Necktie Youth (2015) - full transcript

Hey...

um...

It's... um... it's me again.

Uh... I've been trying to call you all morning...

Um...

I really just need to see you for a bit, I think... I...

I'm feeling really tired of everything all of a sudden and

I can't fucking breathe or sleep or eat much and

they've got me on... on pills now
and mom's researching all these clinics online...

you know talking about how maybe this isn't a good
environment for me anymore... or whatever... I don't know...

So... I'm feeling...



I'm feeling really...

I'm feeling really fucked up

and...

yeah um...

I just don't know what would be the... the thing to do.

Remember when we talked about how...

how... how it must be to drift above things...

above everything. Just be far, far up, looking down and

air moving and...

and light...

Suppose you're busy or sleeping or out or whatever so...

If you... if you get this call me
if you want to, or don't... your call.

But yeah...

if not, then...



Yeah... see you around...

alright bye.

Yes.

No no no no

You're completely wrong on that side.

I specifically remember telling you... that... yes...

No no no, we've been... I told you before we
even got close to signing on this contract, Lionel

Well that's because you should listen to me more often.

Right.

Sweetie, come help mommy please.

Yeah and there's not... There's nothing we can lose on it.

Mom... Mommy... Mom...

Jenny please, I'm on the phone.

Hey man, hurry up, something is going wrong!

Eish madam

Go ask for help...

Boss!

It's a very important contract.

Take this, take this chair, get on it and cut it off.

Hurry up!

Hurry up man.

Hold her here.

Hold her, hold her.

On the 16th of June, 2013

Emily turned out the lights and

set her mother's house on fire.

This is what Joburg looked like

June 25, 2014.

Doesn't look like much.

And it appears so 'cause it isn't.

Suppose it might be hard to figure now but

it used to be real, real nice around here.

Maybe not in a lot of ways but

the photographs used to look better than these.

Every now and then

you'll find some old folk

and they'll say

Yahsis, my laaitie, huh?

You know, when I was your age, Hillbrow

That was where it was.

All the girls there...
pretty... standing outside the clubs at night.

In those times my laaitie, men were men.

Sophiatown and the sound of jazz
sitting on the night like new perfume....

Woah man...

Joburg must have been a sight in the 80's.

They'll say things like

"It never used to be like this."

And what good is that doing anyone now?

You know all our lives Joburg's been really shitty

and no one from our side of town ever goes there.

It's no wonder

Joburg's shit.

This is the northern suburbs.

Me and my friends live here.

And I suppose somewhere that counts for something.

And things been pretty good
since they did away with that... that whole apartheid shit.

That's a good one to mention for the undecided tourist.

You know, I think it was...

grade four...

Yeah, it was grade four...

I remember this teacher got everyone involved in this

compulsory raffle drive.

I think it was for this
underprivileged school somewhere in

like an ultra fucked up part of Africa.

They show you these pictures and these kids look hungry.

And they look like they really want to learn.

So, we go out and we take these tickets home.

Start selling these tickets
and you start selling these tickets,

and you start selling these tickets
and you start selling these tickets

and you're making a fucking killing 'cause

now they made sure the tickets are real cheap.

A week or so into it,

it's you, a mess ton of like loose change,

and you're rich as fuck kid.

Now, I mean like, you're this kid,

who knows shit about anything

with a handfull of these sad pictures
of black kids you've never met in your life

and you're trying to get your sales done right?

So...

so on the last day we all,
we all sat down with our tins of coins and ticket stubs and...

I'll never shake this man...
Sitting next to me was this kid Gerald,

and he looks at the teacher with this
overwhelming conviction about him and he's like

and he literally says to her

"My folks think it's not good to give money to people
who haven't worked an honest day's job in their lives..."

"Nothing is free in life..."

"and we shouldn't be responsible for everybody."

Now the only reason I bring that up is

'cause I think that's how...
Well that could sum up how most people think in my city...

about most things...

in one way or another.

People don't really want to help each other out.

It's that simple.

Ag man, these politicians are messing us around.

Every two days there is always something,
if it's not Malema then it's this Zuma.

It's just scandal after scandal after scandal.

And this side it's Nkandla.

Look now, here's another madness.

This side others are forming alliances
and you can't figure out what's happening.

They want to fight, these people.

I'm telling you, it's a totally different type of politics.

You can't figure out what's happening.

It's like these people
want to be entertainers instead of running a country.

It's like that, it's like that, my love.

You cannot expect everyone to be like Mandela.

There was only one
Mandela and even him, it was just sheer luck.

Hey...

You there?

Yo, what's good man?

This fucking nigga.

Where the fuck have you been man?

I've been trying to...

I've been trying to holler at you the past like

seven fucking days man

you fucking fall off or what?

Fucking... Tupuc's ghost... hologram lifestyles G.

Nah I'm around man

I'm at my mom's place taking it easy...

You're... you're not serious about your trick game at all...

I ain't even about that life right now, son.

I've been trying to chill out...

You know, take it easy figure out what's
going on with uni next year or whatever, you know?

Last night... I'm on my basic, every night casual flex

and I got this girl, fucking Rafi, and she's getting at me like

"Hey, you're super close friends with Jabz, right?"

And you're holding your mom's
fucking hand like it's a grade six picnic

- Are you joking?
- That's fucked up

Yeah she's... she's definitely
one of the like baddest tricks around since...

since she been fucking around
with Matty Hartford she's been like wilding non-stop

I'd be... I'd be more than
happy to fine dine the bitch myself

if my dad didn't have
me on this fucking gay-ass cut off...

I don't know man.
You know you stupid as fuck for that one though right?

Like constantly wilding out,
acting like a god damn fucking idiot.

Dude, I think it's a miracle your parents
haven't sent you back to motherfucking Natal.

Go raise cattle and kill cattle
with your uncles and shit man.

And fucking... it's a possibility the way you
going on acting like you got no parents and shit.

Apparently... apparently the story there is that...

you know

she... she was doing like heroin and shit with Matty

since she was like fourteen or whatever

so she didn't get those like sex hormones that girls get

when they are like fifteen or whatever
so now it's like a case of genuine like...

six years build up of that shit

and she... she has to fuck.

What do you mean, has to?
That makes no sense at all dude.

Dude, I don't know how that shit works.

You know what I mean,
I don't know how it works. It's like...

Bogosi was...

Bogosi was trying to throw me up
on that knowledge and he did... he did like Matric biology...

so I'm... I'm just, I'm trusting a nigga.

Well speaking of...

are we getting faded today or what?

We're over at the park.

So I don't know what your flex is all about.
I mean, if you're swinging by

and you want to pick me up, but
I ain't got no dollar bills, you know...

So if we can maybe organize some kind of... um...

Alright I'll organise.

Sorry, I haven't done anything like this before, um...

Where must I... do I look at you?

That's fine... um...

You just speak directly
to me as if we having a conversation.

Yeah I... I knew Emily as well as anyone
in our group did or... um... could have known her.

We've been...

I mean, we had been friends
since the start of school and everything and...

Yeah... Me, her and Tanya would hang out a lot
at parties on the weekends and whatever, um... but....

uh...

um, but other than that...

ah... ja, now, now it seems
like I didn't know so much about her, um...

Ja, I don't... I don't think any of us really did...

May... Maybe Jabz? Ah...

But... um...

fuck... um...

Ja, no, I...

I wish I knew her a lot
better than just goofing around, um...

Ja, and it's, it's strange because since she did it...

I kind of feel like I do somehow.

So you weren't intimate?

You think I can borrow the car for a bit?

Got to go see my ma...

Christ she's been acting
super fucking weird the past couple of weeks.

Talking like

super desperate all the time.

Giving me this massive guilt trip of...

"Oh, you never want to come home anymore."

"I'm at home all day and night, alone now."

"Your brothers never want to come home."

"You're out in the city doing god knows what."

So I'm going to breakfast with her quick.

I have to show her she's loved by someone.

I reckon in her case it would be less
of a fucking bother to not be around anymore

as fucked up as that is to say about someone.

How do you figure that?

She just wants you
guys to come over once in a while.

Your mom's just at that age you know.

Everything's moving on.

You guys are getting older.

Mothers get that way.

She cooked for you everyday of her life.

What's going to make her
happy though? Like at this point.

I mean Rob's been out
the house since I was in highshool.

Tony's married now.
Lives in fucking Cape Town, like...

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm convinced people have a time in the world.

Yeah? And what time is that?

Like my mom, right?

She's been wasting away since my dad died.

Not in the way that anyone who didn't
know her would notice but slowly over time...

just becoming less her.

Less magical.

Less interested in the world.

She hardly wants to
go out anymore, or make herself pretty

and it's 'cause he's gone.

I wonder...

If she knew that my dad
was that time in the world for her

and that afterwards
nothing would matter as much

maybe she would have gone when he went
and saved herself the sadness and heartaches.

I don't reckon that...

I don't reckon... anyone ever sees it...

or look at it like that...

ever.

When shit's really sour
and you've lost your job or something

then for the first time people look
at life and death and there's something to consider.

But most people

most people are optimistic.

What?

Everyone thinks good shit's going to happen eventually.

Which isn't the worst thing, I mean...

otherwise we'd all just quit our jobs
and throw ourselves out a window.

We couldn't live like that.

Life would be too short.

Sure...

but a lot more honest.

You mean...

you think...

she thought about it like that?

I think she wanted everyone
to know that things aren't like they should be.

Fucking live stream, you know...

It's brutal.

Ten million people saw that.

She didn't want it to be nothing.

It means something right?

Just a sad kid.

This time it's done.

Ja, but why? You know how many bitches you fucked?

And then everytime it's
a different excuse about what's wrong with her...

I'm needy. She's so clingy. Whatever, come on.

Ja dude, but you know, she's fucked!

Like, I mean, like, she's proper

proper fucked, you know?

Like completely fucked.

- What kind of fucked though?
- Dude, I mean, you know like... I wish...

Dude, I mean, you know
it's the same shit, like every three days...

just, one second it's on, then it's off

you know, then she's fighting with her mom...

Where do you find these bitches?

- Ja, I don't even know, dude...
- Fucking Oxford road or something?

Nah dude, good family,
that's the fucked up thing, you know?

Like her mom is just like one
of those prescription pill fiends, dude.

Every time I check the bitch, she's fucking zoning out...

You know the first time
that we actually like sitting in bed together

fucking staying up the whole night, telling me
stories about how her mom is so fucking depressed

and the whole time
she's gonna tell her dad she's gonna kill herself

until one night, fucking they call the doctors
and send the bitch straight to the looney house dude.

Now she's there, bitch is full of pills

and you know like, and then daddy just fucking

don't even get me started on her dad...

What's up with him?

I mean, I just don't even know if he's like
purposely ignorant or just like dumb as fuck.

Some people are born dumber than others.

- Dude this guy was born blind and just got worse...
- How does he not know that all this shit is going on?

He doesn't know anything,
like he just gives her cash, you know

and I'm not talking small change,
I'm talking like seven, eight K a week.

- What the fuck does she do with that?
- For what?

You know, and so like... petrol card,

fridge stacked, her own house and shit, her own car

living the dream, guys there week after week after week

- just basically fucking the life out of daddy's little girl
- Shotgun! Next time, next time.

Ja bro, get in line dude

Sign me up

Speaking of lines bro... And then

you know, fucking you know... I guess...

I guess I'm just tired
of this larney girl bullshit, you know like...

cry fucking cry, boo hoo, my best friend
won't talk to me for a week shit dude

I mean there's far too much
rape and murder on the streets to worry about...

some dumb little girl's
bullshit, just to get some pussy bro

Forget it!

Fuck it Matty, I feel you.

- Ja, straight dude
- You gotta walk away bro

Walked dude, walked.
Crawled nevermind... tail between legs

- Fucking
- Walk your way through this guy bro

This nose was made for walking

So what's the flex?

So, man, you remember after Emily staying with
my parents for wilding out all fucking crazy and shit?

Yeah yeah

And they sent me to that Crescent place?

- Yeah
- Word. Like...

they put you up in this fancy-ass like hospital room

Yo

- With a lounge
- What?

motherfucking coffee shop nigga

- Jesus
- Motherfucking big screen, like...

like big-ass screen, like...

chandeliers in your face...

Jesus, that's some fucking glimmer lifestyles my nigga.

Dawg, you just watch these doctors make
these pills that keep you high the whole day, finish.

And like ever since then man, I got this shit on script.

- What?
- Yip

So, Tanya went to rehab as well?

Um... I don't know man

I don't think it was like a
rehab rehab for drugs and shit

but I know that...

you know, her parents sent her away
for some like wrist slitting shit or whatever.

Yeah man, like everyone was just on some

some panicky shit the past two years dude.

Like after Emily's thing?

Yeah dude, I don't know.

So yeah, home girl
needed to mellow out and whatever

and that's fucking the craziest thing like
she almost failed school 'cause of that shit.

Let me get something dawg.

Alright, I'm going to be in the back here.

- Hello
- Mr Mtethwa... How you doing?

I'm good, and you?

Great man, what can we do for you today?

Um... I'd like to fill up on my Ativan script.

So if I can get like, what, 15... 10 Zopidem.

No luck with the sleep hey?

Nah

- Okay, let's see...
- Not at all.

How's your old man doing?

Nah, he's cool

Yeah, he's cool

There we go.

- Cool
- Have a good one

Thanks.

It's like a...

dark skinned Tom Cruise

What's in your pocket?

- Yo what?
- Yo dude

- What's in your pocket? Come here.
- What are you... What are you doing?

My brother, I have to quickly search you.

Wait. You think, you think we came here to steal my man?

You think we came here to steal?

- Themba, what's the problem there?
- No boss, there is no problem here.

I just want to quickly search these boys before exit.

No no no no, it's okay, it's okay...

Don't you remember Jabulani?

- Mr Mtembu's son
- Yes, sorry boss.

I'm just trying to keep this place sharp.

Listen to your boss, brother.

- Sorry boss.
- It's okay, it's okay Themba. It's okay.

- Fuck man.
- It's all class. You got these...

you got these miserable ass niggas
who come from the kasi here to work every day

and the last thing they wanna fucking see

is two maybe jiggy, maybe
wavy-looking heroes such as you and I doing best.

You know what I mean? And the
thing is I don't understand why everyone's crying.

I don't understand.

'Cause like their life... their life is their life...
It's still hard, I gotta, I gotta maintain...

I gotta maintain my swag

Dawg

I gotta maintain

my, my ho game

- Yeah man
- You know what I mean? I gotta maintain this.

Every day.

Every day I'm doing this.

You know what I mean?

And the thing is that it ain't even...

- Thank you is it, is it... is it out of check?
- Word

The thing is that... it's not even like a white black
thing anymore, you know what I mean? It's like...

We're all black. So I don't understand why everyone has
to, you know, be out here trying to kafferise the situation.

What?

Sometimes you just say things.

Kaffarise?

What the fuck is that?

I think I just made 'kaffer' a verb

Yeah

Can't believe I just made 'kaffer' a verb

I think you fucking did

- Jesus
- Boy, nigga... nigga

Did you... are those... Did you steal that shit?

Nigga

Fuck, don't you have medical aid?

Fuck those guys man

Jesus, you gotta stop
with the fucking kleptomania shit...

Fuck them

God damn

Should've warn a vest or some shit.

It's that vest weather.

Jesus, how many of
those things you gonna fucking take man?

Dude the guideline says you can have like four

so if you double that shit

you can take like, eight to ten, should be fine

What do you mean fucking double it?

If the guideline... the guidline's like the maximum.
You can't just now... dude and this is like...

this ain't some children's shit, you know what I mean...

It's codeine type shit man

I think it's like four if you have cancer
or some shit, you can't just now say, well the...

the maximum says you should
take four therefore you should take eight.

- There's no fucking logic in that man...
- Well dude, I did a whole pack of these and...

I passed out on my mom's couch
for like, six fucking hours dude

That's exactly what I'm fucking talking...
Dude, that shit's, that's, that's fucking insane...

that's insane fucking behaviour my nigga

But what's insane is how
they sell this shit over the fucking counter

Don't blame the medical
companies for this shit my nigga.

They've had a very clear 'take fucking four'

'take fucking four maximum.'

You going to go and take ten
and wake up like fucking four days later

that's on you my nigga That's...
that's totally... Don't blame anyone for that.

I'm pretty sure you can fucking die from that.

Well it... says 'Respiratory failure' so I'm sure you can

Dude it says that on the fucking... Oh my god

on the... on the bottle. You can definitely die from that.

- Yeah, if you take like...
- Geez, dude, that's now, how many is that?

How many...

- Fifteen? Sixteen?
- Dude... dude

All I'm saying is that your mother
mustn't now call my house when you...

can't even breathe
and you sleeping this time and you driving...

I don't want to hear any shit.

Yes you can die from this shit September.

Don't September me like this is a fucking joke...
I'm gonna... I'm gonna be a ghost in three seconds

you know what I mean?

Let's go my nigga.

The world was a real special place when we were little.

1995.

Her house...

with more empty spaces around it
'cause they hadn't built the new city then.

There's never a time more beautiful.

There was a bigger love floating around.

The country was so new...

and so was life for us.

Everyone seemed so full of sentiment.

Could have been the rainbow though,

the possibility the whole
country saw after the end of terror.

I don't know...

When great stuff happens,

I guess people believing they could be
whatever they always knew they were supposed to be...

But that never lasts.

People just go back to going backwards...

eventually, and things turn to shit.

With us, I suppose, it was like we...

watched everything get less hopeful for everyone.

Growing up is traumatic sometimes.

I'm telling you, this alcohol that I'm drinking woman...

You don't drink alcohol,
you are so beautiful. You are destroying yourself.

Men are problems! My man left me,
moved out of the house and left me like that.

- I would rather stay without a man.
- Keep quiet baby girl.

She's naughty, this one.

What is she looking at up there?

Can we please just...

take it kind of slow?

We can take it as slow as you want baby.

I'm not...

I mean, I don't want you to do anything...

that you don't want to do.

Hey?

Hey

I fucking love you.

You know that right?

I know.

Come here.

- Fuck.
- What?

What?

Fuck.

Mom

Sorry, mom... I can't hear you, the line is bad.

- Hi? Ah, okay, that's better.
- What the fuck?

Hi mom. How's it going?

No, it's alright.

Yes mom, I'll be home about six o'clock.

No mom. I promise I won't drink, I have my car.

Yes, I filled it up this morning.

Okay... Yes, I love you too mom.

Okay... Bye.

How's it gents?

What's up gents?

Hey gents, how's it going,
how's it going gents? What's up?

Can we go inside?

Sure.

Ah, you'll see.

Gents.

Heita, heita

You know what bro?

There's one thing that is upsetting...

You know what bro? Just let them be right.

These boys... they walk around Jozi...

thinking that they own it.

- You know what, you talking the truth.
- You see what I'm talking about.

This is what I was just saying to you.

Its true.

My man, as I was saying,
last week I was going to town with my mother,

I just bump into this white girl,

and she just swears at us, "Voertsek!" "Voertsek!"

"You don't belong here!"

I was there by Sandton,

then I see a guy driving a beautiful car.

And he's racing and accelerated at a green robot.

And then there's this lady on my side busy complaining...

then I'm like "Howzit?" and do you know what she said?

"If only I can get a job."

A job?

Stop fooling us around, stop fooling us around.

A white person? Stop fooling us around.

You know what she said? She's there like,

"Oh no, now all the brownies are taking over."

Brownies?

Brownies, my man.

Eh, wena.

Ja my man.

Then you know what I said?

I looked her straight in the eyes and said,

go tell that uncle Steve of yours to go sell his Porsche.

Tell me and come back and see if I actually give a shit.

I guess it's hard to say if someone
was acting weird if no one was really paying attention.

We live in Sandton. You know?

Everything is...

nice.

It's hard to explain.

It's like, um... there was a girl at my church...

and everyone was always saying how good she was

and how perfect her faith was.

She never made any mistakes.

So, last year she overdosed on some drugs

and everyone was so shocked.

Everyone was looking at what they wanted to see.

And who doesn't do that, you know?

No one really looks at anyone until something happens.

Do you think no one cared about Emily?

No.

Just that people don't really pay
attention to what's happening to the guy next door.

Everyone's living their own lives.

Most people want to
eat their Woolworths and be left alone.

Most people don't have those demons.

You and Emily were friends right?

Do you think suicide is a sin?

Sometimes I think...

people get lonely...

'cause of how the world works.

You look at a kid and...

yeah, and there's
nothing there but love, you know what I mean?

But something happens to people and

and then they forget how to give like that.

And that's the saddest thing in the world.

How do people stay happy then?

Like I mean, not... not everyone's miserable.

Jabz!

Dawg. Are you zoning out
or what the fuck my nigga? Keep your eyes...

keep your eyes where they need to be my nigga.

You can't just be fucking

on some chills man.

So anyway...

so, last Friday right, I go out to like Hatfield right...

I'm having a good time...

So, we roll up there...

there's these other girls, like three or four of them

this one fucking chick

ah... like Charlene or some shit

one of those super Afrikaans-type names right?

steps into the fucking front seat
smelling like god damn cocoa butter

like got an ass like you've
only fucking seen in a god damn dream,

you know what I mean?

So, after a while, you know,

drop her off, give her my number...

we flexing, we flexing, we flexing.

She's mad on those text messages.

Then it's like on the watsapp, you know,
and that shit's fucking popping off like crazy like...

five minutes ago...

one minute ago...

Now.

- Right now. Just now.
- Right now. Just now. Exactly.

So I take her out...

You know, we go out to this really nice club,
we go out to this really nice bar...

like the night's getting dipped... so I'm
thinking, fuck... go back to her place and you know like...

- fucking, really get at it.
- Flavour

It's just my thinking right.

Soon as we get to the top of the road...

she... she's like "woah woah woah, wait up"

I'm like, what do you mean wait up?

She's like, I think it's... I think it's better you drop me

drop me like here.

Firstly I can't connect
the dots, my feelings are a bit hurt, I'm...

Wait, wait, like up the road?

Like up the road from
her fucking house she wants to be dropped off.

But... whatever, you know what I mean.

My thing that upsets me
about this chick is like, we on this mad, crazy flex

but, she says this shit like matter of fact.

Like that's just the way shit is.

You know what I mean, like if a...

if someone's... if someone's
lacing up like ninety one Air Jordans

call the nigga old fashioned,
you know what I mean, but if a nigga's racist like...

call it what it is.

Call it what it is, that's all I'm fucking saying.

Nah man...

That's what I don't get about you man.

What are you doing fucking around with girls from
Pretoria like you don't know what country you stay in?

Dude, that's a completely rational thing,
that's just like fucking an hour away from fucking Sandton.

What did you expect?

I expected that we'd have a nice time.

I expected that maybe me and her would ah...
would be flexing for a while, this is...

this is my future wife god damn it.

What you looking for?

Coins

What you mean? For what now?

Ah, this generous nigga, that time...

- Life's fucked up man
- Jesus

Like life is fucked up.

Dawg, are you on the real?

Is this, are you really on this shit?

Wait, like on the real now, your fucking issue

is that you think that everyone
in life has this like hard fucking card

everyone's like been through this like... ordeal

like Jabz must now save the fucking world.

Whatever.

Trav?

Yeah?

You ever wonder where we go when we die?

I try not to think about it if I'm honest.

I just... um...

got to believe there's
something more out there, you know...

something boundlessly beautiful

somewhere um... hidden like

just over that mark in the sky where our eyes stop seeing.

Where?

There.

Fucking no-end towns, no-end jobs.

Middle-class suburban shit. I mean...

surely that isn't the end of everything we know.

Like we die...

and we're just dead.

Are you afraid of dying?

Sometimes I feel really excited by the idea...

like, death is this vacation we all get to go on together.

Um... but like... a forever vacation
you don't need to come home from.

That's fucking grim.

Love...

Dreams...

Gone.

Makes me want to cry.

I don't really want to die, Trav.

Right, are you comfortable September?

I'm fucking comfortable.

Ask me anything you want.

Anything.

What's this now, like...

Is that... oh is that sound?

Let's go for one.

September interview, take one.

I used to go to a mess
of parties with this girl, right, and like...

...and like half way through the night,
she's hooking up with like, some... some guy

and every... every party it's like a different guy

or there's just like some
dramatic scene that she's involved in, right...

It's like, every party that
we'll go to, there's like, there's something

that, like, involves this chick that's like,
fucking completely out of hand

Monday comes around...

first period...

she's chilling like, nothing
fucking happened you know and everyone's like...

you know, everyone's just...

no one gave a fuck, you know...

And her parents didn't notice?

I don't know like, I don't... I can't really...

I don't fucking know her parents, you know, but

I can say from our side, you know,
everyone's just like, everyone's hanging out...

you know, everyone's...

We all got our own shit.

And there's certain types of kids
that's just not gonna fucking handle that.

You know? And there's nothing...

parents or, you know

it's not about that,
it's just like she couldn't fucking handle, you know?

Have you ever considered suicide?

What like killing myself?

Fuck

These are some hard fucking questions
for the wrong nigga, you know, like...

White people do a lot of
things that make no fucking sense.

Oh my god, you're such a bullshitter!

I'm not that gullible.

I swear to god.

Ten fingers, ten fingers on the Jewish Torah, I swear.

My god, I came like three times. Dude, I've never...

- What she knows how to...
- Are you bullshitting me?

Swear to god. I was dripping wet.

- No but seriously, are you kidding right now?
- Dude it was amazing, I'm actually getting wet right now.

- Stop touching yourself, that's disgusting!
- I'm not fucking touching myself

Ew! You can't just hook up with a girl.

Why not dude?

- Because it's fucking gross.
- She was...

Dude, it was so sensual...

and so sexy...

- and like you would think like ew, she'd smell down there
- Okay, stop describing it

but she doesn't smell, it's just amazing

I'm sure she did, I'm sure she reeked

She did not, at all, I didn't really go down on her

- like I, kind of...
- Dude, did she smell like period?

Why would she...

Ew dude, I'm not doing
rainbow kisses and that shit, that's disgusting.

Man she was fat, period girl in high school.

- What do you mean?
- She was fat period girl, like...

No dude, we were like...

We were like in art class
and I was sitting across from Justin

and we were like sending each other notes
and whatever, like you know how it is

So I look over

and there on the seat
is like this big fucking wet patch of period

- I swear to god, it was foul
- Oh no fuck off, that's disgusting

It was so disgusting,
it even stank, I promise you, it was so gross.

I did speak to mom and she was fine with it

and just because you two
don't speak to each other, doesn't mean...

I just need more,
I just need more. I'm seeing her tomorrow night so...

Apparently like the Thai people are really nice...

What?

- Are you serious?
- Dude, you don't understand

You actually have to experience... not her, that's mine

Rafi, honestly you can't just like fucking go and

see a girl after you fucked her, like, who does that?

You do that will all the uncircumsized cocks you fuck.

Ja but it's different because...

How is that different?

I'm not turning lesbian.

And what am I supposed to tell Tali and Rafi?
This is what we've been planning the whole year.

It's got nothing to do with my family

- Ja well don't start hiding lesbian secrets
- Do you want me to tell your brother who you fuck?

- Whatever, stop being a penis...
- That's gross, at least I fucked a Jewish girl, like...

Ja but...

Dad, this is actually ridiculous,
and I actually don't have to listen to you anymore.

No, I don't.

I'm fine, I am relaxed.

September just messaged me.

Dad please, just please think about it.

I really want to go to Thailand.

He wants to know what we're doing tonight.

So are you going to fuck a girl or a black guy?

I don't know...

Who shall I bring to Shabbos next week Friday?

Who should I bring,
the Jewish lesbian or a black guy? Fuck.

You ever felt like the world was too fucked up?

People... people just can't be bothered with each other...

anymore.

You think I'm fucked up?

Yeah.

Probably.

Not 'cause you're a bad person. Because you're human.

Dude, come on!

Hey, take it easy.

- It's in the fucking way man.
- Dude, why you speaking to him...

this guy's just chilling out here man, just...

like you get... you start drinking a bit of alcohol

you start fucking losing your
god damn mind. Look at you my nigga.

I'm gonna start rapping...

I'm gonna start rapping or dealing cocaine or...

Rap about this shit?

God, I can't fucking... Even just looking at
that shit makes my stomach feel like it's going to...

You know my stomach issues

I can't just be drinking hard tack
from fucking six o'clock to the morning

I'm gonna get some fucking beer or some shit

I'm gonna take this shit
and I'm gonna take something else...

But watch me tonight my man,
I swear I'm going to pump her so hard...

Yo, what the fuck man?

Hey, I'm sorry brother

No don't call me brother man

Do we look related, you and I?

Hey dude, just... just relax

No don't fucking tell me to relax man

Hey dude, I'm sorry, there's nothing else I can do bru

- Fuck you, it ain't cool man
- Hey dude, come on man relax bro

- Hey dude, is there a problem?
- There's no problem

Dude, you need to just hang out.

- It's cool bro
- Fuck you and fuck you and fuck you!

Dude! Chill out.

Guys! Guys! Fuck...

Dude, dude... dude fucking chill

Guys chill, push back

Hey! Hey!

You chicks want to hold hands you take it outside.

- Hey dude, what the fuck? Dude, dude, chill out.
- Fucking bring it! Bring it!

- Chill out man. What the fuck?
- Did you fucking see that?

What? See what? See what now?

Hey dude, you need to
fucking chill the fuck down my man.

Please.

Dude, look at me, look at me, dude.

- What the fuck is up with you man?
- Did you see that?

See what, dude?

Just bring it the fuck in. Please man, chill.

- I'm cool, I'm cool
- You cool?

- Are you cool though?
- I'm, I'm cool

- Are you cool?
- I'm cool.

Alright man, lets...

let's fucking... Let's go man, let's go.

What the fuck is this place man?

Dawg, you know I swear man, the world's so fucked up.

People are just fucked up.

Like...

I swear one day everyone's just going to

just turn on each other and start eating each
other and start shooting each other and fucking...

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa...

That's some crazy shit you're hollering.
Where is that even coming from my nigga?

Hey!

Now that you're here, you're just in time for my wedding.

Best.

Yo. Yo.

Hey!

What's going on?

How you?

Yo Matty, mind if I use your bathroom man?

Just round there man, you'll find the way.

Do you understand it?

Um...

I... I don't.

Do you know why Emily might have wanted to kill herself?

I mean, it's... it's hard to figure.

Um... Only she can tell now.

Yeah but surely you must
have thought about it to some extent?

So I mean, just in your opinion
why do you think she did it in this manner?

You know, putting her death out to
the world like that is quite a statement to make.

It's unusual even in the context of a suicide.

Why do you think she live streamed her death?

Immortality...

I mean she can't die now.

So I... you know, mission over, hanging over there,
you know, she's got some Oprah magazines on the bed...

- I love Oprah. Love her.
- Right?

I make myself comfortable.

Got my legs on the fucking bed and shit.

So then I'm just like, you know, I'm... I'm there
flexing, reading a couple of pages, you know...

And out of nowhere she asks me like,

"You... you you you ever been with a white girl?

And shit starts going fucking off from there, right.

She's touching me.

She's looking deep as fuck into my eyes
right and I'm looking into her eyes, you know...

and it's coming from left,
it's coming from right. It's a fucking tennis game.

I'm in the fucking mood...
I'm in the mood, I'm in the groove right...

I'm just like looking up,
trying to figure out like where the fuck I am.

Blacking in and out of whatever fucking
phantom-mode dream I'm fucking on with this chick

You know, all of a sudden... it's fucking over.

You know what I mean, like, this is,
this is what's happening with me.

So I'm trying to check in on what's happening with her,

and I look down...

and

she's just like, not home...

you know what I mean. She's just staring at me...

with this like blank fucking look.
You know what I mean, like the craziest,

like... fucking...

Bitch is angry

No like... like I...

like I broke her or something.

Woah

It's alright, it's alright.

Geez what's happening here?

Are you ready to go?

Alright cool. Um... can we maybe...

Got you sorted man, got you sorted.

This shit is the finest stuff bro.

- Nicest guy in town man.
- I love you, I love you man.

- Stay well.
- Enjoy your fucking nuptials.

- Ja, hope to see you at the wedding...
- You guys as well hey, keep well.

See you man.

You alright?

Just give me a second.

Whoa whoa my nigga hold up, hold up, hold up...

What?

Oh my god, I'm not feeling... I'm feeling...

After fifty years right?

There's not gonna be this shit of IDs and passports.

Dude who told you that? Ah, this guy.

Dawg, the whole world
is going to be on one server, on the internet.

So now Snyman

tell me, who is now gonna manage all that shit?

Obvious.

Whoever has the fucking internet dawg.

No dawg, there's like
ten niggas who run the internet homey.

Dude, it's those fucking families man,
the Rockafellas and that shit, the fucking Illuminati man.

Illuminati homey, fuck, we know that shit, come on man.

Yeah.

Yeah, there was this one kid, yoh,

internet gets super fucked up,

there's this one kid,

ah who was on Chat Roulette,

What the fuck is Chat Roulette?

Wait wait, I know. Chat Roulette is like chatting
on some... a table that moves like a merry-go-round.

No, you know what? Sometimes you get niggas

posting stuff online, you know, of themselves wanking.

That's not a lie man, I'm telling...
I'm fucking serious, that is for real man, I'm telling you.

We were at a fucking house party
the one time at our homey's place

and fucking... there's this thing called a Meegle or whatever,

it's like this chat room.

Yeah, and like fucking... So these guys like,
are just... they just get themselves off man, like...

Did you do that?

We fucking made a joke about it.

We took fucking one of our girlfriends
and put her there, like in front of this screen,

and then,

and then... fucking... So this guy's like, oh shit, here's
a hot chick, like let me, let me get my mac on and shit.

He's there man, we get him on the... on the, on the fringe
of like reality, you know. He thinks this shit is going down.

So he starts like playing with himself and shit.

And then we all just fucking jump in, like "Aaaah!"

Ah man, like you loser.

It was crazy man.

It was such a jol.

Guys, you know about this, this,
this internet thing, I've always wondered like...

if you could get the internet and have it in your hand

what would it weigh?

Yoh, you stupid man.

So you want to like
hold the internet in your hand or something?

There was that kid online, yeah, there was that kid online,

says um... he saw a girl

hang hers-
Emily!

Any of y'all know Emily?

- Yeah yeah, we know
- Deep

Dawg, like it's crazy shit though, like, stupid bitch though,

why you kill yourself online?

People are now taking selfies at um,
unveilings with like tombstones and shit.

It's pretty rough man.

- Yeah man.
- It is.

Yoh, did she hashtag her death or some shit?

Yeah, hashtag I'm dead.

Hashtag, is she like posting selfies or some shit?

By her tombstone nigga, there.

Can the joint be passed around? Can it move?

It hasn't been moving, that's all I've been noticing.

It stopped, it stopped.

I wanna go play roulette on that merry-go-round.

- When you announce it...
- I can't keep it in, I got to tell somebody...

- It has to come out...
- Get him to post that on roulette...

- that you were flipping wasted or something...
- Ja, but like, for real though like...

the world is all going to be on the internet one day.

And those two are making out over there.

Get yourself a girlfriend dawg.

Get a room.

Yeah you get a room guy. Get a room dude.

Sometimes I think about dying and... and
it’s good.

Yeah?

Yeah. 'Cause I’m just floating.

I’m
floating nowhere near any place I know.

I’m floating over everything.

It’s like I’m moving and moving somewhere off the earth...

and it’s beautiful there.

You're such a creep.

Oh my god, you psycho.

Are you guys hungry?

No, I'm fine.

Dude, I'm not hungry, at all. I'm alright, thanks.

You want some wine?

Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah

- Daddy's wine
- Dude, what wine is that though, honestly?

We can't have all my parent's wine.

Dude we've had like... three bottles... today...

Oh my god, it smells expensive dude, that's really bad.

- Oh come on, it's not expensive.
- They are going to be so bleak with me.

It's from South Africa, I'm sure they can replace it.

Dude, that's where the best wine is from you blonde.

- Dude, we're in South Africa.
- Ah, okay, whatever, cool, whatever.

We'll just replace it or whatever man.

It's true... like they wouldn't even know,
they don't ever open this. But one day they will...

And I'll be shat on badly.

And they'll have Appletizer.

They wouldn't even know.

Oh fuck dude, are you going
to that town party tomorrow night?

I forgot about that.
Dude, it's gonna be so good, you have to come.

It's gonna be...

Have you not been on Facebook or what?

I yeah, just out of the loop lately, fuck, sorry.

It's gonna be so much fun...
so you going to come? Come with us dude, we'll drive.

And dude, we have a spare ticket
because Jason isn't coming anymore sorry

- Come with us, free ticket, everything.
- I've seen him twenty times, um, I'm cool

- Ja but it's going to be rad
- Ah, come on, you haven't seem him twenty times

I think it's... it's not at
Mary Fitzgerald Square, it's one of those places in town.

- Nah
- You gonna miss out. What are you going to do tomorrow night?

I'm just going to chill at home man.

- And? Do what?
- Ah come on, that's so lame.

And relax. And just chill.

Yeah, with who? Tammy's coming with us dude.

What does that mean?

Well I saw you...

We saw you at Tasha's the other day.

You going to miss out big time dude.

- You don't want to miss out on this party.
- I'm not coming, I'm not coming, I'm not coming.

I'm not coming to this fucking party, at all,
I'm not doing it. I'm not going to be there, I'm sorry.

Okay.

Whatever.

Let's just go like... sit by the fireplace or something.

Yeah.

Wait. You guys want to get fucked up?

...let's cuddle... I'm thinking, fuck man, dude you not...

Why? Why you don't want to cuddle with her?

Why you don't want to
give her a cuddle? She just sucked your dick.

Now you're drinking wine. No put that down.

What about pussy licking though, do you enjoy that?

Fuck. No.

We not fucking talking... we talking about blowjobs man.

Blowjobs cool, pussy licking I don't know so much.

So you do not lick pussy, is that just like a thing in your life?

- Baby!
- You don't... But you've got those big, soft lips...

- Pussy is not meant to be licked?
- You guys...

That's the biggest piece of bullshit I've ever heard in my life.

Why are we even talking about this? It's fucking gross.

Because it's facts. It's gender politics.

Do you think you would...

ever have your own family?

What like a... like a wife and kids or whatever?

Ja, exactly

Fuck

I don't know man, like

I have this fucking basic philosophy, right

and I just believe in general

the ones you love, especially the ones you fucking love,
those are the first people that will fucking switch you up

you know what I mean like...

My family's... my family's fucking...

my family's shit... so fucking shit like...

Once upon a time, I'm sure like, my mom
and dad loved each other, you know what I mean, like

- Ja tell me about it
- but now like, I don't think...

I don't even think they fucking like each other

My parents don't talk to each other

Mine don't... mine don't either, you know what I mean,
and that's been like that since I was like, what like...

since I was like fucking ten.
So I end up being like, what the fuck? Like what do you...

why would you... why would you have a family?

...if it's going to be broken...

Can you guys imagine like...

Three hundred years ago...

Like...

Joburg

South Africa was like a...

an African kingdom

No buildings.

Just space.

Tribes.

Just long, long like...

vast spaces of land.

You could have like large families.

You could have like ten wives.

And it was cool 'cause

everyone loved each other.

How do you know that everyone loved each other?

It's a story Tal.

Ja but I just want to know.

I don't.

That's just how I picture it.

People are lost...

'cause the world's just separating all of us.

It's faster and faster.

It's like people are too clever to love.

What happened to the earth?

Sand...

I'm fucking high man.

No. Tony stop. Fuck man, stop.

No.

- Come on baby
- No

Tony stop!

Tony stop!

Tony, stop!

Come on baby, baby come on man fuck...

- Leave me
- Come on, fuck

Tony, stop!

- Hey baby
- Fuck off Bogosi

- Tanya
- Fuck man

Baby, what the fuck is going... hey!

Baby.

What the fuck, baby?

Baby?

What the fuck is going on?

So, what happened?

And well fuck I... I don't know man, I guess...

I guess shit just kind of...

you know it just got out of hand, you know, I mean...

Shit just got out of control.

So... Is the kid living or what?

Told you man.

I don't know that kid.

What the fuck?

Hey.

Yo.

Fuck... got to go man.

Why don't you just stay over?

Ja, what's your story man?

Let yourself out.

Yo, September.

September.

September.

What's up my nigga?

What?

We gotta go.

What the fuck you mean
we gotta go... where the fuck we gotta go?

Okay, I'm coming...

Hey, give me... ah fuck.

Dawg.

What the fuck are you even wearing?

Dawg, I don't fucking know what I'm wearing man,
fuck, that's what happens when you fucking ask me to...

get in a car before I even
have the chance to wipe my god damn dick.

Jesus, is there fucking aircon? Can you put that shit on?

Fuck.

What?

Gas.

Fuck that, I'm going back to sleep.

No fuck, let's call a cab.

Dude you're really fucking busting my dick,
I swear to fucking god, I swear to god you're busting my dick.

Let's go yo.

Dude, how we gonna get out man?
Call... call fucking Tali dude.

What the fuck you mean how we gonna get out?

Dawg, oh my

- I can't... I'm fucking
- September

Get the fuck over this fence.

Jesus man, you make me wanna fucking cry.

I can't... I don't even have...
I don't even have the fucking stamina for this shit.

Ah fuck

Come on, come on

Jesus man

Fuck

Let's go.

Fuck.

Dude, where are we even gonna get a cab?

Fuck man, just...

Dude, it's like fucking ten minutes
walk to the main strip from fucking here.

Shit, whoo.

Where are you going?

Uh...

Hey hey hey, close your door properly.

Hey man, my door's closed.

No no no, there's a door that's open.

Alright, we're going, we're going Sandton side man.

We, let's a... we'll go like right by your place?
And we split it down the middle?

- Yeah yeah.
- Alright cool.

You got anything else?

Like what?

Music man, music, have you got any...
any other... anything to listen to?

Check here.

Hey hey hey man.

One more, one more, one more.

Alright.

Ja, but you see, the thing you must
understand about politics right, is that... is that

I want you to understand about Zuma actually...

Zuma does not give a shit about the people.

The very people that put him there, no he does not.

Ja, he just wants his... his very big house, you know?

That can be the size of
the rest of the... the whole of Sandton!

- Yeah.
- Ja, just one house, for one man. Sandton big.

Ja and what about the people?
There's people there in the squatter camps, you know that?

Ja and, and... those people, it's so
unfair for them because they put him up there.

But him, he doesn't care.

- Now where shall they live?
- Yeah.

It's unfair.

And they've got children.

You know. Who must feed them?
Who must feed these people? Who must feed...

Who must feed the children of these people?
Who must take them to school?

It's the tax payer.

So my man, you must understand this one thing...

- Alright. I should be getting to bed.
- Me too.

It's really good speaking to you.

- You know, just... talking.
- Yip, ja, any... any time yeah.

- Alright. See you around.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

They walk apart.

This photograph isn't romantic.

People in romantic photographs walk together
close and hold each other by the hand, skin to skin.

Skin to skin in the hallway 'cause they wanna fuck.

She shows him the pussy.

This world is crazy.

Hey man you got a light?

Yeah.

So what's um... what's been up with you man?

What you mean man?

I don't know man, you just kind of seem...
you know, a little off your fucking game, you know?

For real?

Nah I'm fucking serious man.

I don't know what it is man.

It's like lately...

I'm feeling kind of displaced, you know.

Yeah.

Like lost or something.

Lost how?

Fucking pressure man.

Fucking pressure that's just...
building up to my fucking throat man.

Yeah.

Fucking parents.

I read that one my nigga.

They want answers man.

They want answers to things I'm like...

What the fuck?

What in the fuck?

"What are you going to do?"

"What are your fucking plans?"

Like I fucking have any man.

I don't know man, it's like...

fucking...

I fucking hate this city man.

You know sometimes I feel like...

Joburg is just trying to kill me.

Ten years from now man, fucking ten years from now...

I'm just gonna be like...

in some fucking crazy-ass place in like fucking
Hollywood or some shit, you know what I mean?

And like...

Everyone will be like,
"Yo September!", like hitting me up mad like...

"We miss you man."

"Come hang out."

But I ain't never fucking
coming back man, I ain't never coming back.

I'm just going to be
straight ghost, you know what I mean?

This is the suburbs with the sound
turned off...

so you can really see it.

Shapes, lines, shapes, lines...

Somewhere in between them, a photograph
of me and my best friend September on a corner.

This is one of my favourite photographs.

'Cause this is us after 14 years together.

And I love him like he loves me.

And even though we
never speak much about what we feel...

I know he gets it.

Dude, I'm not your fucking
girlfriend man. Come on, what's that?

Alright.

- Get home B
- Alright

Don't fucking spend your
whole life on fucking corners my nigga.

On June 26, 2014

I went where she
went.

And most people blamed her for it.

They said, “If he had
never met her, or if she hadn’t done that..."

"he would have never got it in his head to do the same.”

I think the worst thing about it is

leaving my friends behind.

I never wanted to break their hearts,

their hearts are all so broken already.

At the end of it all, it could be
Johannesburg or Washington or anywhere.

You can ask the same million questions.

Sometimes when kids are fucked up...

there's just nothing you can do for them.