mad at someone every day.

Hey, Susie.

- They're freaks, everyone's
so insecure about everything.

And they can't just relax.

- You got this, actually,
this actually makes

your zits kinda come out.

You know, so...

- [Voiceover] Oh, you
are gonna have all zits.

- Oh, great.

- But then it brings them
out, and then they go away.

- Yeah, don't let Nick
see me 'cause I always

give him shit for wearing masks.

- [Voiceover] What'd you do?

- What the hell's going on here?

- [Voiceover] Oh,
Sammy, hey, you're next.

- Oh, I am?

- [Voiceover] Yeah.

- Oh, yeah?

- [Voiceover] I should what?

- [Voiceover] Brush it.

- [Voiceover] Oh, no, they would
have liked me a lot better.

This is just your color, too.

- Oh, I'm sure it is.

- No laughing.

- Sorry.

- I just gotta pick
up some saltines.

What happened?

(ambient music)

- [Voiceover] If only
they could see you now.

- [Voiceover] If only my
father could see me now.

- If we had a camera,
use your camera.

- If we had a camera.

- I mean, like, a
camera that like,

you could have a picture.

- Carrie, did you do this?

- No, no, don't let him in here.

- Who did this, Carrie,
did you do this?

You are a goddess.

Awesome.

I'm so psyched.

- All right, that's it, I'm
coming out of the closet,

I wear masks.

And I don't care who knows it.

- [Voiceover] You
can't laugh, listen,

don't distract it.

- [Voiceover] What
are you saying?

- [Voiceover] Don't
laugh, don't laugh.

- I'm, so it's like, oh,
you really should get one

according to your skin type.

- Thank you, Nick.

- [Voiceover] Great.

- I'll live with that, yeah.

- [Voiceover] Well,
JD, you can explain.

So, oh.

- I get why you're hardcore.

You're doing it every
night, I used to do it.

(mixed chatter)

- [Voiceover] It's
the third floor.

- I pledged my freshman year,

and it was among the best
decision that I have made

since being at Stanford.

I very much enjoyed
the fraternity,

and suppose I'm here to
represent the pro fraternity,

pro house fraternity viewpoint.

- There's a strong
sexism that comes out

in the all male
living arrangement,

having no women, having
a lot of alcohol,

and a lot of social
functions, it's real,

it's just a bad
combination in terms

of what it develops in people.

It takes a very strong
person to go through

three years of a house
fraternity system

and not change in
a significant way.

In what I would say, in a
real sort of deterioration

of what you can
become during college.

(upbeat music)

- I know what I want.

We're about to be
judged upon how we look

and how we act within half
an hour by a bunch of people.

And like, even though it's not
a true picture of yourself,

you're still like,
opening yourself

to be rejected in some way.

- You know, it's
awful, I'm just like,

turning to a stress
case watching you all.

- [Voiceover] No, I...

- No, I feel, no, I feel like
I'm watching my children,

like, be thrown to the
wolves or something.

(cheering)

- [Sorority] Go team, go, go!

Go, team, go, go!

(mixed chatter)

- [Sorority] Pi Phi,
you can't go wrong!

Pi Phi house!

Pi Phi house!

Pi Phi house!

- You ladies are Pi Phis,
they'll like, drag you,

like, around a home.

- At least they talk
about boobs all the time.

Well, that's probably
'cause Debbie

talked about boobs
the whole time.

- No, she said, she was
like, dancing, like,

oh yeah, like, remember
me, like, her name tag,

and they were like, oh,
yeah, I 'll remember you.

- No, yeah, Pi Phi was
the first one we went to,

and they talk to you,
and they're like,

just enough time, and then
all of a sudden, it's,

oh, I gotta introduce
you to someone else.

- You're so stupid.

(mixed chatter)

I got to go read.

- It's a middle class...

Middle class white thing.

Yeah, if they invite
me to stuff, you know,

I wanna go, and, you know,

I'll, you know, I will
definitely let them

patronize me 'cause they will.

Yeah, they will, I
mean, they will, yeah,

especially the ones that
don't have black members,

they will kiss my backside.

And I'll let 'em do it.

(upbeat music)

- It seems to be like it's
gonna be a safe place,

a place you can go back to.

- Are you buzzed?

- [Voiceover] The all guy thing,
'cause I really like that,

you know?

- That's interesting because
everybody has to like,

describe their
masturbation to me.

It's either, you know,
it's either given to you

by like, a friend in
school, or you're just kinda

playing around one
day, and just boom,

you know, you're
like, wow, yeah.

- See, my high school, you
didn't even talk about it.

And if anyone ever
asked, no, I never do it,

no matter what, huh uh.

But see now that
we're in college,

we can sit around
and talk about it.

- [Voiceover] We can be
a lot more mature, right?

- Three or four times a week.

- That's the thing about life.

- A good week, you know?

- In high school,
yeah, you're just,

everybody's like,
no, I don't do it,

all of a sudden, everybody
comes out of the closet

in college, I mean, like,
two dudes in our house, like,

claim they've never done it.

(laughing)

- [Voiceover] Oh, no.

- [Voiceover] Let's go guys!

Party night.

(mixed chatter)

- Oh, you're so cute,
I love you right now.

- Congratulations!

(cheering)

(hollering)

- I'm so happy for them.

What the hell was that about?

- I want you in the house.

- Yeah.

- And I hope you'll
take our bed.

- Okay.

- Now, Adam was,
couldn't be there,

but definitely made
a point to tell me

to push for you, so, of
course, I'm pushing myself.

- Well.

- You know, after the A's game,
I said, Sam, Sam, tonight?

- Yeah.

- Awesome.

- I'll be up there tonight.

- Great, thanks a lot, Sam.

- Okay, thank you.

- Of course.

- [Voiceover] Really?

- A lot of them didn't
go to the events.

A lot of the, half the
events that I went to,

and they still got in.

And so, it's simply because
I didn't look nice and neat

on a resume.

But...

It's just really stupid.

- It just wouldn't be
that fun to be part of it

without him being part of it.

It would just be
a pain in the ass.

So, I just see it
as it's basically...

It's not accepting one
of us or the other,

it's just accepting both
of us or not both of us.

That's all there is to it.

- [Voiceover] You gonna do it?

- I think so.

- [Voiceover] So, why were
you angsting so much about it?

Or, why'd you get
all that advice?

- What, why?

'Cause basically, Dan, and,

you know this, and
everybody knows this,

everybody watching
this will know this,

that I care far too much
about what other people

think of me, you know?

It's just basic insecurity.

I mean, gettin' accepted
at a place anywhere,

it doesn't matter, it feels
really good, you know,

I mean, and you know.

(alternative music)

First time in my
life I'm a player.

A player in the social scene.

I wasn't a player
in high school.

I just sat around and watched,

and it was terrible,
it was a nightmare.

(mixed chatter)

- See ya, guys.

- Your ID numbers, all
right, your ID number please?

Social security, one, five,
six, seven, six, seven, seven.

That's pretty much a
very controlled society.

Nine to five, and then you
come home, and you're tired,

watch a little TV, go to dinner,

spend a little bit of time
with your wife and kids,

and go home, and sleep.

Controlling mechanism
before it begins.

Nothing's wrong with
controlling mechanisms

in a societal way, otherwise,
you'd have anarchy,

you'd have chaos.

But at the same time, and
in fact, we are in this,

you know, delusion of,
we are free individuals.

We are getting an education.

We're gonna have
a wonderful life.

- I guess, you know, you're
supposed to go to college,

and everything, to
explore yourself,

and find out who you really are,

but if this is who I really am,

and the fact that
who I really am

is absolutely nothing because
I'm not really anyone,

I'm just a product of the
controlling mechanisms

around me, then
that sucks for me.

'Cause during my life, I'll
never be who I wanna be.

But I don't know who I wanna be

because I don't know who
I am besides the fact

that I am the product of
this controlling mechanism.

(upbeat music)

(mixed chatter)

- I'm failing for what I
said in the evaluation.

- [Voiceover] What did
you say in the evaluation?

- Well, I said, you were
right about how Aristotle

is a sexist pig, but we
didn't read metaphysics,

or we didn't read ethics,
we read about male feminism,

but we didn't read on liberty.

We read Hobbes,
Locke, and Russo,

what they thought about slavery,

but we didn't read about,
we didn't really like,

concentrate on the social,
the social contract.

And we read about aborigines
who thought you could

get pregnant by eating a
yam, but we didn't read

about existentialism.

That's what I wrote.

So.

- You know what I was realizing?

I don't take
academics seriously.

You know?

- [Voiceover] You
just realize that now?

- Yeah.

I mean, you know
how everyone jokes,

well, I never study,
I mean, I study,

I just don't care what
happens after I study.

- You pretend you know
everything, Monique,

but you don't recognize
it's controlling mechanism.

You seriously fucking don't.

That's a good thing.

Don't feel bad for it because
you're gonna go through

all these years, and then
say that you're gonna do

whatever the fuck you
want, and then as soon

as you leave this place,
you're gonna realize

that it's there, and
it's controlling you,

and it's controlling
you from the outside,

it's controlling
you from the inside,

and that's when you're
gonna be screwed.

- Yeah.

(mixed chatter)

- [Voiceover] Deb, are
you a sophomore now?

- Am I sophomore now?

I guess so.

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, I'm so happy.

I'm on summer break,
I love Russian lit.

- [Voiceover] Where'd
you get that tape?

- Maybe you should talk to
your parents about this.

- Talk to them about what?

- I don't know.

Tell them that you feel
like you're controlling.

- I kinda did, listen, I,
did I tell you this already?

I called my dad the
other day, yeah,

I called my dad the other
day, and he was like,

yeah, well, you know, you're
gettin' to the end of the year.

(mumbling)

No, he was like, yeah,
gettin' into the end

of your freshman
year, how'd it feel?

And I'm like, well, and I
guess he was expecting me

to say oh, it's
wonderful, it's great,

and I'm like, yeah,
well, you know,

it kinda sucked actually,
I really don't think

I liked it that much, you know?

Emotionally and academically,
I just wasn't ready for it,

and I think that I'd
have done a lot better

if I had taken a year
off and explored myself,

and all this other stuff.

And you know, I mean,
I'm just not satisfied

with my grades, and I'm
not satisfied with anything

that's happened this year.

My dad was like,
oh, so, all in all,

it was a pretty good year.

Yup!

That's right, dad.

(upbeat music)

- [Voiceover] Shit.

I think I learned a lot.

I used to be pretty
cynical about it,

but I don't think I am anymore.

I was, I kinda thought
I knew everything

before I came here, or
pretty much anything

that I needed to know,
but once you're here,

you realize, like, how
much you don't know.

- [Voiceover] I don't know,
I guess I sort of expected

that I would like, would not
change at all from high school.

You know?

And I ended up becoming
really good friends

with who I never
thought I would.

- [Voiceover]
Personally, I don't know

if I've changed a lot, but
I've become more, like,

firm in who I am.

More secure about that.

(mumbling)

- [Voiceover] Did I tell
you I didn't come with

many expectations?

- I mean, this is
really fucking pitiful

the more I think about it.

It sucks!

The only truth I've
found this year

is not, well, I guess
it's about myself,

it's, I am limited
by everything.

You're limited by yourself.

- [Voiceover] It's easy
in coming to a place

full of more experienced people.

Some of them intimidatingly
accomplished.

- I'll see you guys next year.

- [Voiceover] All right.

- [Voiceover] To suppose that
your own ideas are inferior

to the ones they
are urging upon you.

Please don't fall
willingly into that trap.

Your interest and support
are worth something

to many people with
many different agendas.

- Oh, my God.

- All right, hug.

- [Voiceover] So, approach
your classmates with respect,

with sensitivity, with
high expectations,

and treat them as though
you are already caring

for a friendship that
is as strong as family.

- Get outta here, go!

- [Voiceover] I don't know.

I had all these hopes
about this college thing.

Didn't pan out.

- [Voiceover] You still
have to have 'em, Brandi.

- [Voiceover] You still
have three years left,

sheesh Mah-Neesh.