No Alternative (2018) - full transcript

"No Alternative" is a coming-of-age drama that blasts open the world of grunge-era teenagers in the early 90s. Thomas Harrison is determined to start his own alternative band after the suicide of Kurt Cobain -- it's an obsession that blinds him to what's either the mental collapse, or the eruption of musical genius, of his little sister, Bridget. Bridget boldly rejects her brother's music, and the music of an entire generation of slackers, by taking on the persona of a gangsta' rapper named "Bri Da B."

[Dr. Denner] Tell me about
your experience
the other day at school.

[Bridget sighs]

[Bridget] I was hanging
out before first period

when for some reason
I started focusing on this girl

and how she was breathing.

It sounded like bagpipes.

Like a big bag of bagpipes
just squeezing itself.

It's like I needed
to hear her fat breaths,
so that I could breathe myself.

You know...

Then, something snapped.

My legs fell out
from underneath me.

I was like on a rollercoaster,
Freefall at Six Flags.

Everyone was looking at me.

So I ran into the bathroom
and into the cafeteria
and started crying.

It didn't stop for
the next three classes.

[Dr. Denner]
What inspired you to emerge?

I don't know.

[Dr. Denner]
I want you to try this.

It should help
with the social unease.

[sound of pen on paper]

[Dr. Denner]
You can take it with the Prozac,
it shouldn't be a problem.

[grunge music]

[grunge music]

[grunge music]

Fucking hell.

[rap music on the radio]

[grunge music]

[music stops]

Can you play softer?

Not really,
loud is kind of the point.

Your mother has tinnitus.

You have one hour.

Turn that shit back up, man.

[drum sticks]

[Bill] Elbows.

So, Bill. Tell us about work.

I had kind of an interesting
arraignment this week.

The defendant, a Dina Rangerajan

is being accused
of attempted murder.

Apparently, the woman
and her husband, Vikram,

were playing
a game that the prosecution

referred to as "kind of kinky".

In the game,
one of the players would
be blindfolded and handcuffed,

and would have to guess
what object was touching them.

When it came time for him
to be handcuffed and blindfolded

Rangerajan stabbed him twice in
the chest with a paring knife.

-Oh no, it gets a lot better.

She puts him in the car,
insisting of course
that it was an accident,

drives him to the hospital,
but doesn't go into
the emergency room.

No, she parks around the block
and then stabs him again,

this time puncturing his heart.

-What the fuck?

When the police
question her, she tells them

that the husband came home,
and he was already stabbed.

But then the cops tell her
that Vikram is still alive,

and he told everyone about
the game and the stabbings.

-Pretty crazy.
-Yeah, well what's really crazy,

the guy ends up living and now
he's defending her in court,

saying that she has bipolar
disorder and it's not her fault.

May I be excused?

[Maureen] Sure.


Anyway, I set bail at $500,000.

Any plans tonight, Thomas?

Just hanging around Bronxville.

How's your application
to Georgetown going?

It's good.

Have you sent them
all the materials they require?

Mr. Macron sent
his recommendation this morning.

Good. Good.

[tense background music]

[Alex] I'm at the Beasty Boys
concert in the Pit,

and she's flicking her hair
around me, she's sticking
her ass up all on my junk,

next thing
I know I'm in her parents
bedroom on fucking 5th Avenue.

-[Jeremy] Were her parents home?
-[Alex] Who knows where
the hell they were,

but they should've been.
You know those warning
stickers on CDs?

There should've
been one on this girl.

Parental advisory, your
daughter is a fucking whore.


-[Thomas] Douche?
Yeah, it is vanilla, toasted.

-I'm going to take a piss.
-[Alex] Breaking
the seal already?

-You're going
to be pissing all night.

Douche bag,
I hope your piss burns!

[guitar music]

[Thomas] So, you're that dark
loner who comes to parties
and doesn't talk to anyone?

Dude, you don't know
how many girls I get doing this.

-What's the song?
-[Elias] One of mine.

Ever thought
about joining a band?

-I'm looking for a singer.
-Do we know each other?

You're in
my English class, right?

Oh yes. Well,
here's some English for you.

[guitar playing]

Guys, I barely know
how to play this thing.

That doesn't stop
most of the bands we like.

I can teach you
as you go along, man.

I have a song
that's four chords.

-That's just what we need.
-It's one too many
if you ask me.

[guitar playing]

It's a love song,
call it "Chumin".

[Thomas] A love song about chum?

Chum is what love carves
you into after it's over.

-I kind of like it.

[rock music]

And then I changed
it up in the verse.

I think I might
have a good intro.

[guitar music]

[rap song playing]

[keyboard music]


You're home early.


The lady that
stabbed her husband,

I didn't think
she'd make bail, but she did.

I put a restraining
order on her, but...

Last night she went home
and stabbed her husband
and her daughters to death.

Jesus Christ.

The family is
sending in a lawsuit,

they're blaming me and my
quote, "Premature decision to
let this troubled woman free".

I'm so sorry.

What one crazy person does
is not your fault.


What are we
going to tell the kids?

We'll tell them
what we always tell them.

Tell them the truth.

I don't think
that's a good idea.


Is Bridget having dinner?

She said she's not hungry.

I think she
should sit at the table.

Let it be, Bill.

No. No, I will not
let it be. Goddammit!

Your father had a bad day.

No shit.

[music playing]

Please come down to dinner.

-Please come down to dinner.

Fuck that.

You pay a price for that.

I loved those
headphones, they were
like a part of my head.

Well, not anymore.

[door closes]

[footsteps approaching]

Well, Thomas. How was your day?

Had to be better than yours.


[Zack] Guys, check my move.


-You guys got a great crowd.
-[Connor] Yes.

We didn't get a great crowd.
Opening for "The Incinerators"
got us the good crowd.

-Zack's brother is the bassist.
-[Connor] Dude, that's awesome.

-Nepotism, so
-Ain't it, though?

[glass breaking]

[Jim] Why did you
bring me to this shit hole
if you were just going to leave?

Maybe the fucking
shit hole is you, and I don't
want to hang out anymore.

-So, where are you going?
-So I'm fucking leaving.

-What is your deal?
-Don't fucking touch me.

Yo. Hey, bro,
it's about time you got here.

This show's so fucking lame.

Hey, chill out, my brother's
a black belt in jiu-jitsu.


Yes. Me.

Let's get out of here.

You are a waste of fucking time.

Fuck off. [laughs] Oh, shit.

-Thank you so much, man.
I owe you one.
-Yes, no problem.

[Abigail] They're about
to go on, you want to go in?

[Zack] Yeah.

[Connor] You want to check
out the other bands, dude?

You want to go for a drive?
Maybe get some beers?

-You got a car?

Yes. Sure.
Don't worry about your friends.

Okay. Charlie, don't cross her.

I'm Thomas.

I'm Jackie.

[Jackie] Are you all right?

I'm better than all right.


Shit. Fuck. Get dressed.

[horn honks]

[Thomas] Jesus.

-Hi, officer.
License and registration.

[officer] Step out of the car.

Hands on the car.
Any weapons in there, miss?

No, Chris and I were
just having fun.

All right. At ease, son.
You can turn around.

[officer] Mr. Thomas Harrison.

Any relation to
judge William Harrison?

Do you know him?

Sure. Voted for him. Twice.

-Never heard of him.
Of course you haven't.

[officer] You know, he's
in some hot water. Should have
never released that crazy cunt.

I don't think it was
her vagina that was crazy.

You're right.
Sorry, pardon me, miss.

Have a good night.

Fucking asshole.

Bronxville cops suck
the biggest dicks.


[rock music]

Okay. Pull over right here.
Try to be quiet if you can.

-Is this where you live?
-No, it's a friend's house.
She left the back door unlocked.

Her parents are clueless.

Can I call you?


[rock music]

-[Maureen] Thomas, wake up.
You have to drive your sister.

[Maureen] You have to
drive your sister to school,
I already told you this.

School? On a Sunday?

[Maureen] She's running a booth
at the Fall Festival. Come on.

So, what's this
booth you're running?

Kissing booth.

-[chuckles] Oh, really?

[Bridget] Just something
dumb from our class.

-Sounds fun.
-Not even close.

You can take
my place if you want.

[Thomas] You know these girls?

[Bridget] Yes.
They're in my class.

They're sophomores?

a bunch of posers.

You want to come
inside and buy some drawings?

We're raising money for retards.

We got band practice.

God, you're wasting
your time with that stuff.

How do you know?

[background music]

[loud grunge music]

¶ I'm through ¶

¶ You always take for
granted those things I do ¶

¶ with us it's always
the stupid bullshit lies ¶

¶ You never really tried
To let me understand
Those things you do ¶

¶ And when I close my eyes
I still love you ¶

¶ And when I look inside
It doesn't matter ¶


Fuck, man.

Oh, hey, sorry.

Thomas, a minute please?

Yes, sure.

I'll be right back.

-Is it something I said?
-Dude, come on.

-Well, I didn't do it
if that's what you're thinking.
-I know you didn't do it.

-Did you notice anything?
Did you hear anything?
-We've been practicing.

Maybe if you spent less
time making noise and more
time focusing on reality...

Bill, please.

[Bill] Oh God.

[Bill] When public
officials are threatened,
it's a security risk.

I'll cut right to the chase.
I got a handgun.

As much as I hate
the idea of bringing
a gun into this house,

the Chief of Police
recommended that I carry one.

I've been issued a government
carry permit, and a standard
45 caliber pistol.

Your mom and I thought
you both should know.

Does this have to do with
the woman who killed her family?

Yeah, yeah it does.

I understand. I'm cool with it.

This is so not cool.

Shootings are 10 times more
likely to happen in a house--

Please don't lecture me
on crime statistics.

Fine. Just, please don't
shoot me by accident.
That's all I ask.

-I doubt it it'd be by accident.

This is not a joke.

[knocking on door]

-[Thomas] Bridget,
you almost done?
-Just a minute.

Wearing that shit
doesn't make you look like him.



Who says I'm trying to?

You okay?

A million bucks.

What's up?

Graffiti, and Dad getting a gun.

His job has some risks.

Dad needs to see
that we can deal with it.

What if I don't know if
I can deal with it?

-Doesn't it bother you?
-Yes, sure, it bothers me.

He'll be okay.


Fuck it.

[dial tone]

[phone ringing]

-[Diane] Hello?
-[Thomas] Hi, is Jackie there?

[Diane] May I ask whose calling?

This is Tom Harrison.

[Diane] Hold on.

[Jackie] Hello?

Hi Jackie. This is Tom Harrison.

-I know you are.

I wish you'd told
me you're going to call me.

How could I've told you
I was calling, without calling?

-It's okay.
-Anyway, the reason
I'm calling...

I was wondering if... maybe
you wanted to go on a date
with me, like a real date?

Sure, but, I should
probably tell you something.

[music from tv]



Thanks for being a sport.

- I feel like a fucking
-You're not.

Maybe we shouldn't do this.

Who cares what my parents think.

Not here...

Please don't tell
anyone about this...

About... my parents.

Your secret's safe with me.

[train passing]

Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen. Welcome to Open mike
night at Slave To The Grind.

We've got some interesting
folks for you tonight.

First up,
someone new to our stage.

Born and raised in Harlem,
moving rock and pimpin' hoes.

He's come to spit his styles,
ladies and gentlemen, Bri.Da.B.


Yo, niggas.

[rapping] ¶ B-R-I, D-A-B aha ¶

¶ I'm not a player
But the ladies like me ¶

¶ I make one dollar,
Two dollar, three, four ¶

¶ Don't try to stop me,
I'll make five dollar more ¶

¶ Harlem life like wasn't
Giving me nothing, aha ¶

¶ Now every night
I eat turkey with stuffing ¶

¶ I got the gravy on top
Mixed with the greens ¶

¶ I got the peas and carrots
And mama beans, yeah ¶

¶ I keep the ladies
Laced with zirconia ¶

¶ Their response is
Baby, let me go, yeah ¶

¶ I keep the streets
Alive and lit ¶

¶ 'Cause my 89 Honda ain't
Never going to quit, no ¶

¶ Being a big dicked man
Was never easy ¶

¶ Now got the one, two, three
baby for shizzy ¶

¶ The ladies are attracted
To my dirty foreskin ¶

¶ I'll hit you from the back
Just let me in, yeah ¶

¶ I ain't a player,
I just crush a lot, ahh ¶

¶ I like my fish
And I ain't going to stop, aha

¶ My dick is fat,
Ready and right ¶

¶ So get in line, bitches
But don't fight, aha ¶

¶ Bri.Da.B. ¶

[keyboard music]

[only one clapping]

Thanks, bitch.

You're fucked in the head.

Nope. Never been fucked there.

That was so punk rock,
I can't even handle it.

Bullocks or shite.

Everybody in there takes
themselves way too seriously.

If it's not grunge,
or whatever they call it,
they couldn't give two shits.

I'll go watch the trains,
want to come?

Uh... Okay.

[Stewart] People don't
realize he was a prankster.

The guy wore "corporate
magazines suck" T-shirt

on the cover
of a corporate magazine.

The record companies are all
looking to the next Nirvana,

never say anything
so from Seattle. Wearing
thermal underwear and shit?

The reason people wear
thermal underwear in Seattle

is because it's fucking cold
and wet there all the time.

Kurt used his music
to react against conveyor belt,

the crap that the AEs dished out

only to become exactly
what he was reacting against.

Must have hated himself for it.

No thanks.

[Stewart] I quit.
Been sober eight months.

Now that's punk rock.

Where do you go to school?

Sarah Lawrence.

I'm majoring in surrealism.

What ever
happened to surrealism?

It was an anti-art movement.

It was developed in reaction to
the rationalism that led to
World War I.

It was a no pun intended,

an alternative
to the formalistic
painting of the time.

Perhaps, Bri.Da.B.
is a surrealist.

[Stewart] [laughs] I knew it.


-So you get
in her pants last night?
-[Thomas] We watched a movie.

Did you get in her pants?

-She is in
my fucking sisters grade.
-Oh, shit.

So did you or did you not
get into her pants last night?

Yes, maybe.

When do you turn 18?

[Thomas] A couple of months.

Are you guys serious
about this band or what?

We need to start
rehearsing twice as much.

When we're not rehearsing,
we need to practice
on our own every day.

We also need
to work on those hooks.

Elias, you're the front man,
work on those vocals, that rasp.

-Yeah, I'm trying
to get rid of that rasp.
-No dude, use it.

Labels are looking
for that post grunge sound,
pop music with dirty vocals.

Yes, but, there is
10,000 other bands that
sound exactly like that.

Not yet, we need
to move on with this, dude.

I agree.

All right guys, check this out.

Tom and I were talking.

If we submit a demo and they
like us, we get to play in
a battle at the Capital Theater.

Winner gets a record deal.

Alternative rock,
it's got to be original.
Those are the two rules.

We haven't even played
a frigging gig yet, man.

All we got to do is record one
song, man. That's all they want.

We don't need a gig, Elias,
what we need to do is record.

-We're not ready.
-We can do this.

[Thomas] This Capital Theater
gig is the gig we want.

It's the gig that
will get us somewhere.

That's the goal, isn't it?

We can work out
the kinks in the studio.

Jer, what do you think man?

I'm down with it.

Sweet, okay. Heads up!

[professor] Golding
is saying something very
specific about conflict itself,

and since Lord of The Flies
was published less than
10 years after the war,

the author is likely saying
something about the war itself.

The boys were
split into two groups,

those born during the war
and those born after the war.

There is this
duality in the text,

just like there
is a duality in all of us.

I hooked up with your
brother. I've done better.

[distant screams]

We have no choice. We told you
if you lose control again
we're going to send you back.

Your father and I
can't take it anymore.

I'm not going back.

You need proper care.

We can't give you
the supervision you need.

-What's going on?
-Go-- Let me handle it.
Go downstairs.

I'm not fucking going back!

That's not your choice to make.

-[crying] Fuck you!
-You need to fucking relax.

No, you fucking bitch.

I hate you,
you fucking bitch. Get out!

-Get out!
-Don't you fucking touch her!

Touch Mum like that again
and I'll kill you.

Go downstairs now! Now! Now!


I hate you.

[Bridget] [crying and mumbling]

I hate you.

[Thomas] I don't
understand what's wrong.


She is...

She's been on antidepressants
since she was eight years old,
if you can believe it.

Done everything we could
to shield you from it.

She has our legs,

but she's never
figured out how to use them.

Now you--
you had some of the same,

I mean, similar issues
when you were a kid.

But, I mean, you
learned how to deal with it.

Because you
have discipline, Thomas.

Your sister,
she's just different.

What did you say to her?

[Jackie] Nothing.
I was just joking around,
typical girl's shit.

My sister's manic-depressive,
she can't handle jokes.

I realized that. She
punched me in the fucking face.

I'm really sorry
that happened, I am.

My family's been going
through a lot recently.

It's okay.

[Maureen] William has been
experiencing work-related--

[Bill] A particular
decision that I made has
been criticized publicly.

[Dr. Denner] Oh, yes.
I've read about it.

The fact that it
is coinciding with
my run for the Supreme Court...

Let's just say it
hasn't been very helpful.

Bridget, how has
this affected you?

In the very least
it's been kind of exciting.

When I lie down, I can't
think about anything else
except why I'm not sleeping.

I can't even remember the last
time that I had a dream.

[Dr. Denner] Mhm. Anything else?

The only thing that
I can say for sure,

is that most of the time,
I can't feel anything.

It's like the world
is just one big ball of pudding.

And I'm stuck
in the middle of it.

[Dr. Denner]
I am confident this can
be solved with medication,

and I hesitate to send
Bridget back to the hospital.
She's been making progress.

I think I'm going
to take her off Prozac,
switch her to Zoloft.

It's new. Let's see
how she reacts to that.

Let's start her on Neurontin
it's a mood stabilizer,
smooth out the Zoloft.

As for the insomnia,

I'll prescribe a sleeping aid.

With half dosage
to start and monitored,

we'll see where
we stand in a month.

Sounds like more pudding to me.

Are you sure all
of these prescription
drugs are the answer?

She's been taking
them for years and we're
still having these issues.

[Dr. Denner]
Medication remains
the most effective treatment.

¶ ¶

I don't know. I think
Nirvana's kind of a dumb name.

It means heaven, right?

Yes. Yes, pretty much, but
what's punk rock about heaven?

Hell is way more punk rock.

What if we called
ourselves, "The Saints"?

I shouldn't-- I think, there's
a punk band in New Zealand,

-or Australia or something
that has that name.

We could call ourselves,
"The Latter Day Saints".

Why "Latter Day"?

We're the fucking future.

-Hey, you.

[Jeremy] I'll leave you
two kids alone. Keep your--

-How are you?

-Where's Thomas?
-[Maureen] He's out
with his friends.

-Can I go hang out with them?

I know what they do.

-They find a place
to hang out and drink beer.
-Well, if that's the case,

then maybe some neighbor
will have the good sense
to call the cops on them.

Oh, fuck!

¶ ¶

I haven't seen anything
John Travolta's been in
since Look Who's Talking 3,

but I'm saying, this tops that.
When he stabbed Uma Thurman
in the chest with that needle,

I thought I was going
to pass the fuck out.

That scene's a rip off
of Martin Scorsese's
documentary American Boy.

Verfuckingbatim dude.
Neil Diamond's manager,
the movie's about him

and he tells this really fucked
up story about giving a girl,

a girl who OD'd,

an adrenaline shot the size of
a canon to the heart.

Same goddamn scene,
same dialogue.

So, what? Am I ever
going to watch that film?

No. I don't watch
anything made before 1986.

Top Gun is my absolute limit.

-[Connor] Bridget? What's up?
-What's up, guys?

[Connor] Do your
parents know you're here?

-Do your parents
know you're here?

-Shut up, dude.
-Is my brother around?

Your big brother's a little
busy right now, little sis.

Usually, drumming's the one
thing I can do without thinking.

It's like, I can just
shut my brain off and do it.

But, I don't know, I haven't
been able to do that lately.

[laughing and mumbling]

You see these two fingers?
I can't fully extend them.

It's fine holding the drumstick,

but you can't
play a power chord.

I always wanted
to play the guitar.

What happened to them?

When I was younger,
my dad coached my soccer team.

He told me he wanted me
to play goalie
because he could rely on me.

And I dove for the ball once,
and jammed them into the post

and cracked
them up pretty badly.

He wouldn't take me out
of the game and I wanted to
tough it out for him.

We won.

Hey, check it out.

-I got it in the city.
-Do your parents know?

[laughs] You must be stoned.

I know what you
can do with those fingers.

Rape me. I give you permission.

Jackie, you can stop
coming on so strong. I know
you're not really like that.

What if I told you...

[train passing]


What if I told you,
I want you to be my first?

What if I told you the same?

[dial tone]

911. What's your emergency?

Hi, yes. I would like
to report some troublemakers

causing a ruckus
down at the field
by the Boy Scout cabin.

What kind of a ruckus, ma'am?

The kind that
involves guns and minorities.

¶ ¶

My favorite part was when
that fucking gimp popped out.

-I'd like to own a gimp.
-I didn't really get it.

Too much violence and dialogues,
and we're this, and we're that.

Someone should tell Quentin
Tarantino he's not black.

-Why don't you
give him a call there, bud?

[police siren]

-That's bad.

Stop there, maiden.
I will take you to safety.

You'll get us both caught,
you fucking idiot.

¶ ¶

[police siren]

[Thomas] Fuck. Get dressed.

My parents are going to kill me.

Not if they don't catch us.

[officer] Hiya. Party's over.

Could there be leeches in here?

I'm more worried about the rats.

Turn around and get
your asses back over here.

What are you
going to do, shoot us?

[officer] Oh, what's this?

Well, I don't know.

It's a misdemeanor, at least.

[crows crowing]

[vinyl record starts,
hip hop beat]

¶ My daddy's a Republican,
His daughter's a pig ¶

¶ I got dreads in my hair
And I walk with a limp ¶

¶ Supreme Court ain't nothing
When you live in the hood ¶

¶ The ladies want your dick
And they want your goods ¶

[beat continues]

[Connor] Alright gentlemen,
so I looked into booking
some days at Four Trees.

It's a studio upstate.

[Connor] Yep. I figure we
can go up, take a weekend.

No distractions, just music.

There's an apartment downstairs
underneath the studio
where the bands crash.

Sounds cool.

[Thomas] What's up, Jeremy?

[Elias] Where have you been?

Are you fucking serious?

-[Elias] Fuck, yeah.
-Yes, I got caught with pot.

I'm probably going to get
it reduced to possession,

but still, my mum
is super fucking pissed.

Dude, maybe
I can talk to my dad,
see if he can do something?

[Jeremy] No, don't worry
about it, dude, I'm not.

Something good came out
of it though. I wrote a song.

[Connor] Nice.

[Jeremy] Ah...
I disappeared into my head,

I guess to escape the shithole
that I was sitting in,

and it took me
away back to Mexico.

When I was there
last year over break,
when Leslie broke up with me.

We're on the beach,
making out for the last time,

and I could feel her face.

Our tears mixing together.
It was like it was all
happening all over again.

Even the way the blood dripped
into the sand after she left.

It all came back to me.

Except this time
I could write about it

instead of doing something
stupid like cutting my wrists.

¶ The rusted bars
inserts in pain ¶

¶ The brightest smile
You toss my way ¶

¶ It stung my eyes
Until I cried ¶

¶ Melted the bars
The devil died ¶

¶ The time has come
To take my hand ¶

¶ And through my heart
You sent a sign ¶

¶ A warning not to rearrange ¶

¶ A life I've sworn
Has been too strange ¶

¶ The time has come
To say goodbye ¶

¶ The light of your smile
Never bends ¶

¶ Too good for me,
I'll keep in mind ¶

¶ Reality can't help but fall ¶

¶ Quick to stand
You're in my reach ¶

¶ I'll walk with you
Until you're safe ¶

¶ I played it safe
Until the end ¶

¶ And know that
I found you finding me ¶

-[Connor] It's good, man.
-[Thomas] It's great, dude.


¶ ¶

[Stewart] In October of 86,
CBS anchorman Dan Rather

was assaulted
by two men on Park Avenue
wearing suits and sunglasses.

Rather was thrown
to the ground, and one
of the men started kicking him,

and asking,
"Kenneth, what's the frequency?"

Rather was confused, he
didn't answer and they ran off.

Why didn't he just tell them?

No one ever caught them.

I did a little bit of research,

and I found
the guy in an upstate prison
who claims that he did it.

He claims he's from the future.

This guy, he says that
everybody in the future
has a double in the past,

and he'd just mistaken
Rather for his future double,
Vice President Kenneth Burrows.

He's convinced that the news
media is beaming hostile
transmissions into his head

-to prevent him from
returning to his own time.
-Where are you going with this?

Michael Stipe
said this about it,

"It remains the premiere
unsolved American surrealist
act of the 20th century."

And, then,
REM wrote their song about it.

Stupid song.

Well, I put
the lyrics in my thesis.

It's not that bad.

Are you okay?

I don't know what's happening.

[crying] Nobody understands.

The best artists
were the most misunderstood.

I'm not a fucking artist.

What-- what's the one
thing in your life
that you're most afraid of?

Dying alone, or never
having found true love.




-[Thomas] I'm not gonna say it.
-[Jackie] Just say it.

[Thomas] Fine. I promise not
to look at any other girls.
Are you happy now?

-[Jackie] Yes.
-The studio is in the middle
of nowhere. Now you say it.

-[Jackie] Say what?
-[Thomas] Say it. I got to run.

[Jackie] Okay. I won't
look at any other girls. Bye.

Bye Jackie-o.

-Are you going to hang up?
-No, I hate hanging up first.

I like hearing the click. Gives
me closure to the conversation.


¶ ¶

Mom, Dad, I'm leaving.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Not until you open this.

Dear Mr. Harrison,

Georgetown University's
Admissions Committee

is pleased to inform you
of your acceptance
into the class of 1999.

Yay, wonderful work.

[Bill] You have my legs.

You have my father's legs.
They carried us a long way.

I want to show this to the guys.

[Maureen] We'll
celebrate when you get back.


-[Thomas] Bye.
-[Maureen] Bye.

[door closing]

[Thomas] Good morning.

Yeah, doing good.
Got some sleep.

I got into Georgetown.

Nice. Congrats, man.

Parents are really happy.

What's going to happen
to the band when you go away?

If I go away.
Let's win the contest first.

What do you think
of Jerry's song?

It's a number one.


But he can't sing.

-Jeremy wants to sing the song.
-I know.

-Yo, I've been
hitting this shit.
-[Connor] No, no. I'm straight.

I know you're straight,
I want to know if you
want to hit of this marijuana.

-I'm cool.
-You're definitely not cool.

-Yo, stick it up
your ass, Cheech.
-Give me some of that.

Carefully, your dad might see
you and throw your ass in jail.

Does it look like I care?

-[Elias] It's good, right?

[Elias] Fuck yeah. All right,
let's get the fuck out of here.

That asshole, didn't put his
blinker on. I hate that shit.

In fact, I don't think there's
anything I hate more than that.

I think you should be allowed
to hit people when they don't
put their fucking blinker on.

-It makes a lot of sense.
-Put the fucking blinker on.

[Connor] Let's get on the road.

¶ ¶

[Jackie] Hey, babes.
We got to stop at the movie
theater and buy a ticket.

-My parents wants to see a stub.
-Your parents suck.

[Jackie] Who's going
to be at this party anyway?

[Abigail] You mean the party
we're going to be late to,

because we have to stop
and buy tickets for a movie
we're not gonna fucking see?

-Yeah, fashionably late?
-What do you care
who's going to be there?

-Don't you have a boyfriend?
-What boyfriend? [laughs]

¶ ¶

There's a lot
of people in there.

Word of mouth,
that's how it happens.

Maybe you shouldn't
drink before the show.

Maybe you should
shut the fuck up.

¶ ¶

All right, sounds good, boys.

[producer] I'll compress
the drums, beef up the low end.

You can crunch
the rhythm guitar a lot more
on the mix, all right?

Give me some time,
I'll set up vocals.

-Thanks man.
-[producer] No problem.

You want to
go do some vocal exercises?

Smoke cigarettes?

¶ ¶

[Connor] Fucking hell!

We really going
to start thinking about
how to sell ourselves, guys.

-Yes, right.
-Really. If we're serious
about doing this thing right,

we got to have
a signature sound.

A voice that ties all
the songs together, you know.

That means a single lead singer.

What are you guys trying to say?

-We think Elias should sing
everything, including your song.

The business side
of the band is just
as important as the music,

and it's what allows
the music to be heard, you know.

That's so wrong,
the music is all that matters.

This is standard stuff, man.

If someone writes
a song and they want to
sing it, they can sing it.

This competition, this
is our chance to get signed.

Record companies are not
looking for multiple singers,

they want that
one voice to market,
and Elias has that voice.

What about the Beatles,
someone signed them, right?

[Thomas] It's
fucking ancient history, dude.

Elias sings
most of the songs anyway.

It just makes sense
he sings all of them, right?

[Thomas] This isn't personal
man, it's just the business.

This isn't fucking
business to me, this is my life.

Elias is a better singer.

It's about time you wake
the fuck up and realize it.

Really, Thomas,
who the fuck are you to judge?

You sound like a fucking pussy.

Hey, that's enough.

No, let me finish.


You sing like someone
who tried to off himself,

but didn't have
the guts to do it right.

That's what you sound like.


[Thomas] Pull them off man, man!

Tom, relax dude.

It's your voice
that nobody wants to hear.

-Dude, what the fuck
is your problem?
-He hit me first.

He had every right to hit you
for saying that bullshit.

You want to fix another garage
band, wasting our fucking time?


I did not see that coming.

[MC] Thanks for
coming to Slave To The Grind.

Back by popular demand,

he is here to spit some
sweet love and drop some pants.

Ladies and gentlemen, Bri.Da.B.


[MC] Bri.Da.B.?

[MC] Bri.Da.B?

[MC] Here he is, everybody.


This here's off my new album
Around the Motherfucking World

which is for sale
right outside for five bones.

Why smoke the rock
when you can smoke yourself
some motherfucking Bri.Da.B.?


This here is "Pimp Tooth".


¶ They call me Pimp Tooth
They call me Sucker the Toe ¶

¶ They call me time after time
While I'm working my flow ¶

¶ They call me Eyebrow
And rugged one at that ¶

¶ They say, Chump Finger,
Give us rum and make it fat ¶

¶ They call me Lip Nose ¶

¶ They call me Fucky, the dick ¶

¶ They call me Nose Hair ¶

¶ They call me
Slick Finger Rick ¶

¶ They call Limp Note.
They call me Crusty-eyeball ¶

¶ They call me Pubic Bone ¶

¶ They call me Leggy, the Tall ¶

¶ They call me Bunny Toe ¶

¶ They call me Strand of Hair ¶

¶ They call me Licky Tongue ¶

¶ They call me
Brussel Supper Fair ¶

¶ They call me Nipple Tit ¶

¶ They call me Ass of the Shit ¶

¶ They call me Bend-a-Knee ¶

¶ But most of all ¶

¶ They call me Bri.Da.B. ¶


This next one's
called "Nigga Wack".

[loud music]

¶ The rusted bar
Inserts in pain ¶

¶ The brightest smile
You toss my way ¶

¶ It stung my eyes
Until I cried ¶

¶ Melted the bars
The devil died ¶

¶ The time has come
To take my hand ¶

[music fading]

Where do you get off using
the word "nigga" in your raps?

Sit down.
She's a big girl.
She can speak for herself.

My name is Lincoln,
after Abraham Lincoln, see it?

My mother named me that
because her great-grandparents
were slaves and he freed them.

He freed them so
they wouldn't have to
be called "nigga" no more.

Let me ask you
a question then, Lincoln.

If you're named
after a white man,

then why can't
I take on the persona
of a black man in my music?

That's two completely
different things,
and I bet you know that.

You have no idea what it means
to be a black man in America.

I love rap. If it helps me
express myself the same way
that you express yourself,

then isn't that good for both
the white and black people?

You don't understand
what that word means to us.

All right. Well, then if
rappers I listen to, stop
using "nigga" in their music,

-I'll stop using into mine.
-It's not your word.

It's not your place
to decide that.

Chill the fuck out, honky.
Grab yourself a vanilla latte.

-You just call me a honk?
-I'm a white chick. I'm
allowed to use that word, right?

You crazy ass nigga.

[Bridget] On the house.

Enjoy it.

¶ ¶

[producer] Great job, man.
You killed it.

So, what's the name of the song?

It's called "Turbulence".

You should be proud of
the song, man. It sounds great.

[Jeremy] I am proud of it. I
was proud of it when I wrote it.

I'm proud of you.

Get off your high horse.

I'm not on any horse.


I like sea horses.

I like that a male
sea horse carries the eggs,

and gives birth
to the baby sea horses.

Takes the pressure
off the female.

I'm sorry, that was stupid.

It's okay.

I want you to come
to an AA meeting with me.

I go every week, you don't
have to participate or say
anything, just sit and listen.

You know, get to know me
a little better, Stuart.

Find out that
I don't like people
telling me what the fuck to do.

I'm not telling,
I'm just asking.

Fuck off!

[Stuart] What
the hell are you doing?

Going home, Stuart.

-Hey, man.

It's funny, I had like 10 cups
of coffee today, blackest black,
and my urine is crystal clear.

Why is that? Yeah, man, I'm...

Great job today. Really though,
the drums sound tight.

-Thanks, man.

-You too.
-Thanks. All right, dude.

What the fuck is that?

[knocking and door opening]

[Maureen] Bridget?

-Would you like
to come to church?
-No, thank you.

See you later then.


-How long will you be gone for?
-Couple of hours.

-I love you, Mom.
-I love you too. See you later.


Never mind.

I quit.

¶ ¶

[Connor] He'll
come around, man. He'll
change his mind, just watch.

No, he won't.

[Connor] You okay, man?

Jackie is seeing someone else.

What? Why would you think that?

It's true,
I'm fucking embarrassed.

But you have to promise to
keep it between us, all right?

Yes, of course.

There is something
growing on my dick.

Kind of like a fungus.

Shit, man.

It's really freaking me out.

Why don't you get it like
checked at a free clinic,
or something, you know?

Can you take me?
I don't want my parents to know.

There's one on Central Av.

[teapot squealing]

-[Bill] Jesus Christ!
-[Maureen] Bridget?

Bridget, where are you?

[Bill] The kettle's boiling,
didn't you hear it?

Put that cigarette out.

Your father and I thought
we'd do a little shopping,
care to join us?

Yeah. I'd like
to get some new paint.

I think I'd like
to paint these trees.

[phone rings]

[Jackie] Hello?

I was diagnosed
with genital warts.

[Jackie] What?

I suggest you get yourself
to a clinic and get checked out.

Don't worry, they can burn them
off, but it stings like a bitch.

[Jackie] Thomas. I'm so--


¶ ¶

[Bridget's rap]

[shrieking sound]

[Bridget cries softly]

[Maureen screams]

[Ave Maria hymn]

[hymn fades out]

[on radio] Hey, everybody.
It's time to announce
the next band to place

in the top five of 102.7's
battle of the unsigned fans.

With their song "Turbulence",
it's The Latter Day Saints.

[grunge music]

-[Maureen] I wish he was here
to enjoy this.

I watched The Beatles
on The Ed Sullivan show
when I was a kid.

I was about your age.

It was the best thing
I ever saw.

They sang "Help".

John Lennon singing that song
for hundreds of teenagers
bopping up and down.

Their only worries stretching
as far as the bubblegum
they stepped in before the show.

I look back on it now
and I see this...

wounded young man,

pouring his heart out
on that stage.

His voice filled with pain.

Pleading for help, but nobody
in that audience can hear him.


It's a misunderstood song.

[Bridget] Stewart here
has been encouraging
me to attend a meeting

and however
resistant I was at first

I now see this
as an incredible opportunity.

After years of struggling

I've now made an informed
decision to take myself

off of all
prescribed medications
by my head shrinker of a doctor.

Yeah... Because you know,
it's like,

so what is the point
of living if you can't
feel a fucking thing?

[Stewart] Bridget, if
you're depressed, we can help.

No, because
you see these shrinks
they've cornered the market.

You know, they're running
circles around your average
crack dealer

and I have been their
guinea pig for far too long.

So, for today, and today only,
I present to you,

the target demographic
for such stimulants,

sedatives, and mood enhancers,

an outrageous deal

on a number of
the finest pharmaceuticals
that money can buy.

Zoloft, 100 milligrams,

good, good stuff. Any takers?

How could you let this happen?

I took precautions.

-Well, I didn't think
this was going to happen.
-To him?


I don't know if I can do this.

The only difference between
me and your brother was...
I was lucky.

My parents blame themselves
for what I did to myself.

But really...

No one knows
what anyone else feels.

You just got to keep going,

keep living your life.

All alone is all we are.

I think I owe you an apology.

That time
that you got arrested,
it may have been my fault.

Actually, it was my fault.

Oh, Well, then I guess
I owe you a thank you.

¶ ¶

-Hey, you guys are
Latter Day Saints, huh?
-That's right.

Heard your demo, "Turbulence"
is name of the song?

-I like it.

Your suits. [chuckles]
My name is Trevor Underwood.

I'm with A & R Atlantic Records.

You guys have a good sound.
Good luck, boys. We're watching.

Hey, you guys are
straight to VHS.

¶ ¶

[Trevor] Good evening, let's
please welcome to the stage

with their song "Turbulence",
The Latter Day Saints!

[audience cheers]

[audience cheers]

Do you want
to know what grunge means?

It means dirt, filth, rubbish,

something of
inferior quality, trash.

An example, he didn't
know good music from grunge.

Do you want to know
what's really grungy?

My big brother.

[Man in audience] Play a song!

He blew his brains out

with my father's gun.

And before today,
I might have told you,

if you want to stop pretending,

if you want to prove
that you're punk rock,

-if you want to prove
that you're alive...
-[Man] Right.

Then commit suicide.

-Maybe that's the only
punk rock thing left to do.
-[audience booing]

But the world has moved on
and it's ready for
something new.

Something different than
the music that meant so much
to my brother and his band.

My brother Thomas is dead.

Your saints
and your angels are dead.

Grunge is dead!

[audience booing]

I'm Bri.Da.B.

And you all
can kiss my black ass!

[audience booing]

¶ ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican
His daughter's a pig ¶

¶ I got dreads in my hair
And I walk with a limp ¶

¶ Supreme Court ain't nothing
When you live in the hood ¶

¶ The ladies want your dick
And they want your goods ¶

¶ At work Daddy puts
Thugs in jail ¶

¶ Little does he know that
I'm paying their best prize ¶

¶ Daddy dear,
Baby's doing the do ¶

¶ Better watch out
She's gonna come
in front of you ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ Don't you try to snap
A gun in my face ¶

¶ I'll hit you with my gap
And put you in your place ¶

¶ How do you like me now
All grown up ¶

¶ I play football for my dick
Don't need no cop ¶

¶ So lock me up
And throw away the key ¶

¶ I'll be hitting on
those ladies in security ¶

¶ I'll be hitting on
those ladies in security ¶

¶ I'll be hitting on
those ladies in security ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶
¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶
¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶
¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶
¶ My daddy's a Republican ¶

[audience cheers and claps]


¶ ¶