My Smurfy Valentine (1982) - full transcript

[theme music]

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

screech screech screech

[birds chirping]

[instrumental music]

So, what do you say, Laconia.?
Will you marry me?

[chirping continues]

Yes? Yippee!

We'll get Papa Smurf
to marry us right away.

Why, I'd be delighted to preside
at your wedding, Woody.

Thank you, Papa Smurf.



(Smurfette)
'You want me
to be your maid of honor?'

Oh, I'd be honored.

It'll be the smurfiest
wedding of the year.

No, no, of the decade.

No, no, of the century.

I hate weddings!

But Laconia and I
want a simple wedding.

Oh, Woody, you and Laconia
deserve the best.

Yes, and everyone knows
the key to a happy marriage

is an overwhelming,
mind-boggling wedding.

gulp

(Smurfette)
'Now, don't you worry.'

[chuckles]
Just leave everything to me.

[instrumental music]



Tailor, sew the gowns
and suits.

'Greedy, bake the biggest
cake you ever baked.'

'Vanity, make sure
Greedy doesn't eat the cake.'

Oh, this is so exciting.

I almost feel like
I'm getting married.

scribble scribble

Smurfette, the wedding
invitations are ready.

Oh, good work, Brainy.

thud

Oh, gosh, Smurfette,
uh, what can I do?

Well, Clumsy,
you can deliver the invitations.

Oh, got it, goody.

Smurf away, Handy.

He-he-he.

Smurfing away.

[rope creaking]

snap

Now, everyone we know
will be invited

to the wedding of the century

at noon tomorrow,
in Bluebell Dell.

[frogs croaking]

[bird screeching]

[gasps]

Yoo-hoo! Pussywillow Pixies.

Yoo-hoo! Pussywillow Pixies.

Yoo-hoo! Pussywillow Pixies!

- Shh. Listen.
- 'Yoo-hoo! Pussywillow Pixies.'

Why, that sounds
like Clumsy Smurf.

(Clumsy)
'Whoa!'

Yes, I believe it is.

Hah, hiya, pixies.

G-g-gosh, brr,
water sure is wet.

splash

What're you doing here, Clumsy?

Uh, Laconia's getting married.

[all exclaiming]

Oh, I just love weddings.

They're such a good excuse
to get dressed up.

Smurfette's inviting everybody.

Uh, but they won't know
they're invited

unless I get these delivered.

We can help you there, Clumsy.

Pixies!

Gosh!

[chuckles]
Airmail.

'Wow, there's going
to be a wedding.'

♪ Going to be a wedding ♪

♪ Going to be a wedding ♪

♪ Going to be a wedding ♪

plop

Bah!

I'm no better at catching fish

than you are at catching Smurfs.

[meows]

Oh, I'd give anything
for a tasty little Smurf

pan-fried over an open fire.

[meows]

Oh, Azrael, I've got something.

'Hmm, what have we here?'

It's a letter of some sort

addressed to mother nature.

Well, well, well.

It seems those disgusting Smurfs
are giving a wedding.

meow meow

In Bluebell Dell
at noon tomorrow.

At last, I'll have them all

in the same place,
at the same time.

meow

Oh, it'll be
a wonderful wedding, Azrael.

Because I'll be the one
to live happily ever after.

[evil laugh]

splash

[mumbling]

Oh, Laconia, I'm so glad

we finally have
some time alone.

(Smurfette)
Yoo-hoo, Laconia!

Uh, could you come my house?

I, I have something smurfy
to show you.

Well, I wanted some time alone.

[sighs]
Now I've got it.

- Surprise!
- Surprise!

It's a wedding shower,
honey-lamb.

In your honor, my dear.

Laconia says thank you.
She really is surprised.

- Ooh!
- Ooh!

(Smurfette)
'Laconia says it's beautiful.'

[giggling]

I wonder if I'll
get married someday.

I'm sure you will, dear.

When you're as mature as I am.

[giggling]

Laconia says it's very important

to find the right wood-elf.

Or the right pixie.

I wonder if I'll ever meet
the right Smurf.

And if I do, how will I know
he's Mr. Right?

[humming]

Oh, Greedy.

This cake
isn't nearly big enough

for the wedding of the century.

It was a lot bigger, Smurfette

but I accidentally
ate a few layers.

I'm sorry, Smurfette.

I took one glance
at my incredible good looks

and, whamo, it was all over.

Don't worry, Smurfette.

I'll bake you
another wedding cake

faster than you can say, "I do."

[humming]

[laughs]
Greedy is just as sweet

as his sweets. Hmm..

I wonder..

Oh, Greedy!

Oh, Smurfette!

[instrumental music]

At last, at last!

At last! At last!

- Lunch!
- Huh?

chomp chomp chomp

Say, honey, did you save
any of that rice

they threw at the wedding?

It sure would taste
smurfy in a stew.

Greedy Smurf,
this is our honeymoon.

Oh, don't get mad, Smurfette.

It's bad for your digestion.

[gulping]

At least stop eating long enough

to give your new bride a kiss.

Why, certainly, Smurfette.

crunch

Kiss me, my little dumpling.

Oh, yuck.

I'm afraid life with Greedy
would be too fattening.

Oh, Smurfette,
you're doing an absolutely

smurfy job on this wedding.

It's going to be as beautiful
as a certain Smurf I know.

Oh, thank you, Vanity.

Hmm, I wonder..

[instrumental music]

(Vanity)
'Oh, you're the most
breathtaking creature'

'I've ever seen.'

'I simply can't take
my eyes off you.'

Oh, Vanity, I'm not that smurfy.

Who's talking about you?

I'm talking about me.

Oh, dear, I don't think
I can marry Vanity either.

[sighs]
He's in love
with somebody else.

[instrumental music]

(Gargamel)
'Oh, Azrael'

'what wedding would be complete
without music, eh?'

- Music?
- Magical music, Azrael.

Music that will make the Smurfs
dance to their doom.

[evil laughter]

'Now where's my mallet? Aah!'

thud

My magical music machine must be
finished by midnight tonight.

[mumbling]

'That's when I cast my spell'

and put the ghouls
in my magical Ghoulliope.

[evil laughter]

thud

Yeow!

Hup two, hup two, hup two..

Oh, Hefty, could you hide
the wedding cake

where Greedy won't find it?

Uh, sure thing, Smurfette.

I'd do anything for you.

Hup two, hup two, hup two..

Oh, Hefty is so big and strong.

Hmm, I wonder..

[instrumental music]

Oh, Hefty, you're so romantic.

Are you running all the way home
to be alone with me?

Nope, I'm running home
'cause it's good exercise.

thud

This is your new home, honey.

'How do you like it?'

Well, actually, Hefty,
it's not very, uh, warm.

Oh, don't worry,
my little tricep.

Once you work up a good sweat

you'll be as warm
as an old sweat sock.

[chuckles]

The more we exercise,
the longer we live.

And the longer we live,
the more we can exercise.

Yippee!

Here, my little hockey puck,
lift this one.

[grunts]

(both)
Hup two, hup two, hup two..

Hup two, hup two.

Here, my little
medicine ball, catch!

(Smurfette)
'No, Hefty, no!'

'Aah!'

[groaning]

I don't think I have
the strength to marry Hefty.

[instrumental music]

[owl hooting]

[Smurfette yawning]

'Oh, my, I better get to sleep.'

I've such a big day tomorrow.

I wish I could decide
which Smurf

would be right for me.

He'd have to be down to earth

like, like Farmer.

[rooster crowing]

Rise and shine,
my little potato bud.

Time to dig in the dirt.

[crowing]

Oh, but Farmer..

[yawns]
Can't I sleep in just once?

Sorry, my little pumpkin seed.

You're a farmer's wife now.

[crowing]

Oh, dear, maybe down
to earth isn't quite right.

Practical is more like it.

[yawns]

Like Handy.

knock knock knock knock

Sorry to wake you,
my little sawhorse.

knock knock knock

Handy, what are you doing?

Fixing leaks in the roof.

But there aren't any leaks
in the roof.

No sense waiting
till there are, dear.

Oh, dear, Handy isn't
Mr. Right either.

Maybe I need husband
who is lots of fun.

Like Jokey!

Oh, it's so much fun
to come home to Jokey

after a hard day's smurf.

Argh!

Aah!

[laughs]
Surprise!

Very funny, Jokey.

You think that's funny,
what about this?

splash

[laughing]

And this?

[laughing]

Marriage to Jokey
would be no laughing matter.

[yawns]
Oh, well..

...maybe I'll meet Mr. Right
at the wedding.

[intense music]

(Gargamel)
'Behold!'

The instrument
of Smurf destruction.

[evil laughter]

Is it magnificent, Azrael?

Now, a little rehearsal.

Meow?

Oh, musical spirits
from out of the past.

[organ music]

'Come forth with magic
as this spell is cast.'

Give me the power
of your magic tune.

[music continues]

That makes all who hear it
dance to their doom!

[music continues]

[evil laughter]

'It's working!'

'My magical Ghoulliope
is working!'

[laughter continues]

Mummy said those music lessons
would come in handy someday.

[evil laughter]

'And now, Azrael,
under cover of darkness'

I'll take
my magical music machine

to Bluebell Dell.

[cackling]

And those stupid Smurfs
won't even know I'm there.

By the time
the wedding guest arrive..

...I'll be ready.

crank

[rumbling]

Eeh! Get off!
Get off, you stupid cat!

[Azrael meowing]

(Gargamel)
'I can't see where I'm going!'

'No! Stop.'

'Get off, I say, you fool.
I can't see.'

[instrumental music]

[screaming continues]

crash

[instrumental music]

Oh, Tailor, that suit
isn't nearly fancy enough

for the wedding of the century.

You've gotta have frills
and bows and fancy buttons.

Alright, alright, Smurfette,
I'll see what I can do.

(Smurfette)
'Handy!'

'Is the smurfamatic
rice thrower ready?'

Ready for action, Smurfette.

[instrumental music]

whack

Mighty early for hail.

Now let's see,
"Red carpet," check

"Hot air balloons," check.

Gee, Smurfette.

You are working pretty hard.

[yawns]

If you'd like to take a nap
before the wedding

you can borrow my..

snore

...uh, pillow.

[humming "The Wedding March"]

Ooh, these flowers will make
a smurfy bouquet for Laconia.

Oh, she's so lucky
she found her Mr. Right.

Uh, one, uh, two, uh

two, uh, one, uh..
Aah!

thud

Clumsy, what are you doing?

Oh, uh,
teaching myself to dance.

[laughing]

- In a bush?
- Yeah.

Well, I didn't want
any Smurf to see me.

How am I gonna dance
at the wedding

if I don't know how?

Oh, Clumsy,
I'd be happy to teach you.

You would? Gosh!

Just follow me.

Smurf two, three and

smurf two, three and..

[sighs]
I'm almost afraid to wonder.

[instrumental music]

'Introducing
the dynamic dancing duo'

'Mr. and Mrs. Clumsy Smurf.'

[instrumental music]

- Ouch!
- Oops.

- Sorry, Smurfette.
- Oh, Clumsy.

Love means never having
to say you're sorry

you stepped on my foot. Ouch!

Ouch!

Oh, gosh, Smurfette

I guess you found out
why they call me Clumsy.

Don't worry, darling, ouch!
You're my husband now.

Ouch! And I'd follow you
to the ends of the

Ea-arth!

[screaming]

(Clumsy)
Gosh! I've never fallen
this far before.

[laughing]

Oh, dear, I love Clumsy

but I just don't think
I could stumble

through life with him.

Hm, not bad.

Not bad at all.

Hi, Papa Smurf.

Smurfette,
why the long, blue face?

Oh, Papa Smurf I'm afraid
I'll never find the right Smurf.

- For what?
- To marry. Oh..

Every Smurf has something
wrong with them.

[chuckles]
I know.

But, Papa Smurf,
how can my Mr. Right

have something wrong?

Well, Smurfette,
no smurf is perfect.

You'll know you've met Mr. Right

when the smurfy things about him

make the unsmurfy
things seem smurfy.

Oh. Oh, I understand,
Papa Smurf.

I feel much smurfier now.

- Good.
- Well..

I'd better get dressed
for the wedding. Bye.

Hmm, I wonder..

Nah!

[instrumental music]

(Clumsy)
'Gosh, what's it say, Farmer?'

Uh, it says here

"Mother Nature had to see
to the world migration.

'So, she sends this
magical music machine'

'with her regrets.'

Oh, naturally, when she heard
we were having the wedding

of the century,
she outdid herself.

(Brainy)
'I believe it's time
I had a talk with Woody.'

I'm sure he use
some encouragement from his

ahem, best Smurf.

So, how are you feeling, Woody?

Oh, I feel fine.

Really? I expected you
to be extremely nervous.

After all, this is
the biggest day of your life.

So many things can go wrong.

Maybe you're not
ready for marriage.

Maybe she's not ready.

'Maybe she has some nasty little
habits you don't know about.'

Maybe you have some
nasty little habits

she doesn't know about.

'Maybe you'll be miserable
for the rest of your life.'

Why, I wouldn't blame you
if you just passed out.

Hmm. There's something
strange here.

- I wonder why--
- Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!

The groom just fainted.

Great smurfs!

I guess he just couldn't
take the pressure, Papa Smurf.

Feeling better, Woody?

Uh, no, Papa Smurf.

- I'm really scared.
- Scared?

About all the things
that could go wrong.

Well, there are things
that might go wrong.

But Laconia's
willing to take the chance.

[clears throat]

'Exactlywhydid you
ask her to marry you?'

Well, 'cause she's kind
and easy to talk to and..

- Well, she's my best friend.
- I see.

(Woody)
'She's got
a great sense of humor.'

And a terrific tailor.

And we always have
a wonderful time together.

Gosh, Papa Smurf,
I just plain love her.

Hey, what're we
waiting for? Let's go.

Look on this.
What a clever Papa Smurf.

Ahem, I haven't
the slightest idea

what you mean, Tailor.

[laughing]

[people chattering]

(Smurfette)
'Oh, everything is perfect.'

'Just the way I planned.'

["The Wedding March" playing]

(Gargamel)
'And now, the final step
in my dance of doom!'

[rumbling]

[instrumental music]

[gasps]
Great smurfs.

[howling]

[evil laughter]

[laughter continues]

whirr

clack clack clack

[music continues]

Wha-wha-what happened?

Oh, that music machine
is playing magical music!

Oh, dear, oh, dear,
we've gotta stop it.

(Gargamel)
'Dance,
you rotten little smurfs.'

'Dance the dance of doom.'

[evil laughter]

splat splat splat

splat splat

[stammering]
What's going on?

Azrael, stop them.

[mumbling]
'You...you're ruing my fun!'

Run!

'Run!'

splat

[instrumental music]

splat

Huh? Run, my friends!

[discordant instrumental music]

hiss

[rumbling]

hiss

Oh, no! Oh, no, it's going..

boom

[screaming]

splash splash

Everyone alright?

Oh, oh,
but everything is ruined.

The wedding of the century

is the disaster of the century.

[sobbing]

I wouldn't say that, Smurfette.

All Woody and Laconia
need for their wedding

is each other.

You're right, Papa Smurf.

All my frills
and fancy decorations

'really didn't matter at all.'

I was looking
for the perfect Smurf.

But I'm not so perfect myself.

'Am I, Papa Smurf?'

No, Smurfette, but rember,
when you love someone

the smurfy things about them
make the unsmurfy things

seem smurfy.

Very, very smurfy indeed.

[indistinct chattering]

Well, Laconia and Woody

now you have the simple wedding

you wanted in the first place.

You may begin your vows.

We, Laconia and Woody

promise to take care
of each other.

To share the laughter
and the tears.

To accept each other
the way we are.

To dream together,
to grow together

to love each other forever.

I now pronounce you

wood-elf and wife.

[cheering]
Hurray!

[instrumental music]

Oh, have a marriage
as beautiful as I am.

snort

[crowd cheering]

'Smurfette caught the bouquet.'

Oh, that means she'll be
the next to get married.

[giggling]

Uh-oh.

[giggling]

[music continues]

I still hate weddings.

[music continues]