My Smurfy Valentine (1982) - full transcript

[theme music]

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.

Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

screech screech screech

[birds chirping]

[instrumental music]

So, what do you say, Laconia.?

Will you marry me?

[chirping continues]

Yes? Yippee!

We'll get Papa Smurf

to marry us right away.

Why, I'd be delighted to preside

at your wedding, Woody.

Thank you, Papa Smurf.

(Smurfette)

'You want me

to be your maid of honor?'

Oh, I'd be honored.

It'll be the smurfiest

wedding of the year.

No, no, of the decade.

No, no, of the century.

I hate weddings!

But Laconia and I

want a simple wedding.

Oh, Woody, you and Laconia

deserve the best.

Yes, and everyone knows

the key to a happy marriage

is an overwhelming,

mind-boggling wedding.

gulp

(Smurfette)

'Now, don't you worry.'

[chuckles]

Just leave everything to me.

[instrumental music]

Tailor, sew the gowns

and suits.

'Greedy, bake the biggest

cake you ever baked.'

'Vanity, make sure

Greedy doesn't eat the cake.'

Oh, this is so exciting.

I almost feel like

I'm getting married.

scribble scribble

Smurfette, the wedding

invitations are ready.

Oh, good work, Brainy.

thud

Oh, gosh, Smurfette,

uh, what can I do?

Well, Clumsy,

you can deliver the invitations.

Oh, got it, goody.

Smurf away, Handy.

He-he-he.

Smurfing away.

[rope creaking]

snap

Now, everyone we know

will be invited

to the wedding of the century

at noon tomorrow,

in Bluebell Dell.

[frogs croaking]

[bird screeching]

[gasps]

Yoo-hoo! Pussywillow Pixies.

Yoo-hoo! Pussywillow Pixies.

Yoo-hoo! Pussywillow Pixies!

- Shh. Listen.

- 'Yoo-hoo! Pussywillow Pixies.'

Why, that sounds

like Clumsy Smurf.

(Clumsy)

'Whoa!'

Yes, I believe it is.

Hah, hiya, pixies.

G-g-gosh, brr,

water sure is wet.

splash

What're you doing here, Clumsy?

Uh, Laconia's getting married.

[all exclaiming]

Oh, I just love weddings.

They're such a good excuse

to get dressed up.

Smurfette's inviting everybody.

Uh, but they won't know

they're invited

unless I get these delivered.

We can help you there, Clumsy.

Pixies!

Gosh!

[chuckles]

Airmail.

'Wow, there's going

to be a wedding.'

♪ Going to be a wedding ♪

♪ Going to be a wedding ♪

♪ Going to be a wedding ♪

plop

Bah!

I'm no better at catching fish

than you are at catching Smurfs.

[meows]

Oh, I'd give anything

for a tasty little Smurf

pan-fried over an open fire.

[meows]

Oh, Azrael, I've got something.

'Hmm, what have we here?'

It's a letter of some sort

addressed to mother nature.

Well, well, well.

It seems those disgusting Smurfs

are giving a wedding.

meow meow

In Bluebell Dell

at noon tomorrow.

At last, I'll have them all

in the same place,

at the same time.

meow

Oh, it'll be

a wonderful wedding, Azrael.

Because I'll be the one

to live happily ever after.

[evil laugh]

splash

[mumbling]

Oh, Laconia, I'm so glad

we finally have

some time alone.

(Smurfette)

Yoo-hoo, Laconia!

Uh, could you come my house?

I, I have something smurfy

to show you.

Well, I wanted some time alone.

[sighs]

Now I've got it.

- Surprise!

- Surprise!

It's a wedding shower,

honey-lamb.

In your honor, my dear.

Laconia says thank you.

She really is surprised.

- Ooh!

- Ooh!

(Smurfette)

'Laconia says it's beautiful.'

[giggling]

I wonder if I'll

get married someday.

I'm sure you will, dear.

When you're as mature as I am.

[giggling]

Laconia says it's very important

to find the right wood-elf.

Or the right pixie.

I wonder if I'll ever meet

the right Smurf.

And if I do, how will I know

he's Mr. Right?

[humming]

Oh, Greedy.

This cake

isn't nearly big enough

for the wedding of the century.

It was a lot bigger, Smurfette

but I accidentally

ate a few layers.

I'm sorry, Smurfette.

I took one glance

at my incredible good looks

and, whamo, it was all over.

Don't worry, Smurfette.

I'll bake you

another wedding cake

faster than you can say, "I do."

[humming]

[laughs]

Greedy is just as sweet

as his sweets. Hmm..

I wonder..

Oh, Greedy!

Oh, Smurfette!

[instrumental music]

At last, at last!

At last! At last!

- Lunch!

- Huh?

chomp chomp chomp

Say, honey, did you save

any of that rice

they threw at the wedding?

It sure would taste

smurfy in a stew.

Greedy Smurf,

this is our honeymoon.

Oh, don't get mad, Smurfette.

It's bad for your digestion.

[gulping]

At least stop eating long enough

to give your new bride a kiss.

Why, certainly, Smurfette.

crunch

Kiss me, my little dumpling.

Oh, yuck.

I'm afraid life with Greedy

would be too fattening.

Oh, Smurfette,

you're doing an absolutely

smurfy job on this wedding.

It's going to be as beautiful

as a certain Smurf I know.

Oh, thank you, Vanity.

Hmm, I wonder..

[instrumental music]

(Vanity)

'Oh, you're the most

breathtaking creature'

'I've ever seen.'

'I simply can't take

my eyes off you.'

Oh, Vanity, I'm not that smurfy.

Who's talking about you?

I'm talking about me.

Oh, dear, I don't think

I can marry Vanity either.

[sighs]

He's in love

with somebody else.

[instrumental music]

(Gargamel)

'Oh, Azrael'

'what wedding would be complete

without music, eh?'

- Music?

- Magical music, Azrael.

Music that will make the Smurfs

dance to their doom.

[evil laughter]

'Now where's my mallet? Aah!'

thud

My magical music machine must be

finished by midnight tonight.

[mumbling]

'That's when I cast my spell'

and put the ghouls

in my magical Ghoulliope.

[evil laughter]

thud

Yeow!

Hup two, hup two, hup two..

Oh, Hefty, could you hide

the wedding cake

where Greedy won't find it?

Uh, sure thing, Smurfette.

I'd do anything for you.

Hup two, hup two, hup two..

Oh, Hefty is so big and strong.

Hmm, I wonder..

[instrumental music]

Oh, Hefty, you're so romantic.

Are you running all the way home

to be alone with me?

Nope, I'm running home

'cause it's good exercise.

thud

This is your new home, honey.

'How do you like it?'

Well, actually, Hefty,

it's not very, uh, warm.

Oh, don't worry,

my little tricep.

Once you work up a good sweat

you'll be as warm

as an old sweat sock.

[chuckles]

The more we exercise,

the longer we live.

And the longer we live,

the more we can exercise.

Yippee!

Here, my little hockey puck,

lift this one.

[grunts]

(both)

Hup two, hup two, hup two..

Hup two, hup two.

Here, my little

medicine ball, catch!

(Smurfette)

'No, Hefty, no!'

'Aah!'

[groaning]

I don't think I have

the strength to marry Hefty.

[instrumental music]

[owl hooting]

[Smurfette yawning]

'Oh, my, I better get to sleep.'

I've such a big day tomorrow.

I wish I could decide

which Smurf

would be right for me.

He'd have to be down to earth

like, like Farmer.

[rooster crowing]

Rise and shine,

my little potato bud.

Time to dig in the dirt.

[crowing]

Oh, but Farmer..

[yawns]

Can't I sleep in just once?

Sorry, my little pumpkin seed.

You're a farmer's wife now.

[crowing]

Oh, dear, maybe down

to earth isn't quite right.

Practical is more like it.

[yawns]

Like Handy.

knock knock knock knock

Sorry to wake you,

my little sawhorse.

knock knock knock

Handy, what are you doing?

Fixing leaks in the roof.

But there aren't any leaks

in the roof.

No sense waiting

till there are, dear.

Oh, dear, Handy isn't

Mr. Right either.

Maybe I need husband

who is lots of fun.

Like Jokey!

Oh, it's so much fun

to come home to Jokey

after a hard day's smurf.

Argh!

Aah!

[laughs]

Surprise!

Very funny, Jokey.

You think that's funny,

what about this?

splash

[laughing]

And this?

[laughing]

Marriage to Jokey

would be no laughing matter.

[yawns]

Oh, well..

...maybe I'll meet Mr. Right

at the wedding.

[intense music]

(Gargamel)

'Behold!'

The instrument

of Smurf destruction.

[evil laughter]

Is it magnificent, Azrael?

Now, a little rehearsal.

Meow?

Oh, musical spirits

from out of the past.

[organ music]

'Come forth with magic

as this spell is cast.'

Give me the power

of your magic tune.

[music continues]

That makes all who hear it

dance to their doom!

[music continues]

[evil laughter]

'It's working!'

'My magical Ghoulliope

is working!'

[laughter continues]

Mummy said those music lessons

would come in handy someday.

[evil laughter]

'And now, Azrael,

under cover of darkness'

I'll take

my magical music machine

to Bluebell Dell.

[cackling]

And those stupid Smurfs

won't even know I'm there.

By the time

the wedding guest arrive..

...I'll be ready.

crank

[rumbling]

Eeh! Get off!

Get off, you stupid cat!

[Azrael meowing]

(Gargamel)

'I can't see where I'm going!'

'No! Stop.'

'Get off, I say, you fool.

I can't see.'

[instrumental music]

[screaming continues]

crash

[instrumental music]

Oh, Tailor, that suit

isn't nearly fancy enough

for the wedding of the century.

You've gotta have frills

and bows and fancy buttons.

Alright, alright, Smurfette,

I'll see what I can do.

(Smurfette)

'Handy!'

'Is the smurfamatic

rice thrower ready?'

Ready for action, Smurfette.

[instrumental music]

whack

Mighty early for hail.

Now let's see,

"Red carpet," check

"Hot air balloons," check.

Gee, Smurfette.

You are working pretty hard.

[yawns]

If you'd like to take a nap

before the wedding

you can borrow my..

snore

...uh, pillow.

[humming "The Wedding March"]

Ooh, these flowers will make

a smurfy bouquet for Laconia.

Oh, she's so lucky

she found her Mr. Right.

Uh, one, uh, two, uh

two, uh, one, uh..

Aah!

thud

Clumsy, what are you doing?

Oh, uh,

teaching myself to dance.

[laughing]

- In a bush?

- Yeah.

Well, I didn't want

any Smurf to see me.

How am I gonna dance

at the wedding

if I don't know how?

Oh, Clumsy,

I'd be happy to teach you.

You would? Gosh!

Just follow me.

Smurf two, three and

smurf two, three and..

[sighs]

I'm almost afraid to wonder.

[instrumental music]

'Introducing

the dynamic dancing duo'

'Mr. and Mrs. Clumsy Smurf.'

[instrumental music]

- Ouch!

- Oops.

- Sorry, Smurfette.

- Oh, Clumsy.

Love means never having

to say you're sorry

you stepped on my foot. Ouch!

Ouch!

Oh, gosh, Smurfette

I guess you found out

why they call me Clumsy.

Don't worry, darling, ouch!

You're my husband now.

Ouch! And I'd follow you

to the ends of the

Ea-arth!

[screaming]

(Clumsy)

Gosh! I've never fallen

this far before.

[laughing]

Oh, dear, I love Clumsy

but I just don't think

I could stumble

through life with him.

Hm, not bad.

Not bad at all.

Hi, Papa Smurf.

Smurfette,

why the long, blue face?

Oh, Papa Smurf I'm afraid

I'll never find the right Smurf.

- For what?

- To marry. Oh..

Every Smurf has something

wrong with them.

[chuckles]

I know.

But, Papa Smurf,

how can my Mr. Right

have something wrong?

Well, Smurfette,

no smurf is perfect.

You'll know you've met Mr. Right

when the smurfy things about him

make the unsmurfy

things seem smurfy.

Oh. Oh, I understand,

Papa Smurf.

I feel much smurfier now.

- Good.

- Well..

I'd better get dressed

for the wedding. Bye.

Hmm, I wonder..

Nah!

[instrumental music]

(Clumsy)

'Gosh, what's it say, Farmer?'

Uh, it says here

"Mother Nature had to see

to the world migration.

'So, she sends this

magical music machine'

'with her regrets.'

Oh, naturally, when she heard

we were having the wedding

of the century,

she outdid herself.

(Brainy)

'I believe it's time

I had a talk with Woody.'

I'm sure he use

some encouragement from his

ahem, best Smurf.

So, how are you feeling, Woody?

Oh, I feel fine.

Really? I expected you

to be extremely nervous.

After all, this is

the biggest day of your life.

So many things can go wrong.

Maybe you're not

ready for marriage.

Maybe she's not ready.

'Maybe she has some nasty little

habits you don't know about.'

Maybe you have some

nasty little habits

she doesn't know about.

'Maybe you'll be miserable

for the rest of your life.'

Why, I wouldn't blame you

if you just passed out.

Hmm. There's something

strange here.

- I wonder why--

- Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!

The groom just fainted.

Great smurfs!

I guess he just couldn't

take the pressure, Papa Smurf.

Feeling better, Woody?

Uh, no, Papa Smurf.

- I'm really scared.

- Scared?

About all the things

that could go wrong.

Well, there are things

that might go wrong.

But Laconia's

willing to take the chance.

[clears throat]

'Exactlywhydid you

ask her to marry you?'

Well, 'cause she's kind

and easy to talk to and..

- Well, she's my best friend.

- I see.

(Woody)

'She's got

a great sense of humor.'

And a terrific tailor.

And we always have

a wonderful time together.

Gosh, Papa Smurf,

I just plain love her.

Hey, what're we

waiting for? Let's go.

Look on this.

What a clever Papa Smurf.

Ahem, I haven't

the slightest idea

what you mean, Tailor.

[laughing]

[people chattering]

(Smurfette)

'Oh, everything is perfect.'

'Just the way I planned.'

["The Wedding March" playing]

(Gargamel)

'And now, the final step

in my dance of doom!'

[rumbling]

[instrumental music]

[gasps]

Great smurfs.

[howling]

[evil laughter]

[laughter continues]

whirr

clack clack clack

[music continues]

Wha-wha-what happened?

Oh, that music machine

is playing magical music!

Oh, dear, oh, dear,

we've gotta stop it.

(Gargamel)

'Dance,

you rotten little smurfs.'

'Dance the dance of doom.'

[evil laughter]

splat splat splat

splat splat

[stammering]

What's going on?

Azrael, stop them.

[mumbling]

'You...you're ruing my fun!'

Run!

'Run!'

splat

[instrumental music]

splat

Huh? Run, my friends!

[discordant instrumental music]

hiss

[rumbling]

hiss

Oh, no! Oh, no, it's going..

boom

[screaming]

splash splash

Everyone alright?

Oh, oh,

but everything is ruined.

The wedding of the century

is the disaster of the century.

[sobbing]

I wouldn't say that, Smurfette.

All Woody and Laconia

need for their wedding

is each other.

You're right, Papa Smurf.

All my frills

and fancy decorations

'really didn't matter at all.'

I was looking

for the perfect Smurf.

But I'm not so perfect myself.

'Am I, Papa Smurf?'

No, Smurfette, but rember,

when you love someone

the smurfy things about them

make the unsmurfy things

seem smurfy.

Very, very smurfy indeed.

[indistinct chattering]

Well, Laconia and Woody

now you have the simple wedding

you wanted in the first place.

You may begin your vows.

We, Laconia and Woody

promise to take care

of each other.

To share the laughter

and the tears.

To accept each other

the way we are.

To dream together,

to grow together

to love each other forever.

I now pronounce you

wood-elf and wife.

[cheering]

Hurray!

[instrumental music]

Oh, have a marriage

as beautiful as I am.

snort

[crowd cheering]

'Smurfette caught the bouquet.'

Oh, that means she'll be

the next to get married.

[giggling]

Uh-oh.

[giggling]

[music continues]

I still hate weddings.

[music continues]