Mystery on Monster Island (1981) - full transcript

A young European boy living in San Francisco is reluctant to marry his long-term girlfriend because he wants to travel around the world first. His wealthy uncle agrees to send him on a ...

[Birds Twittering]
[Gunshot]
This way.
[Shrieking]
[Screams]
[Chattering]
[Man] Down there.
Eric.
Gold! We are rich! Rich!
Gold!
- Gold. - Gold!
- [Laughing] - Gold.
- Gold! - We found it.
- They were crazy to think they could fool Taskinar. - We can produce more. Much more!
[Laughing]
[Laughing]
You're gonna die too. You're not gonna take my gold.
[Grunting]
Hold the rifle.
My gold is mine!
Grab my arm. Up!
[Screams]
[Panting]
[Coughing]
[Man] Lower the sails!
- [Knocking] - Come in.
[Door Opens]
[Man] Sir, Birling is here.
Croft and Stanton?
They are all dead.
Flint and Eric too.
Did you fiind them? Did you fiind the deposits?
Did you see the gold? Tell me.
You found it.
A deposit of gold, almost pure.
Finally, it's going to be mine.
No, not now, you fool. There's no more time for searching.
Tell me where you saw it. Tell me! Where?
Get him on his feet.
[Grunts]
Buried. Lost.
Stupid fool.
Make course for San Francisco.
But I'll be back.
Nobody's going to take that gold from me.
??[Piano]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
You're not a peasant treading grapes, my dear.
You're a feather, floating on a gentle breeze.
- [Chuckles] A feather? - Exactly.
Now, watch this.
One, two.
One, two.
Float, float, float. Float, float, float.
One, two, three, four.
Float, float, float. Float, float, float.
One, two, three, four.
[Glass Shattering]
- [Shatters] - [Gasps]
[Man Shouting]
[Gunfiire Continues]
[Gunfiire Stops]
Hmm.
Not again, Jeff!
Don't complain, Meg.
After all, I've saved you from Tartelett's boring classes.
Mr. Morgan, you know very well that my name is Artelett-
Thomas Artelett- not Tartelett as you insist on calling me.
And the fact that you do not want to attend my classes does not mean that they are boring...
but that you, young man, are a lout.
- [Chuckles] - [Meg] It's not funny, Jeff.
You could have killed someone.
I will not tolerate your behavior any longer.
I will personally take this matter to your uncle, Mr. Kolderup.
$1,200,000.
An entire island for only $1,200,000?
No one will offer more?
An island with prime pasture and forestland...
freshwater rivers and no wild animals.
Are there any famous taverns there?
[Laughing]
I can see that no one wants to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime bargain.
Well, then...
$1,200,000 going once.
Going twice.
$ 1,300,000.
[Auctioneer] The gentleman has said 1,300,000.
But Spencer Island is worth a lot more. Keep bidding, gentlemen.
Will someone offer 1,400,000?
$1,400,000.
Do I hear 1,500,000?
1,500,000.
The island is worth it, gentlemen.
1,600,000.
1,700,000.
1,800,000.
1,900,000.
- Two million. - [Murmuring]
Two and a half million.
[Crowd Murmuring]
Five million.
[Chattering]
Sold to Mr. William T. Kolderup...
for the sum of fiive million dollars.
[Kolderup] Now, Jeff, next week I'm giving a big party. Do you know why?
To announce officially your engagement to Meg.
What? Is something wrong?
You don't seem happy at all.
Uncle William, you've got to understand.
Understand what? Don't you want Meg to be your wife?
Sure I do. I love Meg.
But before I get married, I want to show my own worth as a person.
I want to travel and see the world. Didn't you do the same?
Things were rather different when your father and I came to this country.
But you want more adventure than directing my business?
You said it Uncle William- It's yours. What have I done to merit all that?
Oh, but that's foolishness, Jeff.
You'll become a man regardless. You'll travel since my business would require you to do so.
But now you must marry.
Give me a year, Uncle William. Only a year.
That's enough, Jeff. I tell you, you're going to get married.
Don't insist, Uncle William.
I don't want you to forceJeff to do something he doesn't want to do.
Very well, then. You have both decided.
You will have your adventure, Jeff, and aboard my own ship.
I can assure you it'll be a trip you will never forget.
[Knocking]
Oh. I'm glad I found you all together.
Mr. Kolderup, I do not wish to disturb you, sir...
but I must speak to you very seriously about the conduct of your nephew.
We are totally incompatible.
He hates my classes, he hates my name, he hates me.
Mr. Artelett, you have arrived at a most opportune moment.
I was just saying that you are about to take a trip around the world.
Who? Me, sir?
Yes, you, my dear professor. Uh, didn't you come to complain about my nephew?
Now I think that a year by his side with intensive classes might resolve the problem.
It is decided then. You will accompany him on his trip.
Prepare your things and I'll make the necessary arrangements.
You'll be leaving in 72 hours.
[Ship Horn Blowing]
[Quacking]
This isn't a ship. It's Noah's ark.
Slow ahead.
Bye, Meg! Bye, Uncle William!
Take care, Jeff. Good-bye, Professor.
And remember, Miss Meg, think feathers.
Float, float, flo-oat!
Good luck, boy!
Don't you worry, Meg. He'll be all right.
I wish I could believe that, but-
But what?
I have the terrible feeling that I'm never going to seeJeff again.
If I were you, I'd put my life jacket on.
Don't even want to think of the dangers ahead of us.
[Shouting]
[Groans]
[Retching]
Ow!
Ooh!
[Mumbles, Shouts]
- [Laughing] - Ow! Get me out of here!
What's going on there?
Help him. You too.
[Groaning]
[Man Shouting]
- Who's that? - Looks like we've got a stowaway, Captain.
What are you doing on my ship?
Honorable Captain, miserable Chinese begs much pardon.
I asked you, what are you doing on my ship?
Miserable Chinese wants to go home.
Home?
To China?
- Throw him to the sharks! - You can't!
Of course I can. This man is a stowaway and I can throw him in the sea.
- Toss him overboard! - No!
Captain, as a representative of my uncle, owner of this ship...
I forbid you to harm this man.
You forbid? [Chuckles]
This is not San Francisco, young man. Your uncle does not command here.
Here, I am the law, and only I can decide what to do with this damn stowaway.
I appeal to you as a man of conscience. Captain, please don't do this.
Take him to the galley. Let him work for his passage.
Thank you, honorable Captain. Thank you!
Oh, sir, this miserable Chinese is very grateful.
- One day will do big favor. - Thank you.
- You very clumsy. - Me? Clumsy?
Yes. If you knew how to walk straight, me not be discovered.
[Laughs]
Clumsy, indeed.
[Ship Horn Blows]
[Whispers] Something about this ship I don't like at all.
Especially that blasted Chinaman.
Have-Have you noticed how he always serves me the smallest portions at mealtimes?
And those sailors- frightful table manners.
And as for the captain, well, I'm not quite sure about-
Oh. [Chuckles] Good afternoon, Captain. A beautiful day, isn't it?
You should return to your cabins. A dense fog is approaching the ship.
Why, that's just what I was saying a moment ago, right, Mr. Morgan?
We should go inside at once.
[Bell Ringing]
- [Ringing Continues] - [Artelett] Mr. Morgan!
Mr. Morgan!
Wake up! Wake up!
- What's going on? - Hurry. The ship, it's on fire!
Get your life jacket. Come along.
I'm getting out of here. Don't you see the smoke?
Wait for me!
[Bell Ringing]
Captain! Captain, are you there?
- I don't understand. - They could've warned us before leaving!
No, no, a captain never abandons his ship.
Well, I don't know about a real captain, but the murderer that commands this vessel, well-
Perhaps they're below trying to put out the fire.
Captain!
It's no use to keep looking.
They've gone, and I'm going too! This ship is sinking!
- Going where? - Home. I'm going home.
- We must get to a lifeboat. - Okay, let's get back on deck.
We probably couldn't see anyone because of the fog.
Ah!
The ship in danger, and there they are, drunk.
Oh, really!
[Bell Ringing]
Huh. Some crew your uncle hired.
Officer.
Oh! He's dead! Oh!
Oh!
They're all dead.
- And the ship's on fire. - We've got to do something.
- [Shrieking] - [Screams] Oh, run!
[Monster Growling]
- [Shrieks] - [Shouting]
- [Screams] - [Growls]
Come on. In here.
[Muttering]
- [Shrieks] - [Straining]
[Shrieks]
- [Growling] - Barricade the other door!
Huh?
- Professor! - [Shrieks]
[Screams]
Oh, no! Oh! Aaah! Oh! Aaah!
- [Monsters Shrieking] - No, no! Not the violin!
Oh, dear!
[Panting]
What do we do now?
Wait.
Oh. I could do with a stiff drink.
Well, at least we're safe here for a while.
[Shrieking]
Aaah, no! [Screams]
Oh, no! Oh!
Oh! Oh, no! Go!
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
- [Monster Shrieks] - [Screams]
Oh! Oh, no! Oh!
Oh! [Screams]
- Jump. - I can't.
- Professor, jump. - I can't!
- We've got no choice. The ship's about to blow up. Jump! - Oh!
[Water Splashes]
Professor!
Professor!
Hey!
Hey!
[Quacking]
[Chickens Clucking]
[Artelett Groaning]
- [Muttering] - Artelett!
- [Muttering] I am Tartelett! - I know. I know. You're not a cake.
Wake up. You're saved.
Oh! Those horrible monsters.
Don't be afraid. We're safe.
- Is it solid? - Oh, it's land.
- It won't sink? - No, it won't sink.
[Laughing] It's solid.
It won't sink.
But, uh, what land is this? Where-Where are we?
- I don't know. - It doesn't matter.
We'll find a good restaurant. I'm starving.
And later we'll send a telegram to your uncle...
uh, to arrange a passage.
- Then tomorrow- - We've got the animals.
- Now I think we should search for survivors. - Survivors?
- Did the ship sink? - The boilers exploded.
Oh. I must have passed out.
All I remember is falling in the water and- and-
and all those horrible monsters!
They haven't followed us, have they?
Let's get away from here. I'd feel safer.
[Birds Twittering]
[Squawking]
[Shudders]
[Stammering]
[Groans]
[Grunts]
Let's check out the cave.
- Are you sure it's safe? - No.
Thank you. That makes me feel so much better.
Oh, dear. Oh.
What stuff.
Oh.
[Creature Grunts]
I think we ought to find another cave.
- [Squealing] - Watch out!
[Artelett Stammering]
- [Screams] - Professor, watch out!
Help! Help! Help! Help!
[Sobbing]
The monsters! This island is full of monsters!
Come on. Come on, Artelett. We've got to investigate the cave.
No, thank you. Oh, no. I'm staying right here.
- [Grunting] - No, no. Wait, please.
I don't like this at all.
[Screams] Monsters!
Look what the monsters have done.
- Or cannibals. - Cannibals?
Why did we ever have to leave San Francisco?
This probably happened a long time ago.
We'll spend the night over here, and tomorrow, if we don't like it, we'll find something better.
[Quacking]
- Nothing? - [Screams]
Don't do that!
Kindly warn me of your approach next time.
And, no, nothing.
This business of rubbing sticks together must be an invention ofJules Verne. Hmm.
Look. See? All you get are calluses on the palms of your hands.
- What are those? - Lunch.
You're not serious?
You don't intend to eat that raw?
Raw, but they're very good.
First he discards his clothes, then he eats things raw.
You're going to end up turning into a savage- a cannibal.
Neither my stomach nor my dignity...
will allow me to follow your example.
All right. I'll go and see if I can find you some fruit.
And get dressed, please.
One never knows who one might find along the way.
Mmm. Hmm.
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm.
- Professor! Professor! - [Coughing]
- [Squawking] - There's someone else on the island!
Let's go. Someone else has been saved.
And-And-And what if they are savages, or maybe even cannibals?
I don't think so. Maybe someone else has been shipwrecked here.
We just have to take that risk.
But, uh- Oh, dear.
I don't really want to go- [Muttering]
Not a sign of fiire.
I'm sure the smoke came from here.
It's better we didn't find anything. I'm certain they were cannibals.
It's quite clear. Once you leave San Francisco...
all you do find are monsters and cannibals.
Not to mention fire and-and-and shipwreck and-and-
Oh! Ow! Ooh!
You see? Cannibals!
Cannibals eat people. They don't bury them.
[Screaming]
Professor, slow down! You're gonna hurt yourself!
Good grief. What's that?
I don't like it. I don't think we should go in there.
- A saw. - Huh? Oh, yes, yes, yes.
[Mutters] Look what we've got here.
[Mouthing Words] Ow!
[Stammering]
- [Grunting] - [Laughs]
Chimpanzee.
I bet you were responsible for this.
If only he could speak, he might tell us who lit the fire.
It wouldn't surprise me to learn that he had done it.
Hmm. I mean, look at him. He has the face of a pyromaniac.
A trunk.
I don't want the dratted thing.
Good heavens. Huh.
Look at this. Rather splendid, isn't it?
Oh. Wonderful. And, oh, a change of clothes.
Look at that.
Oh, now-now don't point that thing at me. It might be loaded.
How's that?
Absolutely splendid, dear fellow. But look what I found.
Hey? How about that?
- [Shrieking] - ?? [Humming]
Hey! You've got my vio-
Violin! Give me back my violin!
Put that down!
[Yelps]
- [Quacking] - [Sighs] Mmm.
Ow! [Blowing]
[Shouts]
- [Squawking] - [Grunting]
[Bleating]
- [Shrieks] - [Bleating Continues]
- Mmm. Come on. Mmm. - [Bleating]
Ow!
[Chattering]
[Artelett] Now, my little man, we are now to have a lesson in manners-
table manners, that is.
Now here's your tea.
Um, well- [Chuckles]
So, not too bad anyway.
But this is the way we do it in the best of circles.
Hmm. Hmm.
One must have a great deal of patience.
At any rate, he's learning faster than that banker's wife in San Francisco. Hmm.
Ah, San Francisco.
What a beautiful city.
I wonder, will we ever get back to San Francisco again?
?? [Folk]
??[Drums Beating]
[Men Chanting In Distance]
- ?? [Drums Continue] - [Chanting Continues]
[Chittering]
No, no. No. No. No. Uh, your- your posture is all wrong.
Straighten up.
Think feathers. Float, float, float.
[Sighs, Clears Throat]
Professor.
- Quiet. They're here. - Who?
- The cannibals! - Oh. The cannibals.
Cannibals? Wait.
- [Chanting] - ?? [Drums Beating]
- Wouldn't we be better off hiding? - Hiding where?
- Here. - Look, you do what you want...
but those skeletons in there probably thought that this was a good hiding place.
Look. Why provoke them? Maybe they'll just go away.
[Chanting Continues]
- [Chimpanzee Shrieks] - Shh!
I don't know what you're worried about. Cannibals eat people, not monkeys.
Oh. Now why did I have to say that?
Shh.
- [Chanting Continues] - ??[Drums Continue]
Deserter.
[Native Language]
[Native Language]
[Rattle Rattling]
[Rattling Continues]
[Native Language]
[Rattling]
[All Shouting]
- [Shouting Continues] - [Gunshot]
[Gunshot]
- Are you okay? - [Native Language]
Did you see how I made them run?
These-These cannibals are nothing but cowards. [Screams]
He's all right, Professor.
Oh. That must be his way of shaking hands.
I am your friend.
- [Native Language] - Of course.
- [Native Language] - [Native Language]
[Native Language]
- [Native Language] - [Native Language]
- [Native Language] - [Native Language]
You understand what he said?
Not a word. But I think he wants to be my servant.
Very well. I'll be your master. My name is Artelett.
My name is Artelett.
Understand? Hmm.
He is Jefferson.
- [Chimpanzee Chittering] - Uh, and, oh, yes.
This is our expert on ecology.
[Clears Throat] And you.
What is your name?
You.
No, no, no. No. You. [Chuckles]
- What is your name? - You...
- Carefinotu. - Ah!
His name is Carefinotu. Not bad for a savage.
Hmm. Uh, and I.
I?
I...
"Tartlet."
I am not a cake. Stupid.
Ah!
Stupid! Stupid!
- Oh. There's no way. I give up. - Come on, Professor. Let's go. Come on.
[Chitters]
MasterJeff, you don't think that, um-
- That what? - That Carefinotu might be a cannibal?
- Yes. It's possible. - It is? Oh, you're such a comfort to me.
[Chittering]
[Roar]
- What was that? - Another monster. What else?
[Native Language]
- What did he say? - I'm afraid he means he's hungry.
- Hungry? You hungry? - [Native Language]
- I think he's very hungry and has something large in mind. - [Native Language]
- Something about this large. - [Native Language]
He'll end up biting us. You'll see.
- [Native Language] - What are you trying to say?
- [Native Language] - [Artelett] Oh!
- [Growling] - [Artelett Screams]
- [Jeff] Come on. Let's go. - [Chittering]
- [Growling] - [Artelett Screams]
[Artelett Screams]
- [Groans] - Come on.
[Growling Continues]
- [Roars] - [Gunshot]
[Artelett Screaming] Help!
Ow! Aaah! No!
No! Help! MasterJeff!
[Screaming]
[Screaming Continues]
- [Roars] - [Screams]
There's a cave!
[Screams]
[Artelett Screams]
[Roars]
[Screams]
[Screaming]
[Groaning]
[Chitters]
It's injured. We can escape now.
Let's see if there's any other way out.
We really must get away from this wretched island!
As soon as we can. Meanwhile we must fortify our cave.
- [Thumping] - [Chittering]
- [Shrieks] - Oh, it's you.
It's too late. The excitement's over.
Ingaga. Ingaga.
[Grunts]
Drat. Too much ingaga for me.
Uh, could you give me a lighter ingaga?
[Screams] Help! Help! Help!
[Squawking]
No, no. No. No.
Me show you. Right?
Oh!
- [Laughing] Come on. - [Laughing]
- [Thunderclap] - [Artelett] One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Float, float, float.
[Clears Throat] One, two, three.
Don't you think it would be a good idea to get off and help push?
Somebody has to supervise the operation. We might run aground.
We are aground. How would you like me to take over the supervising?
You are young and strong. I have the intellect...
and therefore am better fiitted to do the supervising.
Now come along. We don't want to lose the rhythm.
One, two- [Screams]
- Oh! Aaah. - Float, float, float!
We'd better get back into the cave.
The storm's about to break.
[Stammers] But MasterJeff, we must try out the boat.
Don't forget. Our only salvation is the sea.
Now, come along. Forward.
[Stammers] It's a monster! Help! Help!
Help! Help! Help! Monsters!
[Screaming]
[Growls]
- [Growls] - [Jeff] Professor!
- Professor, come back! - [Stammering] Oh!
Help! There's more of them!
- [Growling] - Help!
Help! [Screams]
[Growls]
[Artelett] Take this, you blackguard!
[Gunshot]
[Growling]
[Artelett] Oh!
[Screams] Oh!
- To the rocks! - [Growling Continues]
There's a cave. Look! A cave!
Don't stop! Run!
- [Growling] - Oh, dear.
[Artelett Screaming]
[Growling Continues]
[Artelett Whimpering]
[Whimpering]
[Growls]
[Growling Continues]
[Panting]
- [Growls] - [Screams]
No! Aaah!
Run!
There's no way out of here.
[Artelett] Well, haven't you got any ideas?
- Yeah. Try praying! - Oh, I just love your answers!
- [Growling Continues] - A miracle! [Laughing]
[Growling Continues]
If you could only dance better...
you'd be just perfect.
Carefinotu, up!
Carefiinotu!
[Growling]
Come on.
- [Growling Continues] - Well done.
[All Growling]
Cut the rope.
[Jeff] It doesn't make sense. All these monsters...
and the bullets didn't even harm them.
You're right. It's all very odd. Whatever will happen to us next?
- [Thunderclap] - [Jeff] The storm.
Oh, what a pity. I was just beginning to enjoy it.
[Artelett Snoring]
[Thunderclap]
[Snoring Continues]
[Snoring Continues]
[Chittering Softly]
- [Chittering] - [Snoring Continues]
[Snoring Continues]
[Chittering Continues]
[Lips Smacking]
- [Chittering] - [Snoring Continues]
[Murmurs]
[Snoring Continues]
[Thunderclap]
- [Thunderclap] - [Fire Crackling]
[Chittering]
[Chittering Continues]
[Carefiinotu Coughing]
[Native Language]
- [Native Language] - [Coughing]
Fire! Come on! Let's get out of here!
[Snoring Continues]
- Come on! Quick! - [Native Language]
Fire? Wh-What fire? There's nothing wrong with the fire.
Fire! Oh, good heavens!
Oh, my heavens. Oh, good heavens!
Oh, oh! [Screams] Help! Fire!
[Artelett] What a strange, unearthly place.
- [High-pitched Screeching] - Oh! Aaah!
- What's that noise? - I don't know.
- Well, let's go back. - No.
Now that we're here, let's explore the cave properly.
Oh, you know what curiosity did: It killed the cat!
- [Screeching] - [Whimpers]
Wh-What's that then?
[High-pitched Screeching Continues]
Oh. Oh! Oh!
- [Screeching] - There's no end to these monsters!
[Artelett Screaming]
[Screams]
[Screeching Continues]
[Artelett Whimpering] Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no!
[Gunshot]
- [Screeching Continues] - [Artelett Screams] No!
[Artelett Screaming]
[Jeff] We must have broken through into another cave.
[Artelett] They all look the same to me.
[Native Language]
- Gold! - [Stammers]
Did you say "gold"?
Yes. It's gold!
Gold?
It is gold!
W-We're rich! We're rich!
[Growling]
[Screams] We're dead!
Shoot, for God's sake! Shoot!
Aaah! No! I'm getting out of here!
Let's get out of here!
[Screams]
Help! Help!
Artelett! Artelett!
Get me out of here! Oh!
Help!
- Oh! - Can't you see? We're safe.
Oh, I see! [Laughing]
No, I don't! I don't see anything.
- The light. - Huh?
This-This well leads to the sea.
What of it?
[Native Language]
Follow me.
[Screaming]
Oh, you horrible creature!
Get away! Get away! [Screaming]
[Whimpering]
- A ship. A ship! - Where?
[Clicking]
Oh, that's no use! Useless piece of artillery.
We must do something to attract their attention.
A bonfire. Let's build a bonfire.
Quick!
[Chattering]
And the matches. I'll get the matches.
Oh, they're wet, damn it! They're wet!
- The boat. Let's get the boat. To the boat. - Right.
I- I don't understand!
Why? How? [Sobbing]
Hey! Don't go! Hey!
Hey! Come back!
Don't go! Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Come back! Don't go! Hey!
[Sobbing] Oh, no! Hey!
Oh! Oh! [Sobbing]
Come back!
[Sobbing]
Cheer up, Professor. I'll get you out of here. You'll see.
No, I won't see!
We're all going to die on this island!
And it's all your fault!
You're nothing but a spoiled child!
It's all very well for you to have these infantile dreams...
of adventure and heroics...
but why should I be involved?
If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be in this ghastly predicament!
I'm sorry.
[Bird Chirps]
If I weren't so exhausted, I'd realize how hungry I was.
We've got to go on. Here there's no shelter.
Not another step! I- I-I'm hungry! I'm hungry!
Okay. You rest. We'll inspect the area, and we'll try and find you something to eat.
Oh. What wouldn't I give for a nice turkey dinner.
[Rustling]
[Rustling]
[Gobbling]
[Gobbling]
Blasted turkey!
[Gobbling]
- [Gobbling] - Help! Help!
[Groaning] Murderer!
Assassin!
All right. All right!
Aha! Got you!
- [Screeching] - Help!
[Screaming]
Help! Monster!
Th-The turkey! The turkey!
- What turkey? Here. - Th-The turkey. M-Monster turkey.
[Gobbling]
- Adacandibolu. [Chuckles] - Oh, adacandibolu your father!
It was an enormous turkey! As big as that.
- Well, like that! - Fine. Let's go and see this turkey.
It was as least as big as that. Enormous!
[Birds Chirping]
[Gobbles]
- [Gobbles] - [Rustling]
Who are you?
Oh, monsieur. You're not going to hurt me?
- You won't hurt me, will you? - Hurt you? I'd like to see anyone try.
My name is Dominique Blanchard.
The ship in which I was sailing-
oh, monsieur- was wrecked over a year ago.
And this? What's all this about?
I made it to frighten the savages.
[Artelett] They're cannibals. Very bad men.
Oh, oui, monsieur. Very bad.
I was alone a long time. There were two others...
- but one day they just disappeared. - The cannibals without a doubt.
Oh, oui, monsieur. How horrible.
There are terrible things on this island.
Oh! How right you are. But, mademoiselle, now you have nothing to fear.
Allow me to present myself. Thomas Artelett...
professor of elocution and social deportment.
Oh. Uh, Mr. Morgan, my pupil.
He is on an educational tour. Uh, Carefinotu, my servant.
Please. Mademoiselle.
Beautiful weather we're having, isn't it, mademoiselle?
Are you from Paris, mademoiselle...
- or just from France? - From Paris, Monsieur "Tartelett."
[Clears Throat] Uh, T. Artelett, mademoiselle...
of the Arteletts of Orleans, related to Lafayette.
T. Artelett.
And that was when Madame de La Rossitier said to me...
"Monsieur Artelett, you're the best dancer I've ever known."
- And she said it for all the world to hear, you know. - [Chuckles]
- Pardon, monsieur. This way. - Oh. After you, mademoiselle.
Gentlemen, this is my humble home.
Please, make yourselves comfortable.
But, mademoiselle, it is- it is tr?s chic.
Hands up!
Oh! [Chuckles] Monsieur, pardon.
You'll have to forgive Parsley. She's very badly trained.
Shut up!
- [Chuckles] Oh, I- I see. - Parsley...
may I present Monsieur Artelett?
- Enchant?. - Tartelett. Tartelett.
Artelett!
My name is Thomas Artelett...
- and I am not a pie. [Chuckles] - [Chuckles]
Speaking of that- I mean, you must be hungry, I suppose.
- Well- - Uh, hungry. No. Ravenous- as a wolf.
Uh, I beg your pardon.
Please sit down. I'm going to make myself comfortable...
and right away I'll fix something for you.
[Artelett] Merci, mademoiselle.
Hands off!
[Chuckles]
- Gunpowder. - If there's anything you want-
anything- you only have to ask for it.
[Gulps]
- Wonderful French cuisine. - Merci, monsieur.
Chicken with nuts. Delicious! Mmm.
[Clears Throat]
- What a pretty stone. - Mmm. It's gold.
- Gold? - [Artelett] We have lots of it.
Uh, th-that is to say, in the bank, of course.
Well, to tell you the truth, that's, uh, all we have.
And do you know what I say?
I say it isn't even real.
Worthless. [Chuckles]
It doesn't matter to me if it has no value. It's so pretty.
- May I keep it? - [Artelett] Um, well, uh-
Yes, of course. B-But only for a while. Just for a little while.
It's our, um, good luck charm. You understand.
I see you've got some rifles.
Yes, but they are no use to me. I don't know how to shoot.
Oh. A phonograph.
It was a gift from my poor papa.
One of the few things I managed to save from the shipwreck.
And records.
- I adore music. - Oh, these mechanical contrivances!
What a pity my violin is broken.
- You have ragtime. May I? - Of course.
- Do you like to dance? - Well, the truth is that I don't-
I love to dance.
Monsieur Artelett.
Would you be so kind as to start the phonograph?
Oh. L-l-l- I see.
Yes. Of course. [Clears Throat]
- ?? [Ragtime] - Come on. It's easy.
You'll see.
You call this dancing?
Hands up!
[Dominique Chuckles]
?? [Tapping]
[Dominique] You like, Monsieur Artelett? [Chuckles]
?? [Warbling]
??[Continues]
[Man] Get up.
- [Artelett] The bogeymen! - Shut up!
[Squawks]
Oh! Oh, my poor Parsley! Oh!
[Man] Shut up. If anyone moves, they'll be the next to get it.
- Where did you find it? - I don't know.
What is it I'm supposed to have found?
The gold is mine. I'm the only person that knows where the gold came from.
In that case, you answer me.
- Where did you find it? - It's none of your business.
- [Groans] - If you don't tell me, everybody dies.
You kill us, you'll never know where I found the gold.
Oh, we'll find out.
When I finish with you, you'll beg me to listen.
Take them away.
[Squawks]
Please, Jeff! Tell them what they want to know.
- That's good advice. - Never!
We'll see.
Leave her alone! She knows nothing!
- But you do. - Jeff!
- No! - Then talk.
All right.
I found it in the volcano.
In a small crater to the left of the main opening.
You wouldn't be stupid enough to lie to me, would you?
The gold's in plain sight. It'll be easy to find.
I'll go now.
If you've lied to me, you'll die.
Stay here and watch them.
[Whispers] Why did you lie to them?
When they get back, they'll roast us.
- We had to gain time. - Why?
It's better to tell them the truth.
No one will tell them the truth. Understand?
They'll only kill us once they know where the gold is.
I'm not so sure about that.
I saw what happened to the parrot.
[Rumbling]
[Explosion]
- [Rumbling] - [Man] What was that?
[Man #2] The volcano's erupting. I'm getting out ofhere.
Wait. Wait. [Groans]
- Well done. - Wh-What's happening?
[Native Language]
[Native Language]
Oh! I see! Uh, what's happening?
Back to Dominique's cave. We've got weapons there.
Baranga!
- [Man] Where are they? - I don't know. Somebody hit me.
- [Groans] - Idiot.
- Where's the ammunition? - I'm really sorry. The ammunition is all gone.
The gunpowder.
They'll-They'll catch us anyway.
We'll go back to the cave. There at least we've got the defenses.
Let's go.
Hurry. Come on.
[Parsley] And don't come back. [Squawks]
You scum!
Hold it.
[Grunts] Hold it.
And again. That's it.
That's it.
I don't think they'll attack tonight...
but we'll have to mount a guard.
Oh, tonight, tomorrow. What difference does it make?
The defenses are almost intact.
We'll handle them.
I don't want to speak out of turn, but...
wouldn't it be better to tell them where the gold is?
I think the same. What good is the gold going to do us if we're dead?
They'll kill us for sure once they know where the gold is.
We've got to show them we are not afraid of fighting.
Very well then. If fight we must...
- then fight we will! - Good man.
And if it is our lot to die...
then let us die well.
Hey! Wait for me!
[Animals Twittering]
- [Gun Cocks] - You are not thinking of shooting me.
- You should try and sleep. - I've got to keep you company.
Don't you like my company?
- I didn't say that. - Don't be angry with me, please.
Is she pretty?
- Who? - The girl you are always thinking about when you look at me.
- I don't know what you're talking about. - Of course you know.
And it's all right. Only-
Only what?
I'm jealous of her.
It's a cold night.
Her name is Meg...
and I love her very much.
She's a very lucky lady.
[Roosters Crowing]
[Gunshot]
Don't shoot!
Remember that I want them alive!
- You stay here. - The heathen! The heathen!
Oh. [Chuckles]
The-The, um- Uh, the-the- Excuse me. The heathen- they're-they're here.
- [Chuckles Nervously] - Get dressed.
The pistol.
Come on, cowards. After them!
Help me, you idiots! Help me!
Give that back to me.
You idiots! Help me!
[Chittering]
[Shrieks]
Get me out of here! Can't you see I can't move?
Lift this gate up, you fools!
[Chittering]
Quick!
Help me! Help me!
[Jeff] Carefinotu, hold it up.
Come on. Tie it down. Press- Press against this. Come on. Hurry up.
Remember, I want them alive!
[Jeff] Come on.
We're not safe here. We'd better get back in the cave.
Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm not going back in there again.
Look, there we stand a chance. Here we have nothing. Come on!
[Artelett] Pirates outside and-and monsters inside.
I- I-I don't really know what's going on.
Get the lamp. The lamp!
Go.
- Hurry. The powder's gonna blow up. - [Artelett] What? Oh.
[Man] A bomb!
- Oh, mon Dieu. - Come on. There's no time to lose.
They'll pay for this.
When they tell me where the gold is, I'll kill them myself!
Get up!
- Come on, Professor. - Oh, I-
I- l-
I- I don't think I can.
- It's easy. Jump! - [Screams]
No. No, no. No.
At last we've found it.
Fire. I don't need them anymore.
- Shoot to kill. - [Man] The girl too?
Yes. She shouldn't know where the gold is either.
Come on, Professor.
What are you waiting for? Kill them!
[Yelps]
[Gunshots]
[Screams]
[Screams]
[Native Language]
Hold your fire.
They can't escape anyway.
Faster. We have to catch them.
Are you okay?
[Shouting]
That stopped them. We're safe for the moment.
What if there's no way out?
- We'll try this way. - Huh? Oh.
Hurry up. We've got to get rid of them, however we can.
Oh! [Groans]
- Oh. My head. - Professor, are you okay?
- Oh. - Come on. Hurry up.
Quick! Come on.
[Bird Chirping]
Come on! Let's get up the mountain!
- Let's get further in. - I can't go on. I-
It's useless. They'll kill us anyway.
If your uncle doesn't get here soon, we're finished.
I don't understand.
- Who are you? - My name is Higby, from San Francisco.
- Higby? - Yeah. I'm a professional actor hired by your uncle.
- What does my uncle have to do with all this? - It was all his idea.
How about the cannibals that were gonna sacrifice you on the beach?
- They were members of my theater group. - What about the monsters?
Your uncle bought them all from Mr. Rosegarden...
the famous toy maker from San Francisco.
I suppose my uncle sent the chest too.
That was a present... from Miss Meg.
And you?
- Who are you really? - I was shipwrecked...
and I am who I said I was- Dominique Blanchard.
And can someone tell me what's happening here?
- Why did my uncle do this? - I don't know.
That is something you'll have to ask him personally.
And those men who are chasing us...
are they part of this bad joke too?
When I first saw them, I thought that Mr. Kolderup...
had added new people to the play without my knowledge.
But I soon decided that they were not joking.
So I decided to advise your uncle.
- Advise him? How? - The volcano.
When they took you prisoners, I went to give the signal for an explosion of the volcano.
It was the signal agreed upon so that your uncle could come if anything happened.
- But he hasn't come. - Hmm. Even the volcano wasn't real.
I wouldn't be at all surprised if that wretched chimpanzee...
wasn't Buffalo Bill in disguise.
A ship!
It's The Dream! It's The Dream!
[Higby] I knew your uncle wouldn't fail us.
- Come on. Let's go! - [Ship Horn Blowing]
[Laughing]
- [Shrieks] - [Screams] Help! Help! Help!
Go away! Aaah!
So it's you, you little deserter.
- [Chitters] - Why do you always turn up when it's too late?
Come on, Professor. We've no time for talk.
[Chitters]
[Jeff Chuckles] A family.
[Chittering]
[Chittering]
I understand.
[Chuckles] And Carefinotu.
And Monsieur Artelett.
Come on. Let's go. Bye.
Good-bye.
[Dominique] Au revoir, mon ch?ri.
Well, good-bye, my friend. And thank you.
And good luck. Yes?
- Good-bye. - [Chitters]
Bye-bye.
Jeff!
- Meg! - Jeff!
Jeff!
Meg!
Jeff!
Come to my arms, boy.
[Chuckles]
Miss Meg.
Hello, Professor.
How are you?
- Did you have a good time? - Uncle William.
- So Higby has told you. - Everything.
- And now you're angry with me? - What did you expect?
You tricked me and made a joke out of everything that's important to me.
- Is that what you think I've done? - Yes.
None of your adventures are useful to you?
You mean you haven't had a chance to discover your real worth?
- That's not the point, and you know it. - Now you listen to me.
You didn't know the dangers on this island were false.
You conducted yourself as though you were really in danger.
You must understand, Jeff, it is a real measure of a man's worth...
to see how he reacts in life-or-death situations.
The struggle to survive is the maximum test to which a man can be submitted.
- But you fooled me. - Well, what else could I do?
You and Meg are the only ones in this world who really matter to me.
I couldn't let your lives be in danger. Not in real danger.
In real danger?
Ah, Professor Artelett. And how are you?
- Hmph! - [Chuckles]
I get the impression you didn't like Spencer Island.
Mr. Kolderup, you can hardly expect me to have an affinity...
with monsters, cannibals and firearms!
Firearms? But all the cartridges were blanks. Completely inoffensive.
Inoffensive? Really?
Then what, pray, is that?
You know anything about this?
- [Shouting] - [Artelett] Mr. Kolderup...
can't you tell those delinquents to stop shouting?
- Captain, what's happening? - I don't know.
[Shouting Continues]
- Put your hands up. - Who are you?
Shut up and put your hands up.
- Taskinar! - That's right, Kolderup.
Now put your hands up before I blow your brains out.
- Why are you doing this? - Can't you guess?
You, the richest man in America.
- The gold. - [Taskinar] Exactly.
- What gold? - My gold.
The gold you took from me when you bought the island.
I'll be the richest man in America.
Too bad none of you will live to see it.
- You're out of your mind. - Tie them up.
One false move out of anyone and he dies.
Tell them to drop their weapons now!
Let him go, Jeff. If you don't, your darling here will die.
I'm not bluffing, Jeff.
[Taskinar] Good work, Rosie.
I knew I could trust you.
[Stammers] Rosie? Then you're not French?
No, I'm not French.
You never deceived me for one moment.
I know a vulgar adventuress when I see one.
- You don't really think you'll get away with this. - Who's going to stop me?
When we sink your ship and throw your bodies to the sharks...
no one will ever know what happened on Monster Island.
[Man] Prepare to fiire.
- Ready. - [Rifles Cocking]
Aim.
Now!
Taskinar! He's getting away! [Groans]
Oh, no, you don't. Take that.
Freeze!
- [Man] Get your hands up. - [Rifle Cocks]
[Man Laughing]
The Chinaman!
- Well done, Meg. - Jeff!
[Meg] Oh!
Are you sure you want to come back?
Absolutely sure.
But you still haven't had your trip around the world.
What about your experiences?
I never want to go anywhere again without you, Meg.
As for experiences, well...
thanks to Monster Island...
I've had enough of those to last me quite a while.
Put them together.
My arrival opportune, yes?
- Don't tell me that he too- - Oh, yes.
Seng Vou is an explosives expert in San Francisco.
It was he who simulated the explosion of The Dream...
and the eruptions of the volcano.
I made big explosions.
It wasn't really very good.
- I knew the volcano eruption wasn't authentic. - Hmph!
[Captain] All right. Let's go.
- Ready to sail, sir. - Thank you, Captain.
Well, one thing I can say about our stay here...
nothing or nobody...
- will ever frighten me again. - [Firecrackers Exploding]
- Aaah! Oh! Aaah! Oh! - [Laughing]
[Chittering]