My Life as McDull (2001) - full transcript
McDull is not the brightest kid on the block, but he continuously tries to do his best to please his mother. Still it seems he may not be destined for great things like she wishes, but McDull strives to try anyway.
When Mrs. McBing was in labour...
A pan appeared in the sky.
lt flied along Garden Street...
Turned left, and stopped
at the Beefball Κing.
Correction:
lt first arrived at the Market Building...
Lingered a bit...Correction:
lt flied over the railway, turned right...
And headed directly for the BaZaar.
lt flied on...
At last coming into the maternity ward.
There, on the right hand side of
Mrs. McBing.
Correction: Left hand side.
The pan stayed.
Mrs. McBing,
convinced that this was a miracle,
Made a wish...
Thinking of her soon-to-be-born son.
Please make him
a clever and smart boy!
The pan didn't seem to hear her words.
So Mrs. McBing amended her wish:
Or make him a smart businessman?
Or maybe...
Or make him really handsome.
As handsome as Chow Yun Fat or
Tony Leung!
The pan didn't respond.
Mrs. McBing, in panic...
Made a final amendment:
Her boy needed not to be
smart or handsome
Αs long as luck be with him!
lt's nice to depend on oneself...
But luck is essential still.
Of course Chow and Leung are
lucky guys...
But then they are smart too!
Finally, the pan dropped to the floor...
Mrs. McBing,
believing her wish granted...
Thought that was magnificent!
But what had the pan granted her?
A smart boy? Α lucky boy?
Or a Chow look-alike?
To commemorate this, Mrs. McBing ...
Decided to name her son McNificient.
No! lt's better to be humble!
l'll name him McDull!
Dear all...
l am the boy, no more McNificient...
l'm McDull!
"My School"
Oh dear,
your calves have grown strong.
l've been desperately...
looking for a school!
Why not try the one...
at the Emporium?
The Spring Flower Kindergarten?
Yeah! The one at the junction... ...
Right next to Silver City Food Mall.
The Spring Flower Kindergarten!
Only 1 0 minutes walk from
the MTR Station!
Spring Flower Κindergarten,
good environment...
With white teachers for English class!
White teachers for English class?
Yeah!
Spring Flower offer white teachers!
"We are all happy children..."
"We sing everyday!"
"We learn as we grow..."
"We are the flowers of spring!"
This piggy kid in a rabbit outfit...
Who doesn't look the least
like Chow or Leung...
That's me, McDull.
This is my kindergarten.
The headmaster came from
the countryside...
Αs a result, he speaks with an accent.
For many years...
l had difficulty hearing him.
- Tart! - Tart!
- Duck dumpling! - Duck dumpling!
- The 97 Rule... - The 97 Rule...
Shall be replaced by the 98 Rule!
Good, children!
We are sharing an important issue...
this morning:
Children, have you handed in
the school fee?
Yes!
Great! Now move to class.
You might conclude that
this is a shabby school.
But, for me and my mates...
This is the most beautiful paradise!
...Αlso, there is Miss Chan.
Who adores us in
her absent-minded way.
Also, she is a Faye Wong wannabe.
Αctually, Kelly Chan will do!
Roll call now.
- McMug! - Present!
- Fai! - Present!
- Goosie! - Present!
- Darby! - Present!
- May! - Present!
- June! - Present!
- May! - Present!
- McMug! - Present!
May!
Miss Chan, i've been called twice!
Oops!
Good morning, sir!
Good day, sir!
Back to roll call.
- Fai! - Present!
- Darby! - Present!
- May! - Present!
- McMug! - Present!
- Goosie! - Present!
Have l missed anyone?
McDull!
Hey, l don't understand...
l keep feeling that...
Someone is calling me.
Don't think that l've been daydreaming.
l was contemplating something academic:
How does this universe work?
l mean, l ate 6 oranges that morning...
And my stomach wouldn't stop.
Then l ate 3 bananas this morning.
Again my stomach wouldn't stop...
lt just wouldn't stop!
How are these two things related?
There are so many things that
l don't understand.
But i am not afraid.
One day, when l finish kindergarten...
l shall move up...
And get my degree.
When l graduate from university, l know...
l shall understand everything!
And then ...
l will buy my mother a house!
Our headmaster runs a teastand...
Which we kids frequent after class.
- Fishball noodle, please.
- No noodle left.
- Fishball rice noodle then.
- No fishball left.
- Chicken wing noodle then.
- No noodle left.
- How about fishball congee?
- No fishball left.
Nothing left today?
- How about beef noodle?
- No noodle left.
Again?
- Fried chicken wing with fishball...
- No fishball left.
Hey, fishball and noodle are both gone...
You can't combine them with other things.
Can't combine them?
- Α bowl of fishball then.
- No fishball left.
- Α bowl of noodle?
- No noodle left.
By now...
you can probably tell how smart l am.
Nothing worried me, all things were fine.
No fishball left? Let's get some noodle.
Shoot, Dull!
Watching myself grow and grow...
Εveryday...
l feel full of strength!
The world is beautiful!
There is a song Miss Chan loves...
Which i always want to learn...
But it just comes out different.
You mean
"Αll Things Bright and Beautiful"?
Yes, all are fine!
All things on earth...
They are fine!!
"My Mother"
1 ,2,3,4,5,6,7...
No pain no gain!
Monday till Sunday... No pain no gain!
The middleaged swine is Mrs. McBing,
my mother...
A brilliant woman...
carrying the world!
Yes, she is really something.
She works in insurance,
real estate and trading.
At the height of iT,
she even sets up her cooking site...
Offering brilliant dishes.
Welcome to"Mrs. Mc Can Cook".
Today we're doing a simple dish,
Paper Chicken.
Kids at home would love it.
The ingredient: a chicken bun.
Slowly, we tear the paper away
from the bun
Now we have a bun paper.
Turn the paper over like this...
Voila! Simple, isn't it?
Thank you, everyone!
How time flies since last episode!
Now we shall do a Paper Bun.
The ingredient takes only a paper.
Do it like this...
And we have a Paper Bun.
lsn't this a lovely bun?
A novelty today for everyone:
Chicken Bun Paper Bunning a Bun.
First, unwrap the chicken
from the paper.
Now we have a paper and
a piece of chicken.
Use the bun paper to wrap up
the chicken like this...
And then wrap it like this...
The delicious Chicken Bun Paper
Bunning a Bun!
Such a simple dish!
See if the chicken is good!
Kids are bound to love...
today's dish...
Bunning a Chicken Bun Paper...
Bunning the Paper Chicken.
lt takes simple work.
Use the chicken bun to bun...
the chicken bun...
Then use the chicken bun paper to...
bun and bun...
Paper, bun, bun, paper, bun...
Paper, chicken, bun, bun, chicken...
But my mother has her tender side.
Εvery night,
she tells me a story before sleep.
Once upon a time, a boy lied. One day...
He died.
Once upon a time, a boy studied hard.
He grew up and got rich.
Once upon a time, a boy was naughty.
One day...
He twisted his ankle.
Mother, l want to sleep.
Once upon a time, a boy slept a lot.
Next day...
He died.
That is my mother's direct approach.
Her love for me is direct.
Her expectation of me is direct.
For her, it is always...
"no pain no gain".
But there are things that
simply cannot be gained.
Days come and go.
Talking about Chow look-alike...
You still think it's going happen?
When it comes to luck...
The lottery numbers that
mother obliges to draw...
Failed even to bring her one cent!
Αs for being smart...
l did try hard, but then...
But then, i still have dreams.
"My ldeal World"
Maldives, a world outside our world.
The sky blue, clouds white,
the trees tall and water bright.
The colourful world of the tropical sea.
The primitive ocean of primitive energy.
Εxperience a world that
knows no boundary!
Εnjoy a trip to your ideal world.
Brilliant Touring Αgency,
license no. 350999
Mother, you know where Maldives is?
Far.
How far?
You need to fly there.
Mother will you take me there?
One day when l am rich.
When will you get rich?
Soon...
ln my dream!
Good morning, sir!
Good day, sir!
Where is your favourite place?
My favourite place is Japan.
They have Disneyland and
Hello Κitty Land.
l bought my hairpin there.
My favourite place is Canada.
Grandma and my uncles live there.
My favourite place is Bangkok.
They have water sports and
shark's fin soup.
My favourite place is that...
What's-it's name.
They have Fun World and Food Mall.
Their chicken rice fills you up.
Right, that's Silver City Centre.
They serve huge bowls of rice.
Αs for the place l most want to go, wow!
There, the sky is blue,
clouds white, the trees tall...
lt is a world outside our world.
Rise and shine, kiddo.
Oh?
Mother!
Take some medicine and he'll be fine.
Will he not what after the medicine?
No!
Need he not what for the medicine?
No! l'll give him a shot.
A shot?
He's scared of shots.
ls he scared of dying?
How are you doing? Take the medicine.
Mother l don't want medicine.
Please mother, no.
l don't want the strawberry drink!
You won't get well without the medicine.
Sweetie, we will go to Maldives once
you get well.
Really?
Has mother ever lied before?
Now, drink up.
Yes, Maldives!
Maldives!
Mother, when will we go?
l will book the ticket once you get well.
Come on, drink up!
Look, mother!
Mother, l am well!
l've taken all the medicine.
But you've taken everything edible
at home.
You see, the whole bottle was filled...
And l gulped it down bit by bit...
l did it!
Now i am a good boy!
Now i am not sick!
Mother...
What?
When are we going to Maldives?
Maldives?
You said we would go once i get well.
Maldives, where the trees tall and
water bright...
The world outside our world!
Those words have flare.
l am happy for you.
Mother, you promised...
We'd go to Maldives once l get well.
l meant once l get rich.
No, that wasn't what you mean.
You said we'd go once i get well.
You promised!
Now stop crying.
We will go to Maldives.
- Really? - Yes.
When?
Once i get rich.
But you are rich.
Sure, sure, i am rich.
We will go next week, ok?
Bravo!
This is McDull.
Hey, l'm leaving tomorrow.
- Yes... - ls that right?
The food on board is horrible?
Be it so!
We couldn't bring our own food, right?
Still chatting away?
You need to pack.
Tell them i'm going to Maldives tomorrow.
Where the trees tall and water bright...
Hey, you!
Coming!
l need to pack now. Talk to you later.
See you!
Mother, do l need to bring
my birth certificate?
l guess so.
And school report?
We don't need that.
Wow, l'm saved!
l found it!
l found my birth certificate!
Mother, you keep it and don't lose it...
Or else we're stuck.
Leave on the morning, return at night.
Mother said that'd make things worthy.
Hence...
The most beautiful day
in my childhood experience...
Passed.
Do you think paper is
a good chicken wrapper?
Maybe.
lf only for one small piece.
- Goodnight, mother! - Goodnight!
The Hong Κong...
windsurfing athlete San San Li...
Has just won the first gold medal
in Hong Kong history!
San San, when confirmed her winning...
Told reporters that her result...
Help proves that
Hong Kong athletes are horrible...
Εxcuse me, it should be"honourable".
Hong Kong athletes
are honourable athletes.
Εnd of special report.
Then, mother seemed inspired.
Handsome, lucky, smart...
So much for those plans.
Now how about something physical?
"Looking for Logan"
And so, while one dream lingers on...
Another one begins.
"aka: How Does a Calf Become a Calf?"
lt's about the Calf!
l know it is not easy.
l know it is not easy to find Logan.
l know it is not easy for him to take me in.
No matter how difficult this is...
Logan will be my master!
l shall get an Olympic medal!
Cheung Chau!
You raised San San,
now you will raise me!
When l receive my Olympic medal...
l shall tell the world:
HK athletes are honourable athletes!
Cheung Chau, l finally make it here.
l must kiss this holy land!
Kiddo, this is Lamma lsland.
Lamma lsland?
Where Chow Yun Fat grew up?
l came into hiding on this island...
To stay away from the paparaZZi.
And so many kids came to seek me out.
So l came to live here.
You want me to be your master?
Forget it!
You city kids are all spoiled...
Good for nothing!
You want to get an Olympic medal too?
Dream on!
Kiddo, look!
This calf...
So thick, so strong!
And so muscular!
With steely veins running down...
Hair sticking out like wire...
And those tough toenails!
How many hills must it travel...
How many seas must it pass...
How much pain must it bear...
Before a calf becomes a calf?
l shall have this calf!
Master!
Can l take a pee?
Whenever l sing this song, l need to pee.
Taking a pee first would not help.
But i must sing it now.
With this song, l hope...
Logan will think better of me.
Logan will be my master!
The song goes like this...
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
"Eat the bun, grow a calf..."
"Respect my mother."
"Eat the bun, toughen my calf..."
"Serve my country."
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
Logan looks strange after the song.
l must grab my chance.
Master! Please be my master!
Or let me kneel here forever!
Get up...
Thank you master!
Silly, help me get up.
My calf has gone numb!
l tell mother what happened today.
She won't say a word...
But starts to defreeze a chicken.
At dinner,
mother offers 3 glasses of wine...
Oranges and the chicken to
the ancestral tablet.
Mother then tells me to kneel down.
She mumbles something when...
We pay our respect to our ancestor.
Αs mother pours the wine on the floor...
She says in her solemn, tender voice:
Be good,
learn with the master and
honour the ancestor.
ln honour of my master,
mother throws a banquet.
Αs l am the last disciple of the master...
Εveryone on Cheung Chau comes.
San San's lover thinks...
l have a nice thick back.
San San is in training and couldn't come.
All my mates are there too...
Bringing school report,
medals and big buns.
They hope Logan will take them in also.
After the soup, the ceremony begins.
Mother pours a cup of tea and
l offer it to the master.
After all the hardship looking for Logan...
Now i can windsurf together with
San San!
l offer the tea to Logan...
He drinks the tea and
becomes my master.
All the guests look happy.
And everyone from
Cheung Chau applauds.
Thank you for honouring me!
ln my life, l have two skills that
l'm proud of.
One is windsurfing.
That i have passed onto San San.
The other, i shall pass onto
my new disciple...
Let him show the world...
what a marvelous skill that is!
Can you tell us what skill is that?
That is...
Bun snatching!
Bun snatching?
"Bun Snatching",
for our uninformed audience...
ls a unique Cheung Chau tradition.
Εach year, in the forth month,
Cheung Chau people...
Set up 3 stacks of bun to celebrate.
Stacks of bun?
Literally speaking...
A stack of bun is a stack of many buns!
Εach stack coming up to 6, 7 storeys.
lmagine how high that is.
Bun snatching is to snatch those buns!
When the time comes,
hundreds of youth would rush up...
The higher the bun you snatch,
the more blessed you are.
And the more praises you get.
ln 1 978, 2 stacks tumbled down,
hurting many.
"Bun Snatching" was thus banned!
And the unique tradition is lost.
The Olympic medal...
it has slipped away.
Εvery Saturday,
l'd take a ferry to Cheung Chau...
To practice bun snatching.
A game with no medal,
no competitor, no competition...
A game nobody knows of.
A game with no bun to snatch!
All l do is to go to the master's home...
And crawl around the shelf.
My win!
Keep going, laZy bone!
One day, San San arrives!
San San, my idol!
Seeing San San...
Makes me forget all these weeks'
hard work.
San San!
San yourself! Work!
You hear me?
So San San leaves without seeing me.
ln despair, i crawl up the shelf.
l have had a lot of things said to me...
But"San yourself"...
hurts like never before.
l... l...
l am quitting!
Today is the first time
l sit down with Logan.
He must be around 50,
with a baby face.
Fresh from the oven!
This thing...
What does it look like?
Dull... he's not a bad student.
Logan then proceeds to tell me a lot...
His ambition, his expectation of Dull.
He says he'll teach all he knows to Dull.
The more he talks,
the more excited he gets.
He tells me windsurfing
is not his strongest.
His strongest is really bun snatching...
Something combining Fist,
ritual and gymnastic.
He says bun snatching is
his lifelong achievement.
Move your feet!
Look!
This calf... so thick, so strong!
And so muscular!
With steely veins running down...
Hair sticking out like wire...
And those tough toenails!
How many hills must it travel...
How many seas must it pass...
How much pain must it bear...
Before a calf becomes a calf?
My son...
Your son, he will get this calf.
l have no idea why would Dull need...
such a calf.
But, looking at those steely veins...
l am reminded of Dull's pa, Bing.
The electronic dictionary
cannot be found.
Where could it be?
Could it be that...?
So mother has been using the dictionary?
But why is she writing in English?
The letter is short.
Mother must have translated it
word by word.
l use the machine to turn it back
into Chinese.
lt is addressed to
the Olympic Committee Chairman.
"Dear Chairman:"
"How are you? i am fine."
"You like bun? l like bun!"
"We Hong Kong people here love bun."
"Buns of all sort."
"Dear friend,
it is important to snatch buns."
"lt is a game, no joke."
"One needs energy,
and many night congee."
"ln my stupid opinion..."
"Snatching bun is an Olympic game."
"Let athletes all over the world snatch!"
"Αnd there will be peace."
"Do you have children?"
"l have a boy, Dull."
She's talking about me!
"He is a good boy."
"He knows how to snatch buns."
"One day,
l can see him snatching buns..."
"Ending up snatching
an Olympic medal."
"That is the biggest comfort
a mother can get."
"Let the world know
the talent of your children."
"Parents will do anything for that."
"That is why i write you this sudden letter."
"Αlthough you don't know
humble things like me."
"But my boy is big, very big."
"One day, you will know him too."
"Thank you for your cooperation."
"Yours faithfully, Mrs. Mc"
After reading mother's letter...
l go back to Cheung Chau to practice.
Not because of San San.
l don't know why l want to snatch a bun.
And l don't think it will ever become
an Olympic item.
But i keep learning.
Because l love my mother.
Master thinks my crawling has passed.
Now i'll learn the
"1 2 Bun Snatching Hands".
Master says these 12 hands,
in its prime...
Was much admired by Butcher Lin!
Later, i learn from McMug...
Butcher Lin was a disciple of
the great Kung Fu king.
l don't know much about Kung Fu kings...
But i must be the ultimate pork...
The pork that struts about
with buns in hands.
My mind boggles as l practice, after all...
l am not a fan of bun snatching.
l am only doing this for mother.
Hence i hang on...
Step by step, claw by claw...
l make it pass
the"1 2 Bun Snatching Hands".
"There is no deformity,
but saves us from a dream"
This is Dull.
Dull the big guy, not Dull the boy.
The two Dulls have different voices,
and then...
Dull the boy's world is still filled
with fantasy...
Filled with hopes.
Hope... Disappointment...
Hope...
Disappointment.
On and on, he became Dull the big guy.
But i shall tell more about Dull the boy.
Dull the boy hoped a lot.
He hoped there WAS a Santa Claus.
And he hoped to eat a Christmas turkey.
Right, l haven't eaten any turkey then.
Εverything about turkey...
The sparkling tinkling Christmas tree...
Like stars falling from the sky...
Coming down by the fireplace.
Εach slice of meat looks purer than snow.
Right in front of us...
The aroma attacks our soul...
Waking even the guardian angels.
Who float around the aromatic and
holy dish...
Floating in the Christmas night, floating...
All this about turkey was
only my imagination.
l had never eaten a turkey.
l had never even smelt one.
Mother claimed turkey was too big.
The two of us would never finish it.
One Christmas we celebrated with
roast duck.
l was really, really disappointed.
Another year,
she bought a mini-oven at 60% off...
At a closedown sale.
Thanks to the oven...
Mother decided one day...
We would go shopping for a turkey.
On the way home, with turkey in hand...
That was the happiest moment in my life.
The turkey was ready.
Following mother,
with salt on both hands...
l rubbed the turkey's thick chest.
When sewing up...
Some of the stuffing...
leaked out.
l cried: the turkey's stomach won't stop!
We managed to stuff the turkey
into the oven.
24th, December
Rising smoke stirred the stars with
a crunchy smell.
The oven hummed. Hummed.
lt was like early blessing from the angels.
Such a beautiful night!
Mother and me sat at the seafront.
Lights shimmered on the sea.
Beautiful and gentle.
So beautiful!
l had never tasted anything so strong.
Cup noodles or roast duck
were not as strong.
The taste embedded
every single taste bud...
Then exploded.
Like everything tonight...
Most beautiful, brilliant, and tender.
l woke up late the next day.
The sweetness was still there
after washing.
As we had a late breakfast...
There was only corn soup for lunch.
l idly found diced turkey...
in the soup.
That night finally came the long awaited...
Christmas turkey dinner!
Slices of meat,
accompanied by guard and potato...
Were dressed with soy sauce.
lt was an exciting,
satisfactory moment for us.
The following week,
turkey sandwich for breakfast.
Sunday,
l boldly suggested eating out.
Mother said l was ungrateful...
But took me out anyway.
Then mother got inspired again.
What was left of the turkey was sliced...
With me helping out at times.
lt was not easy to get rid of...
the turkey's smell.
Fried noodle with sliced turkey, yummy.
Steaming chestnut bowl with
sliced turkey.
Peanut congee with turkey bone.
Paper turkey bun.
Paper turkey paper bun.
Turkey pete with bread.
l shouldn't have said anything about
the turkey's stomach.
Came Dragon Boat Festival,
when i dug into the dumpling...
And found more pieces of turkey...
l lost it. l cried.
Oh please!
When mother finally disposed of
the turkey...
lt was already half year later.
My beautiful dream ended with
my nightmare.
Later, i learned that...
A serving turkey needs only be raised...
For a few months.
The time the turkey spent with us...
Was in fact longer than its life.
l realiZed also, with turkey...
Taking the first bite is all it matters.
Afterwards,
it is just"be over and done with it".
l am no philosopher.
l could not come up with any profundity.
But, such thoughts...
After l grew up...
On days unrelated to Christmas...
Did come up again a couple of times.
Once, it was at my wedding.
Once...
lt was at my mother's cremation.
That day, l was looking at
the smoke rising up.
Suddenly, the smell of
the turkey returned.
l regretted l made mother
threw the turkey away.
"Special Report"
'Special Report"
Olympic medal winner San San Li
will compete again...
To prove to the world that...
HK athletes are horrible.
Also...
The local federation...
officially announced today:
HK will apply to host the Αsian Games.
Response from
all sides has been enthusiastic.
Among them,
the Bamboo Game Association...
ls proposing Mahjong for official game.
While Tearoom Serving Groups...
have vowed...
To campaign for"Tart Throwing".
As for the Cold Cut and
Roasting Αssociation...
They believe...
"Duck Hanging"
would make an ideal addition.
More interesting,
ClC lnsurance is joining force with...
Children from...
Spring Flower Primary School...
ln support of...
"Bun Snatching"...
A game thought extinct.
ln the end...
Nothing came of anything.
"Tart Throwing"
was chosen as the highlight.
Αs for the official slogan...
"HK, One Big Tart" was a logical choice.
Then San San Li lost.
And the hosting right of
the Asian Games...
Went to a place Hong Kong people
have never heard of.
Tearoom workers,
those aspiring athletes...
Went back to where
they used to throw their tarts.
Εverything went on as usual.
ln secondary school,
l stopped practicing the 12 hands.
Sometimes, when l went out with mother...
l'd still snatch a bun for her.
Then they stopped selling buns.
Carts were replaced by ordering sheet.
Εverything came to nothing.
At times, i'd go to Cheung Chau
for barbecue.
The master looked older...
Εach time l saw him.
For environmental reason...
They'd changed to snatch plastic buns.
Master thought they stunk.
On Cheung Chau
was a Cheung Po Tsai Cave.
Where legend claimed
the pirate hid his treasure.
As l was the one who could crawl...
My mates said l should take a look and
maybe get rich.
So l crawled along the dark and
narrow cave.
Crawling.
There was nothing but a box.
l opened the box...
lnside, there was an unfinished bun.
Maybe the pirate didn't get to finish it.
"Eating 6 buns last night..."
"Still left me hungry."
"Eating 1 1/2lb white bread last night... "
"Still left me hungry."
"Excelled 6 sets of steps
when i was young..."
"Still left me empty."
"Brought up San San
when i am old! Still..."
Bun in hand, i suddenly realiZed...
There are things that cannot be forced.
A no is a no.
No fishball, no noodle, no Maldives...
No medal, no pirate's treasure.
And the pirate took no bite.
Stupid is not funny.
Stupid leads to failure...
To disappointment.
Disappointed is not funny.
Fatness is not funny too.
Fatness is not powerful.
Power doesn't mean yes.
Bun in hand, i suddenly thought...
Growing up, facing this sordid world...
This not so dreamy, not so funny world...
What shall l be?
"...Nothing shall be done!"
"l Have Grown Up"
"Fat, Still"
"Powerful"
Right, l am McDull the big guy.
Fat, with raw power.
Not doing too well.
Negative property.
With a pair of really thick calves.
Very muscular...
With steely veins running down.
As for the toenails...
l got bored one time and stared at it...
They're tough, no kidding!
Yes, the story ends here.
This is a try.
Εrror... Try...
No guarantee that one would make it.
ln the end...
Zero gain? Not really.
l have my calves.
But, standing here like this...
When the waves hit...
l feel great.
You see, smart guys like me
don't really know...
How to make a lesson out of
his own story.
With calves in water...
When the wind blows, i'd think...
lf mother could see me like this...
She'd be happy.
l've come up with a lesson!
Mother got inspired after
her dot com failed.
She published a cookbook.
The last recipe was"Roast Chicken".
A simple dish no less.
"Roast Chicken".
lngredient: chicken.
Method: roast the chicken.
That way, you have a roast chicken.
There was a remark in the cookbook:
lf you want a delicious chicken...
A chicken that wouldn't upset you...
The secret is: please, roast it well!
Thank you!
One Regular, please.
What's a Regular?
The same as Special.
What's a Special?
Same as Quickie.
What's a Quickie?
A Quickie is a Lunch.
What's for Lunch?
The same as Supper.
What's for Supper?
Same as Regular.
We'll have the Regular.
Our Regular today is fantastic!
Sorry, Regular is gone.
We can have the Special.
What's a Special?
A Special is a Lunch.
What's for Lunch?
What you get for Supper.
What's for Supper?
Same as Quickie.
What's for Quickie?
A Quickie is a Regular.
But you said Regular is gone!
Regular sure is gone.
How about the Special?
lt's the Special, then.
Sorry, Special is gone.
Mother, let's have the Quickie.
What's for Quickie?
A Quickie is a Regular.
What's for Regular?
A Regular is a Lunch.
What's for Lunch?
Same as Supper.
And Supper?
Supper is like Special.
But you said the Special is gone.
The Special sure is gone.
Try Quickie. lt's the same.
We'll have Quickie.
Sorry, Quickie is gone.
This is too much!
ls there anything we can eat here?
Try the Lunch. lt's fantastic!
How so?
lt's like the Supper.
What about the Supper?
lt's like the Regular.
And what about the Regular?
The Regular is gone. lsn't that fantastic?
Great! We'll have Lunch.
Sorry, Lunch is gone.
Try our Supper. lt's all the same.
l'm not having supper
under board daylight!
What's in a name?
lt's the same as Lunch.
Great! Whatever you say!
And make it quick!
You want it quick? Try Quickie!
A pan appeared in the sky.
lt flied along Garden Street...
Turned left, and stopped
at the Beefball Κing.
Correction:
lt first arrived at the Market Building...
Lingered a bit...Correction:
lt flied over the railway, turned right...
And headed directly for the BaZaar.
lt flied on...
At last coming into the maternity ward.
There, on the right hand side of
Mrs. McBing.
Correction: Left hand side.
The pan stayed.
Mrs. McBing,
convinced that this was a miracle,
Made a wish...
Thinking of her soon-to-be-born son.
Please make him
a clever and smart boy!
The pan didn't seem to hear her words.
So Mrs. McBing amended her wish:
Or make him a smart businessman?
Or maybe...
Or make him really handsome.
As handsome as Chow Yun Fat or
Tony Leung!
The pan didn't respond.
Mrs. McBing, in panic...
Made a final amendment:
Her boy needed not to be
smart or handsome
Αs long as luck be with him!
lt's nice to depend on oneself...
But luck is essential still.
Of course Chow and Leung are
lucky guys...
But then they are smart too!
Finally, the pan dropped to the floor...
Mrs. McBing,
believing her wish granted...
Thought that was magnificent!
But what had the pan granted her?
A smart boy? Α lucky boy?
Or a Chow look-alike?
To commemorate this, Mrs. McBing ...
Decided to name her son McNificient.
No! lt's better to be humble!
l'll name him McDull!
Dear all...
l am the boy, no more McNificient...
l'm McDull!
"My School"
Oh dear,
your calves have grown strong.
l've been desperately...
looking for a school!
Why not try the one...
at the Emporium?
The Spring Flower Kindergarten?
Yeah! The one at the junction... ...
Right next to Silver City Food Mall.
The Spring Flower Kindergarten!
Only 1 0 minutes walk from
the MTR Station!
Spring Flower Κindergarten,
good environment...
With white teachers for English class!
White teachers for English class?
Yeah!
Spring Flower offer white teachers!
"We are all happy children..."
"We sing everyday!"
"We learn as we grow..."
"We are the flowers of spring!"
This piggy kid in a rabbit outfit...
Who doesn't look the least
like Chow or Leung...
That's me, McDull.
This is my kindergarten.
The headmaster came from
the countryside...
Αs a result, he speaks with an accent.
For many years...
l had difficulty hearing him.
- Tart! - Tart!
- Duck dumpling! - Duck dumpling!
- The 97 Rule... - The 97 Rule...
Shall be replaced by the 98 Rule!
Good, children!
We are sharing an important issue...
this morning:
Children, have you handed in
the school fee?
Yes!
Great! Now move to class.
You might conclude that
this is a shabby school.
But, for me and my mates...
This is the most beautiful paradise!
...Αlso, there is Miss Chan.
Who adores us in
her absent-minded way.
Also, she is a Faye Wong wannabe.
Αctually, Kelly Chan will do!
Roll call now.
- McMug! - Present!
- Fai! - Present!
- Goosie! - Present!
- Darby! - Present!
- May! - Present!
- June! - Present!
- May! - Present!
- McMug! - Present!
May!
Miss Chan, i've been called twice!
Oops!
Good morning, sir!
Good day, sir!
Back to roll call.
- Fai! - Present!
- Darby! - Present!
- May! - Present!
- McMug! - Present!
- Goosie! - Present!
Have l missed anyone?
McDull!
Hey, l don't understand...
l keep feeling that...
Someone is calling me.
Don't think that l've been daydreaming.
l was contemplating something academic:
How does this universe work?
l mean, l ate 6 oranges that morning...
And my stomach wouldn't stop.
Then l ate 3 bananas this morning.
Again my stomach wouldn't stop...
lt just wouldn't stop!
How are these two things related?
There are so many things that
l don't understand.
But i am not afraid.
One day, when l finish kindergarten...
l shall move up...
And get my degree.
When l graduate from university, l know...
l shall understand everything!
And then ...
l will buy my mother a house!
Our headmaster runs a teastand...
Which we kids frequent after class.
- Fishball noodle, please.
- No noodle left.
- Fishball rice noodle then.
- No fishball left.
- Chicken wing noodle then.
- No noodle left.
- How about fishball congee?
- No fishball left.
Nothing left today?
- How about beef noodle?
- No noodle left.
Again?
- Fried chicken wing with fishball...
- No fishball left.
Hey, fishball and noodle are both gone...
You can't combine them with other things.
Can't combine them?
- Α bowl of fishball then.
- No fishball left.
- Α bowl of noodle?
- No noodle left.
By now...
you can probably tell how smart l am.
Nothing worried me, all things were fine.
No fishball left? Let's get some noodle.
Shoot, Dull!
Watching myself grow and grow...
Εveryday...
l feel full of strength!
The world is beautiful!
There is a song Miss Chan loves...
Which i always want to learn...
But it just comes out different.
You mean
"Αll Things Bright and Beautiful"?
Yes, all are fine!
All things on earth...
They are fine!!
"My Mother"
1 ,2,3,4,5,6,7...
No pain no gain!
Monday till Sunday... No pain no gain!
The middleaged swine is Mrs. McBing,
my mother...
A brilliant woman...
carrying the world!
Yes, she is really something.
She works in insurance,
real estate and trading.
At the height of iT,
she even sets up her cooking site...
Offering brilliant dishes.
Welcome to"Mrs. Mc Can Cook".
Today we're doing a simple dish,
Paper Chicken.
Kids at home would love it.
The ingredient: a chicken bun.
Slowly, we tear the paper away
from the bun
Now we have a bun paper.
Turn the paper over like this...
Voila! Simple, isn't it?
Thank you, everyone!
How time flies since last episode!
Now we shall do a Paper Bun.
The ingredient takes only a paper.
Do it like this...
And we have a Paper Bun.
lsn't this a lovely bun?
A novelty today for everyone:
Chicken Bun Paper Bunning a Bun.
First, unwrap the chicken
from the paper.
Now we have a paper and
a piece of chicken.
Use the bun paper to wrap up
the chicken like this...
And then wrap it like this...
The delicious Chicken Bun Paper
Bunning a Bun!
Such a simple dish!
See if the chicken is good!
Kids are bound to love...
today's dish...
Bunning a Chicken Bun Paper...
Bunning the Paper Chicken.
lt takes simple work.
Use the chicken bun to bun...
the chicken bun...
Then use the chicken bun paper to...
bun and bun...
Paper, bun, bun, paper, bun...
Paper, chicken, bun, bun, chicken...
But my mother has her tender side.
Εvery night,
she tells me a story before sleep.
Once upon a time, a boy lied. One day...
He died.
Once upon a time, a boy studied hard.
He grew up and got rich.
Once upon a time, a boy was naughty.
One day...
He twisted his ankle.
Mother, l want to sleep.
Once upon a time, a boy slept a lot.
Next day...
He died.
That is my mother's direct approach.
Her love for me is direct.
Her expectation of me is direct.
For her, it is always...
"no pain no gain".
But there are things that
simply cannot be gained.
Days come and go.
Talking about Chow look-alike...
You still think it's going happen?
When it comes to luck...
The lottery numbers that
mother obliges to draw...
Failed even to bring her one cent!
Αs for being smart...
l did try hard, but then...
But then, i still have dreams.
"My ldeal World"
Maldives, a world outside our world.
The sky blue, clouds white,
the trees tall and water bright.
The colourful world of the tropical sea.
The primitive ocean of primitive energy.
Εxperience a world that
knows no boundary!
Εnjoy a trip to your ideal world.
Brilliant Touring Αgency,
license no. 350999
Mother, you know where Maldives is?
Far.
How far?
You need to fly there.
Mother will you take me there?
One day when l am rich.
When will you get rich?
Soon...
ln my dream!
Good morning, sir!
Good day, sir!
Where is your favourite place?
My favourite place is Japan.
They have Disneyland and
Hello Κitty Land.
l bought my hairpin there.
My favourite place is Canada.
Grandma and my uncles live there.
My favourite place is Bangkok.
They have water sports and
shark's fin soup.
My favourite place is that...
What's-it's name.
They have Fun World and Food Mall.
Their chicken rice fills you up.
Right, that's Silver City Centre.
They serve huge bowls of rice.
Αs for the place l most want to go, wow!
There, the sky is blue,
clouds white, the trees tall...
lt is a world outside our world.
Rise and shine, kiddo.
Oh?
Mother!
Take some medicine and he'll be fine.
Will he not what after the medicine?
No!
Need he not what for the medicine?
No! l'll give him a shot.
A shot?
He's scared of shots.
ls he scared of dying?
How are you doing? Take the medicine.
Mother l don't want medicine.
Please mother, no.
l don't want the strawberry drink!
You won't get well without the medicine.
Sweetie, we will go to Maldives once
you get well.
Really?
Has mother ever lied before?
Now, drink up.
Yes, Maldives!
Maldives!
Mother, when will we go?
l will book the ticket once you get well.
Come on, drink up!
Look, mother!
Mother, l am well!
l've taken all the medicine.
But you've taken everything edible
at home.
You see, the whole bottle was filled...
And l gulped it down bit by bit...
l did it!
Now i am a good boy!
Now i am not sick!
Mother...
What?
When are we going to Maldives?
Maldives?
You said we would go once i get well.
Maldives, where the trees tall and
water bright...
The world outside our world!
Those words have flare.
l am happy for you.
Mother, you promised...
We'd go to Maldives once l get well.
l meant once l get rich.
No, that wasn't what you mean.
You said we'd go once i get well.
You promised!
Now stop crying.
We will go to Maldives.
- Really? - Yes.
When?
Once i get rich.
But you are rich.
Sure, sure, i am rich.
We will go next week, ok?
Bravo!
This is McDull.
Hey, l'm leaving tomorrow.
- Yes... - ls that right?
The food on board is horrible?
Be it so!
We couldn't bring our own food, right?
Still chatting away?
You need to pack.
Tell them i'm going to Maldives tomorrow.
Where the trees tall and water bright...
Hey, you!
Coming!
l need to pack now. Talk to you later.
See you!
Mother, do l need to bring
my birth certificate?
l guess so.
And school report?
We don't need that.
Wow, l'm saved!
l found it!
l found my birth certificate!
Mother, you keep it and don't lose it...
Or else we're stuck.
Leave on the morning, return at night.
Mother said that'd make things worthy.
Hence...
The most beautiful day
in my childhood experience...
Passed.
Do you think paper is
a good chicken wrapper?
Maybe.
lf only for one small piece.
- Goodnight, mother! - Goodnight!
The Hong Κong...
windsurfing athlete San San Li...
Has just won the first gold medal
in Hong Kong history!
San San, when confirmed her winning...
Told reporters that her result...
Help proves that
Hong Kong athletes are horrible...
Εxcuse me, it should be"honourable".
Hong Kong athletes
are honourable athletes.
Εnd of special report.
Then, mother seemed inspired.
Handsome, lucky, smart...
So much for those plans.
Now how about something physical?
"Looking for Logan"
And so, while one dream lingers on...
Another one begins.
"aka: How Does a Calf Become a Calf?"
lt's about the Calf!
l know it is not easy.
l know it is not easy to find Logan.
l know it is not easy for him to take me in.
No matter how difficult this is...
Logan will be my master!
l shall get an Olympic medal!
Cheung Chau!
You raised San San,
now you will raise me!
When l receive my Olympic medal...
l shall tell the world:
HK athletes are honourable athletes!
Cheung Chau, l finally make it here.
l must kiss this holy land!
Kiddo, this is Lamma lsland.
Lamma lsland?
Where Chow Yun Fat grew up?
l came into hiding on this island...
To stay away from the paparaZZi.
And so many kids came to seek me out.
So l came to live here.
You want me to be your master?
Forget it!
You city kids are all spoiled...
Good for nothing!
You want to get an Olympic medal too?
Dream on!
Kiddo, look!
This calf...
So thick, so strong!
And so muscular!
With steely veins running down...
Hair sticking out like wire...
And those tough toenails!
How many hills must it travel...
How many seas must it pass...
How much pain must it bear...
Before a calf becomes a calf?
l shall have this calf!
Master!
Can l take a pee?
Whenever l sing this song, l need to pee.
Taking a pee first would not help.
But i must sing it now.
With this song, l hope...
Logan will think better of me.
Logan will be my master!
The song goes like this...
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
"Eat the bun, grow a calf..."
"Respect my mother."
"Eat the bun, toughen my calf..."
"Serve my country."
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
"Big bun, have two more..."
"Forget about indigestion."
Logan looks strange after the song.
l must grab my chance.
Master! Please be my master!
Or let me kneel here forever!
Get up...
Thank you master!
Silly, help me get up.
My calf has gone numb!
l tell mother what happened today.
She won't say a word...
But starts to defreeze a chicken.
At dinner,
mother offers 3 glasses of wine...
Oranges and the chicken to
the ancestral tablet.
Mother then tells me to kneel down.
She mumbles something when...
We pay our respect to our ancestor.
Αs mother pours the wine on the floor...
She says in her solemn, tender voice:
Be good,
learn with the master and
honour the ancestor.
ln honour of my master,
mother throws a banquet.
Αs l am the last disciple of the master...
Εveryone on Cheung Chau comes.
San San's lover thinks...
l have a nice thick back.
San San is in training and couldn't come.
All my mates are there too...
Bringing school report,
medals and big buns.
They hope Logan will take them in also.
After the soup, the ceremony begins.
Mother pours a cup of tea and
l offer it to the master.
After all the hardship looking for Logan...
Now i can windsurf together with
San San!
l offer the tea to Logan...
He drinks the tea and
becomes my master.
All the guests look happy.
And everyone from
Cheung Chau applauds.
Thank you for honouring me!
ln my life, l have two skills that
l'm proud of.
One is windsurfing.
That i have passed onto San San.
The other, i shall pass onto
my new disciple...
Let him show the world...
what a marvelous skill that is!
Can you tell us what skill is that?
That is...
Bun snatching!
Bun snatching?
"Bun Snatching",
for our uninformed audience...
ls a unique Cheung Chau tradition.
Εach year, in the forth month,
Cheung Chau people...
Set up 3 stacks of bun to celebrate.
Stacks of bun?
Literally speaking...
A stack of bun is a stack of many buns!
Εach stack coming up to 6, 7 storeys.
lmagine how high that is.
Bun snatching is to snatch those buns!
When the time comes,
hundreds of youth would rush up...
The higher the bun you snatch,
the more blessed you are.
And the more praises you get.
ln 1 978, 2 stacks tumbled down,
hurting many.
"Bun Snatching" was thus banned!
And the unique tradition is lost.
The Olympic medal...
it has slipped away.
Εvery Saturday,
l'd take a ferry to Cheung Chau...
To practice bun snatching.
A game with no medal,
no competitor, no competition...
A game nobody knows of.
A game with no bun to snatch!
All l do is to go to the master's home...
And crawl around the shelf.
My win!
Keep going, laZy bone!
One day, San San arrives!
San San, my idol!
Seeing San San...
Makes me forget all these weeks'
hard work.
San San!
San yourself! Work!
You hear me?
So San San leaves without seeing me.
ln despair, i crawl up the shelf.
l have had a lot of things said to me...
But"San yourself"...
hurts like never before.
l... l...
l am quitting!
Today is the first time
l sit down with Logan.
He must be around 50,
with a baby face.
Fresh from the oven!
This thing...
What does it look like?
Dull... he's not a bad student.
Logan then proceeds to tell me a lot...
His ambition, his expectation of Dull.
He says he'll teach all he knows to Dull.
The more he talks,
the more excited he gets.
He tells me windsurfing
is not his strongest.
His strongest is really bun snatching...
Something combining Fist,
ritual and gymnastic.
He says bun snatching is
his lifelong achievement.
Move your feet!
Look!
This calf... so thick, so strong!
And so muscular!
With steely veins running down...
Hair sticking out like wire...
And those tough toenails!
How many hills must it travel...
How many seas must it pass...
How much pain must it bear...
Before a calf becomes a calf?
My son...
Your son, he will get this calf.
l have no idea why would Dull need...
such a calf.
But, looking at those steely veins...
l am reminded of Dull's pa, Bing.
The electronic dictionary
cannot be found.
Where could it be?
Could it be that...?
So mother has been using the dictionary?
But why is she writing in English?
The letter is short.
Mother must have translated it
word by word.
l use the machine to turn it back
into Chinese.
lt is addressed to
the Olympic Committee Chairman.
"Dear Chairman:"
"How are you? i am fine."
"You like bun? l like bun!"
"We Hong Kong people here love bun."
"Buns of all sort."
"Dear friend,
it is important to snatch buns."
"lt is a game, no joke."
"One needs energy,
and many night congee."
"ln my stupid opinion..."
"Snatching bun is an Olympic game."
"Let athletes all over the world snatch!"
"Αnd there will be peace."
"Do you have children?"
"l have a boy, Dull."
She's talking about me!
"He is a good boy."
"He knows how to snatch buns."
"One day,
l can see him snatching buns..."
"Ending up snatching
an Olympic medal."
"That is the biggest comfort
a mother can get."
"Let the world know
the talent of your children."
"Parents will do anything for that."
"That is why i write you this sudden letter."
"Αlthough you don't know
humble things like me."
"But my boy is big, very big."
"One day, you will know him too."
"Thank you for your cooperation."
"Yours faithfully, Mrs. Mc"
After reading mother's letter...
l go back to Cheung Chau to practice.
Not because of San San.
l don't know why l want to snatch a bun.
And l don't think it will ever become
an Olympic item.
But i keep learning.
Because l love my mother.
Master thinks my crawling has passed.
Now i'll learn the
"1 2 Bun Snatching Hands".
Master says these 12 hands,
in its prime...
Was much admired by Butcher Lin!
Later, i learn from McMug...
Butcher Lin was a disciple of
the great Kung Fu king.
l don't know much about Kung Fu kings...
But i must be the ultimate pork...
The pork that struts about
with buns in hands.
My mind boggles as l practice, after all...
l am not a fan of bun snatching.
l am only doing this for mother.
Hence i hang on...
Step by step, claw by claw...
l make it pass
the"1 2 Bun Snatching Hands".
"There is no deformity,
but saves us from a dream"
This is Dull.
Dull the big guy, not Dull the boy.
The two Dulls have different voices,
and then...
Dull the boy's world is still filled
with fantasy...
Filled with hopes.
Hope... Disappointment...
Hope...
Disappointment.
On and on, he became Dull the big guy.
But i shall tell more about Dull the boy.
Dull the boy hoped a lot.
He hoped there WAS a Santa Claus.
And he hoped to eat a Christmas turkey.
Right, l haven't eaten any turkey then.
Εverything about turkey...
The sparkling tinkling Christmas tree...
Like stars falling from the sky...
Coming down by the fireplace.
Εach slice of meat looks purer than snow.
Right in front of us...
The aroma attacks our soul...
Waking even the guardian angels.
Who float around the aromatic and
holy dish...
Floating in the Christmas night, floating...
All this about turkey was
only my imagination.
l had never eaten a turkey.
l had never even smelt one.
Mother claimed turkey was too big.
The two of us would never finish it.
One Christmas we celebrated with
roast duck.
l was really, really disappointed.
Another year,
she bought a mini-oven at 60% off...
At a closedown sale.
Thanks to the oven...
Mother decided one day...
We would go shopping for a turkey.
On the way home, with turkey in hand...
That was the happiest moment in my life.
The turkey was ready.
Following mother,
with salt on both hands...
l rubbed the turkey's thick chest.
When sewing up...
Some of the stuffing...
leaked out.
l cried: the turkey's stomach won't stop!
We managed to stuff the turkey
into the oven.
24th, December
Rising smoke stirred the stars with
a crunchy smell.
The oven hummed. Hummed.
lt was like early blessing from the angels.
Such a beautiful night!
Mother and me sat at the seafront.
Lights shimmered on the sea.
Beautiful and gentle.
So beautiful!
l had never tasted anything so strong.
Cup noodles or roast duck
were not as strong.
The taste embedded
every single taste bud...
Then exploded.
Like everything tonight...
Most beautiful, brilliant, and tender.
l woke up late the next day.
The sweetness was still there
after washing.
As we had a late breakfast...
There was only corn soup for lunch.
l idly found diced turkey...
in the soup.
That night finally came the long awaited...
Christmas turkey dinner!
Slices of meat,
accompanied by guard and potato...
Were dressed with soy sauce.
lt was an exciting,
satisfactory moment for us.
The following week,
turkey sandwich for breakfast.
Sunday,
l boldly suggested eating out.
Mother said l was ungrateful...
But took me out anyway.
Then mother got inspired again.
What was left of the turkey was sliced...
With me helping out at times.
lt was not easy to get rid of...
the turkey's smell.
Fried noodle with sliced turkey, yummy.
Steaming chestnut bowl with
sliced turkey.
Peanut congee with turkey bone.
Paper turkey bun.
Paper turkey paper bun.
Turkey pete with bread.
l shouldn't have said anything about
the turkey's stomach.
Came Dragon Boat Festival,
when i dug into the dumpling...
And found more pieces of turkey...
l lost it. l cried.
Oh please!
When mother finally disposed of
the turkey...
lt was already half year later.
My beautiful dream ended with
my nightmare.
Later, i learned that...
A serving turkey needs only be raised...
For a few months.
The time the turkey spent with us...
Was in fact longer than its life.
l realiZed also, with turkey...
Taking the first bite is all it matters.
Afterwards,
it is just"be over and done with it".
l am no philosopher.
l could not come up with any profundity.
But, such thoughts...
After l grew up...
On days unrelated to Christmas...
Did come up again a couple of times.
Once, it was at my wedding.
Once...
lt was at my mother's cremation.
That day, l was looking at
the smoke rising up.
Suddenly, the smell of
the turkey returned.
l regretted l made mother
threw the turkey away.
"Special Report"
'Special Report"
Olympic medal winner San San Li
will compete again...
To prove to the world that...
HK athletes are horrible.
Also...
The local federation...
officially announced today:
HK will apply to host the Αsian Games.
Response from
all sides has been enthusiastic.
Among them,
the Bamboo Game Association...
ls proposing Mahjong for official game.
While Tearoom Serving Groups...
have vowed...
To campaign for"Tart Throwing".
As for the Cold Cut and
Roasting Αssociation...
They believe...
"Duck Hanging"
would make an ideal addition.
More interesting,
ClC lnsurance is joining force with...
Children from...
Spring Flower Primary School...
ln support of...
"Bun Snatching"...
A game thought extinct.
ln the end...
Nothing came of anything.
"Tart Throwing"
was chosen as the highlight.
Αs for the official slogan...
"HK, One Big Tart" was a logical choice.
Then San San Li lost.
And the hosting right of
the Asian Games...
Went to a place Hong Kong people
have never heard of.
Tearoom workers,
those aspiring athletes...
Went back to where
they used to throw their tarts.
Εverything went on as usual.
ln secondary school,
l stopped practicing the 12 hands.
Sometimes, when l went out with mother...
l'd still snatch a bun for her.
Then they stopped selling buns.
Carts were replaced by ordering sheet.
Εverything came to nothing.
At times, i'd go to Cheung Chau
for barbecue.
The master looked older...
Εach time l saw him.
For environmental reason...
They'd changed to snatch plastic buns.
Master thought they stunk.
On Cheung Chau
was a Cheung Po Tsai Cave.
Where legend claimed
the pirate hid his treasure.
As l was the one who could crawl...
My mates said l should take a look and
maybe get rich.
So l crawled along the dark and
narrow cave.
Crawling.
There was nothing but a box.
l opened the box...
lnside, there was an unfinished bun.
Maybe the pirate didn't get to finish it.
"Eating 6 buns last night..."
"Still left me hungry."
"Eating 1 1/2lb white bread last night... "
"Still left me hungry."
"Excelled 6 sets of steps
when i was young..."
"Still left me empty."
"Brought up San San
when i am old! Still..."
Bun in hand, i suddenly realiZed...
There are things that cannot be forced.
A no is a no.
No fishball, no noodle, no Maldives...
No medal, no pirate's treasure.
And the pirate took no bite.
Stupid is not funny.
Stupid leads to failure...
To disappointment.
Disappointed is not funny.
Fatness is not funny too.
Fatness is not powerful.
Power doesn't mean yes.
Bun in hand, i suddenly thought...
Growing up, facing this sordid world...
This not so dreamy, not so funny world...
What shall l be?
"...Nothing shall be done!"
"l Have Grown Up"
"Fat, Still"
"Powerful"
Right, l am McDull the big guy.
Fat, with raw power.
Not doing too well.
Negative property.
With a pair of really thick calves.
Very muscular...
With steely veins running down.
As for the toenails...
l got bored one time and stared at it...
They're tough, no kidding!
Yes, the story ends here.
This is a try.
Εrror... Try...
No guarantee that one would make it.
ln the end...
Zero gain? Not really.
l have my calves.
But, standing here like this...
When the waves hit...
l feel great.
You see, smart guys like me
don't really know...
How to make a lesson out of
his own story.
With calves in water...
When the wind blows, i'd think...
lf mother could see me like this...
She'd be happy.
l've come up with a lesson!
Mother got inspired after
her dot com failed.
She published a cookbook.
The last recipe was"Roast Chicken".
A simple dish no less.
"Roast Chicken".
lngredient: chicken.
Method: roast the chicken.
That way, you have a roast chicken.
There was a remark in the cookbook:
lf you want a delicious chicken...
A chicken that wouldn't upset you...
The secret is: please, roast it well!
Thank you!
One Regular, please.
What's a Regular?
The same as Special.
What's a Special?
Same as Quickie.
What's a Quickie?
A Quickie is a Lunch.
What's for Lunch?
The same as Supper.
What's for Supper?
Same as Regular.
We'll have the Regular.
Our Regular today is fantastic!
Sorry, Regular is gone.
We can have the Special.
What's a Special?
A Special is a Lunch.
What's for Lunch?
What you get for Supper.
What's for Supper?
Same as Quickie.
What's for Quickie?
A Quickie is a Regular.
But you said Regular is gone!
Regular sure is gone.
How about the Special?
lt's the Special, then.
Sorry, Special is gone.
Mother, let's have the Quickie.
What's for Quickie?
A Quickie is a Regular.
What's for Regular?
A Regular is a Lunch.
What's for Lunch?
Same as Supper.
And Supper?
Supper is like Special.
But you said the Special is gone.
The Special sure is gone.
Try Quickie. lt's the same.
We'll have Quickie.
Sorry, Quickie is gone.
This is too much!
ls there anything we can eat here?
Try the Lunch. lt's fantastic!
How so?
lt's like the Supper.
What about the Supper?
lt's like the Regular.
And what about the Regular?
The Regular is gone. lsn't that fantastic?
Great! We'll have Lunch.
Sorry, Lunch is gone.
Try our Supper. lt's all the same.
l'm not having supper
under board daylight!
What's in a name?
lt's the same as Lunch.
Great! Whatever you say!
And make it quick!
You want it quick? Try Quickie!