Mystery Girl (2011) - full transcript

Dear Leah,

so today is three months
since we broke up,

and it got me thinking.

Though what happened hurt,
it's history to me now.

And I'm doing great,
and I hope you are too.

All right.
This should be it.

What in the world
do you think you're doing?

What does it look like
I'm doing?

Destroying every last
ounce of your dignity

letter by letter.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!



Hey, I was just writing

a "hey, how you doing" note
to Leah... that's it.

Yeah.
And the point of that is...

Yeah, right, there is none.
Have you suddenly forgotten

that she cheated on you
with your best friend?

I thought you were
my best friend.

Well, I am now,
because I would never run off

with your wannabe
actress ex-girlfriend

who sliced your heart
into a thousand pieces

with an x-acto knife.

I've moved on.
Why can't you?

So what's
the noontime rating so far?

Lunch... solid eight.

Ladies... underwhelming four.



Don't you hate it
when the sandwiches

are twice as good as the women?

Depends on how hungry I am.

Hands down...

Better than my sandwich.

Okay, I...

Have just seen my destiny.

All due respect, sport,

there's gonna be a line
a mile long.

She just smiled at me.

I am a firm believer
that nothing can keep you

from being the one that
you're destined to be with.

So go after her.
Chat her up.

Sweep her off her feet.
Invite me to the wedding.

If I'm meant to meet her,
it'll just happen.

It'll happen naturally,
you know?

Yeah. Just like all the other
fantastic women you've met,

you know, naturally.

Okay. Well,
she's gonna be different.

Mom, look!
That car's been to mystery site.

- See the bumper sticker?
- Yeah. Look at that.

But... it doesn't have
a question mark.

It just has these swirls
like on a box of tide.

Well, that's
very mysterious, huh?

Mom, do you think there are
aliens at mystery site?

Or maybe dinosaurs.

Maybe the aliens
brought the dinosaurs.

Maybe my dad's there too.

These are just trial ads.

We've got a budget,
and if we nail it...

Nail this.
We'll demolish this.

- More more pizza coupons.
- Or focus groups.

Hey, ladies.

There's my destiny.

Okay, right this way.

You remember her?
I told you I'd meet her again.

Yeah, but if you want
to meet her, you know,

you have to actually meet her.

Here's your menu.
Your server will be with you.

Did you see the way
she smiled at me?

That was twice as big
as the smile...

she probably stepped on a nail.

That meant something.
That...

you get free tickets
to all the games,

passes to all kinds of
events and parties.

So far, it's been
a pretty cool job.

You should take down
my email address.

Ready?

It's "C" Andersen.
One word.

What are you doing?

Okay. Let me read this
back to you.

Yeah.

And that's,
that's Andersen with an e-n.

This... is what you call fate.

This doesn't even happen.

What are the odds?
That meant something.

Somebody orchestrated this.

Why don't you just talk to her?

"My name is Ben.
You're the girl of my dreams.

Would you like to spend
the rest of your life with me?"

I think, "hi, I'm Ben,"
covers it.

This...

This right here's fate.

The top five reasons
I'm your secret admirer.

Number five...
Because it's 2:00 a.m.,

the perfect time to do something

that scares you to death.

Hey.

Eat up, little man.

I wanna get to work early, okay?

And you're getting
your usual today.

Good?

What's up?

Does my dad like
peanut butter and jelly?

Well, who doesn't?

- Hey!
- You do it.

- You!
- Okay... Here you go.

Mom. Mom.

- What?
- That's not cool.

Okay.

What is cool?

I love you too.

- Hey, Chloe.
- Morning.

It's a late morning again.
Is Jim in yet?

Yeah. I think he's...

the game starts at 9:00,
Charley, not 9:15.

Yeah, i-I'm sorry, Jim.
The freeway was a parking lot.

- There was an accident.
- Actually, Jim,

the 405 was totally
backed up this morning.

It took me 30 minutes just
to get here from Doheny, so...

Well, I guess I gotta
factor that in.

Just remember, ladies,

if all our players
aren't in position,

the game ain't on.

Okay.

Thank you for that.

Jim's just a big softie.

Hey, how goes
the training program?

Everybody's been really nice.

Jim says it's a total
"springboard" into the majors.

So it's all cool.

Charley.
Charley...

Where are the summer
music jam reports?

They're on your desk in a folder

marked summer music jam reports.

Okay, cool.

And I fixed all your grammar
and corrected your typos.

That's our little workhorse.

So...

Tell me about Chloe Andersen.

Val? Sorry that I'm late.

You look like you had a night.

No.
A warning, actually.

Luke's officially a man.

He wouldn't let me kiss him
good-bye at the school bus.

Oh, well, brace yourself, honey.

It's a long haul.

Yeah.

Top five reasons
I'm your secret admirer.

Let me guess.

You bared your soul
and emailed a mystery girl

and you got back
a big, fat goose egg.

Okay, well, I sent
the email last night,

and when I sent it,
it was very late, so...

yeah, well, whatever.

If you don't hear back
by lunchtime,

that goose egg is cooked.

Now, can we talk Argomont?

Yeah.

"Number four...

"Because I brush up against
a thousand strangers a day,

"but it wasn't until I saw you

"that I realized I was alone.

"Number three... Because I see
poetry in your soul.

"Number two...

"Because I see light
in your eyes.

"And number one...

Because you take my breath
away."

Four things
you should know about me.

Number one... I am not,
nor have I ever been, a player.

Number two... I've never
hooked up online.

Number three... I make
a killer pesto sauce.

"Number four...
I believe in true love."

Thanks for showing this to me.

Yeah, well, at first
I wasn't gonna show anybody,

but...
What do you think?

Well, I...

Think either he's the greatest
guy in the world

or big trouble.

Yeah. Forget it.

I am not writing him back.

Did I say that?

Ladies, the Superla Fitness
meeting has been pushed up.

And we've got changes.

And...

What is that fragrance?

It's called "I'm your boss,
I'm married,

"I'm old enough to be
your mother,

and you're old enough
to know better."

Now, how do they
fit all that in the bottle?

Hey, Ryan, think fast!

Get that down!

Give me some, man!

What's up?
Yo, baby.

Get me a coffee, light,
two sugars.

Never mind.
I'll get it myself.

Well, I guess we know
he's not my secret admirer.

Yeah.
But who is?

Those are gorgeous.

- Are they yours?
- Someone just sent them.

No note or anything.
It's probably a mistake.

Well, maybe you have
a secret admirer.

Oh, my gosh.

That'd be so romantic!

And you wouldn't worry
that they were weird or...

What?
And ruin all the fun?

Game 1.

Yeah. Okay.

Do I know you?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ho!

Collin. It's her.
It's her.

She wrote.
She writes!

She has written me!

- No... way.
- Yes, way.

- What'd she say?
- I don't know, I didn't...

I didn't open it yet.

What are you waitin' for?
Open it.

Okay, let's... let's...
let's...

"Do I know you?"

That's it?

Well, what's wrong with that?

I mean, that... that's a...
that's a very valid question.

It's not exactly bursting
with enthusiasm.

Okay. But it's a start.

Tell me you're not already
answering her.

That is exactly what I'm doing.

No, but I'm fascinated by you.

Isn't that a great place
to start?

Now... the sooner
she gets to know the real me,

the better.

"No, but I'm fascinated by you.

Isn't that
a great place to start?"

"And five reasons
why I am."

Listen to this,
listen to this, listen to this.

"Number five... Because
I've never had a secret admirer,

and I'm choosing to believe
you're not a complete psycho."

Her first mistake.

She's irreverent.
I love that.

"Number four... Because
I could eat my body weight

"in good pesto sauce.

Number three... Because
I like your choice of words."

This is good.
This... this is a good one.

"Number two... Because
you make me feel alive."

What's number one?

"Number one...
Because I'd like to think

that I also believe...
In true love."

- Bull's-eye!
- Yeah, you got that right.

Hang on.

"But the fact remains...

"That I have no idea who you are

"or even what you look like,
a distinct disadvantage,

"considering you seem to know
exactly who I am.

Frankly,
it's a little creepy."

Well, it is.

Maybe I should send her
a picture.

No. No, no pictures.

If this thing goes south

and she recognizes you
on the street,

she's gonna punch
your lights out.

That's a good point.

Then she concludes with,
"and while I'm definitely

"not comfortable
meeting in person,

I may be open to getting to know
you better through words."

Way before there was C Anderson,

actually, way, way before
there was you,

there was my first
major crush... Miss Jackson,

my sixth grade teacher.

Hey! Hear the big news?

Val.

Are you and cyber guy...

A little bit.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Tell me everything.

So what's the big news?

- Well...
- Howdy, neighbor.

Chloe got promoted
to coordinator.

Seems like Jim likes some of
her marketing ideas.

Is this the extra credit thing?

Crazy, huh?

Congratulations.
You must be thrilled.

And shocked.
And a little overwhelmed.

But... whatever.
I'm ready to dive in.

Don't forget, Chloe.
Anything you need...

Just ask Charley horse.

She's our go-to gal around here.

Now, on a different note,
you and I,

promotional lunch, 1:00?
What do you say?

Yeah.

All right!

All right!
She's goin' out with me!

Hey, your laundry
is done, kiddo.

Come get it.

You know what
to do with it, right?

You weren't the only one
with the teacher crush.

Mine was my eighth grade
math teacher, Mr. Duncan.

Only one word could
describe him... Perfect.

Turns out another word
could also describe him...

shoplifter.

My best friend is my dog bowie,

after David, of course.

And he has one blue eye
and one brown eye.

My weirdest job...

I've had more women
in my life than most.

I was a child superstar...

In my mind.

I was a star athlete...

Not.

Dessert.
I love pie.

You?

Who doesn't love pie?

Who's a genius?
Yeah, that's right.

- I'm a genius.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yours... were almost
as good as mine.

What jumpstarted
your creative engine?

Oh, yeah!
The "e-lationship."

Elation's right.
This will be priority.

- Thank you.
- Two of those.

For you.

For me?
From who?

Your secret admirer.

Aka, me.

It's just a small thank you

for helping me edit my proposal.

Well, thank you, Chloe.
They're beautiful.

You looked freaked there
for a second.

It's the whole secret admirer
concept, isn't it?

Actually, I kind of have one.

I mean, it's nothing.
We're just exchanging emails.

Charley, that's so exciting!

Are you guys gonna meet?

No!

Gosh, no.

I mean... Not yet.

If... ever.

I don't know.

Listen, I'm having
this little dinner party

Saturday night at my house.

You should come.

There'll be
some cute guys there.

Actually...

My babysitter is out of town
this weekend, so...

don't you remember
that Luke has a sleepover

with the boys on Saturday?

Since when is there a sleepover?

Since right now.
She'll be there with bells on.

Super!

Rusty left years ago.

It's time to get back
out there, don't you think?

Now, dude, I know I've been
sort of ragging on you

on this whole C Anderson
experiment,

but how's it going?

Very romantic.

We've been exchanging stories
back and forth.

I feel like we're getting
to know each other.

It's weird but cool.

To be honest, she comes across

a lot different than she looks.

Yeah? How?

Funnier.
More down to earth.

Like one of those people

that has no idea
how beautiful they are.

Hopefully you come off
different than you look too.

And you know what's so strange?

Ever since
this whole thing started,

every time I'm out,
I feel like I see her.

Oh, margaritas!

That really is her.

Tell me she doesn't see me,
please.

I don't want her to think
I'm a stalker.

Would you get a grip?

She doesn't know what
you look like, remember?

That's right.
She doesn't, does she?

I can walk right up to her,
stare her right in the eye,

and she'd have no idea
it was me.

- What are you doing?
- I don't know.

- I don't know.
- Do you wanna blow your cover?

Because I know you... you will.

Besides, is this how or where

you want your angel
to meet her soul mate?

Yeah.

You know, as a matter of fact,
let's...

Let's just get outta here.

Let's go si...

I'm so sorry!

- Oh, my gosh!
- That is...

Oh, my... I'm so...

I'm so sorry, I...

I will pay for your dry cleaning

or at least buy you
another shirt.

- Don't worry about it.
- Let me buy you a drink.

- I mean...
- You know, how 'bout...

Coffee?

You know, tomorrow.

I don't even know you.

But we would
get to know each other.

Over coffee.

I'll tell you what.
I'm...

I'm having some friends over
Saturday night.

Stop by if you want.

I would love to.

I'm Ben Martin.

See you Saturday night,
Ben Martin.

I look forward to it.

It's nice meeting you.

- I'm sorry.
- That's quite all right.

Little chilly, but it's okay.

Nice meeting you.

It's getting interesting.

That was different.

Is Natalie here?

Yeah! Yeah,
she's gonna be here later.

Charley!
You made it!

And you brought a... Pie.

Yeah. Sorry.

I didn't realize...
What a party.

Right.
What'd I tell you?

- What's this?
- Okay, this is how it works.

Women get locks, men get keys.

If they're a fit, it's a match.

Or whatever you want it to be.

Chloe throws the most
amazing theme parties.

I will take that.

Thanks.

You didn't tell me
this was a singles party.

Would you have come if I did?

She brought a pie.

What a house, huh?
How do you...

My cousin.
Well, second cousin.

He's working in London
for the year,

and he asked me to house-sit.

Would not take a dime.

Am I like the luckiest
person alive?

- Hey.
- Hi!

- May I?
- Of course. Of course.

Mingle!

Okay.

Too bad.

I'm sorry.

Wish it luck.
Wish it luck.

No. No.

Sorry.

What is this, national pie day?

Who told these people
to bring pies?

Maybe next time you'll get it.

Chloe?

Chloe. Hey...

It's Ben. Ben.

Ben... Ben Mar-Martin.

Right!

The guy who wore my margarita.

Yes!
I wore your margarita.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

I brought you a pie.

Somebody took it.

That's the second pie tonight,

but who doesn't like pie, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

So this is a bit...

Less intimate than I expected.

Well, it's a lock and key party,

- so the more the merrier.
- It's a lock and...

Of course
it's a lock and key party.

Yeah.

Shall we get this party
started...

- Chloe!
- Aah!

- Catch you later!
- Hi!

Okay.
Yep.

- Hey! How are you?
- He's over there.

Excuse me.

Have you ever...
Been to one of these?

No. Can't say
I've had the pleasure.

- You?
- I actually went to

a college mixer
for Halloween one year

where you had to dress up as
your favorite kitchen utensil.

I don't really guess

that counts, though, does it?

Hi. I'm Ben.

And I have looked stupid
plenty of times.

As a matter of fact,

I probably look
pretty stupid right now.

I'm Charley, and if
anybody looks stupid right now,

it's probably me.

I brought a pie.

I brought a pie!
I'm not kidding!

I brought a pie here tonight!

- Really?
- Yes!

And you don't
look stupid at all.

Quite the contrary,
as a matter of fact.

You look... Very nice.

Thank you.

Oops.
Sorry, sorry.

But you are clearly very drunk.

No, I'm...

If I was drunk, trust me,

I would be standing
on a table humiliating myself

singing some old,
unrecognizable song

at the top of my lungs.

- Like what?
- I would probably

be singing "you don't have
to say you love me" by Dusty...

Dusty Springfield.
I love Dusty.

Seriously, that... that...
that's crazy.

In my opinion, Dusty in Memphis

is probably the...
the best record ever made.

Yes!

Yes!

So are... are you
friends with Chloe?

Yeah.
We work together.

You?

Well...
If I'm being honest,

I actually thought tonight
was gonna be our first date.

I think tonight
is supposed to be

- a lot of people's first date.
- No, a proper date.

With a beginning,
a middle, and an end.

Well, the night is young.

If you're lucky,
you might still get an end.

- Hey, you two.
- Hey!

Having fun?

Yeah. We were just
talking about Dusty Springfield.

Is that a new air freshener?

- No...
- No.

Are you... are you having fun?

- I always have fun.
- Yeah.

Even though no one's key's
opened my lock yet.

- Wanna try it?
- Yes, I will...

Give that a shot...

And see...

Yeah... no.

It's just... hang on.

- No.
- No.

I don't think it's gonna work.

Yep. No.

Have you two tried?

- No.
- No, we haven't, actually.

We didn't...
come on.

Don't be... don't be shy.

- Okay.
- Wanna... Give it a shot?

Let's see.

And...

- It fits!
- Okay.

Everyone, we have
our first fitting couple!

Ha ha!
Picture time.

- Okay.
- It's the rules.

- Yep.
- Closer.

Closer, closer.

Bigger smiles, you two!

Okay.

Excellent.

Abby will email it to you both.

- Okay.
- Just make sure I get

your email addresses
before you leave.

- Will do.
- Okay, gang.

Let's see who else
is meant for each other.

Okay. So what now?

Pie?

We should have pie,
shouldn't we?

No one's gonna eat our pie.

We should at least
have a slice, right?

Yeah, actually,
I'm gonna... Take off.

But you should stick around
and get to know Chloe.

Well, in that case, Charley,
it was a pleasure to meet you.

It was.

But it wa... it was nice.

You seem like a...
A good guy, Ben.

So... Here.

Stay that way.

Thank you.

Hey, you.

- Did you have fun?
- We played guitar hero

and had three different
kinds of pizzas.

- Hey, guys.
- Come on!

- Thanks for the assist, Val.
- Honey,

anything to get your love life
out of neutral.

So how was the little soiree?

Not so little.

It was a singles party

for 300 of Chloe's
closest friends.

So basically, it was torture.

Though there was
this lock and key theme,

which I guess
was an okay icebreaker.

Anybody okay break your ice?

No, not really.

Charley...

Well, there was
this one guy, Ben,

but he's all gaga
for Chloe, so...

At least you met
once decent guy.

That should give you hope.

Well, there's always
your email fella.

Yes.

Boys, come on.

Mom?
Mom, I don't wanna go.

- Can we stay a little longer?
- Thanks again.

Our pleasure.
See you later.

What did you do last night?

Big party.

Well, did you meet
anyone interesting?

I'll never...

Tell.

Well, I'll take that
as a "yes."

Whatever. You know men.
They never call...

Just email.

Maybe...

You'll be surprised.

Game 1.

- Chloe?
- No, this is Charley.

Chloe's in a meeting.
Can I take a message?

Charley as in...
"I brought a pie" Charley?

Ben?

Hey.

I had no idea
that you were Chloe's assistant.

I'm not.
I'm just covering her phone.

If you'll
excuse me for a moment,

I'm just gonna pry my foot
right out of my mouth.

Sure. Go right ahead.

Okay. I'm back.

So what did I miss
after I left the party?

Just more of my witty repartee.

Any drunken singing?

Unfortunately not.
I switched to 7up midstream.

See? And I was sure
you'd end up taking requests.

So that's why you left, huh?

Well, I'll tell Chloe
you called.

Does she have your number?

I will give it to you right now.

It is area code 323-555-0184.

Got it.

I'll talk to you soon, Charley.

Yeah, men, they say
they'll call, and they never do.

Take care, Charley.

Charley.

Charley, sit down.

Is something wrong?

I've been offered a job
in Chicago.

Chicago?
What kind of job?

VP of marketing
for Argomont hotels.

Oh, my gosh!

What'd you say?

I said yes.

- I leave in a month.
- Val, congratulations.

I'm so happy for you guys.

Charley.

No...

Sorry.

Sorry...

It's just...

Who am I gonna...

Cook my famous
pesto lasagna for?

And you know how much
Luke loves the boys and...

if I have anything
to say about this,

you're not losing a friend...
you're gaining a promotion.

I'm gonna talk to Jim
about you this afternoon.

Jim still thinks
I'm an assistant.

Jim thinks every woman's
an assistant.

You know more

than anybody out there,
including Jim.

Everybody knows it!

I can't promise anything,

but I'm gonna do
my best sales job.

You're amazing.

But what do you think
the chances

of that really happening are?

What is meant to be will be.

Nothing.

Sorry.

I didn't want to wait
for the elevator,

and I'm late enough as it is.

No worries.

Hey, work perk alert.

I have floor seats
to tonight's game.

Wanna go with?

No, I actually have
a date with Luke tonight.

Darn.

Everyone I've asked is busy.

I was really hoping
for a fun night out.

Well, why don't you take Ben?

Ben...

Ben! Yeah.

I forgot to call him back.
My bad.

You can make amends
with basketball tickets.

Hello... Luke.

Do you work here?

I'm seven.

That's it?

Yeah, that's... Probably
not enough to work here, is it?

Would you happen to know

where I could find
Chloe Anderson?

Everyone
is in the conference room.

Whoa!

That's pretty cool.
What is that?

Mystery site.

Like the place mystery site?

Have you ever been there?

Unfortunately,
I have never been there.

There was one a few hours
from where I grew up.

I never got to go.
Supposed to be amazing, though.

Like balls roll uphill,
cars move without being started.

- Like that sorta stuff.
- No way!

- Yes way.
- How do they do it?

See, that's... The mystery.
That's what makes it cool.

- Yeah.
- It's a mystery.

My mom was supposed
to take me there last summer.

But then I got chickenpox.

Ooh, chicken pox?

And he's been obsessed
with the place

since we saw the bumper sticker
for it last year.

Now it's like his holy grail.

Hello, Charley.

Hi, Ben.

So that little dude is yours?

Yeah, just for the last
seven years,

so I think I'll keep him.

Good idea.

Mom. I can hear you.

I know you can.

She promised to take me
to mystery site this summer.

You wanna come?

Yeah!

Yeah, I'll go
to mystery site with you.

Of course! Yeah.
I've never been.

Here. As a reminder.

- Okay.
- You'll let me keep this?

Serious?

Okay.

Sweet, dude.

Right on!

- Thank you, man!
- You're welcome.

Mom, can I go photocopy my butt?

Hands only, buster.

Okay.

Yeah, that light'll
burn your butt.

I tried that.

You know,

you might not wanna mention
the mystery site again

or he'll be all over you.

He never forgets a thing.

That's okay.
Neither do I.

And I believe someone owes me

a chorus of Dusty Springfield.

Be careful what you wish for.

Because I may bust that out
at any given moment

and humiliate myself.

Why do I always find
you two together?

- Ready for some hoop action?
- I am ready.

Yeah? All right.
Let's go.

- Have fun, guys.
- Okay. Thanks.

- Bye.
- Bye!

Luke! Come on.
It's time to go.

That was one of the best games
I've seen in a long time.

Thank you very much
for inviting me.

Of course.

Hey, Ben,
you two ready to order?

I just can't decide.

It's just...

Shall I order for us?

Sure. Let's see
how psychic you are.

Okay.

Linguini and chicken
with extra pesto sauce.

Yum. Pesto.

But no Linguini.
Just the chicken.

Light on the pesto
and extra veggies, please.

Thanks.

I'll just have it
the way it comes.

- Thank you.
- I'm on a no-carb kick.

Trying to get back
into a size 2.

You can't tell me that you're
worried about your weight.

You're perfect.

What else do you think
you know about me?

I see a Chloe who's bright...

Ambitious.

Very capable.

But most likely has had
some doors open to her

because she's so beautiful.

Go on.

I see a Chloe

that, despite her beauty,

good fortune,
and numerous friends,

at the end of the day...

At the end of the day
just wants one thing,

and that's... True love.

But that special someone

is a little more difficult to
find than she would have thought

because most guys,
especially the right guys,

find her too unapproachable,

too out of their league,
so much so

that I bet they don't even try.

So... she has decided
to think outside of the box

and...
Give romance a try.

See if it leads somewhere
new and fulfilling.

- Was I close?
- Pretty good.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

It's weird.

It's like... Ben knows me.

Like he's looked into
my soul or something.

Well, there's nothing
like a sensitive guy.

Yeah. For the first time,

I feel like I've met a guy
who likes me for...

What's in here.

Yeah, well, sensitive guy or no,

what's out here is what's
driving that boy's train.

I don't know, Val.
This one may be different.

What about you?

Haven't heard you mention
phantom of the email recently.

That's because he...
Stopped emailing.

Maybe he's busy.
Or out of town?

Maybe it's your turn
to email him,

and he's waiting on you.

Come on, let's face it, Val.

It's crazy.

I've been having feelings
for a guy

I've never even met,

know nothing about,
who could be absolutely anybody.

And I have a child
to think about.

I can't be bringing
strange men into his life.

That hasn't exactly
been a problem.

Whatever.

I'm breaking it off
with artboy right now.

I've met someone.

Collin, check this out.

You're gonna want to hear this.
It's from C Anderson.

"Dear artboy, I've enjoyed
getting to know you,

"but I need to move on.

"I met someone real,
someone I like,

"that guy from the party
I mentioned,

"and I think it's best if
I just focus on him right now.

I hope you understand.
All the best. C"

she likes me.

She didn't want to see
anybody else.

Congrats, bro.
You're in.

"I totally understand.
He sounds like a great guy.

"Go for it!

Good luck, c."

Ben just called.
Suddenly all excited.

Wants to take me away
to Joshua tree for the weekend.

It's a magical place.
You'll have a great time.

What's there, exactly?

Well, it's a park in the desert

with cactus, wild flowers,

beautiful Joshua trees.

Starry nights.

Maybe we'll stop at the outlets
on the way there.

What about you?

What are you doing
for the weekend?

Are you finally meeting
your secret admirer?

Hardly.

I just e-dumped him.

I have lots of guys
I can fix you up with.

Aside from the ones
at the party.

No. I'm no good
on blind dates.

Well, how do you expect
to meet someone?

The internet?

I'll tell you what.
We'll go on a double date.

Me and Ben.

You and...
Someone fab I come up with.

But there's just one thing.

If you're gonna jump back
into the dating pool,

you may need a little bit
of a... Visual reboot.

What?

What are you doing after work?

Jim.
You remember Charley.

This is the greatest comeback
since the '69 Mets.

Chloe.

Gonna introduce me to your f...

Charley.

I mean, this is unbelievable.

Is that a compliment?

I mean, if you want it to be.

Of course she does.

Oh, my gosh!
Charley!

Va-va-voom!

It was all Chloe.
She's a makeover queen.

No, don't listen to her.
She's got the goods.

Okay, Chloe, I'm next.

You know what?

Operation Charley goes dating
starts immediately.

What are you doing
tomorrow night?

Mom, you look pretty.

I'm glad you did a do-over.

It's a makeover.

And thank you, honey.

You know what?

I'm starting to feel
kind of pretty.

Are you gonna
bring me home a new dad?

I'm goin' on a date,

not a shopping spree.

That's too bad.

Hey.

You know what?

One day,
you might have another dad.

But for right now,
the only thing that matters

is that I love you
very, very much, okay?

I know, mom.

And this time,

no tying up the babysitter.

- Okay.
- She's old.

Charley, this is Gabe.

Hi, Gabe.
Nice to meet you.

Hey. Chloe's told me
all about you.

But I showed up anyway.

Charley, Gabe's got a wicked
sense of humor.

Hey, everybody.

I am so sorry that I am late.

Hi.

Charley, you look...

Amazing.

Chloe said that you had
a makeover...

Exam.

At work.
So...

- Hey, I'm Ben.
- Gabe.

Nice to meet you.

I'm not sure I like the way
you're lookin' at my date.

Would you rather
I look at you that way?

I love this guy.
Give it here.

Who's hungry?

I am.

See, I never got the hang
of twirling spaghetti.

How are you doing that?

Momento.
Let me show you the manner

from Sicily...

How to-a twirl the spaghetti.

First you take-a the fork and...

And you make the swirl
like this.

And when you have the pasta
on-a the fork

and after the twist and swirl...

Then you eat!

Bravo.

Gabe, Charley has the most
adorable seven-year-old son.

Oh, yeah?
What's he do for a living?

Well...

Actually, Luke, in his mind,

plays for the Dodgers,

but in reality, he's just
learning how to throw a ball.

Not that I am the best
teacher, 'cause I'm not.

Well, I'd offer to help,
but I make kids cry.

Most adults too.

Charley, I'm actually happy
to teach Luke if you'd like.

I wouldn't ask you to do that.

No. It's okay.

You're kidding.

- No.
- Really?

Well...

Well, if it's okay, I'm...
I'm sure he'd love it.

It's a date then.

What a guy!

Okay, so Ben's a prince.
We get it.

Now can we talk about me?

Yes. Of course.

Gabe, what do you do
for a living?

Me? I run a charm school.

Kidding.

Yeah, I'll take the bread.

Tonight wasn't so bad, was it?

No. I'm not sure Gabe
is the right match for Charley,

but...

That was the best I could do
on short notice.

Anyway, you gotta kiss
a bunch of frogs

before you meet your prince.

Because you believe in
true love, right?

I believe in true luck.

At least, that's how life's
worked for me, anyway.

The other night at dinner
you said

you only wanted one thing.

You said that was true love.

No. You said it for me.

Besides, just because
I may want it

doesn't mean I believe
it actually exists.

That's not very romantic of you.

No.

But this is.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

So Charley's dating
random jerks.

Maybe I should be dating her.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Charley's a good girl, you know?

She's nice, sweet, kind.

She's practically
a perfect woman.

Last thing she needs to be doing

is dating a cynic like you.

Off the board.

Unbelievable.

Well, maybe...
She should be datin'

someone like...

I don't know, yourself?

What is that supposed to mean?

It's just that you're awfully
fond of a lady

that you're not even
actually dating.

I can have a girlfriend
and a friend at the same time.

Nothing wrong with that.
It's called multitasking.

- Come on.
- It's called being soft.

But anyway... how is the lovely
Chloe doing?

She's...

She's just ridiculously hot.

You know?
That's how she is.

I just think she might have
a problem sharing in person.

You know?

What now?

It's just last night

she had a completely
different take on true love

than when we spoke online...
it was completely different.

It's just...
It's just confusing to me.

It's one thing to say it online.

It's another thing
to say it to her face.

Fade away!

Not even close.
Not even close.

We stayed up all night
searching for UFOs,

which was kind of fun
for the first hour,

then became pointless.

Ben made a fire with twigs.

He's such a boy scout.

We toasted marshmallows.

Though I made Ben
eat my marshmallows,

'cause I'm totally
off sugar now.

My favorite part.

We stopped at the outlets
on the way back.

Ben. Hey.

Are your ears burning?

- He says hi.
- Tell him I said hi back.

And that now
Luke keeps asking me

when he's gonna teach him
how to throw a hard ball.

Did you get that?

Okay, let's see what you got.

Fire it right down the tube.

Okay.

That wasn't bad.

That was totally bad.

- I throw like my mother.
- That's not true.

You throw much better than her.
I've seen her throw.

Your skills far surpass hers.

Okay. I'll be waiting
on the bench.

- Okay.
- When I was your age,

I could even throw that well.

True story.
But I practiced and I practiced,

and a couple years later,
I was bringing the heat.

Or at least some warmth by then.

So come here.
Check this out.

The peace sign, right?

You're gonna put the ball
right between two fingers.

You're gonna rest it
on that knuckle,

clamp it with your thumb,
just right here.

The same arm
that you throw with,

you're gonna push off that leg.

Just point to where
you wanna throw.

And watch.
Straight over your head here...

Right there.

Give it a shot.
Let's check it out.

Okay, watch this, mom!

Watch this!

Watch this.

I got a good feeling about this.

Right down the pipe.

One lesson!

I'm the Phil Jackson
of pee wee ball!

Again!

Right down the pipe.
Yes!

You know, I really
can't thank you enough.

Are you kidding?

I had a blast out there.

Luke is a great kid.

You're obviously a great mom.

I don't wanna be intrusive,
but...

Where's his dad?

He left...

He left right after
Luke had his first birthday.

So...

So he's not in Luke's life
at all?

His loss.

And Luke's, of course.

Well, it's good
you're dating again.

Right?

Yeah, right now I'm kinda
stalled in that department.

Get outta here!

You're a great catch.

You deserve a great guy.

He's out there.

I'm sure you'll find him.

Nice, dude, nice!

- Surprise.
- Oh... Ben.

You scared the life out of me!

What are you doing here?

I'm here for
Charley's thank-you lunch.

I forgot.

You know, actually, guys,
I have a lot of work to do.

I'll probably just order in.

But you two go.
Enjoy yourselves.

Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah, go.

Okay. All right.

We're still on for tonight,
though, right?

- Absolutely.
- Okay.

- All right. Bye.
- Bye. See you later.

Bye.

Okay, so what is your
all-time favorite sad movie?

Sad movie...

The notebook.

Because I loved Gena Rowlands
in it.

She was stellar in that.
I will give you that.

What about comedy?

What's your favorite
comedy of all time?

Okay, well, you can't...
Judge me.

I have to hear it first.

16 candles.

Who doesn't like 16 candles?
Are you kidding me?

What about dessert?
What's your favorite dessert?

Pie, of course.

Think we talked about that one.

We certainly did.

What about...

Your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory.

That's big...

That would have to be...

Riding bikes
with my dad at the beach

really early in the morning,
just the two of us.

All right.
My turn.

- Go.
- Okay.

- Favorite color.
- Blue.

- Favorite band.
- Beatles.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You say that
like you're surprised.

What is that... is that
too old-school for you?

No, I just figured you
for a stones fan.

Well, I am a stones fan,

but if I had to pick one,
desert island style,

I would go with Beatles.

Interesting.

So is the new and improved
Charley

getting a little cozy
with your man?

What? No.
They're just friends.

He did her a favor,
so she's just returning it.

Does that mean
that you're free for lunch?

Check this out.

I'm buying.

Be ready in five.

Favorite moment in the last...

Three months.

That would be Chloe's
lock and key party.

I met a new friend that night.

- Burger and fries?
- Yes.

Yes, ma'am.

- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.

Thanks.

What?

I'm just thinking...

the only thing on that plate
that Chloe would eat

is the pickle.

And I'm not even certain
about the pickle.

Okay, well...

If it's not moving
or some unidentifiable color,

I'm there.

A woman after my own heart.

Thank you for boosting
his confidence.

Although, you better be careful.

With all your talk,

he's gonna end up wanting
to call you for a playdate.

That's okay.
We can move on to basketball...

hey, guys.

We were just out
for a quick lunch.

I thought... I thought
you had a lot of stuff to do.

- Well, it was...
- you know what they say.

All work and no play makes
Chloe no fun for the Benji.

We can't have that, now, can we?

Yeah.
I guess...

I guess we can't have that.

Well, bye, Charley, Chloe.

- See you soon, Ryan.
- Ben.

Bye, Ben.

After you, ladies.

I wonder what drives you,
what makes you tick.

What thrills you,
what... what do you value?

From the simplest things
to the deepest.

I do.

And maybe that's... More than
you want to know about me.

Now, that's not true at all.

I'm very interested in you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- What's my favorite color?
- What?

What's my favorite color?

- Red.
- It's blue.

Actually.

What's my favorite band?

- Ben folds.
- Ben... Folds. No.

What position did I play
in little league?

- How should I know?
- Because I played right field.

Where is this coming from?

This isn't because I went out
to lunch with Ryan, is it?

- It's not.
- Because Ryan's nobody.

We just work together.

It's not about Ryan.

Anyway, I'm sorry.
I am.

I know.
Let's watch a DVD.

Clear our heads.

What's your favorite fun movie?
Maybe we have it here.

Would you happen to have
16 candles?

I'll go check.

The top five reasons

I'm a total loser.

Don't do this, Charley.

This better be good...

For a weekend 8:00 a.m.
wakeup call.

Okay.

Guess who artboy
got an email from last night?

Angelina Jolie.
She wants to have your kid.

- C Anderson.
- Chloe emailed you?

That's your big Sunday
emergency?

I never gave her
the artboy email address.

- For obvious reasons.
- Whatever.

- Why?
- I don't know, you know.

If she ended it with cyber me

because she was into real me...

She's cheating on you.

With you.

That's classic!

Okay, that's not...
that's not funny.

- It's kinda funny.
- No, it's not.

Okay. Why? What happened?
What'd you do?

We got into a little fight,
but it was tiny.

I mean, it was...
Inconsequential, you know?

It's certainly not
a deal breaker,

- I wouldn't think.
- Maybe not to you.

Artboy has to meet C Anderson.

In the flesh.

And you have to do it right now,

nip it in the bud
before it gets too complicated

and you lose her entirely.

- Right?
- Yeah.

C. Great to hear from you.

It's time for us to meet...
In person.

Please say yes.

Okay. Let's do it.

How's tomorrow, 1:00 p.m.,

the tables at the skylight
market place?

They can't blame me, you know,

- if they don't get the work done.
- Yeah, I know!

So you guys really
don't think I'm crazy?

Charley, you're meeting him
in a crowded public place,

outdoors in broad daylight.

- You'll be fine.
- However...

If he looks remotely
like Hannibal Lector, skedaddle.

You know, it's wild
that after all those emails,

you still don't know
what he looks like.

Yeah, well, he didn't
want to send a photo,

and, frankly, neither did I.

You know what?
What the heck?

I'll go.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I wanna see this guy.

Okay.

Okay, so what's your
mental picture?

Okay, tallish...

Maybe a little scruffy.

Kind eyes.

Soulful looking.

Yeah. Soulful.

And a cute butt.

Well, yeah.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

If artboy's half as great
as you say he seems,

you should have done it
a long time ago.

What if he's here now?

I don't want him to know
that you're my bodyguard.

Okay, I got it.

I'll just casually go over
there and window-shop.

And then I'll casually sit
a few tables away,

and if it's a bust,
sneeze twice.

I'll just call your cell phone
with a family emergency.

Okay. I feel like
I'm in sixth grade.

Ooh! I loved the sixth grade.

Bye, Charley.
I'll see you back at the office.

- Is this seat taken?
- I don't believe it is.

Perfect.

Thanks.

What's up with this guy, right?

Hey, man.

C Anderson?

Ben! It's you!

Yes...

C Anderson...

It is me, Ben.

What brought that on?

Just... the sum total of
all of our experiences online.

I just... I just...

feel like that's the first time

that I kissed the real...
C Anderson.

I thought you were gonna
be at the tables.

Are you okay?

Yeah, it's just...

Just the big... Picture
becoming clear.

Yeah.
You could say that.

You really didn't know?

No.

There you go.
Made you some hot green tea,

and I ordered Chinese.

Chicken and veggies only.
No carbs.

Thanks.

Ben, how did you first
get my email address?

I overheard you
giving your email address

to your friend,
and I wrote it down.

But wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

I know that that's...
Crazy and it's wrong,

but I don't regret it,

because we got to
meet each other.

Chloe, when I first saw you...

Which was in the park
walking across the bridge,

I was taken.

Your blond hair and your
white dress were just...

Flowing in the wind.

To me, you looked like an angel.

Ben, there's something
I need to tell you...

Hold that thought.
Hold that thought.

Yeah.

No. Okay. Yeah.
I'll... no, tell him not to leave.

I'll be down there
to sign for it.

All right.

That was just Collin.

We're having some proofs
delivered,

and my name is on the box.
So I have to go down

and sign for it,
or we won't get it, okay?

So i-I'll be five minutes,
and I'll be right back.

Okay?

Just keep drinking the hot tea,

'cause you look better
already, okay?

I'll be right back.

"Dear C.

"I'm sorry I didn't
show up today.

"I know it was wrong,

"and I apologize
if I hurt you in any way.

"But I've realized
what we've had all along

"is just a fantasy,

"and it was probably foolish
on both of our parts

to think it could ever
be matched in reality."

Need I go on?

Secret admirer
wants to stay secret.

I need to read you this part.

"Please know that you'll
always live in my heart

"and that no one
can ever take away

the joy we've shared."

Hi, Chloe.
Where you been?

Just in with Jim.

He had a question
about one of the accounts.

I take it artboy didn't show?

Nope.

Warm heart, cold feet.

It's all in here.

Honey, I'm...
I'm sorry.

Not your fault.

You know, even though
I never met artboy,

I really felt like I knew him.

Because we talked about
so many things,

like little life things.

- You know?
- Yeah.

I'd like to believe

that at least
that part was real.

Oh, Chloe...

You didn't tell Ben that I was
meeting cyber guy, did you?

Ben?
No. Definitely not.

Okay. Good.

It's all just too mortifying.

I really don't want
anybody else to know, okay?

Ladies, company meeting
in the conference room.

- What's going on?
- I'm just a messenger.

- Can we shoot you?
- She's very cute.

You know, I think you're

finally warming up to me,
Charley horse.

You call me that again,
and I'll personally disable you

and enjoy every single
second of it.

Yes!

- I'm getting to her.
- You're getting something.

I don't get it.

I'm gone for five minutes,
and then she leaves.

And this is what... I find.

And why are you telling me...
what-what does

"I need time to think"
even mean?

I'm just riffing here,
but I'd say it means

she needs time to think.

I don't get it, you know?

- She said everything was fine.
- Maybe.

But the question remains...

Why did she email artboy again?

Team, we're gathered here
to bid fond farewell to Val

as she leaves the warm
and sunny playing fields

of Los Angeles

for the cold and windy expanses

of that toddlin' town Chicago.

- Aw!
- Here's your new uniform.

Thank you.

It's just what I needed.

And so slimming.

I also wanna give a shout-out
to Val's replacement,

and I'm happy to say
that despite the availability

of some talented players
from the outside,

I decided to promote

from within
our own championship team.

After all,

we are a promotions
company, right?

For put your hands together
for game 1's new

director of marketing...

Ryan Burke.

Congratulations.

- All right, Ryan.
- Kudos, Ryan.

Jim's an idiot
and he doesn't deserve you.

And you deserve better.

I was waiting to see
how things played out

with the job and with artboy
before I brought this up,

but, they said that I could
bring someone in

- to run my office.
- In Chicago?

I'm not gonna pull any punches.

It is cold.
It is like north pole cold.

But... if you're up
for the challenge...

Think on it.

I miss you already.

Me too, Charley.

Hey, Chloe, still working?

Yeah.

Trying to impress your new boss?

You should have gotten the job.

It's actually...
Quite liberating

not to get what you had
your heart set on

twice in one day.

Frees you from all expectation.

Charley, about your email guy...

he's the last person
I want to talk about right now.

- Yeah, I know, but...
- but nothing.

I refuse to devote another
second of my life to that man.

But...

I will say this.

I got to him.
That much I know.

Yeah.

Chloe, it's Ben.

I think we should talk.

So...

Just call me
whenever you're ready.

Okay.
Bye.

Hey, kid!

- Hey!
- What is up?

The sacred shirt.

And... my lucky
basketball shirt,

I'll have you know.

- So... hey, watch it.
- Thank you, Ben.

This is really above
and beyond the call of duty.

No worries.

I actually needed to see
a couple of smiling faces today.

Especially...

That one, right there.

That toothy grin.

Ready to tear up the court?

Let's see what you got, buddy.

All net.

Almost!

Harlem globetrotters style.
Before your time.

But meadowlark lemon, this guy...

trust me, this guy
was a wizard on the court.

Nice!

Twooo!

Nice!

He's really gonna
miss it here if we leave.

What are you talking about?

Well, there's a chance
I'll take that job

that Val offered me in Chicago.

Wait, you...

You might be moving?

I haven't told anybody yet...

Not Luke, but...

I'm just waiting for it
to actually happen first.

Okay.

That's... that's... that's,

that's a surprise.

Well, I'm not loading up
the trailer just yet.

No. I know.

I'd really miss
that little dude.

Yeah.
He'll miss you too.

So...

What is the potential job?

- Argomont hotels.
- You're kidding?

My partner Collin and I just did

some sample creative for them

through their local web.

We're potentially up
for a sizeable freelance gig.

- Really?
- Yeah!

Well, whether or not
I end up there,

I'll definitely
tell Val about it.

I'm sure she'll be able to help.

I... I didn't mean that.

It's just that, I mean,
if I got the job,

then maybe we'd... Find ourself
in the same city, you know?

Nice!

All right, great work, team.

Okay, on the count of three,
game 1's motto.

One, two, three.

There's no "I" in team.

- Louder!
- There's no "I" in team!

Break.

Hey, there, beautiful.

Are you talking to me?

There's a lunch table
at cafe piccolo

with our name on it.

Nice!

I'll meet you downstairs?

I like it.

Looking good, Charley horse.

Thanks, Ryan.

Hey... what's the deal
with you and Ryan?

I don't know.
He likes taking me to lunch.

He's actually kind of fun.

More fun than Ben?

Charley, about Ben...

I think, you know,
he's meant for somebody else.

Why do you say that?

Well, what if a guy...

He never really sees
the real you

because he doesn't want to ruin
the fantasy that he's created?

You talking about Ben
or my secret admirer?

I'm sorry, I didn't...

Mean to bring it back to me.

But Chloe,

you know that Ben's
really special, right?

- Yeah.
- Guys like him

don't come along every day.

You know, I just hate
to see you do something

you regret, you know?

Yeah.

Trying not to.

Hey.

How soon do you need me?

How 'bout yesterday?

Yes. Thank you.

I look forward to it too.

Bye.

- We got the argomont job.
- No.

- Yes.
- We did?

Yes!

Yes!

- Yes!
- Ha ha!

Your pal Charley
told Val about us,

so she got a hold of our comps.

She loved them.

She made it her first
executive decision!

We are in, baby!

You should call your friend
Charley and thank her.

No, no, no, no.

I gotta go to her office
and thank her in person.

- I'll be back.
- Okay. Great.

I can't believe how fast
all this has happened.

One day you're here,
the next day you're gone.

I know.

I'm just lucky that my landlord

had a waiting list for my unit.

Hey. I'm glad
I caught you.

I was just gonna stop by
to tell you thanks,

you know, for everything you...

no.
That was all Val's doing.

But I'm really glad
it worked out.

Yeah.
Yeah, me too.

So...
You're actually leaving.

Yeah.

Well, when they throw you
a going-away party,

there's no turning back.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

But...
Guess where I'm taking Luke

- on our way to Chicago.
- Where? Where?

The mystery site.
For his birthday.

Oh, my gosh!

I can't wait to see
the look on his face.

He's gonna flip out!

I wish I could
be there to see that!

Safe travels, you know,

and please,
tell Luke I say good-bye.

Give him a hug for me.

He's... he's gonna be
a dodger in no time.

I'll definitely tell him that.

And take care of yourself,
Mr. Ben.

I will.

And thank you so much,
Chloe, for the great send-off.

Good luck around here, okay?

Thank you.
Bye, guys.

Take care.

It's good to see you.

I hate Chicago.
It's stupid.

You can't hate someplace
you've never been,

and an entire city
can't be stupid.

- Yes, it can.
- Okay, go inside.

Check your room one more time

so we haven't forgotten
anything, okay?

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Hey, Chloe, what is it?

Everything okay?

I know
who your secret admirer is.

What?

Charley, it's Ben.

- Ben?
- Everything

that he thought
he loved about me was you.

Does Ben know about this?

I wanted to tell you first.

Can we...
Just keep it that way?

Okay, and now, you know,
I have so much stuff I gotta do,

so I'm gonna say good-bye.

- No...
- thank you.

Okay.

So I was emailing Charley
this whole time.

How'd that happen?

You know, for a guy
who's so interested

in life's little details,

there's one you never realized.

I spell my name with an e-n,
not an o-n...

Like Charley, who does.

C Anderson.

Look, Ben, I-I don't
mean to be harsh, but...

We don't belong together.

Yeah, I know.

And that's not to say

that you're not the nicest guy
that I've ever dated.

Or that I haven't really
enjoyed being with you,

but the truth is,

I belong with someone
more like...

Me.

And I need to be with someone...

Who knows your favorite color,

who actually likes pie and pesto

and Dotty Springsteen.

- Dusty Springfield.
- And most importantly,

someone who believes
in true love.

And who's probably pulling
out of her driveway as we speak.

Oh, my gosh!

Chloe?
Chloe!

I'm sorry, Chloe.
I gotta go.

Happy birthday!

Ha.

Thank you, guys.

You know what I wished for?

I wished I had a...

if you tell, it won't come true.

Says who?

I don't know.
But that's what they say.

Okay. Then...

Tell me what you would have
wished for.

Come on, mom.
You can tell me.

Hey, you just missed them.

Okay.

Thanks.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Would you happen to know
how to get to the mystery site?

Mom! Look!
Mystery site!

Thanks, mom.

This is gonna be
the best birthday ever.

We're here.
We're actually here!

I know, sweetheart.
Hey...

I know you've built
this place up

so much in your mind, but...

I just want to make sure you
don't get disappointed, okay?

I won't.
Come on!

All right, you go ahead.

I'll catch up.

Hey, mom! Look.

Don't tell me.

A dinosaur.

No. A dog.

And he has two different
color eyes.

Ben!

Ben!

Hey, hey, hey!
Little dude!

How are you?

Sorry for crashing, but...

I do...

Still have my invite.

Cool.

I'm gonna go play with the dog.

So do you...

Believe in true luck
or true love?

I think I'm...

Starting to believe
in a little bit of both.

Yeah?

Good.

Hey, mom, guess what?

My birthday wish came true.

That we come
to the mystery site?

Yeah.
That too.

Shall we?

Come on, boy.