Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed: The Rock Special (2022) - full transcript
- Good morning, naked mole rats!
Yeah!
- Are you ready
to rock the tunnel?
- Yeah!
- Can you dig it?
Yeah!
- Because that's
what Grand-Mah did.
She dug this tunnel
with her bare teeth
to make us
a rockin' underground home!
And that's why we're here
to rock the Morning Song!
Um.
And... and?
Mole rats!
- I'm going out tonight,
and I don't have
a thing to wear.
- Isn't it great?
- Yeah!
- Living in your skin?
Let me be your advisor.
No matter where you've been,
you'll need some moisturizer.
- Yeah!
- That's the way you got
to roll when you're...
- Naked mole facts.
- Mole facts!
- Okay, I've got
three questions for y'all.
Anybody in this tunnel
a little bit mole?
Yeah!
- Anybody in this
tunnel a little bit rat?
Yeah!
- Anybody in this tunnel
all naked?
Yeah!
- Let's give 'em the skinny.
- Thank you, every-mole.
Have a rockin',
very naked day in the tunnels,
and we'll see you tonight
for the Evening Song!
- You know
what I love about this place?
No shirt, no shoes...
Service!
- Exactly.
Catch you
at the Evening Song tonight?
- Oh, for sure.
I love underground music.
- Dude, we are just
like this tunnel.
Am I right, Tall?
- How so, Venti?
- We are made of rock.
- Yeah.
- Whoa, yeah!
- Oh, yeah.
- Hold up.
Didn't you guys notice
something missing
during the Morning Song?
- Yeah. Our clothes!
Dude.
- Whoa, yeah!
- Oh, yeah.
- I'm talking
about Wilbur J. Molerat.
- Oh, yeah. Weird, huh?
- Wilbur's never missed
the Morning Song.
- No mole has.
He's our band buddy,
but I hope Grand-Mah
doesn't find out.
For our sake.
- Dudes,
I'll bet no mole noticed.
- News flash, every mole noticed
that The Moleing Stones band
was missing something
Wilbur J. Mole Rat, Jr.
Gah!
- My name is Stark Naked
because I'm stark naked.
You'll just have
to trust me on that.
Questions.
Where was Wilbur?
What would Grand-Mah say?
And what is
the band doing about it?
Ahh!
- We got to find Wilbur.
- And now,
Les Pants with the weather.
Take it away, Les.
- Today's weather is gonna be...
exactly the same as every
other day, Stark.
Our colony's located
inside a tunnel,
so it's not like anything's
gonna fall out of the sky.
Indeed.
- I don't even know
why this job exists.
- No one does.
And that's the naked truth.
Thanks for watching DNN,
the
"Definitely Naked Network."
This is DNN.
- I wish the weather
could change.
I wish there was more to being
a mole rat than just rocking.
I mean, I get it.
The tunnel is rock,
so we're supposed to rock.
But sometimes it's hard rock,
and I, Wilbur J. Molerat, Jr.,
think that there must be
more to the fabric of life.
Like every-mole being 100% naked
500% of the time.
It's boring and chilly.
Ooh.
Sure, the Weather Mole says
nothing falls out of the sky
when you live in a tunnel,
but imagine if it could!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ah!
Whoa. Whoa!
Huh?
Ah!
What is that?
Oh, wow!
Oh!
Eek!
A shirt!
Here in the dirt.
Oh, yeah!
Why not find out?
Whoa.
Oh!
Ooh!
- Look.
- Whoa!
- Wilbur?
Hey, Wilbur?
Wilbur, dude, where are you?
- Come on out, Wilbur.
We're looking for you.
- Ah!
- He's not here.
- Or here.
- He's not in
Grand-Mahs-R-Us either.
But check out these cool
Grand-Mah pillows I bought.
- Sweet. I got these balloons.
- Um, how about
a little less shopping,
and a little more
looking for Wilbur?
- Oh, yeah.
Wilbur? Hey, Wilbur?
- Shopping later?
- Ugh! Come on.
- Wilbur?
- Dude!
- Wilbur?
- Wilbur?
I don't get it.
He's got to be around
here somewhere.
- Ah!
- Dude.
- What?
Is there something in my teeth?
- We didn't just see
what we just saw, did we?
- Dude, no way.
- Hmm. How's it looking?
- Oh, yeah, you're good.
- Thanks, Wilbur.
Boy, ever since
I got these braces,
everything gets stuck
in my... ahh!
- I'm getting dressed.
Hubba-wha?
- What? Did you say sandals?
- What about plaid?
- Blegh!
- How 'bout stockings?
Ugh!
- Thanks.
- Ah!
- Drummers look great
in tassels.
Eek!
- So you don't think
it's a good idea then?
- Is he wearing clothes?
- I'm out of here.
- Okay, I get it.
This isn't a great look
for the band,
but I like a simple
business casual ensemble.
- Is "business casual"
an oxymoron?
- Eh.
- Doesn't matter.
Wilbur, you're a rocking
naked mole rat.
Why under-earth
would you ever, ever, ever,
ever want to do...
that?
- It's just, um,
I guess I found out
that I discovered
that there's more to life
than living under a rock,
or even rockin' under a rock.
- Hubba-wha?
- Wearing clothes...
Well, I mean...
It's really fun.
- Ah!
- For me.
- Oh, sure.
Sure, sure. That's great.
I mean,
if you like clothes so much,
why don't you just
open a clothing store
or something?
- Dude.
- A store?
- Do you really think
Wilbur should open a store?
- No.
I was being sarcastic.
You moles wouldn't know sarcasm
if it bit you on the tail.
- Sarcasm can bite you
on the tail?
- Of course it can't.
I was being sarcastically
sarcastic about sarcasm!
- Oh.
- Oh... don't get it.
- A clothing store.
- Wilbur!
Look, we've been
friends forever.
The band needs you
to stop playing dress-up
and start playing music
for tonight's Evening Song.
- Dude.
- Yeah.
- Well, what should I wear?
- Your birthday suit!
- Duh.
- Now come on, we're heading
back to the arena.
- Suit.
Ugh.
- A mole rat with clothes?
I've never seen
such a thing in all my days.
- Hey, Wilbur,
we should get going.
- Oh, I'm going...
to open a store.
Ooh!
Right here in Tunnel Square.
A store with hats
and all kinds of clothes!
A place where every-mole
can come and try wearing
whatever they feel like.
And I'll call it "Hats...
And More."
"Hats and More!" Oh-oh!
Imagine.
Naked mole rats
won't be able to resist
once they hear my catchy jingle.
La la la la la la la...
- It's the only fashion
in the colony!
- Whoo!
Watch this.
Whee!
Hats...
and More!
Whoo! Ha! Ha!
Whoa!
- Take a peek.
- Lose that frown.
- We'll dress you chic.
- Innovative.
- And creative.
- Decorated.
- Sophisticated.
- Highly rated.
- Parking validated.
- Who could hate it?
Yay, me!
Hmm.
If only my new store
had some clothes.
Hooray!
Now every-mole will love
my Hats and More store.
And once they try on this
or this or this,
they'll be happier.
Mm.
I am.
I can't think of
a single solitary,
itty, bitty, little thing
that can possibly
go wrong with this plan.
A clothing store?
- Ooh, look,
a potential customer.
Welcome!
- A mole rat wearing
c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-clothes?
- You're very good at running.
It looks like you could
use some sneakers.
What do you think?
They scream, "Fun!"
But whisper, "Sophisticated."
- I'm telling everyone!
- What a nice mole,
spreading the news
about my store like that.
- Ah!
- A one, a two, a...
- Ah!
- What was that?
- News flash.
Clothes are reportedly
falling from the sky.
- Questions!
Is this real or just fake nudes?
And more importantly,
who is to blame?
Answers!
Tails are pointing at a certain
non-naked naked mole rat
who has opened
a clothing store
in the town square.
Opinion!
If that mole rat has any
friends or true band mates...
Ah!
- They'd better set him straight
before the colony gets
completely dressed out...
I mean, stressed out.
Ah!
- Dude, we got to stop Wilbur.
- But we already tried telling
him not to wear clothes.
- And we took him
to the Moleseum.
- Maybe something
a little more grand
might knock his socks off.
For good.
- I hope Venti, Tall,
and Grande stop by.
They have no idea
what's in store for them.
But I do.
Clothes!
- There he is.
Wilbur!
- Hello.
- What under-earth
do you think you're doing?
- I'm having a sale.
- Ooh. I do love a sale.
- Sale is over,
Wilbur J. Molerat.
- Ah!
- Sorry.
- Come with us.
- Oh.
Are you looking for an in-home
clothing consultation?
Because I think
something flouncy
would really take the edge off
of the "business in the front,
business in the back"
attitude you're rocking.
- Enough!
- Ah!
- Sorry.
- Tall?
- On it.
- Whoa!
- It is time to restore
your tunnel vision.
- It is?
- Wow. Look at that.
- He sure looks
like he's in trouble.
- Is that mole rat
wearing clothes?
- W-where are we going?
- We're going to get
you help, Wilbur.
- Help?
- Help.
- Quiet. We're here.
Help.
- Wilbur, look
at this monument of Grand-Mah.
Grand-Mah.
- Oh, yeah, Grand-Mah.
- No.
Grand-Mah.
Grand-Mah.
- Grand-Mah.
- Wilbur.
Let the grand nakedness
of Grand-Mah's statue
remind you of how she carved
this entire tunnel
with her teeth.
- Or of how she created
our colony with her bare...
And I mean bare... hands.
- Or of other cool stuff
she does and has done
that I'm pretty sure we
all know about, so, uh... dude.
- I want you to gaze upon that
and ask yourself what Grand-Mah
would do if she saw you.
- You want me to put myself
in her shoes?
- No!
We want you to put yourself
in her bare, fleshy feet.
I mean, just look at her
in big statue form.
- You know what, Grande?
You're right.
Grand-Mah does look great.
- Dude.
- Grand-Mah does look regal.
- Yes!
- Grand-Mah does
look magnificent!
- That's my bandmate.
- But she'd look even better
in a casual shirt
and some summer slacks.
Argh!
- After a certain age,
slacks flatter.
Wilbur!
Naked mole rats
don't wear clothes!
- Owwie.
You hurt my...
feelings.
- Freeze!
- Aw, and now my pants
are all dirty.
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
- Pssht! Goose Flesh,
this is Long Tooth.
We've got a dresser.
Belly button not visible.
I need backup!
- Hoo!
- Ha!
- Ha!
- Tails where we can see 'em!
- Sweet epidermis!
He's wearing c-c-c-c-c-c...
- Get ahold of yourself, rookie.
- I don't believe this.
I am just wearing clothes!
- What's that? What's going on?
- Now you've done it.
- Done what?
- You got Big Tail's attention.
- B-B-Big Tail? Who's that?
- That's a codename.
- For Grand-Mah.
Now stand back
as I expound upon the glory
of her authority,
profundity, and nudity.
- Wow.
That is one intense mole.
- Dude.
- I don't feel so good
about this.
- This is not
what I was expecting.
- What's gonna happen to us?
- What's gonna happen to me?
You might want to kneel.
- Kneeling.
- Kneeling.
- Kneeling.
- Kneeling!
- Maybe bringing Wilbur here
wasn't such a good idea.
- Dude, it wasn't my idea.
Ooh...
What's with all the racket?
I can barely hear myself
being naked.
- Uh, um. Oh!
Great Grand-Mah.
- Great Grand-Mah?
My mommy's here?
- Uh, no.
- "Great"
as in "very impressive."
- Oh.
Huh?
- We come before you today
to present something
so terribly g-g-guh-guh
that it will make your skin
go all n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nuh!
- Sounds serious.
What's the problem?
Him!
- Um, your
Grand-Mah-ness-ness... ness.
- At ease.
What's the problem with him?
- Grand-Mah...
- Wilbur is...
- Wearing clothes.
- Oh, is that the...
Hubba-wha?
Wilbur, is this true?
Are you wearing something?
- It's business casual, ma'am.
- Business casual's an oxymoron.
- Knew it.
Either you're working
or you're hanging out.
- Seriously. You can't do both.
Anyway, why are
you wearing clothes, Wilbur?
- Yeah, why?
- Why?
- Why?
- Why?
Why?
- Dude.
- Well, um, you see,
I thought...
why not?
- Why not?
Why not?
Did you just say to me,
to my face,
the face of the greatest
great, as in very impressive,
Grand-Mah,
most stupendously,
fantastic naked mole rat
in the history
of naked mole rats,
which, by the way, includes
some very impressive
individuals,
all of whom were as naked
as the day they were born
until the day they died,
did you just say "Why not?"
- Yes.
- That's it!
I am going to make
a very big decision,
so gather the entire colony.
The entire colony?
The entire colony?
- The entire colony?
- Is there an echo
in this tunnel?
Gather the entire colony
so that I can announce a...
A thing you say,
that is really,
really important,
in a very dramatic way
in public.
- A tweet?
- A proclamation!
Wilbur, go to your room
while I decide
what to do about you
and your new ideas.
- Gulp.
- This proclamation
is gonna be a really,
really, really big deal.
A really, really,
really big deal?
- Seriously.
The echo thing is killing me.
- Grand-Mah?
- Yes?
- Before you go,
I have something for you.
- What is that?
- A thinking cap
to help you think.
It's fun, right?
Ooh, I think she really likes
the hat I gave her.
- Oh, Wilbur, you're doomed.
- Grand-Mah made
the announcement
and soon will make
a pronouncement.
- Grand-Mah's made
the announcement,
and soon she'll make
a pronouncement!
- Mm.
- Come on.
- This just in. Socks!
That's right.
The sky is falling with fashion.
They're having reports
of jackets, skirts,
shorts, and even white pants.
And it's after Labor Day!
- Question.
How is this happening?
Answer. Who knows?
Question. Who can we blame?
Answer. Wilbur J. Molerat!
Ah!
What do I do?
Oh.
- Wilbur?
- Is it time already?
- Uh-huh.
- We don't think
Grand-Mah's proclamation
is gonna be good for you,
Wilbur.
The colony just isn't
ready for all of...
uh, this.
- But this is me.
We were afraid
you might say that.
- So we got you this.
- Aww.
It matches my outfit.
- Ugh, Mole, that's not why
we got you luggage.
Look.
We're your friends,
so we got your back,
even with a shirt on it.
- But what if Grand-Mah
isn't "fashion forward"?
- Dude.
- Wilbur, if you won't go
to the proclamation
without clothes,
then just go.
Go somewhere overground
where you can do...
Where you can, you know...
Be you.
- Wilbur, do the right thing.
- But...
I miss Wilbur already.
- Me too.
- There was nothing else
I could do for Wilbur.
Nothing else we could do.
- Really?
- Look, if he'd been smart,
Wilbur would've just
stayed naked.
There's no way
Grand-Mah's proclamation
was gonna go well for him.
I guess we don't have
to worry about that
since Wilbur's leaving.
- Yeah.
Every mole rat
in the colony's gonna show up
for Grand-Mah's
big proclamation about him,
and he won't even be there.
Dude, Grand-Mah's gonna be mad.
Yeah.
At us.
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah, there's something
we need to tell you
about... Wilbur?
Hello.
- You're here.
Dude, you've got to... wait,
you're not wearing a shirt.
- And you're not wearing pants.
- And you're not wearing...
Ah! What are those?
- Socks.
I tried to be like every mole,
but then I got cold feet.
- Wilbur, you've got
to get out of here.
The crowd is starting to murmur.
- Murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
- She's right.
- You know what?
Let 'em.
I, Wilbur "Jumpsuit"
Mole-Rat Jr.,
am just as mole rat
as you or Venti
or Tall or any mole,
so I get to stay right here
and listen
to Grand-Mah's proclamation
just like any mole
in argyle socks.
- Dude.
That...
Is so beautiful.
Wilbur!
Ah!
- Socks are clothes!
Wearing them at Grand-Mah's
big proclamation...
That's like if I was wearing
a, I don't know,
an elegant pantsuit...
With a matching fancy hat...
Creating a fashionable ensemble
that was both amazing
and age appropriate!
Um, thanks for the support,
but that reaction's
over the top,
don't you think?
- Not that.
That!
Ah!
- I don't believe it!
- Dude!
- That's what I was gonna say.
Is that an elegant pantsuit
Grand-Mah's wearing?
- I don't know what to think
about that amazing
and age-appropriate attire.
- I'm so confused!
- My fellow naked mole rats,
I have never worn clothes
until I heard Wilbur J.
Mole Rat Jr.'s simple question.
"Why not?"
Why not, indeed?
Wilbur, do clothes hurt anyone?
- No.
- Are they fun?
- They are for me.
Exactly!
Clothes can be fun.
And while they may
not be for every-mole,
this old naked mole rat
wishes she had tried
getting dressed earlier!
Us too.
- What is that?
What is that?
- Don't get your tails
in a knot.
These clothes
falling from the sky
for some insufficiently
explained reason,
they're not a crisis.
They are an opportunity!
- Okay.
- So here's my officially
official proclamation.
Feeling fancy?
Try some pants-y.
Want to make a racket?
How 'bout a jacket?
Still can't take it?
No problem. Stay naked.
All you really have to do
is ask, "Why not?"
- Why not?
- Why not?
- That's the thought.
Ask yourself, "Why not?"
Why not?
Why not?
- If it hurts someone...
- Don't do it.
- If it's fun...
- Get to it.
- So when you're on the spot,
just ask yourself, "Why not?"
- If it's fun, then get to it.
- Can I try a "Why not?"
- Well, let's hear it,
young mole.
- What if I did this?
- That was neither
rock nor roll.
- That wasn't even
"easy listening."
- "Easy listening"
is another oxymoron.
Like "smart phone."
Uh-huh.
- Never really thought
about it that way.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
But it didn't hurt anyone,
did it?
- Um, nope.
Nope.
- I guess not.
- So that means...
- Don't do it.
- If it's fun...
Get to it!
- Why not?
Whew.
- Eh, I never thought
that statue
captured my essence anyway.
- Phew.
- Not like this
proclamation ensemble, huh?
You know it.
Whoa! Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- Seriously.
You would totally
rock the runway
in a mole rat fashion show.
- A mole rat fashion show?
A mole rat fashion show?
Ugh...
Why... not?
- You're getting it.
Mole rats,
let's rock our pants on
for the Evening Song!
- Do these pants make
my tail look big?
- Eh.
- Good evening, naked
and not-so-naked mole rats!
Are you ready
to rock the tunnel?
Yeah!
- Can you dig it?
Whoo!
- You bet you can.
Ha-ha.
Hit it, Wilbur!
- A-one! A-two!
A-one, two, three!
Ugh!
- Shake it, Grand-Mah,
but don't break it!
- I'm okay!
Whee!
- Dude, if you told me yesterday
that the fashion show would
rock, I would've said, dude.
But now that I'm in one,
I'm like, dude!
- I know.
We're ready, Wilbur.
- Then let's rock it.
Whoo-hoo, that tickles!
- This is Stark Naked
reporting for PNN,
the "Possibly Naked Network."
News flash.
I'm wearing pants!
You'll just have
to trust me on that.
- Wilbur, is it possible
for me to stay naked
and still be
in your fashion show?
- Grande,
I have two words for you.
Why not?
- Yay!
- Ha-ha! Look at me.
I'm wearing a birthday suit
designed by my biological genes.
- I can still see
your belly button!
- Come on, everybody.
I'm talking to you out there.
Get off your tails and show off
your fashion moves!
You're part of our
fashion show too.
- Yeah!
- So let me get this straight.
You were driving
a delivery truck
full of doll clothes for fun
when, out of nowhere,
you saw a duckling with
a hot dog crossing the road.
So you swerved to avoid it,
which made you crash
into this particular ditch
and spilled an entire load
of teeny, tiny clothes
into that hole over there?
- Happens to my cousin Herb
all the time.
- I'm gonna need
to see your license.
- About that...
Hey, is that a police car?
Whoo-hoo!
- Not again.
No! Come back here!
Mole rats!
- Yeow! Rock 'n' roll!
- Yeah-ho! Whoo-hoo!
Yeah!
- Are you ready
to rock the tunnel?
- Yeah!
- Can you dig it?
Yeah!
- Because that's
what Grand-Mah did.
She dug this tunnel
with her bare teeth
to make us
a rockin' underground home!
And that's why we're here
to rock the Morning Song!
Um.
And... and?
Mole rats!
- I'm going out tonight,
and I don't have
a thing to wear.
- Isn't it great?
- Yeah!
- Living in your skin?
Let me be your advisor.
No matter where you've been,
you'll need some moisturizer.
- Yeah!
- That's the way you got
to roll when you're...
- Naked mole facts.
- Mole facts!
- Okay, I've got
three questions for y'all.
Anybody in this tunnel
a little bit mole?
Yeah!
- Anybody in this
tunnel a little bit rat?
Yeah!
- Anybody in this tunnel
all naked?
Yeah!
- Let's give 'em the skinny.
- Thank you, every-mole.
Have a rockin',
very naked day in the tunnels,
and we'll see you tonight
for the Evening Song!
- You know
what I love about this place?
No shirt, no shoes...
Service!
- Exactly.
Catch you
at the Evening Song tonight?
- Oh, for sure.
I love underground music.
- Dude, we are just
like this tunnel.
Am I right, Tall?
- How so, Venti?
- We are made of rock.
- Yeah.
- Whoa, yeah!
- Oh, yeah.
- Hold up.
Didn't you guys notice
something missing
during the Morning Song?
- Yeah. Our clothes!
Dude.
- Whoa, yeah!
- Oh, yeah.
- I'm talking
about Wilbur J. Molerat.
- Oh, yeah. Weird, huh?
- Wilbur's never missed
the Morning Song.
- No mole has.
He's our band buddy,
but I hope Grand-Mah
doesn't find out.
For our sake.
- Dudes,
I'll bet no mole noticed.
- News flash, every mole noticed
that The Moleing Stones band
was missing something
Wilbur J. Mole Rat, Jr.
Gah!
- My name is Stark Naked
because I'm stark naked.
You'll just have
to trust me on that.
Questions.
Where was Wilbur?
What would Grand-Mah say?
And what is
the band doing about it?
Ahh!
- We got to find Wilbur.
- And now,
Les Pants with the weather.
Take it away, Les.
- Today's weather is gonna be...
exactly the same as every
other day, Stark.
Our colony's located
inside a tunnel,
so it's not like anything's
gonna fall out of the sky.
Indeed.
- I don't even know
why this job exists.
- No one does.
And that's the naked truth.
Thanks for watching DNN,
the
"Definitely Naked Network."
This is DNN.
- I wish the weather
could change.
I wish there was more to being
a mole rat than just rocking.
I mean, I get it.
The tunnel is rock,
so we're supposed to rock.
But sometimes it's hard rock,
and I, Wilbur J. Molerat, Jr.,
think that there must be
more to the fabric of life.
Like every-mole being 100% naked
500% of the time.
It's boring and chilly.
Ooh.
Sure, the Weather Mole says
nothing falls out of the sky
when you live in a tunnel,
but imagine if it could!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ah!
Whoa. Whoa!
Huh?
Ah!
What is that?
Oh, wow!
Oh!
Eek!
A shirt!
Here in the dirt.
Oh, yeah!
Why not find out?
Whoa.
Oh!
Ooh!
- Look.
- Whoa!
- Wilbur?
Hey, Wilbur?
Wilbur, dude, where are you?
- Come on out, Wilbur.
We're looking for you.
- Ah!
- He's not here.
- Or here.
- He's not in
Grand-Mahs-R-Us either.
But check out these cool
Grand-Mah pillows I bought.
- Sweet. I got these balloons.
- Um, how about
a little less shopping,
and a little more
looking for Wilbur?
- Oh, yeah.
Wilbur? Hey, Wilbur?
- Shopping later?
- Ugh! Come on.
- Wilbur?
- Dude!
- Wilbur?
- Wilbur?
I don't get it.
He's got to be around
here somewhere.
- Ah!
- Dude.
- What?
Is there something in my teeth?
- We didn't just see
what we just saw, did we?
- Dude, no way.
- Hmm. How's it looking?
- Oh, yeah, you're good.
- Thanks, Wilbur.
Boy, ever since
I got these braces,
everything gets stuck
in my... ahh!
- I'm getting dressed.
Hubba-wha?
- What? Did you say sandals?
- What about plaid?
- Blegh!
- How 'bout stockings?
Ugh!
- Thanks.
- Ah!
- Drummers look great
in tassels.
Eek!
- So you don't think
it's a good idea then?
- Is he wearing clothes?
- I'm out of here.
- Okay, I get it.
This isn't a great look
for the band,
but I like a simple
business casual ensemble.
- Is "business casual"
an oxymoron?
- Eh.
- Doesn't matter.
Wilbur, you're a rocking
naked mole rat.
Why under-earth
would you ever, ever, ever,
ever want to do...
that?
- It's just, um,
I guess I found out
that I discovered
that there's more to life
than living under a rock,
or even rockin' under a rock.
- Hubba-wha?
- Wearing clothes...
Well, I mean...
It's really fun.
- Ah!
- For me.
- Oh, sure.
Sure, sure. That's great.
I mean,
if you like clothes so much,
why don't you just
open a clothing store
or something?
- Dude.
- A store?
- Do you really think
Wilbur should open a store?
- No.
I was being sarcastic.
You moles wouldn't know sarcasm
if it bit you on the tail.
- Sarcasm can bite you
on the tail?
- Of course it can't.
I was being sarcastically
sarcastic about sarcasm!
- Oh.
- Oh... don't get it.
- A clothing store.
- Wilbur!
Look, we've been
friends forever.
The band needs you
to stop playing dress-up
and start playing music
for tonight's Evening Song.
- Dude.
- Yeah.
- Well, what should I wear?
- Your birthday suit!
- Duh.
- Now come on, we're heading
back to the arena.
- Suit.
Ugh.
- A mole rat with clothes?
I've never seen
such a thing in all my days.
- Hey, Wilbur,
we should get going.
- Oh, I'm going...
to open a store.
Ooh!
Right here in Tunnel Square.
A store with hats
and all kinds of clothes!
A place where every-mole
can come and try wearing
whatever they feel like.
And I'll call it "Hats...
And More."
"Hats and More!" Oh-oh!
Imagine.
Naked mole rats
won't be able to resist
once they hear my catchy jingle.
La la la la la la la...
- It's the only fashion
in the colony!
- Whoo!
Watch this.
Whee!
Hats...
and More!
Whoo! Ha! Ha!
Whoa!
- Take a peek.
- Lose that frown.
- We'll dress you chic.
- Innovative.
- And creative.
- Decorated.
- Sophisticated.
- Highly rated.
- Parking validated.
- Who could hate it?
Yay, me!
Hmm.
If only my new store
had some clothes.
Hooray!
Now every-mole will love
my Hats and More store.
And once they try on this
or this or this,
they'll be happier.
Mm.
I am.
I can't think of
a single solitary,
itty, bitty, little thing
that can possibly
go wrong with this plan.
A clothing store?
- Ooh, look,
a potential customer.
Welcome!
- A mole rat wearing
c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-clothes?
- You're very good at running.
It looks like you could
use some sneakers.
What do you think?
They scream, "Fun!"
But whisper, "Sophisticated."
- I'm telling everyone!
- What a nice mole,
spreading the news
about my store like that.
- Ah!
- A one, a two, a...
- Ah!
- What was that?
- News flash.
Clothes are reportedly
falling from the sky.
- Questions!
Is this real or just fake nudes?
And more importantly,
who is to blame?
Answers!
Tails are pointing at a certain
non-naked naked mole rat
who has opened
a clothing store
in the town square.
Opinion!
If that mole rat has any
friends or true band mates...
Ah!
- They'd better set him straight
before the colony gets
completely dressed out...
I mean, stressed out.
Ah!
- Dude, we got to stop Wilbur.
- But we already tried telling
him not to wear clothes.
- And we took him
to the Moleseum.
- Maybe something
a little more grand
might knock his socks off.
For good.
- I hope Venti, Tall,
and Grande stop by.
They have no idea
what's in store for them.
But I do.
Clothes!
- There he is.
Wilbur!
- Hello.
- What under-earth
do you think you're doing?
- I'm having a sale.
- Ooh. I do love a sale.
- Sale is over,
Wilbur J. Molerat.
- Ah!
- Sorry.
- Come with us.
- Oh.
Are you looking for an in-home
clothing consultation?
Because I think
something flouncy
would really take the edge off
of the "business in the front,
business in the back"
attitude you're rocking.
- Enough!
- Ah!
- Sorry.
- Tall?
- On it.
- Whoa!
- It is time to restore
your tunnel vision.
- It is?
- Wow. Look at that.
- He sure looks
like he's in trouble.
- Is that mole rat
wearing clothes?
- W-where are we going?
- We're going to get
you help, Wilbur.
- Help?
- Help.
- Quiet. We're here.
Help.
- Wilbur, look
at this monument of Grand-Mah.
Grand-Mah.
- Oh, yeah, Grand-Mah.
- No.
Grand-Mah.
Grand-Mah.
- Grand-Mah.
- Wilbur.
Let the grand nakedness
of Grand-Mah's statue
remind you of how she carved
this entire tunnel
with her teeth.
- Or of how she created
our colony with her bare...
And I mean bare... hands.
- Or of other cool stuff
she does and has done
that I'm pretty sure we
all know about, so, uh... dude.
- I want you to gaze upon that
and ask yourself what Grand-Mah
would do if she saw you.
- You want me to put myself
in her shoes?
- No!
We want you to put yourself
in her bare, fleshy feet.
I mean, just look at her
in big statue form.
- You know what, Grande?
You're right.
Grand-Mah does look great.
- Dude.
- Grand-Mah does look regal.
- Yes!
- Grand-Mah does
look magnificent!
- That's my bandmate.
- But she'd look even better
in a casual shirt
and some summer slacks.
Argh!
- After a certain age,
slacks flatter.
Wilbur!
Naked mole rats
don't wear clothes!
- Owwie.
You hurt my...
feelings.
- Freeze!
- Aw, and now my pants
are all dirty.
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
- Pssht! Goose Flesh,
this is Long Tooth.
We've got a dresser.
Belly button not visible.
I need backup!
- Hoo!
- Ha!
- Ha!
- Tails where we can see 'em!
- Sweet epidermis!
He's wearing c-c-c-c-c-c...
- Get ahold of yourself, rookie.
- I don't believe this.
I am just wearing clothes!
- What's that? What's going on?
- Now you've done it.
- Done what?
- You got Big Tail's attention.
- B-B-Big Tail? Who's that?
- That's a codename.
- For Grand-Mah.
Now stand back
as I expound upon the glory
of her authority,
profundity, and nudity.
- Wow.
That is one intense mole.
- Dude.
- I don't feel so good
about this.
- This is not
what I was expecting.
- What's gonna happen to us?
- What's gonna happen to me?
You might want to kneel.
- Kneeling.
- Kneeling.
- Kneeling.
- Kneeling!
- Maybe bringing Wilbur here
wasn't such a good idea.
- Dude, it wasn't my idea.
Ooh...
What's with all the racket?
I can barely hear myself
being naked.
- Uh, um. Oh!
Great Grand-Mah.
- Great Grand-Mah?
My mommy's here?
- Uh, no.
- "Great"
as in "very impressive."
- Oh.
Huh?
- We come before you today
to present something
so terribly g-g-guh-guh
that it will make your skin
go all n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nuh!
- Sounds serious.
What's the problem?
Him!
- Um, your
Grand-Mah-ness-ness... ness.
- At ease.
What's the problem with him?
- Grand-Mah...
- Wilbur is...
- Wearing clothes.
- Oh, is that the...
Hubba-wha?
Wilbur, is this true?
Are you wearing something?
- It's business casual, ma'am.
- Business casual's an oxymoron.
- Knew it.
Either you're working
or you're hanging out.
- Seriously. You can't do both.
Anyway, why are
you wearing clothes, Wilbur?
- Yeah, why?
- Why?
- Why?
- Why?
Why?
- Dude.
- Well, um, you see,
I thought...
why not?
- Why not?
Why not?
Did you just say to me,
to my face,
the face of the greatest
great, as in very impressive,
Grand-Mah,
most stupendously,
fantastic naked mole rat
in the history
of naked mole rats,
which, by the way, includes
some very impressive
individuals,
all of whom were as naked
as the day they were born
until the day they died,
did you just say "Why not?"
- Yes.
- That's it!
I am going to make
a very big decision,
so gather the entire colony.
The entire colony?
The entire colony?
- The entire colony?
- Is there an echo
in this tunnel?
Gather the entire colony
so that I can announce a...
A thing you say,
that is really,
really important,
in a very dramatic way
in public.
- A tweet?
- A proclamation!
Wilbur, go to your room
while I decide
what to do about you
and your new ideas.
- Gulp.
- This proclamation
is gonna be a really,
really, really big deal.
A really, really,
really big deal?
- Seriously.
The echo thing is killing me.
- Grand-Mah?
- Yes?
- Before you go,
I have something for you.
- What is that?
- A thinking cap
to help you think.
It's fun, right?
Ooh, I think she really likes
the hat I gave her.
- Oh, Wilbur, you're doomed.
- Grand-Mah made
the announcement
and soon will make
a pronouncement.
- Grand-Mah's made
the announcement,
and soon she'll make
a pronouncement!
- Mm.
- Come on.
- This just in. Socks!
That's right.
The sky is falling with fashion.
They're having reports
of jackets, skirts,
shorts, and even white pants.
And it's after Labor Day!
- Question.
How is this happening?
Answer. Who knows?
Question. Who can we blame?
Answer. Wilbur J. Molerat!
Ah!
What do I do?
Oh.
- Wilbur?
- Is it time already?
- Uh-huh.
- We don't think
Grand-Mah's proclamation
is gonna be good for you,
Wilbur.
The colony just isn't
ready for all of...
uh, this.
- But this is me.
We were afraid
you might say that.
- So we got you this.
- Aww.
It matches my outfit.
- Ugh, Mole, that's not why
we got you luggage.
Look.
We're your friends,
so we got your back,
even with a shirt on it.
- But what if Grand-Mah
isn't "fashion forward"?
- Dude.
- Wilbur, if you won't go
to the proclamation
without clothes,
then just go.
Go somewhere overground
where you can do...
Where you can, you know...
Be you.
- Wilbur, do the right thing.
- But...
I miss Wilbur already.
- Me too.
- There was nothing else
I could do for Wilbur.
Nothing else we could do.
- Really?
- Look, if he'd been smart,
Wilbur would've just
stayed naked.
There's no way
Grand-Mah's proclamation
was gonna go well for him.
I guess we don't have
to worry about that
since Wilbur's leaving.
- Yeah.
Every mole rat
in the colony's gonna show up
for Grand-Mah's
big proclamation about him,
and he won't even be there.
Dude, Grand-Mah's gonna be mad.
Yeah.
At us.
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah?
- Grand-Mah!
- Grand-Mah, there's something
we need to tell you
about... Wilbur?
Hello.
- You're here.
Dude, you've got to... wait,
you're not wearing a shirt.
- And you're not wearing pants.
- And you're not wearing...
Ah! What are those?
- Socks.
I tried to be like every mole,
but then I got cold feet.
- Wilbur, you've got
to get out of here.
The crowd is starting to murmur.
- Murmur, murmur.
- Murmur, murmur, murmur.
- She's right.
- You know what?
Let 'em.
I, Wilbur "Jumpsuit"
Mole-Rat Jr.,
am just as mole rat
as you or Venti
or Tall or any mole,
so I get to stay right here
and listen
to Grand-Mah's proclamation
just like any mole
in argyle socks.
- Dude.
That...
Is so beautiful.
Wilbur!
Ah!
- Socks are clothes!
Wearing them at Grand-Mah's
big proclamation...
That's like if I was wearing
a, I don't know,
an elegant pantsuit...
With a matching fancy hat...
Creating a fashionable ensemble
that was both amazing
and age appropriate!
Um, thanks for the support,
but that reaction's
over the top,
don't you think?
- Not that.
That!
Ah!
- I don't believe it!
- Dude!
- That's what I was gonna say.
Is that an elegant pantsuit
Grand-Mah's wearing?
- I don't know what to think
about that amazing
and age-appropriate attire.
- I'm so confused!
- My fellow naked mole rats,
I have never worn clothes
until I heard Wilbur J.
Mole Rat Jr.'s simple question.
"Why not?"
Why not, indeed?
Wilbur, do clothes hurt anyone?
- No.
- Are they fun?
- They are for me.
Exactly!
Clothes can be fun.
And while they may
not be for every-mole,
this old naked mole rat
wishes she had tried
getting dressed earlier!
Us too.
- What is that?
What is that?
- Don't get your tails
in a knot.
These clothes
falling from the sky
for some insufficiently
explained reason,
they're not a crisis.
They are an opportunity!
- Okay.
- So here's my officially
official proclamation.
Feeling fancy?
Try some pants-y.
Want to make a racket?
How 'bout a jacket?
Still can't take it?
No problem. Stay naked.
All you really have to do
is ask, "Why not?"
- Why not?
- Why not?
- That's the thought.
Ask yourself, "Why not?"
Why not?
Why not?
- If it hurts someone...
- Don't do it.
- If it's fun...
- Get to it.
- So when you're on the spot,
just ask yourself, "Why not?"
- If it's fun, then get to it.
- Can I try a "Why not?"
- Well, let's hear it,
young mole.
- What if I did this?
- That was neither
rock nor roll.
- That wasn't even
"easy listening."
- "Easy listening"
is another oxymoron.
Like "smart phone."
Uh-huh.
- Never really thought
about it that way.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
But it didn't hurt anyone,
did it?
- Um, nope.
Nope.
- I guess not.
- So that means...
- Don't do it.
- If it's fun...
Get to it!
- Why not?
Whew.
- Eh, I never thought
that statue
captured my essence anyway.
- Phew.
- Not like this
proclamation ensemble, huh?
You know it.
Whoa! Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- Seriously.
You would totally
rock the runway
in a mole rat fashion show.
- A mole rat fashion show?
A mole rat fashion show?
Ugh...
Why... not?
- You're getting it.
Mole rats,
let's rock our pants on
for the Evening Song!
- Do these pants make
my tail look big?
- Eh.
- Good evening, naked
and not-so-naked mole rats!
Are you ready
to rock the tunnel?
Yeah!
- Can you dig it?
Whoo!
- You bet you can.
Ha-ha.
Hit it, Wilbur!
- A-one! A-two!
A-one, two, three!
Ugh!
- Shake it, Grand-Mah,
but don't break it!
- I'm okay!
Whee!
- Dude, if you told me yesterday
that the fashion show would
rock, I would've said, dude.
But now that I'm in one,
I'm like, dude!
- I know.
We're ready, Wilbur.
- Then let's rock it.
Whoo-hoo, that tickles!
- This is Stark Naked
reporting for PNN,
the "Possibly Naked Network."
News flash.
I'm wearing pants!
You'll just have
to trust me on that.
- Wilbur, is it possible
for me to stay naked
and still be
in your fashion show?
- Grande,
I have two words for you.
Why not?
- Yay!
- Ha-ha! Look at me.
I'm wearing a birthday suit
designed by my biological genes.
- I can still see
your belly button!
- Come on, everybody.
I'm talking to you out there.
Get off your tails and show off
your fashion moves!
You're part of our
fashion show too.
- Yeah!
- So let me get this straight.
You were driving
a delivery truck
full of doll clothes for fun
when, out of nowhere,
you saw a duckling with
a hot dog crossing the road.
So you swerved to avoid it,
which made you crash
into this particular ditch
and spilled an entire load
of teeny, tiny clothes
into that hole over there?
- Happens to my cousin Herb
all the time.
- I'm gonna need
to see your license.
- About that...
Hey, is that a police car?
Whoo-hoo!
- Not again.
No! Come back here!
Mole rats!
- Yeow! Rock 'n' roll!
- Yeah-ho! Whoo-hoo!