North Dallas Forty (1979) - full transcript

(ON RADIO)
And good morning, Dallas.
Ron Chapman on KVIL.

We've got a gorgeous morning
working outside.

Temperatures at 8:00
in the morning

standing already
at 68 degrees outside.

We expect them
to go up to, oh,

75 degrees sometime
this afternoon...

(SHATTERS)

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)



Oh!

(GRUNTS)

(EXHALES)

(EXHALES)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(SCREAMING)

Get his ass
out of there, Jo Bob!
(LAUGHS)

I ain't touching
no faggot!

Faggot!
(ALL LAUGH)

Give me five!

Get out of there
before you drown,
asshole.

Get out of there.
Let's go hunting.

I ain't going hunting.

What? Come on!



Let's kill something!
Get up.

Come on.
No! Get out of here!

Oh, come on,
you goddamn...

We just want to kill
a little something. Come on.

Yee-haw!
(GUNSHOTS)

Ha! Damn!

See that old cow
out there?

Want to see her run?

Oh, Christ,
they're shooting at cows.

Hell, they're too drunk
to hit anything.
Don't worry about it.

Oh, man,
they're just crazy.

(GUNSHOTS)

Oh, my God.

(SIGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Do you know something?
Hmm?

JO BOB:
O.W., did you see that?

I can't figure out
how I dropped
that turn-in.

It happens.

No, man, not to me
it doesn't, you know?

Jesus Christ,
you caught the game.

Let it pass, pal.

Relax. Enjoy yourself.
It's a pretty day.

Man, I had that ball
right in my hands.

I just couldn't hang on
to the damn thing.
(SIGHS)

John Henry, the man
is just like you.

He's never satisfied.

(GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)
(JO BOB AND O.W. LAUGH)

Hey, I'm going to dump
these suckers up here.

(TIRES SCREECH)

Gee whiz, son!

God dang, the marines
have landed!

(SHOUTS)

(BUGLE BLARES)

Come on out!
Surrender, you suckers!

Ha!

Come on, O.W.,
go and fake them
fuckers up.

Elliott, where's
your gun, man?

Freud says that guns
are an extension
of your dingie, Jo Bob.

That son of a bitch.

(LAUGHS)

He's a regular wise-ass,
you know that?

Hold up, O.W.

B.A. wants me
in his office tomorrow.

Oh, yeah?

Must mean I'm going
to start, huh?

I doubt that, poot.

What the hell do you mean?
I made some great catches.

They can't keep me
on the bench forever.

Son, you ain't never
going to get off
that bench

till you stop
fighting them suckers.

You got to learn
how to fool them, man.

Give them
what they want.

I know. I've been fooling
them bastards for years now.

For Christ's sake, man.
If you start pretending
to be somebody else,

that's what you're
going to end up,
being somebody else.

God damn it, if I didn't
like you, boy,

if you didn't have
such great pair of hands,

I'd keep my mouth shut
and watch you go
right down the tubes.

I'm going to
tell you something
for your own good.

You had better learn
how to play the game.

And I don't just mean
the game of football.

Hell, we're
all whores, anyway.

We might as well
be the best.

There's one!
God, watch...

(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Damn you, Jo Bob!
You crazy son of a bitch!

Jesus Christ!

Why? We damn near
got the bird.
Didn't you see it?

I think we did get him.
Jesus Christ!

(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

ALL: (CHANTING)
Go! Go! Go! Go!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

All right, let me have
that TV right here.

There it is! (LAUGHS)

Thirteen. Look for thirteen.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Yep, I'd rather face
Pittsburgh's defensive line

than one of
Peter's parties.

(LAUGHS)

Somebody's got to
do it, though. Right?

Hey, man, it's all yours.
Go for it.
Right.

Hey, big guy.
How you doing?
Good to see you.

How's it going?
Good game, baby.

Tony, good game,
my man.

Howdy, howdy.

Hey, Seth,
great game, boy.

Hey, mama.

JO BOB: All right, sweetie,

come on, now give
Jo Bob a nice kiss.
Come on.

Hey, it's nice
to be back, man.

JO BOB: All right,
come on, come on!

Ah, goddamn!

Hey, Maxwell!
Hey, Seth!

MAN: Hey, Phil.

Hey, Peter,
where's that dolly
you promised me?

Ooh, he's ripped
tonight, ain't he?

Hey, Jo Bob,
what are you
going to do against

Alcie Weeks
in Chicago?

You know what I mean?
(LAUGHS) Crazy guy!

Know what I mean?
Crazy guy.

Come here, come here.
Oh.

Hey, Jo Bob,
I got a great dolly
for you.

She's last year's
Miss Farm Implements.

Come on this way.

You should talk to her
for five minutes.

She's from SMU,
and she's almost a virgin.

Hey, doll, come on here.

Now, help him
to relax, honey.

He needs, uh,
understanding. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah.

Show 'em
your finesse, Jo Bob!
(LAUGHS)

Hey, Billie Joe!

(LAUGHS)

I've never seen
titties like yours.

I swear to God,
I never have.

They're... They're beautiful.
They're...

Hey, Jo Bob,
how you doing?

How you doing, Elliott?

Can I show your titties
to my buddy O. W.?

Can I? Would you?
All right?

O. W.! O. W.!
Come over here!

(LAUGHS) Whoo!

Ooh, John Henry,
don't get so excited.

We got all night.
Who's John Henry?

(LAUGHS)

He's an old friend
of mine.
Ooh.

Hey, did you girls ever try
a quarterback sandwich?

Sounds good to me.

Hey, Seth,
I need to talk to you

about that condo deal
down at Padre Island.

Not now.
Not now, baby.

Hey, did you ever drink
a pink poontang?

WOMAN: No.
SETH: (LAUGHS)
It'll get you high.

Hey, Phil. Phil.

Great catch, boy.
Great catch.

Listen, I got some
ostrich boots

and some lizard,
and I'm going to
get them for you

soon as I change my shirt.

Say, Alan,
be with you in a minute.

Got to go
change my shirt!
(LAUGHS)

Hey, Phil. Oh, man,
we were just leaving.

Hey, Eric.
Hi, Susie.
Hi.

Susie wants to get home

and put little Audrey
to bed, you know,
all that.

Yeah, and it's
almost time
for the Osmonds.

So, um...

Why don't you come over
Wednesday night
for dinner?

Yeah. Look, guy,
why don't you
come on over?

Fitch and his wife
are coming.

Afterward, Susie's going
to read some scripture,
you know.

Uh...

Oh, man, maybe we'll all
take turns or something.

Hmm.
All right,
I'll try hard. Okay?

Yeah.
Okay.

All right.
See what you can do.

All right, Sue.
Come on.
We got plenty.

Bye. See you later.
Bye.

All right? All right?
All right.

Hey, how you doing?
Hey, Billy.

See you later.

Being a little hard
on yourself,
aren't you, Andy.

Yeah, I know.
Yeah.

See that stewardess
over there?
Which one?

Oh, that one,
over there.

Goddamn, does she
get off on football?

Man, you know,

Allie got some tits
from her the other night

just by showing her
that little bruise
on his calf!

The way I figure it,

if she's going to
give up some tits

just by showing her
a bruise, you know,

I mean, once she sees
this blood here,

you know,
she might give up
the whole thing.

You know what I mean?
Uh-huh.

Hey, Phil,
I'd love to sit here

and talk to you,
but I can't.

I got to test out
Balford's theory of erotica.

Check you later, baby.

He's real intelligent,
ain't he?

Oh, poor baby.
You like that?

Oh. (KISSES)

Come on, Andy,
I'm with her.

Andy, I'm with her,
I said!
(GLASS SHATTERS)

(ALL CLAMORING)

MAN: Why don't you
just get in there

and just go ahead
and kiss him?

It's nice to see
there's a little romance
left in the world.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

It's an old story,
boy meets boy.

Well, I love
happy endings.

Oh, really? Well, good.

Now we can sit back
and wait for the real
obscenities.

You mean it gets worse?
(CHUCKLES)

It definitely
gets different.

See, alcohol and fear
makes for a good
combination.

Fear?
Mmm-hmm.

What are they afraid of?

Falling on their
asses in Chicago.

Who are you,
and what are you
doing here?

Charlotte Calder,
and I'm asking myself
the same question.

Well, I'm Phil Elliott,
and I'm supposed
to be here

to take you away
from all this.

Oh, yeah. See,
I'm a very funny guy.

In fact, The newspapers
call me "The team funnyman."

Well, obviously,
you can't believe

everything you read.

I'm sorry.

I'm not very good
at this small talk stuff.

In fact, I learned
all my social graces
from football coaches,

so, uh, why don't you
just give me
another try, huh?

Okay, team funnyman.

You've got fantastic eyes.

Hilarious.

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

Hey, man, quit pushing
on me, man.

Put me down!

Why can't somebody
stop him?

What, are you crazy?

Look at him.

No! Please. No! (SCREAMS)
MAN: Put her down.

Come on, man.
Come on.

MAN: Come on, man.
WOMAN: Put me down.

Jo Bob's here
to remind everybody

that the meanest
and the biggest

get to make all the rules.

Well, I don't agree
with that.

Agreement doesn't
enter into it.

(WOMAN SOBS)

(SCREAMS)

Well, how can you
tolerate that?

I make allowances,
then I get ready,
and I run like hell.

That's what I like.
A man of courage.

Miss? My name's Jo Bob.

I just want to tell you...

CHARLOTTE:
Will you please let me pass?
JO BOB: I love your hair

and I love your nose.
Lady...
Let me go!

And I love your legs.
Put me down.

You know I love your legs.

They got your feet
on one end...
Will you please put me down?

...and your pussy
on the other,
and I want to fuck you.

I'd really do this.
You put me down!

CHARLOTTE:
Will you let me go?
Lady, come on now.

You be nice, all right.
I'm going to be
nice to you.

Oh, no.
JO BOB: I promise you,
I'm going to be nice

to you, understand?
Come on.
CHARLOTTE: Let me go!

JO BOB: I'm not going
to let anybody take you
away from me ever.

Will you please?
What are you
so fussy about, lady?

Jo Bob. (GROANS)

Piss off, Elliott.

Hey, come on back.
(GASPS)

Hey, Seth! Seth!

Find something
for Jo Bob to do
with his hands, huh.

Hey, Jo Bob. Jo Bob.

I told you
to piss off, Elliott.

Jo Bob, let her go.

(WOMEN GIGGLING)
Shit!

(SCREAMS) Oh!
(THUDS)

Bob, God damn it.

Who the fuck are you
giving orders to?
(CHOKES)

Jo Bob.
Hey, Jo Bob, cool it!

I'm going to kill you.

Hey, man, he's just trying
to keep that little dolly
from raping you.

Come on, baby.
Jo Bob.

Hey, hey, it's me. Seth!
Come on, man. Relax.

It's a party.
Come on, Jo Bob.

Calm down, baby.

JO BOB:
Damn! Why is he always
making fun of me, Seth?

CROWD: (CHANTING)
Go! Go! Go! Go!

(CROWD CHEERING)
(SCREAMS)

WOMAN: Hey, I know you.
You had your chance.

What the hell are you
trying to prove, man,

taking on Jo Bob
over some chick?

Oh, for Christ's sake,
Seth, shit.

Seemed like a good idea
at the time, that's all.

A good idea?

I need Jo Bob, son.

(CLEARS THROAT)
I want him up.

I want him feeling
like he can climb

the Empire State
Building if he has to.

(SIGHS)

Look, you may keep me
on the sports page, man,

but he keeps me
off the obituaries.

Where the hell would I be

with Jo Bob's
confidence destroyed?

(SIGHS)

God damn it, son,
what did she expect?

These girls know
what happens
at these parties.

That's why they come here.

She didn't seem
like that to me.

(SIGHS)

SETH:
Well, look, just lay off
Jo Bob, all right?

I want you both
at your best Monday night.

Oh, for Christ's sake,
I didn't hurt Jo Bob.

Damn it, just quit
aggravating him.

Let him have
what he wants.

What he wants?

What about what I want?

He's a baby,
for Christ's sake.

Don't put yourself
on his level.

Rise above it.

Come on, man,
let's go get in the pile.

Ah...

It's the same
old pile, Seth.

Well, shit, I'm going
to go get knee-deep
in it, son.

Go ahead, partner.

See you tomorrow.
Yep.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Hi.
Hello.

I'm glad to see that
you're still alive.

Thanks for letting me
run like hell.
Uh-huh.

It's too bad I don't take
my own advice.
Yeah.

Can I come in?

Yeah.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Can I get you a drink?

Yeah, you got
any whiskey?

I only have milk.

Yeah, I love milk.
Good.

(SIGHS)

Nice place you got here.
CHARLOTTE: Oh, thanks.

Are you married?

Was.
Mmm.

Yeah, so was I.

Do you work?

No.

What's this, alimony?

No.

Oh.

You talk a lot, don't you?

No.

Hmm.

(EXHALES)

You look terrible.

(SCOFFS)

Thanks. That really
builds up my confidence.

Why did you go to
that party, anyhow?

I don't know.
I thought it would be fun.

Obviously
I made a mistake.

Hmm.

I'm tired.
I'm really tired.

I'm sorry.
I was lonely.

I just needed
someone to talk to.

Well, you can't sleep here.

Oh, thanks for
letting me sleep here.

(STUTTERS)
I said you can't
sleep here.

Hello?

Oh, shit.

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

(SNORING)

(SNORING)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Hi, Peggy.
Hi, Phil.

Yeah, I've got
a meeting with B.A.

Yeah, just a minute.
All right.

PEGGY: Phil Elliott's here.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

You know, Phil,
there's not one damn
corporation I own

that means as much
to me right here

as my football team.

Come on.

That was a hell
of a catch on Sunday.

That's just, uh, luck.

You know, Phil,

there's one thing
I learned early on in life.

The most important thing
a man can have.

Um, what's that? Money?

Luck.

Luck tells me something
about a man.

You know, if my people
are lucky, they tap
into a big field.

If they're not,
they can have every
geology degree in the world

and drill one dry duster
right after another.

Take me.

I'm the luckiest man
in the world.

Sure as hell
ain't brains, is it?

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

You know, Phil,
there's always a place
in our little family

for the right kind of man.

Mmm-hmm.

Now, Phil...

People who confuse
brains and luck

can get in a whole
lot of trouble.

Seeing through the game
is not the same
as winning the game.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Now to me, see,
it's gotten to a point

where Phil's
almost predictable.

I can know what
he's going to do...

(DOOR OPENS)

Hey, Phil,
how are you doing?
Hey, Emmett.

Uh, B.A.,
I'm sorry I'm late.

Uh, listen,
I was just thinking.

Why don't you
all just stay here
in my office and use it?

I got to see Connie
anyway for a minute, okay?
Okay. Yeah.

Thank you very much,
Emmett. Well, see you.

See you later, Phil.

Mmm-hmm.

Sit down.
Sit down.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Now, that's it,
that's it, Phil.

That's what it all boils down
to is your attitude.

And another thing,
I know that you don't like
sitting on the bench.

But you're a team member.
You have to adjust to that.

Actually, I have
known players

that got used to
sitting on the bench,
if that's possible.

It's not.

You're too proud?

I want you to listen
to something.

The Apostle Paul,

in one of his letters
to the Corinthians

said, "When I was a child,
I thought as a child.
I spake as a child.

"I understood
as a child,

"but when I came
to be a man,

"I put away
childish things."

Hmm.

And there's a theme
that runs through
all this data, Phil.

It's immaturity,
your immaturity.

You lack seriousness.

Well, I scored five TDs
coming off the bench.

That's pretty serious.

You scored five TDs?

Don't you know that
we worked for those?

We plan for them.
We let you score
those touchdowns.

B.A., I've always
given you 100%.

100%!

You're talking about
individual effort.

Yes, you do give that.
I don't deny it.

But that's not what
I'm talking about.

I'm talking about a team.

I'm talking about
a winning team.

A winning team is 45
finely meshed gears

working together
in perfect synchronization.

If one of those gears
flies off on its own,
I pull it.

And if that's
not straight enough,

I'll say it
in a different way.

If you want to play football
for me, Mr. Elliott,

you have to change,
starting right now.

(EXHALES)

B.A., I'm sorry
if my immaturity
has offended you,

and I'll honestly
try to change.

(SIGHS) But I've been
a starter for six years,

and it's hard to sit
on the bench, but...

I'll wait my chance.

And when you do start me,

I'll make you glad you did.

I appreciate that, Phil.

Then we'll see.

Hey, Phil,
how are you doing?

Hey, you know
Joanne Rodney,
don't you? Phil Elliott.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.
Wait a minute.
What?

Ruth, you got
that contract?
RUTH: Oh, yes, sir.

I want you to see this.
This is something

I'd like you to be
interested in.

A little contract here
for our number one
draft choice,

wide receiver
out of Lubbock.

Lubbock. Yeah.
A real good one here.

So, I, uh...

Gosh, I guess next year
this means you'll be...

Do you speak
Canadian at all?

(SNICKERS)

Emmett, you've been
running these guys
at me for years.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Come on.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, God damn it, Joanne.

Oh, wait... Ow!
God, that's my
sore shoulder. Jesus.

Which one?
That one.

The one you always hurt.

(MOANS)

Oh, Jesus, my knee.

(GRUNTS)

Your left knee?

No. What do you mean,
my left knee?

You wouldn't know...
You know...

Ah! Phil.
(CHUCKLES)

What do you mean, "Phil"?

Come on now.
Ow, ow!

Come on.
Ow...

Oh, God.

You always hurt me, Jo.

(MOANS)

(SIGHS) Oh...

(MOANS)

(EXHALES)

B.A. wants me to adjust
to sitting on the bench.

Hell, I'll die on the bench.

What's the sense
of the team winning
if I don't survive, huh?

You'll survive.
(CHUCKLES)

Really?

You know what I'd do?

I'd pull for the other team
so we'll get behind

and B.A. will have
to put me in.

That's weird.

Why don't you just quit?

(SIGHS)

Well, what would I do
that wouldn't be
the same or worse?

Besides, it's the only thing
I know how to do good.

It's the best hands
in the league, you know?

Phil, do you love me?

(EXHALES)

Sort of.

What kind of
an answer is that?

(SIGHS) Well...

It's the only kind
of answer I know
how to give

when somebody I really like
needs to know the truth.

Hey, how long
you been awake?

Couldn't sleep.

You know,
you don't look
too good.

Maybe you ought to take
some vitamins.

I don't need
a healthy body.
(CHUCKLES)

I can do it all
in my mind.

Yeah?
Mmm-hmm.

I've been ignoring
the fact that
I'm falling apart.

Say, Joanne...
Mmm-hmm.

Where's the pictures
of yourself you cut out?

Hmm?

Well, that girl
just doesn't exist
anymore, Phil.

Oh, so Joanne Rodney
doesn't exist anymore.

Well, in that case,
it kind of looks like you.

Uh, what do you want
for breakfast?

Well, I'm going to have
whatever you're having.

Well, I'm having
chocolate pudding.

Uh, wait a minute,
Joanne.

Uh, wait a minute.

Listen, how about some
bacon and eggs?

Don't have any bacon.
How about some eggs?

Nope.

Toast?
Ah! No butter.

No butter.
Dry toast or
chocolate pudding.

Well, I'm going to have
chocolate pudding, then.

Mmm, I only have one.

But I'll share it
with you.

Oh, really?
Well, it's a great
meal, then.

JOANNE: Let's go.
All right.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Come on, feed me.

Well, I'm going to do it.

Good, give me some more.

No, seriously.
I'm really going
to do it.

Do what?

Marry Emmett Hunter.

Come on, Joanne.

What do you want
to marry Emmett for?
He's nothing.

He's just going to
screw up your life.

When I told him I wanted
to keep the apartment,
he said I could.

You'll come by
and see me,
won't you?

If I can.

Oh, get real.

(GRUNTS)

Mmm...
Hey, cheer up.

Everybody gets married
now and then.

Yeah, but I thought
you'd draw the line
at joining the family.

Yeah, me too.

Mmm-hmm.

But look at it like this...

With me in
the Hunter family,

you won't have to learn
to speak Canadian.

Phew!

(WHIRRING)

We boring you, Douglas?

You fall asleep again,
it's $100 fine.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

Okay, third and eight.

ALL:
All right! All right!

(CHEERING)

The things I do for love.

No. No, shit.
You should never
have thrown to Elliott

with that kind
of coverage.

Look at Delma,
look at him there.

He's wide open.

I don't like
this buddy-buddy stuff

interfering with
my judgment.

Shit, you can't win
for losing around here.

(ALL LAUGH)

Run it back,
run it back.

(ALL LAUGH)

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

(ALL LAUGH)

MAN: That's it, Stallings.
Real good.

Stallings, what were you
thinking of here?

I'm... I'm not sure, sir.

You're not sure.

No, sir.

The entire game riding
on this one series of downs,

and we have a player
who's not sure.

There's no room
in this business
for uncertainty.

No room.

Oh, shit, here it comes.

Here's where you
screwed up.

I didn't screw up.
You changed the play.

You changed the play.
I didn't change the play.

You brought it in there.
I did not.

Well, just cover for me.

I'd like all of you
to watch this
next play carefully.

Especially you.

B.A.: Especially you,
Elliott.

MAN 1: Oh, man.
Oh, here it is.

Great catch.
Great catch.

MAN 2: Yeah! All right!
(CHEERING)

Whoo! All right!

(ALL CHEERING)

Now, Elliott,

how would you
describe this play?

(SIGHS)

Well...

I'd say we scored
a touchdown.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, you think it's funny?

Well, I fail to see
any humor at all.

Maxwell changed the play
that I sent in,

Elliott broke his pattern,

and the catch
was a fluke.

There's no room for flukes
in winning game plans.

Why do you think
that we go over
and over

the printouts
of a game plan?

Because deviating
from that plan

can cost us a championship.

Now, if there's
some of you

not interested
in being champions,

why, then, you laugh.

Relax. Have a good time.

But you'll do it
on somebody else's
football team,

not mine.

The key to being
a professional

is consistency,

and the computer
measures that quality.

No one of you
is as good
as that computer.

I hope I'm understood.

Now, everybody
on the bus in 10 minutes.

Ah, except you, Stallings.

I'd like a word with you
in private, please.

MAN: All right, come on,
let's move.

Get your gear together.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Hey, let me have
those shoes.

That's cold, man.
Hey, baby.

Do you believe
they cut Stallings?

Who's Stallings?

Runners run past 49 right.

Sounds real boring.

Look at it.
All right, I'm looking.

Got it?
Got it. Yeah, man.

On two. Ready?
Break! Move.

MAN: 4-3, number two zone.
Ready?
ALL: Break!

Strong left!
ALL: Left!

Right back
swing guy.
I got it. I got it.

Set... Hike!

SETH: Come on, you...

MAN: Pass! Coming in!
Coming in!

Coming in!

(CHEERING)

Whoo!

Douglas, the reason
we drafted you

was because they said
you were fast and smart.

At this point,
I'd be delighted

if you'd be at least
one of those things!

Yes, sir.

Carney, get in here
for Douglas.

Huddle up, huddle up.
Let's go.

Back in the huddle!

Hey, Douglas,

isn't this the kind of day

you'd rather be
by a fire with
a good book?

Fuck you, faggot.

Promises, promises.

(MEN YELLING)

PLAYER: Pass! Stop.

All right.

(PLAYERS CHEERING)

How's an old fart like me
supposed to keep up

with a dedicated
young Christian stud
like Hartman?

It's discouraging.

Well, it's like you
told me, Seth...

You got to cheat.

I wrote the book on that.
I believe that.

Elliott!
Get your ass in here!

Coming, boss.

Red, right, 74.

You're going to get
yourself a fine, Jo Bob.

It's worth it.

You got it?
Yes, sir.

On three. Ready?
ALL: Break!

Round left, round left.

Check!

MAN: Check.
Cover 2, cover 2.

2-49! 2-49!

Check! 2-76!

2-76!

Hut! Hut!

Hut!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Ow!
Whoo!

Oh, God damn it!
God damn it!
You all right?

Ah!
MAN: Here, hold it.

PHILLIP: Oh, God damn it!

Pull them out.
Jesus Christ.

Don't move,
don't move.

Pull it!

(GROANS)

You all right?

Which one?
Christ,
which do you think?

Elliott!

That's what comes
from not concentrating.

Yes, sir.

Amazed at how these
young fellows

can take the punishment
of their profession.

Hello, Monsignor.

Oh, hello, Phil.

You're a very brave
young man.

That's real devotion.

You remind me of
the magnificent
missionaries of history.

Never thought
of that, Monsignor.

Come on, Elliott,
stop dogging it!

That's fine.

All right, I want
you to run this here
Chicago pass pattern.

Red-right-74.

Look at it.

All right, here we go.
Here we go. On two, on two.

Ready? Break!

Come on, snap it up!

Elliott, get in there!

Left!

Set!

Red-left, red-left.
Hold it!

Carney, get in there!

B.A.: No!

Put Douglas in, please.

Carney, get the hell
out of there!

Let's go. Here we go.
Come on.

Set!

Set!

2-75!

2-75!

Check!

2-72!

Hartman, Hartman, let's just
get the ball snapped!

You're giving me
a fucking headache!

MAN 1: Rookies.
MAN 2: Down.

All right, let's go.

A bunch
of high schools.

Set!

Hut! Hut!

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

Are you all right, man?

Hey, Phil,
you all right?

(SNIFFS)

You okay?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Help me up.

There's your hat, man.

Nice catch.
Yeah.

Now, that's
concentration, Elliott.

Feels pretty swollen.

Let's work that knee.

God damn it, Eddie,
it's not the knee.

Hey, it's my shoulder.
I hit my shoulder when
I hit the gym floor.

It feels like
it's full of gravel.

Well, it's always
felt like it was
full of gravel.

Now, come on.
Give me a B-12 shot.
That's what I want.

Always messing
with my knee.

How you doing, baby?

All right, Del.
You going to get a shot?

Oh. No shots
for me, turkey.

I can't stand needles.

Hey, you got to master
the technology of this game.

Phil, how do you do that?
Take all those pills
and shots, man.

Does terrible things
to your body. God!

If you last long enough,
you'll realize the only
way to survive

is the pills and the shots.

Not me, turkey.

I got respect
for my body.

You'll get past that.

You're crazy, too.

Eddie,
I'd appreciate it

if you could finish up
here with butterfingers

and give me my B-12 shot
'cause I got an important
business meeting.

You might like to know,
Elliott,

that I found myself
two old boys from
Oklahoma

who wanna invest in my
restaurant business.

Oklahoma?
That's right.

That figures.

You see, once the first
one starts making money,

then you sell franchises.

And that's where
the big money is.

Oh, yeah. What are you gonna
call the restaurants?

Jo Bob's Fine Foods.
Do you like it?

Jo bob's...
That's right.

Jo Bob's Fine Foods.
Right!

Eat here,
or I'll kill you.

(LAUGHS)

You son of a bitch.

Hey! Come on! Hold it!

Jo bob, we're not
gonna have trouble
in here, I mean it.

(ALL SHOUTING)

Get over to your meeting!

Jo Bob, you go on
to your meeting now!

You goddamn bird turd!

Jo Bob, you get out
of here, or I'll
report you to B.A.

You would?

You bet your ass.
You're chicken shit.

Get out of my face,
Monroe.

It always did
take two of you

to hold one of me.

Excuse me.

Too damn much B-12.

(DOOR CREAKS)

(WIND BLOWING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Back off, asshole.
I ain't moving!

Back off!
I ain't moving!

(MAN RUNS INTO DISTANCE)

(SNORING)

(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Jesus God almighty!

Damn! Shit!

God!

It's the tooth fairy.

Fuck you, tooth fairy.

Holy shit, I hope
I don't look as bad
as you look, man.

(GRUNTS)

You make me look
like Cinderella, asshole.

If I had a dog like you,

I'd shave his butt and
make him walk backwards.

Hey, old doc Elliott's
gonna take care of us.

It's time to break into
the old medicine cabinet,
Seth, boy.

How's your elbow?
God damn it, Elliott.

You know, Eddie's gonna
get your ass for this.

Hell, he didn't even
do nothing to you.

Hell, I ain't the one
that's doing it.

Yeah, but you're gonna
take some. That makes
you an accomplice.

They turn me in,
they gotta turn you in,
and they won't do that.

That's 'cause I'm a star.
(GRUNTS)

A genuine
sports personality

and legendary folk hero.

Folk hero,
have some dexedrine.

Don't mind if I do.
A little compazine.

All right.
Would you like codeine?

Does a shark
shit in the sea?

Come on, give me
some of this.

One for me.

Whoops. Breakfast
of champions there.

Ah...

Nectar of the gods.
Yes.

(SIGHS)

You know something?

You're the only guy
I know that's got
an uglier body than mine.

That's bullshit.

John Henry, why do we
abuse ourselves this way?

Hey, Seth...

Have you... Have you
ever loved anybody?

You know, loved somebody.

Aw, last night.

All-time showstopper, son.

I don't want
to hear this.

All-time showstopper.

I don't want to hear it.

You know Jerry Drake?
Drake?

Big tex automotive supply?
Oh, I know that
asshole, yeah.

Well, it was his YMCA team

that me and Hartman
had to talk to last night.

I gave them my usual
bullshit, you know,

football, character
development, all that crap.

Hartman comes up
with this story

about Jesus being captain
of a football team.

(LAUGHS)

And the apostles each played
different positions, right?

Whoo!

And Judas was the coach.
Nope, Judas was the one

that sold the playbook
to the devil's team.

Oh, my God.

Now, wait till you
hear this part.

Afterwards, Drake invites
me and Hartman up to
his house for a drink.

Now, I got the wheels,

so Hartman's stuck
with me, right?

Anyway,
here's the point.

It turns out
Drake wants to watch

while me and Hartman
do nasty things

to his bouncy-bottomed
little wife.

Aw, Maxwell. Really.

Hey, I know, I know.
It's not your
type of thing.

But I happen to be
more of a philosopher.

I like to mingle
with the little people.

What about Hartman?

Well, you know Hartman.
Goody-two-shoes
just fidgeting around

like a one-legged cat
trying to bury shit
on a frozen pond,

until old Seth fixes
him a couple of
pink poontang specials.

You know, that crazy
tourist drink that
I fix for stewardesses?

Two shots out of that,

and Hartman is shot
to shit, freaked out.

I mean, I never saw a guy
having so much fun

and crying
at the same time.

I don't believe a word it,
but I'm getting horny.

Aha. Now wait till
you get to this part.

Drake now takes out a bunch
of them fake dicks...

Ah, Max, that's gross!

It's not gross.

Shit, gross is when you go
and kiss your grandpa
good night,

and he sticks his
tongue down your throat.
That's gross.

Anyway, he's got one, man,
that is about 8 inches long,
and it's pink,

and it's got little
crinkleties in it,

and it's got a grinder
that you turn like this,

and it goes in and out...

Oh, I don't wanna hear any
of this. I don't wanna hear
no more of this.

Wait, man. I'm just
getting to the weird part.

The weird part?
The weird part?

Yeah, it gets weird.

Okay, who did it?
He did it.

Is that right, Seth?
Did what?

The medicine cabinet!

If B.A. finds out about it,
it's gonna be
somebody's ass.

Your water's too hot.
Hey, Eddie, calm down.

The poor man here
was desperate.

Think of it as an emergency.

Yeah, and I suppose
you just stood there
and watched.

No, he held me down,
massaged my throat,

and made me swallow 'em.

Listen, this shit
has got to stop.

And leave my goddamn
beer alone!

And, Elliott,
don't you piss in there!

Ah.

Bastard.

(PANTING)

(GRUNTING)

Did I call my wife
last night?

I don't
think so, son.

Oh...

What do I tell her?
Hey, Art,
tell her that you escaped,

and you don't have
to pay the ransom.

I can't tell her that.

(LAUGHS)

Look, son,
listen up to me, man.

Dream up the wildest
thing you can think of,
and lay it on her.

I guarantee she'll go
for it, coming from you.

Yeah?
I'm right.

Why do I smell
like strawberries?

What'd you do
last night, poot?

(GROANS)

Come on,
what'd you do?

Well, I'll tell you.

I had a date
with Charlotte.

Oh, shit, man.

I hope you're not
getting hooked on
that chick.

Breaks your
concentration.

Well, I'll tell you
something, old buddy.

The only thing
I haven't broken
is my concentration.

Why do we do it,
partner?

Well, the only way
to find that out, man,

is to quit.

You're not thinking
about quitting.

I'm thinking I'm tired
of beating myself up.

Don't worry.

You'll get tired
of thinking.

Coca-Cola, poot.

Hey, Seth, Seth.
Throw me an RC, Seth.

Ooh!

Seth...

She believed me.
Well, of course
she believed you, Art.

Who wouldn't believe
you, partner?

Yeah, but I'm...
You did the right
thing, son.

Lying can be really good
for a relationship.

Hey, Art.

Welcome to
the big leagues.

(ALL LAUGH)

(GROANS)

You know, I'm beginning
to like the pain.

Huh?

Remember when
I busted my elbow?

Oh, yeah.

I knew it was
dislocated the second
it happened, man.

But when I was laying there,
yelling, flopping
all over the field

in front of all
those people,

you know
what I felt?

Oh.

Satisfaction.

Yeah. I mean,

it made me feel like
I was doing something
important, you know?

Yeah.

When the pain
got the worst,

that's when I felt
the most...

Secure.
Yeah.

I hear you, I hear you.

The answer is no.

No, what?

I ain't never
loved nobody.

(PHIL GRUNTING)

Oh!

(GROANS)

Oh, God.

(CROWD ROARS)

Good morning.

Good morning.

Did you sleep well?

(SIGHS)

Yeah, I slept great.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

Settle down
and listen up.

I want some asses
kicked this week.

Douglas, that's $100
fine for being late.

I want you guys to study
the Chicago team tendencies.

If you ain't ready
by Monday night,

they're gonna
run down your throats
and out your assholes.

ALL: Ooh!

Oh, yeah, and there'll be
a written test on Friday

on these tendencies.

(ALL GROANING)

Coach.

Those of you
whose names appeared
on the bulletin board

are invited to Mr. Hunter's
home tomorrow

to help Conrad, Jr.
celebrate his birthday.

Be there at 12:00 sharp,

appropriately dressed.

Now, before we break
into our separate groups,

there are a few general
comments which I am
obliged to make, gentlemen.

We won a game Sunday

against an opponent
measurably and on paper
inferior to ours.

In doing so,

we managed to play
far below our potential.

Our punting team gave
them 4.5 yards per kick,

more than our
reasonable goal,

and 9.9 yards more
than outstanding.

That's not the kind
of football

that conference
champions play.

Offense, four turnovers.

Five scoring
opportunities blown.

Third down conversions,
we failed six times more
than our seasonal average.

Pass completions were 49%.

That's 6.3% less
than reasonable,

and it's 19% less
than our outstanding.

That is a negative
19% against Seattle!

Now, clearly,
it's time for us

to take a long,
hard look at ourselves,

and in this connection,
Coach Johnson has
prepared some material

which I trust will be
beneficial to you.

Johnson.

Thank you, Coach.

Now, listen, you guys,

if we can take an extra
moment here, I'd like to
read something that

B.A. thinks
is pretty important.

Now, when I was playing
college ball at Maryland,

I found this
taped to a locker.

I think you'll understand
what it means.

It means he's out
of his fucking mind.

(ALL LAUGHING)

It means that the difference
between good and great

is that much.

It's the same size
as his pecker.
(SNICKERING)

COACH JOHNSON: It comes
from right up here.

(COUGHS)

Something wrong, Elliott?

No.

No, sir, I just have
something caught
in my throat.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I can't think of anyone
that can use this advice
better than you can.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, Coach Johnson.

Thank you.

"If you think
you can't win, you won't."

Right.

COACH JOHNSON: "If you think
you're losing,

"you've lost."
All right!

"If you refuse
to strive to the limit,

"the limit's as far
as you'll go."

DELMA: That's right, sir.
"If you give in
to the fear and pain..."

Talk about the pain.

Oh, why don't you shut up,
Delma? This ain't exactly
no revival meeting.

Do you want something
with me, Monroe?

All right, cut it out,
you guys!

I'm sorry, Coach.

I couldn't...
Go ahead, sir.

"If you give in
to the fear and pain,

"there are thrills
you'll never know."

That's right.

"We have all been
put here by God

"as a test of our
courage and faith.

"The rewards to his
warriors are many.

"The rewards to
the losers, disgrace.

"Some say winning's
not everything,

"that competition
has a limited place.

"But if that cowardly
slogan is true,

"why did God name this

"the human race?"

Good question.

Coach, would it be okay

if Jo Bob and I
had a couple copies
of that poem?

JO BOB: Yeah,
we'd appreciate that,
Coach Johnson.

That has to be one
of the most inspiring
poems I ever heard, sir.

(MEN SNICKERING)

Yeah, I'd like one,
too, Coach.

MAN: (MOCKING)
Yeah, me, too, Coach.

Little brown nose.

(KISSING NOISE) Pussy.

ALL: One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight,

nine, ten.

Hold it!

Now, we count during
this drill, Elliott,

and you didn't count!

We're gonna do it
over again,

and you can thank Elliott
for the extra work.
(ALL GROAN)

ALL: (CHANTING)
Phil, Phil, Phil.

All right,
knock that shit off!
Let's go!

All right, let's finish up
with 10 jumping jacks.

Ready? Exercise.

ALL: One, two,
three, four, five

six, seven, eight,
nine, ten.

(ALL CHEERING)

All right, let's break
up into your groups.

I wasn't really counting.
I was just moving my lips.

You son of a bitch!

MAN: Good practice.
Now, let's go.

Let's go, Elliot.
Let's see if you
can catch one.

Look at Phil.
Come on.

About time
you caught one.

Scott, how are you?
Hey, Horace,
how are you doing?

Hey, Emmett,
how are you?
Hi, Horace.

Thanks for inviting me.

Yeah.
I was sorry to hear
about your daddy.

Well, thank you, Con.

That's the only
fight he ever lost.

When a man of your
daddy's wealth
dies of cancer,

you know they haven't
found a cure.

MAN: Let's go!

Come on.
Come on, Delma.

(GROANS)

Come on, I'll tell
you when you're hurt.

Easy, easy, easy.
What is it?
Hamstring.

Let's go. Come on.
It's my hamstring. Shit!

Did you feel it tear?
No. I heard it pop.

All right, take him inside.
Give me a hand.

Easy.
I seen better
hands on a clock.

Let's go.
Oh, shit.

Back to the tub
again, huh, Delma?

All right, let's go
to team drills,
Chicago defense.

Elliott, get back
with the first unit.

You know, if you were
moving any slower,
you'd be going backwards.

Very funny, Elliott.
Very funny.

And just one more game,
and we take our division.

That's what makes
it all worthwhile.

Christ, Con, you make
more in your manufacturing
division in one week

than this goddamn football
team makes in one year,

even if they do win.

Well, that's true,

but my manufacturing
division never got
the cover of Time magazine.

I'm going all the way
this year, Horace.
The big one.

Super Bowl.
No question about it.

And money
ain't everything
anyway, Horace.

What are you talking about?

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

Tell him, Emmett. (LAUGHS)

It's either pulled or torn.
We'll know more tomorrow.

Can you get him
ready for Monday?

Set!

Hut!
(ALL GRUNTING)

All right. Next play.
Next play. Come on.

Break it up.
Come on, Jo Bob. Shit!

MAN: Hang on,
hang on, Monroe.

Give Jo Bob some work
in there. Full speed.

3-22.

3-22.

Hut! Hut!
(ALL GRUNTING)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

You son of a bitch!

Goddamn, Jo Bob, is that
how you're gonna hit on Alcie
Weeks when we get to Chicago?

God damn it, Coach!

We're supposed to be
doing this thing half speed!

I don't wanna hear excuses,

I just want you
to get results.

Now, if you ain't ready,
we're just gonna tear off your
head and crap in your neck.

All right, same play.
Let's go!

MAN: 3-22.

Asshole.

3-22.

Hut!
(ALL GRUNTING)

COACH JOHNSON:
Jo Bob, get your head
out of your ass!

If you don't think
you can do this drill...
Son of a bitch.

...we'll bring
it up to full speed.

I know all your teammates
would love a live scrimmage.

Now let's do it again
and do it right!

Get your fucking ass
back on the line, Marco.

Fuck you, asshole.

COACH JOHNSON:
Come on, huddle up.

You cocksucker.

Your mama was
the best teacher.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Ooh!
They're fired up now.

Oh, yeah. They're
gonna ream Chicago.

(ALL SHOUTING)

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

That's enough.

(BLOWING WHISTLE)

Okay. Break it up.

Break it up.
Come on.

Break it up!

Okay, okay.
B.A.: All right, gentlemen.

All right.

Everyone at the airport
at 10:00 a.m., tomorrow.

MAN: All right,
we'll be ready.

Come on, good workout,
man, good workout.

Elliott, I'd like to
see you over here
in a minute, please.

Walk with me, Phil.

How's the knee?

Oh, it's great.
Feels real good.

You're limping.
(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, well,
that's just habit,
but, uh, feels good.

Uh-huh.

Phil, I'm gonna
need you in Chicago.

Delma's pulled
his hamstring again,

and you know Delma.

He can't stand pain.

He'll say
it hurts too much,

but he doesn't like
to use the needles.

So...

Can I count on you,
Phil, and your knee,

for the entire game?

B.A., you can always
count on me

to do whatever
it takes to play.

Hell, I love needles.

I guess that's what
we call maturity.

Huh?

(YELLS)

It's beautiful.

Yeah, really...

Really beautiful.

Come on.
Let's go into the house.

Okay.

Into the living room.
Ah, through the wall.

Yeah.

All right. Now...

Uh... Um...

Uh... This is
as far as I've got.

How long did it
take you to get this far?

Oh, about, uh...

Three years.

(SIGHS)

Anyway, I got 20 acres,

and it runs
along that gully,

and it goes
back in that valley.

Oh, God,
it's magnificent.

Yeah, and that's where
I'm gonna have
the horses.

I think you should
finish it, though.

I am gonna finish it.

Ta-da!

Made with my own
fair hands.

Oh, great.
I got the wine.

I got the salad.
Okay. Excuse me.

Well, excuse me.

I need all
the room here.

You've got
all the room. Ow.

Listen, what are we
gonna do about napkins?

Here. Use toilet paper.
It's cheap.

Oh, chic, chic.

Listen, uh...

Do you think this,
uh, raising horses
is just a dream of mine?

I don't know. Maybe.

It doesn't seem
very real.

Yeah?

Come on.

Hey, you like
burned steak?

Oh.

Hey, you know something?

When I'm with you,
my mind's a million miles
away from football.

I feel free.

Sounds like you're
tired of football.

Well, if I was,
I wouldn't admit it.

That would scare
the hell out of me.

Here, you want some wine?

Yeah.

I'm scared to death
most of the time anyhow.

Scared of what?

I don't know, of injury,
of playing badly,

anything that can knock
me out of the game.

You don't act like it.

Yeah. I don't dare.

You know, someday
you will be out of it.

Then what?

Oh, come on,
Charlotte, that's serious.
I'm having a nice...

I don't want
to get into that.

For Christ's sake,
come on. Let's don't
talk about football.

I'm gonna start Monday.

Everything in
my life's just great.

We got any butter?

Well, I don't think
it's great.

You know, I saw you
the other night.

You were in so much pain
you couldn't sleep.

Your body's
twisted and scarred.

You're drugging yourself.

Hey, listen, that's
just part of the game,
Charlotte.

Game?

You call men smashing
each other a game?

Oh, for Christ's sake!

You can't judge!

You live in a little
house secure with
your Texas money.

What the hell
do you know about it?

You live
in an unreal world!

If football's the real world,
I don't want any part of it!

It scares me.

Well, good.
It's not your life.

It's mine.

Come on, let's eat.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Why don't you build
your ranch instead
of dreaming about it?

Yeah, well, maybe I like
it better as a fantasy.

The payments are lower.

And you accuse me
of living in a dream world?

For Christ's sake,
Charlotte.

Now, look, I got to keep
my mind in the game.

I don't want
to get confused now,

so drop it!

Why don't you
watch the game?

I'll do something special
for you in Chicago.

PHILLIP: Hey, Eddie,
give me a match, will you?

Hey, Phil,
what's happening?

What are you doing
here early, man?

Oh, man, I got butterflies.
I couldn't sit
around the hotel, man.

I had to get out of there.

Where in the hell
is Jo Bob and O.W.?

I don't know, man.
They were in a cab
right behind me.

I done told you boys
when you got
special taping to do,

you gotta get down
to the stadium early.

Well, maybe I ought
to start getting here
the night before.

(LAUGHS)

Come on, Frank!
What are you doing?

We got
an important ball game.

You tape
my left ankle first.

You trying to
put the hex on me?

You old fart.

I'll tape that knee
after the doctor checks it.

Yeah.

You don't look
healthy at all.
Yeah, I know.

Yeah. I hurt myself.

Catch you later.

All right.
Have a good ball game.

Yeah. You, too.

Oh, yeah.

(GRUNTS)

Jo Bob,
this is it, babe.

This is what we want.

And what are we gonna do?

We are gonna
kick their butts.

What are we gonna do?
We know how
to kick their butts.

How are we gonna do it?
We're gonna do
it very roughly.

We're gonna do it.
No respect.

We're gonna do it.

We're gonna get 'em.
We're gonna get 'em.
Yes. Yes.

Weeks all there.
Weeks all there.

I mean Weeks now.
Where's my locker?

Come on.
Get your junk on, babe.

Ah. Hello, Phil.
What is it?

It's the knee.
Knee, huh?
Let's have a look.

Tell me when.

(GROANS)
Uh... Ah-ha-ha-ha.

"X" marks the spot.
Ow!

Hey, baby, you gonna
make it tonight?

I don't think so.

We need you, man.

Yeah. Frank, can I
get this hot packed?

Yeah, you got it, babe.

Hey, is this it?
Here?

Yeah, that's it.

Hold on.

Come on, Delma,
lift it up.

No? Tell him.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Okay.

Okay, here we go then.

Ooh, Jesus.

No, wait.
Wait a second.

Just wait a second.

Say when.
All right. Not yet.

God damn it!
Jesus, it burns.

(GROANS)

Goddamn.

You won't feel a thing.
Christ, how often
do you put this shit

in the coaches' hearts?

Ah...

There.

(SIGHS)

Now, that wasn't
bad, was it?

Oh, no. I loved it.

(LAUGHS)

Stand on it now. Try it.

(GRUNTS)

How does it feel?

Ah, it's numb.

Good.
Good.

It's a brand-new
knee, Doc.
(LAUGHING)

Better football
through chemistry, huh?

Hey, Delma,
using the heat, huh?

You must be
feeling better.

No, Coach,
it feels real bad.

And I don't think
I can make it.

Ah, come on, Delma.
You saw Elliott.

He was hurting, too,

but he has the guts
to do what it takes
when we need him.

If I shoot up,
I could hurt myself real bad.

I don't mess with needles.

You don't feel anything.

I could tear
my hamstring to bits.

God damn it, isn't it
time you thought
about the team?

Now, you listen, Delma.

You can't make it in
this league if you don't
know the difference

between pain
and injury.

Hey...

I'm just
trying to help.

Fuck it.

Come on, you guys,
stop playing grab-ass
and get ready.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Shit, I want to
hit somebody!
Give me some of that.

Hit somebody!

Goddamn, Monroe,
save it for the field.

I want to hit!
Hit! Hit! Hit!
(GRUNTING)

Here, give me
some, too, man.

That's good.

Okay, when Weeks starts
looping over the middle,
what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna
stay at home.

Okay, there's
no problem there.

That's right.
Okay.

Jo Bob, you know
who that is?

(SPITS)

That's Alcie Weeks, baby.

He's ugly.

He's the ugliest man
I ever seen,

and I don't want none
of his ugly rubbing off
on my pretty face.

All right.

I want you to knock
his cock in his
watch pocket, Jo Bob.

All right.

I want him walking
on his elbows

in the morning,
Jo Bob.
He will.

What are you gonna do
to him, Jo Bob?

Come on,
eat him up.

That's right,
eat him up.

All night long.

All night long,
Jo Bob,

you'll be eating
his stuff right up,

just like
white on rice.

You're gonna
be sticking
to him, Jo Bob.

If he does any
of that fancy loops,

any of that
kind of stuff.
I'm gonna get him.

We're gonna do it.
That's right.

All night long,
Jo Bob.

They say
he's the best?

He ain't the best.
He's nothing.

You can be
the best, baby.

You are the best.
I'm gonna get him.

It's time to get down.
I'm gonna get him.

It's time to get down.
Yeah.

Let's pad up now.
You want to pad up?
Yeah.

Let's go.
Let's get him.

Let's get ready now.
All right.

You ready?
Let's go pad up, baby.

Where's my locker?
It's right behind you.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Hey, Hartman,
while you're at it,

why don't you ask
the man about
the point spread?

Pussy.

(GRUNTING)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Well, all right.
No wonder they
call it the windy city.

Hey, baby. Cool.

Come on, honey,
save some for
the party.

You got a face
like a baby's butt.

Thank you, Seth.
Beautiful.

PLAYER: Fuck it!

Tell you what.

This time I'm gonna get
the bastard with this.
All right.

Mother clotheslined
me last time.

I'm gonna tear
his ass up.

I lost four
fucking teeth,
four teeth.

I'm gonna tear
his ass up.

(EXHALES)

Ten minutes!
Ten minutes!

You ready, babe?

Alan, I can't
fumble, man.

You saw what they
did to Stallings.
Hey...

You'll be all right, okay?

Give me a hit.

Ready?

Thank you.

(EXHALES)

Can't fumble.

Can't fumble football.

Hey! All right.
Have a good game.

All right?
All right, all right.

Let's go, Jo Bob.
Let's get 'em.

Let's go, babe.

How's that, Mark?

Little more air, Keith.

Hey, why don't you
pump up his ass

and blow his
brains out?
Up yours, asshole.

Oh, fuck you.

Five minutes!

How long, Coach?
Five... Fuck you!

All right,
settle down.

Listen up.

Out with
the cigarettes.

Coach.

Just one reminder,
gentlemen.

Please remember to
take off your helmets

when they play
the national anthem.

Also remember you're
on national TV,

so don't pick your noses
or scratch your nuts.

Excuse me,
Coach Johnson.

Mr. Hunter would
like to say a few
words to you now.

Thank you, B.A.

Men...

I want you
to win this game

for our fans,
for Dallas,

for me and my
little brother.

Not necessarily
in that order.

(LAUGHING)

Now, if we win
this game,

you're all invited
to spend a weekend

with your wives
and families

at my private island
in the Caribbean.

Bullshit.

And remember,

the eyes of Texas
are on you.

(ALL WHISTLING)

Knock that
shit off!

(WHISTLING STOPS)

Monsignor.

Dear Lord,
I ask your blessing
on these brave boys

as they venture
out to battle.

Take off your
fucking hats!

Sorry, Monsignor.

We ask not
for victory,

not for glory,

not for fame.

We ask only for
the preservation

of our bodies

and of our minds.

Bless also the entire
Hunter family

who have so
unselfishly given us

everything
we need for victory,

except our efforts

in the spirit
of sportsmanship,

with thy guidance,

thy kingdom,
power, and glory
for evermore.

Amen.
ALL: Amen.

Let's go kill
those cocksuckers!

(ALL YELLING)

Elliott?
Yeah?

I'm starting Delma,
but you stay up.

Be ready when
I need you.

He said
he's starting Delma.
I heard.

Yeah, but I thought...
I can't worry about
that right now, poot.

You just be ready.

(CROWD CHEERING)

SPORTSCASTER 1: With
less than two minutes
left in the game

this might be it
for North Dallas.

Chicago
leading 14-7.

North Dallas is
on the Chicago 25.

First and 10.

SPORTSCASTER 2:
This is nail-biting time
for the fans.

But it is suck-it-up
time for the players

because they have
to score on this drive.

SPORTSCASTER 1: Seth Maxwell
fakes. Hands off instead
to Andy Belford

and Belford is stacked up
for a three-yard loss

by Alice Weeks.

Boy, they haven't
kept Weeks out of
there all night.

SPORTSCASTER 2:
He has been in that
backfield all day.

They should
give him a uniform
the way he plays

in the North
Dallas backfield.

SPORTSCASTER 1: It'll be
a 3-yard loss back
to the 28 yard line.

The clock is running.
I wonder what
they're saying

as far as strategy
is concerned right now in
that North Dallas huddle.

Jo Bob, we need
to get through
"Titty Block" and Weeks.

Why don't you hit
the fucker, huh?

Why don't you go
and fuck yourself?

You just stay here
on the ball, Balford,

we'll take care
of up front.

Fuck you, psycho.

Just try to get that
fucking ball across the line
of scrimmage, asshole!

(ALL SHOUTING)

Shut the fuck up!

Nobody talks
in this fucking
huddle except me.

Jo Bob, O.W.,
God damn it,

I cannot throw
the football
with these guys

hanging all
over my ass.
Yes, sir.

Fitch, I want
a wing-quick-burst.

All right?
Red-right-76
on two.

Ready?
ALL: Break!

Weeks, I'm gonna get
your ass this time.

I'm fucking going to
kill you, cocksucker.

Come on, Jo Bob.

Hey, Jo Bob.

You're looking lousy.

You're getting old.
I hate to do it,

but I'm gonna put your
dick all in the dirt.

SETH: Set!

4-48.

4-48.

Hut! Hut!

SPORTSCASTER 1: Maxwell's
in a shotgun formation
on seven and 13 from the 28.

He fades to pass...

What a rush by Weeks,
who dumps him.

The pass is off, though.

Fitch, streaking down
the middle, is in the open.

Drop it.

And the pass
is no good.

Come on, Fitch!
Concentrate!

Are you okay, baby?

Hey, Weeks!

SPORTSCASTER 1:
The clock is stopped
and now an altercation

breaks out
on the field
(CLAMORING)

among a couple
of the linemen.

SPORTSCASTER 2: I can
understand why tempers
are a little hot right now,

because the game's
winding down to an end.

And this is
the season for them.

SPORTSCASTER 1:
Maxwell's asking
for a time out

although the
incomplete pass
has stopped the clock.

We've got less than
a minute to play.

Maxwell coming to
the sideline to talk
to his coach.

And you have to think
right now that Chicago

will drop back
on defense

and be in
a prevent defense

because it appears
that North Dallas
to win this ball game

will have to keep it
in the air.

SPORTSCASTER 2: This
is also the last time out
that North Dallas has.

So they're probably
trying to come up
with some strategy

that will allow
them to run 3 or 4
plays in a row.

They have very little
time left if they're
going to score.

SPORTSCASTER 1:
Maxwell is signaling
to Phil Elliott.

I think, Elliott's going to
come into the ball game
as one of the receivers.

SPORTSCASTER 2: And I'll go
with Elliott and Huddle
as the wide receivers.

And of course, like we said,
we're going to look
for some pass plays...

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Hey, if he comes in,
then I want something
special for him.

Having fun, boys?

Blow it up
your asshole.

How's the leg, Del?

Like your knee.
I can't feel anything.
Yeah.

All right,
huddle up!

God damn it, Jo Bob,
I ain't losing this game.

I'm tired of Weeks
sitting in my goddamn
face all night.

But I hurt, Seth.

I hurt bad.

I don't give a shit.
We all hurt.

All right, let's trap
the son of a bitch.

O.W., Jo Bob,
break his fucking leg
if you have to.

I want him
out of there.
(GRUNTING)

All right?
Green-right-c-motion.

41-trap-delay
on three.

Ready?
ALL: Break!

SPORTSCASTER 1:
Maxwell, brings them
out of the huddle.

And you know
Chicago's gonna be
coming on this play.

SPORTSCASTER 2:
We'll see if they've come up
with a good play here.

I wonder if Maxwell called it
or if the coach called that
one over on the sideline.

SPORTSCASTER 1:
Huddle lines up
on the left

and Maxwell
down under center.

The clock does not
start now, until
the snap of the ball.

Huddle's in motion
to the right.

Back to pass
is Maxwell.

It's a draw play
ball fake.

(SCREAMING)

(WHISTLE BLOW)

JO BOB: Suck
on that, Weeks!

SPORTSCASTER 2: Alcie Weeks,
the big defensive tackle
for Chicago is down.

It looks like he's holding
his right knee. This could
be a serious blow

to the Marauders' chances
if he is out of the game.

SPORTSCASTER 1:
North Dallas not only
gets a first down,

the clock is stopped.

SPORTSCASTER 2:
It looked like he got
hurt in a trap block

by Jo Bob Priddy
and O.W. Shaddock.

SPORTSCASTER 1: Well,
Weeks had been beating
those two all night long

and they finally got back
at him on that play.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

And a big first down
for North Dallas.

Jesus, Jo Bob,
we hurt him bad, man.

Fuck him.

Fuck it.

Huddle up.
Huddle up!

(GROANING)

All right, good job.
Good job.

Let's tie it up
and take it
into overtime.

Can you get the outside
linebacker, Phil?

All right, Delma,
it's your chance
to be a star, baby.

Let's go, baby.
Red-lax-92.

First sound,
all right?
First sound.

Ready?
ALL: Break!

SPORTSCASTER 2:
This is the situation
facing North Dallas,

they've got the ball,
18 yards away
from a touchdown,

but they have only
24 seconds left
in the game.

They have to score
if they're going to tie

this championship contest up
and send it into overtime.

SPORTSCASTER 1:
Maxwell sends Huddle
and Elliott to the left side

so they overload Chicago's
defensive right side.
SETH: Hut!

On 1st and 10.

Back to pass, Maxwell.
The lane is Huddle.

And the pass is
to Huddle on
the sidelines.

However,
there's a flag down,
Huddle is hurt.

Oh, what a hit by
Francis Chapman
from the secondary!

Let's check
the penalty marker.

The preliminary indication
from the official is

offensive holding
against the Bulls.

So instead of
a gain for a huddle,

it will be a
10-yard penalty
against North Dallas,

and the play
is erased.

God damn it.
Look at his face.

Fix his face!

Elliott!

Elliott!
Get up, Delma!

Get back
in the huddle!

The doctor will
look after him!

(DELMA GROANING)

You get back in
that huddle now

or off the field!

(GROANING)

SPORTSCASTER 1: Let's take
a second look at that play.

SPORTSCASTER 2:
You can see this play
was well set up

as Huddle takes a little
step back from the line
of scrimmage

and takes a swing
pass from Maxwell.

He is wide open
when he starts downfield.

But then he grabs his leg,
obviously in pain,

and Francis Chapman
comes up and lays
a massive blow on him.

There is no way
that Huddle

is going to make it back
in this contest.

Man, you ought
to see Delma's face.
Not now, poot.

All right, God damn it,
let's get mean.

Let's stick it
up their ass.

All right, two plays,
back to back.
No huddle.

Red-right-76,

come back with
red-right-79.

Phil.

You throw it, partner,
I'll catch it.

SETH: Both plays on 2.

Ready...
ALL: Break!

SPORTSCASTER 2: The Bulls
are now in worse shape
than they were before, Ross.

They have got only
16 seconds left,

but they are 28 yards
away from the score.

SPORTSCASTER 1: 1st and 20,
as Maxwell sets them up.

The clock does not
start until
the snap is made.

Elliott is in motion
to the right.

Maxwell's back to pass.

He's going to Elliott.

It's complete
at the 15-yard line.

But the clock
is running.

It was a good catch
by Elliott, but he didn't
get out of bounds.

So they've got to hurry
if they are going
to get a playoff

and get another chance
to score before
this game is over.

Five, four,
three, two, one.

They got
the play off.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CHEERING)

Yeah! Yeah!

Great catch!

Goddamn!

All right.

Good pass, man.

You're my
ace in the hole.
Good pass. Yeah.

SPORTSCASTER 1: North Dallas
has a chance to tie it.

And Prejza, the outstanding
kicker in the league,
is in there.

SPORTSCASTER 2: North Dallas
couldn't have the ball

in any better
hands in this case...
Or I guess you should say

in any better feet
than Prejza,

because he has kicked
43 straight extra points.

That's a new
North Dallas record,

and they're calling
him "Mr. Automatic."

SPORTSCASTER 1:
Campos will snap it back.

Art Hartman will put it down.
The snap.

The ball gets
away from Hartman.
It's on the ground.

Chicago recovers.
The game is over.

The Chicago Marauders
have held off

the North Dallas Rally
who win 14-13,
and what a finish.

SPORTSCASTER 2:
It looked like that snap
was right on the money.

Hartman just couldn't
control it, as it bounced
around off his finger tips

and what a shame
for North Dallas

after making such
a dramatic comeback

in the last few seconds
to move within one point.

SPORTSCASTER 1:
An agonizing defeat
for North Dallas.

They thought they had
the ball game tied.

They felt the overtime
was upcoming.

But it was not to be
and the Chicago Marauders

have won
the championship
by 1 point.

Listen, Phil,
you hold that arm
steady tonight.

Hey, uh,
how's Delma?

He needs surgery.

Hey, Elliott.

You looked pretty good
out there tonight.

You played good.

I wish we could
say the same thing
for you, Jo Bob.

You should've studied
Weeks' tendencies.

I thought I did, coach.

You don't listen.

We would've won
if we'd studied
those tendencies.

Aw, shit!
You never give us anything

to bring in the game
except your fucking facts
and tendencies!

To you,
it's just a business.

But to us,
it's still got
to be a sport.

You're supposed
to be a professional.
You go out there...

Oh, shit!
We work harder than
anybody to win.

But, man, when
we're dead tired in
the fourth quarter,

winning's got to mean
more than just money.

You were hired
to do a job!
Job?

Job? I don't
want no fucking job!

I wanna play
football, you asshole!

I want some feelings!

I want some fucking
team spirit!

This ain't no high school.
You don't have to love
each other to play.

That's just
what I mean,
you bastard.

Every time
I call it a game,

you call it a business,

and every time
I call it business,

you call it a game.

You and B.A. And all
the rest of you coaches

are chickenshit cocksuckers.

No feeling
for the game
at all, man.

You'll win, but it'll
just be numbers
on a scoreboard.

Numbers, that's all
you care about.

Fuck, man,
that's not enough for me.

I don't have to listen...
Oh, yes, you fucking do!

You got to listen
to me for once!

All you coaches are
chickenshit cocksuckers!

You're all chickenshit
cocksuckers!

God damn you!

Far out.

(GROANS)

Hey, Del,
how you doing?

Hey, come on, man.
You'll be back.

(SOBBING)
Come on. Hey, Del.

Come on.
You're gonna be back.

Come on, huh?

Fuck.

Come on.

Come on.

Whoa.

Good boy.

Hi.

Hi.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Just slightly damaged.
(CHUCKLING)

Look, I'm... I'm sorry
about the other night.

I had no right,
no right at all.

You had a right.

You see the game?
Yeah.

See the catch I made?

Yeah. It was terrific.

I'm sorry you lost.

I thought I was gonna
start that game.

Hell, I even
shot up my knee,

but they weren't
gonna let me start.

They were just using me
so they could get
another ball player

to deaden his leg.

God, that's awful.

Yeah. Well,
that's the way it is.

But what's important
is my performing.

The moment of the catch,
that feeling, that high.

Hell, I can
take the crap.

I can take
the manipulation.

I can take the pain.

As long
as I get that chance
every Sunday.

I think that this game
is twisting your mind.

The game's not twisting
my mind, Charlotte.

I know the game.

It's the rules
they make up.

I'm gonna play,

so I'm going
by their rules.

You can't separate
one from the other.

Yeah, but I can't
buck their system.
I can't fight them

any more than
you can drop out.

Well, if you've
made up your mind,

why did you
come to me?

'Cause I care
about you.

And I want
to see you again.

I've got a meeting
with Conrad Hunter.

Hell, I can't
let him see

that the merchandise
is damaged.
(CHUCKLES)

Here. Let me
help you.
Yeah.

You know, when you
think about it,

they're not worse
than anybody else, really.

(GRUNTS)

Come in, Phil.
Come on in.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Hello, B.A.

Sit there,
Phil boy.

All right, Ray.

Mr. Elliott,
where were you
last Monday

until approximately
8:00 a.m. Tuesday?

Uh, who wants
to know that?

I'm Ray March.
I'm with the league's

internal investigations
division.

On Tuesday of last week,
where were you?

Uh...

Now that, um...

I don't know.
You know that.

Why don't you tell me
where I was, huh?

No, no.
No, wait a minute.

Let me, uh...
Let me give you
a little hint.

That wise-ass
attitude of yours

isn't going to
get you out
of this one.

Do you understand that?

I think
you'd best answer,
Phil, boy.

All right.

Ruth, would, um...

Would you send in
Mr. Rindquist, please?

Go ahead,
Mr. Rindquist.

I am
Joseph Rindquist,

and I am a vice-officer
with the Dallas police.

Off-duty, I work
for Mr. Ray March

investigating reports
of league misconduct.

One week ago,
I was instructed to
take up the surveillance

of Phillip Elliott,

an employee of
the Dallas franchise.

I followed the suspect
from then until he

boarded a plane
this last weekend
bound for Chicago.

And all this time
I thought I was
just paranoid.

JOSEPH: "On Monday
of this week,

"at a party in a private
North Dallas residence,

"the suspect was observed
near the swimming pool

"in the company
of an unidentified
Caucasian adult male."

What do you mean,
"an unidentified
white Caucasian male,"

for Christ sake?
Didn't you recognize him?

I mean, who was it
that was with me?

Didn't you
recognize him, huh?

Some investigator.

Continue, Mr. Rindquist.

"At this time,

"the suspect
was photographed

"smoking a
marijuana cigarette."

Photo exhibit "F."

"Now, picking up
the suspect again
on Tuesday,

"I followed him
from these offices

"to 2612 Houston Drive,

"where he remained
until morning.

"This address
is the residence

"of a woman named
Joanne Rodney..."
Mr. Rindquist.

We don't need to bring
others into this mess.

Continue.

"A search of the suspect's
premises was effected,

"uncovering a bag
of marijuana...

"And assorted pills."

You got this from
Mr. Elliott's house?

Yes, sir.

Illegal drugs are
forbidden by the league
rules, Phil.

You know that.

Oh, for Christ sake, Conrad.
Jesus. Smoking grass?
Are you kidding me?

If you nailed
all the ballplayers

that smoke grass,
you wouldn't even
be able to fill

a punt return team.
Besides that,

you give me
harder stuff
in Chicago

just to get out
of the goddamn
locker room.

Hard drugs.
What's...

Continue.

Uh, photo exhibit "H"
shows Mr. Elliott

in the company
of a woman named
Charlotte Calder

as they're coming out of
a country and western...

Jesus Christ!

You sleazy...
Sit down,
God damn it!

Sit in that
goddamn chair!
You bastard!

What the hell do you think
you're doing here?

Damn it!

Who the hell you
think you are anyway?

We treated you
pretty well.

We paid you
damn well!

If you don't think so,
try to earn that
much out there.

You're in for
a big surprise,
my friend.

'Cause I don't
give a rat's ass
who you were.

I'll take care
of this!

We don't need this guy.
You're nothing but a
two-bit football player.

Calm down!

Let him talk.

Let him talk.

You got anything
to say, Phil?

Nah.

Are you part
of this, B.A.?

Phil, you have
the best hands
in football.

But there's a lot more
to this business
than ability.

No, no, no, B.A.,
you're wrong.

You're wrong,
because it is ability.

It is what I can do
with these hands,

and that's why
I play the game.

It's dedication.
It's discipline.

It's sacrifice.

You can't take
all the time.

You have to give
something back
to the game.

Oh, for Christ sake, B.A.

My nose is busted.
I can't even
breathe through it.

I can hardly
stand up.

You know, I haven't slept
more than three hours

at a stretch
in two years.

Now, isn't that giving
something back?

Oh, for Christ sake, B.A.,

there's pieces of me
scattered from here
to Pittsburgh

on these
football fields.

Now, isn't that
giving something
back to the game?

Isn't it?

B.A.

B.A.

B.A.

How can you take
this away from me?

How can you do this?

Okay, Phil.

Only now I
speak for myself.

And it's your
childish attitude.

You hurt the team.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Team?

Oh, Christ's sake, B.A.,
we're not the team!

They're the team!

These guys right here,
B.A., they're the team.

We're the equipment!

We're the jock straps,
the helmets.

And they just
depreciate us

and take us off
the goddamn
tax returns!

That's what that is.

Yeah. Well...

But I was good
when I played.

Because the only
thing that's real
in that game,

is me.

And that's enough.

Well, I feel
for you, Phil,

but you confused
luck and brain.
(SCOFFS)

You betrayed me.
You betrayed my family.
I tried to warn you.

You violated
the morals clause
of your contract.

It's that simple, so,

pending a league
hearing,

you're hereby suspended
without pay.

Yeah?

Is that what
it is, Emmett?

Is that what this
whole charade
has been about,

so you don't have
to pay my contract?

Well, hell,
I don't need your
money that bad.

I quit!

You are right, B.A.

Thank you.

It's time to put away
childish things.

Things get
ugly up there?

Pretty ugly.

My name come up?

Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

There's no reason
to bring you into this.

They suspend you?
(SCOFFS)

I quit.

I can't take it.
They want too much.

Too much ain't enough.

Not for them.

What you gonna do?

I don't know.

I'm gonna go home.
I'm gonna get in bed
with Charlotte.

I'm gonna spend
a week with her.
I'm gonna heal up.

I'm gonna spend
time with her
and ease up.

Take it easy.

Hoss.

Hmm?

I appreciate you
keeping my name
out of it.

Uh, no sweat.

You knew about it.

You know everything,
don't you, Max?

That I do, poot.

That I do.

Hey, poot.

Yeah?

Got any of them
old pain killers?

You keep 'em, cowboy.
You're gonna need 'em.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, Seth.

We really had 'em
worried in Chicago
though, didn't we?

Best catch
I ever seen, poot.

Not a bad pass, either.

Good luck on Sunday.

Hey, poot.
Yeah?