Noël Noël (2003) - full transcript

- The reindeer is known
for its antlers and hooves.

And its habit of landing
on small children's rooves...

Should a reindeer remain
such a symbol of joy?

Or should it be boxed up
and sold as a toy?

(engine)

For this is the startling
story I'll tell

of the man who had
everything... Christmas as well.

Now some may be wise,
well tutored or witty,

but this Christmas Cracker

has built a whole city...
And all you can buy there,

this fellow will sell...



That Corporate mogul
named Noel Noël!

Yes, this is the
terrible tale that I'll tell

of titanic tycoon,
Noel Noël!

As soon as October's
last leaves blow away,

his season commences,
the very next day...

On the first of No vember,
Noel Noël

starts a new Christmas season
by ringing the bell!

And his grip on your wallet
will not be relaxed

till each pocketbook's empty,
each credit card maxed!

Now, down in the town lives
the bold Murphy clan.

And Noel Noël

is a big Murphy fan.

For Ma and Pa Murphy love

Zoey, their daughter,



and hope that she'll love all
the presents they bought her.

They'll spend till their
pockets are barren and bare.

And even the Murphy dog,
Snooze, gets his share!

And this year, old Noël
has a marvellous plan

to siphon the wages
of this Murphy clan.

(gasping)

For reindeer can truly
bring oodles of joy

When packed in a box
and sold as a toy...

Yes, better than picture
books,

sweaters or sox.

Is a real live reindeer,

stuffed in a box!

Despite his vast wealth,
Noel would succumb

to gloom and despair;
yes, Noel was glum.

An affluent fellow
who wallowed in dread.

With a purse full of gold,

but a heart full of lead.
And what was the cause

of this wealthy man's woe?

But a dreadful mistake
made a long time ago!

Young Noel had a dream,
and he bought a small shop

by a ponderous pine,

on a hill, at the top.
And that's where he laboured,

constructing by hand
the most marvellous toys

ever seen in the land:

Tow trucks and trains,
and airplanes, too,

from wood, held together
with dowels and glue.

And Noel would never
look up from his work

and so ne ver noticed
a presence that lurked

at the window... A face
that was comely and fair.

Yet Noel Noël
remained unaware.

Though Noel made
wonderful to ys in his shop,

no customers came;
the place was a flop.

Although he stayed open
on Frida ys till nine,

the locals were spooked

by the ponderous pine.
"This business is bankrupt!"

Cried Noel with a scowl.

"It's time to cut losses
and toss in the towel!"

(faint laugh)

But before he got past
the first snowdrift

or two,

He encountered a lady
with glasses who flew!

Bespectacled Beatrice.
She was a fairy,

and beautiful, too,
if your taste is librarian!

"Fear Not!
Don't whimper and whine!

"I'm a fairy,
and all will be fine!

"For many an elf,
not to mention myself,

"do dwell in
the ponderous pine!

"Behold: This stick that you see

"is a twig that's cut
from the tree!

"With this wand
long and supple,

"your sales will quintuple.
Activate it by you kissing me.

"There is, of course,
one little catch...

"An addendum we cannot detach!
A curse will befall

"if the tree's hurt at all
by an axe

"or a saw or a match!"

Back to the present!

No more reminiscing!

Check and re-check so that
nothing is missing!

'Tis the night before Christmas!

No musing! No naps!

Just work yourself
into a total collapse!

Beware if you sleep

and remain in these halls.

At the first stroke of
midnight, disaster befalls!

The man who owns Christmas
cannot feel the joy

that he once must have felt
when he was a boy.

Noel isn't happy;
he's cranky

and weepy,

for each Christmas day,
he's condemned to look creepy!

He's also pursued... Good Gravy!
Gadzooks! ...by elves

who for some reason
turn into spooks!

They're not paparazzi

and surely not fond
of Noel Noël!

They're after that wand!

Now the Murphys are
perfectly happy this day,

with their piles of
presents and carols and play!

A time for a game, a story,
a joke

and forgetting their woes, like
the fact that they're broke.

(stomping)

But Noel, so ghastly,
assaulted by loonies,

must co ver his form
and hide in the boonies!

And what, once again,
was the cause of his woe?

Once more we'll return
to that long time ago.

When he pledged to the tree
and smooched with the fairy.

Soon all the townspeople
ceased to be wary.

They flocked to the shop

and took all he could sell,
all the things he had made

and back-orders as well.

But Noel was distracted.
Not noticing this,

his mind was consumed
by the Beatrice kiss.

For Noel now felt
a mysterious urge.

Her kiss had been more

than a corporate merger.

Of giants and demons,
a man may be wary,

but woe to the bloke who's
been smote by a fairy.

Noël in business
was sharp and meticulate.

In matters of love,
he was quite inarticulate.

If his tongue remained tied,
then words would not win her.

What would work? Fancy wine?
A sumptuous dinner?

No, better than that!
He'll win her heart with a gift.

A Noëllian work of fine art.

Oh! A reindeer

the size of a gerbil!

So organic,
so wholesome, so herbal.

A gift is a start
in expressing the heart.

But a lady prefers
something verbal!

If something in you has awoken,

a gift can be only a token.
Let me give you some tips.

Move your mouth, move you lips.

For the words of the heart
must be spoken.

But Noel could not fathom;
he had no rebuttal.

The concept expressed
was too complex and subtle.

What difference do words make?
Who cares what is said

when one can have diamonds

and rubies instead?

And Noel did wonder,
yes, wonder and weep.

She didn't like gifts
that were hand-made and cheap.

But Noel had a notion,
an inkling, a feeling,

that raising his profile

would make him appealing!

And, what would appeal
to both angel and witch?

She'd love him if he became
stinkingly rich!

So Noel sought love
through lucre and power

and, grabbing a pencil,

made plans for a tower.

Ignoring the fact,
as he drew his design,

that this great Christmas castle
precluded the pine!

- Aaah!!!

Aaaaah...!!!

- Then out of the stump,

a substance was spewing.

Could it be...

This was young Noel's undoing?

It wasn't a virus.

No, something much worse!
Young Noel was hit

by a conifer's curse!

And back in the present,
his memories churning,

old Noel is filled
with a terrible yearning.

He's lost his ideals,

good looks, and what's more?

He's now lost the specs
that once Beatrice wore.

(radio playingJingle Bells.)

(humming)

(barking)

(giggling)

"My life's turned to ashes.

"It just isn't fair!"

And Noel Noël
cries out in despair.

(crying desperately)

Then, off in the distance,
by chance,

who should hear this echoey cry,

but a tiny reindeer?

Poor little Zoey did
splutter and moan!

Her best present ever,
the reindeer, had flown!

Reindeer may come
and reindeer may go.

But not my reindeer,
cries tough little Zoey!

The reindeer ran
to the Noël tower

and burst the door
with her arcane power.

Though the weather's cold
and snowy,

undeterred is little Zoey!

Nothing can head off
the searchin'

of this brave
determined urchin.

(baby crying)

And just in case
she needs a backer,

Snooze the mutt
will try to track her.

(sniffing and barking)

(speaking frantically)

(singing)

Yes, through the city,
young Zoey roams.

This kid's a regular
Sherlock Holmes!

And in the snow,
she finds a clue:

A pair of specs...
and a monster, too!

While some would
flee with great velocity,

confronted by
a strange monstrosity.

This child ignores
his ugly features.

She's kind to all
misshapen creatures.

But before even Snooze
can arrive to protect her,

they're both whisked away

by a vaporous spectre.

- Aaah!!!

- Yes, this is the spot

where the y finally drop

with a stump right beside
the remains of his shop.

Zoey thinks that she's found

her pet pla ymate at last,

but to Noel it seems
like a sign from the past.

But this reindeer's
a truly peculiar entity.

Can a herbivore have
a secret identity?

(teeth chattering)

A fairy and toy maker both

made a vow, a promise, an oath.

"By hackin' and hewin'
this tree is a ruin!

"You seem to have
stunted its growth!

"Moreover,
you've been such a chump!

"This tower is just
a big dump!

"Now take the great wand
of which you are fond,

"And plunge it into the stump!
Now tell me:

"Don't make me guess.
Noel, it's time to confess!"

"I hoped with vast riches,
I could afford great gifts

"for a lady I truly adored.

"Still I worship this lady
all others above,

"for a fairy called Beatrice
I truly love."

"Good grief!
The trouble with men

"is simple stuff
outside their ken!

"The thing to do next
is give me the specs

"and repeat
what you said once again."

(barking)

(laughing)

"I love you, Beatrice."

So Noel found love,

with true joy and laughter.
And together they lived happily

ever after!

You may not own the world

Because some things
were never meant to be

But when you spoke
that simple phrase

It was magic words to me

A simple Christmas tree

On Christmas day

May seem so very fine

But we found love
in falling snow

Beneath a living pine

Don't try to speculate

Or analyze

Snow flakes and diamonds

Are the same

I see them in your eyes

Captioning by CNST, Montreal