Never Goin' Back (2018) Movie Script

Jessie.

Jessie, wake up.

Hmm.

Jessie.

- Get up.

- Mmm.

What time is it?

Did I miss the alarm?

No, no, we're good, we're good.

But you have to get up now

'cause I have something

really, really awesome

to show you.

Did you draw a dick

on my face?

- Uh-huh.

- Gimme the pen!

You think you're funny?

I'm gonna draw a big, fat

juicy dick on your face.

- Where's the pen?

- Fuck off, dude!

- I have a surprise for you.

- I don't believe you.

Stay down. Right here!

Get the fuck off me, dude!

I have a surprise for you!

- I don't believe you.

- Get your butt off me.

No, it's like the best

fucking surprise ever.

- Is it a big surprise?

- The biggest.

Get off.

It's in Brandon's room.

I'm gonna kill you if you

woke me up for no reason.

No, you're gonna love me

so much, dude. Come on.

Oh, my God!

I can't believe your brother

shares a room with this guy.

I can't believe we share

a house with the two of them.

Touché.

Wow, Brandon is such a per v.

At least he watches

girl on girl, though.

Regular porn is like, so sad.

Ugh! Oh, my God!

- What?

- Is she peeing?

I don't know.

There's, like, so much.

I think so. That's a thing,

though, golden showers.

- Gross. No.

- No?

I'm not into it.

Don't ever pee on me.

I kinda actually have to pee

right now, though.

It's so far

to the bathroom, dude.

Okay! Ange, stop!

Stop, okay?

What do you wanna show me?

Okay, close your eyes.

Okay, you can open them.

Oh, that's so pretty.

Where is that?

That, my dear, is where you

will be turning 17 next week!

- What?

- Yeah.

There was a deal on Hotpons,

so I went ahead and bought it,

and we are going to Galveston

for your birthday.

Surprise!

Oh, my God!

Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God!

Look, look, look.

Here's the condo

we'll be staying at,

and it has a pool

and a hot tub.

And look, it's right

on the beach.

Holy shit, Ange.

This is so nice, but how?

I mean...

Where'd you get

the money for this?

Okay, so don't freak out.

Um, I used our rent money.

But I already talked

to Roderick,

and he gave us

almost every shift this week,

so we'll totally make enough

before we leave.

You used our rent money

for this?

A week before rent is due?

Yeah, but, dude,

we're working, okay?

So, we'll totally make it back.

I can't believe

you didn't ask me about this.

I wanted

to surprise you, dude.

Listen, Jessie.

Your 16th birthday was shit.

Okay? And you've been talking

about going to the beach

since I met you, and it's

finally happening this week.

Unless you just, like,

absolutely don't wanna go.

We still have two hours

to get a refund.

But I really don't think

we should, dude.

It's already paid for,

and we already have the shifts.

Look at this. Right?

You deserve this.

We deserve this.

- Ten shifts each?

- Straight money.

So, do you wanna go?

Okay, yes. I wanna go.

Are you sure? Because I

really want us to go.

Yes, I'm sure.

You know what?

- We deserve this.

- Uh-huh.

We work our asses off.

If we want to go to the beach,

we're go in'

to the fuckin' beach.

Let's go to the fucking beach!

- ♪ I got a reputation to uphold

- Lemme see it!

- Wait, wait, wait.

♪ I can't hold it back,

can only let it go

- Aaah!

- Dude, come on!

♪ Pick it up, pick it up

♪ You know that

it's not necessary

♪ Keep it down, keep it down now

♪ They hate our voices

when they carry

♪ You've got

a reputation to uphold

♪ What's the closest emotion?

♪ I want to explode

♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah I want to explode

♪ Oh!

♪ Just right quick while I'm changing direction

♪ Lemme settle down,

lemme ask you a question

♪ Girl, how you feel?

Don't lie

♪ Can I keep it real?

Don't lie

♪ Gonna speak my peace

before I lose control

♪ Got a reputation to uphold

♪ I thought that

you should know... ♪

Hey.

Hey there.

Girls!

Hey!

One of y'all kids

needs to mow that lawn!

Maybe you need

to mow your lawn!

The city's gonna

come down on you.

- The city's gonna cum on us?

- "Come down"!

- No, no, that's her job!

- Yeah!

Y'all are dirty, dirty girls.

♪ I want to explode

♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah I want to explode

♪ Oh!

♪ Pick it up, pick it up, yeah I want to explode

♪ Oh! ♪

Don't you wanna go say hi

to your mom?

Ha-ha.

Hey, you know,

at least she has a job.

If you're gonna go

from man to man,

you might as well

get paid for it.

True dat.

Scrambled eggs.

I want sliced tomato

instead of bacon,

an order of hash browns

with cheese and onions,

and he will have...

Get out from under there.

Do you want

a smiley-face pancake?

You better get out

from under there

or you're not getting dessert.

And he'll have

a smiley-face pancake

with whipped cream and chocolate

chips and an orange juice.

No! I want chocolate milk!

No, you're getting

an orange juice.

No!

I guess he wants

a chocolate milk.

I swear to God,

if Crystal seats me

with one more fucking toddler...

Uh, have you seen

my section of olds?

The likelihood of one of them

dying here tonight

is higher than I am now.

Speaking of--

♪ I've got your green. ♪

Meet me in the bathroom.

Ten minutes.

Wait! Hey! Hey!

Angela.

I'm not meeting him

in the bathroom again.

Who the fuck pisses

in the middle of a drug deal?

I'll go. I'll punch him in

the dick. I don't give a fuck.

Ladies. I need one of you

to take off tomorrow morning.

I may have promised

a shift to Crystal.

- No, sorry. Can't do it.

- We have to make rent money.

I know, I know.

You're on the schedule

at least 10 times.

It's only one shift. Who's

gonna be the good guy here?

Dude, she's a hostess.

She doesn't even know

how to wait tables.

At least I show up. And sober.

It's not gonna happen,

so get over it.

Okay, ladies, that's enough.

I'm sorry, Crystal.

Another time.

It's fine. I may

just come in anyway,

for when they screw you

by not showing up.

Language.

By the way, you have

three down on table eight.

You're gonna need

two boosters, asshole.

- Jessie. Jessie.

- Right this way.

Don't give me a reason to have

to call her in tomorrow, okay?

Be here in the morning.

We will.

Bitch.

I'm gonna go with Ryan

and make sure it goes down

like it is supposed to.

- Trust me, man.

- I'm trying.

But that's a lot of money

we talk in' about here.

Hey, my money's

in this shit, too.

- Yeah, and mine.

- See?

We're all in this together.

From here on out,

we're not just

a bunch of dudes

go in' in on a pound.

I feel like...

And maybe

it's too soon to say,

but I feel like y'all

are my squad.

Man. I been needing

a new squad.

We are gonna build

our squad on one thing:

- Trust.

- Oooh!

Trust. That's what

I'm talk in' 'bout, baby!

My boy!

Yeah. Trust, man.

All right. Now, go on,

have a drink, chill out.

I'll let you know

when the deed is done.

What up?

Oh, and we'll hit you up

from Ryan's phone, man.

Your boy's

almost outta minutes.

How was work?

Um...

Shitty as usual.

What was that about?

Oh, let's just say that your

big bro is about to make bank!

Me and my boys go in' in

on a pound, cheap as fuck.

Wait, what?

Dustin, come on. I thought

that you quit dealing?

What? I was waiting for

the right business opportunity.

And I gots it.

Well, be careful, okay?

Dealing's dangerous.

We're gonna bounce now. Y'all

gonna be up later? What's up?

No, we're not, 'cause we

actually have to work tomorrow.

- So keep it down.

- Sucks for y'all.

Not when we're

at the beach next week.

Do what?

What beach?

- Galveston.

- How'd y'all swing that?

It's called a J-O-B.

Gross.

- Galveston's a piece of shit.

- Fuck you!

Why don't y'all go to Destin?

It's not that much further.

Well, we don't all have

rich daddies to pay

for our bougie-ass vacations

to fuckin' Florida, okay?

- Bougie!

- Man,

how many times

I gotta tell y'all.

He don't pay

for my shit no more.

I gotta work for my allowance.

Come on, pretty boy.

What an asshole.

Your brother, too.

Fuck them all, dude.

Fuck, I'm tired, man.

What the...

- Whoa! What the fuck?

- Fucking knock!

Damn. What are y'all do in'

in here anyway?

I heard some sexy stuff

back there.

- Get the fuck out!

- I wanna ask you something.

What do you want?

I just wanted you to know,

in case you forgot,

I share a room

with your brother,

and I really don't think

you'd want him

to see something like this,

right here, on my computer.

That's not me, dude.

Why don't you

turn around and prove it?

- Eww! Get the fuck out!

- I know that's Angela's butt.

It's fit tin' to be a full moon

tonight. And every night!

It's always gonna be

a full moon in my room!

- Bye! Good-bye! Bye!

- Damn!

And you can use my computer

anytime you want,

- but please give me that back!

- No! Fuck off! No! Bye!

- Jesus.

- We live with idiots.

These need to be washed,

like, yesterday.

Well, we can leave early,

go by your favorite Laundromat.

Fuck you.

I wonder how many guys

have to worry

about their boxers

being stolen by creepy perverts

at the Laundromat?

- None, I'm sure.

- No, obviously not, and yet

this is still real-life shit

that we have to worry about

when we wanna wash

our clothes.

It's not only gross,

it's fucking expensive.

When we get our own place,

the only thing that I care about

is having a washing machine.

Uh-huh.

When you turn 18

you should just, like,

legally adopt me so we can

go ahead and move out already.

I'm like four months

older than you, you goof.

Plus, it's not like

Dustin's gonna tell anyone.

Like, you could just leave.

Probably not, but either way,

you cannot leave me alone here

with these two,

'cause I will literally die.

Jessie, I have told you,

like, a hundred times,

I'm not going anywhere

without you, okay?

When we move out,

we move out together.

Dolphies, dude.

Dolphies.

My God, we're gonna see

real dolphins soon.

Oh, I'm so excited.

Are you happy?

Happy? I'm obsessed

with this trip.

I can't stop

thinking about it.

I know. Me, too.

It's gonna be the best time.

Best birthday ever.

- Hey.

- Hmm.

Rise and shine,

little sleepyhead.

What time is it?

Time to get up for school.

I don't wanna go to school.

Well, you're in luck.

You quit school

and you work at a diner

and you get to spend

all day there.

That sounds awful, too.

It is, but...

in five days,

we're gonna be at the beach,

- so that's something.

- Hmm.

Yo!

Dustin!

- Who is that?

- Come on, fellas! Damn!

Yo, ain't nobody here, dude.

Somebody here.

Where else they gonna be?

Ain't got no damn job.

I think it's that guy

from last night.

- He's with some kid.

- Come on!

You know how suspicious

you look in' right now, dude?

I don't give a fuck

how suspicious I look!

Man,

ain't nobody home.

- Dude, where you go in' now?

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I see you! Hey, I see you!

You don't see no thin'!

What the fuck

is he doing here?

- There's shades on the window.

- Bro, I just seen somebody.

- You can't see no thin'!

- Hey! Open the door!

I'm not leavin'

without my money!

Fuck, I think he's trying

to break the door down. Go, go!

Bro, don't do it!

- What? What the...

- Where those motherfuckers at?

You broke down our door!

You gonna pay for that shit?

I ain't payin' for shit.

Dustin! Ryan!

Ryan doesn't even live here!

What are you doing, man?

I'm getting my money,

that's what!

What money? What the fuck?

Hey, yo, Dustin, man!

Who the fuck is this?

Get the fuck out of my house!

Dustin, come out

and deal with your shit, man.

You broke our fucking door!

Fuck that door.

Listen, bro, come here.

- Get the fuck out!

- Who the fuck is this kid?

Hey, listen. This is what

I need you to do. Listen.

- Get $500 worth of stuff.

- What?

You touch anything, I'm calling

the fucking police!

- Where's the phone?

- This is our shit, okay?

Dustin didn't pay

for any of this!

- That's not bad.

- Dude, I painted that!

You don't steal

someone's painting!

Don't touch

my Play Station!

- Bro, I got something.

- No!

- Let's go.

- This is my fucking TV!

I got a TV for you, bro.

Big-ass TV, too!

- Oh, there you go! Go!

- Take it!

- Hell yeah, I want this.

- Take it off my hands! Go!

Get the fuck outta here.

Thank you! Take it!

Out!

- "Beaches"!

- No!

- Yeah! Let's go, bro.

- Big fucking lottery win, huh?

Good job!

Chill! Wait, wait, wait!

Come on, bro.

Well, have fun

picking this shit up!

Let's get it. One, two, three!

Fucking call

Antique Roadshow.

We got your fucking

license plate, idiot!

Hey, You better not

call the cops!

This shit's between

me and Ryan, all right?

The cops?

No one wants that, bro!

- Thank you!

- We don't care!

No one fucking cares!

- It doesn't even fucking work!

- Bye!

Bye, have a nice day.

Thank you.

No, thank you!

- Don't fucking come back!

- Get the fuck outta here, bro!

- Fuck you!

Fuck you, guys!

Oh, God. Who called the cops?

So, this Tony person.

He's a friend of yours?

I mean, yeah,

I kinda know the guy.

- Kinda?

- We just hooked back up.

I mean, I thought we were

hitting it off.

Hittin' it off?

Are you homosexual, son?

No.

Not at all. Not that there's

anything wrong with it.

Well, is this Tony person

a homosexual?

I mean, do you have a problem

with homosexuals?

No!

Well, I sure hope not.

'Cause I'm a homosexual.

I sure hate being

discriminated against.

No, Officer, I swear.

I love homo...

...sexual s.

I'm not one,

but if I was,

I would be proud

of my gayness.

Love is love.

- How 'bout you?

- Me? No.

I mean, not that

I haven't had thoughts, sir,

but I've never acted on them.

I guess there was a thing

with Benny Brewster...

Do you know this Tony person?

Hmm? No.

Right.

So, what you're saying is

that someone you all know

came over here at 7:00 a.m.,

knocked down your door,

and stole your stuff,

and none of you know why?

Well, I mean,

call me crazy,

but by any chance, this have

anything to do with drug money?

- No.

- No one here

- does drugs, Officer.

- Mmm-mmm.

Then maybe you wouldn't mind

if we took a look around?

Assess the damages?

Ah. Well, well.

No, Officer, no one went

back there, I promise you!

Now, that is one

big piece of glass.

Now, what would

two girls like you

be do in' with such

a big piece of glass?

Ready, set, go!

Did we just tie again?

I can't believe

we tied again.

Jessie, you're so goddamn

pretty. I love your hair.

- I love your hair!

- I love my hair, too.

It smells so good.

You wanna smell it?

It smells so good!

It was such a good idea to get

that strawberry shampoo.

Yeah, we have to get more.

We still have some.

Plenty, I think.

When we run out, we have to

get strawberry again.

- You're so goddamn smart.

- You're so smart, too.

- Wanna make out?

- Yes.

Mmm.

Well, what do we have here?

♪ Lit like a bi c, pour the gasoline on me

♪ Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn

♪ Lit like a bi c,

pour the gasoline on me

♪ Let it burn, let it burn, let it burn

♪ I'ma fuck around

and play with fire, fire

♪ I'ma fuck around

and play with fire, fire

♪ I'ma fuck around

and play with fire, fire

♪ I'ma fuck around

and play with fire

♪ Got a red Ferrari

and a death wish

♪ I got a red Ferrari

and a death wish

♪ Mothafuckas know

that I'm a bad bitch ♪

Hey! Hey, the fucking phone

isn't working!

How the fuck are we supposed

to make a phone call?

Ma'am? Ma'am, excuse me.

Um, we have to call our work.

Can we please borrow your phone?

It'll just take a second.

Can you hear me?

We don't have any quarters!

There's not even a fucking

place to put the quarters!

What the fuck

is a collect call?

Asshole, dude.

Oh, my God, I'm gonna

kill my fucking brother.

Yeah, you and me both.

I told him

to stop with all this

because he's not fucking smart

enough to be a drug dealer.

- Clearly.

- Ugh! Goddamn it!

I knew we should've

returned the trip.

This is exactly the type of

thing that I was worried about.

What, that'd we'd get robbed

and go to jail for it?

No, that something would happen,

because it always does.

Jessie, this wasn't our fault.

We had nothing to do with this.

It doesn't matter

whose fault it is.

We're gonna get fired, we're not

gonna be able to pay our rent,

we're gonna get kicked out,

and I'm gonna have to live

with my fucking racist

grandparents in Arkansas.

- I just can't do it!

- Whoa, okay, okay. Relax.

Relax, dude. Sit down.

Okay.

Take a breath.

There you go.

You're all right.

Okay.

First of all,

I will kidnap you

and take you to Mexico

before I let you go to Arkansas,

so that's just not gonna happen.

Second, Roderick

loves us, dude, okay?

He's not gonna fire us for this.

He's gonna be pissed,

but he'll get over it,

he always does.

This is not a big deal.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- You're right.

- Yeah.

- It's just jail.

- It's fine.

- Yeah.

- It's not a big deal.

- No.

Shut your eyes

and get some rest, okay?

I mean, they can't keep us

in here for long,

so we will be out of here

before you know it.

What?

♪ Got a red Ferrari

and a death wish

♪ I got a red Ferrari

and a death wish

♪ Mothafuckas know

that I'm a bad bitch

♪ Got a red Ferrari

and a death wish ♪

Hold, ladies.

You're there, you're here.

Lock 'em up!

All right, ladies. Let's go.

Oh, my God, I missed you!

- What up?

- Oh, my shit!

Oh, you've gotta be

fucking kidding me, bro!

What the fuck is he

doing here, Dustin?

- Calm down. Take it easy.

- Take it easy?

We spent two days in juvie

'cause of your robbing ass!

What the fuck

are you doing here?

I'm sorry, okay?

It was a misunderstanding.

I ain't even mean to...

You didn't mean to break down

our door and fucking rob us?

Yeah, about that.

I'm sorry, man.

- Hey, that shit was stupid.

- You wanna know what's stupid?

Not being able to use the

goddamn bathroom for two days

because you're

in fucking jail!

- You didn't go yet?

- No, I told you I couldn't.

I thought you went last night.

There's no privacy

in that place.

- Dude, that's not healthy.

- No shit!

"No shit"?

I just got...

That's why you my boy.

Hell no.

You think this is funny?

We're probably fired

because of your dumb asses.

- Fuck! Gimme your phone.

- My dumb ass?

- Yeah, you!

- What did I do?

- Y'all had all the drugs.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Good day, Officer.

You're the one

whose little friend here

was yelling in our yard,

waking up our neighbors,

oh, and robbing

our goddamn house

at 7:00

in the fucking morning!

I'm sorry about that. Don't be

bringing' that shit up again.

And here I am

signing your little

teenybopper asses out of juvie,

so why don't you

ease up off your boy?

Thank you, Dustin.

Really, thank you so much.

- He's gonna see us.

- What did he say? Was he pissed?

He just said that we should

come dressed and we better have

- a damn good excuse.

- Oh, God. Thank God.

Oh, well, thank God.

Ain't that nice?

Now, can we please go, ladies?

- Yeah, let's do that, bro.

- Let's jam.

Thank you. Let's get

outta here, baby. Ooh-ooh-ooh!

♪ Y'all make me feel good

Yo, can you turn

this shit down?

♪ Take a look back there

♪ I hope that y'all

ready to ride

Yo, she's fucking

talking to you!

♪ And right now

there's no backing down

Really?

♪ This the end of the road

No Boyz II Men

♪ We way in too deep

to try and pretend

♪ This move go good

Next step I resign

♪ Full house on the river No chips left behind ♪

Yo!

Hey!

Hey, where are you going?

What's it look like?

Fittin' to get our grub on!

Oh, Dustin, come on.

Can't we just go home? Please?

You been in the slam

for two days.

You can't tell me

you ain't hungry.

I'm hungry.

We don't have time. We have to

go home and get ready for work.

We don't have to be there

for six hours.

I have to use the bathroom.

Oh, lucky you.

They got a bathroom inside.

Look. This is the least

I can do for you girls

after what y'all been through.

What, let Brandon give us

free sandwiches?

I just bailed

y'all asses out of jail.

No, you signed us

out of the juvie holding cell,

after we sat out

the cost of our tickets.

And here I am

being a good dude

and get tin' y'all

fed and stuff.

Now, come on, man.

Let's go eat.

Dude. Sandwiches.

Ah, shit! Look at these

jailbirds all up in my biz!

What the fuck

is under your hat?

Oh, yeah, my new 'do.

You like? What do you think?

- No.

- I don't know.

It's maybe an improvement.

I'm tell in' you, the '90s

are back, and I happen to be

one of the only persons

who could actually

rock this look right here.

I don't

wanna hear about this.

Yeah, you and Carrot Top.

Well, you watch.

In a month or two, everybody's

gonna be look in' like this,

but guess what.

I'll have moved on

to the next thing.

Why wait when you can

just move on now? You know?

For real, bro,

I'm getting hungry

just looking at them

curly fries.

Hook us up, man!

Hey, you're lucky my boss

is off today.

I'ma hook you up,

but next time you guys

gotta call first, okay?

Man, when isn't

your boss off, bro?

I ain't never seen that dude.

I feel like you're the manager

around this joint.

You're runnin' the shit, bro.

What? Ah, the manager.

Manager.

I'ma hook y'all up.

I'm hook in' y'all up!

What y'all want?

Feelin' better?

Did you go?

Can we please

not talk about this?

Did you?

Jessie, seriously,

this is getting ridiculous.

It's actually get tin'

a little bit dangerous.

Shut up about it, okay?

I can't go here.

I'll go at home.

So if you care so much,

hurry up

and finish eating your fucking

sandwich so we can leave.

So?

- What?

- What do you mean, "What?"

Why the fuck

was this dude robbing us?

Ah, right. You wanna...

Nah, man.

You got this one, bro.

All right. Well...

Y'all remember the night

before the robbery and all that?

Well, me and my boys

were fit tin' to go in

on a pound together,

and it did not go as planned.

Yo, are you sure

this is the right place?

Yeah, man, I got the address

right here.

Maybe we should try knocking.

All right, baby boy.

You're gonna

empty your pockets,

you're gonna

gimme all of your shit,

and then you're gonna

get the fuck off of this porch

and out of the game. Got it?

Holy shit, Dustin.

You realize

you could've been killed.

I know, dude.

It was some scary shit.

Not that I'm glad

that this happened,

but you need to stop dealing

and get a job.

For sure. I mean,

that's the plan. Right?

Mmm-h mm.

However--

It is gonna take us a minute

to get our careers go in',

so I might need to borrow

a little for rent this month.

Jesus Christ, Dustin.

How much is a little?

- All of it.

- What?

Are you serious? You used

your rent money for this?

Yo, that's how

selling works, man.

You gotta have money

to make money.

Guess what. We don't even

have our own rent money.

- So we can't help you.

- Bullshit! Uh-uh.

Y'all been working

every day this week.

I know you're roll in'. Talkin'

'bout beach trips and shit.

Beach? What beach?

I mean, just Galveston,

but still.

- Y'all can suck a dick.

- Seriously.

Dustin, I don't care

how you do it,

but you better come up

with that money by the first

or I don't even know what.

Okay? Now, will you please

take me home

so I can use

the goddamn bathroom?

Move! Move!

How hard is it to fill up

a goddamn water jug, people?

Do you wanna shower first,

or should I?

There's no fucking

toilet paper.

Here.

No.

Dustin,

you need to go to the store.

You need to replenish

the toilet paper.

Oh! You still

ain't gone doo-doo?

There's no fucking

toilet paper!

You don't need toilet paper.

Just wash your butt in

the shower. That's how I do.

I did not need to know that.

You're disgusting.

Yeah, if we had any water!

When did the water

get turned off?

- Oh, shit.

- What? Did you not pay the bill?

We already gave you

the money for this month.

Man, I forgot, dude.

- I meant to call, for real.

- Oh, God. Unbelievable.

I hate this day.

Me, too.

I just wanna take a hot shower

and put on some cozy clothes

and sleep until Monday.

I'd give almost anything

to do that right now.

I'm kinda starting

to regret buying this trip.

I'm really sorry

all this is happening.

What? Angela, hell no.

Look, all of this shit is 100 %

my brother's fault, okay?

And whatever ends up happening,

he has to deal with it.

You and I are going

on this trip,

and we're gonna see

some motherfuckin' dolphins,

smoke some

motherfuckin' ganja

and eat some motherfuckin'

dough nuts on the beach.

Okay?

- Okay.

- Okay?

Okay.

- Come on, let's go.

- No!

No, man, we don't

sell our own jeans.

We steal them first,

and then we sell those.

Where the hell are we

supposed to get $300 jeans?

No, I'm good, man.

Uh...

Nordstrom's or Neiman's.

- Neiman's?

- What?

I ain't stealing shit

out of Neiman Marcus.

All right, so you'll rob

your best friend,

but you won't steal

from a department store?

"Best friend."

Number one,

that was the first time

I ever robbed anybody,

- which I'm very sorry about.

- We cool.

Number two, look at me.

I can let y'all

borrow some clothes.

He don't get it.

Look, man,

I'm a young black man.

You could give me

an Armani suit.

If I walk into Neiman Marcus,

they're gonna automatically

think I'm stealing.

You wouldn't understand.

- Man, that ain't right.

- It ain't right.

- People need to get woke.

- Get woke.

All right. On the phone,

you said you had "ideas."

- That's one.

- Man, we steal them,

and then we sell them--

that's two.

Seriously? What the fuck

is he doing in our house?

Yo, it wasn't my fault, man.

We got robbed.

Did you know that was

his rent money?

My money got ganked

that night, too.

I'm trying to fix

this shit for all of us.

Why don't you have your daddy

send you some fucking money?

Man, I already told you.

He cut me off a long time ago.

How do y'all

not understand this shit?

How the fuck are you paying

for this juice then?

Get your hands

off my juice!

Will everybody chill

the fuck out? Please.

- Daddy got this.

- Oh, God.

Me and my boys are makin'

a plan right now, so get on!

All right, so we need

to decide on an excuse.

I was thinking, since it worked

so well last time...

No.

No. I know what you're gonna

say and I'm not doing it.

Come on. Like, a car accident

is the best excuse.

Dude, no, it's not.

I almost lost

a fucking tooth that time.

Okay. I'm ready.

No, no, no, no! Wait, wait,

wait, wait! I'm scared.

Okay, okay.

- Just take a deep breath.

- Okay.

Close your eyes, okay?

It's gonna be over

so fast. Promise.

- Okay.

- Okay?

Just don't hit my nose.

I won't.

- Promise?

- Promise.

Okay.

We got so many sympathy tips.

Because people thought we were,

like, battered women, okay?

It's not worth it.

Why do your plans always

have to require bodily harm?

They don't always.

Chicken pox?

Ugh, they're biting me!

I can't feel anything at all.

Maybe they don't like my blood.

It's on my face!

Oh, my God!

Goddamn. That was actually

by far the worst.

Really? Even worse than

drinking that milk that time?

Um, yeah. I mean, not that

I like throwing up,

but at least

it was kind of easy.

- Mmm-mmm.

- Mmm-h mm.

Roderick?

Um, I think

we have the stomach flu.

We need to go home.

You know, he wasn't even mad,

just, like, genuinely concerned.

He was kinda mad, though.

He has such a good heart,

that Roderick.

Dude, are you okay?

I'm good.

I just need a minute.

Jessie, look,

you can't hold it in forever.

Just run inside

and use their bathroom.

I can't, okay?

It's already been too long.

This is getting serious.

It's been almost three days.

Like, what if your intestines,

like, explode,

and then your whole body

is poisoned and then you die?

That's not a real thing, okay?

Dude, you are literally

full of shit right now!

I swear to God,

if you don't shut up...

You know what

you need, dude? Prunes.

Come on.

Dude, I'm serious.

There's like nothing in this

world that prunes can't fix.

That's not true.

Like, at all.

One hundred percent true.

Yes. Sample aisle.

Prunes.

I saw that,

you little thief.

What did you just call me?

I'm buying these.

Does he work here?

Hell no, he doesn't work here.

All right. Come on.

Just walk away.

Okay, let's go. Yeah?

Mmm.

No, come on.

He's not worth it.

- Fuck it. Hey!

- Wait. Don't.

Hey! Over here! Hi!

Hope you're watching to make

sure I don't steal anything.

Oh, no, that's right,

I'm buying these!

You're not buying those nuts.

That's theft!

You stand over there

and you eat and you eat.

You know who pays

for all that? Me!

And all the other people

who shop here

when they raise the prices

to cover for thieves like you!

It's called sampling.

I had like three nuts.

And your little friend here,

dressed like that.

Have some decency!

What?

Dressed like what? It's, like,

a thousand degrees outside.

Like a whore.

Like a thief and a whore.

- What did you just call us?

- You heard me.

Go home! Put some clothes on!

Whores, huh?

Okay. Probably not the kind

you like to fuck, though, right?

Not quite young enough I bet,

you fucking pedophile-looking

jizz mop per.

Fucking disgusting rent-a-cop

wanna-be,

Woody Allen-looking

dick face.

Fuck you, dude!

We are leaving now,

but only 'cause

I can't spend another second

looking at

your dumb, hideous face

and your oddly-shaped head,

which is probably

the closest thing to a penis

on your disgusting, rotting,

wilting body, you filth!

Die!

Get out of here!

Bye!

Dude! That was fucking crazy!

You're such a bad ass!

Dude, I know!

What a motherfucker! Fuck!

Fuck you!

Wait, isn't that Paul's car?

Oh, yeah.

Wait, wait, come here.

Dude, come on!

He used to do this shit to me

all the time

when he worked with us.

Me, too.

I used to fucking hate it.

Yeah.

I can't believe that old fuck

called me a whore.

Dude, I know. Motherfucker!

His poor wife. Did you see her?

She almost had a heart attack.

Yeah, I never know

if I should, like,

feel bad for women like that.

Like, why would you be

with someone so horrible?

I don't know, dude. It's sad.

When I see a couple like that,

all I can think about is that

at some point in her life,

he had a boner

and she let him put it in her.

Eww! Why is that

what you think about?

I can't help it. Wait, wait.

One, two, three.

Oh, you fucking bitches! Why?

Oh, my God! Finally!

We fucking finally got you back!

- No, that shit wasn't funny.

- I'm sorry. I love you.

Eww, no. One of y'all

smell like shit.

- It's our fucking uniforms.

- Yeah.

We have to work tonight,

but we have to go

to the Laundromat first,

because clearly

we smell like feces, so...

Wait, wait, wait. Work?

You're not hit tin' up

Art Dog's party?

Oh, shit. I forgot about that.

At his g-ma's, right?

Yes, ma'am. Day drinking

like a motherfucker!

Aaah! Eh, eh!

No, we don't have time

for that.

And we have to see

Roderick sober.

We don't have to get fucked up.

We can hang for a minute

and say hey.

Yeah. Hey!

Hey!

We have to wash

our dresses. We can't.

Just wash 'em

at Art Dog's place.

- He don't give a fuck.

- Dude, yes.

Or we could just go

to the Laundromat.

Maybe you'll see that guy

that stole your underwear.

You can ask for them back.

Or maybe you can borrow

a pair of his.

Oh, that's an option.

- Okay.

- That's my girl!

Hey, that's what

I'm talk in' about.

♪ Yeah, I got bougie

bitches in the red bottoms

♪ They got they own money

Put that Gucci on 'em

♪ She don't need a man

She just want the dick

♪ Let her work mine

She be do in' booty tricks

♪ Hunned hos in the lobby

♪ Hunned G's in the account

♪ Hunned labels on the phone

Talkin' money turn me on

♪ Hello?

♪ What's that you said?

What's that you said?

- ♪ Cut the advance?

- ♪ Ay

♪ Cut the advance,

bring me the bread

♪ I know that you wanna

have it all, have it all

♪ But you can't have it all

'cause I already got it

♪ Ah, gotta get

a new bank account

♪ 'Cause this one full,

get another one started

♪ Blogs and Instagram

and the Snap and the Twit

♪ Yeah, I was already pop pin'

And yo bitch?

♪ Hop in the whip

and she strip off the rip

- ♪ Rari so slow on the pull up

- ♪ Pull up

♪ Got the lane open,

full a commas

♪ Bling blow flash

Got that ice cuff

♪ Bag full a bands

Yeah, I need a handcuff

♪ I need it, I need it

- ♪ Rari so slow on the pull up -♪ Pull up ♪

Yo, something kinda like this.

Yo, check it out.

Go...

What y'all think?

I mean, it's, like,

a little advanced,

but I can teach y'all

an easier version

if you wanna learn.

Advanced? What?

Dude, ain't no way in hell

I'm dancing

on no corner for tips.

- That's a dumb-as-fuck idea.

- You think that shit was easy?

I mean, it was basic.

I've been taking hip-hop classes

since I was six years old,

so I'd hardly

call that shit "basic."

How many years

dance experience you got?

What? All my life.

- All his life, bro.

- You took classes?

I don't need

no bullshit classes, son.

This dude

is full of shit, D.

Oh, you think so?

Yeah, unless you show me now.

- Do I? Do you mind if I...

- Show that dude. Show him.

Okay, hold on.

Let's get this.

Uh-huh.

You wanna see some thin'?

Think about--

See, you don't even know...

- But...

- Don't worry about it.

Man, that looks...

Look at that. You see

how I get it right there?

- I don't need to. I feel it.

- That's right.

Get it right there.

No, no, you see,

you gotta get...

Yeah, get lower.

Get in the dirt.

Oh, you wanna do it like that?

Impregnate the ground.

Dumbass!

That's why you

do not need to dance.

Can't hang

with all them classes you took?

Need a refund!

It seems that

situations in our generation

♪ Makes people super cautious

of Cupid's arrow

♪ And where it's facing

♪ They love relations,

they hate relationships

♪ They love the fuckin'

but hate the commitment

♪ In our minds

love is just a game

♪ Too busy to settle down

♪ Too afraid to get played

and I feel the same

♪ Walking around with this

ice brick in my chest

♪ Ice water leaks

where my blood is

♪ And I need someone here

warm enough to melt it

♪ I feel the embrace

♪ But I'm not for sure

that it's the real shit ♪

This is a drug party.

If we don't leave now,

there's no chance

we're getting

out of here sober.

- Oh, shit!

- Angela, no.

But it's for later, dude.

Can you relax?

There's too much temptation.

I don't even trust myself.

Look, if anyone offers you

anything, just say no. Okay?

We can have fun

without getting fucked up.

- Come on.

- All right.

Mmm.

Where's he at?

- Oh!

- Yo!

Oh, damn! What's up?

- What's up, girl?

- What's up?

Good. Good seeing you two.

What y'all been up to?

Not much. But hey,

this is a weird question,

but could we use

your washing machine?

What? Like, to do laundry?

Yeah, we just have to wash

some stuff for work.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

You know

my g-ma's casa es su casa.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Oh, thank you. Thank you.

- Oh, you're welcome.

Spanish, though? Okay.

Spanish,

that's the weed talk in'.

Come on.

Man, you're gonna owe me

a dance after this, though.

- Oh, hell, yeah!

- Oh, duh.

All right, look, there you go.

It's Tweedle-Dee, Tweedle-Dum.

Oh, shit, thank you.

Just holler at me when

y'all get done, all right?

- Thank you.

- Oh, thank you so much.

Oh, my God, dude.

I've never been so excited

to do laundry in my life.

♪ Buzz me in, yo,

I got the gin and the hydro

♪ So much herb on me

I could start a cooking show

♪ So much liquor with me

thinkin' I could float a boat

♪ Ready, here we go

♪ I'ma ignite tonight,

money tell the truth

♪ So you already know

ya boy keep it lit, though

♪ Smoke like

there's no tomorrow, yeah

♪ Smoke like my time

is borrowed

♪ Uh, double that cup

get tin' double fucked up

♪ Holla at you and your friend, I'ma double my luck

♪ Sorry, Uber driver,

can't sit in the front, n ah

♪ Post in the back,

cu tie in my lap

♪ I make my own fortune,

mix my own potion

♪ If I throw a Benny,

that's a drop in the ocean

♪ Tryna make some money,

lay a bet on me

♪ Win it all, Rolies

for the whole set on me, ay

♪ Show me that green

I'ma twist it

♪ Pass me that bottle

I'ma twist it

♪ Me and the ho mies

get tin' twisted

♪ Gettin' twisted,

get tin' twisted

♪ Show me that green

I'ma twist it

♪ Pass me that bottle

I'ma twist it

♪ The whole damn room

get tin' twisted

♪ Gettin' twisted,

get tin' twisted ♪

Are they done yet?

Nope, not yet.

- Dude, I am so hungry.

- Me, too.

- Anything good?

- Just, like, old people shit.

What is this?

Chocolate biscuit, sugar free.

Ooh!

Oh, hell, yes!

What?

Yes!

Mmm.

That's so good.

What y'all do in'?

Oh, shit. Y'all done

found my secret stash.

- Yeah, we were starving.

- Is that okay?

Yeah, that's cool,

but I would only just eat one.

What?

Yeah, man, that weed butter

will fuck you up.

This sucks.

Nothing's coming up.

I can't do it.

No, me neither.

- Fuck, this sucks.

- This sucks.

Boo!

- Damn it, Paul!

- I got you bitches!

Hey!

Here.

God, these are

soaked in beer.

Paul is such a dick.

Hey, you feel

anything yet?

No, you?

Nothing.

Dude, Crystal.

She's such a bitch.

I bet you she's just like...

a really unhappy person

on the inside.

Which...

if you think about, it's...

actually kinda sad.

Yeah, it is.

Thank God we're not sad

on the inside.

No.

I'm wonderful on the inside.

Me, too.

- Yeah.

Is this seriously

how you're coming

to ask for your jobs back?

Oh, my God, are they wet?

Is that beer?

What the fuck are you doing

in your lives

that you're too busy

to dry your uniforms?

Not working,

that's for sure.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Oh, my God.

You're high as fuck.

Goddamn, it feels

good to be right.

Okay. You two stay right here,

and I'ma go get Roderick.

Oh, shit, she knows.

Dude, how did she know?

I don't know. You know

what's weird about that?

Huh?

I always think that people

know I'm high when I'm high.

But usually,

they actually don't.

But this time,

she actually did.

Whoa.

That's crazy.

Huh.

Oh, pancakes.

♪ I could hardly believe it

♪ When I heard the news today

♪ I had to come and get it straight from you

♪ They said you were leavin'

♪ Someone's swept

your heart away

♪ From the look upon your face I see it's true

♪ So tell me all about it

♪ Tell me about the plans you're makin'

♪ Oh

♪ Tell me one thing more

before I go, tell me... ♪

Roderick said he'll meet you

in his office.

And don't worry, I didn't

tell him you were stoned.

I thought it'd be

a fun surprise.

Bye.

♪ How am I supposed to live

without you?

Y'all feel in' okay?

♪ Now that I've been

lovin' you so long ♪

That beach.

I just wanna be there

so bad.

What is the deal with

screensavers like that

in a depressing place

like this?

Huh.

It just makes me wanna be here

so much less.

What they should have...

is pictures

of really sad places.

Yeah. Like...

pictures of the dentist,

coming at you with a drill.

Yes.

- Or Walmart.

- Yeah.

No.

K-Mart.

Yes.

I wonder what

Roderick's gonna say.

Me, too.

I wonder if he

believed our excuse.

No.

I did not believe you two

were kidnapped.

Or for that matter, any of

the stories you come up with.

Man, you know

I'm disappointed?

You two were

on such a good streak.

Showing up to work on time,

working hard,

doing drugs after you leave.

Just so you know...

I really was gonna give you

your jobs back today.

- Wait, really?

- Yes.

- So, we're hired back?

- No! No, you're fired.

Comin' here looking like

the goddamn

Wreck of the Hesperus,

and as high as a kite.

And even if I wanted

to hire you back,

you couldn't work like this.

If somebody from corporate

came in here and saw you,

hell, I'd get fired.

The wreck of the what?

I don't know.

But I think he knows

we're high, too.

I can hear you.

I'm literally two feet away.

You know, you two

are really something.

And I'm gonna miss

having you around here.

You're bright, funny,

entertaining as hell,

and one of the only things

about this place I don't hate.

As shitty as my job is,

and it is shitty...

I don't have

the luxury to lose it.

So, take this as a favor

from me to you.

You don't wanna

end up like me.

Go do something

with your lives.

And start by

taking a shower.

♪ He says to me,

"Loneliness is universal"

♪ "So be happy when you cry"

♪ And yet

I crave to be alone

♪ Still I can't be sure ♪

Ladies.

Ladies!

Y'all can't be

sleep in' on here.

You need to get up

off my bus.

Where are we?

The transit station.

Now, come on.

You been on here nearly

four hours,

t akin' up this seat.

- Okay. Yeah, okay.

- Let's go.

Jesus.

Is this my face?

Did I look

like this earlier?

I don't know.

I barely remember

us getting fired.

Wait.

That was real, right?

Yeah. I think so.

Ooh, unless

we're having, like,

some kind

of a dual hallucination,

which would be really cool.

Dude, if we ever

dual hallucinate,

I hope it includes, like,

unicorns or some shit,

not us getting fired.

My God.

We really got fired.

Yeah.

Dude, are you gonna use

the bathroom?

No, I can't go yet.

Dude, you should

eat something.

We should hit up Brandon

for some sammies,

figure this shit out.

Shit. We're gonna have

to tell him about this.

Yeah, man. But who knows,

maybe he can help us somehow.

Like borrow some money

from the register for a while,

or, like, ask his boss

for an advance or something.

Hey, um,

I'm tryin' to get down

to Centerville and 31st.

You think I could get

a dollar or something?

Can you help me out?

I appreciate you guys.

They, uh, tell you about

the oceans in school?

No.

They're go in' away.

All of 'em.

Shit.

- Good luck.

- Yeah, you, too, man.

Damn, I would pay more

than a dollar for that shit.

That's it.

What, you wanna gang bang

the homeless dude?

I don't really see how that

helps the situation,

- but I'm down.

- What? Dude, no. Okay.

We go to Brandon's work,

right?

We ask him to give us

the register money.

He calls the cops,

says that he got robbed,

and the three of us

split the cash.

- Jessie.

- Yeah.

Oh, my God. Dude.

I'm so proud of you,

but that is never gonna work

'cause Brandon's just

not gonna do that.

Well, we can offer him

something in return.

Like a threesome, but we

don't actually have to do it,

because he's gonna be

just as guilty as us.

It is what he wants

most in life.

Yeah.

Is that mean, though?

Like, raising his hopes up

and then just, you know,

knocking them down like that?

No, not at all,

because technically,

we're helping him

not get evicted.

Do you see what I'm saying?

He's gonna forgive us.

Yeah.

I love you right now!

Yes, let's go!

Oh, boy.

- God. You scared me.

- Here.

Here's the one

that looks like a roadkill.

Ooh, that meatball sub

looks good as fuck.

Yo, and that fool's

about to eat two of 'em!

No, man.

He gets, like, two bites

and then he goes on the chase.

You never seen Point Breakbefore, man?

Yo, what are you do in'?

What's it fuckin'

look like, Dustin?

Oh, man, come on. Again?

Always lo sin'

that goddamn phone, bro.

Hey, yo, you should hit up

your roommate.

See if he can get us

some of them sandwiches.

Oh, no. We already went today.

He ain't gonna do that twice.

Man, I'd roll up in there,

and I'll be all like,

"Bitch, you better make me

two meatball subs,

or I'll fuck your shit up!"

Be like, "Gimme

all the money, too, bitch!"

Hey, your punk-ass

ain't gonna do shit.

Look at you.

Whoa, hold up.

Wait a minute.

- That ain't a bad idea.

- Yeah.

For real.

Yo, check it out.

We rob Brandon's

sandwich shop.

There's our money!

- Dude.

- Man, y'all crazy.

I am not rob bin'

a sandwich shop.

Yo, I'll do it. Yo, I even

know a guy, he's got a gun.

Man, we don't need a gun.

Dude, it's Brandon.

We'll just go in there

with masks and shit, yelling,

that dude'll be so scared,

he'll just give us

the money, man.

Oh, man, so you don't think

he gonna recognize your voice?

Oh, shit,

that's a good point.

Yo, what about a note?

Yo, we'll just

write that shit

and then we'll pass

that shit to him.

Hell, yeah!

Oh, a mask. We need masks.

All right.

What are you thinking?

Target

and Party City...

- That shit's expensive, dude.

- Pantyhose. Your sister, man.

Pantyhose!

Dude, this is gonna be

so fuckin' easy.

Are you in on this?

Come on, dude.

Come on, I need you.

All right. All right.

I'm not in, though,

but I will help.

'Cause clearly,

just listening to y'all,

you need some guidance.

Guidance? What, from you?

- 'Cause you're so experienced?

- Got way more than you!

I took this fool's TV!

You forgot about that?

Yeah.

Which I am

terribly sorry about.

- Trust.

Oh, but let's go, baby!

Well, well, well, well.

Look at this.

Y'all comin'

for the foot-long?

Hey, I could make you

a sandwich, too. Zing!

- Uh, your boss isn't here?

- No.

I'm running the ship

solo, baby.

- As per usual.

- Wow.

I'm practically assistant

manager up in here.

Cool. That's cool.

Yeah, that's, like, super cool.

What y'all been up to today?

Just a little bit of, um...

"Please let me with you."

Uh, yeah.

Um...

That's what we were doing.

We were doing

that exact thing.

- All day.

- Oh, damn. Thought so.

- Y'all two are crazy.

- We're crazy.

Well, speaking

of that, um...

We actually have a question

we wanted to ask you.

Wait, let me guess.

Y'all decided

you're finally ready to, uh,

take a ride on the Branana?

The what?

You know. This fuckin'...

Monster boy

who's about to get unleashed.

Well, yeah. Um...

now that you mention it, yes.

Yes, maybe we do.

Maybe do...

What?

You know, wanna ride the...

Oh, um... your Branana.

- Really?

- Yeah. Mmm-h mm.

We do.

But we do need this

very, very tiny favor

from you.

- So tiny.

♪ Yeah!

♪ Live in the build in'!

♪ TeamFromNowhere,

they know who we are

♪ Finally confident, ow!

♪ I get it bumpin' like

a pregnant woman's stomach

♪ Work a beat out

like some crunches

♪ Somethin' funky's

what I'm comin' with

♪ Yeah, I be on my shit n' critics be all on my dick

♪ N' now I be on nu thin'

♪ I just be on beat

and go in' in

♪ Focusing, hoc us-pocusing,

tryna git up out the 'hood ♪

Damn. Y'all a'ight?

No, I'm fuckin' scared, bro.

Yeah, me, too.

Take a couple deep breaths.

Yeah.

Man, you're

pretty good at this.

Nah, man.

We pretty good at this, us.

We a squad.

For real?

Damn, let's go!

- Bullshit.

- What?

I don't believe you.

Y'all are saying if I give you

the register money...

We'll ride your Branana.

Okay, y'all know

that's my dick?

- Yes!

- Yes! Yes, we know, okay?

- Are you gonna do it or not?

- I mean, I would, but...

methinks y'all

are full of shit.

Okay. Well, um, how about,

we show you our boobs now

as a teaser,

just to show you

that we're not fucking around.

I wanna touch 'em.

Okay. You can cup one boob,

over the shirt, no squeezing.

One boob each,

or one boob total?

One each. But that's it

until after we get the money.

I wanna see

y'all make-out, too.

- No!

- No! Dude!

You do it all the time

in your room.

I hear you!

Okay, um...

Well...

Well, if you, um...

do this very, very

tiny favor for us, then,

all that stuff that you hear...

you can join in.

Okay. I mean, yeah...

that's tight. Yeah.

Yeah? Oh, cool.

Yeah, I could maybe

make some arrangements.

Stay there.

I'm staying.

I ain't movin'.

- I didn't know we were...

- No, shh.

Holy shit!

Oh, my God! Oh, shit!

There's a robbery!

This is a fucking robbery!

God, I do not wanna die!

Please do not shoot me!

- Robbery?

- Oh, shit! Shit!

Oh, my God!

Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Bring it down, bring it down.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Uh... Phone, yes! Yes.

It's an old-ass phone. I mean,

I don't even know if it's...

Yes, you, you got it.

Sorry.

You got what you

came for. Please.

The money!

Shit, obviously.

I've never fucking

done this shit. It's crazy.

The fucking register!

Of course!

I was, like,

are you robbing' me?

I didn't even know!

Movin' along,

movin' along! I got you.

This is real right here! Um...

Uh, do you have a bag?

Do you have, like,

a robber's bag

to put the cash into?

Just put it in foil or

a doggie bag, butthole!

- Yes, sir! Oh, shit! Okay.

- Dustin?

- Which one?

- Foil, man!

What the fuck?

Dustin? Ryan?

Dustin, you dumb-ass,

it's obviously you!

Take that shit

off your head!

That's clearly

your fucking finger,

so you can

put that shit down!

Ryan, quit it, dude!

We can tell it's you,

obviously, with these

stupid fucking masks!

Is this shit mine?

You son of a bitch!

What the fuck?

- What the fuck?

- Sorry, dude.

Sorry?

Y'all just tried to rob me!

That is not cool!

Hey, you're lucky we didn't call

the cops on you dumb asses!

So this was your

plan for rent, huh?

Rob a goddamn store?

- Rent?

- What if someone had seen you?

You realize

you could've been shot!

Man, that wouldn't

have happened.

Really? 'Cause

it already happened

one fucking time this week!

That was different, yo! I was

trying to start a business.

You were trying

to be a drug dealer!

99 percent of drug dealing

is getting robbed at gunpoint.

Have you never

seen Goodfellas?

- Blow.

- Scarface.

- Even Boogie Nights.

- What?

- The end.

- Oh, yeah, yeah,

the end with the crazy dude

and the firecrackers.

Drug dealing

is not a business, Dustin.

It's idiotic and it clearly

never turns out well for you.

Hey, y'all do in'

all right in here?

It look like things didn't go

as planned.

Uh, yeah, we gonna go ahead

and get outta here

and, um, no hard feelings,

right? Yeah?

All right, cool.

Y'all have a good night.

Be safe, it's dangerous and...

Look...

Brandon,

I am so sorry, like...

Yeah.

I know he's my brother, but we

had nothing to do with this.

What was that about rent?

Does he not have it?

Actually, um...

- None of us do.

- What? I'm your roommate!

Why wouldn't you

tell me that?

Yeah, that's what

we were trying to do

with the register money.

Which is still a good idea,

by the way.

You said you needed bikinis,

not rent money.

There's not enough in there

to cover it.

- How much is there?

- I don't know, like $50.

I did the safe drop

Before you guys got in here.

Dude, what kind

of broke-ass bikinis

did you think

we were gonna buy?

- Wait, safe? What safe?

- I don't know!

The safe down there.

I don't have a key.

Okay, well then,

we can just

take the whole thing

and bust it open later.

It's bolted down!

None of this

is gonna happen, okay?

- Nothing's gonna work.

- Damn it, dude!

- What are you gonna do?

- I don't know. I guess,

- find a new place to live.

- Shit!

Can we at least have a fucking

sandwich? I'm hungry.

- Show me your tit ties.

- Brandon!

Fuck you.

You can make a sandwich,

just don't make a mess.

- I just cleaned up over there.

- Titties, my ass!

Come on.

Eat up.

Might be a while before

we can afford food again.

Hey, Brandon,

I think someone's coming.

Oh, shit!

Shit! Go, go hide!

You gotta hide,

that's my boss!

- Now, go on, go! Go, go!

- Dude, what the fuck?

What are you

still doing here?

- Oh!

- Oh, my God! Dude.

- What?

- Look.

Get your horny little ass

outta here. I'll shut it down.

Holy shit!

That motherfucker.

That shithead

is Brandon's boss.

Yo, poor Brandon.

I don't mind

staying and closing,

if it's okay with you, sir.

As a matter of fact,

it's not okay with me.

I need to get some work done,

and I prefer to do it alone.

Okay. I'll just finish

with the floors then.

The floors look good.

You can go.

- But I...

- I said go.

Uh...

Yes, sir.

You can put the broom

away first, Brandon.

Of course.

The broom

that goes in the closet.

The broom closet.

Dude.

- I almost had a heart attack.

- Shut up.

- See ya, sir.

- Bye. Good-bye.

Enough chatting. Good-bye.

He just

locked the door.

- We're trapped in here.

- Dude, relax.

Here.

What are you doing?

You're so stupid.

Dude, what time does

Brandon's shift start?

Oh, my God,

we're so fucked.

How long is he gonna be here?

What the fuck is he doing?

Dude, go check.

Oh, my God!

- Oh, my fucking God! Dude!

- What?

Look at that shit!

And he called us whores!

Oh, my God!

Yo!

I always said

it was the judgy ones that

end up being the perverts.

- Didn't I?

- Yeah.

That is so fucked up.

Did you see that shit?

I can't.

Are you okay? What?

No, it's just a cramp.

I'm fine.

- Are you sure?

- Yep.

Oh, my God.

Dude!

- I'm fine, okay? It's fine.

- No, dude, you're not fine.

It's happening?

Dude, is it happening?

No!

Oh, God, maybe!

I don't know!

Dude, it is! The sandwiches,

dude! It was the sandwiches!

Oh, God,

it was the sandwiches!

It's coming!

It's coming right now!

No, dude,

run to the bathroom.

You'll make it

if you run, dude.

I'm not gonna make it.

I have to just let it flow.

- No! No!

- I have to just let it flow.

I will not let you be someone

who shits your pants

in a broom closet okay?

Unbutton your pants.

- No! Are you crazy?

- Do it!

- No, no, no!

- You have to. You have to.

Go, go, go!

♪ I'm standing

on the edge of time

♪ I've walked away

when love was mine

♪ Caught up in a world

of uphill climb in'

♪ The tears are in my mind

♪ Nothing is rhyming

Oh, Mandy...

Oh, God,

it won't stop coming out.

- I'm gonna throw up.

- Close that door!

- I can't!

- It's gonna smell up

the whole fucking place!

Close that door right now!

♪ And you kissed me

and stopped me from shaking

♪ And I need you today

Oh, Mandy

♪ You came and you gave

without taking

What's going on here?

Hey, who's in there?

♪ Oh, Mandy

♪ You kissed me

and stopped me from shaking

♪ And I need you... ♪

Oh, my God, dude.

I killed him.

Dude, I puked him to death.

Uh...

No, he's okay.

He's just knocked out.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Okay, shit,

we gotta

get out of here, like, now.

We need to go.

- Fuck! The keys!

- Keys! Keys!

- Shit!

- I got 'em.

Body!

Yo!

Dude.

I have a feeling these aren't

his wife's tit ties.

Nope.

How illegal is blackmail?

Like medium, I think?

Okay, so I... think when we

get outta here, we should...

leave town for a little while

just to be safe.

Yeah.

Like...

- tonight? Yeah.

- Yeah. Just to be safe.

What do you think?

Oh, I think, um...

I think the sooner,

the better.

Come on!

This one.

Gimme the bag.

Okay. Here.

This one.

Okay, close, close.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ When the lights go down

♪ And you pull me close

♪ You make me

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ When the lights go down

♪ My world explodes

♪ Pull me on, pull me on

♪ Got my heart

between your fingers

♪ I'm holding on,

holding on

♪ 'Cause it's hard

watching you leave hurts

♪ And in this moment

♪ We're all together

♪ Throwing caution to the wind

♪ And then the lights

begin to glow

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ When the lights go down

♪ And you pull me close

♪ You make me...

Oh, my God, dude!

I've never seen this much

money in my whole life.

Me neither.

♪ My world explodes ♪

Mmm, I think we have

enough money

to cover all of rent

this month.

Yeah, I think so.

More than enough.

Dustin's gonna freak

when he wakes up

and realizes we're gone.

That's true. He is, but...

He'll settle down when he sees

all the money.

I think I'll leave him a note

or something,

tell him where we're going.

Oh, my God.

Where are we going?

Anywhere we want.

What about Florida?

Or no,

let's go to California.

- Oh, my God, yes.

- Yeah?

I've always wanted to go

to California.

Like, see all the mountains

and the surfers.

- Venice Beach.

- Oh!

Venice Beach sounds so cool.

Mmm.

I won't wanna come back.

We can get a room to rent.

We have so much money,

no one's gonna care

we're underage.

We could get, like,

a job at one of those cute

little shops by the beach.

Mmm-h mm.

- I'm gonna buy a surfboard...

- Mmm.

And a bikini, day one.

Yes.

And I don't know,

we could go out to eat

at, like,

a really nice restaurant.

Mmm-h mm.

Like, something

overlooking the water.

Yeah. Oh.

And we could, like, spend

the night on the beach,

looking at the stars...

listening to the waves.

- And dolphins.

- Mmm.

Ange, we're gonna see

real dolphins.

We're not just

gonna see dolphins,

we're gonna swim with them

in the ocean every day.

We'll pretty much

be dolphins.

I'm so excited.

Mmm.

Dolphies, dude.

Dolphies.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ When the lights go down

♪ And you pull me close

♪ You make me

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ When the lights go down

♪ My world explodes

♪ Pull me on, pull me on

♪ Got my heart

between your fingers

♪ I'm holding on, holding on 'cause it's hard

♪ Watching you leave hurts

♪ And in this moment

♪ We're all together

♪ Throwing caution to the wind

♪ And then the lights

begin to glow

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ When the lights go down

♪ And you pull me close

♪ You make me

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ When the lights go down

♪ My world explodes

♪ Carry on the words I say

♪ With the weight

of ending days

♪ Watch them pushing you away, away, away

♪ And through all of my mistakes

♪ And the plans in which we made

♪ I'll remember anyway