Nasreddin Hoca (1971) - full transcript
Nasreddin Hodja
(Hodja: Master, Scholar)
Written and Directed by
(singing)
Thank god, another day is over.
Might as well drop by
Hodja Efendi while I'm here.
See how he's doing.
(mumbling)
For God's sake
what are you doing?
I swear,
I'm not doing anything mom.
May God take pity on you!
You silly stupid boy!
You will never amount to anything!
Quick, get those!
You're really asking for it...
Be quick are you listening to me?
Mother please, don't hit me
I'll get to it just don't hurt me!
Get those clothes, quick!
Ow my ass!
Quickly!
I- I'm hanging them.
Go!
I'm going!
Cursed be you!
You feather-brain, not that way!
This way! Go, go!
O-o-okay, I'm here.
And what are you waiting for?
Hang those clothes!
He-he, here they go!
What are you doing?
You stupid boy!
You airhead!
You good for nothing!
What am I to do with you?
Damn you!
Take these and get to work!
Be quick!
T-there it is...
There, what else should I do?
(mocking)
What do I do now?
Shut up and sit down!
Greetings!
Salam aleykum.
Where did he come from?
I know...
What do you know?
From his mother's belly!
Oh is that what happened?
Curse you!
I've said, salam aleykum.
Aleykum selam.
Just what the hell do you want?
Where would the Hodja be?
Why do you care?
I've got couple of things
to say to him.
Why do we care?
Please milady.
Call him so I can speak with him.
It's very important.
I can tell by your looks!
I'll let him know, regardless.
You wait here
while I get your father.
(whispering) Keep an eye on him,
he could be a thief!
She's coming don't worry.
Hey, Efendi.
(respectful address, literally: sir, lord)
Get up!
Some bozo wants to see you.
Will you get up?
Quit yawning and get up!
Praised be the lord!
What are you talking about?
Stop dawdling and get up!
Who could it be?
Will you get up already?
Come on.
There.
There, that pesky pest!
Allah, Allah?
(can express surprise, confusion or fear)
Hey, visitor!
What do you want, out with it.
Hodja, would you please
come down here,
I need to speak with you.
Can't you speak from there?
Can't you walk down here
Hodja?
Allah, Allah...
Maybe there is
something to it...
Let's go down and have a look-see.
Take a look at his face and
see if you want to go down!
Don't go down
and stand here all day!
Alright, let's go.
Please visitor, say your piece,
what would it be?
I beg your pardon
You see,
I'm in a tough spot.
Could you spare a few coins,
if you feel generous.
In that case,
come upstairs.
This old fool,
why would he invite him upstairs?
What's that?
It's a camel.
May camels stomp you!
Please, this way.
Welcome.
Thank you Hodja Efendi.
Oh, that's right.
You wanted some spare change?
Ah, yes.
God bless you!
May God
shower you in riches!
Well in that case,
may God can give you the coins.
Alright then, farewell.
Good luck on your journeys.
Wouldn't have expected
this from your Hodja Efendi.
I'm a servant of God.
In that case you are
God's responsibility not mine.
Goodbye.
Come on, get a move on.
Find someone else to pester.
Couldn't you find
someone else to bother?
Take a walk so I can
take a good look at you.
Hang on,
how much did he give you?
He told me to ask God,
and send me off.
Really?
Good on him,
he can be smart once in a while!
Away with you now!
Corn?
Corn that's right,
took them from my father.
Take them, our gift to you.
God bless you my son.
From now on,
you are to feed the donkey.
No can do!
It's either you or nobody.
Listen to me old fool,
don't get me started!
Started? You don't ever stop!
Quiet now you dotard!
You couldn't have found
another fool to marry you!
Why did I settle for you?
I'm a beautiful woman!
I could have gotten any man
I've wanted!
You having a laugh?
Beat it!
But I don't want to.
And why?
I want to watch.
God help me!
Like your
father wasn't enough!
All she does is scolding me!
Why do I
have to get the water?
Does she think
I'm a pack mule?
Don't just sit there,
go feed the donkey.
Hold on, I have an idea.
We will both remain silent.
Whoever speaks first,
feeds the donkey!
Deal?
Not a bad idea.
Alright then sit right here,
so we can begin.
Alright.
I am set.
I don't have any strength left,
can't have a good night's sleep.
Salam aleykum.
(mouths) Shame on you.
I just want to sleep.
Sick of carrying water all day!
Here's the water mother.
Yea-
What should I do with it?
I think I understand...
You air-headed fool,
what did you do?
Aha! You've spoken!
Now go and feed the donkey!
Or I will divorce you, honest!
Look what you did.
Always getting me in trouble,
your father's bastard!
If you want I can get some more water
and pour it again?
Shut up before
I pour down some beating on you!
Go ahead, join her.
Yeah, that's it!
Come here.
So... Hodja
wants to see you tomorrow?
Yes, dear father.
Hodja wants to
have a night in marital chamber.
What? A fight in recital chamber?
No, a night in marital chamber.
Oh, I see.
Have a feast of animal supper!
Oh come on daddy.
He wants Safinaz.
He wants to marry her.
What?
Never!
Never ever ever!
I will never allow it,
not for a million years!
That's enough now, dance!
First Sukriye gets married
and then you.
Safinaz...
My Safinaz...
Come to me my dear Safinaz.
My love.
You are my soul!
Embrace me, don't be shy.
Oh Hodja, don't.
My name is not Safinaz.
Safinaz my dear beloved, come.
Don't be shy.
Don't, stop!
You're tickling me!
My darling...
Oh you're killing me!
My Safinaz!
What did you say?
Listen to me!
Who is this Safinaz, tell me!
Don't touch me!
Safinaz, my cupcake!
Apple cheeks, cherry lips!
My quince chinned baby!
Don't touch me, damn you!
Safinaz...
Stop before you get hurt!
Who is this Safinaz!
Tell me!
Don't hit me darling.
Oh, let me explain.
Tell me!
Honestly,
this is a misunderstanding.
Are you having me on?
You better tell me the truth
or you'll regret it!
I'll break your bones!
Oh no!
I will explain.
It's all that deaf Qadi's fault.
He's insisting that
I marry his daughter!
And what was your response?
I don't really want Sukriye
but I can for Safinaz!
I've told him I'll let my wife my know,
she's a reasonable woman,
she will understand.
Oh you done did it now!
Get up before I kill you!
Get outta here!
You shameful bastard!
Oh, don't hit me woman!
Shut up!
I will rip you apart!
What's this racket,
what happened?
Look who's asking.
Oh nothing.
We just got a bit too passionate.
She kicked my robe
away and it rolled down the stairs!
Would a robe rolling
over make a racket like that?
Don't you get it?
I was wearing the robe!
Shame on you!
Still badmouthing me?
Do you expect help
from that good-for-nothing?
I'll tear you to pieces!
Go to sleep!
Get out of there,
I don't care what happens to you!
You're never coming back here!
You fool,
don't you open your mouth!
Please my dear, stop.
Don't hit me.
Get out of here right now
or I'll break your bones!
You too, what are you doing?
Are you enjoying the show?
Just go to bed!
I've had it with you two!
Disgraceful bastards!
What are you looking at?
Asking for a beating?
Just go to sleep!
Don't make me come there!
Don't you look at me!
D-d-d-dad!
Mom!
Mother wake up!
Father is sleeping on the donkey!
What did you say?
...sleeping on the donkey!
May god help me,
we'll be the talk of town!
God help me. Move.
Let's get going.
What did I do to deserve this?
Oh my god!
What is it?
Get down from there!
No, I won't!
Efendi, come to your senses.
We'll be the talk of town,
don't you have any dignity?
Okay. I will come down.
But only on one condition.
What would that be?
Only if you accept Qadi's daughter.
Lord help me!
I don't anyone else!
Let me know
If you've lost your marbles!
In that case,
let me know when you change your mind
Don't you look at me!
If that is what you wish,
after 40 years of marriage.
I will accept it.
Finally, we're on the same page.
I'm going to
have a new mother!
You really are a wise woman.
Safinaz will only
be a temporary diversion.
You are
the crowning jewel of my heart!
Oh my beloved wife!
Get the donkey ready.
As you wish Efendi father.
Hodja Efendi?
Where are you headed?
I'll be visiting
the Qadi Efendi. (sharia judge)
What business
do you have with the Qadi?
I'll ask for his daughter's hand.
Good luck.
Mashallah, mashallah.
Hodja Efendi, I've noticed...
Why are you
riding on the donkey backwards?
You should face forward.
That won't do.
If I sat forward
you'd be left behind me.
I wouldn't be able to face you.
This is the logical way.
Good day to you.
Allah, Allah...
He's a piece of work...
We're here father.
Help me down son.
Hold on. I'm coming.
Good day, Hodja Efendi.
Is your father home?
He's down by the garden.
Would you take me there, sweet child?
Sure, Hodja Efendi.
You wait for a while.
Looks like we only have each other.
Serve me ayran. (yoghurt drink)
One who serves ayran
will have bright kismet.
None of you have boyfriends.
We need to find
you girls good husbands.
You like it father?
Oh, I'm dying!
Is it cold?
May you have good kismet.
Oh, I'm dying!
Hodja Efendi is coming.
Efendi! Welcome!
Hodja Nasreddin Efendi!
You have honored us
with your presence!
I thought I'd drop by
and have a little chat.
Efendi! Welcome!
What an honor!
Wouldn't want to impose.
Oh please! Please, join us!
I was just passing by,
thought I'd pay a visit.
What is it?
My little daughter?
Gulaysha she's over there
but she's a bit too young.
I'm not asking about her!
I was saying, how are you doing?
Oh, I see.
So, Timur's hordes...
It was horrifying Hodja Efendi.
All those soldiers were charging
towards us...
There was nothing to do
but to pray!
We were sitting ducks!
I want to
have a word with you Qadi Efendi!
Why are you screaming?
You think I'm deaf?
You hurt my ear.
I'm asking for your
daughter's hand in marriage.
Which one?
Safinaz.
Right, Sukriye. Sure Hodja.
We can arrange that.
Listen to me, I've said Safinaz!
I want Safinaz!
Thanks. So what price
do you have in mind?
A donkey's hair!
You deaf!
How much gold do you want?
100 gold pieces!
I'll give you
100 gold pieces for Safinaz.
And I'll gladly give you Safinaz!
Would you give her mother too?
I would.
I can give something for her as well.
Maybe I can throw
in the grandmother as well?
He's selling his entire family!
I only want Safinaz.
I'm not giving her mother.
And I'm not taking her mother.
You're a laugh. Alright...
So you only want my daughter.
So it's a deal.
I will deliver the girl to you
tomorrow morning.
You make the arrangements,
I'll be waiting for you
tomorrow morning.
Let's shake on it.
Cheers!
Oh, I'm dying!
Oh, I'm dying! Go ahead.
Give me some,
let me die a bit as well!
So you didn't die after all.
I'm used to it.
Welcome, you've brought such joy!
My dear, most precious Efendi.
Nice to see you!
I've brought my daughter
to your house.
We've performed the rituals
You are a Hodja after all.
Take good care of her!
Go ahead.
Long live Efendi! It's an honor!
Please, don't mention it.
Come here my Safinaz.
My snowflake, my twinkle!
My dearest baby!
May god protect...
...against the evil eye.
Protect us
against the evil eye, Mashallah!
You slimy snake!
You reptile!
You are really asking for it now!
Get out of here!
Enjoying your dance?
Whose side are you on?
Beat it!
Curses!
My beloved. Don't be shy go ahead.
You'll be pleased with me.
Maybe not at first,
but in due time.
This is our bed, my Sultan!
Safinaz, my Sultan, show me your face.
Please, don't be shy.
Lift your veil.
I understand, you are shy.
I will lift it myself.
What?
Sukriye? You again?
Get out!
It's me but I-
Quick, get out!
Go to your father!
Go to your cheating father!
Qadi Efendi, listen here!
Take her away,
I don't want a cross-eyed girl!
And that's my final word!
What's he saying?
You cheat!
I don't want a cross-eyed woman,
you've tricked me!
So, you're all done, huh?
You scamming Qadi,
my day will come
and you'll pay for this!
Hodja is pretty fast huh,
Mashallah!
You get what you deserve!
Did you really expect
to marry a 18 year old girl?
Woman!
Love is blind,
you can fall for this or that!
Don't get me started on...
You disgraceful Qadi!
How will you pay
for what you have done?
M-Me? D-disgraceful? H-how dare you?
Seize him!
Get him!
Set him down for a beating!
You cursed Qadi!
Even if you beat me
I have made my decision!
I will enjoy this!
You dirty woman!
I don't want her.
Harder!
Oh, this is brilliant!
What are you looking at
you dumb broad!
You have been rejected!
Hit harder.
Faster!
Qadi Efendi!
Timur's soldier's are coming,
I barely made it!
What are you talking about?
Timur's destroying and pillaging
every town in his path!
Just yesterday,
Nevsehir's Qadi was executed!
And the guards too!
What?
We're in trouble! Hurry!
Get ready we're leaving!
Quick, hurry up!
Having fun?
Hurry, we're leaving.
You've ruined everything!
Go!
Woman...
This is your doing.
Quit whining!
How dare you
reject her at your age?
Please be quiet,
don't upset me.
I know I've been wrong.
This is all my fault.
I've been letting you
get away with too much!
You've gone mad!
No more of that,
from this point on!
Woman don't push me!
Or I'll get myself bit by a rabid dog!
And I'll get so mad
you'll look for a place to hide!
May dogs tear you to shreds!
Why am I even bothering?
Damn you!
Don't laugh!
Safinaz, hurry!
Let's run away before
Timur makes it!
What's going on?
Conqueror Timur is on his way!
We need to avoid him!
Where's Gulaysha?
She went to the lake,
she's yet to return!
Oh no, we're toast!
Find her, quick!
Go, go!
Don't be afraid of me.
This is love at first sight,
my heart is yours now!
Don't run,
I mean no harm.
Let me go stranger!
Who are you!
Where did you come from?
I can't be yours!
Don't be afraid,
I'm one of Timur's commanders!
He's a powerful emperor,
If you were to accept
he can bring us together.
Please let me go,
If my father hears this he will lose it!
Why?
I can't help you!
Where could she be?
I'm about to lose it...
Tell me where is she?
Tell me before I kill you!
I don't know!
Timur's soldiers are almost here!
They will cut my throat!
You tell me!
Or I'll kill you!
Shut up!
They show no respect
to their father!
Timur's soldiers are about to
come and take my life!
I'd rather
have two sacks of barley over you!
You are a disgrace!
Are you not worried?
They will take my head!
And maybe you will cry tears of joy!
Dad!
Daddy!
Look at your state!
Escaping from bathhouse?
I'm running from
one of the commanders of Timur!
I think he is looking for you!
Oh no!
I'm t-t-toast!
T-they have f-found me
t-they want my h-head!
I'm dead!
Oh my girls,
let's run away from here!
Hide me!
I'm dead, I'm finished!
Hey, where are you going!
Wait. Wait a bit.
There's the man!
Oh my god!
P-p-please s-s-save...
...m-m-my skin!
Efendi father, don't be afraid.
I mean no harm.
I only want
your beautiful daughter.
W-what you only want my head?
No, I won't
No, not your head efendi.
I'm a commander of great Timur!
My god, please protect us!
Don't come near me!
My majesty wants me to marry,
I'm asking for your daughter.
Don't come near me!
God, protect us!
I'm too young to die!
Let's run!
Protect me!
Run...
Our paths will cross someday...
Gulaysha you will be mine.
Hodja,
can you lend me
your piece of rope?
I cannot do that.
Why?
They've laid flour on the rope.
I don't understand, what?
Flour!
Oh Hodja,
is that even possible?
Why are you laughing?
When one doesn't want to
give the rope away
anything is possible!
Alright then.
Maybe you can ride into
town to get some rope,
if you can lend me your donkey.
That would be fine, except...
the donkey
is not here at the moment.
Where did the donkey go?
The donkey is at a meeting.
Allah, Allah...
Never heard of donkeys
going to a meeting!
What rock
you've been living under?
Donkey's nowadays
often arrange meetings!
That son of a donkey!
You told me
donkey wasn't here!
Indeed I did.
And who's
braying outside?
Such disrespect...
You see my turban and beard?
Who do you believe,
the donkey or me?
Get out of my sight,
donkey's not here!
Learn some manners!
Attention!
Allah, Allah...
Great conqueror. Timur.
Who are you,
how dare you stand in my way?
I'm just a villager,
Hodja Nasreddin.
You see who I am.
You are in the
presence of Emperor Timur!
Kneel before him!
So you are the great sultan Timur,
we welcome you to our village!
You gave me big scare!
I like you Hodja Nasreddin.
You speak beautifully,
I think we might get along.
Be that as it may...
What is it?
You look alright to me.
Don't make a decision
just by an impression.
I'm in dire
need of pair of panties.
What happened to
your old pair?
It might look fine from outside,
don't make me talk about the insides.
Hodja Nasreddin,
you are a witty one aren't you?
I want you in my palace.
I've taking a liking to you.
But my sultan-
You are coming
to the palace!
As you wish my sultan.
D-d-d-d-d-daddy's
g-g-g-going away.
To the palace.
I-I should t-tell my m-mother,
Come closer, Mullah Nasreddin.
Thank you my lord.
You look like a crafty one.
Yes, my sultan.
I have a couple of skills.
I want you to
come here daily.
Bring in the dancers.
Enjoy Hodja Efendi.
Thank you.
You might like it.
Sit down.
There is an important
issue we need to talk about.
If you resolve this problem,
I'll grant you anything
you wish!
I only wish
for your health, my sultan.
What kind of a job is this?
It is about love.
My bravest warrior Ahmed,
have fallen in love,
burning with desire.
It was love at first sight.
But now he lost her.
He is searching for her
day and night.
Yet,
she is nowhere to be found.
I want you to find her.
Your wish is my command,
my sultan.
If it is someone I know,
I'll find her immediately.
Alright then tell me,
where did you see this girl?
I will tell you.
I was in the forest,
riding on my horse.
That's when I've heard a beautiful voice
and I've went further into the forest.
And there she was,
the most beautiful girl in the lake,
with no clothes on her.
That dirty slut!
What was she doing there?
Oh Hodja
you are something else.
What could she be doing,
having a bath probably.
Oh, I see.
So what happened next?
I approached her to talk
but she run away.
I've followed her.
She has a father and two sisters.
When his father saw me,
he sent his men to attack me
and run away.
I have a question.
Yes?
Was the father deaf?
And he had weird ticks?
Let's see...
Yes.
One of his eyes,
were moving.
I know who he is!
I see whose daughters were they.
Hodja, tell us immediately!
I'll prepare an order!
And summon
them to my palace.
Yes, I'll go after them
with few of my men.
Hold on a second.
The father is an important Qadi.
The one you ordered to be killed,
the Qadi of Aksehir.
Oh...
They are
the daughters of my enemy?
He'll be executed immediately!
And his daughter
will marry the prince.
Tell me where he is
Mollah Nasreddin Hodja.
Please calm down my lord.
The truth is he is
a most despicable liar.
And he wronged me
in the past.
But you are a great emperor,
you can forgive this petty man.
And I will bring
his daughter to you.
Really, can you bring her?
We should leave immediately.
Alright Nasreddin Mollah.
Just because I like you,
I'll forgive the Qadi.
Find where he is
and ask for his daughter.
If they come here at once,
I will forgive him.
In that case
I should go now.
Do you where
they might be?
I will find them,
if I am lucky.
Excuse me.
Father.
The girls leaving.
Stay on their tail.
They gone into the house.
Is that so?
Get me down then.
Tie the donkey here.*
I will enter through the roof!
Let me look around.
I think I'll take the chimney,
instead of the door.
A bathhouse of angels.
Gulaysha, listen to me!
I have good news,
Timur has forgiven your father.
Really?
Yes, really.
And you are to marry the prince Ahmed.
The one you saw by the lake.
That handsome boy?
Yes, indeed.
You look excited!
Take me to your father, Gulaysha.
So we can deliver the news.
Quick!
I'll make myself spare
before I get into trouble.
W-w-what?
He wants Safinaz?
Now that's a laugh!
(?)...Efendi Father.
What?
Who do you think
you are talking to?
You babbling fruit!
There are two conditions.
Timur wants
Gulaysha for his warrior.
And Safinaz for me.
Y-you?
A daughter for you?
I wouldn't even
give a duck to you!
(gibberish)
Maybe you can give two chickens?
How about that?
Say goodbye
to your precious head then...
You have been warned!
H-he's leaving!
Good luck to you!
No... he's leaving!
He's leaving,
what do we do?
Please father,
accept his terms!
Y-you want a h-husband don't you?
Hodja Efendi! Alright I accept!
Safinaz is yours!
Congratulations Gulaysha,
you are set for life!
I wish you the same!
I'm leaving to,
you'll be left alone!
Oh, who cares...
I will find someone someday...
We are going to Timur's palace.
And Gulaysha is coming too.
Others can stay here.
I see.
Welcome Qadi Efendi.
My lord.
Qadi Efendi is here
to beg for forgiveness.
He wishes his life will be spared
He also brought
his dear daughter, Gulaysha.
We wish,
she can be
married to your warrior, Ahmed.
- Young Ahmed.
- Gulaysha.
Alright, Nasreddin Mollah.
I will spare Qadi's life.
And I accept his daughter
as a wife to my warrior!
So what do you wish,
Nasreddin Hodja?
Only your health, my lord.
Now if you will excuse me,
I have an urgent business.
What would that be?
My lord, I'm marrying,
Qadi Efendi's older daughter Safinaz.
You see...
I want to spend rest of my short life,
having pleasures!
Oh my...
Johnny is still alive and kicking?
He gets by, my lord.
Alright you are excused.
Don't make her
wait for too long.
Yes my lord.
Qadi Efendi, you are forgiven.
You will retain your position
as Qadi of Aksehir.
Long live my lord.
I won't disappoint you,
I will be a worthy Qadi.
If you ever
go back to your scheming ways,
or lie to anyone,
you will be executed!
Always remember that!
A-a-a-as you wish my lord!
From now on we are each other's.
Forgive me for running away.
You are already forgiven.
Why are you sitting backwards!
You donkey!
After my father dies,
I'll ride the donkey just like him!
God help me!
You idiot,
couldn't you have taken to me a little?
You are just like your father!
My father is coming,
with my new mother!
Oh my god. What happened!
He's taken an another wife!
He has gone mad!
Efendi!
Efendi, who is this woman?
I'll be heading home.
And she's coming as well?
Do not object!
Timur might not agree with you!
It wasn't my idea,
Timur forced me!
If you defy him,
he will execute you!
God damn you!
Come Safinaz...
Disgraceful bastard...
Why did
I expect any different?
My love...
(donkey) Safinaz huh,
this doesn't look good.
May you die in her arms!
My dear Safinaz...
You like your new mother?
She's can't be my mother!
Come with me my beloved...
You go ahead...
Safinaz, there's nobody around.
Lift your veil,
so that I can admire
your beautiful visage.
Let me lift it for you.
Don't be shy.
Sukriye? You again!
Oh my heart,
My god, I'm dying!
Hodja Nasreddin!
Nasreddin!
What happened, Nasreddin!
F-f-father!
He's dead.
Sukriye!
I'll kill you!
Come here, you dirty broad!
You have killed my
beloved husband of 40 years!
I will kill you!
Shame on you!
Beat her up!
Have you no dignity?
Stop!
Don't run!
You snake!
What do we do now?
Go to the town
and deliver the news.
Go my son!
Okay.
Hodja! Why did you
leave me alone?
Let's go this way.
This way is quicker.
This is a shortcut...
What's up?
He has risen from dead!
Hodja!
I used to take that
when I was alive.
What happened?
He is risen from dead, run!
Don't worry about me woman.
You go on home,
I will choose my own way.
I'll take my coffin and go.
M-mother, m-my father-
Be quiet you idiot!
Don't you see,
he is possessed!
THE END
(Hodja: Master, Scholar)
Written and Directed by
(singing)
Thank god, another day is over.
Might as well drop by
Hodja Efendi while I'm here.
See how he's doing.
(mumbling)
For God's sake
what are you doing?
I swear,
I'm not doing anything mom.
May God take pity on you!
You silly stupid boy!
You will never amount to anything!
Quick, get those!
You're really asking for it...
Be quick are you listening to me?
Mother please, don't hit me
I'll get to it just don't hurt me!
Get those clothes, quick!
Ow my ass!
Quickly!
I- I'm hanging them.
Go!
I'm going!
Cursed be you!
You feather-brain, not that way!
This way! Go, go!
O-o-okay, I'm here.
And what are you waiting for?
Hang those clothes!
He-he, here they go!
What are you doing?
You stupid boy!
You airhead!
You good for nothing!
What am I to do with you?
Damn you!
Take these and get to work!
Be quick!
T-there it is...
There, what else should I do?
(mocking)
What do I do now?
Shut up and sit down!
Greetings!
Salam aleykum.
Where did he come from?
I know...
What do you know?
From his mother's belly!
Oh is that what happened?
Curse you!
I've said, salam aleykum.
Aleykum selam.
Just what the hell do you want?
Where would the Hodja be?
Why do you care?
I've got couple of things
to say to him.
Why do we care?
Please milady.
Call him so I can speak with him.
It's very important.
I can tell by your looks!
I'll let him know, regardless.
You wait here
while I get your father.
(whispering) Keep an eye on him,
he could be a thief!
She's coming don't worry.
Hey, Efendi.
(respectful address, literally: sir, lord)
Get up!
Some bozo wants to see you.
Will you get up?
Quit yawning and get up!
Praised be the lord!
What are you talking about?
Stop dawdling and get up!
Who could it be?
Will you get up already?
Come on.
There.
There, that pesky pest!
Allah, Allah?
(can express surprise, confusion or fear)
Hey, visitor!
What do you want, out with it.
Hodja, would you please
come down here,
I need to speak with you.
Can't you speak from there?
Can't you walk down here
Hodja?
Allah, Allah...
Maybe there is
something to it...
Let's go down and have a look-see.
Take a look at his face and
see if you want to go down!
Don't go down
and stand here all day!
Alright, let's go.
Please visitor, say your piece,
what would it be?
I beg your pardon
You see,
I'm in a tough spot.
Could you spare a few coins,
if you feel generous.
In that case,
come upstairs.
This old fool,
why would he invite him upstairs?
What's that?
It's a camel.
May camels stomp you!
Please, this way.
Welcome.
Thank you Hodja Efendi.
Oh, that's right.
You wanted some spare change?
Ah, yes.
God bless you!
May God
shower you in riches!
Well in that case,
may God can give you the coins.
Alright then, farewell.
Good luck on your journeys.
Wouldn't have expected
this from your Hodja Efendi.
I'm a servant of God.
In that case you are
God's responsibility not mine.
Goodbye.
Come on, get a move on.
Find someone else to pester.
Couldn't you find
someone else to bother?
Take a walk so I can
take a good look at you.
Hang on,
how much did he give you?
He told me to ask God,
and send me off.
Really?
Good on him,
he can be smart once in a while!
Away with you now!
Corn?
Corn that's right,
took them from my father.
Take them, our gift to you.
God bless you my son.
From now on,
you are to feed the donkey.
No can do!
It's either you or nobody.
Listen to me old fool,
don't get me started!
Started? You don't ever stop!
Quiet now you dotard!
You couldn't have found
another fool to marry you!
Why did I settle for you?
I'm a beautiful woman!
I could have gotten any man
I've wanted!
You having a laugh?
Beat it!
But I don't want to.
And why?
I want to watch.
God help me!
Like your
father wasn't enough!
All she does is scolding me!
Why do I
have to get the water?
Does she think
I'm a pack mule?
Don't just sit there,
go feed the donkey.
Hold on, I have an idea.
We will both remain silent.
Whoever speaks first,
feeds the donkey!
Deal?
Not a bad idea.
Alright then sit right here,
so we can begin.
Alright.
I am set.
I don't have any strength left,
can't have a good night's sleep.
Salam aleykum.
(mouths) Shame on you.
I just want to sleep.
Sick of carrying water all day!
Here's the water mother.
Yea-
What should I do with it?
I think I understand...
You air-headed fool,
what did you do?
Aha! You've spoken!
Now go and feed the donkey!
Or I will divorce you, honest!
Look what you did.
Always getting me in trouble,
your father's bastard!
If you want I can get some more water
and pour it again?
Shut up before
I pour down some beating on you!
Go ahead, join her.
Yeah, that's it!
Come here.
So... Hodja
wants to see you tomorrow?
Yes, dear father.
Hodja wants to
have a night in marital chamber.
What? A fight in recital chamber?
No, a night in marital chamber.
Oh, I see.
Have a feast of animal supper!
Oh come on daddy.
He wants Safinaz.
He wants to marry her.
What?
Never!
Never ever ever!
I will never allow it,
not for a million years!
That's enough now, dance!
First Sukriye gets married
and then you.
Safinaz...
My Safinaz...
Come to me my dear Safinaz.
My love.
You are my soul!
Embrace me, don't be shy.
Oh Hodja, don't.
My name is not Safinaz.
Safinaz my dear beloved, come.
Don't be shy.
Don't, stop!
You're tickling me!
My darling...
Oh you're killing me!
My Safinaz!
What did you say?
Listen to me!
Who is this Safinaz, tell me!
Don't touch me!
Safinaz, my cupcake!
Apple cheeks, cherry lips!
My quince chinned baby!
Don't touch me, damn you!
Safinaz...
Stop before you get hurt!
Who is this Safinaz!
Tell me!
Don't hit me darling.
Oh, let me explain.
Tell me!
Honestly,
this is a misunderstanding.
Are you having me on?
You better tell me the truth
or you'll regret it!
I'll break your bones!
Oh no!
I will explain.
It's all that deaf Qadi's fault.
He's insisting that
I marry his daughter!
And what was your response?
I don't really want Sukriye
but I can for Safinaz!
I've told him I'll let my wife my know,
she's a reasonable woman,
she will understand.
Oh you done did it now!
Get up before I kill you!
Get outta here!
You shameful bastard!
Oh, don't hit me woman!
Shut up!
I will rip you apart!
What's this racket,
what happened?
Look who's asking.
Oh nothing.
We just got a bit too passionate.
She kicked my robe
away and it rolled down the stairs!
Would a robe rolling
over make a racket like that?
Don't you get it?
I was wearing the robe!
Shame on you!
Still badmouthing me?
Do you expect help
from that good-for-nothing?
I'll tear you to pieces!
Go to sleep!
Get out of there,
I don't care what happens to you!
You're never coming back here!
You fool,
don't you open your mouth!
Please my dear, stop.
Don't hit me.
Get out of here right now
or I'll break your bones!
You too, what are you doing?
Are you enjoying the show?
Just go to bed!
I've had it with you two!
Disgraceful bastards!
What are you looking at?
Asking for a beating?
Just go to sleep!
Don't make me come there!
Don't you look at me!
D-d-d-dad!
Mom!
Mother wake up!
Father is sleeping on the donkey!
What did you say?
...sleeping on the donkey!
May god help me,
we'll be the talk of town!
God help me. Move.
Let's get going.
What did I do to deserve this?
Oh my god!
What is it?
Get down from there!
No, I won't!
Efendi, come to your senses.
We'll be the talk of town,
don't you have any dignity?
Okay. I will come down.
But only on one condition.
What would that be?
Only if you accept Qadi's daughter.
Lord help me!
I don't anyone else!
Let me know
If you've lost your marbles!
In that case,
let me know when you change your mind
Don't you look at me!
If that is what you wish,
after 40 years of marriage.
I will accept it.
Finally, we're on the same page.
I'm going to
have a new mother!
You really are a wise woman.
Safinaz will only
be a temporary diversion.
You are
the crowning jewel of my heart!
Oh my beloved wife!
Get the donkey ready.
As you wish Efendi father.
Hodja Efendi?
Where are you headed?
I'll be visiting
the Qadi Efendi. (sharia judge)
What business
do you have with the Qadi?
I'll ask for his daughter's hand.
Good luck.
Mashallah, mashallah.
Hodja Efendi, I've noticed...
Why are you
riding on the donkey backwards?
You should face forward.
That won't do.
If I sat forward
you'd be left behind me.
I wouldn't be able to face you.
This is the logical way.
Good day to you.
Allah, Allah...
He's a piece of work...
We're here father.
Help me down son.
Hold on. I'm coming.
Good day, Hodja Efendi.
Is your father home?
He's down by the garden.
Would you take me there, sweet child?
Sure, Hodja Efendi.
You wait for a while.
Looks like we only have each other.
Serve me ayran. (yoghurt drink)
One who serves ayran
will have bright kismet.
None of you have boyfriends.
We need to find
you girls good husbands.
You like it father?
Oh, I'm dying!
Is it cold?
May you have good kismet.
Oh, I'm dying!
Hodja Efendi is coming.
Efendi! Welcome!
Hodja Nasreddin Efendi!
You have honored us
with your presence!
I thought I'd drop by
and have a little chat.
Efendi! Welcome!
What an honor!
Wouldn't want to impose.
Oh please! Please, join us!
I was just passing by,
thought I'd pay a visit.
What is it?
My little daughter?
Gulaysha she's over there
but she's a bit too young.
I'm not asking about her!
I was saying, how are you doing?
Oh, I see.
So, Timur's hordes...
It was horrifying Hodja Efendi.
All those soldiers were charging
towards us...
There was nothing to do
but to pray!
We were sitting ducks!
I want to
have a word with you Qadi Efendi!
Why are you screaming?
You think I'm deaf?
You hurt my ear.
I'm asking for your
daughter's hand in marriage.
Which one?
Safinaz.
Right, Sukriye. Sure Hodja.
We can arrange that.
Listen to me, I've said Safinaz!
I want Safinaz!
Thanks. So what price
do you have in mind?
A donkey's hair!
You deaf!
How much gold do you want?
100 gold pieces!
I'll give you
100 gold pieces for Safinaz.
And I'll gladly give you Safinaz!
Would you give her mother too?
I would.
I can give something for her as well.
Maybe I can throw
in the grandmother as well?
He's selling his entire family!
I only want Safinaz.
I'm not giving her mother.
And I'm not taking her mother.
You're a laugh. Alright...
So you only want my daughter.
So it's a deal.
I will deliver the girl to you
tomorrow morning.
You make the arrangements,
I'll be waiting for you
tomorrow morning.
Let's shake on it.
Cheers!
Oh, I'm dying!
Oh, I'm dying! Go ahead.
Give me some,
let me die a bit as well!
So you didn't die after all.
I'm used to it.
Welcome, you've brought such joy!
My dear, most precious Efendi.
Nice to see you!
I've brought my daughter
to your house.
We've performed the rituals
You are a Hodja after all.
Take good care of her!
Go ahead.
Long live Efendi! It's an honor!
Please, don't mention it.
Come here my Safinaz.
My snowflake, my twinkle!
My dearest baby!
May god protect...
...against the evil eye.
Protect us
against the evil eye, Mashallah!
You slimy snake!
You reptile!
You are really asking for it now!
Get out of here!
Enjoying your dance?
Whose side are you on?
Beat it!
Curses!
My beloved. Don't be shy go ahead.
You'll be pleased with me.
Maybe not at first,
but in due time.
This is our bed, my Sultan!
Safinaz, my Sultan, show me your face.
Please, don't be shy.
Lift your veil.
I understand, you are shy.
I will lift it myself.
What?
Sukriye? You again?
Get out!
It's me but I-
Quick, get out!
Go to your father!
Go to your cheating father!
Qadi Efendi, listen here!
Take her away,
I don't want a cross-eyed girl!
And that's my final word!
What's he saying?
You cheat!
I don't want a cross-eyed woman,
you've tricked me!
So, you're all done, huh?
You scamming Qadi,
my day will come
and you'll pay for this!
Hodja is pretty fast huh,
Mashallah!
You get what you deserve!
Did you really expect
to marry a 18 year old girl?
Woman!
Love is blind,
you can fall for this or that!
Don't get me started on...
You disgraceful Qadi!
How will you pay
for what you have done?
M-Me? D-disgraceful? H-how dare you?
Seize him!
Get him!
Set him down for a beating!
You cursed Qadi!
Even if you beat me
I have made my decision!
I will enjoy this!
You dirty woman!
I don't want her.
Harder!
Oh, this is brilliant!
What are you looking at
you dumb broad!
You have been rejected!
Hit harder.
Faster!
Qadi Efendi!
Timur's soldier's are coming,
I barely made it!
What are you talking about?
Timur's destroying and pillaging
every town in his path!
Just yesterday,
Nevsehir's Qadi was executed!
And the guards too!
What?
We're in trouble! Hurry!
Get ready we're leaving!
Quick, hurry up!
Having fun?
Hurry, we're leaving.
You've ruined everything!
Go!
Woman...
This is your doing.
Quit whining!
How dare you
reject her at your age?
Please be quiet,
don't upset me.
I know I've been wrong.
This is all my fault.
I've been letting you
get away with too much!
You've gone mad!
No more of that,
from this point on!
Woman don't push me!
Or I'll get myself bit by a rabid dog!
And I'll get so mad
you'll look for a place to hide!
May dogs tear you to shreds!
Why am I even bothering?
Damn you!
Don't laugh!
Safinaz, hurry!
Let's run away before
Timur makes it!
What's going on?
Conqueror Timur is on his way!
We need to avoid him!
Where's Gulaysha?
She went to the lake,
she's yet to return!
Oh no, we're toast!
Find her, quick!
Go, go!
Don't be afraid of me.
This is love at first sight,
my heart is yours now!
Don't run,
I mean no harm.
Let me go stranger!
Who are you!
Where did you come from?
I can't be yours!
Don't be afraid,
I'm one of Timur's commanders!
He's a powerful emperor,
If you were to accept
he can bring us together.
Please let me go,
If my father hears this he will lose it!
Why?
I can't help you!
Where could she be?
I'm about to lose it...
Tell me where is she?
Tell me before I kill you!
I don't know!
Timur's soldiers are almost here!
They will cut my throat!
You tell me!
Or I'll kill you!
Shut up!
They show no respect
to their father!
Timur's soldiers are about to
come and take my life!
I'd rather
have two sacks of barley over you!
You are a disgrace!
Are you not worried?
They will take my head!
And maybe you will cry tears of joy!
Dad!
Daddy!
Look at your state!
Escaping from bathhouse?
I'm running from
one of the commanders of Timur!
I think he is looking for you!
Oh no!
I'm t-t-toast!
T-they have f-found me
t-they want my h-head!
I'm dead!
Oh my girls,
let's run away from here!
Hide me!
I'm dead, I'm finished!
Hey, where are you going!
Wait. Wait a bit.
There's the man!
Oh my god!
P-p-please s-s-save...
...m-m-my skin!
Efendi father, don't be afraid.
I mean no harm.
I only want
your beautiful daughter.
W-what you only want my head?
No, I won't
No, not your head efendi.
I'm a commander of great Timur!
My god, please protect us!
Don't come near me!
My majesty wants me to marry,
I'm asking for your daughter.
Don't come near me!
God, protect us!
I'm too young to die!
Let's run!
Protect me!
Run...
Our paths will cross someday...
Gulaysha you will be mine.
Hodja,
can you lend me
your piece of rope?
I cannot do that.
Why?
They've laid flour on the rope.
I don't understand, what?
Flour!
Oh Hodja,
is that even possible?
Why are you laughing?
When one doesn't want to
give the rope away
anything is possible!
Alright then.
Maybe you can ride into
town to get some rope,
if you can lend me your donkey.
That would be fine, except...
the donkey
is not here at the moment.
Where did the donkey go?
The donkey is at a meeting.
Allah, Allah...
Never heard of donkeys
going to a meeting!
What rock
you've been living under?
Donkey's nowadays
often arrange meetings!
That son of a donkey!
You told me
donkey wasn't here!
Indeed I did.
And who's
braying outside?
Such disrespect...
You see my turban and beard?
Who do you believe,
the donkey or me?
Get out of my sight,
donkey's not here!
Learn some manners!
Attention!
Allah, Allah...
Great conqueror. Timur.
Who are you,
how dare you stand in my way?
I'm just a villager,
Hodja Nasreddin.
You see who I am.
You are in the
presence of Emperor Timur!
Kneel before him!
So you are the great sultan Timur,
we welcome you to our village!
You gave me big scare!
I like you Hodja Nasreddin.
You speak beautifully,
I think we might get along.
Be that as it may...
What is it?
You look alright to me.
Don't make a decision
just by an impression.
I'm in dire
need of pair of panties.
What happened to
your old pair?
It might look fine from outside,
don't make me talk about the insides.
Hodja Nasreddin,
you are a witty one aren't you?
I want you in my palace.
I've taking a liking to you.
But my sultan-
You are coming
to the palace!
As you wish my sultan.
D-d-d-d-d-daddy's
g-g-g-going away.
To the palace.
I-I should t-tell my m-mother,
Come closer, Mullah Nasreddin.
Thank you my lord.
You look like a crafty one.
Yes, my sultan.
I have a couple of skills.
I want you to
come here daily.
Bring in the dancers.
Enjoy Hodja Efendi.
Thank you.
You might like it.
Sit down.
There is an important
issue we need to talk about.
If you resolve this problem,
I'll grant you anything
you wish!
I only wish
for your health, my sultan.
What kind of a job is this?
It is about love.
My bravest warrior Ahmed,
have fallen in love,
burning with desire.
It was love at first sight.
But now he lost her.
He is searching for her
day and night.
Yet,
she is nowhere to be found.
I want you to find her.
Your wish is my command,
my sultan.
If it is someone I know,
I'll find her immediately.
Alright then tell me,
where did you see this girl?
I will tell you.
I was in the forest,
riding on my horse.
That's when I've heard a beautiful voice
and I've went further into the forest.
And there she was,
the most beautiful girl in the lake,
with no clothes on her.
That dirty slut!
What was she doing there?
Oh Hodja
you are something else.
What could she be doing,
having a bath probably.
Oh, I see.
So what happened next?
I approached her to talk
but she run away.
I've followed her.
She has a father and two sisters.
When his father saw me,
he sent his men to attack me
and run away.
I have a question.
Yes?
Was the father deaf?
And he had weird ticks?
Let's see...
Yes.
One of his eyes,
were moving.
I know who he is!
I see whose daughters were they.
Hodja, tell us immediately!
I'll prepare an order!
And summon
them to my palace.
Yes, I'll go after them
with few of my men.
Hold on a second.
The father is an important Qadi.
The one you ordered to be killed,
the Qadi of Aksehir.
Oh...
They are
the daughters of my enemy?
He'll be executed immediately!
And his daughter
will marry the prince.
Tell me where he is
Mollah Nasreddin Hodja.
Please calm down my lord.
The truth is he is
a most despicable liar.
And he wronged me
in the past.
But you are a great emperor,
you can forgive this petty man.
And I will bring
his daughter to you.
Really, can you bring her?
We should leave immediately.
Alright Nasreddin Mollah.
Just because I like you,
I'll forgive the Qadi.
Find where he is
and ask for his daughter.
If they come here at once,
I will forgive him.
In that case
I should go now.
Do you where
they might be?
I will find them,
if I am lucky.
Excuse me.
Father.
The girls leaving.
Stay on their tail.
They gone into the house.
Is that so?
Get me down then.
Tie the donkey here.*
I will enter through the roof!
Let me look around.
I think I'll take the chimney,
instead of the door.
A bathhouse of angels.
Gulaysha, listen to me!
I have good news,
Timur has forgiven your father.
Really?
Yes, really.
And you are to marry the prince Ahmed.
The one you saw by the lake.
That handsome boy?
Yes, indeed.
You look excited!
Take me to your father, Gulaysha.
So we can deliver the news.
Quick!
I'll make myself spare
before I get into trouble.
W-w-what?
He wants Safinaz?
Now that's a laugh!
(?)...Efendi Father.
What?
Who do you think
you are talking to?
You babbling fruit!
There are two conditions.
Timur wants
Gulaysha for his warrior.
And Safinaz for me.
Y-you?
A daughter for you?
I wouldn't even
give a duck to you!
(gibberish)
Maybe you can give two chickens?
How about that?
Say goodbye
to your precious head then...
You have been warned!
H-he's leaving!
Good luck to you!
No... he's leaving!
He's leaving,
what do we do?
Please father,
accept his terms!
Y-you want a h-husband don't you?
Hodja Efendi! Alright I accept!
Safinaz is yours!
Congratulations Gulaysha,
you are set for life!
I wish you the same!
I'm leaving to,
you'll be left alone!
Oh, who cares...
I will find someone someday...
We are going to Timur's palace.
And Gulaysha is coming too.
Others can stay here.
I see.
Welcome Qadi Efendi.
My lord.
Qadi Efendi is here
to beg for forgiveness.
He wishes his life will be spared
He also brought
his dear daughter, Gulaysha.
We wish,
she can be
married to your warrior, Ahmed.
- Young Ahmed.
- Gulaysha.
Alright, Nasreddin Mollah.
I will spare Qadi's life.
And I accept his daughter
as a wife to my warrior!
So what do you wish,
Nasreddin Hodja?
Only your health, my lord.
Now if you will excuse me,
I have an urgent business.
What would that be?
My lord, I'm marrying,
Qadi Efendi's older daughter Safinaz.
You see...
I want to spend rest of my short life,
having pleasures!
Oh my...
Johnny is still alive and kicking?
He gets by, my lord.
Alright you are excused.
Don't make her
wait for too long.
Yes my lord.
Qadi Efendi, you are forgiven.
You will retain your position
as Qadi of Aksehir.
Long live my lord.
I won't disappoint you,
I will be a worthy Qadi.
If you ever
go back to your scheming ways,
or lie to anyone,
you will be executed!
Always remember that!
A-a-a-as you wish my lord!
From now on we are each other's.
Forgive me for running away.
You are already forgiven.
Why are you sitting backwards!
You donkey!
After my father dies,
I'll ride the donkey just like him!
God help me!
You idiot,
couldn't you have taken to me a little?
You are just like your father!
My father is coming,
with my new mother!
Oh my god. What happened!
He's taken an another wife!
He has gone mad!
Efendi!
Efendi, who is this woman?
I'll be heading home.
And she's coming as well?
Do not object!
Timur might not agree with you!
It wasn't my idea,
Timur forced me!
If you defy him,
he will execute you!
God damn you!
Come Safinaz...
Disgraceful bastard...
Why did
I expect any different?
My love...
(donkey) Safinaz huh,
this doesn't look good.
May you die in her arms!
My dear Safinaz...
You like your new mother?
She's can't be my mother!
Come with me my beloved...
You go ahead...
Safinaz, there's nobody around.
Lift your veil,
so that I can admire
your beautiful visage.
Let me lift it for you.
Don't be shy.
Sukriye? You again!
Oh my heart,
My god, I'm dying!
Hodja Nasreddin!
Nasreddin!
What happened, Nasreddin!
F-f-father!
He's dead.
Sukriye!
I'll kill you!
Come here, you dirty broad!
You have killed my
beloved husband of 40 years!
I will kill you!
Shame on you!
Beat her up!
Have you no dignity?
Stop!
Don't run!
You snake!
What do we do now?
Go to the town
and deliver the news.
Go my son!
Okay.
Hodja! Why did you
leave me alone?
Let's go this way.
This way is quicker.
This is a shortcut...
What's up?
He has risen from dead!
Hodja!
I used to take that
when I was alive.
What happened?
He is risen from dead, run!
Don't worry about me woman.
You go on home,
I will choose my own way.
I'll take my coffin and go.
M-mother, m-my father-
Be quiet you idiot!
Don't you see,
he is possessed!
THE END