Novocaine (2001) - full transcript

Dr. Frank Sangster is a straight-laced dentist who because of one innocent lie, finds his tidy, prosperous life transformed into a comic quagmire of illicit sex, illegal drugs and inexplicable murder in this brilliantly offbeat, bitingly comedic film!

A person can lose a lot of things.

He can lose his soul.
He can lose his life.

But I've always said the worst thing
a man can lose is his teeth.

It's true.
I should know!

Are you listening to me, Mike?
Because I'm dead serious here.

- Come on, Mike.
- I am definitely not pleased.

- You haven't been flossing, have you?
- Frank, I have been trying.

Jean, hit the video.
I want to record this.

Okay, Doctor.

This is the new inter-oral camera
we've been using. I love it.

- Why is it in that box?
- Fireproofing.

All our data is fireproofed
for the insurance company.

I know it's expensive,
but it's not a toy.

Now, eyes on the monitor.
I want to show you something.

- Relax, Mike. Breathe.
- Move that tongue out of the way.

Other way.
Out of the way.

- Mike, just unroll it.
- Unroll it, Mike.

Now, here's the problem area.
This tender?

How about here?

That's what I thought.
Let's set him up for a temporary on 21.

- We'll fix him up next week.
- Booked solid.

- How about two weeks Tuesday?
- Fine. Slide me the tank, please.

And by the way, you know that
malpractice insurance we talked about--

I know. You told me. You moved
everything into the new corporation.

This way you're totally protected.

The house, the practice,
the money market accounts.

- You told him that.
- Hold on.

The beauty of this thing is
all of your holdings...

are protected
under the new corporation.

Just relax. I promise
not to drill too deep.

- Come on.
- Too deep? Wait a minute.

Just lean back, big fella, and watch
the film. It's one of my favorites.

Movie's in.
Breathe deep.

I think you're gonna like this one.

It's about a postman
in the south of France.

Rides around on his bicycle all day,
delivering mail.

Beautiful place.
Rolling hills, sunflowers.

Sometimes I really envy him.
You know what I mean, Mike?

- I'd say he's out, wouldn't you?
- I'd say so, Doctor.

- Anyone waiting in the office?
- Yes.

Edwin Hamada is due at 11:00,
but he said he'll be late.

Well, in that case--

Jean was my fianc?e...

the kind of all-American woman
who could cook a perfect banana bread...

then turn around
and reorganize the entire office...

and still look great
at the end of the day.

Plus, she was the most
meticulous hygienist I ever had.

- She even practiced on weekends.
- Perfect.

Needless to say,
I was her guinea pig.

She was bright.

She was cheerful.

She was voracious.

And then there was
my office manager, Pat.

Between the two of them,
I couldn't make a false move.

Good morning.

You may think dental elves come in
at night and do the paperwork...

but believe me,
it is no picnic running an office...

when the dentist isn't even here.

You're the only dental elf here. We
both know I couldn't do it without you.

And don't try
to butter me up either.

Now, the MacArthur--

The MacArthur twins
will be here in 15 minutes...

so I suggest you put down
that coffee and get to work.

Who's up?

New patient, Susan Ivey, room three.

Room three it is,
and I'll see you at lunch, darling Pat.

Looks pretty perfect, doesn't it?
I thought it was too.

Yet somehow I couldn't shake the feeling
that perfect was just an illusion.

And then I turned the corner,
and there she was.

I'm sorry I'm late.
I had a little--

Little, Doctor?

Had a little car trouble.
So, what can I do for you?

It's my tooth.
I woke up last night screaming.

I thought somebody
was hammering a nail into my jaw.

All right, well,
let's have a look.

- Anything the matter?
- No, it was the perfume.

Sorry about that.
I was so frazzled...

I spilled it all over myself.

That's all right.

I'll survive.

All right,
let's take a look, shall we?

You're not gonna hurt me,
are you, Doctor?

- Of course not.
- Promise me.

All right, I promise.

Open up.

- You see something?
- As a matter of fact, yes.

You have a bad tooth there.
Definitely needs a root canal.

I knew something was wrong.

I have some time this afternoon.
After lunch all right?

No, sorry, I can't today.
How about tomorrow?

It would have to be
in the morning, say, 7:30?

- 7:30 would be fine.
- All right.

One more thing. Can I have something
for the pain? I can hardly think.

Give this a try.

- Two every four hours.
- Thanks.

No, this I'm allergic to.

What really worked before
was this other thing--

I forget the name.
Dem-- Dem-- Dem-- something.

- Demerol?.
- Right. That's it. Demerol.

That worked really well.

I'm sorry.
I'm not that kind of dentist.

What kind of dentist?

You know the kind.
I could lose my license.

My last dentist
prescribed it to me all the time.

Then get it from him.

Please, Doctor.

You promised it wouldn't hurt.

Five tablets.



Five will do.

I trust people,
but I'm no dummy.

I knew she was scamming me, and I
should have thrown her out right then...

but I didn't.

You see,
that's the nature of attraction.

You find yourself doing things,
and you have no idea why...

but you do them anyway.

Good night, Dr. Frank.
Don't stay too late.

- Good night, Pat.
- You have a 7:30 tomorrow.

All right, I promise.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Dr. Sangster.
- Hiya, Doc.

Wayne Ponce, Lincoln Pharmacy.
Got a scrip here.

Name's Susan Ivey.

- Is she yours?
- That's right. Scrip for Demerol.

Fine. Hang on.


She's a looker, huh?

Yeah, I guess.
Well, good night.

By the way,
50 tabs is way over the limit.

Next time I won't fill it.

- You mean five.
- No, I mean fifty.

That's what it said--
"Demerol, 50. "

- Put her on a minute, would you?
- She's gone.

If she's gone, why are you calling me
to check on a prescription?

Look, friend,
I've got a business to run here.

So while you were yammering,
I rang her up.

Now, if you've got a problem,
you better tell me...

so I can call the authorities.

No problem.

Good night.

- Problem ?
- No problem.

Just a pharmacist checking
on a scrip. You leaving?

Yeah, if that's okay. I've got to
pick up my gi at the cleaners.

I have tae kwon do tomorrow night.
Wanna come?

No, thanks.

You sure?
The exercise might do you good.

You saying I'm out of shape?

Let's just say
you could tone up a bit.

Just a little bit.
See you tonight.

Good night.

Tell you what.

Maybe I have a better idea.

I thought we talked about that.
Not in the chair.

You sure? You never know.
You might like it.

I'm not here to fulfill
your secret fantasies.

But tonight...

if you're good, in bed.

It was the first time
I'd ever lied to Jean.

Lying is a lot like
tooth decay really.

A particle of food becomes embedded
behind a tooth...

and there it sits,
working its way in behind the enamel...

rotting it from the inside out...

until there 's nothing left
to do but pull it.

One small lie...

and everything unravels from there.

Jesus Christ.

I painted your fucking
cabinets for ya.

Get up!

Just give me a minute.

Come on.
Give me your hand.

- Come on. Help me.
- Watch the suit.

Help me up.

- Got ya.
- Come on!

I told ya, I can't get up.

What the hell's
the matter with you?

I took some shit
from the cabinet over there.

- How many?
- I don't know. Five, ten.

- Come on!
- It's all medicine.

Right, you asshole?

Yeah! Who's the asshole now,
huh, friend? Come on!

They say home is the place
where when you get there...

they can't turn you away.

I guess for my brother Harlan,
I was home.

I'd never done anything wrong
to him, but somehow...

I always felt
I owed him something.

Give m e a couple of shots of Jack
straight up and two Rolling Rocks.

- One drink, Harlan.
- It's a reunion. Come on.

Make them doubles. Thanks.

This is nice.

Very nice.

You know what, Frank?
I blew it.

You didn't blow it.
You just screwed up a little.

Thank you.

To brothers.

One a success and one a loser.

Ease up on yourself,
would ya, Harlan?

You know,
I know I've been a real jerk.

Christ, I deserve where I am right now.
But that's true, isn't it?

I started off same as you.

Same parents, same genes.

Relax. I already said
you could stay.

If I follow the rules.

Hey, Christ. Maybe it's supposed
to be like this, right?

- Like what?
- You with everything, me with nothing.

But what am I going
to do about it, cry?

Sometimes you act like everything
just fell into my lap.

What, you mean like Jean?

You steer way clear of her, understand?
You just keep your distance.

Why doesn't she like me?

Why do you think?

Get out.
Just shut the fuck up!

All right,
I'll shut the fuck up.

You little fuck!
Get the fuck--

Get out of here! I don't wanna
see you around here again!

- All right.
- Get the fuck outta here.

- Sorry.
- Get outta here!

Fuckin' little guy--


Okay! Enough!
You won!


You fucking telling me to relax?

Take it easy, friend.

Friend? You don't want me
to hit him, friend?

- You my friend?
- Don't look at me, man.

Maybe you better get going
before the spaceship takes off.

- What?
- The cops are coming. Sirens.

You just got lucky.

Nice fuckin' friend.

The next day was a disaster
the minute I walked into work.

Please, call her!
She's driving me crazy.

- Mr. Smith is not having a great day.
- Let me take a look.

- We got a six-millimeter pocket on 29.
- Let me take a look.

- Want me to irrigate that?
- Yes, please.

- Would you mind opening?
- It's gonna be fine, Dad.

Let's see what's in there.

Wait. Okay, yeah.

You got--Just let go. Ouch.

It's okay, Mr. Smith.

- Will you take care--
- I got it. Somebody's in three.

- This isn't the price you quoted me.
- What's the problem?

This is not the price you quoted me.

- $3,500 for two veneers?
- That's our regular price.

- Can I get back to you on this?
- No, you can't get back to me.

- Here. It's gone. The bill is--
- He didn't mean that.

- You still owe that.
- No, I don't.

- What's the problem here?
-Joyce has a problem.

- Here we are.
- Your glove.

Now, what is the problem?

Not set. Okay.
We got a-- All right.

Just pull it out like that.
I see what you mean.

That is tight.
That is tight.

I can get that-- Pull it.

Normally I don't mind when a patient
misses an appointment...

but this time I did.

Two, four, six, eight, ten.

- So what happened, Frank?
- When?

When do you think?

Was something supposed to happen?

Oh, I guess not.

What are we talking about here?

I guess you forgot, but we did have
a date last night. Remember?

Christ. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

My brother showed up last night.

Your brother?
Are you kidding?

He painted my bathroom red,
and I found him out of it on the floor.

I told him
if he says one word he's out.

I made that very clear to him.

- He's staying with you?
- Yeah.

After what he did?
He practically molested me.

But he was drunk.

He's my brother.
I just can't put him out.

Everything is gonna be fine.
Everything is gonna be all right.

Come on.
Give me a smile, please.

Come on. Please.
I need it.

Hi. Hope I'm not late.

For what?

My appointment, silly.

I hope you don't mind, but I brought
a few things. I can't stand pain.

Why are you shaking your head?

You were supposed to be here
at 7:30 this morning.

This morning?
I thought you meant 7:30 at night.

Look, I'm not giving you
any more prescriptions...

so you might as well go home.

I came here for you to fix my tooth.
That's all.

Now, are you gonna do this or not?

Can I at least have a beer first?

Root canals and beer don't mix.

Would you please not play with that?

You're really by the book,
aren't you?

- Don't you ever break the rules?
- No beer.

Lean back and bite down on this.

Bet you think you're
a real bad boy, don't you?

Do you want me to do this
or don't you?

Okay, bite down. Easy.

Keep your head still.

- Did you move during the X ray?
- No.

Put this back,
and don't play with that.

- Aren't you forgetting something?
- Sorry.

- Open up.
- Can I ask you something?

- Go ahead.
- Ever date any of your patients?

Please, no more personal questions.
Just open your mouth.

Can I ask you
a professional question?

If you absolutely have to.

Ever do it in the chair?

Tell you what.
Let's reschedule this for another day.

- Do I make you uncomfortable?
- As a matter of fact, yes.

I don't think you're very happy
with any of this.

Is that a fact?

Lean forward, please.

Tell me something.

It's 9:00 at night.
What are you still doing here, Frank?

Working on your teeth.

People's mouths are important to me.

And mine?

Yours too.

Know what I think?

What is it you think?

I think maybe you can use
that drink after all.

Oh, baby.

Come on.

Wonderful World of Hyenas.
You ever watch this?

- I missed it.
- It's hilarious. Where you been?

I had a meeting.

It went pretty late, huh?

You mind if I ask you
a personal question?

What's that?

You wouldn't be stepping out on your
pretty little fianc?e, would you?

What do you mean by that, Harlan?

You blew her off two nights in a row.
I don't know.

How do you know that?

Well, she came by looking for you.

Let me tell you something.
Right now there is no greater wrath...

than a woman scorned.

I'm not answering.

I'm not.

About last night--

You a painter, Mrs. Langston?
Sally, get me two cc's Procaine...

and an ampule of
cocaine hydrochloride, would you?

- Right away, Doctor.
- And a half a dozen long swabs.

We're gonna fix you up in one minute.

Look at that countryside.
That's beautiful, isn't it?

- Have you ever been to France?
- No, never been.

One day.

I love this film.

- Holy shit.
- What?

Nothing, Mrs. Langston.

Just keep your eyes closed.
That's very important in this.

- What's going on?
- I'm just getting an instrument.

It's all part of the procedure.
It's very crucial...

that you keep
your eyes closed because...

it can affect the teeth.

I'm gonna go talk
to the doctor right now.

Excuse me, Doctor.
Could I speak to you for a moment?

Absolutely. I'll be right there.
Could you take over, please?

It's gonna be okay,
but we have a problem.

- I know, but we need to talk--
- I'm not talking about that.

- Has Harlan been into the office?
- No, why?

Are you sure?
You're absolutely sure?

Yes, definitely.
What's going on?

- We're missing narcotics.
- What do you mean?

I looked into the fridge,
and we've been cleaned out.

Wait, wait, wait.

Honey, that's not all.

- What else?
- There's a man here...

from the DEA.

He's in your office, and he wants
to speak to you. Here's what you do.

Just breathe.
Just let it go.

Let go, okay?
Don't talk too much.

Honey, you look good.

Dr. Sangster, Melvin Gelding,
Drug Enforcement Agency.

Our records indicate that
you have 2,000 cc's of Valium...

800 milligrams of
cocaine hydrochloride...

and 3,000 milligrams
of various other narcotics.

- Is that correct?
- That sounds about right.

Excuse me for asking this,
but do you always keep...

such a large amount of drugs on hand?

Well, I do a lot
of reconstructive surgery...

and I also have a pain clinic
here on the weekends.

Mind if I ask why?

We had an 18-year-old kid drive
his mother's car off a cliff last night.

- Be in a wheelchair for life.
- I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah, really sad.


he was carrying this.

Any idea how he might have gotten
a hold of that?

It would have been so easy
just to tell him right there...

but then I never
would have seen her again.

I have no idea.

You didn't happen to
sell it to him, did ya?

- Maybe by accident?
- Of course not.

Super. You don't seem the type.

Would you mind if I just had
a teeny peek at your narcotics supply?

Well, actually, that's impossible.

Oh, sure.

- Could I ask why?
- They've all been dispensed.

We've had some of those narcotics on our
shelves for the better part of a year.

That makes sense.

In that case,
could I see the empty containers?

I'm sorry, but we don't keep
the empty containers here.

They're actually in storage.

Oh, boy.
This is a bit of a pickle, huh?

I hate to remind you of the terrible
predicament you'd find yourself in...

if we were to discover
you were selling drugs.

Well, I wasn't.
I already told you that.

Just the same, if you were...

we'd have to go ahead
and pull your license...

and then prosecute you
to the fullest extent of the law.

I'm sure you understand.


I'm gonna need
those empty vials, so...

I'll swing back in,
say, two days...

and you have them ready, okay?

Have a super day, Doctor.

I'll let myself out.

It's nothing to worry about.
It was just a misunderstanding.

Could you get me Mr. Rosenberg's file,
please? Thank you.

What happened about the narcotics?

That was my fault.
I didn't tell you.

I took all the stuff back
to the pharmacy last night.

You did?

Apparently, they recalled
the whole batch.

It seems they'd all gone bad. That's
what he and I were just talking about.

But I just talked to Pat,
and she didn't tell me anything--

Pat didn't know, because the call
came in after Pat had gone home.

We're getting
a whole fresh inventory tomorrow.

It's really stupid of me not to tell.
I should have told you.

- It was stupid of you.
- That's where I was last night.

I went to the pharmacy, and afterwards
I had drinks with the pharmacist.

I had one too many.

Well, I could tell.
I could smell it on your breath.

- Plus you look like hell.
- I know. I do.

- So, you think you can forgive me?
- No.

- Come on.
- No.

- I know you do.
- I know you know I do.

Honey, you need to get
that haircut today, okay?

- Remember?
- All right.

- I got lipstick on you.
- It's okay. Bye.

Now I gotta go wash my hands.

There was that decay again,
just like a cavity.

The lies were deepening,
and the rot was spreading.

- What do you need?
- I'm just looking for something.

- I'll get it for you.
- No, I can find it.

It's just a file.
You can keep doing what you're doing.

- Your handkerchief's falling out.
- What handkerchief?

Your little red hanky--

Don't you have anything better to do
than to watch my every move?

- I'm sorry.
- Fine.

I think I'll take my break.

I'm looking for Susan Ivey.
Is she there?

Who you looking for?

Nope. Jimmy, my son-in-law,
he was on last night.

Any way to get in touch with him?

Are you from the Alcohol Bureau?

- No. Just a friend.
- If you're just a friend...

how come you don't know
where she's at?

Any way to call Jimmy and ask him?

Well, there's a fight
on pay-per-view tonight.

- Maybe I can catch him at home.
- That'd be great. Thanks.

You got pay-per-view at home?

I didn't think so.

Jimmy? That you?

Listen, I got a guy looking
after a customer from last night.

A little gal.
She had a fur collar on her coat.

- Try the motel.
- All right. I'll see you later.

Try the motel just past the off-ramp.

The Golden Slumber,
I think it's called.

If it's the same girl,
he thinks she was staying there.

- I wanna play a little game.
- Yeah?

I wanna play a little game
where we dance a little bit.

Just a little bit.
We're not doing anything, just dancing.

Okay, quick.

I love you more than the world

What are you doing?
Stay with me.

I'm sensing, like,
you're pushing me away.

I'm not pushing you away.

Just don't want to do this anymore.
You're my brother.

Come here.
Why are you acting like this?

Please don't do this.
You know I hate this.

- No? Do you love me?
- Of course I love you.

- Then act like it.
- I love you.

I love you too.
Give me a little kiss.

Give me a little kiss.

Get away!

What are you doing right now?
What are you doing?

We're not doing this anymore.
You're my brother!

You be here when I get back!

- It's me, Frank Sangster.
- Who?

It's the dentist.

So, you finally made it.

- What happened to your nose?
- I bumped into the door.

Close it, would you?

I want you to give back
what you took from me.

- Sorry?
- You know what I'm talking about.

No, I really don't.
Did you lose something?

I'll tell you what.

Give back what you took and I promise
I won't say a word to anybody.

- But I didn't take anything.
- Bullshit.

Look, I thought you came here
for something else.

You better go now.

All right, enough.
Look, you're a drug addict.

You know it, I know it. Last night,
I had a fridge full of narcotics.

This morning they were gone.

- So?
- So don't make me call the police.

Go ahead and call.

Yes, this is Dr. Frank Sangster--

Okay, you win.

Susan, look,
I don't want to threaten you.

I just need the drugs back.

My brother took it all.

- Where is he?
- Who knows?

Selling it somewhere.

What's the drift?
You roll into town.

You line up a few dentists--
Or do you hit doctors too?

Dentists are easier.
They're dumber. No offense.

Gee, thanks.

Look, it's nothing personal.

It's just what I do.

- It's not like I like it.
- So why do you do it?

Like I said, I have a brother.

- Leave him.
- He finds me.

Is that what happened to your nose?

Don't try and solve my problems,
all right? I can do that myself.

Yeah, I can tell.

When's he coming back?

Who knows?

Maybe a day or two.

Listen to me.
You tell him he has two days.

If I don't get the stuff back by then,
I'm gonna have to call the cops.

- You going?
- I have to.

Could you just--

Could you just stay
until I fall asleep?


You know, you're kind of sweet
in a dentist sort of a way.

Gee, thanks.

- Know what I wish?
- What's that?

My brother--

I just wish he'd go away.

Just disappear and leave me alone.

- Know what else?
- What?

I sort of like you too.


That night, I couldn't keep
my mind from wandering.

Hey. Where are you?

- What do you mean?
- You seem a little far away tonight.

No, I'm right here.

It went out the window...

down the rain-slickened interstate...

to a crumbling cinder-block motel.

Oh, perfect.

Jean never knew the difference.

At least I didn't think she did.

- Dr. Sangster?
- What is it, Billy?

Scaler, please.

You have a million tiny hai rs
growing out of your face.

Do I?

Dr. Sangster,
I think you better come quick.

It's okay.

I know I'm not supposed to bother you,
but this man came in.

When Pat said you couldn't see him
right away, he started going crazy.

- Christ! Now shut up!
- I want you out of here right now!

- Shut up!
- Don't you tell me to shut up!

- You the dentist?
- That's right!

- You're the guy from the bar.
- What are you doing here?

- Now, you listen to me.
- No, you listen.

- I want you out of here right now.
- Shut the fuck up and listen to me.

I'm not gonna say this again.
Stay the fuck away from my sister!

- I don't know who your sister is.
- I think you do, friend.

- And I don't appreciate your threats.
- What's going on here?

Your boss here is making threats
to my sister.

What sister?

- Frank?
-Just shut the fuck up.

You have no right
to talk to her that way, animal!

- You shut the fuck up too!
- I am calling the police.

Look, just come back to my office.
We can talk in private.

I'm not gonna talk to you
in private, you fucking homo!

That's it! Please leave.

- I won't! You gonna make me go?
- Back up and get behind me.

You got a problem?
You got a problem?

Jean, take it easy.

You're tall.

- I like tall women.
- Then stand up. I'm sorry.

- That's enough.
- You're already standing.

Go back to the office
and give us a minute.

Don't even look at me. What?

Lay one finger on him,
and I swear to God I'll make you pay.

- Can't wait.
- Leave us alone a few minutes.

Give us a few seconds, all right?
Please! Please!

All right.
You better watch yourself.

Go away!

- What the fuck are you looking at?
- Just go in the back!

- Your sister told me what's going on.
-Jesus Christ!

What did she do?
Blow you? Fuck you a couple times?

That's what she does
to get drugs, stupid!

Perfect. Just what I need.
Harlan, get out!

Anyway, who gives a fuck?
It's a victimless crime!

How about beating her up?

Is that what she told you?

Just shut up. You do not know
what you're talking about.

You want your precious little vials
with your name on 'em?

It's too bad,
because they're already gone.

Yeah, fuck!
Jesus, you're stupid. Jesus Christ!

Wait a minute.

I don't ever, ever
want to see you again, okay?

Because if I do-- If I do,
I'm gonna have to hurt you, okay?

You understand? You understand.
I'm gonna take your pen, okay?

I can't believe you lied to me.

I didn't know if you'd believe me.

You'd think I'd suspect you
of stealing drugs?

I didn't know what you'd think.
All I know is...

the narcotics were there
the day before.

So you lied to me...

and then you went to this girl's
hotel room to threaten her?

I didn't threaten her. I told her
I wanted the narcotics back...

or I was gonna go to the cops.

Why didn't you just call them
from the start?

You know what happens
when you bring in the cops.

Suddenly the thing spins out of control.
I'm trying to protect my license.

- You're in some kind of trouble, right?
- No, I'm not.

How many times do I have to tell you
I'm not in trouble?

Come on.

- That guy really scared me today.
- I know.

That pissed me off.

We're never gonna see that guy again.
I promise you that.

- I'll call you tonight.
- Be careful.

- Bye.
- Be safe, Frank. Seriously.

Look, I'm just a dentist.

I'm just a dentist.

Look, I'm just a dentist.

Look, I don't think
we should see each other anymore.

I don't think we should see each other--
Look, just--

Just don't-- Okay.

Your brother came by
my office today.

I guess you told him
about me coming here.

Bad day today.
Really bad day.

You know, I've had
a lot of questions lately.

- Are you a dumb motherfucker or what?
- Shit!

Oh, shit is right,
you dumb fuck.

Didn't I tell you
I didn't want to see you again?

I made an honest mistake.
I'm leaving.

You're not leaving, because then
I would have made an empty threat.

I don't make empty threats.

Just stay where you are.
Stay back!

Are you gonna stab me?
Put 'em down before you hurt yourself.

- I'm serious!
- Put 'em down, you fucking asshole!

I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Hey there, pal.
What will you have?

- Shot of bourbon.
- Any particular brand?

Doesn't matter.

We got Four Roses, VO,
Jim Black, Seagram's.

- Just pour the shot, okay?
- Sure, pal.

- Three more.
- Rough day, huh, pal?.

That's right.
It was a rough day. Pour.

- Blood, sweat and tears.
- You said it.

I hate when I ruin
a good shirt like that.

- How do you mean?
- On the shoulder.

Believe me, pal, you're never
gonna get stains like that out.

- What happened? You cut yourself?
- Yeah.



Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

This wasn't me, Jean.
I didn't do this.

- Who is that?
- It's the guy from yesterday.

- Who?
- The insane guy who came in the office.

We gotta call the police.

- Hang on. Let me think about this.
- No! What for?

Goddamn it! Just put down the phone
so I can think!

I'm just not 100% sure
they're going to believe me.

Of course they will.
Why wouldn't they?

I went to his motel room
and I stabbed him in the hand.

- What?
- He was coming after me.

- I can't believe this.
- Why were you stabbing somebody?

Would you just let me think
for a minute?

I could leave right away.

Then you really look guilty.

I could go to the airport
and I could get a ticket.

Frank, honey, you're scaring me.

You're acting like a criminal,
and you're not.

Okay? You're innocent.

-Joe, what do we got?
- No weapon found yet.

But definitely a shotgun blast
to the head.

Jimmy, put down that damn case
and give me a hand with this.

How long does something like this take?

Are the police gonna be here
all night or what?

Here we go. Great. Perfect.
Take that. I'll take those.

Thank you, sir.
One pair of men's shoes, size--

- Twelve.
- Size twelve.

Dr. Sangster?

Detective Larry Lunt.
This is your house?

- Yes, it is.
- I understand you found the body.

- I was coming home--
- Lance, come here.

I want you to meet someone.

What's up?

Meet Dr. Sangster.
This is the guy that found the body.

Doc, this is Lance Phelps,
the actor.

He's following me around,
doing some research for his next movie.

Looks like the real thing,
doesn't he?

- Ask him some questions.
- Okay.

I'd rather just speak with you.

Don't worry about it.
It's just research. Go ahead.

When did you find the body?

Well, it was about an hour ago.

- Did you know him?
- I've seen him.

- Where?
- In my office. I'm a dentist.

- He a patient of yours?
- His sister came in for a root canal.

- You screwing her?
- Sorry?

The sister--
Are you having sex with her?

- This is ridiculous!
- Go on. Pretend I'm not here.

I just don't want to talk
with this guy.

- Did you do it?
- No, I definitely didn't.

Then there's nothing to worry about.
It's just research.

It's not like he's gonna put it
in a movie, right? See?

Humor him.

All right.
No, I wasn't having sex with her.

Any idea who did this?

What happened to his hand?

No idea.

- He's lying.
- Look, this is not really right!

Hang on a second.

Not bad, not bad.

Only try not to show what you're
thinking. You're giving away too much.

I gotta show something...

'cause otherwise people aren't gonna
know what's going on up here.

I see what you mean.
Let's go over this later.

Go have a look around.
See what you find out.

Cool. Cool.

Not bad, huh?

You see, this is really great.
You're helping me--

I'm sorry about all the inconvenience.
We really appreciate the help.

That's fine, Detective.

We'll want to ask a few more questions.
Stick around for the next few days.

Does that mean I'm a suspect?

You said you didn't do it.

That's right.

So there's nothing
to worry about.

There is one more thing.

What's that?

Are these yours, Miss Noble?

Of course they are.
Where'd you find them?

Sorry about that.

Someone found them in one of
the doctor's sports coats...

and I was wondering--

Well, there you go.
Listen, I got to run.

You two take it easy...

and thanks again for your help.

Are they hers, Frank?
The girl from the motel?.

Are they hers?

Yeah. I'm sorry.

Okay, Frank, you know what?
I'm gonna go home.

For the first time...

it occurred to me that
I'd been living the wrong life.

I didn't belong here with the schedules
and the cavities and the appointments.

I was supposed to be somewhere else.

This is a bit of a pickle.

I went and had a chat
with Wayne Ponce...

the pharmacist at Lincoln Pharmacy.

He said he called here
about a prescription--

I'm not here.


Lily Pons, forensic investigator
from last night?

Oh, yeah. Hello.

Could you give me a hand?

- Sure.
- Good.

- What are you doing in the Dumpster?
- Nothing much. Just routine.

Poking around, you know.


All right, come on.
Let's go inside.

- Inside?
- Yeah.

If you don't mind.
It'll just take a moment.

You run a nice operation here, Doc,
nice and tight.

- That's the way we like it.
- I bet you do.

- Doctor--
- Not right now, Sally.

- I just have a question--
- No smoking.

- We have extremely flammable gas.
- Don't we all.

He's gone.

- Pat, who's up next?
- Andrew Payne at 11:30.

- Ask him to take his time coming in.
- Will do.

- How can I help you?
- I'm gonna need your teeth.

- Sorry?
- Teeth.

I need a set of impressions.

- What for?
- It's just routine.

It doesn't sound
very routine to me.

- Are you a forensic pathologist?
- All right.

We have a perfectly good set
of impressions already made.

- You can use those.
- Sorry. I need a new set.

Look, I don't want to offend you,
but I have a practice to run here.

I understand. I do.
But all the same, I need a new set.

So, do you want to get one of
your people to do it or should I?.

- Can I leave for three minutes?
- Suit yourself.

Would you consider yourself
a biter?

- What?
- You know.

Like to bite or chew things?

No. What are you talking about?

Mind if I ask you
a personal question?

Go ahead.

Is it possible that
you have any peccadillos...

let's say, that you might want
to tell me about?


Little sins.

Maybe that's all I was guilty of.
And all I had to do...

was straighten everything out
once and for all.

- Leave me alone!
- Susan!

I mean, I don't understand.

- Why would he--
- Listen. Listen.

He doesn't want you
to go to the cops.

Are you a guest here
with us tonight, sir?

Not exactly.

- Would you follow me, please?
- What for?

So we can call the police.

- You misunderstand. I'm a dentist.
- Let's go.

I do understand.

- Come on. Let's go.
- All right, all right.

- Get you outta here.
- Listen.

Would you take $100 to let me go?

- How much?
- A hundred.

Yes, I would.

Where is he?
I saw him in here.

I didn't ask you to kill him.
I only said I wish he'd disappear.

- Harlan, get out here.
- You killed him!

- I saw him in here five minutes ago.
- My brother, idiot, not yours.

- You know I didn't do it.
-Just admit it.

I told you I wanted him gone,
so you did it.

- You know what? I think you killed him.
- Liar! You killed him, you killed him!

Stop it!
Stop it, stop it, stop it.

What was he doing here?

- He came to tell me.
- Tell you what?

What you did.

Harlan told you
I'd murdered your brother?

I didn't.

- Did you?
- No.

What else did he say?

He told me that I should
get you to get me money...

so I wouldn't go to the cops.

How did you meet him? Harlan?

We were in Detroit.

Duane was gone,
so I went down to the bar.

And there he was.

We drank some and then...

we went up to my room and...

did some drugs.

What else?

Told me about you.

Said you had
a lot of narcotics on hand.

Did Harlan know
about your brother?

Didn't want them to meet. Duane
gets jealous when I talk to other men.

Why is that?

Because he does, okay?


Why are you
looking at me like that?

So Harlan steered you
right into me?

Don't think he likes you
very much.

I guess he doesn't.

But for some stupid reason...

I guess I do.

Area police
have linked a local dentist...

to the grisly slaying
of a Detroit local.

Dr. Frank Sangster of Mervin's Grove
is being wanted now...

in connection with
the brutal murder of Duane Ivey.

Police discovered Ivey's body today in
the dentist's multimillion-dollar home.


If you have any information on
the whereabouts of Dr. Frank Sangster...

please call the Mervin Grove
crime hot line--

- Who is it?
- Police.

Just a minute.

Getting dressed.

Ms. Ivey, Detective Lang
with the Chicago Police Department.

You can't just barge
into my bathroom.

At least let me clean up
a little.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Okay, that's it.
I'm coming in.

See? No one here.

- If you don't have a warrant--
- Shut it, or I'll shut it for you.

Sit down and watch your mouth.

I love your ass.

Pinch it.

Cover that front door
like I told you.

You talking to us?
Sorry, the dog's barking.

What'd you say?

You guys cover that front entrance
and shut up this goddamn dog.

Don't make me come down there.

Sorry. We didn't hear you.

- Could you repeat that?
- I'm coming down there.

Move this car
to the front entrance.

We're only doing
what our supervisor asked.

I'm telling you to move this car
to the front entrance.

What the--

Oh, shit.

This feels like novocaine.

All right, pal, on your feet.
This ain't no country club.

You got a lady--

Oh, shit.

- You got a handkerchief?
- Sorry?

A handkerchief.
My damn nose is bleeding again.

- No, I don't.
- Crap.

Let's go.
You got a visitor.

Hey there, Chopper.

Your girlfriend's waiting for you.

Frank, what the hell
is going on?

Apparently, I'm being held for murder.
Pretty funny, huh?

No, Frank, it's not.

What happened to your face?

I fell.

Did they beat you up, Frank?

- If I find out, I'll kick the shi--
- Nobody beat me up. I fell.

I don't know
why I should even care.

How could you do that to me?

- I'm the one in jail, not you.
- Is that my fault?

Someone is trying to set me up.

Tell your friend with the red panties.
I'll bet she knows more than I do.

All right, you two, calm down.

There's plenty of time
to argue about this later.

Like the next 50 years.
Ain't that right, Chopper?

Why do you keep calling me that?

Why do you think, bitey boy?

Don't try to pretend.
We already got the teeth marks.

What teeth marks?

The marks you left
all over the body.

Chewed him up real good,
didn't you, Chopper?

- Shut up, Howard.
- You shut up, Andy.

Will you both shut up.
We're trying to speak. Thank you.

What is it?

That's why she wanted
the impressions.

That's it.
The visit's over.

Wait a second.
You said 15 minutes.

Sorry. You said shut up.

Say good-bye.

- Where are you taking him?
- Arraignment.

Call Mike. Have him get me a lawyer.
Will you do that?

Sorry. Can't go in there.
Closed hearing.

I'm supposed to get this one
to arraignment.

Gonna be at least
20 more minutes.

Some mob guy in there.
Have a seat.

Listen, pal.

Stay right there.

Do not move. Get me?

Wow, am I glad to see you.

- How's it going, man?
- Fine.

I was just sitting in
on an interrogation.

Good shit.
All totally usable.

- Have you seen Lunt?
- Not yet.

- You haven't heard?
- Heard what?

Oh, man.
They called from the studio.

We're totally green-lit.
We're going ahead with the picture.

- Gee, that's really great.
- You're fucking "A" right it's great.

It's an amazing part.


Could I ask you some more questions
like the other day?

- Forget it.
- Oh, come on, man.

Yours is the best case.
You would really be helping me out.


Frankie, you do this for me, man,
and I will never forget it.

That is a Lance Phelps promise.

- Not right now.
- I'll take you across the street.

I'll buyout a latte.
Fifteen minutes, tops.

- You mean right now?
- Fifteen minutes.

Right across the street.

All right,
but only for 15 minutes.

Thank you.


You are not gonna regret this,
I swear to God.

I don't wanna just act like a cop.
I wanna eat, drink and shit like a cop.

Hold it, guys.

- I can't let you out of here.
- What's up?

Till I get your autograph.

God, I knew it.
This guy's Lance Phelps.

I've seen every one
of your movies.

- I love this guy.
- Thanks.

Is he somebody?

This guy? No, no.

Lay off the Twinkies, all right?
Nobody likes a fat cop.

So I'm mulling it over
in my head, you know...

and I'm thinking, no way.

There's no way that you did it.

Of course not,
because it's way too obvious.

- The audience would never believe it.
- What audience?

You know. You know.
Like if this was a movie.

- This is not a movie. It's real life.
- I know that.

- But do they know that?
- Who?

You know, the audience.

Hey, I'm gonna go
make a phone call.

I'll meet you in there in two minutes.
Just order for me.

- I wish I had my cell.
- I'll just use the pay phone.

-Order me a coffee. I'll be right there.
-Okay, cool, but listen.

Don't say my name when you come in.
I don't want anybody to know it's me.

Okay. See you, Lance.

- Where are you going?
- I thought they caught you.

- I got away.
- Isn't that great?

- Listen, I need your help.
- You're shit out of luck, then.

What's the problem here?

You want to know the problem?
I've had cops in my face for 72 hours.

- Like I haven't?
- Shut up!

I'm out of drugs, I'm out of money, I'm
sick of living in shitholes like this.

On top of which,
my brother is dead and you killed him.

- You know I didn't--
- Drop the act.

They identified your teeth marks.
It's all over the news.

Someone is setting me up.

Bullshit. They already
made a positive ID.

Get down.

- Did they see me?
- Don't know.

Get in the trunk.
Get in the trunk!

I'd like to ask you
a couple of questions.

Just ask your pals
down at the station.

They already know everything.

Have you seen this man
since your brother was killed?

Like I told the other officers,
I don't even know the man.

- Going somewhere?
- Yep.

- Where?
- Michigan.

Have an uncle there.
Needs some help in his restaurant.

Well, now, Ms. Ivey...

how would you like to stick around,
just in case he decides to show up?

Gee, I wish I could...

but my uncle's
already expecting me.

I should probably get started.
It's a long drive.

I'll tell you what.

You stick around...

and I won't arrest you.

Look at this piece of crap.

They don't make 'em
like they used to, do they?



Yeah, well, I am.

I'm gonna go down
to the rib house on the corner.

You're gonna stay put.

- I have to, right?
- Exactly.

Don't make me come after you.
You hear?

Get up. Come on.

We don't have much time.

Come on, come on.
This way. Quick. Quick.

Oh, Christ!

- You okay?
- Some water.

Here, here. Drink it.


here's 37 bucks.

- That's all I got. Take it and go.
- I'm not leaving without you.

That cop is gonna be back here
any second.

- We have a thing.
- We don't have a thing.

We fucked.
There's a difference.

That's not true,
and you know it.

Christ, here he comes.
Get under the bed, quick!

What are you doing?

I take yoga.

So, he come back
while I was gone?

Lucky him.
Tell you what, though.

Guy ever shows up,
he's dog chow.

- You wouldn't believe the evidence.
- What evidence?

Well, you already know
about the teeth marks.

Now they got a pair of scissors.
Somebody sent 'em in the mail.


Used to stab your brother in the hand.
They got seven clean prints off 'em.

You didn't tell me that.

Plus the fact the guy was clearly
selling drugs right out of his office.

He's dead meat.

Oh, yeah.
This bed's pretty nice.

Okay, come on.

Give me 1 reason why I shouldn't scream
and wake up that fat piece of shit.

- Because you know the truth.
- What about all the other evidence?

Where'd that come from?

Honestly, I don't know.

- Did you stab him?
- Yes, but only in the hand.

You gonna help me or not?

You're unbelievable.
Why should I?.

Because you like me.

And you're tired of lying and stealing
for drugs. Is that what you want?

- And you're gonna save me from that?
- That's right.

Get real. You're a wanted man.
They're gonna hunt you down.

No, they're not,
because you're gonna help me.

Look at me.

Take a good look.

I can't even help myself.
So how can I help you?

All you have to do is believe me.

Okay, Frank, you win.

- What do you want me to do?
- Let's get outta here.


Go ahead. Wait, wait.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Aunt Wilene's Denture Cream
holds all day long...

giving your dentures a bond
with real staying power.

Thanks to Aunt Wilene.

Just add a few drops of Aunt Wilene 's
Denture Cream and you're good to go...

secure in the knowledge
that your dentures will hold.

Where are we?

This is Jean's house.

- What are we doing here?
- We're looking.

For what?


Didn't you wonder why she wanted
dentures of your teeth?

She told me she wanted
to learn to make dentures.

Weren't you just
a tiny bit suspicious?

No. She was very meticulous
about her work.

Look around,
see if you see anything.

Probably hidden
in some weird place.

Good God.
Is this woman anal, or what?

Bet she makes
a hell of a tuna casserole.

That's Jean, all right.
Likes to keep things in strict order.

She's very, very...

very organized.

Wait. I know
it's gotta be something--

I certainly don't like
the look of this.

I didn't write this.

You don't happen to have any life
insurance or a will drawn up, do you?

No, just a--

Hold it, we did just set up
a new corporation.

Barbie's Bakery.
This is Mr. Muffin speaking.

Mike, it's Frank.

What's going on?
You're all over the news.

That corporation
you set up for the office.

Was there a rider or any fine print
or anything that said...

if I'm ever convicted of a felony,
then everything would go to--

Of course there was.

Don't be ridiculous. You suggested it.
I told you about it the other day.

- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.

- I did not.
- Maybe it was Jean.

-Just let me call Louise.
- No, no. Thanks. Thanks.

Let me guess.

She was an officer
of the corporation, right?


Next in line?

Don't feel too bad, Frank.

You're not the first--

What's wrong
with that stuffed animal?.


The bunny over there. It's--

It's grinning.

Jeez, here they are.

- Are those your teeth?
- They're mine, all right.

- Go out the window.
- It's too far down.

- Where?
- Here.

No, wait. The light.

The dentures!

Come on, Frank, come on.
She's coming up the steps.

Come on. Quick.

Yeah, it's me.

Wait. Just calm down for a second.
This is very simple.

Just bring it to the office.

I've got it all figured out.

Who's she talking to?

No, just bring the gun to the office.
We're gonna plant it there. Got it?


- You've gotta say something to her.
- We're gonna follow her to the office.

Oh, right.
That's the dumbest idea yet.

Yeah, I'm gonna talk to him.

What the--

Oh, shoot.

Yes, I'll be nice
to the little man.


Put it in a duffel bag!

You bring it to me in 15 minutes
at the office.

You. You.

Let's just get
away from here fast.

I've got to find out who she was
talking to. Shit! No redial.

- You already know.
- My brother wouldn't kill anybody.

- Here's another problem.
- What?

She took the teeth.

There's nobody behind us.

How about stepping on it
a little bit?

This is a '73 shitbox, Frank.
This is as fast as we go.

Check it out.
Got the little man on TV.

Gross, Harlan! Please!
That has to be cleaned!

You almost hurt the little man.

- You just don't get it.
- Oh, really?

What is it that I don't get?

That's the point, Harlan.

If I have to explain to you
what you don't get, you don't get it.


There was a very clear plan.
A simple, perfect plan.

Yeah, we had a simple plan.

You made me go through it
eight million times.

Hold on. Hold on.
Look at me. Slow down.

Tell me again, one more time.
We're gonna--

Okay, I'm gonna go find this junkie girl
in Detroit, bring her back here...

get her to steal Frank's drugs
so it looks like he's sellin' 'em.

Good boy.

I did exactly as you wanted.
Found you the perfect girl.

You didn't do exactly as I wanted.
You brought back two junkies, not one.

And then the guy
showed up in the office.

Do you have any idea what you've done?
That's her brother in there.

- Don't look at me.
- Just shut up.

- I didn't bring him out here.
- Shut up!

Bring him to Frank's house tonight.

You got it, you dumb, stupid--

- You double-crossed me.
- You killed that guy!

Nobody was supposed to get killed.

- Take it!
- I don't want this gun!

Frank's gonna be here any second.
Just go!

Don't know how you got me
involved in all this.

Oh, please, Harlan! Face it!

You wanted what your brother had,
and you couldn't get it by yourself.

Why didn't you marry him?

- What?
- Why didn't you just fuckin' marry him?


I've taken care of everybody
my whole life...

and I'm fucking tired.

I have organized everything.
I have made everything perfect.

I've made everybody's lives
work smoothly.

I'm tired of being a caretaker!
Codependent no more!

Do you know how hard it is...

to be perfect...

when everybody needs you
to take care of them?

Has anybody ever done that for me?
Nobody's ever done that for me.

Nobody. Nobody!

And I'm tired of everybody else
getting all the stuff...

and me being left out.

I wanna be the boss! I wanna be on top!
Because I deserve it all!

And I'm gonna get it, and if you don't
understand that, you're a fucking idiot.

Right. See?
You keep calling me that.

But you're the one
who killed that guy.

Who's the idiot?

You're right.

I'll take it. Does that make you
feel better? You're right.

You're right.
All right.

I don't know. You know what?
I'm really sorry.

Damn right I'm right.

We both got screwed.

- Come here. We both got screwed.
- I'm sorry too, baby.

I'm gonna make sure we both
get what we deserve. Okay?

Go lie down.

You gonna take care
of the little man?

Did you take care of me? You remember
to bring what I asked you to bring?

Yeah, I brought it.

Okay, go lie down.

Come on.

Lay down in the chair.

Go on, get comfy.

Okay, okay, relax.

Just lay back.

I'm just getting myself ready.

What are you doin'?

I'm just getting organized for you.

- Come on. I'm dyin', Nurse.
- I know.

It hurts.

Just one more sec.

What are you doing--

Frank, this is a really bad idea.

Everything's gonna be all right.

The doughnut shop in an hour, right?
You'll be there?

I'll be there.

Be careful.

Harlan, what are you doing
in the--

Suddenly, there I was...

seeing it all
for the first time.

Oh, she'd set me up, all right.

Not just for Duane's murder.

She'd gotten me for Harlan's too.

My teeth marks
were all over the body.

Then I saw the solution.

It was right there in front of me.

Frank Sangster had to die...

and his whole, perfect world
along with him.

Strange as it may seem...

it didn't hurt
like I thought it would.

In fact,
with each tooth I pulled...

I felt a little better...

a little less trapped...

a little more free.

Until I felt so free...

that what I had to do
didn't seem so bad at all.

Over here. More water.

I got it. Good, good, good.

And early the next morning,
when they found the remains...

there would be
only one thing left-- teeth.

Frank Sangster's teeth.

Jean steered me right
in one way, though.

It was she who pushed
for flame-retardant cabinets...

for the videotapes.

Get in here!

I'm just getting organized for you.

Okay, let's look at it
another way.

We have you recorded on camera
shooting the dentist in the head.

Let's cut to the chase.
You know what we want to know.

I am cutting to the chase.
You keep asking the same questions.

- And you keep giving different answers.
- The truth.

And when you tell us
what the fuck we want to know--

- I'm being honest with you!
- Honest?

- This is verbal abuse!
- You know what this is?

This is the rest
of your fucking life!

- Let me go!
- You're not going anywhere.

You're going down to the fucking can.
That's right. Nowhere.

All right, this is fucking bullshit.
I know how to get this confession.

Get the goddamn ice cubes,
and let's start shovin' 'em!

They get really crunchy
when you don't cooperate.

Come on. Give it up.

Tell me what I want to know!

I'm gonna count to one!

- One!
- I never did see Jean again.

But she's an outgoing girl. I'm sure
she's made a lot of new friends.

Big Boy goes there...

and Fuzzy goes there...

and T eddy goes there
and Piggy goes there...

and Monkey goes there
and little Skippy goes there.

Susan and I...

we made it to the airport that night
and quietly slipped out of the country.

It took a little while,
but with the money from the book...

written under the pen name
Harlan Sangster...

we were able to buy a pretty
little villa in the French countryside.

But I'm not telling you where.

A few months ago, I slipped Susan
into the local dentist office in town...

and finally gave her
that root canal she needed.

She said it was
the best one she ever had.

I still believe
what I've always said.

The worst thing that can happen to a man
is to lose his teeth...

unless, of course,
he pulls them out himself.