Nasty Old People (2009) - full transcript

- Beautiful, or what?
- For fuck's sake, you're home?

And there's more!

Delightful little thing, don't you think?

I am Mette

I'm nineteen

At the age of thirteen I became a Nazi

Everybody loves me

They'll probably attack from both sides,
so let's place our guards here - and here

Well, then they'll just attack from here

The ones I care for...

Here! Highest risk! We're vulnerable,
they're getting the attention



The ones I'm fighting

Maby Mette should hold the speech?

Of course I should

The ones I impress

But most of all...

... my colleagues in the home help service

Since I gladly take the oldies
that no one else can handle

- Look, see what they've done to me?
- Wake up and smell the coffee

Coming to the meeting?

When we first met,
Märta was afraid of almost everything

Of the paper-boy ...

... of the birds

Of slipping on the rug ...

... and of men



But most of all ...

... of being poisoned by the home help service

Now open your mouth

Open it up!

What's in the food?

Behind the door across the hall,
... lives Elsie

Elsie is nearly a hundred years old

Elsie is mean to almost everyone

To the paper-boy ...

... the children in the backyard

To the home help service

You know what I think?

The little one is dead!

Miscarriage!

But most of all she's mean to Mr W,
who lives behind the window across the yard

He wrote for years and years a story

But when he had only one page left,
... he got cancer

That made him kind of bitter

At those who can fly ...

... those who can walk

At those who can live

But most of all ...

... because he needs home help service
even though he's only fortynine

Are you done...?

Should we wipe?

Get lost!

Let's make this short!

Mette, welcome back from vacation.
Hope you had a good time

I can see we have some trouble with your cares

Who are "we"?

Very well, then we only have one thing left.
Harald Börjesson is back in our district

Well, I won't go there

Do we have any volunteers?

I'll take it

Good morning

Fucking hell!

No!

Damned fucking people!

Ouch!

Oh but come on? We're having fun, right?

Need some help? Or I'll leave

Well, nice meeting you

Hugs and kisses

You're evil!

- You know who I met?
- No, tell me

Anders. You know what he said?
That I'm a smart girl. Really!

Hey, you really think so... that I'm evil?

What the hell is wrong with you?
You're my darling baby, and you know it.

He's not good for you

What about that speech?

Brothers and sisters...

Syrup or water?

Water or syrup?

Juice or syrup. Syrup or juice

Juice or water. Juice or syrup.
Water or water. Water or juice

Syrup or water

You know, Märta. If you don't eat ...

... you can't fight

And you might get abused...

Assaulted...

Raped!

By just about anybody

You're in my way!

How is the common sense coming along?

Trouble hearing?

Cancer in the ears, or what?

The hearing is located here on both sides

And this is the tumour. Since October 1st
it has grown from there

With the same speed it will take... it'll take...

It...

It will be two years before it's this big

But don't you bother. By then I'll be long gone

It was just a question

Porridge?

You're terribly, terribly ugly

I`d help you if I could

But, I'm sorry to say, never in your life
you will meet a man

It would be a very ugly one, if any

Please leave the room.
I'm nauseated by eating with you here

What's this?

Hello?

This is really ugly

It's particles. From you.
From your hair. From your skin

On my fingers

Normally, men want women with some kind of curves

And if anyone will ever take pity on you-

-please put some pillows on your hips
so the poor fellow survives

And put something in your bra,
so the ladies wont take you for a boy

Elsie...

Who in the world would ever pity,
such an old... wrinkled-

-dragon like you?

How come I look like seventy
when I'm almost a hundred, you think?

I always get the ones I want

And intend to manage as many
as possible before I die

So that's what it's about? Quantity

What's that supposed to mean?

Is there quality when it comes to men?

The water you're drinking... I found it in the toilet

And the meat, is straight from the trash

Oh, you fool

You need to wash that hair

He will not escape! I've seen him

He's there already, you see

The boy of course, are you stupid or what!

I'll be buried next to her,
because then he has no choice

Okay, I'll take care of it

If you let go

Hands off!

And you'll wash your hair

Only 'til I get some money...

Don't worry, you can count on us

What the fuck are you doing?

Will you please sleep here tonight?

Boiled or broiled?

Now what is that? I told you, lamb

With real fibres

A nice little bit of fluff - or nothing

I want you to leave!

Wanna have a look?

I`m clean all over ... even between the toes

And now I'm toweling

I only had one page left

Then I would've been done. But then it was too late

Take those away!

You think you can simply walk around
and swing your hips

If you don't work it, you won't get it
at the age of forty

Ever tried anal sex? It's really pleasant

- So when will you you die?
- In a year

- And how much left to write?
- One page

Okay! It takes you more than a year to write a page

And for how many years did you write? Twenty

So there's twenty pages by now?! Fat novel, Mr

It doesn't work

Doesn't work

I know

You don't know at all, never, ever

Will never be

Never, never ever, never will be

Never coming home

Where's your pills?

Never... will never ever be

Go play somewhere else. This is not a playground

This place is for the dead

- And those who work?
- Nobody's working here

So you're a ghost, eh?

You ordered a Hawai, thats... mine...

Your place or mine?

Harald..?

Get lost!

- What the fuck are you doing?
- You're always in my way!

One hand!

- Do I know you?
- Don't think so

Let me show you something strange

So...?

She blooms at night

Yeah? I see no flowers

Ten years and then...

She's flowering for one single night,
and then she dies

I couldn't do that

It's all about time

You actually waited ten years?

Well twentyfour, but with different plants

My god, what's your problem?

Think of her, she waits a lifetime, just to die.

- That's fucking sad
- Don't think so

- Fuck!
- Yes!

- Damn...
- Yes, yes, yes!

- Fucking negro!
- Get it up!

Good morning! Märta...

Hello. Good morning.

Why don't you sit up. Let's rise...

- You were in my dream
- Really? Should I be scared or flattered?

What? What's that smile?

Now what's this?

Don't you want to read?

- How about a shower?
- No! I'm clean

Harald. If you'd ask me-

-your son is an idiot, not coming to see you

But I can make him, if you want me to

He won't come. But when I'm dead he'll be forced to

Then he will have no choice

Where are you going?

Nowhere

Staring at a seedling all night long?
Don't you ever sleep?

- Not much
- Me neither

You're a little nuts, aren't you?
Your parents dropped you on your head?

- Don't have parents
- That's what I thought

So, who found you in the woods?

Did you get a little?

How is that speech coming along? Huh?

I know what you're up to, you know

You are a bad girl!

You ought to be ashamed!

Oh but I want to keep her!

It dosn't vibrate enough I think.
I want to feel it a little more

It's probably the batteries.
But what an ugly smell...

Is that you, Elsie?

They better be good in bed,
and that's enough for me

What is that smell?

It's just a gift

Oh fucking hell!

Why don't you put it under his pillow?

A lot going on? Something fun?

You know old Harald ...

The psycho in the churchyard of course!

What the hell is wrong?
Having your period?

Well, forget about him

In two months it will be as big as
the entire right cerebral hemisphere

It grows at night, if you didn't get that already

"Young man, seventy something-

-looking for young woman in the same age-

-for walks and talks"

- It doesn't sound that bad, does it?
- But I don't like talking

- It's something you write, okay
- I want to sleep

Sorry...

We'll just sit here? Doing nothing?

- What about the rest of your family?
- Hush

The flower got ears?

I hate my father. For real

Why?

He beat me. People keep going on
about forgiveness all the time

Well, that's just babbling

Don't you think I know what you're up to?

You should be damned happy I haven't told them

Or do you want me to?

- We never talk anymore!
- I'm tired

Tomorrow night at seven. I told them you're coming

If you care about me at all, you better be there

- Could I please sleep here tonight?
- No

- Oh come on.. I can sleep on the floor
- No

A friend of yours?

Is it a guy? Good-looking?

- Beware of the birds!
- Not birds... men

- Had sex lately?
- I`m an old woman

Not that old. If I found you a babe,
you'd give him a chance, right?

I don't want to!

Can you do magic?

Looks like you've enchanted a poor bird

Looks like it's about to become... alive

Let's try

Live!

Fly!

Don't laugh! I'm trying to free a poor soul

You try

Die!

What's the matter with you?

You always talk rubbish

Nothing to say?

What's happened?

We will solve this. With your help!

Here!

They belonged to me now

My own grumpy oldies

And I to them

Harald and I threw everything away

And waited together-

-for his son, to come visit

Mr W got some inspiration-

-and had to find some explanations

Suddenly he wrote again,
a first line on the last page

Elsie charmed the men

See that nail?

I should hang you up like a painting, for me to watch!

She even wanted Mr W

And he tried to play her game

Together we invented the world again,
as we wanted it to be

And I? I couldn't help it

Suddenly, they had become my whole world

Time to practice!

Well, cheers

Welcome to Mette's dating school

Never talk about money.
They only think they'll have to support us

- Well isn't that what we want?
- But we don't want them to get that, do we?

- Well then, what do they want from us?
- Our big boobs.

Yes, I guess that'd be the reason

Maybe Elsie is right. It is all about sex

I said so!

If you just act like yourself, he will love you.
If he isn't interested, the loss is his

- You look like Olga tonight
- Who's Olga?

You're beautiful

To a long life with plenty of sex

And love

If he does like this...

...then he's definitely interested

Cheers!

She has to come home at some point, right?

Hey? Wait a minute!

I said wait!

Well, blame yourself

- I can't come here no more.
- You're scared?

What if the world is a little more complicated-

-than a damn fucking flower!

- Trouble hearing, man?
- Hell yes! Actually!

Too bad for you

Märta... Märta, come on

Don't do this! Märta

Come on!

Märta. Don't do this, wake up!

Wake up! Come on, wake up!

Did Olga die?

Damn you... damn you!

Fucking bitch!

Give Olga my regards, okay?

You're about to die?

Well it's about time

Hope you don't mind I'll take the chance to celebrate

Forgive me

What the fuck is this? What's this?

Did you take this...

You'll bring them into the grave, or what?

You think she's happy now? Well?

When you've kept them so nicely

Well?

Can't you just fucking die sometime

Throw. Throw I said!

I said throw!

Throw! Throw!

Throw!

For fuck's sake, throw!

- Stop that...
- Get lost!

- This is everything to him!
- Yes I know!

- For fuck's sake, he's an old man!
- You know nothing about him!

You know nothing about me!

- It was me for fuck's sake!
- You what?

Your arm, your fucking arm. It was me

Cheers. Cheers.

Harald found his son at last.
And Märta met her friend again

But life went on

For Elsie

For mr W

And maybe, even for me

I'm a writer

You're not acting like one, goddamn it

To start with you have to write - and you don't

- Watch me!
- I'd be pleased

Last page!

See, how hard can it be?

And such fucking moaning

You'll be a nice boy now, and don't move.
Let's do your hair

I am Mette. I'm twenty

Until I was nineteen I was a Nazi

And the book? Same age as me and finally relased

He writes about the garbage.
Makes me think of the French revolution and...

Nobody could read that. Legible, I told you!

Elsie finally found her husband,
and Mr W got to be in wedding pictures

And here I am