My Girlfriend's Boyfriend (1999) - full transcript

Make sure you
compliment the house.

Libby.

Hi.

Cory, this is
Jake, my boyfriend.

Hi, nice to meet you, Jake.

Hi, uh... congratulations.

Thanks.

Come on in.

I didn't know you
were bringing anyone.

-Neither did I.
Great house, really.

Oh, right, like it's work.



I'm telling you, it's a lot
more work than you think.

OK, fine. You're lying in bed
with this beautiful woman, right?

But the camera's
like a foot away.

The lights are
beating down on you.

The director's telling you where to put
your hands, your face, your lips...

Your?

No, not that.
Come on.

What?

You guys shouldn't
be having so much fun without us.

We're not.

Cliff was just sharing the hardships
of life on the set of "Primrose Plaza."

I'm not saying that it's a
hard life, I'm just saying.

Ah, shut up and drink.

Hey, wait until
after the toast.



To my best friend
in the whole world,

and to her new best friend
for the rest of her life.

Now you may kiss the bride.

And you may kiss me.

Yeah.

Couldn't wait for
the good stuff.

Tasted worse.

This, um, ill-mannered rogue
is unfortunately the best man

that I could find
to be my best man.

A very tight labor market.

- Wes, this is Libby, and,...
- Liberty.

Oh, sorry, Liberty and Jake.

Hi.

I'm sorry we didn't wait, but
we didn't know where you went.

I told you, I went
to the liquor store.

I would have been back a lot
sooner if I got my directions my Cory.

This guy doesn't know
which way he's going.

Can you push it in just
a... just a little more?

It's not going to fit.

Yes, it will.

Damn these shoes.

I told her to get
me a size 13 wide.

She decides 12 and 1/2 normal.

The style's better.

Well, it is.

Oh.

Where'd you rent your tux?

I don't rent.
I bought it.

It should come in handy.
I attend a lot of benefits.

In fact, that's how
I first met Cliff.

Really?
How long ago was that?

Must be about six years now.

Yeah, it was right before
he got his first series.

And you've been
close all this time?

Very close.

Then were you surprised?

It's the Wednesday before maybe
the biggest weekend of my whole career.

I have got this huge meeting on
Monday, which I should be preparing for.

Liberty calls me into
her office and says...

You work with Liberty?

Yeah. We work at a sporting goods
manufacturer in the design department.

We're sort of co... you know, I mean she
tends to facilitate my work in a way that...

She's your boss?

Right. So I... I really can't tell her
that I'm meeting with another company,

even though I already did present my
designs to her and she ignored them.

You're... you're
very good at that.

Yes, I am.

Allow me.

I mean, we've only been
dating for a couple weeks,

if you can even call it that.

You know, I was always interested
in her, but she never seemed to care.

And then suddenly,
we go out once.

Then, we go out again.

Then we even... yeah, you know?

But I didn't think
it was serious.

And then she says her best
friend in the whole world...

Everything with Liberty
is in the whole...

In the whole world...
Is getting married

and she wants we to come
all this way to the wedding.

- Does she really need me to be here?
- Does she? - No.

She's the most independent
woman I have ever met.

She's got a great job.

She's gorgeous, athletic, runs
marathons, teaches karate.

Ow, damn shoe.

Hold still.

She just decided she
had to bring a boyfriend.

She does do a lot
of deciding for you.

I noticed that.

Hold still.
I just about got this.

Libby, hi.

We tripped.

Wes was helping me
with my cummerbund.

It's these darn 12 and 1/2s.
I told you I wasn't normal.

U, so I see.

Oh, no, no, no.
We weren't...

Of course not.

It's Jeff.

I cannot believe you
gave him this number.

For emergencies.

Yeah, right.
Well, don't talk long.

The tuxedo shop closes in an hour in
case we need to make any alterations.

I'll be back.

Jeff, is there a problem?

Canceled?

Damn. How am I ever going
to... Philip Bright himself.

Tonight?

But... I'm at a wedding.

Can't you do something?

A train.

All right.
All right.

I'll try to think of something.

Thanks... Bye.

They canceled Monday's meeting
and set one up for tonight.

They can't move a meeting
like that and expect you to...

Philip Bright can.

That's the amazing part.

My meeting on Monday
was with some underling.

Tonight, I can meet
with Philip Bright.

You know, the head up Bright
Athletic Shoes,

step out of the darkness
into a pair of Brights?

He's big, believe me.

My friend is friends with
his personal assistant.

Bright is headed to Asia for
this month-long business trip,

but she knew that he would have
a layover for a couple of hours.

He's agreed to meet with me personally
if I can stop by the airport tonight.

And at that
meeting, you'll, uh...

Present my idea for
a tongueless sneaker.

You slip it on almost
like a slipper.

And then one little zip
across the side, you're set.

How astonishing.

Yeah, it's a revolutionary
breakthrough in sneaker infrastructure.

But if Bright doesn't
see it for a month.

I mean, you know the
sneaker business.

Hm.

There's a train at 5:00
that would get me back in time.

For Liberty to kill you.

And she looks like
she could do it, too.

Yeah, she'd probably make
it look like an accident.

Yeah, if I leave before the wedding,
she'll never forgive me. We'd be finished.

Of course, if I told
her the reason, then...

Then I'd be fired as well.

Screwed both ways.

But still, I can't miss this opportunity
with Bright. This is my whole career.

But I would hate to lose her.

She's gorgeous.

Sex is great.

She's smart, successful.

Intimidating?

Completely, yeah.

Who am I kidding? A woman like
that is bound to dump me soon anyway.

I've got to focus on my career.

So you dump the girl?

The maid of honor, hours before
her best friend's wedding?

That would be about the lowest, most
despicable thing I could do, wouldn't it?

And if things don't work
out well with Bright,

she could make my life a
living hell at the office.

Let's face it, there is no way
I can break up with her now.

Unless you had a good reason.

So you think I
should do it then?

Well, you'd need a good reason.

A really good reason.
Something that wouldn't hurt her.

Something that she
wouldn't take personally.

We wouldn't want her to
persecute you at the office.

No, it has to be something
like... that you're gay.

Right.
Like she'd believe that.

Well, you saw the look
on her face before.

Well. That's because
it looked like we were...

Believe me, the line has always
gotten me out of trouble with woman.

Of course, I am gay.

You are?

Oh, you didn't know?

Oh, don't get me wrong, I
don't have a problem with it.

It's your business.

It could be yours, too.

You want to... with me?

Just for appearance sake.

Liberty sees you with me
in a certain position,

you're on your train by 5:00.

No hurt feelings.

You're out of
here, clean escape.

So to get out I've got to...

Come out.

I don't know.
I don't think I could... no.

Gay?

Me?

And then there's the
problem with... if she...

And with the
whole... no, I can't.

Thanks for the thought.

I'm sorry you had
to find out this way.

You are gay?

You bastard.

Or bitch... whatever.

How could you do this to me?

At a wedding.

No, it's not that you're not...

Well, at least this
explains the sex.

I'm not pressuring you, Cory.

I just that, you know, I was
married to the man for nearly 20 years

and I'd simply like to know if he plans on
spending the night her after the wedding.

Mom, he's not coming.

The jerk.

I mean, he was never the
most considerate father,

but usually when it
came to you, he would...

Because I didn't invite him.

He probably has some surgery
scheduled that he can't cancel anyway.

I told you, mom, this
is a tiny wedding.

We don't want to
attract the press.

You know, Cliff's on those
tabloids enough already.

We just want our very
closest friends and family.

Well, I guess that would
eliminate your father.

But I still don't see why you won't
let me do just a little more for you.

Hm?

OK, we didn't invite
a lot of people.

We didn't have it catered.

But we still might have
time to find a band, huh?

What do you say?
Huh?

Oh, Mom.

Oh, honey.
Don't you understand?

It's just, you're my only child

and I want to do everything
I can to make this day

as special for you as I can.

Oh, Liberty.

Oh, honey, you look wonderful.

Oh.

But then, you always do.

Thank you, Mrs. Lindross.

So do you.

Oh, I think it's
time you call me Rita.

I mean, you're not
a teenager anymore.

How's your mom?

She's good.
She sends her love.

- Oh, tell her I'll call her next week, OK?
- OK.

- Could you put these over there for me?
- Sure.

Oh!
Liberty, that's for the wedding.

I'm sorry.
I'll clean it up.

Oh.
That's all right, we have more.

You didn't have to yell at her.

I'm sorry. We'll just...
we'll just clean it up.

We'll clean up.

It's not the vase.

It's Jake.

Uh, Jake?

The boyfriend.

I just saw him kissing Wes.

Oh, Wes, his boyfriend?

Well, honey, um... I know it's a
little unsettling when you see

that for the first time, but
men today have a right to...

No, he's Libby's boyfriend.

Was.

Oh.

That a boy, Jake.

Don't want to leave a mess.

You think she's ready
to listen to an apology?

You don't apologize
for being a homosexual.

You do when you
were dating the girl.

What are you doing?

Helping you pack.

You want to get out of here as
quickly and as quietly as you can.

And Libby?

You've done enough
for her weekend.

Give her a call next week.

Trust me.

Hey, Jake.

Oh, hey, Cliff.

I was just... ow.

What'd I do to Cliff?

It's not what you did to Cliff.

It's what you did to Liberty.

She got really upset and told
Cory, which got Cory upset.

When Cliff asked
why they were upset,

they told him and
he went ballistic.

Where is he?

They took him outside
to try to calm him down.

You know, he just met Liberty.

Who'd think he'd
be so protective?

He's such a sweetie.

Sweetie.

But I guess when something upsets
your bride the day of her wedding, it...

I didn't mean to cause
anybody any trouble.

Then, why did you lead
Liberty on like that?

I wasn't leading her on.

I mean, it wasn't an
intentional deception.

It more kind of... oh.

You're under a lot of
pressure, aren't you?

Yeah.

Well, sometimes under pressure
things can be very confusing.

Liberty is a wonderful girl,

but sometimes
she can become a bit forceful.

That's one way of putting it.

Well, that can make things
difficult and unclear.

You know, a man really shouldn't
go off exploring new waters

until he's completely
sure he hasn't explored

all the waters on his own shore.

Now, women, we're a very
complicated group of people.

And I would hate to see you
reject Liberty just because you

didn't understand
everything a woman do.

You know? I... I think
I'm recovered. Thanks.

Oh, you're... your lip or...

Maybe I should still
put the ice on it.

I can hold it myself.

No, that's what women are for.

No, really. It would be better if I just...

Oh my god, I am so sorry.

Let me get... maybe you should.

I shouldn't be in there.

I'm gay, but I shouldn't
be touching that... your...

It's OK.

It's... huh?

It's OK.

Are you satisfied?

You break up with me, you
ruin my best friend's wedding,

and now you got Cliff ready
to tear his best friend apart.

Mom, you've got to do
something. He may kill him.

Calm down, Cory. Cliff's
not going to kill his best friend.

No, I've never seem
him like this before.

I think maybe he never
knew Wes was gay.

Yeah, that can be shocking
when you think you know someone.

I never meant to...

- Save it.
- OK.

If you want to be helpful, why don't you go
upstairs and make sure nobody gets hurt.

At least that's what
a real man would do.

Ah, Jacob.

Threesome?

I thought you locked the door?

You don't see a thing.

I think he sees just fine.

Yeah, but he's not going
to tell anybody, right?

Why shouldn't he tell anyone?

I told you, I'll
take care of it.

Well, you better.

I'm running out of ways to
make you insanely jealous.

Jake, what's going on?

Are they all right?

Yeah. You know,
they're working it out.

Oh, thank god.

They wouldn't want you see.
You don't want to go in there.

You know what? He's right.
Let's just let them work it out.

Hon, you haven't even
shown me your dress yet.

Don't worry about it.

Jake will keep an eye on them.

Still feeling left out, Jacob?

The girls want me to keep watch on
you, make sure you don't hurt each other.

So Cory doesn't
suspect anything?

Not yet.
But if you keep this up...

Perhaps you could
lock the door?

It doesn't matter
what she suspects.

You're going to tell her about us
and call off this ridiculous wedding.

Wes, you know the
situation that I'm in.

I don't believe this.

I've tried to
make myself clear.

You're the one that I love, but
if I'm going to have a career.

I mean, come on, Wes.

- You heard the rumors.
- Yes.

And if you want to continue to
be the hunk of "Primose Plaza,"

the world has to
think you're straight.

Exactly.

Screw exactly.

Look, everything's
going to work out fine.

Cory knows I've got a busy
career with a lot of obligations.

She's going to give me space.

There will be plenty
of time for us.

I'm not a hobby.

I'm not promising to be there
waiting for you every... oh.

Every time that you
have a spare moment.

I really don't
need to see this.

Of course, if you, uh...
Continue in this... mm... course.

Ah...

Cliff, is everything OK?

Cliff.

Oh my god.

Jake, you couldn't have
waited till after the wedding?

Where's Cliff?

Cliff?

He's... Cory, you should
know that Cliff is...

I'll bite it off, I swear it.

That Cliff is in the bathroom.

You get out of there.

I want to see your face
when I tear it to shreds.

Libby, you don't mean that.

Yes, I do. I bring him all the way
here and he...

Oh, you coward.

Open the damn door.

She's a mad woman.
You got to hide me.

Why?
She's out to kill me, not you.

Oh.
That's right.

Never mind.

Open this door, Jake.
I'll break it down.

You know I can.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't know.

That's what you get for
involving yourself with a woman.

They're very emotional.

Open the damn door!

No kidding.

You should try switching to men.

You'd do really well.

You look gay enough.

I do not look gay!

I...

My patience has ended.

The door's opening now, Jake.

By your hand or my foot.

Your call.

Bad call.

Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you
with all the water running in there.

Cory, uh, what's
all the commotion?

Jake.

Running won't save you, Jake.

Do I look gay?

No.

Just tall.

Would you care
for any assistance?

Yeah, that would
be a good idea.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

That's a nice camera.

Take any interesting shots?

No, not really.

All I wanted was front page
on our little town weekly.

I mean, I didn't know
Cliff Barker was gay.

Frannie just said that
she head from the Crandles

that they saw him walk
into the Lindrosses.

What am I supposed to just knock
on the door and ask for a picture?

I don't know.

I spend most of my time shooting two
year olds that have fingers up their noses.

Not that I don't like kids, but it
can be a little tedious, you know?

So I figure I can break into journalism
with a nice, little candid of Cliff Barker.

Maybe in his underwear.

I didn't know he was gay.

So now here I am with this roll of film
that the tabloids would pay a fortune for

and could probably give me a
start in a whole new career.

Am I supposed to just sit on it?

I don't know. I mean, it's not like
I'm in the business of outing people.

But don't I have the
right to a career?

My name is Jake.

Melissa, but call me Mel.

Jake, you're alive.

Yeah. Well, she never really
caught up with me yet. Is she around?

Jake Waverly.

Libby, I am so sorry.
It's like it wasn't me up there.

Please forgive me.
It won't happen again.

That's correct.

Uh, hi, I'm Melissa Stevens,
but you can call me Mel.

I'm the wedding photographer.

She was having a little trouble
finding... finding the house.

So I... well, I
headed her down here.

I'm just trying to help.

I really do want to make up
for any trouble I caused.

That is so sweet.
See? He's sorry, Libby.

Very.

One thing though, we never
hired a wedding photographer.

I mean, Cliff didn't want any pictures
by a stranger that might end up in a...

Cliff is the one who hired her.

Didn't he tell you?

Now.
No, Cliff never mentioned it.

What didn't I mention?

That you hired a photographer.

I never hired a photographer.

I guess you must have
been looking for a man.

Always.

But when you hired
Mel Stevens, that's me.

We should have spoken sooner
on the phone or something.

But, um, anyways, it's a
pleasure to be working for you,

Mr. Barker.

I don't think
you realize that...

Cliff, this is the
photographer you hired.

Believe me, you want her
to be your photographer.

Uh, you know, babe?

I never discussed the
exact terms with Mel.

And, uh, I didn't want
to bore you with all the,

um... hey, have you
shown Libby your dress?

Yeah.
Well, she started to, but then...

Oh, well you really
got to see it.

I mean, it is just gorgeous.
Yeah.

OK, let's let them
handle the photographer.

Bye.

Can't miss this.

All right, what
is the game, Jake?

Listen, I could have been
on a train and out of here.

I'm doing you guys a favor.

Makes us even.

Nobody asked you to...

All right, can we stick with
the matter at hand, please?

What is with Miss Shutterbug?

It's Mel Stevens.

And it would be an honor to
photograph your wedding, Mr. Barker.

Where would these
photos end up?

It's not a matter of where
those photos end up as

much as it is a matter of
where these photos end up.

See, Mel here is not only an
attractive and skilled photographer.

She... she's also an accomplished
climber under roofs,

like the one outside
the upstairs bedroom.

What exactly did you
see from that roof, Mel?

You're both very impressive.

You sneaky little bitch.

Oh, so the tabloids can run an
assault story as well as a gay story?

Typical breeder move.

So despite what you guys think,
I'm not just some ruthless bitch.

Nobody said you're ruthless.

Much more likely ruthful than
ruthless, wouldn't you say, Jacob?

I don't know.
I think she could be ruthless.

No, no, no.
But I don't want to be ruthless.

I mean, look, I can make 10
times as much for these photos

as I could for any wedding
spread in a magazine.

But at least it would be a good paycheck
and a start on a respectable new career.

And it's exactly what you want.

Don't you see, Cliff?

You get a gorgeous spread of you
in all your heterosexual glory.

Heterosexual glory, hallelujah.

Plus, you'll get a
great wedding album.

Your bride will love it.

All right, so you
shoot the wedding.

Cory gets an album, and then
you get a sale to a magazine.

And you get this little roll of
film right after the wedding.

See?

Everybody wins.

Everybody wins.

You're not staying
for the wedding?

No, I don't think that
would be an intelligent move.

Why not?

Well...

Why were you on that roof?

Oh, the, um...
Well, Liberty, she...

She had a misunderstanding
which led her to...

In a way that really wasn't
conduc... conducive to...

And, um... well, I figured
given the circumstances,

I saw an opportunity.

The roof.

I figured, um... well,
that's where I met you.

Lucky for everyone.

Certainly lucky for me.

So, um, you have to
leave right away?

Yeah, I've got to
make a train at 5:00.

Oh, I won't be needing
much help past then, anyway.

Help?
Help?

Help?

Yeah, help.

I mean, lugging this stuff in for me
was really nice and helpful and all that.

But I wasn't exactly planning
on shooting a wedding today.

It's kind of hard to do all by
yourself at the last minute, you know?

Would I really be a help?

Sure.

I guess I did
get you into this.

You did.

My god, look at my hair.

I know.
Look how long mine was.

Remember how my dad would
never let me cut it?

Only half an inch.

God, you sure haven't
changed much in this room.

Well, I'm hardly ever here.

And you know my mom likes
to pretend I'm still 18.

Yeah, so she can
pretend she's still 40.

Well, I bet this is one thing
Cliff wish you would change.

Oh, we sleep fine there.

For sleep, yeah.
But...

Actually, we haven't done it.

Yeah, well, here.

Your mom's house right
before the wedding.

I guess it would be kind of romantic
to hold off till the wedding night.

No.
I mean, we haven't done it ever.

Ever?

It's just, you know, with
all that's been going on.

Cory, that's what's
supposed to be going on.

When I date a guy, we do
it a few times a week.

Sometimes a day.

Hell, Jake and I even had a double
over the weekend and he's gay.

I wonder how that works.

He's got to be bi, you think?

Yeah.

Here it is.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Cliff's going to love it.

- You want to help me?
- Sure.

What are you doing?

The dress is great.

You're going to look
beautiful, radiant, the works.

We got to figure out what
you're going to wear tonight.

But the photographer...

Let me see.

Well, it's kind of
sexy, but very basic.

So... you have any teddies?

That isn't what
you meant, is it?

You don't have any teddies?

Well, how about
a sexy nightgown?

Not really.

Come on, you've got to give
me something to work with here.

Wait, I do have this.

Uh, that could work
for Carol Brady.

I'm sorry, Lib.

I've just never given much
importance to this stuff.

And you're the one marrying Cliff Barker
and I'm being dumped by yet another guy.

Jake didn't dump you.

He just realized he had to
be honest about who he is.

It's a dump.

They're all dumps.

Jake comes out of the closet.

Steve has to relocate.

Jeff feels inferior.

It's me, right?

I'd like to think it's them,
but... I do the aerobics.

I learned how to cook.

Shouldn't things be better?

They will be, Lib.

It's just the
pressure, you know?

Everybody expects my
life to be perfect.

I've got looks, a career.

I went to this
self-help weekend once.

And when I stood up to tell my
problems, they sent me home.

Refund and everything because
I didn't have any problems.

My mom, my relatives,
they don't fix

me up with a nice,
single doctor.

No, Liberty's focusing
on her career.

She'd be married if
she wanted to be.

Yeah, like I just snap my fingers
and anything I want comes to me.

Did you really want Jake?

No.

I don't think so.

I just wanted to bring a
boyfriend to your wedding.

Some maid of honor I am.

No, no.
It's OK.

I mean, this wedding isn't
one of those big affairs.

We can plus one it till next
week when you feel better.

You would do that for me?

Yeah.

Cory.

You're the most wonderful friend
and the most stupid bride.

You're getting married today.

And I'm the happiest person
in the whole world for you.

All we need are the people.

Cool.
Oh, well, I'll go get them.

Photographer's ready. If you're
dressed, you can just head on down.

Everything's set.

Just come on down
if you're ready.

Hello?

Mrs. Lindross?

It's Rita, Jake.

You know that.

It's, um... Rita,
the, uh, camera.

Downstairs.

Woman.

Mel.

The photographer?

The photographer, right.

She's, um... she's ready
to start taking pictures.

But I think she's going
to want you clothed.

And how would you want me?

Want you?

Want you!

Um, I'm just... I'm going
to check on the others.

Who is it?

Jake.

The photographer is... what?

That's the man who
can do us some good.

We need your opinion
on what looks sexy.

Me?
But I'm, uh...

Gay, yeah.
We've heard.

Are you sure you're not bi?

No, I'm straight.
Gay.

Straight gay down the line.

Well, you guys know better
than anyone what looks good.

Will that get Cliff's attention
on their wedding night?

Yeah, I would... I guess a
straight guy would, um... there.

It's lovely.

Well, how about this one?

Oh, don't worry about him,
just one of the girls.

Is this one better?

No, I'd go with the first.

You really ought to
get into your dresses.

There's only so much time for photographs
before the guests start to arrive.

I'll just tell the photographer
you'll be a few minutes.

Oh.

Ooh.

There certainly are a lot
of doors to these rooms.

Yes, there are.

But that's... that's
a lovely ensemble.

Well, thank you, Jake.

Um, so the
photographer is ready?

Yes, yes, yes.

She's all set.

Well then.

Oh.

Ah!

Oh, Jake.

You're happy to see me.

I can feel it.

You know, that's an
involuntary muscle.

You can't tell it what to do.

It has it's own, uh,
inner course of action.

You know, um... if an older
woman like me supposedly

past her prime can get a reaction
like that, then a young girl like Liberty.

Rita, you are not
past your prime.

You are an attractive,
vibrant woman.

You really think so, Jake?

Yeah.

Mrs. Lind... uh, Rita?

It's Liberty.

This doesn't look good.

No.
No, no.

No, it doesn't.

I was just wondering...
I hate to bother you,

but, um, I thought
that maybe... see,

it's about what
Cory's going to wear.

Uh-huh.

A problem with the dress?

Uh, no, no, no.
The dress is fine.

It's just, you know, what
she's going to wear tonight.

Because it's her and
Cliff's first night.

I thought that maybe you might
have something that she could borrow?

Um, you mean, something more...

Yeah, you know, kind of...

Me?

Yes, you.

Possibly.

Well, can we take a look?

Um, yeah.

Go ahead, honey.

Um, have a look for yourself.

No, I really... I don't
want to disturb you.

No, go ahead, disturb.

No, really.
I wouldn't feel right.

All right. I'll look, but
you stay right here.

Dammit, why did you have
to come out of the closet?

Any particular color?

Oh, well, red is usually good.

Uh, scarlet or crimson, honey?

Uh, scarlet.

Rose or cherry?

Uh, cherry, I guess,
if you have it.

Rita.

Oh.

Oh, excuse me, honey.

Would this help?

Sorry.

I am so sorry.

I was just... oh, god.

Oh, god.
I should have been...

I, I, I... they weren't ready
and I was trying to, um...

Thanks.

For?

Everything.

I never checked
on Wes and Cliff.

Hey.

OK, so, um, put your
hands in your pockets.

Good. Not that far down
your pockets. Come on.

Well, you know, since
they're in the neighborhood.

OK, I need you guys to
turn a little to the right.

The other right.

I want to do profile shots, OK?

Good. Good. Jake, you know what?

Can you move that reflector
a little more to the left, please?

Perfect.

We're over here.

Ne'er have I seen true
beauty till this night.

Wes, you don't have to
stand quite that close.

Just showing that the
groom's got my full support.

All right. All right,
all right. That's it.

I think they got enough
pictures of the two of us.

Cory, that wasn't anything.

We were just like...

No, I think it's sweet
the way you guys play.

I mean, I was a little worried
from this morning, but...

We have a very
strong friendship.

And I don't intend to let this
marriage damage it one bit.

Thank god.

I want us all to
be friends, too.

OK, this is all very wonderful, but, uh,
we have a lot to do before the guests arrive.

So Cory, come with me.

Stand by the thingy.

And Cliff, next to her.

Come on.

And you, I'm sorry?

Liberty. Liberty,
next the Cory. Good.

Is your mom ready yet, Cory?

Oh, uh, she'll be
down in a minute.

New career in photography?

There's just no end to what we've
learned about you this weekend.

And Wes, you stand over...
I think that's close enough.

OK, smile.

Wow, that... that
seemed to go well.

Yeah, you make a
great assistant.

You make a lousy liar.

I'm going to go
in and call a cab.

I'll be back in a minute.

Great.
I'll be here.

Where'd you get that
photographer from?

Uh, she was, um... Well, we were a
little short on time and stuff. So, uh...

Through the mail.

The mail?

Yes, pretty much
through blackmail...

An ad in the mail.

Huh.

Out of the blue.

Just kind of had a
good feeling about her.

I don't think she
knows what she's doing.

I mean, what's with Mr. Sock?

And Jake just distracts her.

I hope she gets a couple
more good shots of Cory.

Do you think you guys could keep
Jake busy for a little while?

Hi, I need a cab?

Oh, uh, I'd say 4:40.

It's only a five-minute ride from
the Station to the train station, right?

OK. Well then, yeah,
my train is at 5:00.

Yeah, 4:40 would be great.

OK, so I'll see you in front of... um,

81 Keaton Lane... uh, Drive.

Road.

Thank you, of course, road.

Uh, all right.
So 4:40 in front.

Thanks a lot.
Bye.

Plotting your
final escape, Jake?

Uh.

I can't say we'll
miss you, Jake.

But you made it interesting.

Likewise.

You guys are done. So is... is
Mel... Mel's outside shooting the girls.

Great.
Well, I just need to...

Haven't you broken
enough hearts today?

Let her do her job.

Cory's supposed to get
an album out of this deal.

Remember, Jake?

Right. Well, I need...
I need to help her.

She'll manage.

What do you say we help you get
your things ready for the train, Jake?

My things? I've got
a. It's like this big.

Yeah. Well, you know what? I need
something to help keep me busy right now.

And Jake can tell us all
about sneaker infrastructure.

He's an expert in the field.

Really?

Yeah. OK, look at his shoes,
for example. The laces?

- Right. - Totally redundant. - Redundant?

You could be just as
comfortable without laces.

Redundant laces?

Because the laces are just there
to keep the thing...

OK, just one more.

Smile.

OK, we're done.

So I'm going to take lots of
candids when the guests arrive.

Of course I'll shoot the ceremony, but
that's enough with the posed shots for now.

Oh, thank you so much.

I'm really looking forward
to seeing your work.

Thanks. Thanks for
the vote of confidence.

You'll get to see everything
after your honeymoon.

Oh, great.

Now, did you get a lot of my daughter
without anybody else around? All alone?

Oh, yeah, I got tons of
them before you came down.

Good.

Now when the guests arrive,
they'll be a pretty lady, tall, attractive.

Uh, that's my sister Julie.

And she'll be with her husband,
also tall, very charismatic.

You'll want to take lots
of pictures of them.

Sounds like they'd be easy to...

- Don't.
- Don't?

Don't.

Done.

Oh, uh, why aren't you dressed?

The guests will be
arriving any minute.

I can't stay, Rita.

It wouldn't be right.

Oh, nonsense.

Everybody wants you to stay.

Especially Liberty.

I'll go talk to her.

Now, don't you go anywhere.

I'm sorry. After my
phone call, the guys took me upstairs.

No, it's OK, really.
The rest of the shoot went fine.

Good.

Um, I do have to leave soon,
but I really want us to...

Well, it was a pleasure meeting
you and, uh, thanks for all your help.

OK.

Did I do something?

No.
No, you know what?

It's my fault.

I just pushed. And from
the way you acted, I just...

I must have misread the
signs and didn't realize.

That?

That you're gay.

Oh, that.

The girls told you?

Yeah.
Libby, actually.

I guess I should have
known from the roof?

But hey, I just thought
you were joking.

I wasn't exactly concentrating given the
fact that I was hanging from my fingertips.

But I just thought
the way we were...

You know, that we
sort of had something.

And I don't know.

I tend to be a romantic and... I
guess it's no excuse for just...

Mel.

You got me this great
job and everything.

And I was just hoping that
you felt about me the way...

Mel...
Melissa.

Listen to me, I'm not gay.

By choice.

It's... it's just
the way that I am.

It's nothing personal about...

You see, you're really... oh,
the hell with this.

Listen, just stay here. I've
got to go straighten myself out.

They wanted a little privacy.

I didn't drag you here.

You could have said no.

Oh, great. You could have beaten
me in the office instead of here.

It was Wes' idea, anyway.

Yeah. Well, what about
you under the covers?

That wasn't me. That wasn't
me the way that you think it was.

Oh, and I suppose...

Look, Libby, I
am sorry for the lies.

But I swear to god I'm
telling you the truth now.

I am not gay.

Libby, Libby, Libby.

Crap.

Oh, god.
Look what you did.

Me?
You were the one ducking.

Mel, are you OK?

Gay, not.

Hey.

She's passed out.
She could really be hurt.

She'll be OK.
She's just stunned.

What's all the... what
happened to the photographer?

Liberty slugged her.

Honey.

I mean, maybe her poses
weren't flattering.

But your temper, you got...

No, you don't understand.

I was trying to hit Jake.

Oh.

Why?

Because he's not gay.

I can see how you
might become confused.

No, you don't
understand, he's...

For sake, what
the hell's going on in here?

What happened to Mel?
Is she all right?

She'll be fine.

It was Jake's fault.

Me.
I...

Jake, haven't you caused
enough trouble for one day?

Every time I turn around...
She was trying to hit me.

Oh, please.

You guys have serious
issues to work out.

Every time I turn around,
somebody's taking a shot at me.

You want to hit me again?
No, hit him.

Just do me a favor and hit
somebody else for five minutes.

It's a nice house. I'm surprised you don't
have an infirmary somewhere around here.

What are you doing?
Get your hands off of her.

I am a doctor.

Is he a doctor?

Yes.

I'm trying to treat this poor girl
who's quite clearly had a concussion.

Concussion?

Oh my god.
Should we call an ambulance?

No, no.
We don't need an ambulance.

I mean, it would ruin it... With the
guests arriving. She'll be OK, won't she?

I'm not sure yet.

Oh, this is terrible.
We should call off the wedding.

No, we don't need to call off the
wedding. Let's let Wes handle it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
let's let Wes handle it.

Jake, my bag is in the bedroom
upstairs. Would you get it, please?

Yeah, sure.

Liberty, see if you can
find some small towels.

Wet them with cold water.

Got it.

Yeah, you'll be all right.

There, that didn't hurt.

You really think she'll be OK?

Yeah, sure.

I've seen stuntman get
knocked out on the set,

and then all of in a sudden... they're back
up and they're ready to go for the next take.

So we'll still be able to
have the ceremony today?

Yeah.
The ceremony.

The honeymoon.

The breezes in Jamaica, man.

I'm looking forward to that.

Aw.

Are you glad we waited?

No.

But just a few more hours
and you're all mine.

Hey, best man.

Is Mel OK?

She's fine.
She's, uh, resting now.

I think I'll go and
see how she's doing.

Oh, you have the rings, right?

Right here.

Great.

Can't get married
without rings, right?

You're really a much better actor
than the critics give you credit for.

She's got to have the
weakest chin in the world.

How long is she
going be out for?

As long as it takes.

Oh, for god sakes.

What are you doing?
You're going to...

See?
That's how you do it.

They must you at China shops.

Oh, fine.

Jake.

I'm here.

You OK?

You ducked, didn't you?

Yeah.

Um, see with... with Libby, I
didn't know you were there.

She was a little upset, you
know, with the gay, not gay thing.

You know Libby.

Um, when I told her
I wasn't gay, she...

Oh, fabulous day.

See?

I told you it was a dump.

I need a drink.

Oh, with the
ceremony in an hour?

You're right, but
I am really tense.

Well, we still have the sauna.

Do I have time?

Yeah, I think so.
Come on.

This is not an act.

I care about Cory.

You should.

She's a terrific girl.

And that's coming from someone
who's not overly fond of the species.

She deserves better than
the lies you're giving her.

Well, I'll make her happy.

You can't.
Not for long.

You're the one always
quoting Shakespeare.

Think of the line from "Hamlet."

What, to be... what, you
think I should kill myself?

No.

"To thine own self be true."

Oh, that one.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Call off the wedding? The guests
are going to be here in about an hour.

A few aunts, uncles, and
a judge. They'll get over it.

What about Cory?

What about that
photographer with that film?

If she doesn't have a wedding
spread to sell the magazine...

Wait a minute.
Is that?

Mm-hmm.

How did you get that?

Just reached down and took it.

When she was out?

Mm-hmm.

Oh.
Sometimes you can be so...

It's not like I enjoyed it.

I did it for you.

For us.

You don't have to marry her now.

Wes, I am not the first
gay guy to get married.

OK?
People do it all the time.

Besides, you knew from day one
that this was a possibility.

I'm marrying Cory.

It's what I got to do.

To hell with everyone else.

No.

I don't think so.

Are you sure you
should be doing this?

- No.
- No?

No, but you know what? I've gotten so
many color pictures already that I just...

No, no. I mean, you
just had a concussion.

- A concussion?
- Yeah.

Nah, it's just a little bump
on the chin. I'll be fine, really.

All I need to do is...

Whoa, Mel.

How's that for a
smooth move, huh?

You are destabilizing.

Hm, I think I like that.

God, my cab is going
to be here in a minute.

Do you really have to go?

Yeah.

I have a meeting with,
um... it's about sneakers

and a new concept
in infrastructure.

Boy, I really can't
explain this now.

It's... it's big.

Then, you go.

Come on.

You can shoot the
rest on your own?

I could have shot the
whole thing on my own,

but it was a lot more
fun having you help.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You sure you feel OK?

I'm fine.
I feel fine.

I'm all set up to shoot
the rest of the ceremony,

and I've still got this wicked little roll
of film, not that I need... it's not here.

Are you sure?

- Sure, I'm sure.
- Well, did you lose it?

There's not that
much room in here.

Then?

Somebody took it.

Bug.
Big bug.

Yes, I'm familiar with them.

Listen, gay or not, you had no
business sticking your hand down there.

Down where?

I was going to give you guys
the roll of film, anyway.

Come on, I know you now.
I wouldn't blackmail you.

Well, we couldn't
take the chance.

And I apologize
for the intrusion.

Uh, don't worry about it.

So, um, what'd you do
with the film anyway?

Gave it to Cliff.

He's going to
destroy it, isn't he?

Well, there are a few shots I'd
hope he blow up for enlargements.

But no accounting for
his tastes these days.

Dammit. It was some
of my best work, too.

Oh, that's my cab.

Come on, I guess
I'll walk you out.

It's been memorable.

It certainly has, Jacob.

Hey, what you got there?

Uh, it was just... the rings.

Can I see them?

Please, please, please?

We really shouldn't.

Come on. I've been dying to see them.

Would you show her. It's not
the rings. It's just an envelope.

What's this bumpy thing?

It's personal.

And I think I just have enough time before
ceremony to mail it in the box on the road.

Have a nice life, Jake.

What's he mailing to
"The National Enquirer?"

Oh my god, it's my film.

Come back here, Wes. You can't
do that. I made a deal with Cliff.

But I didn't.

Oh, come on, Wes.
That's... Whoa.

Ow.

No, no, no.
You've got a train to catch.

But the... the film?

That's my problem. You've
done enough already. Call me.

- Excuse me.
- Is there a problem?

Uh, no.
I just, um, need some air.

Oh, good.

Gorgeous out there, isn't it?

You always have to be so careful
when you're planning an outdoor event.

But I think we got
lucky, don't you?

Yes, it's lovely.

Oh, you're looking much better.

You know, you gave
us quite a scare.

Oh, yeah.
I'm fine now.

Good, because I was
wondering, maybe you

could take some pictures of me with
my daughter outside in the backyard?

Oh, fine idea.
I'll go check the light.

Good.
I'll go get Cory.

Great.

Whoa.
Whoa.

OK?

Hey.

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

Hey, Jake.

You got a damsel
in distress there.

You're going to miss
your train, buddy.

Come on.

I thought you were catching the
5 o'clock train out of town.

I was.

That's why I'm going
to kill you now.

You can have the
ceremony here if you like.

But I was just
wondering... honey,

maybe you should consider
having it over there.

I mean, it would be so lovely
with the sunset behind you.

What do you think?

Well, if you want it
over there, that's...

Oh, no, honey,
it's what you want.

Where's Mel?

It's not that.

Well then, what is it, honey?

I don't know.
It's... it's the mood.

There's been so much
tension today. The fight.

Honey, everything's just fine.

You're dealing with some very
volatile personalities, that's all.

I mean, you know how Liberty is.

And Cliff's an actor.

They're very emotional people.

He just hasn't seemed at
ease since Wes arrived.

Well, honey, Wes is his best friend
and he doesn't have any real family.

He's probably nervous
about what Wes thinks.

Maybe.
But sometimes I think...

Careful!

You'll get your dress dirty.

Oh, honey, everybody's
feeling fine.

I mean, now that everything's
straightened out with Jake,

and the photographer's
conscious.

Everybody's going to be a
lot more relaxed and at ease.

Or maybe not.

Men, even at weddings they're
still such little boys.

I'll just go get my camera.

You do that.

Cory, I'm going to take
a sauna like you said.

But I promise, I'll be showered
and dressed before the guests arrive.

Good.

I'm so sorry you
missed your train.

Oh.

So am I. I couldn't let your
photos get used that way.

Thanks.

Listen. They're waiting for me out
back, so could you give this to Cliff for me?

Sure.

Cliff, quick! Grab
him! He stole the film.

Grab him.
Don't let him get away!

"National Enquirer?"

You lying bastard.

No.
Cliff, we were.

I tried to get it back myself. I didn't
want to upset you right before the ceremony.

Thanks. That's was
very thoughtful of you.

No, Cliff..

You shut up.
You just shut up.

Give me the film.
I'll put it somewhere safe.

Thanks.

God, you actors really
are as dumb as people say.

We weren't mailing it
to the tabloids, he was!

What's all the... have a
nice game of touch football?

You let me in, Wes.

Come on, there's now
where for you to go.

What the hell is going on here?

It's, uh, just a game.

Sort of a groom/best man thing.

Well, stop it.

That's sort of a
maid of honor thing.

Open the god damn door.

Cory's had enough
to upset her today.

Libby, are you in there?

Open the door.

Open the door, Lib.
Libby, open it.

No.
No, no.

I'm not playing your game.

Wes.

And what's with the envelope?

It's, uh, nothing.

Let me see it.

It's not good.
He locked that door, too.

Wes, open the god damn door.

Calm down, it's not
like he's going anywhere.

The window.

Come on.

Wes.

I'm being nice and civil here,
now let me see the envelope.

It's none of your concern.

You'd be amazed what a
concerned individual I am.

Oh, you crazy... if
I wasn't a doctor...

Yeah, sure.

Oh, now look what you've done.

Baby.

Where'd he go?

Oh.

I think he went out the window.

Well, he better have wings
because when I find him,

I'm going to...

No, Cliff.

You go out the window.

We certainly rang
Liberty's bell.

She lives by the sword.

Something about this film that seems to cause
any woman who has it to end up unconscious.

For safety sake, I
better get rid of it.

Cliff, what's the matter?

Um, nothing.
Um, everything's fine.

Have you seen Wes?

Well, he went that way a
few minutes ago with Jake.

- But since then?
- No.

Did you guys have a fight?

Uh, not really.

You did. He's not going
to be your best man.

Oh, god. Does he have the
rings? Did he take the rings?

We can't get married
without the rings.

Honey, it doesn't matter.

They're just a symbol,
aren't they, Cliff?

Uh, right.
Right.

Um, everything's
going to be fine.

We're going to get
married no matter what.

What does that mean?

I'll explain in a minute.

I'll go keep an eye on him.

But... come on, I want to
find out what's going on.

No.

This way, it's faster
through the house.

Cliff, he's out in front.

And I'm on the roof.

That should make
for a soft landing.

Oh.

Weren't you leaving?

I am.

Not another step, or
the mailbox gets it.

Wes, don't do this to me.

This is my whole career.

Your career?

And that makes everything you're
doing OK because it's for your career?

It's a terrible thing
you'd be doing, Wes.

Oh, really, a terrible thing?

What do you think, Jake?

You must have a thought
on what I a villain I am.

You, who dropped his
girlfriend on the spot

when it meant getting to a
business meeting on time.

And Miss Photographer
who took these pictures

and planned on doing just what
I am, but simply for money.

And you, my love, would marry a
sweet young girl whom you can't

possibly give the
love she deserves.

Yes, you three are standing here
telling me what an evil thing I'm doing.

I'm the only one doing
the honest thing.

I'm the only one doing
what I really believe in.

And it's not for my career.

It's for love.

Please don't.

I don't know what that is, but
it's obviously going to hurt Cliff.

And I don't want him
hurt anymore today.

Anymore?

Cliff, I can't marry you.

- Are you...
-No, no. It's all been too fast.

You're a great guy, and I got all caught
up in the wedding thing, but I'm not ready.

We're not ready.

I know.

You know?

I know.

- Does Cliff know you know?
- No. And I don't want him to know.

- No?
- No.

Are you OK?

I'm fine.

How about you?

I'm a little disappointed and
a complete mess, but I'm fine.

Everything's going
to be just fine.

Here you go, Jacob.

You wanted it so badly.

Well, it doesn't look like she'll
be selling any big wedding spread.

And I don't need to.

So, what time did you say
that meeting of yours was?

9:00.

Well, I do have a car and
nothing to keep me here.

It's over 200...

if we drove...

we just might make it.

- We just might.
- Come on.

Jake.

Jeff, you just missed him.

No, I have no idea
where he went.

Yeah, I guess I
could take a message.

Tonight's meeting is cancelled.

What meeting?

Now, where could that have... ah.

Never know when this
might come in handy.