My Online Valentine (2019) Movie Script

♪ All around town people

trying to get down ♪

♪ All around town people

trying to get down ♪

♪ All around town people

trying to get down ♪

♪ All around town people

trying to get down ♪

♪ All around town people

trying to get down ♪

♪ All around town people

trying to get down ♪

Man, it's beautiful out here.

Ah!

- What's happening, big homie?

- What the hell

you doing, man?

It's a beautiful day,

man, like you said.

So, I decided to come out here.

Man, you know, check out

some of these reviews

- You know what I'm saying?

- Ah, the dating website.

Right, right, right.

It's been doing its thing,

so I'm just trying

to see what's up.

I see you, though.

What you see?

You fresh out the gym.

You got the wife-beater

on, muscles popping.

I see you, bro.

Trying to get like

you, man, you know.

Trying to look good

in a wife-beater.

You know, this is

ai'ight, right now.

I see, well, first off,

you're not supposed to eat

a big bowl of Cheetos after

you leave the gym, man.

Your Cheetos is

stale, by the way.

Oh wait, hold on,

hold on. Okay, look.

I stumbled across

this dude, man.

He's a social media guy,

like got all these followers.

I heard he left me

comments and reviews

so let's see what he

talking about, man.

Yo, yo, yo, what's up?

This is your boy, Raz, and

I'm here to give you a review

that shit is wack.

It is the worst dating

site you can ever be on.

You see I was supposed

to go on a date

with this girl name Joy, right.

Um, one second.

Lovely, right?

Oh Joy.

She was not a joy to look at.

She was bald, 400

pounds, man features,

on the dinner table talking

about what you gonna get me.

An uber!

What you think?

I'm not dating you,

Nutty Professor.

So, look, if you want

to date fake people,

go ahead, be my guest.

But me, I can't.

I'm gonna stick to

the old-fashioned way

and go to the club or

slide in somebody's DM.

But I'm not doing this app.

Trash!

- Ha!

- Yo man, what the hell

was that, man?

I like him.

- He's funny.

- To me, he's a hater.

Aye, man, according to

him, your website's trash.

- Bro.

- Trash.

- Trash!

- Come on, chill out, man!

Two, four, five,

seven, nine, 12.

So, how many cookies am

I taking home with me?

None of these

cookies are for you.

Every time you make these

cookies, you know I get half,

like a divorce.

Not today.

So, how was last night?

Perfect.

I mean, he might

not be the one, one.

But he can definitely

take me out again.

And again.

Like your many other men.

The problem is?

Oh, you don't have a problem,

I don't have a problem.

No, I don't.

I mean, don't you

think it's time for you

to like get back out there?

Get on that pony

and ride?

I have no idea why the things

that come out of your mouth

still surprises me.

I don't know either.

How long has it been since

you and Ajax broke up?

It's been six months and

three days and 17 minutes.

It's been a lil' time.

Okay.

Since you've been on a date?

Since she's been on a date?

It is not a crime.

Some people are okay

with being single.

- I'm not.

- Oh, I know.

But I'm trying something new.

You should try a new man.

You know how hard it

is to find a decent man?

They're either married or

trifling or I don't know.

No, I'm good.

What you should

try is online dating.

You want me to

put a profile up

and click a picture and

be like, I like you.

- Yes!

- No!

That's weird.

No it's not.

You know my homegirl

down at the bank, Nisha,

with the big butt?

- Right.

She met her a complete man,

has a wonderful career.

He is cute.

A very decent 401K,

I'm just saying.

You know, I don't want to

put the brother business

out there, but it's decent.

Wait, Nisha's man?

- Yes.

- So, she met him on Blaze?

Yes.

Wait, what's his name?

Marcus.

Wow.

Oh my god, Marcus.

A regular name, not

something stupid like Ajax.

I mean isn't that

what you like clean

the tub with or

something like that?

Okay, yes.

whatever, I don't know,

I'll think about it.

- You really should.

- It's just weird.

It is the wave.

Cozi, seriously,

I'm gonna tell you,

I didn't want to

tell nobody else,

Aisha and Steph

Curry, online dating.

No, they didn't.

Okay.

Barack and Michelle,

online dating.

Stop.

T.I. and Tiny,

bitch, online dating.

Maybe so.

I'm just saying.

Just try it.

What's the worst

that can happen?

Let it go.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

I'm just letting you know.

When you find one, you tell me.

I will tell you

because you know my memory

is like what animal?

- An elephant.

- Exactly!

So, can a sis get more

than just some cookies?

Can I have like a full entree?

How do you always

come here ready to eat?

I'm doing cookies

today for the blog.

- I'm not cooking for you.

- 'Cause my best friend cooks.

'Cause my best friend-NN.

She can cook.

Yup.

- Hello.

- There you go.

- Well, this is drink.

- Eat that.

There you go.

To Blaze Dates.

- Dot com.

Thank you.

Ooh, still get me right there.

Mm, that's good.

Go ahead, check the

cookies, I'm hungry too.

Those cookies are not ready.

They are, I can,

I can smell it, they ready.

They told me, they was like...

These are for you.

I actually made these for you.

That's why you my girl.

You knew you better make me

more cookies on the side.

I'm still gonna eat those,

but I'm gonna eat those too.

Thank you very

much, appreciate it.

Aye man, I know I'm not

watching you make a profile

on your own dating website.

I know that's not what's

happening right now.

No, no, no.

I just need to prove that

my dating site is good

because I know that it's good.

It's just people tripping

with these comments,

these reviews, man.

You worried about

comments on the Internet?

Bro, look at me, man.

Look at your hairline.

Well, you can't look at it,

but look at my hairline.

Look at this part.

Bro, we are crafted to

perfection, all right.

We don't need no Internet

to get girls, man.

No disrespect to your

site, I'm just saying.

- That's the point, fool.

- I know we don't need it.

It's not for us.

But some people who

really need this stuff

to make a love connection,

you know what I'm saying.

So, I'm gonna make the

profile, prove that it works.

Then I'll be able to

call these people out

on their bullshit, you

know what I'm saying.

Look, made a profile, that easy.

Done.

Okay, that plan sucks.

And your username is B-red?

That's whack.

That's what we going with?

I can't use my real

name, man, come on.

So, they don't have a

picture of you on your site?

Nope, they don't

know what I look like.

So look, once I put

these pictures up,

it's gonna get real.

Yeah, I feel you.

I feel you.

No, it's still weak.

Don't do that.

That's whack.

And I'm not wasting a haircut

in here with you, all right.

I'm going to be out there, okay.

But on a serious note,

you know I'm going

through troubling times.

I really appreciate you,

you know, I'm going through

with my baby mom,

my water's cut off,

still got a turd

flip in the toilet.

And I appreciate it,

man, I really do.

How much do I owe you, man?

You good, man, don't even worry.

Say it again.

Don't even worry about it, bro.

I ain't got to pay you

back, ball and Blaze?

Ball and Blaze, I ain't

got to pay you back?

I got you when I get my

cheque. I'm out, man.

Hit me up.

Let me know if your shower

works when you get home.

This is gonna be dope.

Mm.

Maybe it's time I find

someone to hang out with?

Can't be alone forever.

Right, let's see.

Men seeking women.

Mm.

Don't count the days,

make the days count.

Here goes.

Wow.

These girls are nice.

Okay.

All right.

Business owner.

Loves to cook.

No kids.

Very important.

Very interesting, Mr. Blaze.

Very interesting.

This girl is cute.

Loves to cook.

Runs her own food blog.

Okay, nice.

No children.

I'm gonna hit this girl up.

Yeah, she's bad.

Mm.

It's him.

Okay.

Think I'm gonna

message him back.

Mm.

Hey mom.

No, I'm like two minutes

away from walking out

to come get you.

Mm-mm.

I did not forget

about the appointment.

Of course not.

Okay.

I'll see you in a bit.

Love you.

Mm.

Hey girl, thank you

for letting me borrow

these beautiful earrings

for my date tonight.

Oh yeah, no problem.

You know it's for a date

I'm going on with the CEO?

Where do you find these guys?

Oh everywhere.

Have fun.

What you doing over there?

Just browsing.

Looks like a few

things over there.

What you browsing for?

These men look good.

Right, and I think I

found an interesting one.

Okay.

So, check it, he's

an entrepreneur.

No kids.

Jackpot.

Exactly.

We were messaging

earlier this morning.

I'm trying to see

if he's online.

I mean nothing really

is popping off,

but, you know, it's interesting.

You never know.

Oh, so just send him some

sexy pictures like mm, ah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

but he's a stranger.

I don't know him.

That's how you get chose

out. That's how you get bagged.

So, you want me to send

pictures of my tits and ass

to a random guy?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh no thank you.

I don't want to be

chosen like that.

Okay.

So, you can do it

your librarian way,

but it's okay if you want

to live a little, Cozi.

It's okay.

No, I like being a librarian.

Okay, so it looks like you

probably may have found someone

to share those boring

Saturday nights with.

Sounds like a plan.

- Okay.

- Two brain peas in a pod.

Good luck.

But, for me, I will be

going on my date tonight

with a CEO.

I will talk to you later.

Bye, have fun.

Lock up.

Okay.

- Bye.

Rough night?

What happened to you?

Long date.

I got two hours of sleep.

Well, why are you here?

Oh, to give you back

these earrings, girl.

Thank you so much.

Oh, boy, feels so

good on my ear.

Here you go.

You ain't come to

give me these earrings.

Well, I was here

to check on you.

I want to see how

my friend was doing.

Okay.

I was being nosy and I

wanted to see what was up

with that guy from last night.

There we go, there we go.

The truth comes out.

Well, we have been messaging

each other all night.

Ooh.

So, you got his number, huh?

Yep, he gave it to me.

Okay, so you gonna call him?

What the hell you waiting for?

No, that's gonna

be like way too fast.

It's 2019, you better move!

This is not the '50s, girl.

'Cause if you don't,

some Insta-thot

gonna grab him right up.

And you not gonna have no

date for the Valentine's Day.

And you won't be

chilling with me

because I will be with a man.

Oh, I don't want to be with

you on Valentine's Day anyway.

- Perfect.

- Thank you.

- All right.

- But I don't know

about this online dating thing.

It makes me a little wary.

I mean, what if he's crazy?

No, I got your back.

I'll go with you.

Like a chaperone?

No.

Yeah.

A little bit.

- Okay.

I'll be there.

I'm gonna check him out first,

make sure he's not crazy,

but if he is crazy,

I'm gonna beat his ass.

That's true, I like that.

That sounds easy enough, okay.

So, you would do this, right?

Yes, I do it all the time.

Okay.

All right.

I'ma just text him.

Go ahead.

All right.

Okay, so what you gonna

say? 'Cause I know you corny.

- Ah, I know what I'ma say!

- Okay, hit it.

I'ma start with,

Hello!

- That's corny, that's corny!

- Wait, I sent it!

- Its on there!

- Give me the phone!

Give me the phone,

give me the phone.

- Give me the phone!

- I don't want to give you the phone.

Watch a master.

Hey handsome.

Ooh, okay.

Heart eyes, heart eyes.

Okay, okay, that's

enough hearts.

- Eggplant.

- Ooh, uh-uh!

- Eggplant!

- No, delete the eggplant!

- All right, I'll go back.

- Delete the eggplant!

All right, I'm deleting it.

Would like to see you

in person soon, send.

Bam, there you go!

- Oooh!

- I know!

Oh my God!

What if he doesn't text me back?

Girl, he gonna text you back.

He thirsty, just like you.

I'm not thirsty.

Oh, you definitely thirsty.

But that's fine.

Ooh, do you have something

for this headache?

Can't take it in here.

So bright.

My god.

Mmh-mmh-mmh.

Still no response?

Girl, I don't know

your phone like that.

Nothing.

You see I told you that

wasn't the right move to make.

That was too soon

sending that message.

Oh my god, he is just

playing hard to get.

He is thirsty just like you.

He is going to hit you back.

I'm telling you.

Anyway, I need to

focus on business.

I have, I need to come up

with an interesting recipe

for the blog.

Like a cool dessert

for Valentine's Day

or something, you know.

Cookies.

- Yeah, I could do cookies.

- You make good cookies, girl.

Oh wait, what is this?

He just texted me.

I told you.

He said, yes, I

would love to meet you.

And, oh wait,

there's another one.

Meet me at Redwood and we

can have a drink or two

with a little food.

Mm!

I told you!

He thirsty just like you!

- Nobody thirsty.

- I'm just saying.

Whatever.

You excited?

- You pumped, okay.

- I know, I know.

Well, it's my first time.

I didn't know and

I was like, uh.

It's not your first time.

On an online dating thing, yes.

He could have been

crazy or creepy

and I'm like actually excited.

That's a little weird.

It's not, it's normal.

Everybody's doing it.

All right, well.

Okay, so we gotta focus.

I need a recipe.

Okay, so what's a good like

dessert for Valentine's Day?

I don't know, but it

should have eggplant.

You know what.

No, you and them damn eggplants.

- Sorry.

- I'm thinking like red

or pink hearts.

Like, okay.

A red...

Don't do it.

Aye Blaze, who am I supposed

to be, yo? Look, hey Blaze.

It's me.

I'll give you a hint.

I'm ugly.

That girl was not ugly, man.

She don't look like that.

- Whatever man.

- And why you always

eating my food, man?

It's delicious.

Ooh, ooh, I told you.

My plan was gonna work.

Look, I got a badie already

on deck from the dating site.

No, you don't, you

lying. Let me see.

Nah-uh. I don't even

want to show you yet

'cause I don't want

you to jinx it.

You know what I'm saying,

we've just been texting

a little bit back and forth.

Ain't nothing official,

so if it don't work out,

I don't want to hear

your mouth, man.

Oh she must be bad.

Or it's another ugly girl.

Trust me, this girl

is definitely bad.

Oh, it's like that.

- Mm-hm.

- What she do?

Let me see.

On her profile, it says

she runs a food blog.

That ain't no job.

She sell Fit Tea too?

Son, you got you an IG thot.

Oh my god, this girl

is not an IG thot, Rhett,

or whatever the hell that is.

We text a couple times

back and forth, man.

Seems like she

got a little class

and she's already agreed to

meet up with me at the Redwood

in a few days, so.

For real?

That's kinda quick, man.

I'm about to join your website,

sound like it's

working out for you.

It does work, I tried to

make you a profile, bruh.

Told you.

Dating site works, man.

So, you gonna

meet this girl or what?

Hell yeah, I'ma meet

up with this girl.

I mean I came up with this

plan for different reasons

but, at the same time,

it's good 'cause I get to,

you know, get out there with

this dating thing again.

Since that ugly

girl broke your heart.

So devastating.

- Yeah, Rhett, she dumped me.

- Tragic.

- She broke my heart.

- Mm-hm.

But you know how

I'ma make up for it?

By texting this badie.

How's your day?

Oh man, you sound soft.

It's not the Blaze that I know.

Who are you?

This is not the

Blaze I once knew.

We used to be warriors.

It's gonna be dope.

Hi.

Hey.

Wow.

You look amazing.

Thank you.

You look quite

handsome yourself.

Wow, thank you.

Yes, I am a gentleman.

Yeah, chivalry is not dead.

Chivalry is not dead.

Now that you finally

here, how about we get

the night started with

a couple of drinks?

- Okay, I'd like that.

- What is Miss Cozi drinking?

Let's do a Vodka martini?

Vodka martini, good choice.

Two Vodka martinis please.

I'm glad you finally made it.

Me too.

I must say I am really

having a good time.

My friends and I come

here all the time.

We love the wings and, of

course, the food's always good.

Well, I feel the same way.

Wings are definitely fire.

But yeah, I had a real

good time tonight too.

I think we should do

this against, asap.

I mean, if that's cool with you.

Oh yeah.

That's cool with me.

I'm thinking maybe you

can cook for me next time,

I mean, since you like to cook.

Oh, so now I'm

cooking for you?

I mean, we can

test those skills.

What you think?

But aren't you the lady who

runs her own food blog, right?

I do, that I do.

So, maybe next

time we'll make it

a competitive cooking challenge?

I mean, if you're up

for it, of course.

I don't have no

problem with that

as long as you're

okay with losing.

Oh, I don't have a problem

winning at all, yeah.

Extra confident now.

Okay.

But no, seriously, I

had a real good time.

Me too.

You have my number, I

want you to call me asap

so we can do this again.

I think I will, Mr Blaze.

Real soon.

Miss Cozi.

Ajax?

Cozi, what going on darlin'?

What the hell

are you doing here?

I was waiting on you.

Yuh looking like a snack there,

like a little doubles

with slight pepper, eh?

Yuh was waiting on me too?

Don't flatter yourself.

What do you want?

Leh we go inside and

catch up a little bit, nah?

No, good night.

Whoa, whoa,

whoa, hold on, hold on.

You seriously not going

to talk to me at all?

Exactly.

Good night, Ajax.

What the hell does he want?

Mm, I see you.

- What?

- Why you smiling

so hard, man?

I know you had that

date last night.

How was the ass?

Was it fat?

How was the titties?

Did you smash?

You eat all my damned food

and you asking me

all these questions?

You sounding like Inspector

Gadget right now, man.

You act like you the one

that's dating the girl.

- What's up?

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

I just want to make

sure you held it down

for us.

Okay, well, yes Rhett,

the date was awesome.

Yes Rhett, she's a badie.

With a fattie.

But it's not even about

that with this girl, man.

All right.

She's different.

I mean, her personality

is crazy, man.

Her energy, man...

Yo, did you smash or not?

That's all I wanna know.

Really?

Dirty dog, you act like

you out here smashing girls

on the first date.

It was the first date, man.

Yeah, I do smash

on the first date.

All the time.

For real?

Yeah man, all the time.

Wow.

Well, no, dude.

It's not even about

that with this girl,

you know what I'm saying.

I actually like her, man.

I'm telling you, she's a lady.

She's a woman, I can tell.

She's not like

these other girls.

Like I actually want to have

more conversations with her,

you know what I'm saying.

And I get to prove that

my site actually works.

You know, 'cause I got

her from my dating site.

I get to shut the haters

down at the same time.

- You feel me.

- Okay.

Eh, yeah.

I get it.

So, why you being

so secretive, man?

Let me see a pic.

I'm yay-one, day-one.

So, what's up, where it at?

Uh-uh, no, no, no.

I'ma show you,

not too soon, man.

Uh-uh, I don't want to jinx

it like you did last time.

Remember?

Mm, that was an accident.

Right, accident.

All I'm saying is, man,

I don't really want to sound

like a duck or nothing,

but this girl might

be the one, man.

Oh yeah, you definitely

sound like a duck.

You got some more sandwich meat?

I'ma about to go

make a sandwich, man.

Yeah man, go get

some of my lunch meat

and make you a sandwich.

What the hell is he up to?

I just can't figure

this guy out.

I don't know.

Thank you.

I really appreciate you

letting me come and talk to you

face to face.

Am, I just wanted to say

that I'm sorry.

And I miss you real, real bad.

Okay, Ajax, why

are you really here?

To talk to you

about my relationship.

Are you serious?

So, you pop up over

here last night

and then come back again this

morning unannounced, mind you,

to talk about the new

chic you're dating?

Wow, you have some nerve.

No, no, no, it's not that easy.

I'm not exactly seeing

her anymore, so.

Really?

So, did she dump you

for someone better?

That's funny?

Mm, oh that is hilarious.

That is beautiful

karma, wouldn't you say?

Yeah something is what it is.

Well, I'm not going to sit here

and talk about your

relationship drama, so.

Then hear this.

I made a mistake.

I made a mistake by leaving you.

I should ah never

gone back with she.

I mean that is

meh ex-girlfriend.

It wasn't right then

and it's not right now.

You are the only woman that

I've ever been happy with.

For true.

I don't know what to say.

Is all right, yuh eh

have to say nothing now.

I just telling yuh.

I asking you for another chance.

A chance to make things right

and to be the man you deserve.

Yuh eh have to say nothing now,

just think about it.

I gone and work and then

maybe we could talk later

after you had some

time to think.

Ent?

Yeah.

Sure.

I'll talk to you later.

Thanks for the coffee.

Mm.

All right.

Aren't they beautiful?

Oh!

Voila!

What are these?

Homemade chicken pot pie.

This was a

good recipe to put on the blog

and everybody can share

it and it's perfect.

Ah!

Do you smell that?

They smell.

So, next time can

you make some soup?

You know, something

that I can consume.

Okay, well, this isn't for you.

This is for the blog.

Okay.

- Okay.

- And you can try it later,

but, right now, let 'em cool.

God, it looks so good.

Yeah, the senior

citizens gonna love those.

They gonna be like, chu-chu-chu.

Whatever.

So, ma'am, how was

the date last night?

Oh, hmm.

It was really good.

So, we laughed, we

talked, we drank.

We set up for a second date.

- Okay.

- I know!

And he really likes

cooking as well.

So, he is going to cook

for our second date.

Nice.

So, are you gonna be

the dinner that he eats?

See, that's too much.

Yep, bring that back.

Yep, nope, mm-mm.

- I'm happy.

- Thank you.

- That you're finally dating.

- Yes.

- Getting out there.

- I know.

You know, he could be the one.

Or the next one

could be the one,

but the one is what coming.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe?

Best friend, what are

you not telling me?

Okay, Ajax came over last night.

- Damn.

- Mm, I know.

I know and I turned him away.

I kicked him out and then

he came back this morning.

Let me go in my mind,

my mind, my mind, my mind.

He dumped you, right?

I dumped him.

No ma'am, he dumped you.

You don't remember?

When that lady posted

that picture of them

on the beach in Trinidad?

- Yes.

- You remember that?

- Mm-hm, thank you.

- Yeah.

Yeah, and he said he

was sorry for walking away

and he made a mistake.

For walking down the beach.

That's fine.

A mistake or was it a choice?

Well, after he said

what he said, he left,

and transparency?

It felt good.

Like I started thinking

about what he was saying

and it felt good to

hear him say those words

that just, it

brought back feelings

I didn't know were there.

I get it, he apologized.

And I know he fine.

He got that accent.

- Right.

- He's like a tall

glass of like

chocolate, caramel...

His body.

Right.

But don't forget that Wednesday

when that lady posted that

picture and your girl found it,

of the two of them hugged

up, everybody seen it,

even my little brother was

like, ain't that your friend?

Oh my god he with that

big-butt girl in Trinidad

- on the beach.

- We remember, friend.

And then everybody

down at the bar knew.

Right.

And then everybody at the bank.

- Okay, I got it.

- They knew too.

I remember.

And I will never forget.

And I know you will

never let me forget.

- 'Cause I'ma elephant.

- Right, I know.

- Thank you for that.

- I'ma elephant.

- I got it.

- Okay.

- I got it.

- Never forget.

I know!

So, as long as

you don't forget...

I got it.

Of course, I would

never forget that.

He hurt me, I know.

'Cause your girl was here,

solid as a rock here.

- But I just...

- Right here.

I can't help feeling

a little curious.

I'm wondering what he's up to,

like what, I don't know. I

don't even know how I feel.

Why?

Why do you need to

know what is he up to?

We have history.

History is what?

Old news.

It's easier said than done.

Yes, I know, I

want to walk away.

I want to let it go, I

want to not think about it.

But when he was here in

my face saying all that,

it just, I don't know.

It just made me feel a way.

Some type of way.

Can I please have some

wine 'cause I'm feeling

some kinda way.

I'm stressed.

These are ugly, can I...

They're cute, I'm sorry.

Thank you!

They're just not for me.

So hungry though.

- Let me get you some wine.

- Please.

- To bring that down.

- 'Cause you already know

- I need that.

- Yes, thank you.

Thank you, boo.

- Well, that's what friends do.

- Yes, friend.

And I will like a tall glass.

- Thanks.

- Certainly, anything else

- you like?

- No, I'm just gonna check out

these pictures.

- Yeah.

- What's up, bro?

- Padna, what going on?

- How you doing, man?

I cyar complain, daddy.

What the hell are you

doing around here, man?

I have been anywhere

that involves making money

is what I'm doing.

Makes sense.

Everything good?

I can't complain, man,

I can't complain at all.

You still with Tasha?

No, no, no, that is old news.

She was a little

on the clingy side.

Actually, ah waiting

on my new gyul here.

Well, she is not meh gyul

yet, but we wukkin' on it.

- You know what I mean?

- Okay, I got you.

You know in due time.

I actually meeting her here.

- Right now?

- Yeah boy.

Oh, you staying with a bad one.

Hello darlin'.

Hi.

Cozi meet my dear

friend Rhett Thorne.

Rhett, this is my lady Cozi.

- Yeah.

- Yes.

- How are you?

- Nice to meet you.

- Taught you well.

- Thank you, I appreciate it.

- She bad, brother.

- I agree.

Yuh could stop

shaking she hand now.

- My bad.

- Yeah, yeah, it's all right.

Hey man, you all, you know.

Mm-hm, right.

Yeah, yeah, love you too.

Go on about your

business, please.

What wrong with de face?

What's up with calling

me baby and the kiss?

I'm not your lady.

You're not my lady yet,

but you did decide to come

and ask me here for lunch.

To talk, I invited you to talk.

The last time I saw

you, you got all deep

about making a mistake and

I need you to explain that.

Explain.

That need an explanation.

Stop it, come, leh

we get a drink.

- Um, miss.

- Uh, no, no, no.

I'm sorry.

I need a little clarity here.

So is it that you don't

want to be by yourself?

You don't want to be alone?

I mean, what is it?

Were you just lying yesterday?

I need information.

I was an ass.

Okay?

That you were.

All right, that's

not up for debate.

Previously, I was an ass.

But I do know that I miss you.

I know how I feel about you.

And I know that my relationship

with my ex-girlfriend

is deader than a doorknob.

And I'm just asking for a

chance to start over with you.

Would you?

- Just like that?

- No, not just like that.

I mean, we could have

lunch first and then dinner

and then maybe, you know?

That's not cute.

I'm not having dinner with you.

I already have plans for dinner.

Well, that's all right.

I ain't worried

about tomorrow night.

It could be another night,

I'm on your schedule.

As long as you're

willing, I good.

We'll see.

I guess I can have

lunch, I mean I am here.

Oh, that's my girl.

I mean a girl gotta eat.

You ain't never lied.

Bartender, lady, please.

The usual?

Sure.

Two Johnny Walker Blacks.

- Thank you.

- Coming right up.

We're not friends.

That's not true.

Don't speak in opposites.

No, we're not friends.

So, yuh enjoy lunch?

I enjoyed the food.

And the company?

It was all right.

Is all right, is all right,

yuh eh have to say nuttin.

I know yuh enjoy yourself.

I know you, Cozi.

You do know me.

And you know I'm not

about these games, Ajax.

Who playing games?

I ain't playing games.

Cozi, my feelings

for you are honest.

Yuh understand?

Maybe we could do

something another day?

I'll think about it.

All right.

Hey!

I guess we can do

something Saturday.

I'll text you.

Dat sounding good.

That was fast too.

I hate him so much.

Ah!

What am I doing?

God.

Wow.

I'm excited.

You should be.

I told you.

I told you, I told you.

You gotta trust me.

Well, it seems as if you

can throw down in the kitchen.

This is just one of

my chicken dishes, girl.

Wait 'til I make you some steak.

Then you really gonna

fall in love with me.

Oh wow.

Okay, well, let's see.

Wow.

That's really good.

I taste the nutmeg, I

taste the brown sugar.

Organic butter.

Wow.

Okay.

I would even feature

this on my food blog.

That's how good this is.

For real?

Yeah.

That's dope.

You got me here feeling

like I'm a real chef.

The shoe fits.

It's good.

Okay.

Without trying to sound

too much like a cliche,

I have to say something so

just bear with me for a second.

What?

I don't really go to guys'

houses that I barely know

on the first date for dinner.

Like I'm just not that girl.

I just had to say that.

Okay.

So, what changed?

What's so different?

I feel very comfortable

being around you.

And I don't get the creeper

vibe, so there's that.

Creeper vibes?

I don't even know

how to accept that.

That's not a compliment.

Creeper vibes, well, whatever.

I'll take it right now.

Oh, but I do have my

pepper spray in the bag,

just in case.

Pepper spray, for me?

In the bag right now?

And hot sauce

and some seasoning.

I just, you know, I wanted

to be able to eat the food

and I just didn't know.

Wow.

I better be on my

best behavior then.

As you should.

But, no, honestly, you

would never have to worry

about anything from me.

I got sisters and I would

never want anyone to hurt

or disrespect them.

So, I always make sure I'm

respectful to the females.

Nice.

Plus, I'm a gentleman, you know.

Still a few of us

still out here.

Wow, chivalry isn't dead.

Like on an online dating site?

Why, what's wrong with that?

I don't know,

it's my first time,

so I'm not really

an online dater.

You know?

I can understand that, but

you know what I'm saying,

it's 2019, things have

changed and people are looking

for love anywhere

they can find it,

so I'm willing to give

it a try, you know.

So, what about you?

What do you think about the

site, you know what I'm saying?

Meet anybody else, anymore

match-ups, hook-ups?

You got anymore dates lined up?

Wow, look at you.

Somebody's fishing for info.

- Oh, I'm fishing?

- Yeah.

Okay, you got me.

Yeah, I'm plotting a little bit.

Well, it's my first time

being online on any site.

This is my first online date.

You were my first online

candidate, if you will.

I don't know, you're my first

in everything in all of this.

You're the lucky first.

Okay, well, I'm

glad to be your first.

Hopefully, I'll be

your last, right?

Time will tell.

Right.

You like it?

It's cool?

So far, so good, you know.

I don't have anything

to compare it to,

so there's that.

What about you?

Is this your first online date

or are you the serial dater

like this is your thing?

Okay, first I'm a creeper,

now I'm a serial dater?

You just coming with all of it.

Yes, yes, that is my thing.

I lure pretty girls

like you to my house.

Cook 'em elaborate dinners.

That's my MO, okay.

That's very specific.

Let me stop playing with you.

But no, honestly, this

is my first time as well.

I just want to try

something new, you know,

switch it up a little bit.

- Yeah.

- I'm glad I did

because I found you.

I agree.

But I have to thank

my best friend.

She really twisted my arm

to set up an online profile.

She also gave me this

dress to wear tonight.

Okay, your best friend.

And I wouldn't have met you.

Sounds like I need to

send her a thank you card.

Sounds like it.

She gonna be

the reason we get married.

Oh gosh, you don't

want to hear that speech.

But no, I was thinking,

you know what I mean,

since you like the site so much

maybe you can give a review

on yours on the blog?

Tell all your readers and

viewers about it, you know?

I mean, it's just a thought.

Maybe I could.

But you know what

I was thinking?

That next time I

should cook for you.

Oh okay.

So, I've earned a second

date, that's what you saying?

I guess you have.

Look who's plotting now.

Maybe a little bit.

So, what's up?

I'm with it.

You free tomorrow,

let's do this.

Well, tomorrow,

I'm not available.

We have a girl's

night planned, so.

Oh my god, girl's night.

I already know how that goes.

It's good, I ain't tripping.

I know you're a busy

girl or whatever.

So, what about next week?

Valentine's Day?

You gonna be free?

So, wait, you want to

hang out on Valentine's Day?

So, why you looking at

me like I'm a weirdo now?

No, actually, I'm not.

I...

I can't stop smiling,

actually, so.

Listen to me.

I'm not really trying to sound

like a weirdo or anything,

but I'm not doing

anything Valentine's Day.

And, if you don't have any plans

and you're not doing anything,

I would really like to spend

my Valentine's Day with you.

If that's okay?

I like that.

I think we can definitely

make that happen.

Good.

Sounds like Miss Cozi is

gonna be my valentine.

It looks that way, yes.

Speaking of Cozi, I've

been meaning to ask you this,

I'm sorry, your name,

it's very unique.

I've never heard

anything like it.

I mean is it short

for something else?

Yes, so my full

name is Cozette Newton

and Cozi came from my mom.

So, when I was a baby she

would wrap me up in a blanket

and she would say, you're

just so cozy, you're so cozy.

And the nickname

just kinda stuck.

So, I'm lovable, huggable Cozi.

Cute.

Okay.

Sounds like I'm gonna

be getting a lot of hugs

in the future.

Yeah, you play your cards

right, you definitely will.

Okay, but what about you?

Because when I first

saw your name online,

I thought about an

American gladiator.

I don't know, just Blaze!

I don't know.

Oh my god.

You just don't know how much

I got teased about my name

when I was little, man.

I've heard it all,

but it's the same way.

My mom wanted me to be unique.

She wanted me to stand out.

So, that's why she

gave me this name.

You never forget it

when you hear it.

Hey, Blaze works.

You're definitely unique.

Blaze and Cozi.

2019 American gladiators.

I love it.

To Valentine's Day.

Oh, so you just in the

kitchen eating a big ass bowl

of cereal, huh?

Hey man, this isn't

even about me, all right.

Why you got so much

food in your fridge?

It's a refrigerator, man.

It's supposed to have

food in it, fool!

What you talking about?

Nah man, this is different.

It's like Tupperware and

collard greens and yams.

I never seen you cook like that.

I never seen you cook.

You had a girl over here?

Okay, okay, nice

detective work, buddy.

It's the Internet girl.

Internet girl, right?

Yes, I invited her over.

I cooked her dinner.

It was great.

She loved it, she loved me.

And guess what?

I'ma see her again

on Valentine's Day.

Uh!

Who are you?

- Valentine's Day, for what?

- What, what you tripping for?

Man, that ain't your girl.

You ain't even wait for her.

Well, what's the problem?

I don't get it, what's wrong?

Who is she, man?

Who is she?

She still a mystery to me.

She's not no mystery girl, okay.

Her name is Cozi, all right.

You happy now?

Cozi?

Yeah, that's her name.

Cozi, it's short for Cozette.

What, what, what you

looking stupid for?

Please tell me you did not

used to date this girl, man.

Nah, but my boy is.

You never heard me

bring up Ajax before?

Ajax?

What the hell

kinda name is Ajax?

Hell no, I mean, Blaze.

Whatever dog, yeah.

But, yeah, he brought her to

the bar a couple of days ago,

your spot matter of fact.

And he kissed her and

said that's his shortie.

No, no, no, no, no, no way.

- Not my girl.

- Cozi.

Aye man, it's two girls named

Cozi, that's all I'm saying.

No, no, no, no, no, you

gotta have her mixed up

with somebody else, bro.

No way, not my girl.

- Yeah.

- Are you, no!

You got to have it wrong.

Matter of fact, I'll

show you a picture

and we can end this right now.

'Cause ain't no way you

talking about my girl.

Bam.

That's Cozi.

Huh!

That is definitely her.

That's the same chick, man.

I don't forget a face.

She bad, okay, you know me.

She bad, I seen her.

That's who it was, man.

Wow.

I'm sorry I

had to break it to you.

No man, it's all...

It's cool, like I

said, you the homie.

And I would rather you

tell me that anybody else,

you know what I'm saying.

It's better than I

heard it now than later.

Right.

Damn.

Thought she was different.

Your website sucks.

I hate it.

You love this dress.

Well, I hate that you're

wearing it on a date with Ajax.

Why are you even entertaining

him and his nonsense?

What's wrong with going

on a date with a guy?

Nothing.

Unless it's your ex.

Well, sometimes

you just do things

that doesn't always make sense.

We do,

which is why I won't be

able to help you tonight

pick out a dress,

but when you go out

with the Blaze guy again, I

will be happy to come over

and help you pick

out any outfit.

I just went out

with him last night

and we had a great dinner.

It was good.

But tonight you're

gonna go out with your ex,

ass backwards.

You're the one that told

me to start dating, right.

I'm dating.

Yeah, rich, smart, classy guys.

Not your lying-ass ex.

Rich, smart, classy guys.

I think you are really

looking into this way too much.

I'm not dating Ajax.

We're just hanging out

and I'm showing him

what he's missing.

You know how you show

somebody what they're missing?

You pay them dust.

You don't put on a fly dress

and waste that beautiful

contour for him.

Well, friend,

I'm just having fun

and I thought you would be

able to understand that.

Girl, you're lying to me

and you're lying to yourself.

You miss him.

You want him back.

I get it.

That's your ex

and it's familiar.

But guess what?

He's in your past and

that's where he should stay.

You gotta move forward.

Something new,

somebody new, not him.

And I know you're scared

but, sis, this ain't it.

I wish you weren't going

out with Ajax tonight.

But I can't tell you what to do.

He's your past, sis.

But, as for me, I'm going home.

No dates and I'm fine with that.

Friend.

Yo, yo, yo, what's up guys?

This your boy Raz and

I'm here to give you

another virtual review

on the dating site

Yeah, you guys might

know it as Blaze Dates,

but no, it's total shit to me.

I went on another

date with another girl

who had a boyfriend

blowing her phone up.

Then he showed up.

Like control your mans!

Come on, man.

But I should have just smashed

because she was really fine,

but I'm a changed brother

trying to find love

and Valentines, but

I don't know, guys.

I'm gonna try to

give it another shot,

but right now it's

not looking too good.

But, aye yo ma.

Aye yo ma, come here.

Maybe this shit doesn't work.

Or maybe it does?

Damn.

Cozi, what's going on, darling?

I got you home safely

and yuh ain't say nothing

the entire ride home.

What's the problem?

You showed up on my

doorstep three days ago.

You introduced me to

your friend as your lady.

Don't you think we need

to talk about this?

We talked at lunch.

We talked at dinner.

About regular stuff.

We didn't talk about us.

So, there's an us.

- Thanks for bringing me home.

- Hold on, hold on, hold on.

That's it for the night?

That's it period.

Nothing about you

has changed, Ajax.

Why you say that?

Because you're still

the same guy I met.

You just got better at lying.

Okay, you saying that

just because I asked you

to come by the house and chill.

Exactly.

As per usual, the only

thing you're worrying about

is getting some ass.

Cozi.

Co!

Cozi, Cozi, Cozi, Cozi!

Listen, listen, listen.

I'm sorry.

All right, I know I

made some mistakes,

but just tell me what

it is you want me to do.

What you need me to

do and I'll do it.

I promise.

I love you.

I love you with every

last piece of my heart.

You must understand that.

No.

You really want me to go?

I can't believe this girl.

Mm.

Is he ignoring me

or is he just busy?

Okay.

Oh, that looks great.

Okay.

What?

I cannot believe that.

This is gonna look

so good on the blog.

See, my site does work, man.

What are they talking about?

I'm gonna check them all out.

There some nice

girls on here, man.

No, he's supposed to contact me.

Okay.

Well.

Just a quick message.

Oh god I'm like a stalker.

You know what.

Hey Blaze.

What's going on?

Good, how about yourself?

Great.

Have I been calling

you too much?

Nah. You good, you

know what I'm saying.

I've just been real busy.

This is the first time

I really had enough time

to call you back.

Oh okay. So, what

you been up to?

You know the usual.

Working, taking care

of business, cooking.

Dating.

Dating?

Yeah, you know, dating.

Enjoying myself,

living my best life.

What about you?

Oh, just working and stuff.

Hmm, yeah cool.

Well, I'm actually getting

ready for a date right now.

You know what I'm saying.

A date?

Yeah, a date.

You don't have a problem

with that, do you?

I'm just asking because

you been dating too,

at least that's what I heard.

Um, I.

Okay, well, I can't

really talk too much longer.

I got to go.

Got to get ready for this date.

Bye.

Well, what was...

Whatever.

Dating other people?

How did you know I was home?

I was outside waiting for you.

Like a stalker?

A lil' something so.

I could come inside?

It getting a little

cold out here.

Thank you.

I send you some text

messages, yuh eh get them?

I got 'em.

Well, why yuh eh answer me?

Because I've been busy.

I'm working on a new

e-book for the blog

and I don't have time

for your games, Ajax.

Why it is you think

I'm playing games?

Because I know you.

And I also know you've

been telling people

that we're getting

back together.

What the hell?

Who said dat?

Lalah told me she

found out from Jay

and we're not together so why

are you telling people this?

I told a couple

people something,

but I ain't say all of that.

Come on.

What does that even mean?

I told a couple friends

that we were getting

back together,

not that we're back together.

That is not the same thing.

Oh, I could definitely

see how that's so different.

I don't see what's the problem.

You never do.

I'm out here trying to live

my life without you, okay.

And you out there telling people

that we're getting

back together.

I got guys to see.

What guys?

I'm out there meeting people.

All right, and there

maybe some people

that I may like that

may hear the stupid shit

that you're spreading.

I still don't see

what the big problem is.

Cozi, you know how

I feel about you.

And judging from the

kiss the other day,

I'm pretty sure I know how

you feel about me to, so.

Wait a minute.

- What?

- Oh my god.

I wonder.

- You wonder what?

- I wonder if this little lie

that you're telling is getting

back to someone that I know.

You mean some of the other

guys that you have to see?

Why is this so funny?

Why can't I be out

there dating new guys?

Is not that you can't be

out there dating new guys,

is just that, I mean, come on.

Is not like you're just going

and get over me just so,

so stop it.

You think so?

Listen, Cozi, you

could say whatever it is

you have to say to yourself

so you could lie down

and sleep at night.

That's all right,

that no problem.

I don't care about all these

other guys that you seeing.

The only guy I care

about you seeing is me.

All right.

So, leh we go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, where

do you think we're going?

We going Redwoods

for wings and drinks.

You said the wings and

drinks was tasting good

so leh we go back.

So, just like that,

you walk in here

and I'm supposed to go with you?

Wha yuh have to lose?

I'll be in the car.

I hate him so much.

So, what yuh having to eat?

Cozi?

Yeah, oh, I don't know.

Who you macoing so?

I'm not staring.

Ah, okay.

Cozi, you are definitely

staring at somebody here.

Is one of your guys

here or something?

You know what.

Nevermind.

You know what, is all right.

If one of your guys

is here, I don't care.

I ain't care about he at all.

He could be whoever he

is or whatever he is,

if is one thing he's not is me.

So, let we have some

drink and food, please,

and everything will be as usual.

That's it.

Yeah okay.

So how did you like the food?

It's pretty good

if I say so myself.

Yeah, it was pretty good.

Glad you liked it.

What I really enjoyed

the most was your company.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

I like that.

You know let's get out of

here and find some other place.

I know a real decent spot.

Yeah, um.

I like that too.

Yeah, let's do that.

Matter of fact, I got

all this covered already.

Let's get out of here.

Okay.

Damn, such a gentleman.

I try to be.

Sorry about the way I

behave at the restaurant.

I should'na said any

of the things I said.

You can't help it,

you're just being yourself.

I trying to get better.

I working on it every day.

I hear you.

So, what it is going

on with this man Blaze?

What kind of name is Blaze?

He's a wrestler,

he's a superhero?

Oh Blaze, I know

you not tripping.

- What?

- Why does it matter?

I just asking a question.

I cyah ask a question?

The man name Blaze,

is a funny name.

Just somebody I'm talking to,

it's nothing really serious.

Yeah, well, it ain't look

like is serious for him either.

He already walking

around with somebody else

and is not even like she pretty.

- Right.

- Yeah.

I look better than

her on my worst day.

- Easy.

- That good.

So, are you serious?

When you said you wanted

to get back together

and that you missed me?

How many times you

have to ask me that?

As many times as it takes

for me to believe you.

Mm-hm.

- You miss me?

- You know I do.

- You miss me?

- Mm-hm.

You miss me?

Oh babe, I'm

so sorry, your phone.

No, no, forget

the damn phone, girl.

No, your screen

may have cracked.

Is the phone broken?

No, but you do have

a message from Drea.

Wait who?

She can't wait

to see you tonight

'cause she wants to feel you.

- Listen.

- Stop.

- I can explain.

- Yes, so can I.

You're still up to

your same bullshit.

No, no, I need you to leave.

Just get out.

- Cozi.

- For good this time.

Cozi, this woman doesn't

mean anything to me.

All right, I eh even know

the last time I talk to she.

I eh know why she texting me.

I told you, you are the

woman I want to be with.

I mean you know that.

Oh, stop, stop!

I don't want to be with you.

I'm not making

that mistake again.

So, please just get out

and don't ever come back.

I'm not dealing with this again.

This is it, I'm done.

And stop telling people that

we're getting back together

'cause that's never

happening again.

Don't say that, Cozi.

Can you please just go.

And never call me again.

I'm sorry.

Aye man.

I can't lie, I love the

convenience of a gym

in your house.

How you gonna be working

out and eating damned chicken

at the same time, man?

I love it.

Hey man, don't hate

on my convenience.

I pump.

I eat.

I pump again.

I eat again.

It works.

For me.

- What you doing, man?

- Man, I'm trying to check out

these reviews on

this dating site.

Hopefully, I'll be

able to balance out

some of the negative comments,

you know what I'm saying.

Oh, so we lying now?

Hold up, ain't nobody lying.

I'm telling the truth.

You can find good people

on my dating site.

You just gonna have to

weed through the bad ones,

you know what I'm saying.

That's real, that's life.

Yeah man.

Enough about that, man.

What's up with you and Cozi?

Bro, do you know I

seen that girl, man?

She came up in my

spot with some dude

and I'm pretty damn sure

it was that Ajax cat

you was telling me about.

I told you, man.

You know I got your back.

I ain't just gonna

say anything, dog.

I told you, you

know I'm your dude.

Whatever man.

So, what's his story, man?

What you know about him?

I know Ajax for

about a year, man.

And if he with Cozi,

ptew-ptew, he with Cozi.

All right, that

man put up numbers.

Straight up.

That's crazy, man.

'Cause I was on a date myself.

Remember the girl I

was telling you about?

- Mm-hm.

- The little badie that I met

on my dating site.

I mean she was cool.

So, we was in there kicking

it, having a good time,

you know what I'm saying.

Drinking or whatever.

In walks Cozi with this

dude, up in my damn spot.

Can you believe that?

That whore.

Hey man, they always coming at

us like we the bad guys, man.

They worse that us, dog.

They cutthroat.

So, I know she saw me, right.

So, we in there kicking it.

I was being extra flirty,

extra touchy, huggy.

She was kissing on me.

And when we left,

I stared at her.

So, I know she pissed,

you know what I'm saying.

Mmm!

That's the old Blaze, man.

- Yeah?

- Nah.

You sure, you look like you

shedding a tear over there, man?

You about to cry

over there, man?

Oh, so now I'm crying?

You mad?

Ain't nobody mad, man.

I got this shoulder right

here, man, if you need it.

You want this shoulder?

You know I know you

better than anybody,

you can have it Blaze.

I'm good, bro.

I'm good, speaking of shoulders,

looks like you need

to work on yours, man.

Do a set.

I got to get back

to the club, man.

I'm supposed to pick up

these new tables, man.

You could stay here, you

know what I'm saying.

You good, matter

of fact, get a set.

Lift some weights.

Do something.

Nah, I'd rather pick

up this chicken, though.

You got some more, right?

Upstairs, anymore?

I'll do that, man.

Rhett, eat as much

chicken as you want, man.

Mi casa, su casa.

Thank you.

You know what?

Real shit.

I'ma go ahead and keep it

real, I ain't gonna lie.

I am a little salty over

this whole Cozi situation.

You know what I mean?

I liked that girl.

Least I thought I did.

You know what I mean, but

after all this done happen,

you know what, ain't

nobody worried about it,

you know what I'm saying?

Exactly.

You know how many

girls I got on here

trying to hit me up?

How many girls you got?

Too many.

That's the old

Blaze that I know.

Matter of fact, look.

Got a bae hitting

me up right now.

Man you!

Go out there and you do that.

I'm back, baby.

What you doing here?

Hi, I'm here to see Blaze.

Is he here?

He ain't here, bye!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.

Hold on, hold on.

Is he really not here or

are you just playing around?

Blaze is out handling

business right now.

You need to be knocking

on somebody else door,

ringing somebody else doorbell.

You know like Ajax?

Excuse me?

You heard me, woman.

Oh Ajax, okay.

I don't have time to

explain anything to you.

Any idea when he'll be back?

Why, you want to stay?

Wow.

Yeah, no.

I'll just call him

or stop by later.

Thanks.

I might put in a

good word for you.

Girlfriend, answer the phone.

Cozi, what is going on with you?

Okay, first off, I have no

idea what I'm going to make

for the Valentine's Day

feature for my blog.

I need you

to take a deep breath,

take the night off.

Your fans are gonna understand.

But girl, what is really

going on with you?

Right, but Valentine's Day

is right around the corner

and, okay.

Full transparency

moment, friend.

Of course, friend.

I can't get him off my mind.

Who?

Not Ajax!

No, Blaze!

It's like I gotta find

him and tell him the truth

because I don't know

what else to do.

And then I saw him last

night with that woman

and I just felt, I just got...

Oh jealous, boo.

No, no, okay, yeah.

Yeah, I got jealous.

But I don't know why?

It's not like he's my man.

He's like a perfect

stranger to me still.

And then Ajax and all his

damned lies, like, oh!

I just got to fix it.

I'm gonna fix it and

I'm gonna go over there

and I'm gonna let

him know the truth.

I'ma tell him what happened.

Okay, hold up.

Go over where?

It's very stalkerish.

It is very stalkerish.

Okay, you know what?

You're right.

That does sound a bit that way,

but I'm not listening

to you, friend.

Not this time.

I love you but I

gotta follow my heart.

I really believe if I

just tell him the truth

that things will be okay.

So, as much as I appreciate,

yeah, no, no, as much as I

appreciate you telling me.

Okay, you know what, friend?

I love you so much,

friend, I gotta go.

I gotta go!

Friend, friend, oh

my God, I'm sorry!

The phone, the phone!

All right, I know what I need.

I just need a little

liquid courage.

Oh yeah.

Okay, okay, okay, all right.

Okay.

Ahh!

Ooh, okay.

All right.

Hi.

What's up?

How are you?

Wasn't really expecting

to see you here.

I...

I know, I came by earlier

and your friend, Rhett,

said you weren't here, you went

to make a run or something.

Right.

I had to go and

handle some business.

Was it another

date or something?

Another date?

Really?

How was your other guy?

What's his name Ajax or

some damn thing like that?

- Okay.

- What the hell

kind of name is Ajax anyway?

- I deserve that.

- Ain't that dishwashing

detergent?

Can you at least here me out?

I really want to explain

everything thing to you.

You know what, yeah.

I was just gonna have a drink.

Come on, let's go

sit on the deck.

Hey.

Thank you for giving me

a minute to talk to you,

just to explain things.

Yeah.

But I wanted you

to know that you

got some untrue

information from Rhett.

Nah!

What's untrue about it.

He said he saw you all

together at the Redwood, right.

And I saw you all together

last night so I'm confused

about what's untrue about that.

Okay, okay.

Hear me.

Ajax is my ex.

Okay.

And he literally just

popped up out of nowhere,

the night of our date.

And I just needed

clarity, to be honest.

I mean, he's an ex, he

came back out of the blue,

and you know how it is, you

start feeling a certain way,

and then they do something

to make you believe

or remember why they're

the ex to begin with.

And we've all been there, right?

I mean, for me, he's my history.

Cool.

So, you all not together.

No, we are not together.

Cool, we not together either.

I mean, yeah, we had a couple

first dates or whatever.

You can date whoever you

want to date, ai'ight.

It's not like we in a

relationship or nothing.

But I want to see you.

I don't want to go backwards,

I want to go forward.

I want to be with someone

who has a great heart,

who's a great person.

That's why I'm here

because I wanted to be able

to explain to you everything

'cause I felt like

we had something.

Yeah, I did feel that.

But when I saw you with

that other guy, man,

I don't know what I felt.

I felt confused, you

know what I'm saying.

And I felt the same way.

When I saw you with the girl

that really made me feel

like this is who

I want to be with.

This is who I want

to get to know.

This is who I want

to spend time with.

It wasn't a good

feeling and I'm so sorry

you had to feel that way.

It was just a

misunderstanding, I'm so sorry.

Ai'ight.

I mean you saying all this

To be honest, yes, those

last couple days that we had,

they were great.

You the only thing I

been able to think about.

You know what I'm saying.

And I thought about it, yeah,

I want to see where we can go.

But, no, I gotta know

that this is real.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm not trying to

do this by myself.

No.

I'm in it 100%.

I felt the same way too.

Blaze, I want to

get to know you.

I want to be with you.

Yeah.

Is that all right?

Can we get to know each other?

Come here.

Can we get to know each other?

Yeah.

Oh my god.

You're driving me crazy, man.

Wait a minute, come here.

- You cleaning me up?

- Yeah.

Damn.

Got a little me on you.

But hold on, hold

on, wait a minute.

What about this girl that

you were on a date with?

Here I am pouring out all

my feelings about my ex

and what happened and you're

being quiet over there.

So, what's up with that chic?

Because you made it very clear

that you were dating right now.

Yeah, I was dating.

But that was all because of

you. I went out with that girl.

Yeah, we kicked it.

She was cool.

You know what I mean,

and she was fine.

But she ain't my type.

I don't want to be with her.

I want to be with you.

- Yeah.

I want to be with you too.

Oh, oh my god, I'm so,

I gotta go.

No, I'm sorry, I have to get

the blog ready for tomorrow.

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.

So, you really just

gonna get me all excited

and then leave?

Are you serious?

I'm sorry but

tomorrow's Valentine's Day

and I got to get the romantic

dinner up on the blog.

You know, the whole thing.

Wow.

Well, we can do that together.

All right.

I mean, I can help you cook.

We can make the food,

put the pictures up,

print out the recipe,

get it on your blog,

and then it'd be done.

Then we have more time

to spend, you know,

with each other.

You would do that?

Yeah.

Oh, okay, let's...

I would love that.

I would love that. I mean

we were supposed to spend

Valentine's Day

together anyway, right?

Right, 'cause you

remember we did have plans.

- We did have plans.

- For Valentine's Day right.

Yes.

Seems like someone is

going to be a guest chef

on my blog.

Oh, so you gonna

make me a guest chef?

- Absolutely.

- Wow.

Let me call my mama.

Let her know I finally made it.

- You made it.

- Yeah, I made it now.

But, yeah, we did have

plans on Valentine's Day.

You do know that, right?

Absolutely.

So, I guess

everything worked out.

Everything worked out.

Yeah.

Thanks for your

Let's go in the house.

Get started.

This time you can finally

take your jacket off.

You were so mad at me.

Yeah, I was mad.

Dear heavenly Father,

thank you for the blessings

you have placed upon us.

Thank you for blessing

me with the spirit

of this beautiful young lady.

And blessing us both on this

glorious Valentine's Day.

Amen.

That was beautiful.

You're beautiful.

Thank you.

I have to say the roses

are really a great touch.

- You like those?

- I do.

See, I pay attention,

I had those specially

ordered for you.

Really?

I appreciate that.

Let me try this.

Mm.

We did good.

Baby, this is so good.

So, did you get enough pictures

and everything for your blog?

Mm.

I did.

But I'm gonna put

them up tomorrow

or later tonight or something

'cause I really want to enjoy

my Valentine's Day.

Good, 'cause this is my time.

- Yes.

- You know what I'm saying,

- and I want every second of it.

- Absolutely.

- No sharing.

- You gotta make up

for lost time, you

know what I mean.

- That I do.

- Mm-hm.

Mm, you never told me

what you do for a living.

I know you own

businesses or something,

but I don't know

exactly what you do.

You sure I didn't

tell you about that?

Okay.

Might as well come

clean now, right.

Please.

I'm a drug dealer, baby.

Really?

Oh, time to go!

- You didn't believe me?

- No.

I thought girls like dope boys.

Not this one.

But, honestly, you ever

hear of a dating site

Wait a minute.

Okay.

Wow.

Oh my god.

Wow.

Oh my god, yeah.

How did I not put that together?

I don't know.

Yeah, but I didn't

know you owned it.

Oh my goodness.

So, you wanna give that

review now on your blog or what?

Sure.

Well, I got a good

review for it, for sure.

Hook me up.

Is there anything else

you wanna share with me

that you have been keeping

from me that's top secret?

You ever been to a

bar called the Redwood?

Oh, stop it!

Shut up!

You own the Redwood too?

Yah.

How did I not know that?

My god.

Seems that everybody

else knows that except you.

Wow, you're good.

You're really good.

Okay, is that it?

There's more.

No, I promise.

- No more secrets.

- That's it.

- That's it?

- Ever.

But I need you to

keep this a secret,

don't tell everybody.

I'm tryna stay under the radar

with the Blaze Dates thing.

All right.

Your secret is safe with me.

My god.

Too funny.

Oh please let me.

To Redwood and their

fire-ass wings.

I told you they were good.

and helping us find true love.

To Blaze Dates.

Happy Valentine's Day, baby.

Happy Valentine's Day.

This is better

than Redwood's wings.

Oh absolutely.

'Cause we did it.

Hey.

I appreciate it.

You're making me smile.

Eat your chicken, girl.

Happy Valentine's

Day, everybody.

It's your boy, Raz, and

I'm here to give you

And, um.

Boom!

I done find me a little queen!

Aye!

I got to say third time is the...

No, we are not going to do that!

My bad, my bad, babe.

But I gotta say, man, you guys

you can see that me and her

and I gotta say I'm a lucky man.

No, I'm a lucky woman.

Yeah, go ahead

with your fine self.

But we got a date tonight,

man, so everybody,

hold on, let me get that booty.

Show that booty, baby.

Aye, come on!

Aye, aye, happy Valentine's Day.

Your boy's out

here in the street.

- Let's go!

- Ai'ight, ai'ight, baby.

My Online Valentine (2019) - full transcript