Not Quite an Angel (1999) - full transcript
Dad of two kids meets a mysterious woman/ cater who seems extraordinary and well organised, better than any mother. Kids do not have a mother and woman begins working for them as their full time carer. Soon they discover that she is an angel from heaven and have to try to do whatever it takes to stop her from going back.
[music playing]
JESSICA (VOICEOVER): Dear God, it's been real hard
since mommy's been gone.
And it gets tougher every day.
My brother's crazy science projects
just keep on getting him in trouble,
even though he means well by them.
And daddy's so busy with work now,
he doesn't spend any time with us anymore.
Yesterday, he asked me how school was going in the middle
of summer vacation.
And when he does have some free time,
he spends it all with his gross new girlfriend Sandra.
Justin and I hate her.
Well, maybe not hate her, God, but we sure don't like
being around her very much.
God, isn't there something you can do to help us?
I'm really worried about my family.
We sure can use a helping hand right about now.
Yours truly, Jessica Witherby.
Good morning, Justin.
Good morning, Daddy.
Oh, sorry, Jessica.
Where's your brother?
Justin's in the garage helping Peggy with the laundry.
Really?
He's working on another one of his science projects.
Dad, are you late again?
I know you're late when you try to drink
your coffee in one gulp.
Sweetheart, once you become a grown up, you're always late.
Oh.
Oh.
I'll get the club soda.
No, no, no, there's no time.
I'll just change ties.
[scatting]
(WHISPERING) Thar she blows.
[screaming]
Justin Witherby!
What do you think, Pegs?
I know, I know, it's really awesome, isn't it?
It's my newest labor saving device.
I'm calling it speedy clean.
Your father doesn't pay me enough to be your Guinea
pig as well as your maid.
Why don't you go out and play in traffic, kid,
or make yourself useful and invent something
that gets the clothes cleaner?
I'm already on it.
Get out!
Kids!
Stan, honey, pumpkin?
Children?
Oh, little Jessica, it's so good to see you.
Hi, Sandra.
Hi, baby.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
I think I'm losing my mind.
Has anyone seen my briefcase?
It's in the--
Living room, I just saw it in there.
The living room, thanks, Sandra.
Why so quiet today, dumpling?
Something bothering you?
Yeah, you make me sick.
What was that?
Oh, I said, yeah, I'm feeling sick.
Oh my, I certainly hope it isn't anything serious, angel.
I am so looking forward to spending time with you kids.
Yes, ma'am, I can hardly wait.
Oh, hello, Justin.
We were just talking about you.
Let me guess, you've been off torturing the new nanny again,
hmm?
Well, I hope she doesn't quit.
That would be, let me see, six this year?
You're in my seat.
STAN: Found it.
Oh, darling.
Good call.
OK, you guys, I'll see you tonight.
Morning, Mitch.
Morning, Stan.
What are you looking at?
Looks like you've got jelly in your leg.
Jelly?
Oh, that little--
Oh, well.
I guess I got it in the kitchen.
That little Jessica is a pistol.
Oh, well.
Raspberry jelly goes great with olive green.
[gunshots]
I'm John.
I'm Jerry.
And this is--
BOTH: Pasta Talk.
JOHN (ON TV): Today we're gonna talk
about our two favorite pastas.
[gunshots]
--that you can take your fork and actually skewer
through the hole in the pasta without
actually damaging the pasta? JOHN (ON TV): Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. JERRY (ON TV): That's--
I mean, that's--
Justin, what are you doing now?
Driving nanny Peg crazy.
I have three mirrors placed around the house.
And since the remote works on infrared, check this.
PEGGY: [yelling]
Cool.
What the hell is going on with this thing?
JERRY (ON TV): But that's a personal favorite of mine.
Oh!
What's that?
No!
Oh!
Uh-oh.
Justin, what's going on?
That's my new laundry detergent.
I call it Power Scrub.
I guess it still needs a little work.
[burp]
Please, Betty, do we have to go over this again?
You look moderately intelligent.
My name's Amanda.
I just wanted a minute to speak with the man who's making
children cry all over town.
Children cry, that's what they do.
You may as well ask me to stop dogs from barking.
Why are you evicting me and my Toys for Kids program?
You promised we could keep that space until after Christmas.
I don't understand how you can do this,
take toys away from children.
Have you no heart?
I have heart for my investors.
They made a simple business decision based on the fact
that your profits aren't high enough.
They want results.
Profits?
We are a non-profit company that gives free toys to kids.
That may very well explain your problem.
You have no heart.
You have no profits.
Wow, what a house.
Well, Mr. Hampton is the wealthiest man in Elm Grove.
I wonder why he wants to see you.
I guess we'll find out soon enough.
Mr. Willoughby, Mr. Hampton.
Oh, it's Witherby.
Um, uh, the door was open.
I know.
Please, call me Stan.
I will.
And this is my legal secretary Sandra.
Sandra, delighted.
Are you from around here?
Uh, this is a very small town, and I don't recall
ever seeing such a pretty face.
Oh, thank you.
Actually, I've just been here a few weeks.
Oh, and how do you like our little town so far?
I love it.
Wonderful.
Please, have a seat.
Now, shall we get down to business?
Elm Grove Acres, the big announcement everyone's
been waiting for.
It's certainly very impressive.
I'll say it is.
In one quick stroke, I'll create 1,000 jobs and a massive boost
to the local economy, not to mention a hundred new homes
for new families to move in.
Oh my, that sounds wonderful Mr. Hampton.
Yes, but I'm a little unclear why you invited me here.
I'm only the city attorney.
Unfortunately, there's a little catch.
I'll need Elm Grove Park to build it on.
The children's park?
That's city property.
They're not going to allow you to build there.
I'm not so sure.
If you recall in 1897, that piece of property
was deeded to the city by my grandfather, Mr. Hampton I.
It belongs to my family and I want it back.
I'm going to offer the city a deal.
Sell back my family property at a modest price
and I'll use it to get this economy back on its feet again.
But what about the park?
That's the playground for most of the children in town.
Well, that's the beautiful part.
I plan to leave one third of the park as is.
I'll even put in $100,000 for new playground equipment.
They'll have their park, the city will have their jobs,
and I'll have my subdivision.
Wow, it sounds like everybody wins.
Maybe.
Again, I'm not quite sure what you want me to do.
As city attorney, I want you to look over the plans very,
very carefully.
As an old friend of the mayor's, I know your recommendation
will weigh very heavily.
I'll look it over.
You know, Stan, when we start building,
I'm going to need a smart local attorney
to see these plans through.
Ever think of working for a private firm?
There is great money and family friendly hours.
Around here, the whistle blows at 5 o'clock.
Two of my attorneys are little league coaches.
Are you trying to bribe me, Mr. Hampton?
Bribe you?
[laughter] Good heavens, no.
I just think it's a shame to see a man of your obvious talent
underpaid and overworked.
You'll put your promise about keeping the park in writing?
Absolutely.
Heck, I love kids.
I don't want to take their park away from them.
You could be the man that helps Elm
Grove reach its finest hour.
How exciting.
What do you think?
I'm not quite sure yet.
I don't know if I like the idea of tearing up 60% of that park.
Jessica and Justin play there.
Yeah, but what about all the new playground
equipment and all those jobs and the new houses.
Everybody wins.
I think it's just swell.
You do?
Absolutely.
And Hampton was just about begging you to come to work
for him after this is all over.
Sandra, please, I can't let that influence my decision.
Of course not.
But just think about what working for Hampton
would mean for us and, I mean, for the kids.
Yeah, I would like to spend more time with them.
Why would he want to be with somebody like her?
She's a big, dumb phony.
And he hardly spends any time with us anymore.
He's been real lonely since mom died.
Maybe he's hoping that Sandra can make him happy again.
I've gotta do something scientific
to her, something really messy.
Don't even think about it.
The last thing dad needs right now is
something new to worry about.
We're all he's got now, Justin.
We've got to support him no matter what.
Oh, no.
Well, look at what we got here.
If it isn't dork and sister of dork.
What do they want?
Revenge.
Last time I goofy glued their bike chains.
Cost my dad 20 bucks to fix my bike.
And he grounded me.
Yeah, mine too.
So the way we figure it is, we might just
have to beat up on you a little, you know,
to help make us feel better.
Like my dad always says, share the pain.
Share this.
Run!
Idiot!
Come on, get up!
Faster, Justin!
Down here.
Cut 'em off!
Hiya, kids.
Happy, help us.
Hey, fellers.
Looks like you all are having some fun.
Yes, yes, sir.
We were having a race.
Well, it looks like you boys lost.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, well, we did.
We gotta-- we gotta go now.
We're late for Boy Scouts.
Yeah, uh, come on.
Come on, Tommy.
Later days, dude.
We'll race again, real soon.
See you fellers later.
How about a couple of cold sodas?
BOTH: Thanks, Happy.
I've been meaning to ask you something, Justin.
You ever seen one of these before?
Yeah.
It looks like a collection tube for soil samples.
Where did you find it?
Well, I found a couple of them down by the creek bed.
Why do you reckon they'd be there?
I don't know.
Maybe somebody is looking for something.
That's a smart answer.
So what did we get, Boofy?
Dirt, Wheezer.
Dirt?
That's what I said.
Boofy, why are we whispering?
We're whispering because Mr. Hampton told us that nobody
was supposed to see us here.
You know, we could have stolen some dirt from my backyard.
I got plenty of it.
And we wouldn't even have to whisper.
Do you want me to hit you?
No.
Good, because I don't want do either.
It hurts me when I have to hit you.
Really?
Because, you know, it hurts me too.
Then why don't you just shut up!
Sh.
Sh.
Shut up and let Mr. Hampton do the thinking.
We are just the bumbling thugs.
Right.
Well, I gotta go now kids.
Y'all take care.
Hey, leave your bottles, OK?
I recycle.
Thank you for the sodas, Happy.
All right, y'all take care.
The caretaker is leaving.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on, he's leaving, let's get out of here.
Will you stop hitting me and turn the car on!
Let's go, go, go!
Oh.
This kid is a pig.
Ow!
Oh, so this is where this has been.
Guacamole, don't mind if I do.
What the heck?
Boy, that was great, the faces on Jimmy and Tommy
when they saw that Happy showed up.
I know.
He looked like he was gonna die or something.
Oh, no!
[screaming]
You know, I can explain this.
I quit.
Peg, what the heck happened?
I'm going back to the army.
It pays the same and it's a heck of a lot easier.
Anybody got a [inaudible]?
You know, it's really kind of funny when you think about it.
Move.
She told me the blender wasn't working right.
She thought the blade was moving too slow.
So you helped by speeding it up?
Yeah, but she took it out of my room
before I was able to finish.
Listen, guys, I know things have been tough
since your mother--
well, you know.
But you guys can't keep on behaving like this.
Now, I'm about to start a big project and I need your help.
You're always in the middle of a project.
This one is different.
This one just might change everything for us.
After this, we'll be able to spend much more time together.
Dad, you always say that.
This time is gonna be different, I promise.
I'll call the agency tonight.
We can start looking for a new nanny again tomorrow.
Dear God, I sent you a letter asking
if you can fix up our family.
Please try to do what you can.
It doesn't have to be anything fancy.
I just want us to be happy again.
Let me know if you have any questions.
Amen.
So what do you think it is, Mr. Hampton, sir?
Well, I'm pretty sure it's dirt,
you simpleton, and I'm going to need more of it.
Well, it was pretty dicey in that park, sir.
If you just want more dirt, I got plenty of it back--
Hey.
What he means, sir, is that that caretaker guy almost caught us.
And I'm quite sure he would have threw
us out for dirt snatching.
I've already taken care of that.
Here is your new cover.
Anyone asks you, you're working for the EPA.
Does this come in any other color?
You do know what that stands for?
Oh, yeah, sure.
It's the E-P-A.
It stands for the Environmental
Protection Agency.
You're supposedly looking for hazardous wastes.
You do know what those are, don't you?
Oh, yes, sir.
We worked for Potties on Wheels for two years.
Two years.
Anyway, it won't take you long to find what I'm looking for.
Which is?
Money.
Justin, Justin.
What time is it?
Sh.
Dad says we've gotta help him.
So I thought we could make breakfast for him.
That's a great idea.
NEWSCASTER (ON RADIO): And wealthy industrialist
Mr. Hampton promises to announce his plans
for a new development.
Now, here's Amanda Jacobs with the weather.
Justin, we've gotta be quick.
Dad's gonna be down soon.
Eggs.
Great, thanks.
Cool.
Milk.
[shattering]
Oh!
Ow!
Justin, we have to be more quiet.
Sorry, Jessie.
Justin, dad doesn't want cereal.
Go make coffee.
Gotta get jelly.
Justin, that's not coffee!
So?
Go finish the toast.
Ew.
You stepped in the butter.
It's all mushy.
[laughter]
Justin, stop it.
It tickles.
[humming]
What the--
Oh my God.
What are you guys doing?
Not my briefcase.
We were trying to help.
Just trying to help?
We made you breakfast.
What am I gonna do with you guys?
Dad, no!
Oh, for goodness sake.
This is a brand new shirt.
Are you guys trying to torture me or something?
Dad, we're really sorry.
I hope you don't mind, the door was open.
Who are you?
I'm Melanie Deangelo.
I was contacted by the Heaven Sent Nanny Agency.
You are looking for a nanny?
I never called the Heaven Sent Nanny Agency.
Oh, your agency was all booked.
So they called Heaven Sent and Heaven Sent called me.
Here are my papers.
Well, everything looks to be in order.
It's good to meet you, Melanie.
Oh, please, call me Mel.
You don't mind if I call the agency just
to confirm everything, do you?
Oh, not at all.
In fact, I'd be surprised if you didn't.
I have got a treat for you guys.
Come on, big guy.
I took the liberty of bringing along some breakfast with me.
It's always nice to start things off with a special treat.
Hello, Heaven Sent Nanny Agency?
Yes, I just wanted to check on a Melanie Deangelo.
Yummy!
And I believe these are for you, Jessica and Justin.
Wow, salmon rolls.
What do you mean you never heard of her?
[twinkling]
Oh, really?
Well, thank you very much.
Mom used to buy these for us all the time.
She sounds like a smart woman.
Playing all day is hard work.
You've gotta keep your strength up.
Thanks, Melanie.
Thanks, Melanie.
Hey, call me Mel.
It sounds more fun.
Well, everything checks out.
They even said you were the number one nanny.
That was nice of them.
So what's your schedule like?
When can you start?
How about now?
Now?
Sure.
That's great.
Here's my-- here's my number at work.
If you have any questions or problems, call me right away.
I will, Stan.
Now, you better hurry up and change your shirt.
You're already late for work.
You're right.
Oh, hang on.
This deal is worth millions to me.
There can't be any foul ups. Are you sure
he's going to go along with it?
Like a mouse goes for Swiss cheese.
I'm the only bright spot in his grim little life.
He'll do anything I say.
Isn't that what you're paying me for, Uncle Nelly?
For $50,000, you'd better be right.
I'm the best investment you ever made, trust me.
I'd rather trust a two-headed rattlesnake.
That's why you don't get a dime until that deal is signed.
Oh, uncle, you've hurt my very delicate feelings.
[doorbell ringing]
You'd better run along, my dear.
My moment of triumph has arrived.
Mr. Hampton, I wanted to tell you in person.
I've made my decision on your offer.
I'm going to take your plan to the mayor
with my recommendation.
I think this project can do a lot of good for our city.
Excellent!
Excellent, I knew you were the kind of man
who could grab an opportunity.
You've got a bright future in front of you,
son, mark my words.
OK, guys, I'm gonna clean this place up
and I'll join you guys at the park in a few minutes, OK?
See you there!
OK.
Wait, wait, wait.
Promise me one thing, you'll have
as much fun as you possibly can have without getting
into trouble, OK?
Bye.
Oh, I tell you, Stan, these bunions are filled with ache.
Oh, heavens.
You have bunions?
No, Mr. Mayor, no bunions.
Well, you can count your blessings for that.
Did I tell you I have to come out to this fountain
three times a day to soak 'em?
What do you think about the plan to develop the park?
Well, to tell you the truth, Stan,
I was kind of waiting for you to tell me what to think.
Go ahead, Stan, I can trust you.
I know you wouldn't sell the city a lemon.
I think the Elm Grove project will
be the best thing to happen to this town in a long time.
Do you think that fellow Hampton will
build a fountain over there?
I don't think so, Fergie.
Oh, too bad.
My poor feet.
Oh, good heavens.
Did you save me some Cheerios?
Good morning, Larry.
Hey, what's with the suit?
Who's guardian are you today?
Some poor movie producer who's getting audited by the IRS.
Listen, you know the routine, just get this thing taken
care of as quickly as possible.
And no fancy stuff, OK?
I resent that.
Now, remember, you just got off probation.
These people need to solve their own problems.
You're just here for guidance.
So no direct interference.
Remember what happened the last time?
I had nothing to do with that.
Mel, save it.
There's no way in heaven the '88 Dodgers would
have won without your help.
The only reason you're working again
is because the mother specifically chose you.
Try to do a nice, clean job, huh?
OK, Larry, I'll try to keep this one in the bag.
Thank God.
What do you think about the new nanny?
I like Mel.
She seems really nice.
Yeah, she's really cool.
Hey, Justin, look.
What do you think he's doing?
Let's go ask him.
Ah!
Hello.
I'm Justin and this is my sister Jessica.
And we were wondering what you're doing.
Hey, listen, kid, this here is important government business.
You kids should not be around here right now.
What are you looking for?
Looking for?
We're not looking for anything.
Hey.
You wait right here.
There's something weird about those guys.
Why'd you turn it off?
I didn't turn it off.
You probably broke it.
This whole thing's making me kind of nervous, Boofy.
Now, what's the story on those two?
Oh, they're just kids from the park, nothing to worry about.
Give me a hand with this thing.
Justin, what are you doing?
Hey, Boofy, what do you think this switch does?
Hey, kid, put that down!
Hey, kid, you don't want to have that.
That's official property!
We mean it, kid.
Don't make us have to stop you.
Justin, stop horsing around!
Give me that thing!
Ah!
Let's get out of here.
Ah, help!
Get this thing off of me!
Wait a minute, buddy.
I got you pal.
[yelling]
Mel?
What happened to the part about you
guys not getting into trouble?
What do we do?
It looks like they need help.
[groaning]
I got it.
I got it.
I think you're right.
[twinkling]
Let go!
I can't.
[mud splattering]
[coughing]
OK, you guys, let's hit it.
Hey, Happy.
Hey, kids.
How are you all today?
This is our new nanny, Melanie Deangelo.
But she likes to be called Mel.
Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
Pleasure's all mine, Happy.
Hey, Happy, you know those guys down by the creek bed?
Yeah.
I don't think they're from the government at all.
You know, I was thinking the same thing,
but they got the right IDs.
God knows we'll see a lot more than folk
around here before it's all over.
What's the matter, Happy?
What's going on?
It seems like that big business man Hampton,
I think his name is, he wants to take over the park.
He wants to build a mess of homes for rich folk here.
Take away the park?
They can't do that.
Yeah, there's laws or something.
Aren't there?
Well, I don't know the exact details,
but the city council's meeting about it this week.
They say building homes will put people back to work.
And it seems people want jobs a sight more
than they do parks these days.
Our dad's a lawyer, maybe he can do something.
I didn't want to be the one to have to tell you all,
but your daddy's working helping this Hampton feller.
Our dad?
No way.
Mel, is this true?
Why don't we go find out?
See y'all.
I just can't stress enough how happy
I am to have Stan Willoughby--
Uh, Witherby.
--representing us with this proposal to the city.
Mr. Witherby, how do you respond
to critics who say the city doesn't have
the right to sell the park?
Let's just make this clear from the outset
because I don't want any of the citizens of our great city
getting any wrong ideas.
We are not going to destroy the park.
More than a full third of the land
will remain intact for children and families alike to enjoy.
Mr. Hampton's generous gift of over $100,000
for landscaping and new playground equipment
should make the park more enjoyable for everyone.
And this is on top of creating jobs,
jobs that are necessary to get our economy moving again.
Mr. Witherby, one last question,
will the new development have a fountain
for the mayor's bunions?
Uh, well, I--
I don't-- I don't think we've worked out
all the details on that yet.
I don't want to watch anymore.
Mm, chili.
It tastes just like it used to.
Welcome home, Mr. Witherby.
Mel, did you make this chili?
Yes, I did.
Is it too spicy?
No, no, not at all.
It--
Tastes just like moms used to, doesn't it, Daddy?
Yeah, honey, it sure does.
Dad, we saw you on television today.
Is that really true?
You're gonna help them tear down our park?
Justin, they're not gonna tear down your park.
There's gonna be more swings, more jungle gyms.
But, Dad, why do they have to mess with it?
Why can't they just leave it alone?
It's perfect the way it is.
Come on, Justin, you're still gonna have a third of the park.
Justin, what are you doing?
Come on, Dad, you still have a third of the chili.
Listen, guys, this is a long talk we need to have
together when I get back.
For the time being, you're just gonna
have to believe that I'm not gonna let anything
bad happen to the park.
Unfortunately, right now I have to change
for an important dinner date with Sandra.
But what about the chili?
Don't worry, honey, I'll have some when I get home.
But Dad--
Later Justin, tomorrow, I promise.
Hey, you two look like a couple of sad sacks.
He doesn't care about us anymore.
It's all about Sandra.
Sandra this and Sandra that.
She's not our mom.
You know she never will be.
I just wish he never met her.
She's mean on purpose.
Oh, hey, have you guys thought about how hard it
must be for your dad right now?
He's got to raise you two kids on his very own, two kids who
right now are only thinking about themselves, who are
forgetting that he loves you more than anything
else in the entire world.
And he'd do anything in his power to make you happy.
He needs your love right now and he
needs you to believe that he's going
to do the right thing, OK?
Hey, let's go on an adventure.
So what do you guys feel like doing?
We have the whole day to ourselves.
Well, maybe we can go see a movie.
That's one vote for the movies.
Justin, what do you feel like doing?
What about a video arcade?
No way, that's boring.
OK.
Let's go get something to eat.
Mel, look, they have potpourri.
Can we get some?
Sure, sweetie.
Justin, you want to get something?
Maybe a raspberry scented candle?
Yeah, right.
I'm gonna go across the street and get something to eat.
OK, but look both ways when you cross, OK?
OK.
Mel, can we go inside?
Sure.
I can't wait till we get them.
Hey, hey, hey, if it isn't Doctor Frankenturd.
Time to beat that big brain of yours, huh, turd?
Oh, what do you got there?
Caramel corn, imagine that, just like it says on the box.
I'm gonna caramel corn your face, funny boy.
Hand it over.
In your dreams.
Give up the corn, clown!
This is so fun.
I love hanging out with you, Mel.
You too, sweetie.
Let's go check on Justin.
But what about the potpourri?
Oh, we'll come back for it.
OK.
Put it in my hand now!
Now, that is no way to ask for something.
Here, watch me.
Excuse me, Justin, may I please have a taste of your candy?
Sure, help yourself.
Thanks.
This stuff is actually pretty good.
You got it all wrong, lady.
This dork, he stole our caramel corn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
My brother and I, we just bought it.
Yeah.
With money from--
from our poor old sick grandpa.
Yeah.
And he tried to steal it.
Really?
Yeah
That's not true.
I bought it.
Now, Justin, you know how strongly I feel about stealing.
Yeah.
Yeah, stealing is wrong.
But Mel.
Justin, you're just gonna have to give it back.
Fine.
[twinkling]
[gagging]
Water!
Water!
Water!
Gotta have some water!
Water!
Liver?
Mel, how did you do that?
Oh, you guys should be careful.
They put the craziest things in snacks these days.
Eight.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Connecticut Avenue.
Read it and weep.
$7, fork it over.
Justin, you are a tycoon.
I've got great news, everybody.
Sandra and I are going to get married.
Isn't it great?
Justin?
Oh, no, no, no.
Honey, he'll be fine.
The kids are in bed.
Here, let me give you a hand.
The kids aren't too thrilled with me getting
married to Sandra, are they?
Well, Mr. Witherby, your wife's death
hit the family really hard.
I don't know, maybe you should give your family
a little more time to heal.
I appreciate your concern, Mel, but my kids need a mother.
Jessica's always getting in fights.
Justin spends half the week in the principal's office.
They need guidance, and I'm just too busy.
They need a mother right now.
And I'm sure they will grow to love Sandra.
I understand, Mr. Witherby.
I'm sure your kids will be happy with whatever makes you happy.
I just hope this is what will make you happy.
Oh, there I go again, you hardly even know me
and here I am telling you how to live your life.
I'm sorry.
No, no, don't be.
I'm glad you care enough to say something.
Yes, sir.
Well, I guess I'll be hitting the hay.
Oh, Mr. Witherby?
Yeah?
You know you have some really wonderful children.
They love you so much.
Well, good night.
Good night.
I forget how tired I get being down here.
As we all like to say up on top, gravity sucks.
Where on earth have you been?
Oh, man, a burning convention hall full of advertising execs.
Terrible stuff, really.
People begging for forgiveness, crying, trying
to strike deals with God.
Larry, you draw some tough assignments.
Speaking of assignments, I haven't noticed
any major progress on yours.
Hey, I am working miracles around here as fast as I can.
Save the sob story for the big guy upstairs.
Just finish the job.
We're on a timetable here.
And one last thing, be careful.
Every time you get too close to the subjects,
all hell breaks loose.
That is exactly the problem, Larry.
If I can't get close to them, I can't help them.
[twinkling]
What are you doing?
I was gonna heat up some chili and put it in your eggs,
but I'm having a tough time lighting the stove.
Why are you looking at me like that?
The stove is electric.
Uh-huh?
No gas.
No gas?
Nope.
And why don't you just use the microwave?
Microwave?
That was my plan B.
Sure, Mel.
I knew it.
Watch out, Mel, it's pretty hot.
Sure, it's microwaved.
Bye, Mel, back later.
OK, be back in time for lunch.
And don't chew that apple while you're riding your bike!
Where do you come from, Mel?
That's a strange question.
Why did you ask that?
Because you already seem to know us.
And you've been doing magic stuff, the hose squirting
those men, Jimmy and Tommy.
Give me a break, liver popcorn?
Come on, Mel, fess up.
Oh, I didn't do any of that.
That was just coincidence.
It was luck.
What about these?
Are these just coincidence?
I found one at the park after you rescued me
and Justin, one in the hallway in front of your room.
You come from heaven, don't you, from up there?
You have to tell the truth.
Angels aren't allowed to lie.
OK, Jess, I'm from up there.
Did God send you because of my letter?
So does mom know you're here?
Yes, honey, she knows.
I knew it.
Congratulations, boys, you finally found
what I've been looking for.
Well, heck, Mr. Hampton, there's
plenty more dirt down there.
You can have all you want.
Put a cork in it, moron.
What he means is that he finally found
good quality dirt to build all those pretty homes on.
Wrong again.
The homes in Elm Grove Park are only part two of my plan.
Part one will go much faster and will be much more lucrative.
What's part one?
None of your business, fish face.
Oh, I'm sorry, Buffy, I didn't realize you were so sensitive.
All the kids in third grade used to call me fish face.
I know.
I think it's very hurtful.
Really, well, I feel terrible.
I tell you what, you two guys go back to the park
tonight and keep an eye out for unwanted visitors,
I'll give you each a big bonus.
How does that sound?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are you still here?
No, no, no.
We were just leaving.
Hurtful, I like that.
Oil refineries, the perfect touch.
[laughing]
[chatter]
Happy, Happy, I've gotta tell you something.
Slow down, partner.
We got speed limits in this here park.
Happy, I've gotta tell you.
You're never gonna believe it.
I've done heard about that Hampton feller.
Isn't that something?
He's gonna let most of the park stand.
Heck, the park might be a little smaller,
but it'll be grander than ever.
No, he's not, Happy, he isn't gonna save the park,
he's gonna ruin it.
You're talking crazy now, boy.
I heard it myself on the news.
Those government guys, they were looking for oil.
As soon as the city signs the land over to Hampton,
he's gonna start drilling.
Settle down, Justin, now that's
a real humdinger of a tale.
What proof you got?
I tested the soil myself.
If we get a bigger sample, I can give it to my dad
and he'll give it to the mayor.
And the mayor will kill the deal.
If you help me build this pump, we can suck the proof right out
of the ground.
Oh, really?
Hmm, heck, let's see what I got in the tool shed.
This used to be my mom's flower garden.
She kept it filled with roses and daisies.
Hmm, I do like daisies.
Do you think mommy would want dad to be with Sandra?
I don't know.
But I do know she'd want him to be happy.
She doesn't like Justin and me.
She even told Justin that when daddy was out of the room once.
I just wish he could see what she's really like, the side
that me and my brother see.
Come on, Jess, let's go figure out what
we're gonna do about supper.
I'll race you.
OK, you're on.
I always did like daisies.
Such a pretty, pretty shade of green.
It goes with your devious eyes, little niece. $50,000,
payment for getting that dope Witherby
to go along with my little land grab, money well spent.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
You'll get it tomorrow, when I have the city's deed
in my own two little hands.
Now, would you like to join me in a very expensive dinner?
Oh, shoot, I can't.
Stan and I are having our engagement dinner
with his brats.
Tonight, I'm gonna be the sweetest mother
those worthless little deer ticks have ever seen.
Congratulations, Ms. Chadwick, or should I
say Mrs. Willoughby?
Witherby, and no, please, just the sound of it
gives me the chills.
Nope, as soon as those papers are signed,
the only thing they're gonna see of me
are my tracks heading someplace exotic and fresh.
Cheers to that.
You always seem to get what you want.
It's my favorite personality trait.
Now, let me see it again.
OK.
But don't touch.
You realize if I get caught, I'm gonna get fired.
But Happy, if we don't do this,
you won't have a job anyways, so what's the difference?
You know, I never thought of it like that.
Did anybody ever tell you you're one smart cookie?
All the time.
That's what keeps getting me in trouble.
Well, you better get on home now before it gets dark.
Mel and your daddy will skin you alive.
But Happy, I want to help finish this.
Hey, it's gonna take a while to get it going.
Listen, I'll call you at 8:00 sharp
and let you know where I'm at, OK?
Promise?
Hey, promise.
OK, don't forget this.
Hey, hey, I got the plans, Now, go on.
Well, isn't anybody excited?
At long last, we finally got the entire family together.
Well, I know that I am, Stanley.
I have always wanted to have children.
I just never found the right man, until now.
And here they are, the best little kids in the world.
Sorry.
Oh, Sandra, that is so sweet.
Well, thank you, Melanie.
I guess I always did sort of have a way with words.
Everything OK, Sandra?
What?
Yeah, I thought I heard a trumpet for some reason.
You know, one of the neighbors is in the high school band.
I bet they're rehearsing.
Yeah, that's a problem with children,
they're so damn noisy.
That's just the tip of the iceberg, really.
Puny snots always wanting something.
"I want candy."
"I want attention."
"I want toys."
Greedy little monsters.
It's either that or else they want money, that's the worst.
How's that?
Well, don't get me wrong, I'm not
saying money's not important.
Hell, it's everything.
No, I always said I wouldn't marry
anybody unless they had money.
Mr. Right's gotta fork over the cash, you know what I mean?
Not like old Stanley here.
Sorry, buddy.
Otherwise how could he be Mr. Right?
And those kids always needing attention?
Oh, God, who needs that kind of aggravation?
Mommy, can you help me do my homework?
Mommy, please, play with me.
Mommy, tell me you love me.
Oh, God, a woman gets so she wants
to smack them like a harp seal.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, take your kids for instance,
they are without a doubt, the nastiest,
most cloying little twerps I've ever
had the displeasure of meeting.
Don't you agree?
How right you are, mom.
You know, this male really doesn't taste very good,
now that I think about it.
I think it's giving me the vapors.
What's the vapors?
Farts.
Now, that is much better.
Was that you?
Wasn't me.
Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
Whoever denies it, supplies it.
Sh.
Let's go get him now.
He's all alone.
Cool your tool, hot rod.
We'll get there.
And when we do, we're gonna wax him real good.
[laughter]
What do you mean wax him?
Oh, yeah, that.
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby.
[engine sputtering]
Ho-ho!
[engine humming]
Oh, man.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh, that's oil.
[laughter] I'm rich!
I'm rich!
Oh, no, I'm probably fired.
But I don't care!
Woo-hoo!
I'm moving to the city!
(SINGING) Happy Jensen is my name.
H-A-P-P-Y. Whew!
Playing in the park is my favorite game.
P-A-R-K-Y. Happy, Parky.
Happy, Parky!
Where's my dog Sparky?
[laughter] Woo!
I'm sorry you had to hear that, kids.
I don't know what came over her.
It's OK, dad.
You'll find someone else.
Thanks, baby.
That's nice of you to say.
Dad, I need to talk to you about the Elm
Grove project and Mr. Hampton.
Not now, Justin.
I'm gonna go to sleep and hopefully
not dream about anything.
But dad I need to talk to you now.
Justin, it's late.
Tomorrow, I promise.
But there's oil in Elm Grove Park.
That's why Mr. Hampton wants to buy the park,
so he can tear it down and move oil wells everywhere
and make a million dollars.
Justin, I think it's great that this park means
so much to you and your sister.
I think it's great that you found something
that's worth fighting for it.
But this is daddy's work.
Everything I'm doing is for this family.
I've already told you that I wouldn't let anything
bad happen to Elm Grove Park.
Don't you believe me?
Don't you believe me?
No.
H-A-P-P-Y.
[inaudible]
Hey!
Park's closed!
You'll have to come back tomorrow morning!
Hey, Wheezer, light a fire under it.
Come on, we got work to do.
You sure you know to work this thing, Boofy?
What does it matter?
We'll just take it with us.
What?
Well, come on, carry something.
Hey, Boofy, how come I always gotta--
Boofy!
Jesse.
Justin, is that you?
Listen, I think Happy might be in trouble.
Why do you think that?
Me and him were working on--
on one of my science experiments.
And he was supposed to call me, but he never did.
I think he might be in trouble.
He probably forgot.
Maybe he thought it was too late.
Go back to bed.
I'm sure Happy is fine.
Why won't anyone ever believe me?
I believe you, Justin.
Will you help me?
I'll help you.
Hey, we can take our bikes.
No, it'll make too much noise.
They're locked up in the garage.
Wait, I've got it, Mel can help us.
No, don't tell Mel.
This is a job for kids.
Just trust me on this one, Justin.
Well, all we gotta do now is dump the body.
Wait a minute, we're not dumping any bodies.
What do you mean we ain't gonna dump the body?
You promised me we could dump a body.
I tell you what we do, we'll dump
the body at Mr. Hampton's and we'll let
him decide what to do with it.
OK, cool.
You know, sometimes you're pretty darn smart.
Well, that's why I'm the boss, blockhead.
Oh, now, who's being hurtful.
You're right, pal.
I'm sorry.
Go take the heavy part.
Can we pick him up?
Yeah, I think.
Ready?
OK, and let's go.
Hey.
I thought I heard little footsteps.
Mel, can you fly?
Sort of.
Great, we have to get somewhere really fast.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fly?
Did you just ask Mel if she could fly?
Justin, Mel's an angel from heaven.
Angel?
Hello, McFly, anybody in there?
Well, that guy could stand to lose a little bit of weight.
Ha!
Look who's talking.
Have you looked in the mirror lately?
You're no delicate flower.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I am very trim.
In what universe?
Whoa.
Better say your prayers, boys.
I'm the angel your mama never told you about.
You!
Wheezer, what are you doing?
I ain't doing it, Boof.
What?
Happy!
Happy, you OK?
Yeah, I guess they got some kind of knock out gas.
Justin, I got the oil.
The oil!
Yes!
Oil?
Well, what are we gonna do now?
City council is supposed to sign them papers tomorrow morning.
We just got to stop 'em.
Do you have any ideas, Mel?
Mel?
Well, that's weird.
Oh, goodness, Larry, who are you watching over today?
A couple of American tourists who got
caught by cannibals while on safari.
Seems they were videotaping when they were supposed
to be running for their lives.
Somebody should have a word with that Bob Saget guy.
You are just racking up those frequent flyer
miles, aren't you?
And how.
Listen, I got a message from the big fellow.
He's a little worried about the way you're handling this case.
Leaving those kids on their own?
Yeah.
Mel, he wants to replace you.
Oh, no, not now, not yet.
Mel.
Larry, listen, I love those kids and their dad.
And part of loving them is believing in them.
Now, I believe that they're gonna do the right thing.
Don't you?
Mel, you're taking a big risk here.
I know.
Things don't work out, the boss is going
to put you back on probation.
And you know what that means.
I know.
And you still want to leave them on their own?
Yeah.
Maybe you know what's best.
Good luck.
Where's my money?
In my vault. You can never be too safe with large sums
of money, my dear.
I want my money, Uncle Nellie, fast.
And you shall have it when the deal is closed.
What's eating you today?
Oh, don't tell me, your engagement party
didn't go off too well?
Let's just say things didn't go according to my plan.
I don't know what came over me.
I must have eaten something weird.
For your sake, things better still go on schedule.
Now run along, my dear.
I'd like to relax before the kill.
I like the way you think, Uncle Nelly.
I hate my life.
I know.
[doorbell ringing]
Mayor Ferguson, Mr. Willoughby, welcome.
It's, uh-- just call me Stan.
I will.
Good to see you, Stan.
How's it going?
My team of lawyers.
Go introduce yourself.
$3000 suits.
I've got bunions.
I know.
Say, before the press gets here, I'd
like to have your personal word as well as all
this legal mumbo-jumbo that you'll keep your promise
and leave the park open.
Frankly, sir, I'm shocked that you feel the need to ask,
but you shall have it, Mr. Mayor.
After all, a man is only as good as his word.
And here's a little demonstration of my resolve.
$100,000 for park improvements, just a little visual aid
for the fine people of Elm Grove,
just to show how dedicated I am to keep that park working.
I'm impressed.
Mr. Hampton, everything seems to be as discussed.
My only question is regarding the first paragraph
on page four.
The buyer is not to be held responsible for improvements
on property should they hamper access to said
property's mineral rights?
Just a standard real estate clause my attorneys
threw in, never used, in fact.
It just means that the building schedule could
be delayed if we were to find gold on the property
or oil or something.
Oil in Elm Grove, that's a good one, Mr. Hampton.
You have quite a sense of humor.
Well.
[laughter]
And so in short, I think today is a wonderful day
for the people of Elm Grove.
New jobs, new homes, and perhaps most importantly of all,
saving our park, a place for our children
to safely grow up in the lush bosom of mother nature.
This remarkable compromise was brought
about by myself and by Mr. Hampton
and by our city attorney Stan Witherby.
And now let's have a few words from the very generous Mr.
Hampton.
My good citizens, I solemnly pledge
to commit every single dollar you
see before you to the renovation and preservation
of glorious Elm Grove Park.
Justin, what if we're too late.
I don't know, Jesse, pedal faster.
(SINGING) Happy Jensen is my name.
H-A-P-P-Y.
Mr. Mayor, you're a wonderful speaker.
Did you have any formal training?
Well, I don't like to boast, but we have
a wonderful community theater-- - Oh, I'm sure we do.
--here in Elm Grove.
Stan, do you have those contracts?
Sure, the copies are in my briefcase.
We're doing a production of "Our Town" this weekend.
Is that right?
Yes, it's outdoors in the amphitheater.
HAMPTON: Ooh, very nice.
MAYOR: The students from the elementary school
[inaudible] a lot of the time.
It's great for parents, too.
[inaudible]
HAMPTON: I bet it is.
Mr. Hampton, here are the contracts.
Oh, very timely, Stan.
Here's your contract, Mr. Hampton.
I just need you to sign the last page.
Same for you, mayor.
I sure hope they believe us.
Me too.
Stop right there!
Mr. Hampton isn't gonna build any houses
and he's not gonna save the park either.
This deal is about to be blown, Willoughby,
and your career with it.
You'd better shut that kid of yours up.
Actually, I'm very interested in what he has to say.
Mr. Hampton wants the land because he
thinks he discovered oil on it.
Oil?
Is this true, Stan?
Oil?
Oil?
Oh, Mr. Willoughby, your children have some imagination.
Imagine oil in Elm Grove.
Oh, how precious.
OK, fun is over.
Now, would anyone mind getting back to work?
But it's true.
He's going to rip down the park and fill it with oil wells.
Now, now, now, young lady, I think we've had just about
enough of this foolishness.
No one believes that there's oil in Elm Grove.
We have proof.
Proof?
I don't see any proof, do you?
Hampton, you're gonna get your comeuppance.
If someone doesn't step in here
and remove these hurtful children,
I will be insulted past the point of consolation
and be forced to take my business elsewhere.
So unless someone has some proof--
Here's all the proof you need, Mr. Park killer!
Happy!
Why, you lying old bag of wind.
If there's oil in that park, that belongs to the city.
How dare you!
I will sue for--
It's on you, I'm gonna--
You already signed the contract!
[yelling]
Mr. Big Britches!
[interposing voices]
[whistling]
What do you say we go out and take a look for ourselves?
Go, Justin!
Out of my way, kids!
[suspenseful music]
Now what, Jessica?
If the city finds oil in that park,
they'll put their own oil wells in.
Then we still won't have a park.
What are we gonna do now?
I don't know.
I just wish Mel was here.
[twinkling]
Drat!
All my villainy for nothing!
[sobbing]
This way, Mr. Mayor.
Over here.
[inaudible]
Where are they?
Come on.
Stan, what's happening?
What's going on?
[interposing voices]
Kids, stay away from the mayor.
[inaudible]
Watch my briefcase.
Watch my-- oh, careful, my feet.
This way, Mayor, come on.
Woo!
Welcome to Happy Land now, Mr. Hampton.
Watch your bunions, Mr. Mayor.
Watch your step.
[laughter] Woo!
Woo-hoo!
MAYOR: [groaning]
Woo!
Ow!
Oh, ho-ho!
Oh, my feet!
Come here, you gorgeous oil, you.
Give me that!
Get away from it!
Oh my God, it's oil.
Oh, no, we're too late!
It isn't oil.
That's chocolate syrup.
It is, it's chocolate syrup.
I love chocolate syrup.
I hate chocolate syrup.
It's delicious in milk.
Hello, Mr. Witherby.
Mel?
If I recall correctly, there was a factory here
in Elm Grove that made chocolate bars for the soldiers
during World War II.
They must have buried their surplus right here.
And I guess over time, a lot of those old cans
leaked into the soil.
Look.
Well, oil or no oil, it's all too late now.
Mr. Mayor, you've already signed over documents giving
me sole ownership of this land.
And because you've all cost me so much trouble,
I'm going to pave over this entire place.
I'll make sure that there will never be a park here, never.
Not so fast, Mr. Hampton.
You've never had this property, in the first place.
These papers you signed back at the office,
they're a contract saying that you agree
to give the city of Elm Grove ownership
of this park in perpetuity without ever
making another claim on it.
Perpetuity?
That's right.
It means forever.
I know.
And I'm sure the children of Elm Grove
will be forever grateful.
Oh, God!
Fantastic, Stan.
You saved the park.
Thanks, Fergie, but I couldn't do it all alone.
I had a lot of help.
Thanks, dad.
Didn't I tell you that I wouldn't let anything
bad happen to the park, huh?
Give me a hug, you guys.
Come here.
That's special.
Mel?
Come on, let's go home.
Last one's a monkey's uncle.
LARRY: Nice work, slugger.
A certain mother wants you to know she
thanks you with all her heart.
Tell her the pleasure was all mine.
Stan, I can't thank you enough for helping
me find a new location for my Toys for Kids program.
I couldn't have done it without you.
I don't have the money right now to pay you.
Oh, please, Amanda, forget about it.
It's my pleasure.
Thanks, Stan.
Uh, what you did was really sweet.
If there's anything I can do for you--
Well, there is something, maybe.
Yes?
Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?
I would love to.
That's great.
Let me walk you up to the door.
Thanks, hon.
[twinkling]
DIRECTOR: And action.
What am I gonna do with you guys?
I'm sorry, wrong line.
[laughter]
Not so fast, Mr. Hampton.
You've never had this property in the first place.
Those paper-- I'm sorry, these papers you signed, OK.
I just wish he can really--
DIRECTOR: That's OK.
Let's do that one line.
Needs butter.
I just wish--
I just--
DIRECTOR: It's OK.
[inaudible]
I'm not getting this.
DIRECTOR: It's all right.
Take out the paper, please, the whole thing.
[laughing]
Actually, I'm very interested in what he has to say.
Where are we starting?
Yeah, my god.
DIRECTOR: Just get it away from your hair.
[inaudible]
Wait, let me just do it one more time.
Wow.
Well, that just ain't normal.
That's not normal.
It's Abby Normal.
DIRECTOR: And action.
[inaudible]
And here they are, the best little kids in the world.
You're looking at the very answer to our city's, uh--
You're looking-- I'll say it is.
He gave that park to the city in a moment of--
in a moment-- he gave that--
in 1897.
Caretaker's leaving.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
Come on, he's leaving.
Here, come on.
Start the thing with the thing and then we'll go.
Because he will drive, and then after him
we'll follow or something like that.
I don't really know where we're going.
Caretaker's leaving.
Let's get out of here.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Go, go.
Go.
Go.
Go.
Go! Go!
Hurry!
Hurry!
I'm going.
Listen, you know the routine.
Get this thing taken quickly--
A couple of American tourists who got caught by can--
With money from--
from our-- our poor, old, sick grandmom--
father, yeah.
You got it all wrong, lady.
This dork, he tried to steal our caramel corn.
Guacamole, don't mind if I do.
Well, to tell you the truth, Stan, I was kind of telling--
We are a non-profit organization
that makes free toys to kids.
All right, well, let's try another question.
What is the ingredient used?
What?
Maybe we should get some close ups now.
That's rotelli, isn't it?
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
What are you talking about?
You're mistaken.
I'm not--
OK, you're--
It's rotelli!
What' are you talking--
Get him off me!
[groaning]
Get--
[music playing]
JESSICA (VOICEOVER): Dear God, it's been real hard
since mommy's been gone.
And it gets tougher every day.
My brother's crazy science projects
just keep on getting him in trouble,
even though he means well by them.
And daddy's so busy with work now,
he doesn't spend any time with us anymore.
Yesterday, he asked me how school was going in the middle
of summer vacation.
And when he does have some free time,
he spends it all with his gross new girlfriend Sandra.
Justin and I hate her.
Well, maybe not hate her, God, but we sure don't like
being around her very much.
God, isn't there something you can do to help us?
I'm really worried about my family.
We sure can use a helping hand right about now.
Yours truly, Jessica Witherby.
Good morning, Justin.
Good morning, Daddy.
Oh, sorry, Jessica.
Where's your brother?
Justin's in the garage helping Peggy with the laundry.
Really?
He's working on another one of his science projects.
Dad, are you late again?
I know you're late when you try to drink
your coffee in one gulp.
Sweetheart, once you become a grown up, you're always late.
Oh.
Oh.
I'll get the club soda.
No, no, no, there's no time.
I'll just change ties.
[scatting]
(WHISPERING) Thar she blows.
[screaming]
Justin Witherby!
What do you think, Pegs?
I know, I know, it's really awesome, isn't it?
It's my newest labor saving device.
I'm calling it speedy clean.
Your father doesn't pay me enough to be your Guinea
pig as well as your maid.
Why don't you go out and play in traffic, kid,
or make yourself useful and invent something
that gets the clothes cleaner?
I'm already on it.
Get out!
Kids!
Stan, honey, pumpkin?
Children?
Oh, little Jessica, it's so good to see you.
Hi, Sandra.
Hi, baby.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
I think I'm losing my mind.
Has anyone seen my briefcase?
It's in the--
Living room, I just saw it in there.
The living room, thanks, Sandra.
Why so quiet today, dumpling?
Something bothering you?
Yeah, you make me sick.
What was that?
Oh, I said, yeah, I'm feeling sick.
Oh my, I certainly hope it isn't anything serious, angel.
I am so looking forward to spending time with you kids.
Yes, ma'am, I can hardly wait.
Oh, hello, Justin.
We were just talking about you.
Let me guess, you've been off torturing the new nanny again,
hmm?
Well, I hope she doesn't quit.
That would be, let me see, six this year?
You're in my seat.
STAN: Found it.
Oh, darling.
Good call.
OK, you guys, I'll see you tonight.
Morning, Mitch.
Morning, Stan.
What are you looking at?
Looks like you've got jelly in your leg.
Jelly?
Oh, that little--
Oh, well.
I guess I got it in the kitchen.
That little Jessica is a pistol.
Oh, well.
Raspberry jelly goes great with olive green.
[gunshots]
I'm John.
I'm Jerry.
And this is--
BOTH: Pasta Talk.
JOHN (ON TV): Today we're gonna talk
about our two favorite pastas.
[gunshots]
--that you can take your fork and actually skewer
through the hole in the pasta without
actually damaging the pasta? JOHN (ON TV): Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. JERRY (ON TV): That's--
I mean, that's--
Justin, what are you doing now?
Driving nanny Peg crazy.
I have three mirrors placed around the house.
And since the remote works on infrared, check this.
PEGGY: [yelling]
Cool.
What the hell is going on with this thing?
JERRY (ON TV): But that's a personal favorite of mine.
Oh!
What's that?
No!
Oh!
Uh-oh.
Justin, what's going on?
That's my new laundry detergent.
I call it Power Scrub.
I guess it still needs a little work.
[burp]
Please, Betty, do we have to go over this again?
You look moderately intelligent.
My name's Amanda.
I just wanted a minute to speak with the man who's making
children cry all over town.
Children cry, that's what they do.
You may as well ask me to stop dogs from barking.
Why are you evicting me and my Toys for Kids program?
You promised we could keep that space until after Christmas.
I don't understand how you can do this,
take toys away from children.
Have you no heart?
I have heart for my investors.
They made a simple business decision based on the fact
that your profits aren't high enough.
They want results.
Profits?
We are a non-profit company that gives free toys to kids.
That may very well explain your problem.
You have no heart.
You have no profits.
Wow, what a house.
Well, Mr. Hampton is the wealthiest man in Elm Grove.
I wonder why he wants to see you.
I guess we'll find out soon enough.
Mr. Willoughby, Mr. Hampton.
Oh, it's Witherby.
Um, uh, the door was open.
I know.
Please, call me Stan.
I will.
And this is my legal secretary Sandra.
Sandra, delighted.
Are you from around here?
Uh, this is a very small town, and I don't recall
ever seeing such a pretty face.
Oh, thank you.
Actually, I've just been here a few weeks.
Oh, and how do you like our little town so far?
I love it.
Wonderful.
Please, have a seat.
Now, shall we get down to business?
Elm Grove Acres, the big announcement everyone's
been waiting for.
It's certainly very impressive.
I'll say it is.
In one quick stroke, I'll create 1,000 jobs and a massive boost
to the local economy, not to mention a hundred new homes
for new families to move in.
Oh my, that sounds wonderful Mr. Hampton.
Yes, but I'm a little unclear why you invited me here.
I'm only the city attorney.
Unfortunately, there's a little catch.
I'll need Elm Grove Park to build it on.
The children's park?
That's city property.
They're not going to allow you to build there.
I'm not so sure.
If you recall in 1897, that piece of property
was deeded to the city by my grandfather, Mr. Hampton I.
It belongs to my family and I want it back.
I'm going to offer the city a deal.
Sell back my family property at a modest price
and I'll use it to get this economy back on its feet again.
But what about the park?
That's the playground for most of the children in town.
Well, that's the beautiful part.
I plan to leave one third of the park as is.
I'll even put in $100,000 for new playground equipment.
They'll have their park, the city will have their jobs,
and I'll have my subdivision.
Wow, it sounds like everybody wins.
Maybe.
Again, I'm not quite sure what you want me to do.
As city attorney, I want you to look over the plans very,
very carefully.
As an old friend of the mayor's, I know your recommendation
will weigh very heavily.
I'll look it over.
You know, Stan, when we start building,
I'm going to need a smart local attorney
to see these plans through.
Ever think of working for a private firm?
There is great money and family friendly hours.
Around here, the whistle blows at 5 o'clock.
Two of my attorneys are little league coaches.
Are you trying to bribe me, Mr. Hampton?
Bribe you?
[laughter] Good heavens, no.
I just think it's a shame to see a man of your obvious talent
underpaid and overworked.
You'll put your promise about keeping the park in writing?
Absolutely.
Heck, I love kids.
I don't want to take their park away from them.
You could be the man that helps Elm
Grove reach its finest hour.
How exciting.
What do you think?
I'm not quite sure yet.
I don't know if I like the idea of tearing up 60% of that park.
Jessica and Justin play there.
Yeah, but what about all the new playground
equipment and all those jobs and the new houses.
Everybody wins.
I think it's just swell.
You do?
Absolutely.
And Hampton was just about begging you to come to work
for him after this is all over.
Sandra, please, I can't let that influence my decision.
Of course not.
But just think about what working for Hampton
would mean for us and, I mean, for the kids.
Yeah, I would like to spend more time with them.
Why would he want to be with somebody like her?
She's a big, dumb phony.
And he hardly spends any time with us anymore.
He's been real lonely since mom died.
Maybe he's hoping that Sandra can make him happy again.
I've gotta do something scientific
to her, something really messy.
Don't even think about it.
The last thing dad needs right now is
something new to worry about.
We're all he's got now, Justin.
We've got to support him no matter what.
Oh, no.
Well, look at what we got here.
If it isn't dork and sister of dork.
What do they want?
Revenge.
Last time I goofy glued their bike chains.
Cost my dad 20 bucks to fix my bike.
And he grounded me.
Yeah, mine too.
So the way we figure it is, we might just
have to beat up on you a little, you know,
to help make us feel better.
Like my dad always says, share the pain.
Share this.
Run!
Idiot!
Come on, get up!
Faster, Justin!
Down here.
Cut 'em off!
Hiya, kids.
Happy, help us.
Hey, fellers.
Looks like you all are having some fun.
Yes, yes, sir.
We were having a race.
Well, it looks like you boys lost.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, well, we did.
We gotta-- we gotta go now.
We're late for Boy Scouts.
Yeah, uh, come on.
Come on, Tommy.
Later days, dude.
We'll race again, real soon.
See you fellers later.
How about a couple of cold sodas?
BOTH: Thanks, Happy.
I've been meaning to ask you something, Justin.
You ever seen one of these before?
Yeah.
It looks like a collection tube for soil samples.
Where did you find it?
Well, I found a couple of them down by the creek bed.
Why do you reckon they'd be there?
I don't know.
Maybe somebody is looking for something.
That's a smart answer.
So what did we get, Boofy?
Dirt, Wheezer.
Dirt?
That's what I said.
Boofy, why are we whispering?
We're whispering because Mr. Hampton told us that nobody
was supposed to see us here.
You know, we could have stolen some dirt from my backyard.
I got plenty of it.
And we wouldn't even have to whisper.
Do you want me to hit you?
No.
Good, because I don't want do either.
It hurts me when I have to hit you.
Really?
Because, you know, it hurts me too.
Then why don't you just shut up!
Sh.
Sh.
Shut up and let Mr. Hampton do the thinking.
We are just the bumbling thugs.
Right.
Well, I gotta go now kids.
Y'all take care.
Hey, leave your bottles, OK?
I recycle.
Thank you for the sodas, Happy.
All right, y'all take care.
The caretaker is leaving.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on, he's leaving, let's get out of here.
Will you stop hitting me and turn the car on!
Let's go, go, go!
Oh.
This kid is a pig.
Ow!
Oh, so this is where this has been.
Guacamole, don't mind if I do.
What the heck?
Boy, that was great, the faces on Jimmy and Tommy
when they saw that Happy showed up.
I know.
He looked like he was gonna die or something.
Oh, no!
[screaming]
You know, I can explain this.
I quit.
Peg, what the heck happened?
I'm going back to the army.
It pays the same and it's a heck of a lot easier.
Anybody got a [inaudible]?
You know, it's really kind of funny when you think about it.
Move.
She told me the blender wasn't working right.
She thought the blade was moving too slow.
So you helped by speeding it up?
Yeah, but she took it out of my room
before I was able to finish.
Listen, guys, I know things have been tough
since your mother--
well, you know.
But you guys can't keep on behaving like this.
Now, I'm about to start a big project and I need your help.
You're always in the middle of a project.
This one is different.
This one just might change everything for us.
After this, we'll be able to spend much more time together.
Dad, you always say that.
This time is gonna be different, I promise.
I'll call the agency tonight.
We can start looking for a new nanny again tomorrow.
Dear God, I sent you a letter asking
if you can fix up our family.
Please try to do what you can.
It doesn't have to be anything fancy.
I just want us to be happy again.
Let me know if you have any questions.
Amen.
So what do you think it is, Mr. Hampton, sir?
Well, I'm pretty sure it's dirt,
you simpleton, and I'm going to need more of it.
Well, it was pretty dicey in that park, sir.
If you just want more dirt, I got plenty of it back--
Hey.
What he means, sir, is that that caretaker guy almost caught us.
And I'm quite sure he would have threw
us out for dirt snatching.
I've already taken care of that.
Here is your new cover.
Anyone asks you, you're working for the EPA.
Does this come in any other color?
You do know what that stands for?
Oh, yeah, sure.
It's the E-P-A.
It stands for the Environmental
Protection Agency.
You're supposedly looking for hazardous wastes.
You do know what those are, don't you?
Oh, yes, sir.
We worked for Potties on Wheels for two years.
Two years.
Anyway, it won't take you long to find what I'm looking for.
Which is?
Money.
Justin, Justin.
What time is it?
Sh.
Dad says we've gotta help him.
So I thought we could make breakfast for him.
That's a great idea.
NEWSCASTER (ON RADIO): And wealthy industrialist
Mr. Hampton promises to announce his plans
for a new development.
Now, here's Amanda Jacobs with the weather.
Justin, we've gotta be quick.
Dad's gonna be down soon.
Eggs.
Great, thanks.
Cool.
Milk.
[shattering]
Oh!
Ow!
Justin, we have to be more quiet.
Sorry, Jessie.
Justin, dad doesn't want cereal.
Go make coffee.
Gotta get jelly.
Justin, that's not coffee!
So?
Go finish the toast.
Ew.
You stepped in the butter.
It's all mushy.
[laughter]
Justin, stop it.
It tickles.
[humming]
What the--
Oh my God.
What are you guys doing?
Not my briefcase.
We were trying to help.
Just trying to help?
We made you breakfast.
What am I gonna do with you guys?
Dad, no!
Oh, for goodness sake.
This is a brand new shirt.
Are you guys trying to torture me or something?
Dad, we're really sorry.
I hope you don't mind, the door was open.
Who are you?
I'm Melanie Deangelo.
I was contacted by the Heaven Sent Nanny Agency.
You are looking for a nanny?
I never called the Heaven Sent Nanny Agency.
Oh, your agency was all booked.
So they called Heaven Sent and Heaven Sent called me.
Here are my papers.
Well, everything looks to be in order.
It's good to meet you, Melanie.
Oh, please, call me Mel.
You don't mind if I call the agency just
to confirm everything, do you?
Oh, not at all.
In fact, I'd be surprised if you didn't.
I have got a treat for you guys.
Come on, big guy.
I took the liberty of bringing along some breakfast with me.
It's always nice to start things off with a special treat.
Hello, Heaven Sent Nanny Agency?
Yes, I just wanted to check on a Melanie Deangelo.
Yummy!
And I believe these are for you, Jessica and Justin.
Wow, salmon rolls.
What do you mean you never heard of her?
[twinkling]
Oh, really?
Well, thank you very much.
Mom used to buy these for us all the time.
She sounds like a smart woman.
Playing all day is hard work.
You've gotta keep your strength up.
Thanks, Melanie.
Thanks, Melanie.
Hey, call me Mel.
It sounds more fun.
Well, everything checks out.
They even said you were the number one nanny.
That was nice of them.
So what's your schedule like?
When can you start?
How about now?
Now?
Sure.
That's great.
Here's my-- here's my number at work.
If you have any questions or problems, call me right away.
I will, Stan.
Now, you better hurry up and change your shirt.
You're already late for work.
You're right.
Oh, hang on.
This deal is worth millions to me.
There can't be any foul ups. Are you sure
he's going to go along with it?
Like a mouse goes for Swiss cheese.
I'm the only bright spot in his grim little life.
He'll do anything I say.
Isn't that what you're paying me for, Uncle Nelly?
For $50,000, you'd better be right.
I'm the best investment you ever made, trust me.
I'd rather trust a two-headed rattlesnake.
That's why you don't get a dime until that deal is signed.
Oh, uncle, you've hurt my very delicate feelings.
[doorbell ringing]
You'd better run along, my dear.
My moment of triumph has arrived.
Mr. Hampton, I wanted to tell you in person.
I've made my decision on your offer.
I'm going to take your plan to the mayor
with my recommendation.
I think this project can do a lot of good for our city.
Excellent!
Excellent, I knew you were the kind of man
who could grab an opportunity.
You've got a bright future in front of you,
son, mark my words.
OK, guys, I'm gonna clean this place up
and I'll join you guys at the park in a few minutes, OK?
See you there!
OK.
Wait, wait, wait.
Promise me one thing, you'll have
as much fun as you possibly can have without getting
into trouble, OK?
Bye.
Oh, I tell you, Stan, these bunions are filled with ache.
Oh, heavens.
You have bunions?
No, Mr. Mayor, no bunions.
Well, you can count your blessings for that.
Did I tell you I have to come out to this fountain
three times a day to soak 'em?
What do you think about the plan to develop the park?
Well, to tell you the truth, Stan,
I was kind of waiting for you to tell me what to think.
Go ahead, Stan, I can trust you.
I know you wouldn't sell the city a lemon.
I think the Elm Grove project will
be the best thing to happen to this town in a long time.
Do you think that fellow Hampton will
build a fountain over there?
I don't think so, Fergie.
Oh, too bad.
My poor feet.
Oh, good heavens.
Did you save me some Cheerios?
Good morning, Larry.
Hey, what's with the suit?
Who's guardian are you today?
Some poor movie producer who's getting audited by the IRS.
Listen, you know the routine, just get this thing taken
care of as quickly as possible.
And no fancy stuff, OK?
I resent that.
Now, remember, you just got off probation.
These people need to solve their own problems.
You're just here for guidance.
So no direct interference.
Remember what happened the last time?
I had nothing to do with that.
Mel, save it.
There's no way in heaven the '88 Dodgers would
have won without your help.
The only reason you're working again
is because the mother specifically chose you.
Try to do a nice, clean job, huh?
OK, Larry, I'll try to keep this one in the bag.
Thank God.
What do you think about the new nanny?
I like Mel.
She seems really nice.
Yeah, she's really cool.
Hey, Justin, look.
What do you think he's doing?
Let's go ask him.
Ah!
Hello.
I'm Justin and this is my sister Jessica.
And we were wondering what you're doing.
Hey, listen, kid, this here is important government business.
You kids should not be around here right now.
What are you looking for?
Looking for?
We're not looking for anything.
Hey.
You wait right here.
There's something weird about those guys.
Why'd you turn it off?
I didn't turn it off.
You probably broke it.
This whole thing's making me kind of nervous, Boofy.
Now, what's the story on those two?
Oh, they're just kids from the park, nothing to worry about.
Give me a hand with this thing.
Justin, what are you doing?
Hey, Boofy, what do you think this switch does?
Hey, kid, put that down!
Hey, kid, you don't want to have that.
That's official property!
We mean it, kid.
Don't make us have to stop you.
Justin, stop horsing around!
Give me that thing!
Ah!
Let's get out of here.
Ah, help!
Get this thing off of me!
Wait a minute, buddy.
I got you pal.
[yelling]
Mel?
What happened to the part about you
guys not getting into trouble?
What do we do?
It looks like they need help.
[groaning]
I got it.
I got it.
I think you're right.
[twinkling]
Let go!
I can't.
[mud splattering]
[coughing]
OK, you guys, let's hit it.
Hey, Happy.
Hey, kids.
How are you all today?
This is our new nanny, Melanie Deangelo.
But she likes to be called Mel.
Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
Pleasure's all mine, Happy.
Hey, Happy, you know those guys down by the creek bed?
Yeah.
I don't think they're from the government at all.
You know, I was thinking the same thing,
but they got the right IDs.
God knows we'll see a lot more than folk
around here before it's all over.
What's the matter, Happy?
What's going on?
It seems like that big business man Hampton,
I think his name is, he wants to take over the park.
He wants to build a mess of homes for rich folk here.
Take away the park?
They can't do that.
Yeah, there's laws or something.
Aren't there?
Well, I don't know the exact details,
but the city council's meeting about it this week.
They say building homes will put people back to work.
And it seems people want jobs a sight more
than they do parks these days.
Our dad's a lawyer, maybe he can do something.
I didn't want to be the one to have to tell you all,
but your daddy's working helping this Hampton feller.
Our dad?
No way.
Mel, is this true?
Why don't we go find out?
See y'all.
I just can't stress enough how happy
I am to have Stan Willoughby--
Uh, Witherby.
--representing us with this proposal to the city.
Mr. Witherby, how do you respond
to critics who say the city doesn't have
the right to sell the park?
Let's just make this clear from the outset
because I don't want any of the citizens of our great city
getting any wrong ideas.
We are not going to destroy the park.
More than a full third of the land
will remain intact for children and families alike to enjoy.
Mr. Hampton's generous gift of over $100,000
for landscaping and new playground equipment
should make the park more enjoyable for everyone.
And this is on top of creating jobs,
jobs that are necessary to get our economy moving again.
Mr. Witherby, one last question,
will the new development have a fountain
for the mayor's bunions?
Uh, well, I--
I don't-- I don't think we've worked out
all the details on that yet.
I don't want to watch anymore.
Mm, chili.
It tastes just like it used to.
Welcome home, Mr. Witherby.
Mel, did you make this chili?
Yes, I did.
Is it too spicy?
No, no, not at all.
It--
Tastes just like moms used to, doesn't it, Daddy?
Yeah, honey, it sure does.
Dad, we saw you on television today.
Is that really true?
You're gonna help them tear down our park?
Justin, they're not gonna tear down your park.
There's gonna be more swings, more jungle gyms.
But, Dad, why do they have to mess with it?
Why can't they just leave it alone?
It's perfect the way it is.
Come on, Justin, you're still gonna have a third of the park.
Justin, what are you doing?
Come on, Dad, you still have a third of the chili.
Listen, guys, this is a long talk we need to have
together when I get back.
For the time being, you're just gonna
have to believe that I'm not gonna let anything
bad happen to the park.
Unfortunately, right now I have to change
for an important dinner date with Sandra.
But what about the chili?
Don't worry, honey, I'll have some when I get home.
But Dad--
Later Justin, tomorrow, I promise.
Hey, you two look like a couple of sad sacks.
He doesn't care about us anymore.
It's all about Sandra.
Sandra this and Sandra that.
She's not our mom.
You know she never will be.
I just wish he never met her.
She's mean on purpose.
Oh, hey, have you guys thought about how hard it
must be for your dad right now?
He's got to raise you two kids on his very own, two kids who
right now are only thinking about themselves, who are
forgetting that he loves you more than anything
else in the entire world.
And he'd do anything in his power to make you happy.
He needs your love right now and he
needs you to believe that he's going
to do the right thing, OK?
Hey, let's go on an adventure.
So what do you guys feel like doing?
We have the whole day to ourselves.
Well, maybe we can go see a movie.
That's one vote for the movies.
Justin, what do you feel like doing?
What about a video arcade?
No way, that's boring.
OK.
Let's go get something to eat.
Mel, look, they have potpourri.
Can we get some?
Sure, sweetie.
Justin, you want to get something?
Maybe a raspberry scented candle?
Yeah, right.
I'm gonna go across the street and get something to eat.
OK, but look both ways when you cross, OK?
OK.
Mel, can we go inside?
Sure.
I can't wait till we get them.
Hey, hey, hey, if it isn't Doctor Frankenturd.
Time to beat that big brain of yours, huh, turd?
Oh, what do you got there?
Caramel corn, imagine that, just like it says on the box.
I'm gonna caramel corn your face, funny boy.
Hand it over.
In your dreams.
Give up the corn, clown!
This is so fun.
I love hanging out with you, Mel.
You too, sweetie.
Let's go check on Justin.
But what about the potpourri?
Oh, we'll come back for it.
OK.
Put it in my hand now!
Now, that is no way to ask for something.
Here, watch me.
Excuse me, Justin, may I please have a taste of your candy?
Sure, help yourself.
Thanks.
This stuff is actually pretty good.
You got it all wrong, lady.
This dork, he stole our caramel corn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
My brother and I, we just bought it.
Yeah.
With money from--
from our poor old sick grandpa.
Yeah.
And he tried to steal it.
Really?
Yeah
That's not true.
I bought it.
Now, Justin, you know how strongly I feel about stealing.
Yeah.
Yeah, stealing is wrong.
But Mel.
Justin, you're just gonna have to give it back.
Fine.
[twinkling]
[gagging]
Water!
Water!
Water!
Gotta have some water!
Water!
Liver?
Mel, how did you do that?
Oh, you guys should be careful.
They put the craziest things in snacks these days.
Eight.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Connecticut Avenue.
Read it and weep.
$7, fork it over.
Justin, you are a tycoon.
I've got great news, everybody.
Sandra and I are going to get married.
Isn't it great?
Justin?
Oh, no, no, no.
Honey, he'll be fine.
The kids are in bed.
Here, let me give you a hand.
The kids aren't too thrilled with me getting
married to Sandra, are they?
Well, Mr. Witherby, your wife's death
hit the family really hard.
I don't know, maybe you should give your family
a little more time to heal.
I appreciate your concern, Mel, but my kids need a mother.
Jessica's always getting in fights.
Justin spends half the week in the principal's office.
They need guidance, and I'm just too busy.
They need a mother right now.
And I'm sure they will grow to love Sandra.
I understand, Mr. Witherby.
I'm sure your kids will be happy with whatever makes you happy.
I just hope this is what will make you happy.
Oh, there I go again, you hardly even know me
and here I am telling you how to live your life.
I'm sorry.
No, no, don't be.
I'm glad you care enough to say something.
Yes, sir.
Well, I guess I'll be hitting the hay.
Oh, Mr. Witherby?
Yeah?
You know you have some really wonderful children.
They love you so much.
Well, good night.
Good night.
I forget how tired I get being down here.
As we all like to say up on top, gravity sucks.
Where on earth have you been?
Oh, man, a burning convention hall full of advertising execs.
Terrible stuff, really.
People begging for forgiveness, crying, trying
to strike deals with God.
Larry, you draw some tough assignments.
Speaking of assignments, I haven't noticed
any major progress on yours.
Hey, I am working miracles around here as fast as I can.
Save the sob story for the big guy upstairs.
Just finish the job.
We're on a timetable here.
And one last thing, be careful.
Every time you get too close to the subjects,
all hell breaks loose.
That is exactly the problem, Larry.
If I can't get close to them, I can't help them.
[twinkling]
What are you doing?
I was gonna heat up some chili and put it in your eggs,
but I'm having a tough time lighting the stove.
Why are you looking at me like that?
The stove is electric.
Uh-huh?
No gas.
No gas?
Nope.
And why don't you just use the microwave?
Microwave?
That was my plan B.
Sure, Mel.
I knew it.
Watch out, Mel, it's pretty hot.
Sure, it's microwaved.
Bye, Mel, back later.
OK, be back in time for lunch.
And don't chew that apple while you're riding your bike!
Where do you come from, Mel?
That's a strange question.
Why did you ask that?
Because you already seem to know us.
And you've been doing magic stuff, the hose squirting
those men, Jimmy and Tommy.
Give me a break, liver popcorn?
Come on, Mel, fess up.
Oh, I didn't do any of that.
That was just coincidence.
It was luck.
What about these?
Are these just coincidence?
I found one at the park after you rescued me
and Justin, one in the hallway in front of your room.
You come from heaven, don't you, from up there?
You have to tell the truth.
Angels aren't allowed to lie.
OK, Jess, I'm from up there.
Did God send you because of my letter?
So does mom know you're here?
Yes, honey, she knows.
I knew it.
Congratulations, boys, you finally found
what I've been looking for.
Well, heck, Mr. Hampton, there's
plenty more dirt down there.
You can have all you want.
Put a cork in it, moron.
What he means is that he finally found
good quality dirt to build all those pretty homes on.
Wrong again.
The homes in Elm Grove Park are only part two of my plan.
Part one will go much faster and will be much more lucrative.
What's part one?
None of your business, fish face.
Oh, I'm sorry, Buffy, I didn't realize you were so sensitive.
All the kids in third grade used to call me fish face.
I know.
I think it's very hurtful.
Really, well, I feel terrible.
I tell you what, you two guys go back to the park
tonight and keep an eye out for unwanted visitors,
I'll give you each a big bonus.
How does that sound?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are you still here?
No, no, no.
We were just leaving.
Hurtful, I like that.
Oil refineries, the perfect touch.
[laughing]
[chatter]
Happy, Happy, I've gotta tell you something.
Slow down, partner.
We got speed limits in this here park.
Happy, I've gotta tell you.
You're never gonna believe it.
I've done heard about that Hampton feller.
Isn't that something?
He's gonna let most of the park stand.
Heck, the park might be a little smaller,
but it'll be grander than ever.
No, he's not, Happy, he isn't gonna save the park,
he's gonna ruin it.
You're talking crazy now, boy.
I heard it myself on the news.
Those government guys, they were looking for oil.
As soon as the city signs the land over to Hampton,
he's gonna start drilling.
Settle down, Justin, now that's
a real humdinger of a tale.
What proof you got?
I tested the soil myself.
If we get a bigger sample, I can give it to my dad
and he'll give it to the mayor.
And the mayor will kill the deal.
If you help me build this pump, we can suck the proof right out
of the ground.
Oh, really?
Hmm, heck, let's see what I got in the tool shed.
This used to be my mom's flower garden.
She kept it filled with roses and daisies.
Hmm, I do like daisies.
Do you think mommy would want dad to be with Sandra?
I don't know.
But I do know she'd want him to be happy.
She doesn't like Justin and me.
She even told Justin that when daddy was out of the room once.
I just wish he could see what she's really like, the side
that me and my brother see.
Come on, Jess, let's go figure out what
we're gonna do about supper.
I'll race you.
OK, you're on.
I always did like daisies.
Such a pretty, pretty shade of green.
It goes with your devious eyes, little niece. $50,000,
payment for getting that dope Witherby
to go along with my little land grab, money well spent.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
You'll get it tomorrow, when I have the city's deed
in my own two little hands.
Now, would you like to join me in a very expensive dinner?
Oh, shoot, I can't.
Stan and I are having our engagement dinner
with his brats.
Tonight, I'm gonna be the sweetest mother
those worthless little deer ticks have ever seen.
Congratulations, Ms. Chadwick, or should I
say Mrs. Willoughby?
Witherby, and no, please, just the sound of it
gives me the chills.
Nope, as soon as those papers are signed,
the only thing they're gonna see of me
are my tracks heading someplace exotic and fresh.
Cheers to that.
You always seem to get what you want.
It's my favorite personality trait.
Now, let me see it again.
OK.
But don't touch.
You realize if I get caught, I'm gonna get fired.
But Happy, if we don't do this,
you won't have a job anyways, so what's the difference?
You know, I never thought of it like that.
Did anybody ever tell you you're one smart cookie?
All the time.
That's what keeps getting me in trouble.
Well, you better get on home now before it gets dark.
Mel and your daddy will skin you alive.
But Happy, I want to help finish this.
Hey, it's gonna take a while to get it going.
Listen, I'll call you at 8:00 sharp
and let you know where I'm at, OK?
Promise?
Hey, promise.
OK, don't forget this.
Hey, hey, I got the plans, Now, go on.
Well, isn't anybody excited?
At long last, we finally got the entire family together.
Well, I know that I am, Stanley.
I have always wanted to have children.
I just never found the right man, until now.
And here they are, the best little kids in the world.
Sorry.
Oh, Sandra, that is so sweet.
Well, thank you, Melanie.
I guess I always did sort of have a way with words.
Everything OK, Sandra?
What?
Yeah, I thought I heard a trumpet for some reason.
You know, one of the neighbors is in the high school band.
I bet they're rehearsing.
Yeah, that's a problem with children,
they're so damn noisy.
That's just the tip of the iceberg, really.
Puny snots always wanting something.
"I want candy."
"I want attention."
"I want toys."
Greedy little monsters.
It's either that or else they want money, that's the worst.
How's that?
Well, don't get me wrong, I'm not
saying money's not important.
Hell, it's everything.
No, I always said I wouldn't marry
anybody unless they had money.
Mr. Right's gotta fork over the cash, you know what I mean?
Not like old Stanley here.
Sorry, buddy.
Otherwise how could he be Mr. Right?
And those kids always needing attention?
Oh, God, who needs that kind of aggravation?
Mommy, can you help me do my homework?
Mommy, please, play with me.
Mommy, tell me you love me.
Oh, God, a woman gets so she wants
to smack them like a harp seal.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, take your kids for instance,
they are without a doubt, the nastiest,
most cloying little twerps I've ever
had the displeasure of meeting.
Don't you agree?
How right you are, mom.
You know, this male really doesn't taste very good,
now that I think about it.
I think it's giving me the vapors.
What's the vapors?
Farts.
Now, that is much better.
Was that you?
Wasn't me.
Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
Whoever denies it, supplies it.
Sh.
Let's go get him now.
He's all alone.
Cool your tool, hot rod.
We'll get there.
And when we do, we're gonna wax him real good.
[laughter]
What do you mean wax him?
Oh, yeah, that.
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby.
[engine sputtering]
Ho-ho!
[engine humming]
Oh, man.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh, that's oil.
[laughter] I'm rich!
I'm rich!
Oh, no, I'm probably fired.
But I don't care!
Woo-hoo!
I'm moving to the city!
(SINGING) Happy Jensen is my name.
H-A-P-P-Y. Whew!
Playing in the park is my favorite game.
P-A-R-K-Y. Happy, Parky.
Happy, Parky!
Where's my dog Sparky?
[laughter] Woo!
I'm sorry you had to hear that, kids.
I don't know what came over her.
It's OK, dad.
You'll find someone else.
Thanks, baby.
That's nice of you to say.
Dad, I need to talk to you about the Elm
Grove project and Mr. Hampton.
Not now, Justin.
I'm gonna go to sleep and hopefully
not dream about anything.
But dad I need to talk to you now.
Justin, it's late.
Tomorrow, I promise.
But there's oil in Elm Grove Park.
That's why Mr. Hampton wants to buy the park,
so he can tear it down and move oil wells everywhere
and make a million dollars.
Justin, I think it's great that this park means
so much to you and your sister.
I think it's great that you found something
that's worth fighting for it.
But this is daddy's work.
Everything I'm doing is for this family.
I've already told you that I wouldn't let anything
bad happen to Elm Grove Park.
Don't you believe me?
Don't you believe me?
No.
H-A-P-P-Y.
[inaudible]
Hey!
Park's closed!
You'll have to come back tomorrow morning!
Hey, Wheezer, light a fire under it.
Come on, we got work to do.
You sure you know to work this thing, Boofy?
What does it matter?
We'll just take it with us.
What?
Well, come on, carry something.
Hey, Boofy, how come I always gotta--
Boofy!
Jesse.
Justin, is that you?
Listen, I think Happy might be in trouble.
Why do you think that?
Me and him were working on--
on one of my science experiments.
And he was supposed to call me, but he never did.
I think he might be in trouble.
He probably forgot.
Maybe he thought it was too late.
Go back to bed.
I'm sure Happy is fine.
Why won't anyone ever believe me?
I believe you, Justin.
Will you help me?
I'll help you.
Hey, we can take our bikes.
No, it'll make too much noise.
They're locked up in the garage.
Wait, I've got it, Mel can help us.
No, don't tell Mel.
This is a job for kids.
Just trust me on this one, Justin.
Well, all we gotta do now is dump the body.
Wait a minute, we're not dumping any bodies.
What do you mean we ain't gonna dump the body?
You promised me we could dump a body.
I tell you what we do, we'll dump
the body at Mr. Hampton's and we'll let
him decide what to do with it.
OK, cool.
You know, sometimes you're pretty darn smart.
Well, that's why I'm the boss, blockhead.
Oh, now, who's being hurtful.
You're right, pal.
I'm sorry.
Go take the heavy part.
Can we pick him up?
Yeah, I think.
Ready?
OK, and let's go.
Hey.
I thought I heard little footsteps.
Mel, can you fly?
Sort of.
Great, we have to get somewhere really fast.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fly?
Did you just ask Mel if she could fly?
Justin, Mel's an angel from heaven.
Angel?
Hello, McFly, anybody in there?
Well, that guy could stand to lose a little bit of weight.
Ha!
Look who's talking.
Have you looked in the mirror lately?
You're no delicate flower.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I am very trim.
In what universe?
Whoa.
Better say your prayers, boys.
I'm the angel your mama never told you about.
You!
Wheezer, what are you doing?
I ain't doing it, Boof.
What?
Happy!
Happy, you OK?
Yeah, I guess they got some kind of knock out gas.
Justin, I got the oil.
The oil!
Yes!
Oil?
Well, what are we gonna do now?
City council is supposed to sign them papers tomorrow morning.
We just got to stop 'em.
Do you have any ideas, Mel?
Mel?
Well, that's weird.
Oh, goodness, Larry, who are you watching over today?
A couple of American tourists who got
caught by cannibals while on safari.
Seems they were videotaping when they were supposed
to be running for their lives.
Somebody should have a word with that Bob Saget guy.
You are just racking up those frequent flyer
miles, aren't you?
And how.
Listen, I got a message from the big fellow.
He's a little worried about the way you're handling this case.
Leaving those kids on their own?
Yeah.
Mel, he wants to replace you.
Oh, no, not now, not yet.
Mel.
Larry, listen, I love those kids and their dad.
And part of loving them is believing in them.
Now, I believe that they're gonna do the right thing.
Don't you?
Mel, you're taking a big risk here.
I know.
Things don't work out, the boss is going
to put you back on probation.
And you know what that means.
I know.
And you still want to leave them on their own?
Yeah.
Maybe you know what's best.
Good luck.
Where's my money?
In my vault. You can never be too safe with large sums
of money, my dear.
I want my money, Uncle Nellie, fast.
And you shall have it when the deal is closed.
What's eating you today?
Oh, don't tell me, your engagement party
didn't go off too well?
Let's just say things didn't go according to my plan.
I don't know what came over me.
I must have eaten something weird.
For your sake, things better still go on schedule.
Now run along, my dear.
I'd like to relax before the kill.
I like the way you think, Uncle Nelly.
I hate my life.
I know.
[doorbell ringing]
Mayor Ferguson, Mr. Willoughby, welcome.
It's, uh-- just call me Stan.
I will.
Good to see you, Stan.
How's it going?
My team of lawyers.
Go introduce yourself.
$3000 suits.
I've got bunions.
I know.
Say, before the press gets here, I'd
like to have your personal word as well as all
this legal mumbo-jumbo that you'll keep your promise
and leave the park open.
Frankly, sir, I'm shocked that you feel the need to ask,
but you shall have it, Mr. Mayor.
After all, a man is only as good as his word.
And here's a little demonstration of my resolve.
$100,000 for park improvements, just a little visual aid
for the fine people of Elm Grove,
just to show how dedicated I am to keep that park working.
I'm impressed.
Mr. Hampton, everything seems to be as discussed.
My only question is regarding the first paragraph
on page four.
The buyer is not to be held responsible for improvements
on property should they hamper access to said
property's mineral rights?
Just a standard real estate clause my attorneys
threw in, never used, in fact.
It just means that the building schedule could
be delayed if we were to find gold on the property
or oil or something.
Oil in Elm Grove, that's a good one, Mr. Hampton.
You have quite a sense of humor.
Well.
[laughter]
And so in short, I think today is a wonderful day
for the people of Elm Grove.
New jobs, new homes, and perhaps most importantly of all,
saving our park, a place for our children
to safely grow up in the lush bosom of mother nature.
This remarkable compromise was brought
about by myself and by Mr. Hampton
and by our city attorney Stan Witherby.
And now let's have a few words from the very generous Mr.
Hampton.
My good citizens, I solemnly pledge
to commit every single dollar you
see before you to the renovation and preservation
of glorious Elm Grove Park.
Justin, what if we're too late.
I don't know, Jesse, pedal faster.
(SINGING) Happy Jensen is my name.
H-A-P-P-Y.
Mr. Mayor, you're a wonderful speaker.
Did you have any formal training?
Well, I don't like to boast, but we have
a wonderful community theater-- - Oh, I'm sure we do.
--here in Elm Grove.
Stan, do you have those contracts?
Sure, the copies are in my briefcase.
We're doing a production of "Our Town" this weekend.
Is that right?
Yes, it's outdoors in the amphitheater.
HAMPTON: Ooh, very nice.
MAYOR: The students from the elementary school
[inaudible] a lot of the time.
It's great for parents, too.
[inaudible]
HAMPTON: I bet it is.
Mr. Hampton, here are the contracts.
Oh, very timely, Stan.
Here's your contract, Mr. Hampton.
I just need you to sign the last page.
Same for you, mayor.
I sure hope they believe us.
Me too.
Stop right there!
Mr. Hampton isn't gonna build any houses
and he's not gonna save the park either.
This deal is about to be blown, Willoughby,
and your career with it.
You'd better shut that kid of yours up.
Actually, I'm very interested in what he has to say.
Mr. Hampton wants the land because he
thinks he discovered oil on it.
Oil?
Is this true, Stan?
Oil?
Oil?
Oh, Mr. Willoughby, your children have some imagination.
Imagine oil in Elm Grove.
Oh, how precious.
OK, fun is over.
Now, would anyone mind getting back to work?
But it's true.
He's going to rip down the park and fill it with oil wells.
Now, now, now, young lady, I think we've had just about
enough of this foolishness.
No one believes that there's oil in Elm Grove.
We have proof.
Proof?
I don't see any proof, do you?
Hampton, you're gonna get your comeuppance.
If someone doesn't step in here
and remove these hurtful children,
I will be insulted past the point of consolation
and be forced to take my business elsewhere.
So unless someone has some proof--
Here's all the proof you need, Mr. Park killer!
Happy!
Why, you lying old bag of wind.
If there's oil in that park, that belongs to the city.
How dare you!
I will sue for--
It's on you, I'm gonna--
You already signed the contract!
[yelling]
Mr. Big Britches!
[interposing voices]
[whistling]
What do you say we go out and take a look for ourselves?
Go, Justin!
Out of my way, kids!
[suspenseful music]
Now what, Jessica?
If the city finds oil in that park,
they'll put their own oil wells in.
Then we still won't have a park.
What are we gonna do now?
I don't know.
I just wish Mel was here.
[twinkling]
Drat!
All my villainy for nothing!
[sobbing]
This way, Mr. Mayor.
Over here.
[inaudible]
Where are they?
Come on.
Stan, what's happening?
What's going on?
[interposing voices]
Kids, stay away from the mayor.
[inaudible]
Watch my briefcase.
Watch my-- oh, careful, my feet.
This way, Mayor, come on.
Woo!
Welcome to Happy Land now, Mr. Hampton.
Watch your bunions, Mr. Mayor.
Watch your step.
[laughter] Woo!
Woo-hoo!
MAYOR: [groaning]
Woo!
Ow!
Oh, ho-ho!
Oh, my feet!
Come here, you gorgeous oil, you.
Give me that!
Get away from it!
Oh my God, it's oil.
Oh, no, we're too late!
It isn't oil.
That's chocolate syrup.
It is, it's chocolate syrup.
I love chocolate syrup.
I hate chocolate syrup.
It's delicious in milk.
Hello, Mr. Witherby.
Mel?
If I recall correctly, there was a factory here
in Elm Grove that made chocolate bars for the soldiers
during World War II.
They must have buried their surplus right here.
And I guess over time, a lot of those old cans
leaked into the soil.
Look.
Well, oil or no oil, it's all too late now.
Mr. Mayor, you've already signed over documents giving
me sole ownership of this land.
And because you've all cost me so much trouble,
I'm going to pave over this entire place.
I'll make sure that there will never be a park here, never.
Not so fast, Mr. Hampton.
You've never had this property, in the first place.
These papers you signed back at the office,
they're a contract saying that you agree
to give the city of Elm Grove ownership
of this park in perpetuity without ever
making another claim on it.
Perpetuity?
That's right.
It means forever.
I know.
And I'm sure the children of Elm Grove
will be forever grateful.
Oh, God!
Fantastic, Stan.
You saved the park.
Thanks, Fergie, but I couldn't do it all alone.
I had a lot of help.
Thanks, dad.
Didn't I tell you that I wouldn't let anything
bad happen to the park, huh?
Give me a hug, you guys.
Come here.
That's special.
Mel?
Come on, let's go home.
Last one's a monkey's uncle.
LARRY: Nice work, slugger.
A certain mother wants you to know she
thanks you with all her heart.
Tell her the pleasure was all mine.
Stan, I can't thank you enough for helping
me find a new location for my Toys for Kids program.
I couldn't have done it without you.
I don't have the money right now to pay you.
Oh, please, Amanda, forget about it.
It's my pleasure.
Thanks, Stan.
Uh, what you did was really sweet.
If there's anything I can do for you--
Well, there is something, maybe.
Yes?
Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?
I would love to.
That's great.
Let me walk you up to the door.
Thanks, hon.
[twinkling]
DIRECTOR: And action.
What am I gonna do with you guys?
I'm sorry, wrong line.
[laughter]
Not so fast, Mr. Hampton.
You've never had this property in the first place.
Those paper-- I'm sorry, these papers you signed, OK.
I just wish he can really--
DIRECTOR: That's OK.
Let's do that one line.
Needs butter.
I just wish--
I just--
DIRECTOR: It's OK.
[inaudible]
I'm not getting this.
DIRECTOR: It's all right.
Take out the paper, please, the whole thing.
[laughing]
Actually, I'm very interested in what he has to say.
Where are we starting?
Yeah, my god.
DIRECTOR: Just get it away from your hair.
[inaudible]
Wait, let me just do it one more time.
Wow.
Well, that just ain't normal.
That's not normal.
It's Abby Normal.
DIRECTOR: And action.
[inaudible]
And here they are, the best little kids in the world.
You're looking at the very answer to our city's, uh--
You're looking-- I'll say it is.
He gave that park to the city in a moment of--
in a moment-- he gave that--
in 1897.
Caretaker's leaving.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
Come on, he's leaving.
Here, come on.
Start the thing with the thing and then we'll go.
Because he will drive, and then after him
we'll follow or something like that.
I don't really know where we're going.
Caretaker's leaving.
Let's get out of here.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Go, go.
Go.
Go.
Go.
Go! Go!
Hurry!
Hurry!
I'm going.
Listen, you know the routine.
Get this thing taken quickly--
A couple of American tourists who got caught by can--
With money from--
from our-- our poor, old, sick grandmom--
father, yeah.
You got it all wrong, lady.
This dork, he tried to steal our caramel corn.
Guacamole, don't mind if I do.
Well, to tell you the truth, Stan, I was kind of telling--
We are a non-profit organization
that makes free toys to kids.
All right, well, let's try another question.
What is the ingredient used?
What?
Maybe we should get some close ups now.
That's rotelli, isn't it?
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
What are you talking about?
You're mistaken.
I'm not--
OK, you're--
It's rotelli!
What' are you talking--
Get him off me!
[groaning]
Get--
[music playing]