My Thoughts Are Silent (2019) - full transcript

The Kingdom of Hungary.
Year 1526.

In a few hours, The Ottoman Empire

will destroy the army
of Louis II of Hungary.

Running away from the inevitable defeat,
the king tragically drowns in a swamp,

and the Kingdom of Hungary will lose its
independence for the next 100 years.

Is he mute ?

He lost his voice
when he was a kid

and so I, Imre, take care
of the church's business.

Let's get down to business then.

I have something that will
make your future church

the most popular destination
in the Kingdom of Hungary.



Listen, merchant,

cut out the teasers.

Me and Ishtvan
are not fans of foreplays.

Back in the IX century,

Europeans started to hunt for artifacts

relating to the earthy life
of Jesus Christ.

These artifacts prove that God exists.

Or at least that he existed... The most
valued artifacts are those, which...

What do you have ?

Something

that will bring here
not only local pilgrims

but also pilgrims
from the Polish Kingdom

and maybe even from
the Grand Duchy of Lithuania.

Nails ?



No.

Crown of thorns ?

No. Nothing connected
with passions.

- Foreskin ?
- No.

The baby tooth of the Savior.

Show it.

I can't...

If I open the box, the tooth
will get in contact with oxygen

and turn to dust.

And dust is not sellable.

- What did he say ?
- He says it's fake !

Tell him, he's wrong.

How can we trust you ?

This thing works miracles.

You can find this out for yourself

I will let you touch it,
then we'll meet in a week

and if a miracle happens in your life,

you buy it from me.

Should I use the index finger
or the middle one ?

As you wish.

What is he saying again ?

He says the middle finger
is more convenient

It's longer, so you don't need
to stretch that much.

How long shall I be touching it ?

It's enough.

How is it ?

Do you feel anything ?

Not yet, actually.

I'll meet you here in a week,

and there will be only
one question to answer:

"Has a miracle happened
in your life ?"

MY THOUGHTS ARE SILENT

VADIM ROTT

Based on a true story

Vadim Alexandrovich...

The dental implant surgery...

Sorry... Just call me Vadim.

Vadim,

the dental implant surgery,
in your case,

will cost a little more than usual.

How much ?

750 dollars.

Is it a price for all teeth ?

Just for one.
And that's without insurance.

Why is it so expensive ?

This is due to your
complicated jaw structure

and the complex nature
of your injury.

You feel bad ?

I feel, as if there is
a lump in my throat...

Somewhere near my Adam's apple.

Sometimes it feels like a real apple.

How big of an apple ?
Like a Mcintosch ?

More like a Granny Smith.

And when you try to swallow it...

It feels more like a Pink Lady.

Does your voice ever disappear ?

Only during sex.

- Regularly ?
- Once a month.

- I'm talking about the voice.
- Me too.

Shall I join you ?

All symptoms in our body

are the warning signals
of our sick consciousness,

that pleads for help.

Do you understand
what I'm talking about ?

About the ability to heal anything
with the power of thought ?

Yes, anything.
Apart from caries.

Look. This is something I show
to those special clients

who are unsure.

Above you have a healthy tooth,
below is a sick one.

This is what happens,
if it's not treated.

Do you see ? It holds on,
it clings, it tries to climb up.

But in the end... It falls.

Us, dentists, call it "inevitability".

Are you ready ?

The laugh of an old man coughing,

take 4.

- Go for it.
- I can't...

- Why not ?
- There's nothing to laugh about.

Nothing to laugh about ?

Let me crack you up
somehow. Okay ?

The Jew yells:
"What shall I do, God ?"

The God says:
"Trust me and let go of the branch".

The Jew thought for a moment
and screamed:

"Is there anyone else around ?"

Go for it.

- Laugh !
- I can't.

Could you do the cough part maybe ?

The cough part !

Coughing I could do,

laughing, not.

- What was that ?
- Homeric.

- Okay.
- And the sardonic ?

The next one.

Cool. Where's the old man ?

I only recorded...

- Cough !
- Don't worry about it, it's all right !

Anyways, man, thanks for the work !
I'll transfer you the cash on WebMoney.

Thank you.

Listen, do you mind
if we speak in Ukrainian ?

- Sure !
- I'd like to practice a little bit.

I can't promise, that I'm gonna be
amazing but it will mean a lot to me.

Okay, Peter Oleksiiovych.

- Petro.
- Sorry, sorry.

Petro Oleksiiovych, maybe you have
any other work for me ?

I've quit my film set job
but I have to keep paying my loan.

- The loan ? Have you moved ?
- If only...

I have got myself new teeth.

- What happened with the old teeth ?
- Professional injury.

I have something
but I don't know, if it's for you

it seems that you've overgrown
tasks like these.

- Where is it coming from ?
- From Canada ! Where else ?

From the studio of my friend.
Jamie Tkachuk.

Jamie Tkachuk ? Seriously ?

I'll read you the brief. Coffee ?

Jamie says, they need the sounds
of animals of the Ukrainian fauna,

wild and domestic.

What for ?

It's for a video game, man. That's
what we do. We do video games.

They pay twenty five Canadian
dollars for each recording.

How much is this ?

I don't know, it's like twenty bucks
in real money.

They need different animals,

pigs, horses, dogs, sheep...

- Whatever ! The more the better !
- What about parrots ?

If the parrot speaks Ukrainian,
then, yes.

It's Jamie Tkachuk, man !
He is one of us !

The most important thing for him

is for the animals to speak the language
of his historic motherland.

Pigs, horses, sheep...
What kind of game is it ?

Noah's Arc.

- Noah's Arc ?
- Yeah, check it out.

They have sent us some demos.

Very contemporary !
The music is so deep.

Is it trap or cloud ?

They call it Christian trap,

bible stories told through
contemporary music.

Listen here...

It's just a regular retrowave.

Take it. They've sent
a reference soundtrack.

I told Jaimie that your family
is from Transcarpathia.

- It's true, right ?
- Right.

- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.

Well, he freaked out ! Because
right there in the mountains

lives Anas trepidus.

- Who ?
- The Fussy Mallard.

It's a very rare bird, apparently.

Species: The Fussy Mallard.

Latin: Anas trepidus.

Or it is often called
by the place of origin:

The Rakhiv Mallard.

Latin: Anas rakhivus.

According to its official status,
it is on the verge of extinction.

He promises to pay you an extra thousand
bucks, if you record this mallard sing.

- Canadian dollars ?
- No, in real money, in US dollars.

But thousand bucks is nothing !
If you can do it,

Jamie will offer you a place
in his head office in Canada

to create sound design for the game.
Official visa and all...

Maybe you can get a full-time job
with him afterwards.

This is not writing music
or making films...

But that's where the money
is right now.

In video games.

Are you kidding ?
This is my new dream !

- Can I hug you ?
- Later, please.

The destiny of the Rakhiv Mallard
was one of the topics discussed

during the famous XIII World Congress
on ornithology,

which took place in August, 1966,
at October Palace in Kyiv.

One of the reports proved

that over the past three centuries

the number of Rakhiv Mallard

has been dramatically decreased.

The reason is

the mallard's trademark,
rare violet feather,

which was the object of desire

for fashionistas from Mukachevo
and the whole of Eastern Europe.

There is a theory, that due
to the constant death threat

Rakhiv Mallard received its second
name, the Fussy Mallard.

Today Fussy Mallard's only habitat

is a small mountain lake

nearby the Tykhyi Shelest village of
the Rakhiv region, Transcarpathia.

It's interesting to note

that the lake is placed exactly
between Romania and Ukraine

and so the bird can cross the border
up to hundred times a day

depending on its anxiety level.

In the beginning of the XX century,

this lake was visited by a delegation
of ornithologists from Dresden,

headed by Otto Konig.

However, the goal of their research was
not the appearance, nor the name.

They studied birds' voices.

It is known, that most ducks
sound alike.

They quack. Quack-quack.

This makes the Rakhiv Mallard special.

Once a year, he sings for real.

It is his song.
When calling the birds to flock,

the Rakhiv Mallard sings
in such a piercing manner,

that it breaks hearts
not only of average people,

but even of German scientists.

The "Sound of Rakhiv Mallard Song",
as well as the "Petrykivka Painting"

and the "Cossack Songs
of the Dnipro Region"

have been added to the UNESCO
intangible heritage lists.

Below you can see
its musical notation.

Musical notation
of Rakhiv Mallard song

Tea, coffee ?

- Tiramisu ?
- No, thank you.

See, Vasia ? They didn't want
to listen to you run around,

now they will listen
to you scream.

Keep quiet, sweatheart, please.

Shut up for God sake !

Come on, don't lag behind...

Hurry up, klutz, dammit...

The fine town of Uzhgorod welcomes
you ! The heart of Transcarpathia.

- Where to ?
- To Shakhta district.

Sit down comfortably and get ready
for an unforgettable journey

through the town of cherry blossom.

How's the weather in Kyiv ?

Same as here. Maybe bit warmer.

- Is anyone protesting ?
- No...

It's cool in Kyiv...

- Do you mind if I smoke ?
- I do mind.

You said you gave up
working in taxi ?

I did.

- Then I got sad.
- Where is grandpa ?

He was supposed
to pick me up, not you.

Volodya can't do it.

- Why ?
- The doctors forbade him to drive.

I can drive you, though.
I took a few days off.

Aren't you happy ?

- Very happy.
- For sure ?

Do the shoes fit ?

What do you think ?

- Mom, which size is that ?
- 48 EU.

So they're small.

Are they small or you simply
don't like the brand ?

The brand I don't like either.

Heard this saying: "Doesn't matter
which shoes you wear,"

"if you wear them in Paris" ?

I think it doesn't matter
which city you're in,

if you wear The North Face.

I told you not to buy clothes
at thrift stores.

By putting on someone
else's clothing...

I'm not buying clothes
at thrift stores, mom !

- They stink !
- It's called "an outlet" in Kyiv !

- Or Euro-stock !
- Euro-stock ! Hold the wheel...

Do you smoke ?

No.

Sorry. Welcome, son.

This is our ritual. So that the child
would feel fathers energy.

- I love you my, kiflich.
- And I love you too.

And you I love.

- And you, aunt Galia, I love too.
- And we love you, right, Vadik ?

Yeah, sure. Amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.

So, what are we waiting for ?
Help yourself !

Try parmesan and tomatoes with pesto.

By the way, Bernardo sent
his greetings to all of you from Italy.

- Send him our greetings too !
- Thanks, I will.

You can use your hands.

How about salami,
did Bernardo send it over ?

Maybe, he did. But it's not allowed.
Today we're fasting.

So is parmesan allowed ?

To eat parmesan or not to eat,
everyone chooses for himself.

Vadik, if you don't want parmesan,
take mushrooms, they're good.

Are they okay ?
Have you tried them ?

I never try anything myself.

I give it to Volodya in the morning
and if he's fine, I eat it.

- Why is it green ?
- I added olive oil.

Olive oil, olive oil...

Volodya, don't get angry.
It's not allowed today.

It's forbidden to swear today.

According to which laws
is it forbidden ?

According to the church calendar.
Am I right, Pavlik ? Today...

Today, the Archangel Gabriel
came to Mary to tell her,

that she would become
a mother of Jesus.

That's right, auntie.
Look, Vadim.

There is a holiday called
the Annunciation.

During the Annunciation it is strictly
forbidden to dig up potatoes,

to cut the lawn,

to sweep the dust,

also you cannot use bad words...

Volodya, it concerns you too.

- Cannot swear.
- Are haircuts allowed ?

- Is it allowed ?
- Preferably not.

Have you cut your hair, aunt Galia ?

No, I wanted to do it later today.

God saved you !

God saved you, hear that ?

May I say it ? He is offered
a place in Canada.

Who ? Him ?

Yes. He was the only one
chosen from Kyiv.

Yes. I'm going there soon.

To Canada ?

You can take my room, if you want.

Do you imagine ?
The only one from Kyiv.

Amazing !

For how long ?

Well, I haven't considered
coming back yet.

- So cool...
- Cool.

The only one from Kyiv,
can you imagine ?

He has a very complicated job...

And what does he do ?

He...Well, he listens to sounds,

then he records them.

- He listens, then records...
- And they pay money for this ?

Yes !

He's... What's the name
of your job again ?

Lake Chendesh. Rakhiv district.

Lake Chendesh

Save picture as...

Mom. Mom, wake up.

I'm not sleeping.

See here ? Look !

Look !

I'm even a bit scared !

I brought you this from Vatican.

For your protection.

What is it ?

It is "Our Father" in Latin...

From "Padre Nostro"
till "Deliver Us From Evil".

Victoria Beckham has the same ring.
I read it in a magazine.

Well, if Victoria Beckham
has such a ring...

Victoria Beckham is a stylish successful
woman, a role model wife and mother.

A role model ?

She named her son after the
neighborhood where he was conceived.

Brooklyn ? Sounds great.

Aren't there nice neighborhood
names in Kyiv ?

In which one do you live ?

Syrets.

- But I used to live at DVRZ.
- Vadik...

Would you go
to a thermal spa with me ?

Mom,

find yourself a husband
and take him to spa.

I don't have any problems
with men, don't worry.

It's a gift from Bernardo,
so don't talk nonsense.

Forget about Bernardo,
he's thirty years old.

You need a real option.

Me and Bernardo have a lot of fun.

Like in a fairy tale !
We walk for hours,

we go to cafes, meet sunrises.

You can meet sunrises
with whoever you want,

but you need to know whom
you'll be meeting your old age with.

Let's stop talking about men.

I want to spend time with you. You
are the most important man for me.

Mom,

try to understand me

I cannot come to the spa with you.

It's an outsource job.
You can't mess with it.

If I manage to record that bird,

I'll get a chance I've been waiting
for my whole life.

You wanna go to Canada so badly ?

Yes. It's my new dream.

How are we gonna be here
without you ?

Grandpa won't be able to take it.

Well, you're without me either way.

You in Kyiv and you in Canada
are two very different things.

At least, when you live
in Kyiv, you visit us,

but from Canada, as far as I know,
nobody returns.

So... Let's go ?

Damn, mom, I forgot my Speedos.

Use your underwear, if you forgot it.

I'd better stay in the car
and listen to music.

You go.

Fine, we'll buy you Speedos inside.
We're having fun today.

I'll never buy Speedos there.

It's three times more expensive.

You're a cheapskate,
just like your father

I'm not a cheapskate.

Saving is a kind of sport for me.

He said the same.

Do you realize how difficult it is
for me to earn this money ?

How many fucking old men and shitty
music I have to listen to ?

Wait.

Come here, I'll slap you
for the word "fucking".

Fine. I apologize.

Are there gonna be any girls ?

There gonna be mostly girls.

Let's say, your duck-call broke down.

In this case, in order not
to strain vocal cords

experienced hunters use
the ring-and-lid technique.

Using this kind
of mechanical rubbing...

We get a good solid single quack.

Do you know how to find out
how the other person sees you ?

I don't know.

Just ask that person
to take a picture of you.

Do you really see me like that ?

Look at my picture of you,

and compare it to your picture of me.

What are you doing ?

- Is it Bernardo ?
- Give it to me.

- He reminds me of someone.
- Give it back.

He's handsome, right ?

- Don't you see...
- Galia...

You better wake me up
in the morning.

At what time ?

- At 5 AM.
- Why so early ?

I arranged for an interview.

Good morning !

Are you without your mom ?

She went to get some gas.
She'll pick me up later.

What's the name of your parrot ?

Tolik.

- Tolik...
- Named him after my ex-husband.

- Is he talkative ?
- Husband ?

He used to be.

Forgive me, Vira Ivanina.

I didn't know

that he....

Why didn't you tell, that he is not...

He doesn't seem to care.
He shows that he's tired.

Pity. Could you provoke it
somehow ?

- Pity...
- Sorry, what ?

Nothing.

Can I talk to you for a sec ?

Where ?

Corridor.

What for ?

Vadim, don't laugh please.
Tolik is very jealous.

My old friend visited me
the other day.

I had him clean the filters
of my washing machine.

Accidently we started
watching film. Together.

Film ? Which film ?

"Love Is Not Potatoes".

So, imagine, we were
watching that film

and Viktor Ivanovych has fallen
asleep on my shoulder.

And Tolik started to make noise
straight away ! He got worried.

Maybe, we can provoke him
in that way ?

Shall I fall asleep on your shoulder ?

It's quiet.

Yeah, I can hear that.

Your hair is so long...

Perhaps, he thinks you're a woman
and that's why he's not jealous.

Wait.

- What is it ?
- This is my ex's hat.

Put it on and hide your hair.

He's not looking at us.

Vadik.

- Come with me.
- Where ?

I forgot to say,

when Viktor Ivanovych fell asleep
he put his hand on my breast.

Maybe that's what made Tolia react ?

Sometimes I think the soul
of my ex-husband stayed in him.

In whom ?

In Viktor Ivanovych ? In the plumber ?

In Tolia ! The parrot.

Are you serious ?

Shall I flirt with you ?

If you can...

- Try the hand ?
- Okay, give it to me...

Quiet, quiet...

I'm sorry, can I ?

Yes, please.

- Excuse me...
- Go on...

Let's do it.

Like that.

My God, Help Me
to Survive This Deadly Love

It stinks...

Still, I don't understand...

How do the voices of cows in Ukraine
differ from voices of cows in Canada ?

I mean, why can't they record these
sounds in Canada ?

Jamie's creating the game.
He is the director.

He is saying that animals
should sound disturbed.

But to him,
Canadian animals sound calm.

Fed and satisfied,
they're boring, man !

They're not afraid of anything.

- Even death ?
- Exactly.

In contrast with our
Ukrainian animals.

Our animals sense the approach
of the Great Flood.

Flood. Do you know
what I am saying ?

Chamomile, speak !

Hands off !

- Are you smoking ?
- No.

- Show your hand !
- What ?

What ?

Vadik, we need to have
a serious conversation.

You should know that I have
recently been robbed.

You know who did it ?

Two bullies from Radvanka. Took
800 hryvnas from me, imagine !

Good they did not hit me.

They said: "You're lucky
you're an old lady".

I was so insulted.

Not because of money.
Although that's also a pity.

But about being called a granny.

And I even don't have grandchildren...

And watching you, I am doubting
if I will ever have them...

Vadik ! Is everything fine with you
in the male department ?

- Everything's fine.
- When did you have sex last ?

You're making me uncomfortable.
It's none of your business !

It's my business ! Stop that !

It's family business ! Stop that !
Your sex is my business too.

What do you do, exactly ?

- What do I do ?
- Yes.

- You're asking me what do I do ?
- Yes.

I'm one of a few people
in this country,

who successfully does export.

- That's what you can say to people.
- What export are you talking about ?

I export to the Western countries
the sounds of Ukrainian animals !

Some things are more important
to me than kids and grandkids.

For example ?

For example this.

It's called creativity.
Have you heard of it ?

You're so lost... There is nothing
more important than kids.

No music is worth
the sacrifice of a family.

That's your opinion.

- You're a fool, Vadim.
- I'm not a fool, I'm a musician.

I mix trap.

Sorry, I don't like this word,
but I am a creator.

Vadik, when will you start
living a normal life ?

Sorry, what did you say ?

I ask... When will you start
living a normal life ?

What is normal life ?

Maybe you can show it to me ?

If only I knew myself...

So show me this normal life...

I'll watch you do it
and will start living it myself.

I can only show you
what an abnormal life is.

Look at me, and do the opposite.

TWIN PEAKS

WI-FI, SHOWER, COFFEE

Good evening.

We need a room for two.

What's your surname ?

Rott.

Galyna and Vadim Rott.

Mr. and Mrs. Rott,
we have to disappoint you

we only have rooms
with separate beds.

It works for us.
We're mother and son.

We don't necessarily
have to sleep together.

Mom, are you okay ?

Mom ?

I thought you'd never ask...

I feel a strong spasm
in my chest area.

I think it's a heart attack...

Where does it hurt ?

Somewhere here...

Did my lips turn blue ?

They're fine.
Maybe a little blue.

- And nails ?
- What about them ?

- Are they blue ?
- They're red.

Red ?

It can't be seen
under the nail polish.

Vadik...

I need serious medical help.

Let me give you drotaverine ?

Better drive me to the hospital.
Before it's not too late...

- I want to live.
- I don't know how to drive.

You'll rather die from fear...

Go behind the wheel.

What for ?

If I feel bad again,
you'll need to know how to drive.

- Ready ?
- Yes.

Push the clutch.

- Done.
- Start the engine.

First gear.

Vadik, it's third gear.
I said first.

Now step on the gas,
and let out the clutch gently.

Vadim, I don't wanna hear a thing.

It's a perfect place for a stop.

Take a picture of me here.

Such a beauty around.

What's wrong ?

I'm not the one to do it.

When else would I be
taking pictures ?

When I was young,
the cameras were shit.

Now the cameras are good,

but I'm getting old.

It would be late for pictures soon.

Grab your girlfriends and take
pictures with them. Simple.

Vadik, remember,
female friendship does not exist.

I don't have any girlfriends.

So whom do you have ?

You.

I have you.

You are my everything.

You don't have me.

I'm not your property.

You act like a crazy drama queen.
You have no one.

I'm scared for you.
You're up for a lonely old age.

I thought I had you.

Now I don't think so.

Now I have no one, for real.

Mom, I'm sorry...

I didn't mean it.

- Let me take that picture.
- There's no need.

Don't photograph me, Vadik,
don't do it, I don't want it.

Let's go record your animals.

If I am crazy drama queen,
I'll be acting as one.

I'll sign over the car and the house
to Pavlik and Lerochka.

Farewell ! Go to your Canada
and forget about me.

Give me back my wed ring.
Take it off.

- You tried to say "wedding ring" ?
- Take off the ring.

Take it.

I don't want anything
to remind you of your mother.

Take it.

Raise your hand !

Hands ! Hands off me !

Mom, what are you doing ?

Leave me alone.

I want to die beautifully.

Let some luxury car run me over.

This will be my favor to you.

I won't be disturbing
your conscience.

Go to your Canada
or wherever you want to...

- Mom, stand up, there is a car coming.
- I don't want to.

It's not a luxury one.

What is it then ?

Looks like a Škoda.
Not the newest one.

Let it be Škoda.

That's my destiny then.

Mom, Škoda is approaching,
stand up.

Excuse me.

No one needs me !

No one gives a fuck about me.

I'm gonna be alone. All alone.

No one needs me !

- What are you doing ?
- Leave me alone !

You broke the gearbox !

- Why the hell didn't you fix it ?
- I don't have enough money for it !

Where's the money then ?

I lent it to Bernardo.

- Where is Bernardo ?
- Nowhere.

He never came to meet me.

Never came to meet me...

I spent the whole week
alone in Italy.

No one needed me there.

No one needs me...

Reverse is the only gear that works.

I don't know what to do.

There're only thirty kilometers
left to Rakhiv.

We can pop into car service there.

RAKHIV

Could you help me get there ?

No problem.

And the day after we meet
at the same spot.

Vadim, maybe you're right.

I need to be looking
for a more serious option.

There is one man who wrote
to me again. I can't get rid of him...

Let me see.

I can't say he is very handsome,

but he looks serious.

He's inviting me to come.

Where ?

To Genk.

Genk ?

- Where is it ?
- In Belgium.

What's his name, again ?

- Enzo.
- Enzo...

Here you go.

You say I'm a bad mother.

But you're not too good
of a son either.

You never ask me about my health.

Sometimes I do.

Right, when I am nearly dying...

You're probably not aware
of my illness ?

What's up with you ?

According to the doctors
I have chronic pancreatitis.

Everything hurts,
I've been dieting for months,

can't sleep, can't eat.

Nothing greasy. No salt.

I don't even drink coffee.
What kind of life is it ?

And when you drive me
crazy like today,

it only gets worse.

Sometimes I just want to...

To eat a pea soup

and come what may.

Remember you asked me once,

if there was a question
the answer to which

I'd like to know more
than anything else ?

I remembered.

As a child, I loved playing
next to cows.

They ate grass and observed
the world around,

without intruding,

they simply watched.

And I loved watching them.

And have never seen them look up.

If a plane was flying by, for example,

or thunder rumbled.

It's as if they didn't care.

Everything happening
somewhere above.

I always wonder...

Could a cow ever look up ?

Mom, wait.

Don't ever eat the pea soup, please.

And, if someday you'll really want to,

just Skype me, okay ?

I'll talk you out of it.

No, thank you.

I have a personal one.

It's with an olive oil extract.

Don't...

Keep it. Keep it for yourself.

Keep this stuff for a while, yo.

These are the rules, yo.

Okay, fine. And what is it ?

Don't you worry, it will be fine,
not to worry. Really.

- Glory to Jesus Christ, blokes.
- 'Sup, Yonchi.

How's your ginger kitty ?
Dropped the sprog ?

Six. Four of them we gave away,
the remaining two we drowned.

- Enough cats already.
- Bless them !

Bless them.

Listen, why are you snooping around
back and forth on my territory ?

We're heading to the Marmarosky
highland to pick up some herbs.

- Herbs ?
- Aye.

Look at them !

Who is that blondie next to you ?
Hey, man, have we met each other ?

- We could have met.
- Where ?

- If you've been to Uzhgorod...
- No, I know nothing about that..

He seems very suspicious.
Yo, look me in the eyes, man.

This bloke came from Kyiv.

Listen, why do you need that stick,
if you're off to pick up herbs ?

It's not a stick. Meaning...

It's more of a boom
rather than a stick.

A boom ?
What's that mumble about ?

He says this stick
is for sound recording or whatever.

He needs to record some sound.
I don't get it, really.

Could you please explain
properly what that is ?

Well, this is called "a dead cat",
underneath is a "Zeppelin".

- And it's attached to...
- Yo, little brat, get out of the car.

Immediately get out of the car,
or I will turn you into dust !

- This is not weapon...
- I'll show you weapon !

Get out of the car, schmuck.

What is he saying ?

Hands !

- Wait... Who gave you the right...
- Cake hole !

What's that ?

- You can have a look.
- Let your mother look there.

What's that ?

- Can I ?
- Try it.

This is a lip balm.

What kind of a lip balm ?

- With an olive oil extract.
- Show it.

- How do you like it ?
- You can try.

- You serious ?
- Yonchi, that's a very good lip balm.

- You should buy one for your wife.
- What are you saying ?

I'm saying that's a very good lip balm.
You should buy one for your wife.

My mother used one of those
and her face got swollen.

One shouldn't use too much of it.
Just a bit.

My mother is a maximalist,
as you know.

Listen, Mihaj, get the infos
from everyone.

IDs, registrations, note it all down.

As for that tall blondie,
get his tax number as well.

He's very suspicious, understand ?

Dude, you're aware that you're not
allowed to pick up the wild orchids.

- Yonchi...
- Quiet. It's forbidden.

I will check each one of you personally,
upon your exit from the area.

Especially that tall hose.
He's very suspicious.

- Fine ?
- Thanks, man. I owe you.

You own me.

Conservation area
Lake Chendesh

Help !

Let's start.
How do you call yourself ?

- Excuse me ?
- Name, surname ?

Vadim Rott.

Rott, as in "mouth" ?

As in "mouth" but with a double "t".

- Do you work or study ?
- I work.

Where ?

Freelance.

That's not an option.
What exactly do you do ?

I work in export.

- Are you a businessman ?
- Well...

I export to the Western countries

the sounds of our animals.

Misha, dear, please make us some tea.
I imagine this will take long.

Let's do it this way,
while he's making tea,

you skip your jokes and explain to me,
what you've been spying up there.

- I haven't been spying anything.
- So what have you been doing there ?

- Let me say it, as it is.
- Of course ! We're a family here.

I was trying to record
the voice of the Rakhiv mallard,

- Mykhailo Ivanovych.
- Listen, skip the familiarity.

Vasia calls me Mykhailo Ivanovych,
but for you I'm Comrade Major.

Where did you try to record the voice
of the so-called mallard ?

Forgive me, Comrade Major,
Mykhailo Ivanovych...

I tried to do it at Lake Chendesh.

The lake has dried up.

There's nothing but a swamp. The same
swamp you've got all over you.

Show me what you've recorded
at the border,

I'm not joking with you anymore.

See, there's nothing, it's empty.

Better confess or I'll ask Vasia
to check you.

- I'm honest with you.
- Vasia !

I've got no time for this.

Get your ass up. Stand up !

I am still at work. Will be late.

Put a sale sticker on the jar.

- Show me what's in your mouth.
- There's nothing.

Open it.

No, you have no right to.

My mouth is my private property,
you cannot just get inside of it.

By the way, you have
to introduce yourself.

I need to see your documents.

Mykhailo Ivanovych.
I found a 32 GB memory card.

But I've never seen such a format...

Excuse me...

Are you ready, guys ?

Let's see what he's got.

Play it from the start.

Next.

Okay, next.

That's what I thought.

I see, all clear.

Let's see what he has in his camera.

- How do you turn it on ?
- There's a button on top.

This button ?

Here you have it.

Where did you take this ?

Show me.

This is nearby Mukachevo.

I don't remember anything like it.

Does your tooth ache ?

Open your mouth.

Clutch it.

Hold it and listen !

Either we delete all your files,
sounds, videos,

forget about this misunderstanding
and tomorrow you leave for Kyiv,

or we let the espionage
case go forward

and send the files
off for examination.

Vadim, be honest with me,

do you like honey ?

Depending which kind of honey.

Linden.

No. I'm allergic to it.

Hello, son ! Merry Christmas
to you from me and Enzo.

We send you warm wishes from
the heart of the Flemish region,

the fine town of Genk.

Genk is not the Europe you imagine.

It's somewhere in between
Debrecen and Donetsk.

And to be honest, it's not exactly
the heart of the Flemish region.

It's more like the right kidney.

Rain, factories and chocolate fondue.

In short, it's not Italy...

Sorry I don't call you often, there are
a lot of problems I have to deal with.

Enzo has a big family,
we spent a month choosing gifts.

It's good we haven't
forgotten about you.

We chose the present together.

Enzo wanted to get you a new mic
or a trip somewhere.

But I managed to persuade him
to get you a down jacket !

Everyone wears them here !

It's not only très à la mode, but also
a protection for your pelvic area.

You know what I mean.

Our grandpa is soon to visit us,

Enzo promised to pay
for his medical treatment.

I urge you, please,
light a candle for him,

if you'll be visiting the church
before Christmas.

Ask for his surgery to go well.

Place the candle wherever
your heart tells you,

but better somewhere
nearby St. Nicholas.

By the way, remember,
I told you a story about cows ?

I wondered if they could look up ?

This Sunday me and Enzo
are visiting a farm,

he ensures me that
the Belgian cows can do it !

Renew your cancelled passport
and come visit us.

Everyone will be happy to meet you !

Enjoy your new down jacket.
It's very expensive.

Very much. Love you.

Mom.