Now You See Him, Now You Don't (1972) - full transcript
A chemistry student invents a spray that makes its wearer invisible. A crook finds out about it, and plans to steal it for himself.
Did I miss anything?
ALL: No, he's doing the same old thing.
HIGGINS ON RADIO: Lufkin, why is it that every time that we have a budget meeting,
you stir up trouble?
LUFKIN: I'm not trying to stir up trouble.
I'm just trying to get what I need so we can have a decent lab.
HIGGINS: Well, I think you have got what you need.
Need I remind you that it was just last year
that we bought 10 new Bunsen burners for that lab?
No, I mean, Lufkin,
we've got to draw the line somewhere. This can't go on forever.
But our students have to experiment, be creative.
Now, that's what science is all about today.
Oh, creative, my foot.
You're talking about this bunch out there being creative?
That's impossible.
LUFKIN: Now, you're being unfair, Dean Higgins.
Suppose people had taken that attitude about Thomas Edison?
We're not talking about people like Thomas Edison.
We're talking about people like Dexter Riley.
And you can believe me, Dexter Riley is no Thomas Edison.
DEXTER: Well, nobody ever said he was!
Well, of course nobody ever said he was.
That would be a ridiculous thing to say...
No, Lufkin, I think you better just forget
about your course in creative lab.
Just stick with the old conventional systems
where you burn the sulfur, make clouds,
smell up the place, like you do.
Now, really, really, Dean Higgins.
That was good enough for the '40s, but today, science...
Why is it that every time we have a meeting, they're out there,
listening to something?
(PHONE BUZZING)
They're probably just having a little gathering.
Well, I don't like little gatherings.
They make me nervous. I don't even like... Yes, Winifred?
Who? Oh, oh, yes.
I'll talk to him, Winifred.
Well, that'll be all today, gentlemen.
(ALL MUTTERING)
That was even duller than usual.
Yup. But you gotta listen. You never know what might come up.
Yes, Helwig, did you find out anything?
Yes, I've been watching them. They've been bugging your office.
They've been bugging my office?
What? Are you sure?
BOY: What'd he say? (ALL CLAMORING)
We'll find out! Shh! Wait a minute. Shh!
I should've known. I wonder where they hid that thing.
He's on to us.
What are we gonna do?
Come on. We gotta do something in a hurry.
Let's get moving.
Ah, behind the books, that's where they'd hide it.
Establishment. They're worried about the establishment.
Hello? I'll show them what the establishment really is.
Oh, soon as I find the evidence, I'll expel them all.
Tuition or no tuition, I'll get a federal grant.
I don't need them.
Oh, nothing under here.
(WHISPERS) No. Down.
No! My homework!
Anything wrong, Dean Higgins?
Huh? No, nothing's wrong.
You need an electrician or anything?
No, I don't need an electrician.
Well, you don't have to snap my head off.
Well, if I'd wanted an electrician,
I'd have called one in the first place, wouldn't I?
Don't they ever clean this thing?
I don't know what I pay that janitor for anyway.
Excuse me, could you show me my attendance file in history?
Mr. Baines says I missed half my classes and I just don't believe it.
I don't think I missed any.
And the name?
Schuyler. Richard Schuyler.
Says here you've been absent every Thursday.
What do you mean, it's on Thursdays, too?
I only thought it was on Tuesdays.
No wonder all those epics seemed to roll along so fast.
I think I got the answer. If I flunk it this semester,
I'll just go on Thursdays next semester
and pick up all that stuff I missed.
Gee, thanks, Mrs. Kesley, you'll never know how much you helped me!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Dean Higgins, do you mind if I change your flowers?
No, I don't mind if you change my flowers.
I've got more important things than that on my mind.
HIGGINS: Wait!
I knew it. It's those flowers.
All right, Dexter Riley, I know you're in there.
Imagine it, sir. I mean, if one of our own students
could actually win the Forsythe Award.
Yeah, with this bunch, that's impossible.
Good morning, Dean Higgins. Good morning.
But, Dean, it is $50,000 this year.
Oh, really? $50,000?
Morning, Dean Higgins.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Yes, well, young Druffle here seems to have come up
with something that's very promising.
Druffle? He's one of our honor students.
What's he doing here with a crowd like this?
Good morning, Dean Higgins.
Oh, there's another beaut, that Schuyler. (MUTTERING)
Right this way, sir.
Well, Druffle,
I thought we might give Dean Higgins here
a progress report on your experiment.
Oh, certainly, certainly. Good morning, Dean Higgins.
Morning, Druffle.
Well, actually, my work with bumble bees
is based on a very simple theory.
You see, when you consider the mass of the body of the bee,
the drag quotient far out measures
the foil efficiency and the lift field.
Ergo, it's fairly safe to say...
Thank you, Druffle. Thank you.
Morning, Dean.
Howdy ho, Dean.
Tell them not to touch me.
Please, please.
I know what Tinkertoys are when I see them,
but what is this monstrosity?
Hi, Dean. What is this?
Well, it's kind of an invention of my own.
Oh, I can imagine.
You know, for a long time now,
people have been trying to figure out the problem of invisibility.
I didn't know that was a problem.
Well, yes, sir. Things have changed,
and a lot of things have happened since Einstein split the atom.
I'm sure. This looks like one of them.
Oh, I know it looks a little bit complicated, excuse me,
but actually it's very simple once you understand it.
I'm not sure that I care to understand it.
First of all, you have to read Bersokoff's book on quantum mechanics.
I do, huh? And who was Bersokoff?
You don't know him?
That's funny. He was a very famous
18th century Russian scientist.
Yeah, well, he was the man who developed the theory that
if we could prevent reflection by...
Well, let me show you, Dean. If we could prevent reflection by
bending light waves around objects with a non-reflectable liquid,
we could make those objects invisible.
That was his theory? Making objects invisible?
Yes, sir. Well, that's idiotic!
Oh, no, sir, it's a very sound theory.
Well, if it's so sound, how come he could never make it work?
Who?
Who? The Russian! Whoever...
Oh, you mean Bersokoff. Well, unfortunately, his career was cut short.
Oh, I didn't know that. His career... What happened?
What happened to him?
Well, they threw him into an insane asylum.
They threw him into an insane asylum?
And you're working on his theory?
Yeah.
Don't you exercise any control whatsoever around here?
You come to me and you ask me for money to buy expensive equipment,
so that a nitwit kid can work on a theory that some Russian proposed
over 200 years ago? Now, wait a minute, sir!
Now just wait a minute! What?
We may not agree with the Russians politically,
we may not even like them,
but as scientists, don't you think we ought to raise ourselves
above these petty prejudices?
Scientists? I'm talking about a nut
who they had to lock up over 200 years ago!
Oh, no! Dean... Dean, I'm sorry!
Dean, I'm sorry. I don't how it happened. Dexter!
These lunatics are trying to kill me!
(ALL CLAMORING)
And another thing, Lufkin,
I've had enough.
LUFKIN: But what about the future of experiment?
(ALL CONTINUE CLAMORING)
BOY: You don't understand.
I must be going crazy, but the guy in that car looked like A.J. Arno.
It couldn't be him. He's in jail.
All right, move, move away from the car there. Come on. Come on, move.
What's the matter with you, Cookie? Leave them alone.
They're not doing any harm. It's all right, boys.
Don't pay any attention to him.
Hi, kids. Nice to see you.
Hi, Mr. Arno. Hi.
What's the matter? You seem surprised to see me.
We thought you were in jail.
Oh, that. (LAUGHS) That was a mistake.
You know, the police, judges, they all make mistakes.
But I forgive them. I don't hold any grudges against anyone.
Dean Higgins, nice to see you again.
Mr. Arno. Always a pleasure to see you.
Well, thank you. Thank you.
Hey, what's going on around here?
Arno took over the mortgage on the college.
And he told Dean Higgins that if he can't make the payment in June,
to make it whenever he could.
Huh. Sure doesn't sound like Arno.
That's why Dean Higgins is walking around on airs.
It's the first time in his life he hasn't had to worry about money.
Yeah, but I just don't understand it. That guy is a crook.
Crook or no crook, he's interested in higher education.
He's already dreamed up some improvements for the school.
That's where he is now. Dean Higgins is showing him around.
Listen, I have to run off to a teachers' meeting. Anything else you need?
No, Professor, I'm just gonna work on my experiment for a while.
Holy smoke! The whole thing's burned out.
How come mine and nobody else's?
(SOFTLY) Oh, boy.
Oh, no!
Gotta be in there somewhere.
Oh, that stuff must eat everything alive.
(SIGHS)
I'll bet I gotta replace everything.
(CLINKING)
"A vector is any quantity such as a force of velocity"
"that has direction as well as amount."
I've done it.
I've really done it.
(PENCIL CLATTERING)
Hi.
SCHUYLER: Hi, Dexter.
Dexter, what have you done to your glasses?
You look ridiculous.
I've done it!
SCHUYLER: Your fingers!
Dexter, you better get to the hospital right away.
Yeah, I'll call an ambulance.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
There's nothing to be worried about.
You see, my fingers are all there.
They're just invisible.
Invisible?
I don't know how it works, but it works! Let me show you.
Now this is the stuff that does it.
(CLINKING)
It's incredible.
Yeah, but the main thing is, I can make myself invisible.
I mean, can you imagine that? Look, look, look.
Look. Human flesh, invisible!
You mean, you just stuck your hand in that stuff
and your fingers became invisible?
Well, that's all there is to it.
Look, you try it.
Me?
Dexter... Why not?
No, I don't think I better.
I mean, I'm not much on this science business.
In fact, I don't even know what I'm doing in this class.
Look, Schuyler, there is nothing to be afraid of.
I'm not afraid.
Well, then you do it.
Well, look at 'em!
They're gone, but they're there.
This is incredible.
Dexter, how do we make our fingers visible again?
Uh...
Well, that shouldn't be any problem.
Are you sure?
Well, of course!
Look, it's just a solution. It should come right off.
There, see?
Give me that towel.
Don't panic, Debbie.
I'm not panicking.
Dexter, what have you done to me?
Oh, no. What are you people doing in here?
Uh, nothing. Nothing.
I wouldn't call it nothing.
I mean, this thing has quite a history.
You've probably heard of the famous Russian scientist Bersokoff.
Nobody wants to hear anything about Bersokoff.
Now, Mr. Arno, we've got a simply marvelous
experiment over here by one of our honor students, Druffle.
He's working on a very interesting theory on bumble bees.
You see, according to all the laws of aerodynamics,
when you consider the mass of their body
to their wingspread, they shouldn't fly at all.
They shouldn't? Well, then how come they do?
I don't know how come they do.
That's what Druffle's trying to find out.
What a day to bring Mr. Arno up here.
You certainly have quite a view from here.
It's an entirely different perspective.
Uh, do you mind if my architect takes a look at it?
Your architect? You think he'd like it? That'd be wonderful. Yes.
Yes. It's quite a view indeed.
Goodbye, young lady. Bye.
Son.
Goodbye, Hector.
Dexter.
Yeah, Dexter.
What is the matter with everybody's right hand around here?
Well, they've been working on Dexter's experiment
and they might have just got a little something on them.
If they've got something on them, why don't they wash them?
Hey, I never thought of that.
It did it.
Water takes it off!
It's amazing.
Dean Higgins, you're a genius!
(SIGHS) You know, it just doesn't figure.
I mean, Arno gets out of prison,
then he picks up the mortgage on this place.
Next thing you know, he wants to bring over his architect and remodel.
A.J. Arno just doesn't do favors for people.
Yeah. What was so interesting out this window?
I don't know. He's sure up to something.
And we're gonna find out what it is.
I know, I know!
Oh, come on, Schuyler, this afternoon you said you'd do it.
Now, how come you changed your mind?
This afternoon it was just my hand. Tonight, it's all of me.
But, Schuyler, it's the same principle.
When we're through, we'll just wet you down and you'll be yourself again.
I know. But it's when I'm not myself that I don't like it.
Schuyler, it's too late to back out on me now. I need you.
Oh, no!
Hey, wait a minute, don't forget the camera.
DEXTER: Yeah, thanks. Come on, Schuyler, let's go.
Be careful, you guys!
DEXTER: Yeah, we will, don't worry.
SCHUYLER: (WHISPERING) I don't like this at all.
DEXTER: I don't like it much either,
but we have to find out what Arno's up to.
How do you know he's up to anything?
Because he's a crook.
And he bought the mortgage on Medfield College.
Now tell me, why would a crook like Arno want to do that?
I don't know, don't ask me. Don't ask me anything at all.
Why not?
Because if I knew anything, I wouldn't be here in the first place.
(SQUELCHING)
DEXTER: Hey, did you hear that? SCHUYLER: What?
That slushing sound.
You hear it, too? Shh!
It stopped now.
SCHUYLER: Hey, wait a minute, my shoes are visible!
DEXTER: Oh, so that's what the slushing sound was.
You must've stepped in some water somewhere.
SCHUYLER: (CHUCKLING) This looks pretty good, doesn't it?
Schuyler, will you quit playing around and come on?
Okay.
SCHUYLER: Good, the door's locked.
DEXTER: Look out, Schuyler! Somebody's coming.
Huh. Mr. Arno, leaving his tennis shoes out to be shined.
Must be going nuts or something.
(SCHUYLER GROANS SOFTLY)
Ow!
(SCREAMS)
DEXTER: Okay, I'll hit the filing cabinet, you look in his desk.
SCHUYLER: His desk is locked. I guess I just better look around.
DEXTER: Let's see, Medfield, Medfield.
SCHUYLER: Well, that would be under "M."
DEXTER: I know what it would be under. "Medfield College."
That's it.
SCHUYLER: Hey, there's another room over here.
What's in it? Some sort of model or something.
DEXTER: "Dear Mr. Arno, in regard to your inquiry",
"the law of 1912 permitting gambling on the Medfield property
"is still in effect"?
Wow! I've really stumbled onto something here.
SCHUYLER: I think I found something, too. (CAMERA CLICKING)
It's a model of the school.
Evidently, Arno's planning on really changing it a lot.
It has the craziest football field you've ever seen.
DEXTER: What's so crazy about it?
SCHUYLER: Well, it has no goal post
and there's a lake in the middle of it.
Never heard of a lake in the middle of a football field.
DEXTER: What are you talking about?
SCHUYLER: See what I mean?
DEXTER: Wait a minute. That's not a football field anymore,
that's a dog track.
SCHUYLER: A dog track?
DEXTER: He's turning the whole college into a gambling joint.
Sure, look where the gym used to be.
"Arno's Golden Horseshoe Club."
SCHUYLER: Yeah, and the casino is replacing the library.
I knew that guy was up to something.
"Arno Town." Oh, wait till Dean Higgins gets a load of this.
Is he gonna change his opinion about A.J. Arno.
SCHUYLER: Excuse me! (EXCLAIMS)
(GUNSHOT)
Wait, you!
Come back here, whoever you are!
(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)
How'd it go?
DEXTER: Move over, Arno saw us!
But that's impossible. He couldn't see you.
Will you come on? He's after us.
But I'm gonna look silly sitting over here all by myself.
SCHUYLER: Would you get us out of here?
Okay, so you have the pictures,
but how do you expect to see Dean Higgins in the condition you're in?
DEXTER: Well, we're not gonna see him tonight.
We're gonna wait till tomorrow morning when we're ourselves again.
Well, if it's so important, why don't you see him tonight?
DEXTER: Because he's not here.
He's up at the Friendly Sons of the Forest Convention in Riverton.
(WHISPERING) Dexter, the kids in that car can hear you.
DEXTER: Just play it like nothing's wrong. It'll be okay.
Hi, gang.
The zoning laws of 1912?
Casinos?
Dog racing?
Medfield College a gambling town?
If Arno's got plans like these,
he'll foreclose on that mortgage for sure.
I'll bet that's what he had on his mind all the time.
Well, there's always the Forsythe Award.
Oh, that's a pipe dream, Lufkin.
Medfield wasn't even invited.
Wait a minute! They can't do that to us. We have it all locked up.
I thought so, too. I thought Druffle's bumble bee experiment
would open the eyes of the scientific world.
I wasn't talking about Druffle, Dean. I was talking about me.
Oh, you! What do you have?
Well, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. I'd have to show you.
Well, show me.
I can't.
I'd rather wait till the day of the contest. I mean, with Arno and everything.
Well, what I mean is, it's such a big discovery
that if word ever got out, there's no telling what might happen!
How could word get out? Are you insinuating I'd shoot off my mouth?
Oh, no, sir. We're going to win the award.
We just want you to trust us, that's all.
Trust you? This college is going to be
taken over by a crook like Arno,
and you want me to trust you, you big lummox?
Now, just a minute, Dean Higgins, don't start yelling at me.
Schuyler, take it easy.
I didn't want to be in on this thing in the first place!
If we don't get into the contest, we will lose the school.
Now, look, Forsythe is staying at the Medfield Inn.
Why don't you give him a call?
I'll bet you can talk us right back into the contest.
You think I could do it?
Oh, sure, sir, you can handle that easily.
You can do that stuff really good.
Oh! (CHUCKLING) Well...
I suppose I could do something, as a matter of fact.
Winifred, would you get me Mr. Forsythe at the Medfield Inn?
You know, when you get right down to it,
there's no reason for him to ignore us.
I mean, it's not as though we were a hick school or something.
Besides, I've got a pretty good reputation in this part of the country.
WINIFRED: Mr. Forsythe on the line.
Oh, good, good. Lufkin, why don't you grab the other phone
and see how these things are handled?
FORSYTHE: Hello? HIGGINS: Hello?
Oh, hello, Mr. Forsythe. This is Dean Higgins,
from Medfield College.
Yeah, yeah, Higgins. Oh, blast it!
I beg your pardon?
Oh, nothing. I'm sorry. I just missed a putt I should've made.
You know, you can't putt unless you really concentrate.
Oh, no, you know, I've always said that. (CHUCKLES)
You're a golfer?
(STAMMERING) Yes.
He's no golfer.
Oh, good, good. What can I do for you?
Well, it's about the Forsythe Award.
Yes, well, I'm sorry we're dropping the smaller colleges this year,
but frankly, it just became too much of a waste of time.
Oh, we're not a waste of time.
We're small, but we have an excellent science department.
Yes, I know, but...
Well, Mr. Forsythe, if you would just give me a chance,
I would meet you anywhere, anytime.
Now, let's see. Maybe I can fit you in.
I'm playing golf this morning at 10:00 with Collingsgood
at Thunder Ridge.
Why don't you join us and we can chat between holes?
(STAMMERING) Is that Dean Collingsgood from State?
Yeah, yeah. What's the matter?
(NERVOUSLY) Oh, nothing. That'll be wonderful.
Okay, first tee, 10:00, balls in the air. See you then.
Oh, yes. Yes, I'll be there. Thank you very much, Mr. Forsythe.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
(CLEARS THROAT) I've got to get home and change my clothes.
You're gonna play golf with Forsythe?
Yes, what's the matter with that?
You don't play golf. Oh, yes, I do.
As a matter of fact, I played just yesterday afternoon
at Swenson's with Bertha.
Tough course, too. You gotta hit the ball up a ramp
and right through a little castle.
That's miniature golf.
There can't be that much difference.
Don't worry about me, Lufkin. Besides, it's the only chance we've got.
(SIGHING) Well, looks like we got our work cut out for us today.
What do you mean? What kind of work?
Well, I can handle the game, but you better be his caddy.
I may need some help out there.
Caddy? But I don't know how to be a caddy.
That's all right. Dean Higgins doesn't know how to play golf either.
FORSYTHE: That's cutting into the ball, Collingsgood.
Good shot.
Well, I was hoping for a little more distance.
But it was straight, anyway.
COLLINGSGOOD: What a shot, Timothy! What a shot!
I'll take it. You're up, Higgins.
Oh, Dexter, we better do something.
Let's let him hit one and we'll see.
You don't have any little castles here, I noticed.
Isn't that Dean Higgins down there?
I didn't know he played golf.
(SCOFFING) I don't think he does.
Maybe that was just a mistake. Let's give him another chance.
He might be better than we think.
(CHUCKLING SHEEPISHLY) I guess I got under that one a little too much. It went...
Just another swing, I'll be out there with you fellas.
(GROANS)
Oh, my... That poor old man!
Oh, he's worse than we think.
Come on.
Hey, I might be able to use this.
Good luck.
Are you all right, Mr. Reeves?
Yes, I think so.
Boy, that fellow can sure hit a long ball.
FORSYTHE: That ball didn't come from over there. It came from over there!
Oh.
I don't know what happened there.
I just sort of hit the edge of the club.
No offense, Dean Higgins, but people are waiting to play through.
We don't want to hold them up, do we?
Yes, Eugene, why don't you just take a nice, hot shower and call it a day?
I'll do nothing of the sort. I'm just getting warmed up.
Schuyler, which club do I use now?
Well, in view of what I've seen so far, I really don't know what to tell you.
Well, of course you don't know what to tell me. Just give me any club.
Next time, I'll pay $10 and get a real caddy.
Now, just give me a second here, gentlemen.
I'll knock it out there. We'll be on our way.
(HITTING)
Let's face it. Higgins just isn't a golfer.
Of course not. I could've told you that.
The man's an impostor. He's always been one.
Why, he has no more business being on a golf course than...
Look, look!
(CONTINUES HITTING)
(CHUCKLING) That was a good one. Remember that club.
Seems to break to the left.
Oh, come on. Hurry up, will you, Higgins? We can't wait all day.
I want to get this putt. If I do, then I'll get my par.
Great Scott!
It does break to the left. Your shot, Collingsgood.
DEXTER: (WHISPERING) Now, watch this!
Hmm.
DEXTER: Now, what's a nice ball like you doing in a place like this?
We'll give them something to talk about this time.
(CHUCKLING) Perfect!
♪ Oh, the farmer in the dell The farmer in the dell
♪ Hi-ho, the derry-o The farmer in the dell ♪
(LAUGHING)
It's got to be around here someplace.
Maybe it trickled up on the green.
Hah! Don't be silly. You could see it if it did.
Besides, you can't hit every ball on the green.
DEXTER: (WHISPERING) Schuyler, look in the hole.
Huh? DEXTER: Look in the hole!
Look in the hole.
Oh, well, why didn't I think of that?
I'm gonna look in the hole, Mr. Forsythe.
Of course, in the hole. Yes, there's no other place.
Well, there's that little Dickens, in the hole!
That's amazing, Higgins! Absolutely amazing!
Isn't it? Yes.
If I didn't see it, I wouldn't believe it.
That Higgins is a golfing phenomenon.
Do you know he's had two holes in one on the front nine?
Well, what I don't understand is why nobody
ever asked him to join the club.
Nobody ever thought he had that kind of talent.
I mean, it's still impossible to believe.
DEXTER: Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
How come you said that?
What?
"That's okay."
Well, you just bumped into me and said you were sorry,
and so I said, "That's okay."
But I didn't bump into you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
(MAN LAUGHING)
I believe that's a two.
(CROWD MURMURING)
That's all right. I'll give you that one.
He's already had four holes in one.
Do you think he could make another one?
Schuyler, would you keep these people quiet? This is very difficult.
People, people, people. Please be quiet.
Dean Higgins is trying to concentrate.
(GOLF BALL BOUNCING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
That's amazing, Higgins! I can't believe it!
Schuyler, now what club do you think we ought to use here?
I think you ought to use this one, sir.
You've been having a lot of luck with it. Oh, good thinking.
(CROWD GROANS IN DISAPPOINTMENT)
DEXTER: Come on, it's not over yet. Get out of there.
(CROWD MURMURING IN DISBELIEF)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Dean Higgins, that's one of the most incredible
rounds of golf that I've ever seen.
Oh, thank you, thank you. But you know, with all the excitement,
we forgot to mention Medfield's participation in the Forsythe Award.
Consider yourself entered.
A man who plays golf like you, how can we keep your school out?
Let me buy you a drink. I want to introduce you to some of the members.
Oh, well, I don't as a rule, but we mustn't forget Collingsgood.
Come along, Edgar!
He can change his shoes in the car.
(DEXTER WHISTLING)
(WATER RUNNING)
Boss, I got the car...
What's the matter? Is something wrong or what?
Yeah.
I think I must be going nuts.
Gee, that's too bad, boss.
You know, if you weren't my sister's son, I'd fire you.
I always forget you're my uncle.
Take your hands off me.
I'm sorry I reminded you.
(PHONE BUZZING)
Oh, Winifred, if that's somebody else calling to congratulate me,
would you just thank them and take their names?
Who? Oh, I'll talk to him, yes.
It's Collins from TeleSports.
Gee. Mmm-hmm.
Uh, hello, Mr. Collins.
Yes, thank you. It was just one of those days
where I kind of put everything together.
(LAUGHS) Yes.
Challenge Golf?
Oh, I don't know. For how much?
Yes, you can count on me. I'll be there today.
Thank you.
Winifred, would you call the airport
and get me two tickets to Ocean View City?
And then get a hold of Richard Schuyler for me. Would you do that?
Well, you know that $50,000 mortgage payment we were worried about?
We don't have to worry about that anymore.
Hey, Druffle.
Where is everybody?
Well, they're all out at the airport to see Dean Higgins off.
Where's he going?
Uh, up to Ocean View. He's playing in a golf tournament.
Winner take all.
Dean Higgins is gonna play golf against pros?
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, incidentally, Schuyler wants you
to get to the airport as soon as you can.
He says things are rather desperate.
Yeah, I'll bet.
Listen, what time does the plane leave?
I think he said 10:30.
Oh, no!
(CROWD CHEERING)
And furthermore, I want it to be known that all the proceeds
from my golf victory today will go to Medfield College.
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
I wonder where Dexter is.
Would you forget about Dexter?
Oh, no! What's he doing out there? (INAUDIBLE)
SCHUYLER: I think he wants us to stop the plane, sir.
But what for?
Well, he probably wants to get on board.
Don't you think maybe we ought to let him?
Of course not! What do we need with him? Sit back.
(INAUDIBLE)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first tee.
Now, the trouble on this hole are some trees on the left fairway,
but I don't think any of our golfers
will have any trouble with that.
Yeah, and here is Billy Casper, former Open champ,
considered by many to be one of the best putters on the tour,
trying for the $50,000 first prize.
HIGGINS: Oh, uh, Billy.
(CLEARS THROAT) You mind? This is a little something that could help you.
I picked this up.
Oh, he seems to be getting a few tips from Dean Higgins
involving the hands.
Wrist. You know what I mean? Wrist.
ANNOUNCER: That's a beauty. Higgins' tips obviously helped.
He's well away from the trouble. Out about 270 yards.
And here's controversial Dave Hill,
former Vardon Trophy winner.
A beautiful shot. He's right out there with Mr. Casper.
It'll be interesting to see how Dean Higgins' unorthodox swing
holds up against this competition.
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
There's a pro. Come on.
(CROWD MURMURING)
(ALL MURMURING)
That's an interesting shot. I wonder what Dean Higgins has in mind.
I don't have time for interviews now. Maybe later.
ANNOUNCER: We're here watching Dean Higgins
in his first attempt at getting out of a trap.
He's entering the trap now, assuming his stance.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're waiting for some word on Dean Higgins.
Hi. Here are our pros, Dave Hill and Billy Casper.
Where is he?
Uh, we're not sure.
You mean, he's still out there on a safari?
I'm afraid so.
Oh, yeah. Ah! Our mobile crew thinks they've located him.
He's around the 12th fairway.
MAN: Beautiful.
Jim, come in.
Yeah, Tom, I've spotted his caddy by a thicket on the left side.
Dean Higgins must be in it because the caddy
sure is passing in a lot of clubs.
It's out! It's out! Right? Right?
Which club now?
I think you better use the one you got.
It's about the straightest one we have left.
We're sorry Dean Higgins can't be with us here at this moment,
but something unprecedented has happened.
(LAUGHS) We seem to have lost him.
(ALL LAUGHING)
But in the meanwhile, we want to thank Dave Hill and Billy...
Oh, just a moment.
Yes, Jim.
Ah, we seem to have found him. He's having trouble on the 13th hole.
If you ask me, I think we ought to just throw it up there.
I didn't ask you. Besides, we're on TV.
You want people to think I can't shoot my way out of a little difficulty?
Where'd it go?
But I'm getting all wet!
What do you think is happening to me? Just stay away!
Dean Higgins!
I think you better turn around!
(HIGGINS SCREAMING)
Crazy, isn't it?
How could a guy be so good one week and so lousy the next?
Yeah.
There's something weird going on around here, all right.
I'll lay you odds if you keep your eye
on Dexter Riley and that creative lab, you'll find out what it is.
Not one word.
I don't want to hear a single word.
And you, take those things and get rid of 'em.
Yes, sir.
HIGGINS: Come in!
All right, what is it?
It's about the Forsythe Award, sir.
You see, it's an idea of what Druffle here
plans to prove with his bumble bee experiments.
Of course, he will use real bees.
Oh, and here's more or less of an outline of what he's trying to prove.
Well, it looks very promising.
Yes, I think he's definitely on the brink of a solution.
(SIGHS) I hope so, Lufkin, because frankly,
I think that Druffle is our last chance.
(PHONE BUZZING)
Oh, excuse me.
Yes, Winifred?
I hate to disturb you, but could Druffle come in and see you?
Well, of course Druffle can come in and see me.
She lets every nincompoop in this school in here,
and then she hesitates to let a real scholar like Druffle in.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) Yes, come in.
Now, Druffle, Mr. Lufkin has been explaining to me...
(EXCLAIMS) Who are you?
(MUFFLED MUMBLING)
What did he say? I don't know.
The bees... (IMITATING BEES BUZZING)
What's that again?
(MUMBLING)
It's Druffle. Oh.
"Bitten by bumble bees. Doctor says I'm allergic to them."
"Will have to abandon experiment."
"Am taking pills. May be ready next year."
Lufkin, we're through!
There goes the Forsythe Award.
There'll be no mortgage payment. Medfield will go down the drain.
Not quite, sir. There's... There's Dexter Riley.
I mean, he still thinks he has something.
He certainly does,
a mental condition with that invisibility experiment.
Dean Higgins, who else have we got?
Nobody.
But Dexter Riley...
DEXTER: Okay, now the first thing we have to do is get everything organized.
SCHUYLER: You know, Dexter, nobody seems to think
we have a chance at winning this thing
but Debbie, you and I, and I guess maybe Lufkin.
You didn't happen to talk to him, did you?
DEXTER: Yeah. Well, Lufkin didn't seem too enthused,
but we can't pay attention to that.
After this showing, Medfield's gonna win the award money
and you and I'll be written up in every chemistry book in the world.
Me, written up in chemistry books? You gotta be kidding!
What's the matter with that?
I flunked chemistry last semester. Oh.
Yeah, that is kind of weird, isn't it?
Oh, well, first things first.
Now, look, we'll spray you invisible.
As soon as you disappear, go to the table
and pick those things up, one at a time.
Now, it'll look like they're floating in the air.
Hey, that should look pretty good, huh?
You're darn right. It'll look terrific. Okay, now let's rehearse it.
Hey, you're not gonna spray me tonight.
Well, yeah, we want to see exactly how this thing works, don't we?
No, listen, I've got a date in a half hour.
I don't want that stuff all over me.
I'd have to take another shower.
Schuyler, this is the last time you'll have to do it. Now, hold still.
I said I didn't want to do it!
Dexter, now look what you've done!
(CRASHING)
Here, hold this. You better stay here.
Sorry I disturbed you, but I got, uh, my foot stuck in this bucket here.
Wonder how he did that.
You know, some people don't care how they look at all.
Boss, you are not going to believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes.
Yeah, Cookie? You saw what with your own eyes?
Well, I don't know how to tell you. It's like crazy.
Well, tell me what it is.
You're gonna laugh at me, boss.
All right, dum-dum, so I'll laugh at you. Will you tell me what it is?
Well, this...
Excuse me. (SIGHS)
This kid's got this spray, you know, like they used to use for bugs. Well...
Ah... Cookie, you're aggravating me!
Well, you spray people with...
Excuse me. I'm sorry, Al.
Well, it makes people... It makes them...
It makes them what?
You're not going to believe this. Try me.
Invisible.
I believe you.
You see, I knew! I knew like I know my own name.
You believe me?
You bet your sweet life, I believe you.
I knew there was something crazy going on around here.
Now, listen, birdbrain, this is what I want you to do.
You know what I mean?
(LAUGHING) Good morning, Mr. Forsythe. It's so nice to see you again.
Yes, well, it's nice to see you, Eugene.
I saw you on the golf match on TV. Very funny.
Funny, indeed. Well, I don't know what happened.
Yeah, well, golf isn't important. It's science.
Hope you have something interesting for me.
Yes. Well, listen...
Say, you should have seen our display last night, Eugene.
A new version of a helio-spectrogram. Quite remarkable.
Yes, the Medfield press predicted that State'll take first place with that one.
Well, the Medfield press isn't going to pick the winner of this contest.
Medfield's display today, Rutland tomorrow.
Then we'll let me make the announcement of the winner on Friday night,
won't we? Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Better believe it.
Okay, Schuyler, are you sure you got everything worked out?
I mean, you're not worried?
Don't worry about me.
I rise to the occasion when I perform in front of people.
Good. Now, look, as soon as you finish your act, just give Debbie the signal.
She'll pour the water on you. Believe me, this thing's gonna be terrific.
Right this way, Mr. Forsythe.
Good morning.
Distinguished deans, honorable scholars, please come right this way.
I think this would be a good place to watch from, sir.
This is Dexter Riley and his assistant.
Nice to know you, young people.
Yes, sir. Hi.
Well, young fellow, what've you got to show us?
Well, sir, I think we've come up with something very extraordinary on invisibility.
You're not kidding us, are you, Dean, hmm?
No. I mean, I don't think so.
Why don't you just sit down?
Let me explain the procedure to you,
so that no one will be alarmed.
Now, I'm going to spray this substance
on Mr. Schuyler and he will disappear.
He will then go to the table and raise those objects.
Mr. Schuyler will talk as he does this,
so that you will know that it's his invisible body raising the objects.
All right?
Now, watch closely.
You don't see me, but I am now walking toward the table.
Now, you will see a vase.
It is floating in the air.
But it is not floating in the air.
Although you cannot see me, I am holding the vase.
Schuyler!
I am now walking back to the table.
This ball.
It seems to be bouncing by itself.
However, it is not. It is I who am bouncing the ball.
We've had enough of this. Come along!
You call this science?
It's a disgrace to the academic world, that's what it is.
Don't apologize, Dean! I'm a busy man.
It may have been a simple error in the formula.
SCHUYLER: Well, I guess they've seen enough. I'm over here.
You can hit me with the water now.
I don't want to stay invisible too long.
Pretty good, huh? Hey, but listen, next time, try some lukewarm water.
Okay?
Hey, this isn't our formula. This is just colored water.
What do you mean? You didn't disappear.
You know, I don't understand it,
but somebody must've snuck in here and changed it.
I didn't? Yeah, but nobody knew about it but the three of us.
Oh, hi, kids. Hi, Charlie.
You mean I never was invisible?
Schuyler, you didn't tell anybody, did you?
Tell them what?
Charlie!
That other janitor, what's his name?
There's no other janitor.
Well, there was on Tuesday night.
There's no janitor who works here on Tuesday nights.
Part of Dean Higgins' economy plan.
(LAUGHS) And you know the dean.
Yeah, I do.
Thanks a lot.
So it was that fake janitor that made the switch, whoever he was.
I've seen that face somewhere before.
What face?
Arno's chauffeur.
Boy, Arno with that stuff could be murder.
I wonder what he's gonna do with it.
Yeah. And how are we going to find that out?
Maybe we should let him tell us.
Testing, one, two, three, four.
DEXTER: Loud and clear. Good luck.
Oh! Aren't those beautiful?
Yes, they are. They're for Mr. Arno. Oh, they're gorgeous!
Is he in?
Oh. Well, I'll take them in.
Um... No, I'm sorry, but there's a message involved.
We have to deliver them in person, you see.
There's a message for Mr. Arno.
Oh! I see. Okay, just a minute.
Mr. Arno, there are some delivery boys out here
with some flowers for you.
Flowers for me? Who'd be sending me flowers?
I don't know, sir.
Tell them to leave 'em.
Oh, well, sir, there's a message involved.
They say they have to deliver them in person.
All right, send them in.
Who'd be sending me flowers?
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Mr. Arno, sir. Yes?
These flowers are for you.
Ready? Yeah.
(BLOWING)
(ALL HUMMING)
ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you
♪ Happy birthday to you
♪ Happy birthday, Mr. Arno
♪ Happy birthday to you
Signed E.J. Higgins, Dean of Medfield College.
But it isn't even my birthday. Now what's this all about?
Why's he sending me flowers?
Uh... I don't know, sir. Maybe he just likes you.
What?
Well, we can't take them back.
And it really does liven up your office, sir.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Cookie, take care of them, will you?
Oh, and they're plastic, too.
You don't have to water them.
Yeah. Just leave 'em alone and they'll last forever.
ARNO: Yeah, well, that's good to know. Thank you very much, boys.
I'll be sure to thank the dean when I see him. Goodbye.
(ALL EXCLAIM)
Okay, that takes care of the first part.
Now, look. We gotta set up a watch on this radio, day and night,
till we find out what's going on.
ARNO: (LAUGHING) Get a load of Dean Higgins sending me flowers.
He must really be in a panic.
Yeah. He must think I'm going to foreclose on him.
You know something, he's right!
(ALL LAUGHING)
All right, let's give us a little room, would you, please?
Well, what do you know, a bank taking in money. That's pretty good.
In this area, Friday's payday.
The bank cashes a lot of paychecks.
People coming in from all over.
So, if you ever need any dough on a Friday, Mr. Arno,
you know where to come to get it.
(LAUGHS) That's pretty good, Mike. That's pretty good.
So long, Mr. Arno. I'll be seeing you.
COOKIE: Twenty more points. I got you in a blitz.
You know, I wish you'd concentrate.
I feel like I'm taking advantage of your head.
You threw this eighter?
Again? Man, you are killing me.
I don't know why you threw me the eight.
You know I need the eight. Why'd you throw it?
What do you mean I know you needed the eight?
I needed the eight.
I did not know you needed the eight.
If I knew you needed the eight,
I never would have thrown it to you.
Okay, boys, put the cards away. We got business.
Big business.
ALFRED: What's up, chief?
Alfred, first of all, I want you to go out and get a car.
Something nondescript that people won't notice.
Use a phony name so it can't be traced back to us.
I'm on my way.
But his ice cream will melt.
Will you shut up and listen?
Cookie, this will be the first one of many.
Huh?
If there was a chance of getting caught,
I wouldn't try it, but there's no way.
Invisible men walk into the bank.
Spray the money invisible. Invisible men walk out.
The crime of the century.
COOKIE: What are you talking about?
Cookie, at exactly 1:00 today, you and I are hitting the Medfield Bank.
Vertical line, add on, using the principle of repetition,
we see what is commonly referred to as the Roman Keyhole Effect.
But this in fact can be traced back to the early Phoenicians.
Now, early Phoenician art can be traced back
to the Franco-Cantabian- Paleolithic age,
when the first implements fashioned
by the hand and mind of man appeared.
A fascinating question arises as to whether Western naturalistic art
ever made contact with the Caspian
and Neolithic pre-Egyptian world.
In order to study the Phoenician art form,
we must first investigate the lifestyle of the period
and the accomplishments of these people.
Psst!
(SIGHS) PROFESSOR: It is interesting to note...
SCHUYLER: Psst!
That the color purple
was first found by the early Phoenicians
in a Mediterranean shellfish...
Excuse me, Professor.
By the name of Murex...
Uh...
I... Excuse me.
That is found in the Mediterranean Sea.
An extract by the name of Murex.
Murex, which is spelled.
M...
M...
So, that's what they're planning.
If we can get that formula back, we can still win that award.
They don't announce the winner till tonight. Now, look, Schuyler.
You get down to the police and tell them what you overheard.
The rest of the guys and I will go down to the bank. Let's go!
Now, you're sure about this?
(STAMMERING) I...
I mean, you could be in an awful lot of trouble if you're wrong.
Yes, sir, I understand that. I'll guarantee it.
Yeah, all right. I...
Burns, I think that you'd better go around and warn all the tellers.
But, Mr. Sampson... (EXCLAIMING)
I'm not saying shoot to kill.
Just to keep an eye on him, that's all.
Excuse me, sir, but keeping an eye on him won't do any good.
It won't? Why not?
Well... You won't be able to see them.
What?
You see, they'll be invisible.
And they'll make the money invisible, too.
So (SIGHS)
you really won't see anything.
You'll just find the money gone. That's all.
And how do you propose to stop all this?
Well, in order to make the money visible again,
all we have to do is wet them down.
Wet them down?
Wet them down. I see.
I suppose you're suggesting that we drive
a fire truck right in here to the bank.
Something like that?
I didn't mean that exactly, but...
This is the biggest bunch of nonsense I've ever heard in my life.
Burns, you may return to your duties.
Good day, Mr. Riley.
Mr. Sampson...
(GROANS)
What happened?
What'd he say?
No soap, huh? He wouldn't believe us.
Ah, nobody believes us.
Hey, guys! How'd it go?
DEXTER: Nothing. But what did the police say?
Ah, they said I was nuts.
It's enough to drive you crazy.
We could solve the school's problems and save the bank too,
if we could just get somebody to listen to us!
Wait a second. Water!
Don't you see? Look, some of you guys get down to the hardware store
and get some fire hose and a wrench.
Hurry up! We haven't got much time left!
Let's go. Come on. Let's go.
Nice.
Hey, hey. Here he comes.
Get down!
COOKIE: Hey, how about this? A spot right in front of the joint.
ARNO: Just don't hit the car in back of you, stupid.
Come on. Hurry up. Those guys are in there already.
Come on. Hurry.
(GROANS) A few more of these and we can break for lunch.
It's about time. My stomach's been growling for the last hour.
Why don't we go to Eddy's? He's got great chili, you know.
(EXCLAIMS)
We don't have to have chili. We could have hot dogs and beans.
What's the matter with you? (GROANS)
ARNO: Okay, Cookie, spray all the loot, then put that thing under your coat.
COOKIE: Gotcha, boss.
Hey! This stuff really works!
Okay, let's get out of here.
Come on, Schuyler, step on it!
I am! I am!
Will you hurry? They're gonna be out of there in a second!
It's stuck! I bet nobody's turned it in years.
Give it all you got!
COOKIE: You know, this money's heavier than I thought.
ARNO: Will you keep quiet?
Come on, they're getting away!
Schuyler!
Got it! Got it!
What in the world is...
BOY 1: Those are the wrong guys!
BOY 2: Cut it off!
They're heading for the West End.
Yeah, look, Schuyler, you and Dick get down to Taylor Street.
See if you can't block 'em off at Osborne.
Burns, what's happened?
I don't know. I was just standing here and the lights went out.
That kid was right. Why didn't you listen to him?
Operator, get me the police.
(WHEEZES)
(HORNS HONKING)
COOKIE: Nice day, Officer.
COOKIE: Hey, it's them kids!
What do we do, boss? We're trapped.
ARNO: I'll show you.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Everybody stay down!
Oh, no.
ARNO: Okay, you kids, clear out or we're coming out to get you!
Dexter, maybe we'd better be on our way.
Schuyler, stay behind your car.
(SIREN WAILING)
COOKIE: Now we got cops. I don't like it.
The police! Come on, Sergeant.
We got 'em trapped.
Hey, no, watch out! Watch out!
Look out! Get behind your car, Sergeant!
What's going on here? Let's get these cars out of here.
I got to get to a bank robbery.
But we got the robbers trapped in that car.
You what?
You can't see them, that's all.
Don't you give me any more of that invisible nonsense.
I had enough of that down at the station!
You know something, boy?
I'm beginning to believe you.
Shall we shoot, Sarge?
What at?
ARNO: Okay, let's get out of here.
COOKIE: You're the boss.
Hey! They're going to ram us. Let's go.
BOY: Let's get out of here!
My insurance!
Hey, Murph, they hit our unit!
Come on, Murphy, let's get that thing!
(SIREN WAILING)
SCHUYLER: Dexter, a car! DEXTER: Hold on!
(HORN BLARING)
COOKIE: Now we're in trouble. The cops are getting closer.
ARNO: Yeah, you're telling me.
I got it! Spray the car invisible.
Boss, you're a genius. Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
Will you hurry up? We haven't got all day.
Yeah, yeah.
(SIREN WAILING)
Ah! There's no cop on earth could touch us now.
Go to the right of that truck, Murph.
Slow down, it's an intersection.
Don't worry, Sarge, it's clear as a bell.
COOKIE: It's the cop's car! How could he hit us?
ARNO: Because he didn't see us.
Now, come on, let's get out of here.
(TIRES SQUEALING)
What'd you hit?
I don't really know.
I bet they sprayed the car invisible.
You know something, Murphy, I think he's right.
Well, we hit something, Sarge.
Well, see you, Sarge.
BOTH: Wait a minute.
Crazy kids. Look out, Murphy!
Attention, all cars.
Bank robbers now headed south on Osborne Street near 10th.
(SIGHING)
In an invisible car.
OFFICER: An invisible what, Sarge?
You heard me, I said invisible car.
Now there's a bunch of kids in a dune buggy
that's probably tailing them right now.
When you see 'em, close in. Out.
That's the problem with the department. No imagination.
What's so strange about an invisible car?
Nothing.
We can't be too far behind him.
Yeah. Keep your eyes open for anything.
Hey, there he is! There he is, man.
ARNO: Stop, you're gonna hit those guys!
COOKIE: I can't. The kids are right behind me.
There he is! Hey, look out!
DEBBIE: Look out!
ARNO: Watch it. COOKIE: What?
Watch it. What?
Watch it!
DEBBIE: (SCREAMS) We're gonna get wet! DEXTER: Hold on!
(SCHUYLER EXCLAIMS)
Hey, what'd you go up on the sidewalk for?
Look, do you want to drive?
Yeah, well, there's no top. Be careful.
Yeah. All right. All right.
Sergeant Cassidy, come in, please.
This is Sergeant Cassidy.
The invisible vehicle eluded us.
He's evidently following Fowler Street out of town.
Have your men follow three abreast,
I'll have the highway patrol set up a roadblock near the park. Out.
Roger.
He won't get away from us this time, Murph.
Not this time.
(ARNO LAUGHING)
ARNO: They think they got us!
Pull over to the side of the road. Let the kids go by.
SCHUYLER: Hey, those guys aren't doing anything.
We must've passed right by 'em.
ARNO: Now, Cookie, take us home.
We'll hit the showers and set up our alibi.
COOKIE: Okay, boss, but I hope you know what you're doing.
What happened to the invisible car?
Probably let you slip by them, then went back the other way.
But don't worry, we'll get him.
In fact, he's practically in our hands right now.
COOKIE: We lost 'em. ARNO: Sure.
Oh, no! Down the bridle path.
(HORN HONKING)
(HORSES WHINNYING)
COOKIE: Hey, get them nags out of the way here!
(HONKING CONTINUES)
Yes, Sergeant. He broke through the bridle trail
and headed down Peppertree Lane.
He's probably heading south.
I'll alert the Riverton Police Department.
In the meantime, your units can head on down there.
Right, Sergeant. Officer, can I speak to the sergeant?
I'm sorry, it's for official use only.
You see, I gotta speak to him. He's all wrong.
Yeah, I'm sure of that.
All right, fellas, move out for Riverton.
Where to now? To see Sergeant Cassidy.
Why? Because I think he's wrong.
(SIRENS WAILING)
I wonder what Cassidy'll say this time.
Whoever did this is just like any other crook.
He's got the money,
now all he wants to do is get as far away from this town as possible.
And if you ask me, he's on his way to Riverton right now.
But Arno's different.
He'll want to come back, become visible and establish an alibi.
Now, son, that's just a guess.
We've got this whole thing pretty well figured out.
It's about time you got here.
I'm sorry, Sarge.
They had me out looking for an invisible car.
Now I think the department's going nuts.
You do, huh? (SCOFFS)
Come on, let's get to Riverton.
We might as well go on home. We've done all we can here.
Hey, wait a second. We got to get my car.
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that thing.
What do you mean, "that thing"?
ARNO: Look out for the police car! Look out!
That's him. By golly, the kid was right, Murph.
Attention, all units.
Invisible car now going north on Osborne.
How could you expect us to change the tire
when you haven't got a spare?
You could've patched it or something.
You guys had plenty of time.
You can't patch that thing. Look at it. (SIRENS WAILING)
Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You guys hear those sirens?
They must've found Arno.
Hey, it sounds like he's headed for Highland Park.
Yeah! That's where Arno lives.
Listen, Chester Avenue is the only way in there.
So if we block it off, we've got him caged in, right?
Right. Let's go!
Hey, how am I gonna get there? I got a flat tire.
Ride your rim.
DEXTER: Come on, Schuyler, bring it over here!
I'm coming. I'm coming.
Schuyler, hurry up!
I can't! I think I'm out of gas!
Oh, no. Oh, boy!
Come on, let's shove him in. Come on.
DEXTER: Come on! Let's go.
Hurry up.
Come on! DEXTER: Push!
ARNO: Is this as fast as this thing'll go?
COOKIE: I got it floored, boss.
I don't know what more you want me to do.
Oh, no! Go through there.
Yeah, gotcha. Yeah.
(SCREAMS) We're out of control, boss!
Let's go. Come on.
(ALL CHATTERING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Oh, my God!
(ALL MURMURING)
What happened? What happened?
Why, you idiot!
There they are! The pool.
There's the formula!
It's over there.
(ALL CLAMORING)
Boss, I can't swim. Good!
Don't just stand around. Let's get 'em out of there.
Keep an eye on them.
Pull them out. Get 'em over to the police car.
You stupid... CASSIDY: Hey, knock it off!
Knock it off. Get 'em over there.
BOY: Come on. Got it!
Got it!
There still might be time. Let's go. Come on. Hurry!
Hurry, hurry!
Look at him.
The winner won't be announced for five minutes
and there he is, accepting congratulations.
The man is disgusting.
Well, that improvement in the helio-spectrogram was really something.
I'm afraid he just deserves to win.
He does not!
If Druffle hadn't been bitten by those bumble bees,
we'd have had this thing locked up.
He's winning by forfeit.
He's always pulling something like this.
I tell you, the man's behavior is practically criminal.
Eugene, how nice to see you.
Hello, Collingsgood. Congratulations.
Oh, you can't congratulate me now.
There are four minutes left.
We don't even know who won yet.
Oh, there's Mr. Forsythe on the platform now. Will you excuse me?
I want to get close so I don't have to fight through the crowd
when the announcement is made.
Certainly. Certainly.
He doesn't know who the winner is going to be,
but he wants to be close so he doesn't have to fight his way through the crowd.
(SCOFFS)
BOY: I hope we're not too late.
Forsythe, wait a second! Hold on!
(STUDENTS CLAMORING)
Forsythe. Have you announced the winner yet?
No. No... Okay, we've still got time then.
We got it! We really got it.
The real formula got stolen and we just got it back.
Now, if you'll let us demonstrate,
it'll just take a second.
Well, it sounds unbelievable, but go ahead.
Thanks. Okay, Schuyler, get over there.
Oh, no, not with the invisibility again!
They're not going to get away with it this time.
Okay, I'm ready.
Now if you just watch close, it only takes two squirts.
Stop that!
Sorry, Dean, I didn't mean to get it on...
You didn't disappear.
He's still there.
Of course I didn't disappear!
Can you get it through your thick heads, once and for all,
nobody is going to disappear?
I don't know why they insist on ridiculing me.
First that Schuyler walks around with vases,
pretending like he's invisible...
Something's happened. What?
Smells like chlorine. It does.
Wait a minute. Maybe some pool water got into it.
Maybe it's just diluted. I'm telling you for the last time,
there is no such thing as invisibility!
Hey, hey! BOY: There it goes, huh?
I think I'll go home.
You should too, Lufkin, you're getting that blank look again.
(ALL CHATTERING)
Congratulations once more, Collingsgood.
You ought to start working out.
Your grip isn't what it used to be.
Goodbye, folks.
(ALL SCREAMING)
People certainly get carried away at these parties.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Thanks for the invitation, Mr. Forsythe.
What's the matter with everyone? Have they gone crazy?
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
My dear fella, you ought to get other work.
You're making everybody nervous.
I've never seen people act so strange.
I wonder what was in that champagne. I'll have to...
(SCREAMS)
Hey! Hey!
What's he doing lying on the floor?
Oh, what a dream. Wait a minute, I'm here?
It wasn't a dream?
It certainly wasn't.
Dean Eugene Higgins,
I take great pride
in presenting this check to Medfield College,
$50,000,
the Forsythe Science Award,
for your massive contribution to the advancement of science.
Gee, that was close!
You know, we just won the award by the skin of our teeth.
DEXTER: We sure did.
At least Higgins can pay off that $50,000 mortgage now.
So, I guess the school's good for another year.
Yeah, but that's the problem.
He was able to come up with $50,000 this year
because you invented invisibility.
But next year, he's got to come up with $50,000 again.
Yeah, plus, I discovered invisibility by accident.
How many times is something like that gonna happen?
Don't start borrowing trouble.
This year's all taken care of, right?
And as far as next year is concerned, don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.
by Barel
ALL: No, he's doing the same old thing.
HIGGINS ON RADIO: Lufkin, why is it that every time that we have a budget meeting,
you stir up trouble?
LUFKIN: I'm not trying to stir up trouble.
I'm just trying to get what I need so we can have a decent lab.
HIGGINS: Well, I think you have got what you need.
Need I remind you that it was just last year
that we bought 10 new Bunsen burners for that lab?
No, I mean, Lufkin,
we've got to draw the line somewhere. This can't go on forever.
But our students have to experiment, be creative.
Now, that's what science is all about today.
Oh, creative, my foot.
You're talking about this bunch out there being creative?
That's impossible.
LUFKIN: Now, you're being unfair, Dean Higgins.
Suppose people had taken that attitude about Thomas Edison?
We're not talking about people like Thomas Edison.
We're talking about people like Dexter Riley.
And you can believe me, Dexter Riley is no Thomas Edison.
DEXTER: Well, nobody ever said he was!
Well, of course nobody ever said he was.
That would be a ridiculous thing to say...
No, Lufkin, I think you better just forget
about your course in creative lab.
Just stick with the old conventional systems
where you burn the sulfur, make clouds,
smell up the place, like you do.
Now, really, really, Dean Higgins.
That was good enough for the '40s, but today, science...
Why is it that every time we have a meeting, they're out there,
listening to something?
(PHONE BUZZING)
They're probably just having a little gathering.
Well, I don't like little gatherings.
They make me nervous. I don't even like... Yes, Winifred?
Who? Oh, oh, yes.
I'll talk to him, Winifred.
Well, that'll be all today, gentlemen.
(ALL MUTTERING)
That was even duller than usual.
Yup. But you gotta listen. You never know what might come up.
Yes, Helwig, did you find out anything?
Yes, I've been watching them. They've been bugging your office.
They've been bugging my office?
What? Are you sure?
BOY: What'd he say? (ALL CLAMORING)
We'll find out! Shh! Wait a minute. Shh!
I should've known. I wonder where they hid that thing.
He's on to us.
What are we gonna do?
Come on. We gotta do something in a hurry.
Let's get moving.
Ah, behind the books, that's where they'd hide it.
Establishment. They're worried about the establishment.
Hello? I'll show them what the establishment really is.
Oh, soon as I find the evidence, I'll expel them all.
Tuition or no tuition, I'll get a federal grant.
I don't need them.
Oh, nothing under here.
(WHISPERS) No. Down.
No! My homework!
Anything wrong, Dean Higgins?
Huh? No, nothing's wrong.
You need an electrician or anything?
No, I don't need an electrician.
Well, you don't have to snap my head off.
Well, if I'd wanted an electrician,
I'd have called one in the first place, wouldn't I?
Don't they ever clean this thing?
I don't know what I pay that janitor for anyway.
Excuse me, could you show me my attendance file in history?
Mr. Baines says I missed half my classes and I just don't believe it.
I don't think I missed any.
And the name?
Schuyler. Richard Schuyler.
Says here you've been absent every Thursday.
What do you mean, it's on Thursdays, too?
I only thought it was on Tuesdays.
No wonder all those epics seemed to roll along so fast.
I think I got the answer. If I flunk it this semester,
I'll just go on Thursdays next semester
and pick up all that stuff I missed.
Gee, thanks, Mrs. Kesley, you'll never know how much you helped me!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Dean Higgins, do you mind if I change your flowers?
No, I don't mind if you change my flowers.
I've got more important things than that on my mind.
HIGGINS: Wait!
I knew it. It's those flowers.
All right, Dexter Riley, I know you're in there.
Imagine it, sir. I mean, if one of our own students
could actually win the Forsythe Award.
Yeah, with this bunch, that's impossible.
Good morning, Dean Higgins. Good morning.
But, Dean, it is $50,000 this year.
Oh, really? $50,000?
Morning, Dean Higgins.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Yes, well, young Druffle here seems to have come up
with something that's very promising.
Druffle? He's one of our honor students.
What's he doing here with a crowd like this?
Good morning, Dean Higgins.
Oh, there's another beaut, that Schuyler. (MUTTERING)
Right this way, sir.
Well, Druffle,
I thought we might give Dean Higgins here
a progress report on your experiment.
Oh, certainly, certainly. Good morning, Dean Higgins.
Morning, Druffle.
Well, actually, my work with bumble bees
is based on a very simple theory.
You see, when you consider the mass of the body of the bee,
the drag quotient far out measures
the foil efficiency and the lift field.
Ergo, it's fairly safe to say...
Thank you, Druffle. Thank you.
Morning, Dean.
Howdy ho, Dean.
Tell them not to touch me.
Please, please.
I know what Tinkertoys are when I see them,
but what is this monstrosity?
Hi, Dean. What is this?
Well, it's kind of an invention of my own.
Oh, I can imagine.
You know, for a long time now,
people have been trying to figure out the problem of invisibility.
I didn't know that was a problem.
Well, yes, sir. Things have changed,
and a lot of things have happened since Einstein split the atom.
I'm sure. This looks like one of them.
Oh, I know it looks a little bit complicated, excuse me,
but actually it's very simple once you understand it.
I'm not sure that I care to understand it.
First of all, you have to read Bersokoff's book on quantum mechanics.
I do, huh? And who was Bersokoff?
You don't know him?
That's funny. He was a very famous
18th century Russian scientist.
Yeah, well, he was the man who developed the theory that
if we could prevent reflection by...
Well, let me show you, Dean. If we could prevent reflection by
bending light waves around objects with a non-reflectable liquid,
we could make those objects invisible.
That was his theory? Making objects invisible?
Yes, sir. Well, that's idiotic!
Oh, no, sir, it's a very sound theory.
Well, if it's so sound, how come he could never make it work?
Who?
Who? The Russian! Whoever...
Oh, you mean Bersokoff. Well, unfortunately, his career was cut short.
Oh, I didn't know that. His career... What happened?
What happened to him?
Well, they threw him into an insane asylum.
They threw him into an insane asylum?
And you're working on his theory?
Yeah.
Don't you exercise any control whatsoever around here?
You come to me and you ask me for money to buy expensive equipment,
so that a nitwit kid can work on a theory that some Russian proposed
over 200 years ago? Now, wait a minute, sir!
Now just wait a minute! What?
We may not agree with the Russians politically,
we may not even like them,
but as scientists, don't you think we ought to raise ourselves
above these petty prejudices?
Scientists? I'm talking about a nut
who they had to lock up over 200 years ago!
Oh, no! Dean... Dean, I'm sorry!
Dean, I'm sorry. I don't how it happened. Dexter!
These lunatics are trying to kill me!
(ALL CLAMORING)
And another thing, Lufkin,
I've had enough.
LUFKIN: But what about the future of experiment?
(ALL CONTINUE CLAMORING)
BOY: You don't understand.
I must be going crazy, but the guy in that car looked like A.J. Arno.
It couldn't be him. He's in jail.
All right, move, move away from the car there. Come on. Come on, move.
What's the matter with you, Cookie? Leave them alone.
They're not doing any harm. It's all right, boys.
Don't pay any attention to him.
Hi, kids. Nice to see you.
Hi, Mr. Arno. Hi.
What's the matter? You seem surprised to see me.
We thought you were in jail.
Oh, that. (LAUGHS) That was a mistake.
You know, the police, judges, they all make mistakes.
But I forgive them. I don't hold any grudges against anyone.
Dean Higgins, nice to see you again.
Mr. Arno. Always a pleasure to see you.
Well, thank you. Thank you.
Hey, what's going on around here?
Arno took over the mortgage on the college.
And he told Dean Higgins that if he can't make the payment in June,
to make it whenever he could.
Huh. Sure doesn't sound like Arno.
That's why Dean Higgins is walking around on airs.
It's the first time in his life he hasn't had to worry about money.
Yeah, but I just don't understand it. That guy is a crook.
Crook or no crook, he's interested in higher education.
He's already dreamed up some improvements for the school.
That's where he is now. Dean Higgins is showing him around.
Listen, I have to run off to a teachers' meeting. Anything else you need?
No, Professor, I'm just gonna work on my experiment for a while.
Holy smoke! The whole thing's burned out.
How come mine and nobody else's?
(SOFTLY) Oh, boy.
Oh, no!
Gotta be in there somewhere.
Oh, that stuff must eat everything alive.
(SIGHS)
I'll bet I gotta replace everything.
(CLINKING)
"A vector is any quantity such as a force of velocity"
"that has direction as well as amount."
I've done it.
I've really done it.
(PENCIL CLATTERING)
Hi.
SCHUYLER: Hi, Dexter.
Dexter, what have you done to your glasses?
You look ridiculous.
I've done it!
SCHUYLER: Your fingers!
Dexter, you better get to the hospital right away.
Yeah, I'll call an ambulance.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
There's nothing to be worried about.
You see, my fingers are all there.
They're just invisible.
Invisible?
I don't know how it works, but it works! Let me show you.
Now this is the stuff that does it.
(CLINKING)
It's incredible.
Yeah, but the main thing is, I can make myself invisible.
I mean, can you imagine that? Look, look, look.
Look. Human flesh, invisible!
You mean, you just stuck your hand in that stuff
and your fingers became invisible?
Well, that's all there is to it.
Look, you try it.
Me?
Dexter... Why not?
No, I don't think I better.
I mean, I'm not much on this science business.
In fact, I don't even know what I'm doing in this class.
Look, Schuyler, there is nothing to be afraid of.
I'm not afraid.
Well, then you do it.
Well, look at 'em!
They're gone, but they're there.
This is incredible.
Dexter, how do we make our fingers visible again?
Uh...
Well, that shouldn't be any problem.
Are you sure?
Well, of course!
Look, it's just a solution. It should come right off.
There, see?
Give me that towel.
Don't panic, Debbie.
I'm not panicking.
Dexter, what have you done to me?
Oh, no. What are you people doing in here?
Uh, nothing. Nothing.
I wouldn't call it nothing.
I mean, this thing has quite a history.
You've probably heard of the famous Russian scientist Bersokoff.
Nobody wants to hear anything about Bersokoff.
Now, Mr. Arno, we've got a simply marvelous
experiment over here by one of our honor students, Druffle.
He's working on a very interesting theory on bumble bees.
You see, according to all the laws of aerodynamics,
when you consider the mass of their body
to their wingspread, they shouldn't fly at all.
They shouldn't? Well, then how come they do?
I don't know how come they do.
That's what Druffle's trying to find out.
What a day to bring Mr. Arno up here.
You certainly have quite a view from here.
It's an entirely different perspective.
Uh, do you mind if my architect takes a look at it?
Your architect? You think he'd like it? That'd be wonderful. Yes.
Yes. It's quite a view indeed.
Goodbye, young lady. Bye.
Son.
Goodbye, Hector.
Dexter.
Yeah, Dexter.
What is the matter with everybody's right hand around here?
Well, they've been working on Dexter's experiment
and they might have just got a little something on them.
If they've got something on them, why don't they wash them?
Hey, I never thought of that.
It did it.
Water takes it off!
It's amazing.
Dean Higgins, you're a genius!
(SIGHS) You know, it just doesn't figure.
I mean, Arno gets out of prison,
then he picks up the mortgage on this place.
Next thing you know, he wants to bring over his architect and remodel.
A.J. Arno just doesn't do favors for people.
Yeah. What was so interesting out this window?
I don't know. He's sure up to something.
And we're gonna find out what it is.
I know, I know!
Oh, come on, Schuyler, this afternoon you said you'd do it.
Now, how come you changed your mind?
This afternoon it was just my hand. Tonight, it's all of me.
But, Schuyler, it's the same principle.
When we're through, we'll just wet you down and you'll be yourself again.
I know. But it's when I'm not myself that I don't like it.
Schuyler, it's too late to back out on me now. I need you.
Oh, no!
Hey, wait a minute, don't forget the camera.
DEXTER: Yeah, thanks. Come on, Schuyler, let's go.
Be careful, you guys!
DEXTER: Yeah, we will, don't worry.
SCHUYLER: (WHISPERING) I don't like this at all.
DEXTER: I don't like it much either,
but we have to find out what Arno's up to.
How do you know he's up to anything?
Because he's a crook.
And he bought the mortgage on Medfield College.
Now tell me, why would a crook like Arno want to do that?
I don't know, don't ask me. Don't ask me anything at all.
Why not?
Because if I knew anything, I wouldn't be here in the first place.
(SQUELCHING)
DEXTER: Hey, did you hear that? SCHUYLER: What?
That slushing sound.
You hear it, too? Shh!
It stopped now.
SCHUYLER: Hey, wait a minute, my shoes are visible!
DEXTER: Oh, so that's what the slushing sound was.
You must've stepped in some water somewhere.
SCHUYLER: (CHUCKLING) This looks pretty good, doesn't it?
Schuyler, will you quit playing around and come on?
Okay.
SCHUYLER: Good, the door's locked.
DEXTER: Look out, Schuyler! Somebody's coming.
Huh. Mr. Arno, leaving his tennis shoes out to be shined.
Must be going nuts or something.
(SCHUYLER GROANS SOFTLY)
Ow!
(SCREAMS)
DEXTER: Okay, I'll hit the filing cabinet, you look in his desk.
SCHUYLER: His desk is locked. I guess I just better look around.
DEXTER: Let's see, Medfield, Medfield.
SCHUYLER: Well, that would be under "M."
DEXTER: I know what it would be under. "Medfield College."
That's it.
SCHUYLER: Hey, there's another room over here.
What's in it? Some sort of model or something.
DEXTER: "Dear Mr. Arno, in regard to your inquiry",
"the law of 1912 permitting gambling on the Medfield property
"is still in effect"?
Wow! I've really stumbled onto something here.
SCHUYLER: I think I found something, too. (CAMERA CLICKING)
It's a model of the school.
Evidently, Arno's planning on really changing it a lot.
It has the craziest football field you've ever seen.
DEXTER: What's so crazy about it?
SCHUYLER: Well, it has no goal post
and there's a lake in the middle of it.
Never heard of a lake in the middle of a football field.
DEXTER: What are you talking about?
SCHUYLER: See what I mean?
DEXTER: Wait a minute. That's not a football field anymore,
that's a dog track.
SCHUYLER: A dog track?
DEXTER: He's turning the whole college into a gambling joint.
Sure, look where the gym used to be.
"Arno's Golden Horseshoe Club."
SCHUYLER: Yeah, and the casino is replacing the library.
I knew that guy was up to something.
"Arno Town." Oh, wait till Dean Higgins gets a load of this.
Is he gonna change his opinion about A.J. Arno.
SCHUYLER: Excuse me! (EXCLAIMS)
(GUNSHOT)
Wait, you!
Come back here, whoever you are!
(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)
How'd it go?
DEXTER: Move over, Arno saw us!
But that's impossible. He couldn't see you.
Will you come on? He's after us.
But I'm gonna look silly sitting over here all by myself.
SCHUYLER: Would you get us out of here?
Okay, so you have the pictures,
but how do you expect to see Dean Higgins in the condition you're in?
DEXTER: Well, we're not gonna see him tonight.
We're gonna wait till tomorrow morning when we're ourselves again.
Well, if it's so important, why don't you see him tonight?
DEXTER: Because he's not here.
He's up at the Friendly Sons of the Forest Convention in Riverton.
(WHISPERING) Dexter, the kids in that car can hear you.
DEXTER: Just play it like nothing's wrong. It'll be okay.
Hi, gang.
The zoning laws of 1912?
Casinos?
Dog racing?
Medfield College a gambling town?
If Arno's got plans like these,
he'll foreclose on that mortgage for sure.
I'll bet that's what he had on his mind all the time.
Well, there's always the Forsythe Award.
Oh, that's a pipe dream, Lufkin.
Medfield wasn't even invited.
Wait a minute! They can't do that to us. We have it all locked up.
I thought so, too. I thought Druffle's bumble bee experiment
would open the eyes of the scientific world.
I wasn't talking about Druffle, Dean. I was talking about me.
Oh, you! What do you have?
Well, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. I'd have to show you.
Well, show me.
I can't.
I'd rather wait till the day of the contest. I mean, with Arno and everything.
Well, what I mean is, it's such a big discovery
that if word ever got out, there's no telling what might happen!
How could word get out? Are you insinuating I'd shoot off my mouth?
Oh, no, sir. We're going to win the award.
We just want you to trust us, that's all.
Trust you? This college is going to be
taken over by a crook like Arno,
and you want me to trust you, you big lummox?
Now, just a minute, Dean Higgins, don't start yelling at me.
Schuyler, take it easy.
I didn't want to be in on this thing in the first place!
If we don't get into the contest, we will lose the school.
Now, look, Forsythe is staying at the Medfield Inn.
Why don't you give him a call?
I'll bet you can talk us right back into the contest.
You think I could do it?
Oh, sure, sir, you can handle that easily.
You can do that stuff really good.
Oh! (CHUCKLING) Well...
I suppose I could do something, as a matter of fact.
Winifred, would you get me Mr. Forsythe at the Medfield Inn?
You know, when you get right down to it,
there's no reason for him to ignore us.
I mean, it's not as though we were a hick school or something.
Besides, I've got a pretty good reputation in this part of the country.
WINIFRED: Mr. Forsythe on the line.
Oh, good, good. Lufkin, why don't you grab the other phone
and see how these things are handled?
FORSYTHE: Hello? HIGGINS: Hello?
Oh, hello, Mr. Forsythe. This is Dean Higgins,
from Medfield College.
Yeah, yeah, Higgins. Oh, blast it!
I beg your pardon?
Oh, nothing. I'm sorry. I just missed a putt I should've made.
You know, you can't putt unless you really concentrate.
Oh, no, you know, I've always said that. (CHUCKLES)
You're a golfer?
(STAMMERING) Yes.
He's no golfer.
Oh, good, good. What can I do for you?
Well, it's about the Forsythe Award.
Yes, well, I'm sorry we're dropping the smaller colleges this year,
but frankly, it just became too much of a waste of time.
Oh, we're not a waste of time.
We're small, but we have an excellent science department.
Yes, I know, but...
Well, Mr. Forsythe, if you would just give me a chance,
I would meet you anywhere, anytime.
Now, let's see. Maybe I can fit you in.
I'm playing golf this morning at 10:00 with Collingsgood
at Thunder Ridge.
Why don't you join us and we can chat between holes?
(STAMMERING) Is that Dean Collingsgood from State?
Yeah, yeah. What's the matter?
(NERVOUSLY) Oh, nothing. That'll be wonderful.
Okay, first tee, 10:00, balls in the air. See you then.
Oh, yes. Yes, I'll be there. Thank you very much, Mr. Forsythe.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
(CLEARS THROAT) I've got to get home and change my clothes.
You're gonna play golf with Forsythe?
Yes, what's the matter with that?
You don't play golf. Oh, yes, I do.
As a matter of fact, I played just yesterday afternoon
at Swenson's with Bertha.
Tough course, too. You gotta hit the ball up a ramp
and right through a little castle.
That's miniature golf.
There can't be that much difference.
Don't worry about me, Lufkin. Besides, it's the only chance we've got.
(SIGHING) Well, looks like we got our work cut out for us today.
What do you mean? What kind of work?
Well, I can handle the game, but you better be his caddy.
I may need some help out there.
Caddy? But I don't know how to be a caddy.
That's all right. Dean Higgins doesn't know how to play golf either.
FORSYTHE: That's cutting into the ball, Collingsgood.
Good shot.
Well, I was hoping for a little more distance.
But it was straight, anyway.
COLLINGSGOOD: What a shot, Timothy! What a shot!
I'll take it. You're up, Higgins.
Oh, Dexter, we better do something.
Let's let him hit one and we'll see.
You don't have any little castles here, I noticed.
Isn't that Dean Higgins down there?
I didn't know he played golf.
(SCOFFING) I don't think he does.
Maybe that was just a mistake. Let's give him another chance.
He might be better than we think.
(CHUCKLING SHEEPISHLY) I guess I got under that one a little too much. It went...
Just another swing, I'll be out there with you fellas.
(GROANS)
Oh, my... That poor old man!
Oh, he's worse than we think.
Come on.
Hey, I might be able to use this.
Good luck.
Are you all right, Mr. Reeves?
Yes, I think so.
Boy, that fellow can sure hit a long ball.
FORSYTHE: That ball didn't come from over there. It came from over there!
Oh.
I don't know what happened there.
I just sort of hit the edge of the club.
No offense, Dean Higgins, but people are waiting to play through.
We don't want to hold them up, do we?
Yes, Eugene, why don't you just take a nice, hot shower and call it a day?
I'll do nothing of the sort. I'm just getting warmed up.
Schuyler, which club do I use now?
Well, in view of what I've seen so far, I really don't know what to tell you.
Well, of course you don't know what to tell me. Just give me any club.
Next time, I'll pay $10 and get a real caddy.
Now, just give me a second here, gentlemen.
I'll knock it out there. We'll be on our way.
(HITTING)
Let's face it. Higgins just isn't a golfer.
Of course not. I could've told you that.
The man's an impostor. He's always been one.
Why, he has no more business being on a golf course than...
Look, look!
(CONTINUES HITTING)
(CHUCKLING) That was a good one. Remember that club.
Seems to break to the left.
Oh, come on. Hurry up, will you, Higgins? We can't wait all day.
I want to get this putt. If I do, then I'll get my par.
Great Scott!
It does break to the left. Your shot, Collingsgood.
DEXTER: (WHISPERING) Now, watch this!
Hmm.
DEXTER: Now, what's a nice ball like you doing in a place like this?
We'll give them something to talk about this time.
(CHUCKLING) Perfect!
♪ Oh, the farmer in the dell The farmer in the dell
♪ Hi-ho, the derry-o The farmer in the dell ♪
(LAUGHING)
It's got to be around here someplace.
Maybe it trickled up on the green.
Hah! Don't be silly. You could see it if it did.
Besides, you can't hit every ball on the green.
DEXTER: (WHISPERING) Schuyler, look in the hole.
Huh? DEXTER: Look in the hole!
Look in the hole.
Oh, well, why didn't I think of that?
I'm gonna look in the hole, Mr. Forsythe.
Of course, in the hole. Yes, there's no other place.
Well, there's that little Dickens, in the hole!
That's amazing, Higgins! Absolutely amazing!
Isn't it? Yes.
If I didn't see it, I wouldn't believe it.
That Higgins is a golfing phenomenon.
Do you know he's had two holes in one on the front nine?
Well, what I don't understand is why nobody
ever asked him to join the club.
Nobody ever thought he had that kind of talent.
I mean, it's still impossible to believe.
DEXTER: Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
How come you said that?
What?
"That's okay."
Well, you just bumped into me and said you were sorry,
and so I said, "That's okay."
But I didn't bump into you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
(MAN LAUGHING)
I believe that's a two.
(CROWD MURMURING)
That's all right. I'll give you that one.
He's already had four holes in one.
Do you think he could make another one?
Schuyler, would you keep these people quiet? This is very difficult.
People, people, people. Please be quiet.
Dean Higgins is trying to concentrate.
(GOLF BALL BOUNCING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
That's amazing, Higgins! I can't believe it!
Schuyler, now what club do you think we ought to use here?
I think you ought to use this one, sir.
You've been having a lot of luck with it. Oh, good thinking.
(CROWD GROANS IN DISAPPOINTMENT)
DEXTER: Come on, it's not over yet. Get out of there.
(CROWD MURMURING IN DISBELIEF)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Dean Higgins, that's one of the most incredible
rounds of golf that I've ever seen.
Oh, thank you, thank you. But you know, with all the excitement,
we forgot to mention Medfield's participation in the Forsythe Award.
Consider yourself entered.
A man who plays golf like you, how can we keep your school out?
Let me buy you a drink. I want to introduce you to some of the members.
Oh, well, I don't as a rule, but we mustn't forget Collingsgood.
Come along, Edgar!
He can change his shoes in the car.
(DEXTER WHISTLING)
(WATER RUNNING)
Boss, I got the car...
What's the matter? Is something wrong or what?
Yeah.
I think I must be going nuts.
Gee, that's too bad, boss.
You know, if you weren't my sister's son, I'd fire you.
I always forget you're my uncle.
Take your hands off me.
I'm sorry I reminded you.
(PHONE BUZZING)
Oh, Winifred, if that's somebody else calling to congratulate me,
would you just thank them and take their names?
Who? Oh, I'll talk to him, yes.
It's Collins from TeleSports.
Gee. Mmm-hmm.
Uh, hello, Mr. Collins.
Yes, thank you. It was just one of those days
where I kind of put everything together.
(LAUGHS) Yes.
Challenge Golf?
Oh, I don't know. For how much?
Yes, you can count on me. I'll be there today.
Thank you.
Winifred, would you call the airport
and get me two tickets to Ocean View City?
And then get a hold of Richard Schuyler for me. Would you do that?
Well, you know that $50,000 mortgage payment we were worried about?
We don't have to worry about that anymore.
Hey, Druffle.
Where is everybody?
Well, they're all out at the airport to see Dean Higgins off.
Where's he going?
Uh, up to Ocean View. He's playing in a golf tournament.
Winner take all.
Dean Higgins is gonna play golf against pros?
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, incidentally, Schuyler wants you
to get to the airport as soon as you can.
He says things are rather desperate.
Yeah, I'll bet.
Listen, what time does the plane leave?
I think he said 10:30.
Oh, no!
(CROWD CHEERING)
And furthermore, I want it to be known that all the proceeds
from my golf victory today will go to Medfield College.
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
I wonder where Dexter is.
Would you forget about Dexter?
Oh, no! What's he doing out there? (INAUDIBLE)
SCHUYLER: I think he wants us to stop the plane, sir.
But what for?
Well, he probably wants to get on board.
Don't you think maybe we ought to let him?
Of course not! What do we need with him? Sit back.
(INAUDIBLE)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first tee.
Now, the trouble on this hole are some trees on the left fairway,
but I don't think any of our golfers
will have any trouble with that.
Yeah, and here is Billy Casper, former Open champ,
considered by many to be one of the best putters on the tour,
trying for the $50,000 first prize.
HIGGINS: Oh, uh, Billy.
(CLEARS THROAT) You mind? This is a little something that could help you.
I picked this up.
Oh, he seems to be getting a few tips from Dean Higgins
involving the hands.
Wrist. You know what I mean? Wrist.
ANNOUNCER: That's a beauty. Higgins' tips obviously helped.
He's well away from the trouble. Out about 270 yards.
And here's controversial Dave Hill,
former Vardon Trophy winner.
A beautiful shot. He's right out there with Mr. Casper.
It'll be interesting to see how Dean Higgins' unorthodox swing
holds up against this competition.
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
There's a pro. Come on.
(CROWD MURMURING)
(ALL MURMURING)
That's an interesting shot. I wonder what Dean Higgins has in mind.
I don't have time for interviews now. Maybe later.
ANNOUNCER: We're here watching Dean Higgins
in his first attempt at getting out of a trap.
He's entering the trap now, assuming his stance.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're waiting for some word on Dean Higgins.
Hi. Here are our pros, Dave Hill and Billy Casper.
Where is he?
Uh, we're not sure.
You mean, he's still out there on a safari?
I'm afraid so.
Oh, yeah. Ah! Our mobile crew thinks they've located him.
He's around the 12th fairway.
MAN: Beautiful.
Jim, come in.
Yeah, Tom, I've spotted his caddy by a thicket on the left side.
Dean Higgins must be in it because the caddy
sure is passing in a lot of clubs.
It's out! It's out! Right? Right?
Which club now?
I think you better use the one you got.
It's about the straightest one we have left.
We're sorry Dean Higgins can't be with us here at this moment,
but something unprecedented has happened.
(LAUGHS) We seem to have lost him.
(ALL LAUGHING)
But in the meanwhile, we want to thank Dave Hill and Billy...
Oh, just a moment.
Yes, Jim.
Ah, we seem to have found him. He's having trouble on the 13th hole.
If you ask me, I think we ought to just throw it up there.
I didn't ask you. Besides, we're on TV.
You want people to think I can't shoot my way out of a little difficulty?
Where'd it go?
But I'm getting all wet!
What do you think is happening to me? Just stay away!
Dean Higgins!
I think you better turn around!
(HIGGINS SCREAMING)
Crazy, isn't it?
How could a guy be so good one week and so lousy the next?
Yeah.
There's something weird going on around here, all right.
I'll lay you odds if you keep your eye
on Dexter Riley and that creative lab, you'll find out what it is.
Not one word.
I don't want to hear a single word.
And you, take those things and get rid of 'em.
Yes, sir.
HIGGINS: Come in!
All right, what is it?
It's about the Forsythe Award, sir.
You see, it's an idea of what Druffle here
plans to prove with his bumble bee experiments.
Of course, he will use real bees.
Oh, and here's more or less of an outline of what he's trying to prove.
Well, it looks very promising.
Yes, I think he's definitely on the brink of a solution.
(SIGHS) I hope so, Lufkin, because frankly,
I think that Druffle is our last chance.
(PHONE BUZZING)
Oh, excuse me.
Yes, Winifred?
I hate to disturb you, but could Druffle come in and see you?
Well, of course Druffle can come in and see me.
She lets every nincompoop in this school in here,
and then she hesitates to let a real scholar like Druffle in.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) Yes, come in.
Now, Druffle, Mr. Lufkin has been explaining to me...
(EXCLAIMS) Who are you?
(MUFFLED MUMBLING)
What did he say? I don't know.
The bees... (IMITATING BEES BUZZING)
What's that again?
(MUMBLING)
It's Druffle. Oh.
"Bitten by bumble bees. Doctor says I'm allergic to them."
"Will have to abandon experiment."
"Am taking pills. May be ready next year."
Lufkin, we're through!
There goes the Forsythe Award.
There'll be no mortgage payment. Medfield will go down the drain.
Not quite, sir. There's... There's Dexter Riley.
I mean, he still thinks he has something.
He certainly does,
a mental condition with that invisibility experiment.
Dean Higgins, who else have we got?
Nobody.
But Dexter Riley...
DEXTER: Okay, now the first thing we have to do is get everything organized.
SCHUYLER: You know, Dexter, nobody seems to think
we have a chance at winning this thing
but Debbie, you and I, and I guess maybe Lufkin.
You didn't happen to talk to him, did you?
DEXTER: Yeah. Well, Lufkin didn't seem too enthused,
but we can't pay attention to that.
After this showing, Medfield's gonna win the award money
and you and I'll be written up in every chemistry book in the world.
Me, written up in chemistry books? You gotta be kidding!
What's the matter with that?
I flunked chemistry last semester. Oh.
Yeah, that is kind of weird, isn't it?
Oh, well, first things first.
Now, look, we'll spray you invisible.
As soon as you disappear, go to the table
and pick those things up, one at a time.
Now, it'll look like they're floating in the air.
Hey, that should look pretty good, huh?
You're darn right. It'll look terrific. Okay, now let's rehearse it.
Hey, you're not gonna spray me tonight.
Well, yeah, we want to see exactly how this thing works, don't we?
No, listen, I've got a date in a half hour.
I don't want that stuff all over me.
I'd have to take another shower.
Schuyler, this is the last time you'll have to do it. Now, hold still.
I said I didn't want to do it!
Dexter, now look what you've done!
(CRASHING)
Here, hold this. You better stay here.
Sorry I disturbed you, but I got, uh, my foot stuck in this bucket here.
Wonder how he did that.
You know, some people don't care how they look at all.
Boss, you are not going to believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes.
Yeah, Cookie? You saw what with your own eyes?
Well, I don't know how to tell you. It's like crazy.
Well, tell me what it is.
You're gonna laugh at me, boss.
All right, dum-dum, so I'll laugh at you. Will you tell me what it is?
Well, this...
Excuse me. (SIGHS)
This kid's got this spray, you know, like they used to use for bugs. Well...
Ah... Cookie, you're aggravating me!
Well, you spray people with...
Excuse me. I'm sorry, Al.
Well, it makes people... It makes them...
It makes them what?
You're not going to believe this. Try me.
Invisible.
I believe you.
You see, I knew! I knew like I know my own name.
You believe me?
You bet your sweet life, I believe you.
I knew there was something crazy going on around here.
Now, listen, birdbrain, this is what I want you to do.
You know what I mean?
(LAUGHING) Good morning, Mr. Forsythe. It's so nice to see you again.
Yes, well, it's nice to see you, Eugene.
I saw you on the golf match on TV. Very funny.
Funny, indeed. Well, I don't know what happened.
Yeah, well, golf isn't important. It's science.
Hope you have something interesting for me.
Yes. Well, listen...
Say, you should have seen our display last night, Eugene.
A new version of a helio-spectrogram. Quite remarkable.
Yes, the Medfield press predicted that State'll take first place with that one.
Well, the Medfield press isn't going to pick the winner of this contest.
Medfield's display today, Rutland tomorrow.
Then we'll let me make the announcement of the winner on Friday night,
won't we? Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Better believe it.
Okay, Schuyler, are you sure you got everything worked out?
I mean, you're not worried?
Don't worry about me.
I rise to the occasion when I perform in front of people.
Good. Now, look, as soon as you finish your act, just give Debbie the signal.
She'll pour the water on you. Believe me, this thing's gonna be terrific.
Right this way, Mr. Forsythe.
Good morning.
Distinguished deans, honorable scholars, please come right this way.
I think this would be a good place to watch from, sir.
This is Dexter Riley and his assistant.
Nice to know you, young people.
Yes, sir. Hi.
Well, young fellow, what've you got to show us?
Well, sir, I think we've come up with something very extraordinary on invisibility.
You're not kidding us, are you, Dean, hmm?
No. I mean, I don't think so.
Why don't you just sit down?
Let me explain the procedure to you,
so that no one will be alarmed.
Now, I'm going to spray this substance
on Mr. Schuyler and he will disappear.
He will then go to the table and raise those objects.
Mr. Schuyler will talk as he does this,
so that you will know that it's his invisible body raising the objects.
All right?
Now, watch closely.
You don't see me, but I am now walking toward the table.
Now, you will see a vase.
It is floating in the air.
But it is not floating in the air.
Although you cannot see me, I am holding the vase.
Schuyler!
I am now walking back to the table.
This ball.
It seems to be bouncing by itself.
However, it is not. It is I who am bouncing the ball.
We've had enough of this. Come along!
You call this science?
It's a disgrace to the academic world, that's what it is.
Don't apologize, Dean! I'm a busy man.
It may have been a simple error in the formula.
SCHUYLER: Well, I guess they've seen enough. I'm over here.
You can hit me with the water now.
I don't want to stay invisible too long.
Pretty good, huh? Hey, but listen, next time, try some lukewarm water.
Okay?
Hey, this isn't our formula. This is just colored water.
What do you mean? You didn't disappear.
You know, I don't understand it,
but somebody must've snuck in here and changed it.
I didn't? Yeah, but nobody knew about it but the three of us.
Oh, hi, kids. Hi, Charlie.
You mean I never was invisible?
Schuyler, you didn't tell anybody, did you?
Tell them what?
Charlie!
That other janitor, what's his name?
There's no other janitor.
Well, there was on Tuesday night.
There's no janitor who works here on Tuesday nights.
Part of Dean Higgins' economy plan.
(LAUGHS) And you know the dean.
Yeah, I do.
Thanks a lot.
So it was that fake janitor that made the switch, whoever he was.
I've seen that face somewhere before.
What face?
Arno's chauffeur.
Boy, Arno with that stuff could be murder.
I wonder what he's gonna do with it.
Yeah. And how are we going to find that out?
Maybe we should let him tell us.
Testing, one, two, three, four.
DEXTER: Loud and clear. Good luck.
Oh! Aren't those beautiful?
Yes, they are. They're for Mr. Arno. Oh, they're gorgeous!
Is he in?
Oh. Well, I'll take them in.
Um... No, I'm sorry, but there's a message involved.
We have to deliver them in person, you see.
There's a message for Mr. Arno.
Oh! I see. Okay, just a minute.
Mr. Arno, there are some delivery boys out here
with some flowers for you.
Flowers for me? Who'd be sending me flowers?
I don't know, sir.
Tell them to leave 'em.
Oh, well, sir, there's a message involved.
They say they have to deliver them in person.
All right, send them in.
Who'd be sending me flowers?
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Mr. Arno, sir. Yes?
These flowers are for you.
Ready? Yeah.
(BLOWING)
(ALL HUMMING)
ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to you
♪ Happy birthday to you
♪ Happy birthday, Mr. Arno
♪ Happy birthday to you
Signed E.J. Higgins, Dean of Medfield College.
But it isn't even my birthday. Now what's this all about?
Why's he sending me flowers?
Uh... I don't know, sir. Maybe he just likes you.
What?
Well, we can't take them back.
And it really does liven up your office, sir.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Cookie, take care of them, will you?
Oh, and they're plastic, too.
You don't have to water them.
Yeah. Just leave 'em alone and they'll last forever.
ARNO: Yeah, well, that's good to know. Thank you very much, boys.
I'll be sure to thank the dean when I see him. Goodbye.
(ALL EXCLAIM)
Okay, that takes care of the first part.
Now, look. We gotta set up a watch on this radio, day and night,
till we find out what's going on.
ARNO: (LAUGHING) Get a load of Dean Higgins sending me flowers.
He must really be in a panic.
Yeah. He must think I'm going to foreclose on him.
You know something, he's right!
(ALL LAUGHING)
All right, let's give us a little room, would you, please?
Well, what do you know, a bank taking in money. That's pretty good.
In this area, Friday's payday.
The bank cashes a lot of paychecks.
People coming in from all over.
So, if you ever need any dough on a Friday, Mr. Arno,
you know where to come to get it.
(LAUGHS) That's pretty good, Mike. That's pretty good.
So long, Mr. Arno. I'll be seeing you.
COOKIE: Twenty more points. I got you in a blitz.
You know, I wish you'd concentrate.
I feel like I'm taking advantage of your head.
You threw this eighter?
Again? Man, you are killing me.
I don't know why you threw me the eight.
You know I need the eight. Why'd you throw it?
What do you mean I know you needed the eight?
I needed the eight.
I did not know you needed the eight.
If I knew you needed the eight,
I never would have thrown it to you.
Okay, boys, put the cards away. We got business.
Big business.
ALFRED: What's up, chief?
Alfred, first of all, I want you to go out and get a car.
Something nondescript that people won't notice.
Use a phony name so it can't be traced back to us.
I'm on my way.
But his ice cream will melt.
Will you shut up and listen?
Cookie, this will be the first one of many.
Huh?
If there was a chance of getting caught,
I wouldn't try it, but there's no way.
Invisible men walk into the bank.
Spray the money invisible. Invisible men walk out.
The crime of the century.
COOKIE: What are you talking about?
Cookie, at exactly 1:00 today, you and I are hitting the Medfield Bank.
Vertical line, add on, using the principle of repetition,
we see what is commonly referred to as the Roman Keyhole Effect.
But this in fact can be traced back to the early Phoenicians.
Now, early Phoenician art can be traced back
to the Franco-Cantabian- Paleolithic age,
when the first implements fashioned
by the hand and mind of man appeared.
A fascinating question arises as to whether Western naturalistic art
ever made contact with the Caspian
and Neolithic pre-Egyptian world.
In order to study the Phoenician art form,
we must first investigate the lifestyle of the period
and the accomplishments of these people.
Psst!
(SIGHS) PROFESSOR: It is interesting to note...
SCHUYLER: Psst!
That the color purple
was first found by the early Phoenicians
in a Mediterranean shellfish...
Excuse me, Professor.
By the name of Murex...
Uh...
I... Excuse me.
That is found in the Mediterranean Sea.
An extract by the name of Murex.
Murex, which is spelled.
M...
M...
So, that's what they're planning.
If we can get that formula back, we can still win that award.
They don't announce the winner till tonight. Now, look, Schuyler.
You get down to the police and tell them what you overheard.
The rest of the guys and I will go down to the bank. Let's go!
Now, you're sure about this?
(STAMMERING) I...
I mean, you could be in an awful lot of trouble if you're wrong.
Yes, sir, I understand that. I'll guarantee it.
Yeah, all right. I...
Burns, I think that you'd better go around and warn all the tellers.
But, Mr. Sampson... (EXCLAIMING)
I'm not saying shoot to kill.
Just to keep an eye on him, that's all.
Excuse me, sir, but keeping an eye on him won't do any good.
It won't? Why not?
Well... You won't be able to see them.
What?
You see, they'll be invisible.
And they'll make the money invisible, too.
So (SIGHS)
you really won't see anything.
You'll just find the money gone. That's all.
And how do you propose to stop all this?
Well, in order to make the money visible again,
all we have to do is wet them down.
Wet them down?
Wet them down. I see.
I suppose you're suggesting that we drive
a fire truck right in here to the bank.
Something like that?
I didn't mean that exactly, but...
This is the biggest bunch of nonsense I've ever heard in my life.
Burns, you may return to your duties.
Good day, Mr. Riley.
Mr. Sampson...
(GROANS)
What happened?
What'd he say?
No soap, huh? He wouldn't believe us.
Ah, nobody believes us.
Hey, guys! How'd it go?
DEXTER: Nothing. But what did the police say?
Ah, they said I was nuts.
It's enough to drive you crazy.
We could solve the school's problems and save the bank too,
if we could just get somebody to listen to us!
Wait a second. Water!
Don't you see? Look, some of you guys get down to the hardware store
and get some fire hose and a wrench.
Hurry up! We haven't got much time left!
Let's go. Come on. Let's go.
Nice.
Hey, hey. Here he comes.
Get down!
COOKIE: Hey, how about this? A spot right in front of the joint.
ARNO: Just don't hit the car in back of you, stupid.
Come on. Hurry up. Those guys are in there already.
Come on. Hurry.
(GROANS) A few more of these and we can break for lunch.
It's about time. My stomach's been growling for the last hour.
Why don't we go to Eddy's? He's got great chili, you know.
(EXCLAIMS)
We don't have to have chili. We could have hot dogs and beans.
What's the matter with you? (GROANS)
ARNO: Okay, Cookie, spray all the loot, then put that thing under your coat.
COOKIE: Gotcha, boss.
Hey! This stuff really works!
Okay, let's get out of here.
Come on, Schuyler, step on it!
I am! I am!
Will you hurry? They're gonna be out of there in a second!
It's stuck! I bet nobody's turned it in years.
Give it all you got!
COOKIE: You know, this money's heavier than I thought.
ARNO: Will you keep quiet?
Come on, they're getting away!
Schuyler!
Got it! Got it!
What in the world is...
BOY 1: Those are the wrong guys!
BOY 2: Cut it off!
They're heading for the West End.
Yeah, look, Schuyler, you and Dick get down to Taylor Street.
See if you can't block 'em off at Osborne.
Burns, what's happened?
I don't know. I was just standing here and the lights went out.
That kid was right. Why didn't you listen to him?
Operator, get me the police.
(WHEEZES)
(HORNS HONKING)
COOKIE: Nice day, Officer.
COOKIE: Hey, it's them kids!
What do we do, boss? We're trapped.
ARNO: I'll show you.
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Everybody stay down!
Oh, no.
ARNO: Okay, you kids, clear out or we're coming out to get you!
Dexter, maybe we'd better be on our way.
Schuyler, stay behind your car.
(SIREN WAILING)
COOKIE: Now we got cops. I don't like it.
The police! Come on, Sergeant.
We got 'em trapped.
Hey, no, watch out! Watch out!
Look out! Get behind your car, Sergeant!
What's going on here? Let's get these cars out of here.
I got to get to a bank robbery.
But we got the robbers trapped in that car.
You what?
You can't see them, that's all.
Don't you give me any more of that invisible nonsense.
I had enough of that down at the station!
You know something, boy?
I'm beginning to believe you.
Shall we shoot, Sarge?
What at?
ARNO: Okay, let's get out of here.
COOKIE: You're the boss.
Hey! They're going to ram us. Let's go.
BOY: Let's get out of here!
My insurance!
Hey, Murph, they hit our unit!
Come on, Murphy, let's get that thing!
(SIREN WAILING)
SCHUYLER: Dexter, a car! DEXTER: Hold on!
(HORN BLARING)
COOKIE: Now we're in trouble. The cops are getting closer.
ARNO: Yeah, you're telling me.
I got it! Spray the car invisible.
Boss, you're a genius. Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
Will you hurry up? We haven't got all day.
Yeah, yeah.
(SIREN WAILING)
Ah! There's no cop on earth could touch us now.
Go to the right of that truck, Murph.
Slow down, it's an intersection.
Don't worry, Sarge, it's clear as a bell.
COOKIE: It's the cop's car! How could he hit us?
ARNO: Because he didn't see us.
Now, come on, let's get out of here.
(TIRES SQUEALING)
What'd you hit?
I don't really know.
I bet they sprayed the car invisible.
You know something, Murphy, I think he's right.
Well, we hit something, Sarge.
Well, see you, Sarge.
BOTH: Wait a minute.
Crazy kids. Look out, Murphy!
Attention, all cars.
Bank robbers now headed south on Osborne Street near 10th.
(SIGHING)
In an invisible car.
OFFICER: An invisible what, Sarge?
You heard me, I said invisible car.
Now there's a bunch of kids in a dune buggy
that's probably tailing them right now.
When you see 'em, close in. Out.
That's the problem with the department. No imagination.
What's so strange about an invisible car?
Nothing.
We can't be too far behind him.
Yeah. Keep your eyes open for anything.
Hey, there he is! There he is, man.
ARNO: Stop, you're gonna hit those guys!
COOKIE: I can't. The kids are right behind me.
There he is! Hey, look out!
DEBBIE: Look out!
ARNO: Watch it. COOKIE: What?
Watch it. What?
Watch it!
DEBBIE: (SCREAMS) We're gonna get wet! DEXTER: Hold on!
(SCHUYLER EXCLAIMS)
Hey, what'd you go up on the sidewalk for?
Look, do you want to drive?
Yeah, well, there's no top. Be careful.
Yeah. All right. All right.
Sergeant Cassidy, come in, please.
This is Sergeant Cassidy.
The invisible vehicle eluded us.
He's evidently following Fowler Street out of town.
Have your men follow three abreast,
I'll have the highway patrol set up a roadblock near the park. Out.
Roger.
He won't get away from us this time, Murph.
Not this time.
(ARNO LAUGHING)
ARNO: They think they got us!
Pull over to the side of the road. Let the kids go by.
SCHUYLER: Hey, those guys aren't doing anything.
We must've passed right by 'em.
ARNO: Now, Cookie, take us home.
We'll hit the showers and set up our alibi.
COOKIE: Okay, boss, but I hope you know what you're doing.
What happened to the invisible car?
Probably let you slip by them, then went back the other way.
But don't worry, we'll get him.
In fact, he's practically in our hands right now.
COOKIE: We lost 'em. ARNO: Sure.
Oh, no! Down the bridle path.
(HORN HONKING)
(HORSES WHINNYING)
COOKIE: Hey, get them nags out of the way here!
(HONKING CONTINUES)
Yes, Sergeant. He broke through the bridle trail
and headed down Peppertree Lane.
He's probably heading south.
I'll alert the Riverton Police Department.
In the meantime, your units can head on down there.
Right, Sergeant. Officer, can I speak to the sergeant?
I'm sorry, it's for official use only.
You see, I gotta speak to him. He's all wrong.
Yeah, I'm sure of that.
All right, fellas, move out for Riverton.
Where to now? To see Sergeant Cassidy.
Why? Because I think he's wrong.
(SIRENS WAILING)
I wonder what Cassidy'll say this time.
Whoever did this is just like any other crook.
He's got the money,
now all he wants to do is get as far away from this town as possible.
And if you ask me, he's on his way to Riverton right now.
But Arno's different.
He'll want to come back, become visible and establish an alibi.
Now, son, that's just a guess.
We've got this whole thing pretty well figured out.
It's about time you got here.
I'm sorry, Sarge.
They had me out looking for an invisible car.
Now I think the department's going nuts.
You do, huh? (SCOFFS)
Come on, let's get to Riverton.
We might as well go on home. We've done all we can here.
Hey, wait a second. We got to get my car.
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that thing.
What do you mean, "that thing"?
ARNO: Look out for the police car! Look out!
That's him. By golly, the kid was right, Murph.
Attention, all units.
Invisible car now going north on Osborne.
How could you expect us to change the tire
when you haven't got a spare?
You could've patched it or something.
You guys had plenty of time.
You can't patch that thing. Look at it. (SIRENS WAILING)
Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You guys hear those sirens?
They must've found Arno.
Hey, it sounds like he's headed for Highland Park.
Yeah! That's where Arno lives.
Listen, Chester Avenue is the only way in there.
So if we block it off, we've got him caged in, right?
Right. Let's go!
Hey, how am I gonna get there? I got a flat tire.
Ride your rim.
DEXTER: Come on, Schuyler, bring it over here!
I'm coming. I'm coming.
Schuyler, hurry up!
I can't! I think I'm out of gas!
Oh, no. Oh, boy!
Come on, let's shove him in. Come on.
DEXTER: Come on! Let's go.
Hurry up.
Come on! DEXTER: Push!
ARNO: Is this as fast as this thing'll go?
COOKIE: I got it floored, boss.
I don't know what more you want me to do.
Oh, no! Go through there.
Yeah, gotcha. Yeah.
(SCREAMS) We're out of control, boss!
Let's go. Come on.
(ALL CHATTERING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Oh, my God!
(ALL MURMURING)
What happened? What happened?
Why, you idiot!
There they are! The pool.
There's the formula!
It's over there.
(ALL CLAMORING)
Boss, I can't swim. Good!
Don't just stand around. Let's get 'em out of there.
Keep an eye on them.
Pull them out. Get 'em over to the police car.
You stupid... CASSIDY: Hey, knock it off!
Knock it off. Get 'em over there.
BOY: Come on. Got it!
Got it!
There still might be time. Let's go. Come on. Hurry!
Hurry, hurry!
Look at him.
The winner won't be announced for five minutes
and there he is, accepting congratulations.
The man is disgusting.
Well, that improvement in the helio-spectrogram was really something.
I'm afraid he just deserves to win.
He does not!
If Druffle hadn't been bitten by those bumble bees,
we'd have had this thing locked up.
He's winning by forfeit.
He's always pulling something like this.
I tell you, the man's behavior is practically criminal.
Eugene, how nice to see you.
Hello, Collingsgood. Congratulations.
Oh, you can't congratulate me now.
There are four minutes left.
We don't even know who won yet.
Oh, there's Mr. Forsythe on the platform now. Will you excuse me?
I want to get close so I don't have to fight through the crowd
when the announcement is made.
Certainly. Certainly.
He doesn't know who the winner is going to be,
but he wants to be close so he doesn't have to fight his way through the crowd.
(SCOFFS)
BOY: I hope we're not too late.
Forsythe, wait a second! Hold on!
(STUDENTS CLAMORING)
Forsythe. Have you announced the winner yet?
No. No... Okay, we've still got time then.
We got it! We really got it.
The real formula got stolen and we just got it back.
Now, if you'll let us demonstrate,
it'll just take a second.
Well, it sounds unbelievable, but go ahead.
Thanks. Okay, Schuyler, get over there.
Oh, no, not with the invisibility again!
They're not going to get away with it this time.
Okay, I'm ready.
Now if you just watch close, it only takes two squirts.
Stop that!
Sorry, Dean, I didn't mean to get it on...
You didn't disappear.
He's still there.
Of course I didn't disappear!
Can you get it through your thick heads, once and for all,
nobody is going to disappear?
I don't know why they insist on ridiculing me.
First that Schuyler walks around with vases,
pretending like he's invisible...
Something's happened. What?
Smells like chlorine. It does.
Wait a minute. Maybe some pool water got into it.
Maybe it's just diluted. I'm telling you for the last time,
there is no such thing as invisibility!
Hey, hey! BOY: There it goes, huh?
I think I'll go home.
You should too, Lufkin, you're getting that blank look again.
(ALL CHATTERING)
Congratulations once more, Collingsgood.
You ought to start working out.
Your grip isn't what it used to be.
Goodbye, folks.
(ALL SCREAMING)
People certainly get carried away at these parties.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Thanks for the invitation, Mr. Forsythe.
What's the matter with everyone? Have they gone crazy?
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
My dear fella, you ought to get other work.
You're making everybody nervous.
I've never seen people act so strange.
I wonder what was in that champagne. I'll have to...
(SCREAMS)
Hey! Hey!
What's he doing lying on the floor?
Oh, what a dream. Wait a minute, I'm here?
It wasn't a dream?
It certainly wasn't.
Dean Eugene Higgins,
I take great pride
in presenting this check to Medfield College,
$50,000,
the Forsythe Science Award,
for your massive contribution to the advancement of science.
Gee, that was close!
You know, we just won the award by the skin of our teeth.
DEXTER: We sure did.
At least Higgins can pay off that $50,000 mortgage now.
So, I guess the school's good for another year.
Yeah, but that's the problem.
He was able to come up with $50,000 this year
because you invented invisibility.
But next year, he's got to come up with $50,000 again.
Yeah, plus, I discovered invisibility by accident.
How many times is something like that gonna happen?
Don't start borrowing trouble.
This year's all taken care of, right?
And as far as next year is concerned, don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.
by Barel