My Geisha (1962) - full transcript

Good morning, Mr Lewis,
Miss Dell's in the playroom, sir,

Morning, George, I'll find her,

Very good,

Not ladylike, but good,

Hello, Sam,

Did you find out
where the genius is going?

Nope, He won't tell me anything,

The two of them are in there mumbling,

And every time I try to listen,
they shut up,

Well, we'll find out in a minute,

- Second location, yeah?
- But look at the potential,,,



Hi, Sam,

Sam, how are you?

I think I'm fine,
I'll know better after I hear your story,

You're gonna love it, Sam, Love it,

All this mystery, I know what it is,

It's another Western,

And how do you know it's a Western?

'Cause I looked in your closet,

And I see you're taking
your hiking boots,

I always take those boots
when I go on location,

Well, then it's a picture set in Alaska,

Why Alaska?

Because I saw your finger on the map
before you snatched it away,

Well, you're getting warmer,
Keep trying,



I'm not interested,

I probably won't like it, anyway,

Did it ever occur to you
that being your wife

is no guarantee
I'm doing every story you dream up?

Think about that for a while,
Herr Director,

Now, now, no talk like that,

It's a good story, You'll like it,

How do you know, Sam?
You haven't even heard it yet,

My nose tells me,

I smell enthusiasm,

Look at their faces,
Like a couple of kids with a new toy,

I smell a hit,

I smell his part's gonna be
fatter than mine,

May I say, it is about time?

Lt'll be rewritten,

Never happen, Not this part,

Now, enough already,

Save the suspense for the picture,
Let me hear something,

Sit down, Sam,

- Are you ready?
- Yes, I'm ready,

Good,

We are going to do

Madame Butterfly.

Madame Butterfly?

I know what you think,

but it's a wonderful love story, Sam,

And through the story, I want to capture
the real traditional Japan,

Picture it, Sam,
All shot in natural settings,

It's a country of yellow and red lacquer,

It was made for colour film,

And that score,
it has international appeal,

Well, I don't know,

I play Lieutenant Pinkerton,

Of course, it's magnificent casting,
I'm ideal for the part,

And I walk around
on those little wooden shoes

and go chop, chop, chop, huh?

You're not in the picture, Lucy,

She's not?

I'm not?

No, you're not,

I'm going to use a real Japanese girl,

That's the kind of picture
it's going to be, real,

Not just an opera, but real,

Well, that's a surprise,

And a very unpleasant surprise,

Now, look here, Paul,
I'm going to talk plainly,

Lucy is the biggest single
box-office attraction we have,

Now, when you said Madame Butterfly,

I thought you had a comic version

that would allow her to be funny,
to be a clown,

- Well, I haven't,
- To do the thing that she's famous for,

- I haven't,
- Well,,,

And Lucy in the part of
Madame Butterfly would be offensive,

Well, that's a nice word,

No, you are a great comic, Lucy,
and a great artist,

but the role of Madame Butterfly
is outside your range,

Outside, my foot!

It's harder to get laughs
than crying into handkerchiefs,

Get some of those
handkerchief sniffers to try it,

I agree, darling,
but I don't see you in this part,

And, Sam, if you don't care to do it,

I can go ahead with another studio,
and no hard feeling,

Well, I can't make that decision
without talking to New York,

Why do you have to go to Japan
so soon? What's the rush?

Our problem is beating
the rainy season,

We're short of time as it is,

You're not too mad at me,
are you, Lucy?

Not too mad,

I was just thinking where there was
a gun in the house so I could shoot you,

I'm sorry, darling,
but I have to do this picture,

It means more to me than you suspect,

It won't be too long,
I'll call you every day,

If I'd wanted to kiss a telephone
good night, I'd have married one,

The luggage is packed now, sir,

Well, let's get the funeral procession
over with,

Pick me up at my house,
would you, Pauly?

- I might as well be going,
- See you at the airport, Sam?

... via Honolulu is now boarding
at Gate 10.

All aboard, please.

Well, that's you, boys,

You know something, I've kissed Lucy
so often in front of the camera

with him directing me, I'm curious
to see the master himself at work,

Carry on, Here, I'll hold your library,

Take care of yourself,

Get enough rest,

Don't smoke too much,

Think of me,

Day and night, my love,

Well, it's not bad,

A little old-fashioned, perhaps,

My parents used to kiss like that,

Wow,

Well, not exactly like my parents,

or not when I was around, at any rate,

Oh, Paul,

I've sent a long telegram
to Leonard in New York,

I hope he goes along with the idea,

You know you have my vote,

Thanks, Sam,

- Bye, darling,
- Bye, baby,

- Goodbye, Uncle Sam,
- Happy landing,

Well, goodbye, Bob,

- Bye, leading lady,
- Bye,

Bye, lover, Good luck,

Well, tomorrow we find out
if New York likes documentary opera,

That's the worst idea I ever heard of
in my whole life!

Well, it isn't really so terrible, Leonard,
if you stop and think about it,

Madame Butterfly is a masterpiece,
It should be done,

Well, let Sam Goldwyn do it!

Look, look, I like Madame Butterfly.

I'll even pay my $2 and go to see it,

but what I won't do is to pay $2 million

to have Robert Moore
kissing a Japanese girl!

The film public wants to see
Robert Moore kissing you,

And your artistic husband
should know that,

It's out of the question!

I absolutely forbid him to make it!

Tell him another studio might want it,

Leonard, I don't really see
how you can forbid him to make it,

He's only given you first choice,

Another studio wants it,

Now, watch, He can't stand that,

- Put Sam on the phone,
- I can hear you from here,

We can hear you fine, Leonard,

Sam, this is an order,

The film is not to cost
more than a half a million dollars,

That's all a Robert Moore picture
without Lucy is worth!

Now, you go to Japan
and watch every penny,

I hold you responsible!

You can't make it
for a half a million dollars!

He hung up,

Can Madame Butterfly
be done for half a,,,

No!

But in the motion picture business,
a half a million dollars

is roughly $700,000,

Maybe,

Maybe with a little skimping and saving
and me watching the pennies,

we can make it for $800,000,

I better go to Japan right now,

There must be other ways
of making a living,

Fortunately, I don't know any,

Well, I'll be leaving tomorrow

before that husband of yours
starts making contracts

to use all of Japan as extras,

I'll kiss him for you,

Sam,

can I kiss him myself?

Take me with you,
You don't have a picture for me, yet,

And I'll come back
anytime you tell me to,

You miss him already?

Well, maybe you can help,

We'll have to tell him
he has to make a cheap picture,

That won't be easy,

I'll phone you when we leave,

Thank you, Sam,

Now, he hasn't any other studio
to back him,

Once in a while, I don't mind making
a little artistic gamble,

There are other things in life
beside just money,

That's one of them,

Thank you, Sam,

Well, goodbye, darling, I'll phone you,

Thank you,

This is Tokyo tower,

Make straight-in approach to runway 33,

You are cleared to land, Over,

Oh, hello, Mr Takata, How are you?

Fine, Mr Lewis,

It's so nice to see you again
in our country,

Well, it's nice to be back here,

Lucy, this is Mr Kenichi Takata,

- the head of our office in Japan,
- How do you do?

- Miss Lucy Dell,
- How do you do?

I was not informed you were coming,

There would have been the press,

Oh, no, No press is quite all right,

I used a fake name, anyway,
We're surprising my husband,

He will be surprised,

He awaits only Mr Lewis at his hotel,

- This way, please,
- Certainly,

Excuse me a moment,

Lucy, because the plane was late,

Paul and Bob asked me to meet them
at this teahouse restaurant,

So why don't you go upstairs
and freshen up a bit?

I'll go and see the boys,
and then I'll send the car back,

and then you can come in
and really surprise them, How's that?

Stay head of the studio, Sam,
You couldn't be an actor,

What do you mean?

You're afraid I'll catch Paul
with someone, isn't that right?

- Oh, no, no, Not at all,
- Yes, it is,

Well,

I'm not in favour of surprises,

especially out of town,

I had a very bad experience once

with two married stars in Pittsburgh,

There'll never be
a Pittsburgh with us, Sam,

Take my word for it,

I'd bet my life on Paul,

Now let's freshen up,
We'll both surprise him,

Lucy Dell-san,

This is the mama-san,

How do you do?

They will take us to your husband,

- Thank you,
- Miss Dell,

We see your picture often,

- Thank you,
- I have a photograph of you on my wall,

Thank you very much,

You're very big in Japan,

- Thank you,
- Thank you very much,

That's nice,

It's really gorgeous in here,

Charming, isn't it?
What a lovely little bridge, too,

Very lovely, yes,

They've got five dames
waiting on them in there,

I heard it was a man's country,
but this is ridiculous,

More!

Yes, They come and go all evening,

Why that different makeup?

The first one is a waitress,
and the other one is a geisha,

Geisha?

Well, tell them they're wasting their time
on my boy,

Or could it be we're in Pittsburgh?

Lucy, you don't believe that of geisha,
do you?

Certainly you know better than that,

I don't know,
I've heard conflicting stories,

I haven't won one yet,

Do you think this is crooked?

I don't see how,

Maybe they're clairvoyant,

I'll be a monkey's uncle,

What's the monkey's uncle drinking?

Sake, It's rice wine,

They're beautiful,

This is Miss Lucy Dell,

Hello,

Are they wigs, or is that their own hair?

It's a wig,

Wigs,

Could I put on one of those costumes
and make my face white like they do?

Yes,

You might fool him as you walk in,

but first straight look at you,
he'll know you,

- I'll bet you $100,
- All right, you've got it,

Not yet, but I think I will,

The bet's for one good
straight look, okay?

Okay, What comes after?

Then I'm gonna jump in his lap
and give him a big fat kiss

and see how Mr Nonchalant
reacts to that,

It's worth losing just to see,
Don't be long,

Okay,

Hiya, Sam!

- Hi, Paul,
- Hi, Sam,

Pull up your knees and sit down,

Tell me, did you see Lucy
before you left?

We went to the airport together,
She sends her love,

I'll drink to that,

To Lucy, the greatest wife
both sides of the Pacific,

Thank you,

Thank you,

Here?

I make you a beautiful geisha,

Thank you,

This is white makeup,

- I put this on my face?
- Yes,

Like this?

But imagine, Sam,

imagine hearing Puccini's music
over a shot of Fujiyama,

over those beautiful shrines,
over a face like that,

Yes,

lt'll be fabulous,

Oh, brother, I got to stop eating,

My stomach's busting,
and my knees are killing me,

Paul, can't we leave now?

Look, Bob,
we ought to stay another five minutes,

just as a matter of courtesy,

Okay,

By the way, Paul,
I expect the music tomorrow morning,

I want you to listen to it,

They've done a wonderful recording job,

I'm sure you'll like it,

Fine, I want to hear them
as soon as possible,

No, no, no, enough with sake,

Sake, You know, I like sake,

I'm gonna have a couple of cases
sent out to California,

You know, I have to finish casting
before I look for locations,

Well, they certainly should help you
with all the casting,

- Certainly,
- They can be very helpful, I'm sure,

Good, Thank you,

We're overdoing this, aren't we?

I only want to see actors
who speak English, of course,

I understand,

Does that limit my selection?

No, not very much,

Good, Good,

Let's see if my luck has changed any,

No,

Come on,

I win! I knew I'd get the hang of it,

Come on, come on,
young lady, drink up,

I quit while I'm ahead,

I don't want to break my winning streak,

Young lady, do you know

that you were up against
one of the smartest gamblers

who ever floated down the Mississippi?

Floated up, too, which is even harder,

You are so funny,

Thank you, ma'am,
And you're very charming,

And you are very pretty, too, miss,

Thank you,

You know, these people
are very photogenic,

It's their bone structure,
high, full cheeks,

More so than occidentals?

Oh, yeah,

I mean, this girl, for instance,

is a better photographic subject
than, say, Lucy?

Excuse me,

Absolutely,

Well, you're the expert,
I know when I'm licked,

Well,

enough polite, Goodbye, everybody,

Miss, how do you say
goodbye in Japanese?

Sayonara.

Certainly, What's the matter with me?

It's the only word in Japanese
I do know,

It's the only word in Japanese
a lot of people know,

- Yeah,
- Well, sayonara, everybody,

Marlon Brando,

Thank you,

- Go and come back,
- Why?

- Go on and come back,
- All right,

Thank you so much,

Thank you very much, Wonderful,

Thank you so much, Wonderful,

Madame, we'll be back again,

- We had a wonderful time,
- Thank you very much,

Sayonara, you all!

Old Japanese saying,

"Fast pay make fast friends,"

Sam, what chance has Paul got
to make a good picture

on this cheap budget?

Not much,

Tomorrow, I'm going to tell him
he can't shoot it in colour,

lt'll have to be
in glorious black and white,

Without your name on the picture,

we can only spend so much
and no more,

Are you thinking the same thing
I'm thinking?

Exactly, And you'd be great in the part,

I'd love to do it, Sam,

And it'd really be
something different for me,

Without hurting Paul,
how can we talk him into it?

Well, how are you hurting him?

Without you, he has a cheap picture,

black and white,
and without the best opera singers,

With you, the sky is the limit,

Colour, famous singers,

and he could shoot on location
until he's,,, To his heart's content,

So, how are you hurting him?

Well, it's a matter of pride,

He's so sold on using
a real Japanese girl,

Well, then it's false pride,

He couldn't tell you from a Japanese,
and he was six inches from you,

We'll have to do it delicately,

Well, fine, Force him delicately,

How?

Let me do it,

I'll suggest you for the part,

He'll refuse, We'll argue for an hour,

Then I'll say, "Made up as Japanese,
you could fool anyone,"

Sooner or later, take my word for it,

he'll say,
"Oh, no, no, she could never fool me,"

"All right,

"we'll make that the deciding condition,"

After he agrees,
we'll show him we fooled him already,

He'll stick to his bargain,
I know it, I guarantee it,

Sam, are producers born that way,
or do they teach you those things

when you join the studio?

Well, like the man said,
who was asked if he was a communist,

"We're not allowed to tell,"

Well, the local gals
don't come blue-eyed,

so I'll need some contact lenses,

It's all right, We'll send to America

to have a man come down here
and fit you,

Sam, contact lenses
were invented in Japan,

- Really?
- Yes,

Well, live and learn.

Thank you, Very nice,

We also dance,
We do soft-shoe, ballet and classical,

We have a bicycle act,
We could show you,

I ride on my sister's shoulder
and play an ukulele,

It goes over very well,

I'm afraid it would be a little difficult
to fit into Madame Butterfly.

But anyway, thank you very much,
young ladies,

Mr Takata will call you
if we can use you,

- Good morning, Mr Takata,
- Good morning, Mr Lewis,

- Paul in there?
- Yes, Please come in,

Thank you,

Morning, Paul,

Hello, Sam,
That's all, Takata, thank you,

- All right,
- How did you sleep?

Fine, I'm all caught up,
How are you making out?

I've seen 30 girls this morning,

Ukulele acts on bicycles
and rock 'n' roll singers,

They're more western
than the girls at home,

I knew there was an American tendency,

but they are making a fetish of it,

They're not Japanese anymore,

Look at them,

I felt this problem
when I got off the plane

and saw the neon signs,

That's just why I want to do this picture,

I want to capture that
other spirit of Japan while it still exists,

Sam, the mistake I have made

was thinking I should use
a Japanese actress,

Well, I'm glad to hear you say that,

Why?

Because I've come to recommend
an American actress,

- Who?
- Lucy,

I thought we settled that,

Yes, but you just said you're not using
a Japanese actress,

That's right, Not an actress,

I want to use a plain,
old-fashioned, real Japanese girl,

who doesn't sing rock 'n' roll, That's all,

You've got a built-in hostility
to Lucy playing that part,

Now look, Paul, I say,

Lucy made up as a geisha
in a roomful of geishas,

you'd never pick her out,

You're blowing your top, Sam,

- You had too much sake last night,
- I say she'd fool you,

And I say she'd never fool me
for a minute,

Well, I'd be willing to go by that test,
What do you say?

I haven't time for this foolishness,

I know now the sort of girl I want,

Now, be fair,

Get one of those geisha
we saw last night,

In fact, I know the very one,

The girl who came in last, The shy one,

The one I beat in the game,

Well, I've got some,,,

There was something about that geisha,

I didn't know what it was,
And then suddenly it came over me,

- Do you know who she reminds me of?
- Who?

Lucy, Yes, Lucy,

You don't see it, but I do,

I tell you,
she's exactly as photogenic as Lucy,

I guarantee it,

Well, what do you know?

Sam, what do I need out of this girl?
A face,

But it must be a real face,

Madame Butterfly was a geisha,

This girl is a geisha,

She'll play it real because
she doesn't know any other way,

I'm sure I'm right, Don't resist the idea,

No, No, I'm not resisting it,

Just let me think about it,

Sam, I'd like to pay a compliment,

- There is nobody like you in Hollywood,
- Well, I haven't said yes, yet,

- Yes, but you agree to the principle?
- Yes, in principle,

All right, I don't hold you to that girl,

If it's not that geisha, well,
we'll look for another,,,

No, no, that girl,

- That geisha was the best,
- You think so, too, huh?

I give you my word,
I couldn't take my eyes off her,

She's got something, no doubt,
I'll give her a screen test,

Sam, on this picture,
I want the real thing,

I want to get away from a film studio,

I tell you, Sam,
we can make screen history,

While you're making it, I'll run along,

I have some errands,

Thank you,

So long, Sam, Take care of yourself,

- I'm awfully fond of you,
- I love you, too,

Well, I hope my eyes don't blink
too much,

I have to get used
to these contact lenses,

Well, the thing to stress
is how old-fashioned you are,

That's the quality he says
he keeps looking for,

I'll be old-fashioned,

What are you going to say?
Have you got a story prepared?

- I have a story,
- Well, aren't you nervous?

No, Sam, but I will be pretty soon,

I'm sorry,

I think we must use psychology on Paul,

If he thinks he won't be able to get me,
he'll want me,

What?

You work in a restaurant,

You have a chance to be a film star,
and you're going to play hard to get?

Sam, you going to listen
or keep talking?

All right, I'm listening,

Go tell Paul I'm a very religious girl,
and when I finish my geisha time,

I'm entering a Buddhist convent,

What's that?

Please, We haven't time
to debate this, Sam,

Do as I ask, Run and tell him that,

Well, I hope you know
what you're doing,

Convent?

Well?

Maybe we ought to get another girl,

- Why?
- Well, this one is,,, I don't know,

She won't give him options
for more pictures,

More pictures? She's not
too interested in doing this one,

- She's not?
- What?

I don't know, I can't get it clear,

but she's going into a convent
or something,

Kind of a religious type,

Paul, don't take on headaches
you don't need,

I don't know,

A spiritual quality
is what this role calls for,

Not interested in the part, huh?

Here she comes,

- Good morning,
- Good morning,

I'm afraid I don't know your name,

Yoko Mori,

Yoko Mori,
That is a very melodious name,

Yes, nice and short,
Looks fine on a marquee,

You remember Mr Moore?

Very famous American picture star,

I am honoured,

Well, thank you,

I am likewise honoured,

What pictures of mine have you seen?

I never see you in cinema,

I sorry, I do not go,

I thought the Japanese
were big picture fans,

Hai, we in Japan
admire greatly the American film,

But not you?

I hope I not give offence,

No, no,
We're just curious why you don't go,

I follow old tradition,

My honoured grandmother
never go cinema,

I'm afraid that
the cinema wasn't invented

when your grandmother was around,

Well, let's begin, shall we?

What is she, some kind of nut?

- I say get somebody else,
- Well, you can't tell yet,

I can tell,

Okay, thank you, Shig, Thank you,

Now, here,

Here, that way, That way,

Now, Now, Miss Moro, I,,,

Mori,

Yes, of course, I'm sorry, Yoko Mori,

Can I have a little quiet, please?

Thank you very much,

Now, Miss Mori,
this is mostly a photographic test,

We want to see how you look on film,

how your voice sounds
and how you move,

I'll ask a question from off-camera,
and you answer me,

Now, that's simple, isn't it?

Hai, seems simple,

We go, Right?

Rolling,

Madame Butterfly. Test,

Yoko Mori, Take one,

Are you nervous, Miss Mori?

Hai, I little nervous,

That's very natural,

- May I call you Yoko?
- I would be honoured,

Yoko, we know very little of geisha,

Would you tell us something
about yourself,

where you were born,
how you were raised,

and how you came to be a geisha?

I was born the youngest of 11 children

to my poor but very honourable parents

in small village not far from Tokyo,

When I was a few weeks old,
my father died,

and mother unable to raise me,

she sent me to live
with honourable grandparents,

who raised me until I was five years old,

Since they, too, were also quite poor,

it became necessary at that time
to sell me,

When I was sold,,,

Hold it a moment, Yoko,

Hold it,

Am I not speaking clearly?

No, you're speaking fine,

The part about you being sold,

could you explain that a little more fully?

My grandfather went to a man
who bought young girls

to train as geisha,

He bought many girls,

although not all girls were able
to become a geisha,

I was most fortunate,

I became geisha,

Does this man still own you, Yoko?

No, I recently pay back last of money

to honourable gentleman,

That's very commendable,

I do not understand the word,

Oh, it's a compliment,
It means very nice,

I don't understand that word,

That means thank you very much,

Thank you,

Bob, why don't you stand next to Yoko?

Okay,

How much shorter is she than you?

Oh, quite a lot,
I'd say three or four inches, at least,

Yoko,

would you put your arms
around Mr Moore and kiss him?

It is necessary?

Have you any objection
to kissing Mr Moore?

No, Only I have never
kiss anyone before,

Paul, if,,,

Never?

You mean never in your whole life?

Kissing not Japanese custom,

However, I have seen it done
and will attempt it, if you wish,

Paul, if you don't mind,

I'll direct this part of the scene myself,

Honey? Put your arms out,

No, no,

This way,

That's it,

Well,

What have you got to report, director?

Hey,

Oh,

Well, if that's her first kiss,

I'm afraid to see what she'll be like
with a little practise,

What do you think of kissing, Yoko?

It is most interesting,

She can take
kissing direction great, Paul,

Take my word for that,

All right, cut,

You were very natural, Yoko,

I had him kiss you to see
if it would upset you,

It is good, this being natural?

It's the hardest kind of acting to do,

- Take my word for it,
- Oh, yeah,

Why don't you wait for me
in the dressing room, Miss Mori?

Thank you very much, Thank you,

I think the kid's just great, She's,,,

Well, I mean, she's natural,

You know, that's what Paul said
the part calls for,

You're the producer, Sam,
How do you vote?

Well, I'm not against her,
but I'd prefer a girl with options,

Come on, Sam,

Sam, this one-shot appearance
can be an asset to us,

We'll publicise that this girl
is going into a convent,

lt'll be a tremendous emotional wallop
to the audience,

- Yeah, yeah, you bet, you bet,
- Well, you may be right,

I'll tell her she got the part,

Here, now, Just a minute, Bob,
Let me be the producer in something,

After all, I still have
the business negotiations to make,

- You're right, Sam, Come on, Bob,
- Yeah, I just,,,

- How'd we do?
- Well, you got the part,

They talked me into it,

Attaboy, Sam,

You know, that convent idea did it,

Lucy, when you decide to retire
from acting,

I'll make you a producer,

- You're just dishonest enough,
- Thank you,

By the way, you're going to have
trouble with Bob,

- What kind of trouble?
- Well, romantic trouble,

He's anticipating laughs,

I can tell, with the geisha,

I always have that kind of trouble
with Bob, Sam,

- What's that?
- Yeah,

I don't believe it,

Why, he's Paul's friend,

There's nothing wrong with Bob,

He's just a delayed adolescent,
that's all,

Why do you think he's been married
four times?

He falls in love with the woman
who's nearest,

It doesn't bother me, though, Sam,

Who is it?

It's me, Yoko, Open the door,

Who is me, please?

Mr Moore,

Mr Moore,

Please, dozo. Come in,

Yoko, honey, I,,,

I've just been thinking,
Maybe I could help you a lot,

How would you like to rehearse
at my hotel this evening?

We,,,

The door was locked,
I thought you were alone,

Now, Bob,
you might as well get used to it,

I have to bring this girl back
to her uncle every night,

He's made me responsible for her,

You know, these people are very strict,
Come on,

For heaven's sake, Sam,
I wasn't going to eat her,

Thank you very much for offer,
Mr Moore,

That's all right, Yoko,

What's the matter with you?
Are you an animal or something?

- Let me,,,
- Go on now, please,

Sam, up to here it's been a joke,
but now I want to start to work,

I want to listen to the radio,
day and night,

and get the inflection in my ear,

I've been bluffing it,

I want to move to a real Japanese hotel,

and I want a coach, the best,

I'll show that husband of mine,

"You're a great comic, Luce,

"but the role of Madame Butterfly
is outside your range,"

He'll eat those words
with nouvelle vague sauce,

my fine French genius,

Do it, Luce, Do it,

- Come in, Come in, Mr Takata,
- Thank you,

I came as soon as I could,

I hope you are pleased with your room,

- I need a chair,
- No, nothing doing,

We don't want you sitting down
on the chair, in the middle of a scene,

forget yourself like that,

Mr Takata?

Now, the most important thing now
is to find the teacher for her,

Are there such things
as geisha teachers?

- There are,
- Well, fine, We want the best,

Sworn to secrecy,

Takata, now, you get one over here,
say, at 3:00,

I have an old friend who is
one of the most famous teachers,

And perhaps he will
kindly permit us to visit him,

Well, we'd be very much obliged,
Mr Takata,

Of course, we'll pay him
whatever his time is worth,

and we'll appreciate it very much
if he'll teach Miss Dell,

I will present our plea most earnestly,

Thank you,

- May I leave now?
- Yes, Certainly,

Thank you,

- Well, thank you very much,,,
- It's a pleasure,

,,,for the time you've given me,

- Goodbye,
- Thank you very much,

Goodbye,

- Goodbye,
- Goodbye,

Goodbye,

That was certainly a boner,
asking him to bring the teacher here,

I forget how polite these people are,

- He is expecting us,
- Thank you,

Welcome to my home, I am honoured,

I am privileged to enter,

May I present my friends

Miss Lucy Dell and Mr Samuel Lewis?

- How do you do?
- How do you do? How are you?

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

- How do you do?
- Would you be seated?

- Thank you,
- Thank you,

It occurs to me,
our ceremony of cha-no-yu

may not be interesting to you,

It is the preparation and drinking of tea,

We drink tea in America

with lemon, iced, creamed,
all sorts of ways,

- We like tea,
- That's right,

Our main purpose in our tea ceremony

is not actually the drinking of it,

but to create
an atmosphere of tranquillity,

Like our martini, Same principle,

I understand your time is limited,

We may assume
the atmosphere is tranquil, if you wish,

It is most kind of you,

We've come for advice and guidance,

I'll help if I can,

Miss Dell is a famous
motion picture actress in America,

Mr Lewis is Miss Dell's employer,

He wishes to film a motion picture
of Madame Butterfly.

Since Miss Dell will play
the part of a geisha,

he hopes that
you may be able to instruct her,

Yes, she has a whole week
to get up in it,

I'm not sure I understand,

Oh, I'm a quick study, I'll surprise you,

I would be truly surprised, Miss Dell,

The tea ceremony we are watching
takes many months to perfect,

There are 90 separate and exact steps,

Well, say we skipped the tea ceremony,
Could she get up on the rest of it?

If I worked hard?

Perhaps, I can best answer you

if I tell you what a geisha is,

A real geisha, as you say,

I have a particular girl in mind,

At seven years of age,
she became an apprentice,

In the coldest winters,

she would practise
her musical instruments,

As her fingers became
too numb to strike,

she would dip her hands,
chapped and bleeding,

into a pan of ice water,

This is called kan-geiko,
or winter practise,

and is not intended for cruelty,

but discipline,

It has been estimated

that the hours required
for study and work

to become a true geisha

equal that of a doctor,

The geisha whom I describe

speaks French and English
and Chinese,

She plays excellent golf

and tennis and is a ski champion,

She dances the ancient dances

and the tango equally well,

She can converse with almost any man
on his profession,

Should he be a stockbroker,

she will know the closing prices
of the franc in Geneva

and pound in London,

She has been bred to please
and represents

a flawless combination
of womanly grace and skills,

Of course, I speak
of our extraordinary geishas,

the ones who may marry
cabinet ministers,

They are the ultimate,
we believe, in womankind,

I do not believe all these graces
can be taught in one week,

I respectfully offer,

You couldn't teach me that
in two lifetimes,

Would it be possible for us to see
this geisha that you spoke about?

May I present her? Kazumi lto,

She came to visit me today,
and she was kind enough to offer

to act as my hostess,

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

Thank you,

Oh, Mr Kaida,

what's the purpose
of all this work and preparation?

What does this remarkable girl do?

She performs a service
which is peculiarly Japanese,

We conduct our business and social life
only in the teahouse, never in our home,

She entertains for us,

In America, you combine the functions
of childbearing and entertaining

in one woman,

I do not deny it is more efficient,

and it is possibly our way in the future,

But you must pardon an old man,

who has devoted his life
to the art of geisha,

if he feels sad to see disappear

this distillation of all
that is wonderful in womanhood,

Well, could you help Miss Dell
in little things,

just so she'd look like a geisha?

After all,
she only has to fool an American,

I only know the old arts,

But may I suggest,
perhaps Kazumi could help you?

She would know your needs
better than I,

- Yes,
- Sam, that's a great idea,

Sure, We could live together,

She could stick with me day and night,
watch me like a hawk,

- Oh, sign her, Sam! Sign her!
- Yes, we'll take her,

That is, if it's all right with Kazumi,

Would it please you, Master?

It is only for you to decide,

It would be an honour to see a geisha
truly portrayed on the screen,

I am most happy to be at your disposal,

Well, thank you, Kazumi,

Excuse me for being rude just now,

There is no need,
Truly, I was not offended,

Are you always this good-natured?

I mean, in the morning
before coffee, too?

All the time, She is a geisha,

Brother, have I got a lot to learn,

Now, that, I can shoot
in Hollywood studio,

I keep saying real,

We will shoot everything outside,

You understand, Mr George?
Everything outside, clear?

Yes, thank you very much,

- Hi, Sam,
- You heard the music?

Yeah, they did a wonderful job,

It will be absolutely sensational,

I hope so, We're spending money
like it'll be sensational,

- Don't lose your nerve, Sam,
- Oh, no, I've got plenty of nerve,

It's money I'm thinking of,

For you, Mr Robaix, Long distance call
from Phoenix, Arizona,

- One second, Phoenix, Arizona?
- Yes, sir,

Who'd call me from there?

Yes, hello?

Oversea operator,

Yeah?

Phoenix, Arizona
calling Mr Paul Robaix,

Yes, who's calling him?

Mrs Robaix calling,

- One moment please,
- It's Lucy,

- In Arizona?
- Yes,

- Hello?
- Hello, Paul, darling,

Hello, Lucy, How are you?

I'm fine, I'm just fine, Can you hear me?

Yes, very good,

- What's that?
- I said I hear you very good,

You have to speak louder,

I said, I hear you,,,

Oh, I can hear you very well,

What are you doing in Arizona?

Well, I came down to
the Cooper ranch for a while,

They have lots of horses here,
and it's very quiet,

But they don't have a telephone,
I had to come down to the general store

to call you, as a matter of fact,

How long you staying there?

Oh, I think a few more weeks,

And then I thought I'd try
the Elizabeth Arden health farm,

But they don't take
telephone calls, either,

So I'll always have to call you, okay?

Okay, don't forget me,

I won't, darling,
I think of you all the time,

- How's everything going?
- Oh, fine,

We just received the opera voices
from New York, Fabulous,

- Oh, wonderful,
- What?

Well, I think we're getting
a weak connection now,

- Oh, no,
- Oh, I'm,,, I'll call you again, Paul,

- Lucy, hello?
- I love you,

- Hello, darling, Hello?
- I love you, Bye,

I love you,

Well, that takes care of the telephone,

What an invention, Frustrating,

- Mr Robaix,
- Yeah?

- Nagasaki is right here, see?
- Oh, fine,

- Oh, by the way, Sam,
- Yeah?

Where does Yoko live?

Oh, she moved into the Saami hotel
with a geisha friend of hers,

Get me the Saami hotel,
I want to talk to her,

Oh, no, no, Please, please,
Look, she's not in,

I'm pretty sure she isn't,

- Where is she?
- Well, she said

she was going out shopping,
Really, you can put that down,

No, no, Maybe she's back,

See if she's in,
If she's not, leave my name, will you?

Well, what do you want her for?

The boss tell me there's sumo wrestling
this afternoon,

and I thought we'd take Yoko along
to explain it to us,

Oh, that'll be Sam, He's going to tell me
how Paul was during the phone call,

Yoko?

Hello, Yoko?

Who is calling, please?

It's Mr Robaix, Yoko,

Yes, Mr Robaix, how are you?

How are you along in your English?

Fine, I practising every day,

Good, good,
What are you doing this afternoon?

I practising with my friend,

Well, I'm inviting you and your friend
to the sumo wrestling,

so you can explain it to us, okay?

Hello, Yoko?

All right, All right,

Fine, We'll check later about times,

Sam, you won't be bored this afternoon,

I'm sure I won't,

Well,

it had to be faced sooner or later,

He's never seen me in the daytime
so close before,

When we make up your eyes,
and with your cheekbones,

you are difficult to detect, I assure you,

I would not glance at you a second time,

That boy knows me
a little better than you, Kazumi,

But I think we can get away with it,

I just need all the help I can get,

Now, would you fill me in
on sumo wrestling?

Sumo wrestling is Japan's
most popular sport,

Even ahead of your baseball,

And is performed by Japanese

who are bigger than the most
people believe that Japanese grow,

The small wrestlers are 200 pounds,

and the larger ones are 350,

Do you think we're gonna
miss this whole thing?

Look,,,

Oh, hello, Yoko,

Yoko, I,,, I'm sorry,

- I thought you were someone else,
- Hey, Paul,

Why don't you and Sam go on in,
and I'll be happy to wait for Yoko,,,

- Good afternoon,
- Oh, hello, Yoko,

May I present my friend,
Kazumi lto-san?

- Oh, how do you do?
- How do you do?

How do you do?

- How do you do?
- Shall we go in?

Yes, thank you,

Was that real Japanese?

I don't understand it, I only speak it,

Sumo wrestling is over 300 years old,

It is Japan's most popular sport,

How much do those fellows weigh?

The lighter one weigh 200 pound,

The larger, 350 pound,

Hey, Sam, we ought to import
a half a dozen of these guys

for the Los Angeles Rams,
We'd lead the league,

Well, let's finish the picture first,

Why did they stop?
And what are they throwing?

They are throwing salt, It is traditional,

It will be done several times
to appease gods,

- For heaven's sake,
- Hai, like for heaven's sake,

No, Yoko, no, I didn't mean it that way,

We say, "For heaven's sake,,,"

Well, it's sort of complicated,
but it means,

"What do you think of that?"

She's showing off, Tell her to quit it,

In Japanese?

May I introduce one of our champions,
Edo No Yama?

- How do you do?
- Enjoyed your work,

- You see?
- Everything all right?

Fine, Sam, How would you like
to learn an aria in Japanese?

- Would you like to do it in Italian?
- Oh, no, Just skip it,

- Why don't we tell Paul who I am, Sam?
- What?

He ought to be convinced
by now I can play it,

- What if he discovers it?
- Oh, no, Just,,,

What's going on here?

Oh, no, no, nothing, Nothing at all,

Studying your lines
for the wedding scene?

Hai, I have memorised already,

Say, you know,
we ought to do a little rehearsing,

Kazumi, sit back with Mr Takata,
Would you, please?

Now, look,
Do you think that's a good idea?

Paul might want her unrehearsed,

Paul's the one that told me to do it,

Thank you very much, Kazumi, honey,

Well, where should we start?

Here's to the happy couple?

Hai, if you like,

Here's to the happy couple,

Oh,

- Thank you,
- You're welcome,

Yoko, honey, you don't have to light
my cigarettes anymore,

You're not a geisha now,

You're my leading lady,

I like to light your cigarette,

- Really?
- Hai.

- Why?
- I like to please,

It is my pleasure in life to please,

Well, yeah, but don't you like to have
people do nice things for you?

Hai. Yes, sometimes,

But I have been taught

it is more pleasure to give
than to receive,

That is also your teachings, ne?

Yeah, but we've sort of
forgotten about it, I'm afraid,

Yoko, I've been married four times,

What do you think about that?

You must be very desirable,

What? Oh, yeah, well,
only in the beginning, Yoko,

Only in the beginning, yeah,

Come to think of it, they even
light cigarettes at the beginning,

But it,,, It wears off,

I'll bet it wouldn't wear off with a,,,
With a Japanese girl,

Yoko,

would you take alimony from a man?

- Alimony?
- Yeah,

I do not understand,
What is alimony, please?

Forget it, I'm sorry I mentioned it,
It's a very dirty word,

I'll wash my mouth out with soap,

Yeah, well, let's do the lines now,

All right, cut,

- It's okay for you, Shig?
- Wonderful,

Good, Print that one,

What's the matter? Didn't you like it?

There is something peculiar
about this girl,

What do you mean?

I've directed many beginners,
and she takes direction too easily,

Really?

- There's only one explanation,
- What's that?

The geisha training,

She's like a sponge, absorbs everything,

Yeah, I guess that must be it,

- Good evening, Mr Robaix,
- Good evening, Any mail?

Not for you, I hope all went well today,

It went very well, thank you,

And now I would like to bake
in one of your famous Japanese baths,

I'll bake with him, too,
Separately, if you don't mind,

Certainly,

You say that, separately?

Yeah, that's what I said, Not together,

I know it's a custom here,
but I'm not that fond of this guy,

Oh,,,

What's the matter?
You have separate baths,

I had one this morning,

But they're all booked
this time of the evening,

And you did not reserve one,
Mr Robaix,

Oh, no!

Sam?

Now, my contract says
that I've got to have a hot bath,

And if it doesn't,
my agent's gonna be in hot water,

What's wrong?

Oh, we forgot to reserve private baths,

and we're not used to
community bathing, you know,

Oh, we have reserved private baths,
Perhaps you may have ours,

It is all right,

Thank you very much, Yoko,
Are you sure you don't mind?

No matter, We think bathing
together more friendly, anyway,

- She's got something,
- Maybe she has,

I'm not saying anything against it,

but I can't explain, Men and women
all bathing together is something,,,

- The shame is in your head,
- Yeah,

Well, you're probably right, but,,,

Thank you very much, Yoko, Kazumi,
Good night, Sam,

Are you coming, Sam?

No, I'm going to have a drink at the bar,

Okay, see you tomorrow, Good night,
And thank you again, Yoko,

Good night,

- See why I love him, Sam?
- 'Cause he takes baths?

No, because he's not interested
in community bathing,

You see, that's why
I'd bet my life on Paul,

Most men would be smirking
about bathing with a lot of strangers,

- But not Paul,
- You're absolutely right,

It's all in your head,

I'm going to take a bath with you,

You are?

You didn't think I had the nerve,
did you?

Cancel my bath,

We are all bathing together,

Oh, maybe you shouldn't, Paul,
You know, we're foreigners here,

All the more reason
to follow local custom,

- That's right,
- It's common courtesy,

- Absolutely,
- Anyway, I'm doing a Japanese picture,

This might give me
a further view into their culture,

What about you, Sam?

Well, I had a bath this morning,
I'm against this, Paul,

- See you girls at the bath,
- In the bath,

Hai, good night,

- Sam, get me out of that!
- Well, how?

- I don't care how,
- Well, he'll never recognise you,

- He certainly will,
- Well, how will he?

- I have an appendicitis scar,
- Well, he'll never look,

- He won't, will he?
- He's a gentleman,

He's doing this for research,
just like a scientist,

That's it, Think of him as a doctor,

How about Dr Bob?

Well, he'll never recognise
your appendicitis scar, Or will he?

Oh, we're being very witty today,

- aren't we Sam?
- Well, I'm just joking,

Yes, well,
you'd better think of something,

Maybe I have an idea
which can help you,

Kazumi, if you can get us out of this,
I'll kiss you,

I must make some preparation,
Excuse me,

Thank you so much, Kazumi,

- What's she going to do?
- I don't know,

But I sure hope it's something
where I keep my clothes on,

You already clean?

- Yes, we washed in our room,
- Yeah,

- And now we want to soak,
- To soak, yeah,

Where are the dames?

You know, the,,,

Are the young ladies here yet?

The young girls, Coochy, coochy,
In there?

Ah, yes, Girls in bath,

- Wait for you, Go in, please,
- Thank you, Thank you,

Yeah, I'll say, Oh, brother,

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy,

After you, mein Kapit?n.

Well,

here goes nothing,

Where are we?

Yankee Stadium,

Can you see anything?

I can't see a thing,

Too late, Missed her,

Which way is the ocean?

Here, hold on to me,
I used to be an Eagle Scout,

Oh, I got it, I got it, Water,
Hot water, Dead ahead,

Feel it?

Roger, How deep do you think?

Well, I don't know,
We're taller than they are,

Here, let go of my hand, Daddy,
I'm going in,

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am,

Well, I said I was sorry, lady,

Sorry, sir,

I mean madame, No, I think sir,

Is that you, Bob?

Where are those girls? Yoko, Yoko!

- Yoko?
- Kazumi? Yoko!

- Yoko?
- Kazumi!

Yoko,

I'm sorry, sir or madame, whichever
you are, And let's get out of here, Bob,

You mean, you've had
enough culture, huh?

Yeah, enough,

Boy, I tell you, East is East,
and West is West,

but it's not going to ever meet
in this bathtub,

- You finished already?
- Yeah, we weren't very dirty,

Steaming up that bath was genius,
Kazumi, really,

It was a solution,

- Where's Paul?
- He went to bed,

- What are you playing?
- I'm teaching her gin,

You're teaching her?

I didn't say I was beating her,
I said I was teaching her,

Oh,

- Where's Yoko?
- She had dinner in her room,

She went to sleep early,

Yeah, I'm,,,

I'm just a little bushed,
I think I'll turn in, too,

Good night,

- You playing her for money?
- A yen a point,

I'll probably be working for you
in the morning,

I wouldn't be surprised,

Well, good night, all,

I better get busy
before you blitz me on the other two,

Thanks, honey,

Kazumi?

No, it's me, Yoko, Bob,

Do not put on light, please,

Don't you worry, I'm not going to,

Yoko, honey, it's all right,

Nobody's going to bother us,

- Here,,,
- Please, Mr Moore!

Yoko, look, This is the first time
I've gotten you alone,

Mr Lewis is always around, or Kazumi,

- This is our chance,
- Please, Mr Moore, I'm not that kind,

Oh, here, Yoko, Let me take,,,

Yoko, what's the,,,

You geishas are,,,

Yoko?

Yoko, honey, I,,,

Yoko, let,,,

Yoko, don't you like me?

Hai, I like you, Mr Moore,
But this is forbidden,

- Honey, you can trust me,
- No, Mr Moore,

- Look, I won't tell,
- Please, Mr Moore!

- Yoko,
- No, Mr Moore!

Yoko, look, control yourself, honey,

Look, relax, You're a grown girl,

Mr Moore, you're dishonouring me,

No, no, I'm not, I respect you,

Mr Moore, if I am dishonoured,
I'll be on your conscience,

Well, that's all right,

If I'm dishonoured,
I must commit hara-kiri,

- What was that?
- Hai, I must, It is my faith,

- You mean hari-kari with a knife?
- Hai.

Even now I somewhat dishonoured,

No, no, no, you're not,

No, I haven't touched you,
See, I haven't touched you,

I must go to temple and ask what to do,

No, you don't have to
ask them anything,

This was nothing, nothing at all,

Mr Moore, please go,

Yeah, I'll go, I'll go, yeah,

Yoko, honey, now,
you won't do anything foolish, will you?

I must talk to honourable ancestors,

Yeah, talk to them, That's a good idea,
Yeah, yeah, fine, Well, good night,

- I beg your pardon?
- I'm talking to honourable grandfather,

Oh, very good, Very good,
Talk to him a lot,

Yes, that's an excellent thought,
That'll straighten it out, Yes,

Well, see you tomorrow and sayonara.

Paul?

Paul?

Paul, wake up, boy,

- What's the matter?
- I can't sleep,

Would you believe it?
I haven't been able to close my eyes,

What do you want me to do,
sing to you?

Take a pill, you idiot, and let me alone!

This is your answer to me?
Me, your best friend?

You're not my best friend, anymore,
Go away, Please, go,

Oh, brother, how selfish can you get?

Here I am on the threshold of a decision

that may mean my last chance
for happiness, and you say go away!

Very well,

In a crisis,
a man knows his true friends,

All right, what is it? Talk, talk,
Unburden yourself,

You're quite sure
that you feel up to listening?

Yes, I'm sure, I'm all ears,

Paul, I've been doing some
serious soul searching,

My qualities of life are shoddy,

Cheap and shoddy,

Yes, they are,

Paul, I've just had a revelation,

It's come to me

like a blinding light,

Really?

I've been comparing Yoko
to the four dames I married,

They don't come off so good, Paul,

Oh, I wouldn't say that,

Well, I would,

Paul, there's a difference,
a great, great difference,

You think that Japanese women
take alimony? Not,,,

Do you know what they do
when you split with them?

They jump in volcanoes,

- You're exaggerating a little,
- Paul, listen,

Paul, I've just come to a giant decision,

If Yoko will have me,

- I'm going to marry her,
- Good,

Marry her?

- That's right,
- Are you crazy?

Paul, I hope I'm not going to see
any prejudice in you,

That's not it at all,

You hardly know her,

I know her better
than I knew half my wives,

Paul, she is,
she's all those things I said she is,

She's good, kind, decent,

Oh, brother, is she decent,

I can testify to that,

What more could a man want?

- Paul?
- Yes?

You've made up my mind for me,

Paul, I'm going to marry her,

- It's settled!
- But, listen,,,

- It's settled!
- Listen, Bob, Bob!

Oh, now I can sleep like a baby,

Shig, I asked you to put the camera low!

It's clear? Low!

Put the camera low!
I want this one! Not,,,

- Mr Robaix?
- What?

A letter from your wife,

Thank you,

Quiet! Quiet!
Let's have a bit more quiet on the set!

- Quiet,
- No, no, no, You can talk, go ahead,

Shig, It's low take,

And keep the camera low
to get the reflection,

Yes,

We start here with the dolly
and track slowly,

Yes, Mr Robaix,

Hi, Paul,

Hey, what are you doing here?

- Well, you know,
- Ah, yes,

Have you asked her yet?

No, That's what I want
to talk to you about,

- You see, Paul,,,
- Shig, I think 20 feet of track, at least,

- Paul,,,
- Right, niju feet,

- Yeah,
- Okay,

I've been thinking, Well,
I thought maybe you could help me,

You see, I've been reading up
on their marriage customs,

It seems that the man
doesn't propose himself,

- He gets a friend to do it for him,
- What?

Well, you're my best friend, Aren't you?

A dog is a man's best friend,

- Do your own proposing,
- Now, listen to me, Paul,

Enough of this nonsense,

This picture winds up tomorrow,
and she wants to enter a convent!

We got to talk her out of that, Oh, Paul,

You want me to be happy, don't you?

Hey,

Are you sure you want to marry her?

I'm positive, absolutely positive,
Now, Paul, listen,

Build me up to her,
Tell her how very nice I am,

Well, lie a little,

I don't have to lie,

Oh, Paul, you're wonderful,
just wonderful,

Thank you very, very much,

- Shig, you need me?
- Not for half an hour, Mr Robaix,

Keep the camera low as you track,

- Go for the reflection,
- Okay,

- Well,,,
- Paul, tell her about my good qualities,

Yeah,

Paul, You better be careful, though,

- Yeah,
- Yeah,

Your husband is coming,

He's a very handsome man,

I'm entitled to him,
He's married to a very beautiful girl,

I would not like to be married
to a very handsome man,

Why not?

I have a most jealous nature,

You are fortunate you have not,

No one's more jealous than I am,
Kazumi, No one,

Then you hide it well,

I'm even jealous
that my husband likes Yoko,

But you are Yoko,

How's that for being jealous?

And don't think I'm not gonna run down
that Yoko the first chance I get,

That dame's getting too cute,

- I am ready,
- Oh, we're not set up yet,

I just came in for a chat,

May I be excused?

- Sayonara, Kazumi,
- Sayonara.

Please sit down,

There is something you wish say to me?

Well, do you know your lines for today?

Today, there are no lines,

Only silent scene before temple,

- Have I misunderstood?
- No,

My mistake,

Yes?

You know, my friend Bob
is a very nice person,

Hai, I find him so,

He finds you so,

I am flattered,

He's rather shy,

You wouldn't know it, but he is,

- I am surprised,
- Oh, yes,

We were discussing you,

In his opinion and in mine,

the Western woman is no match
for the Japanese woman,

You are very kind but, I think, unfair,

No, no, no, no, The Western woman
can learn a lot from you,

in the observance of the homely virtues,

I'm certain there is lot
we can learn from her,

That's right,

But not in the art of pleasing men,

Perhaps,
Our upbringing is to please men,

That's right,

Does Mr Bob find me sympathy?

Oh, yes, Oh,

Maybe Mr Bob would like
make love to me,

What?

I would be happy to please him,

What do you mean, please him?

Make love to him,

It cannot be so different between us,

I don't think I understand you,

In what way I can explain more fully?

Do you let a man make love to you?

- Hai, if he entitled,
- What do you mean "entitled"?

Who'd be entitled to make love to you?

Oh, all nice, sympathy people,

All,,,

Are there many people
sympathy with you?

Hai. Oh, there are very many,

Let me see,
My patron, who lend me money,

- His friends,
- His friends?

Hai.

But what if you don't like his friends?

Oh, that very impolite,

Isn't that carrying courtesy
a little too far?

As you say, we have the homely virtues,

That's not exactly what I meant
by virtues,

I must say, this surprises me,

I,,, Oh, I hope I have not offended you,

No, no, No,

You are sympathy to me,

- I am?
- Hai.

Well, thank you, Yoko,
I'm much obliged,

It is small courtesy,

- Not in my country,
- No?

- How strange, How very unfriendly,
- Yes,

I mean, no,

It's only in the head, probably,

Like mixed company bathing,

I'm afraid our cultures
are more different than I thought, Yoko,

Very much,

You have worked hard,

- Now you must relax,
- Yeah,

Oh, yeah,

Yes, we've all been working hard,

And it's been worth it, Yoko,

I've seen most of the picture,
It's good, Yoko, It is,

I very happy for you,

And I am happy for me,

I needed this picture, I needed it badly,

- Needed?
- Oh, yeah,

This use of the word not clear to me,

I needed it to be successful, Yoko,

You are most successful,

- You are director of wife's pictures,
- That was it,

My wife pictures, Not mine, My wife's,

You are not pleased
directing wife's pictures?

Well, I was grateful but not pleased,

They're not the same,

There does not seem to me
to be much difference,

There is a difference,

You're Japanese, Yoko,
You don't understand,

I am most anxious to understand,

Well, nobody said it to my face,

but I wasn't Mr Robaix,

I was Mr Lucy Dell,

That couldn't happen
to a Japanese man,

He is born a big man to his wife,

In the Western world,

a man must be a big man
to his wife, too,

But often this is difficult,

I think the Western world is wrong,
and your world is right,

Yeah,

You are unhappy your wife successful?

No, Yoko,

I'm very proud of her, very much,

But it only became necessary
that I was successful, too,

A little for my vanity,
a little for my dignity,

But mostly so that I could be the man,
so she could be the woman,

Yeah,

Say, do you know what you are doing?

You are being my geisha,

So this is what you do for
the tired Japanese businessman, huh?

You make him tell his troubles,

Why, you geisha are nothing
but just analysts without couches,

Yoko, sayonara.

And thank you for the massage,

What did she say?

- About what?
- Did you tell her all,,,

About what?

- About marrying me,
- Oh, that,

Bob, we have to give that
a lot more thought,

There's no time for thought, Paul,
Listen, I,,,

She's a wonderful person,

but are you considering
the practical side of marrying her?

Of course, I,,,

What would she be like in Beverly Hills?

It's great, just great,
Everybody would envy me,

She's been raised differently
from our women,

Not just going around
lighting everybody's cigarettes,

What's wrong with that?
I think that's cute,

- This is the kind of,,,
- To tell you the truth,

she'd go around doing more than that,

Mr Robaix! Mr Robaix!

The laboratory just called,

There's something the matter
with yesterday's film,

- Oh, no!
- Could you,,,

There's a flutter in it,

- A flutter?
- Wait a minute,

Do we have to shoot it again?

Can't tell,
They're waiting for us at the lab,

Okay, Go ahead, I'm coming,

Paul, answer me, Did you ask Yoko
to marry me, or didn't you?

Bob, as much I admire her,
I don't think you ought to marry her,

Who's asking for your opinion?

I just asked you to deliver a message,

a simple message
like a Western Union boy,

I don't need your permission,
You're not my father, you know,

You're not going to get into
one of your hasty marriages again,

I warned you, Paul,

You don't know anything about this girl,

- I know enough about,,,
- No, you don't,

They've been raised
to please everybody,

Well, I'll,,,

- Their morality is different,
- Now, Paul, Now,,,

They are friendly, like puppies,

- Yeah?
- Yeah,

Well, she's my puppy,

And I don't want to hear
one more word against her,

because I'm going to marry her,

And I'm not going to let you do it, clear?

Mr Robaix, I think it's likely
you'll find nothing in our contract

about your giving me permission
whom I can marry,

This is legal,
You want me to read it to,,,

Paul! Paul!

You're only going to see the negative,

and of course,
all the colours will be reversed,

Yes, I understand,

- The colours will be odd,
- Let's go, Come on,

I can show you the colour print
by tomorrow,

That's not important,

It's the flutter that bothers me,

Aren't these negative colours crazy?

There it is,

It's okay, I cut away before that,
No problem,

We'll get by,

Is there more?

Just one shot of Yoko towards the end,

There it is,

A redheaded geisha with blue eyes?

Very strange, Mr Robaix,

Yes, Very strange,

- Do you have to shoot it again?
- No,

- Oh, fine,
- We're lucky,

Yes, aren't we?

Well, we better get back,

Shig, you do the scene,

It's a silent shot,
I have some thinking to do, you know?

Okay,

- Run the last shot again, please,
- Certainly,

Run the last one again,

You shouldn't have done it, Lucy,

I wish you hadn't,

You're a clever girl, I give you that,

You're too clever for me,

Paul,

There you are,

Where have you been?
We thought you had an accident,

No, no,

No accident,

- I've been walking,
- You had your dinner?

- How about a drink?
- No, thanks,

Oh, Shig tells me we don't need
to retake anything,

- Is that right?
- That's right,

Sam,

I'm curious about something,

What's that?

You've been making some plans
about the opening of the picture,

- What are they?
- We've got the opening set up great,

The world premiere is gonna be
right here in Japan,

We're flying in a planeload
of American press,

Life, Look, Time, Newsweek,
AP, UP, everybody,

We'll get international coverage,
Not bad, eh?

Not bad,

Seems almost too much,

Are you sure
it merits bringing all that press?

Certainly it merits it,

They might be expecting a stunt
of some kind,

That's what these press boys
usually call for,

No, no, This is a fine artistic effort,
and the company's going all out,

- I've got a surprise for you,
- Really? What is it?

Lucy is flying here for the opening,

Surprised?

- Not exactly,
- Why not?

Lucy would surely come

to wish me success
on my first picture without her,

Yeah,

Well, she's flying in just the same,

I thought you would be happy
to hear that,

I'm very happy,

- Well, where have you been?
- Walking,

Here, now, take it easy, will you?
He's moody,

Well, he should be,
His conscience is killing him,

What about?

I asked him to do me a favour,
just a simple favour,

Something that means
my entire life's happiness,

and he won't do it,

What did you want him to do?

To ask Yoko to marry me,

You want him to ask Yoko to marry you?

I suppose
you've got something against that,

Oh, no, no, no, I haven't said anything,

- Well, are you going to or aren't you?
- I'm thinking about it,

Paul, listen, I haven't got much time,

Hey,

Hey, maybe I could ask her myself,

No, no, He'd do it better, She likes him,
She'd listen to him,

That man is standing
between Yoko and me,

You're right,

I mean, she'd listen to him,

Who is it?

It's Paul, Yoko, I want to talk to you,

I'm not dressed, Mr Robaix,
but I'll be only one minute,

Sorry, No hurry,

I should have called first,

I won't be long,

Would you like me to come back later?

No, I am almost ready, Mr Robaix,

It won't be much longer,

Please excuse me,

Very sorry to keep you waiting,

Perfectly all right,

Please come in,

- May I make tea?
- No, thank you,

Very honoured for this visit,

Please sit down,

I couldn't get back to the set,

- Did the scene go well?
- Hai, very well, Thank you,

Today no dialogue, simple,

- Well, tomorrow is the last day, Yoko,
- Hai, I know,

Have you enjoyed making the picture?

Very much, Mr Robaix, Very much,

Oh, call me Paul,

Paul,

That's right, that's more friendly, isn't it?

Yes,

The scene tomorrow is very important,

I understand,

You must project great unhappiness,

A girl giving up her baby
to her husband's new wife

and killing herself, is pretty strong,

And if it isn't done well,
it can be laughed at,

And it's a very famous scene,
The critics know it,

I will do my best,

You see,

the camera is a large magnifying glass,

Just as it can enlarge truth,
it can enlarge falsity,

Can you be sincerely unhappy?

I will try,

I wonder how I can help you,

You have been most helpful,

Already you have rehearsed me
many times in scene,

I agree, but rehearsals can accomplish
only so much,

One must feel it inside,

I will make every effort,

I'm sure you will,

Yoko,

you're a cute kid,

Thank you very much,

I am sympathy to you,
and you are sympathy to me,

Isn't that right?

Yes,

In fact,

I would say we are sympathy
to each other,

Why don't we celebrate
the end of the picture?

What's the matter, Yoko?

Need a little more romance?

I tell you my philosophy in these things,

Never chase a woman,

I say, if they don't meet you halfway,

let them go,

Well, sayonara, Yoko,

You'll never know what you missed,

See you on the set,

- Key, please,
- Yes, sir,

Paul?

- Oh, 510, please,
- Yes, sir,

- Were you with Yoko just now?
- Yes,

- Everything all right?
- Fine,

- That's an important scene tomorrow,
- Yes, it is,

- Think she can do it all right?
- I don't see why not,

Four, please,

Five,

You've,,, You've done a remarkable job
on that girl, really remarkable,

- Why, thank you, Sam,
- No, no, I mean it sincerely,

You know, all that painstaking rehearsal
has certainly paid off,

The proof is in the performance,

She's marvellous,

Well, I really didn't have to
rehearse her that much,

Fourth floor,

You see,

Lucy is a good enough actress
without much help,

Fifth floor,

No, no, Fourth floor,
take me down to the fourth floor,

What took you so long?

How long have you known?

Not very long,

You were too clever for me, both of you,

Well, we sure sweated it out,

We were afraid that if you caught on
too early, you'd have quit the picture,

You were right, I would have,

Well, we were lucky you didn't,

Everything has turned out for the best,

Lucy's happy, New York is happy,
and I know that you're happy, too,

You know that,

Now look, Paul,
You may be a little annoyed

because we pulled some sort of
practical joke on you,

but we did it for your own good,

You're really obligated to Lucy
for doing this,

- Obligated?
- Yes,

You know, I came to Japan

to tell you that you couldn't make
a first-class picture,

That it was going to be black and white,
no expensive singers,

and a budget cheap enough
that would've broken your back,

Now with Lucy, we gave you the tools
to turn out your first-class picture,

Certainly you're obligated,

Did it occur to you, either of you,
that I didn't want to be obligated?

Now, look, Paul, Now,
don't spoil your success with pouting,

You're too big a man for that,

That was an unfortunate phrase, Sam,

I almost was a big man,
I'm afraid I missed my chance,

Well, if this makes any trouble

between you and Lucy,
I'll never forgive myself,

I don't know what else to say, except,

it's a lesson I thought I knew,

never interfere
between husband and wife,

And I don't know
what more you can say,

Anything I can do?

Yeah,

I'd appreciate very much
if you don't tell Lucy I know,

Not if you say so,

I'll do the scene tomorrow,

and I would like to play the game
out to the finish,

just as you planned it,

You mean, have the premiere
without telling Lucy you know,

Without telling anyone I know,

Without telling Life and Look and Time
and Newsweek and all the rest,

- Look, we don't have to do that now,
- I insist on it,

She has earned her triumph,
let her have it,

She's entitled to it,

What about after the picture?

I thought you didn't believe in interfering
between a husband and wife,

Now, Paul,

I've known you and Lucy for a long time,

You know, what you two have together
is something rare,

Yours isn't just a marriage,
it's a love affair,

You're the envy
of everyone who knows you,

You're not going to break up
a marriage that perfect,

That's why it has to break up,

Because it's been that perfect,
and it isn't anymore,

I discovered she has a lover,

- A lover?
- Yes, a lover,

- Her career,
- Oh, career,

That's her first love, Sam, ahead of me,

I come after,

And, Sam,

- I won't come after,
- Well, that you can explain to her,

No, you can't explain in a love affair,
Not in a real love affair,

- Paul, now, please,
- Enough, Sam!

I want your word
you won't tell Lucy I know,

Have I got it?

- You have it,
- Thank you, Good night, Sam,

Good night,

- Have you seen Miss Mori?
- Yes, sir,

Here, Very nice,

I would like to get it the first take,

I have an idea it'll be her best, Sam,

I just left her,
She's in the mood, all right,

Well, it will help the scene,

And the only important thing
is a good picture,

Isn't that right?

Nothing else really matters,

She is coming,

Well, I would like to shoot it now,

You don't need another rehearsal,
do you?

- No,
- Good, Take your place, please,

All right, everybody,
Come on, come on, come on,

Cut,

- It's okay for you?
- Fine,

That's it, everyone,
Thank you all very much,

It's over, Lucy, Please, Lucy,

I'm all right, Sam,

Well, you were carried away,
it happens often, You did it fine,

It wasn't the scene,

He wanted to sleep with Yoko,

It was Pittsburgh after all, Sam,

Pittsburgh with chopsticks,

Oh, no, no, no, Please, please, Lucy,

Put him on, please,

Your call to Japan, Mr Lewis,

Hello, Sam?

- Do you hear me?
- Yes, I hear you,

Say, everything is fine from this end,

The plane leaves tonight
with all the press,

Now, how you gonna do it exactly?
Tell me,

Well, Lucy's gonna put on
a geisha outfit backstage,

Yeah,

And then when the audience begins
to call for the star and the director,

she's going to pull her wig off,

Oh, that's wonderful! Marvellous!
Lt'll be a sensation,

Sam, I compliment you,

And if I compliment you,
it must be marvellous,

Well, thanks,

Sam, I feel great, just great,

- Well, why shouldn't you feel great?
- Huh?

Look, and stop spending
so much money on long-distance calls!

I own as many shares in the company
as you do,

- What's your problem?
- I just got a letter from Yoko,

I'll read it to you,

Sam,

"Dear sir,

"thank you for your kind offer
of marriage,

"I'm afraid it's impossible,

"I'll always feel like a sister to you,
Sayonara, Yoko,"

But at least I've got a Japanese sister,

I wrote her a 10-page proposal,
Ten pages!

- I say that Paul ruined it for me,
- Well, that's life,

Is that the best you can tell me?

What am I? A philosopher?
I'm a movie producer,

- Sam, what's,,,
- Oh, come on, come on,

Let's go and get something to eat,

Sam, usually when Paul and I
have been separated for a long time,

we jump at each other,

I'd like to skip that,

I understand,

You just mention I have a headache,
I'd like not to be alone with him,

Okay,

Come in,

- Been a long time, lover,
- Too long,

I couldn't get to the airport,
I was at the lab, checking the reels,

It's all right,

- How was your flight?
- Fine,

- Good,
- She doesn't feel well, Paul,

- Oh, I feel all right,
- Really?

The truth of the matter is,
she has a splitting headache,

- Oh, no,
- Well, I'll be over it by the opening,

I just have to lie down awhile, that's all,

I'll tell you what we'll do then,
I didn't finish checking all the reels,

I'll go back to the lab,
You go to the theatre with Sam,

I'm too nervous to sit,
and I'll be walking around the theatre,

All right, darling,
I'll see you after the picture,

- I hope you'll feel better,
- Thank you,

- Good,
- Good luck,

And keep your fingers crossed,

- Yes,
- Thank you,

Well, that was easy,

Was it?

- It's Lucy Dell!
- Lucy Dell,

It's Lucy Dell!

Oh, thank you,

Is it going well?

Great,

Oh, never mind, never mind,
I'm going right out,

You know, Hollywood's a funny town,

Slapstick comedienne like you
pulling off a stunt like this,

They just might give you the Oscar,
you know, they might,

I'll take it,

Well, I didn't think you'd turn it down,

Well, I'll nose around,

Is she changing into the geisha outfit?

What do you intend to do
after she takes off her wig?

Nothing,

You sure?

I'll play surprised,

That's what the script calls for,
doesn't it?

What comes after?

What usually happens
when two people break up,

She was wonderful in that scene,

Yeah,

You know,
I've gotten used to sitting like this,

May I offer you a small gift

in tiny repayment for the friendship
and pleasure you've shown me?

Why, Kazumi,

how very thoughtful of you,

Thank you,

Oh!

Oh, it's beautiful, just beautiful!

It used to belong
to a very famous geisha,

Really? What's this?

An old proverb,

What does it say?

"No one before you, my husband,
not even I,"

"No one before you, my husband,

"not even I,"

Interesting, is it not?

A little too interesting, Kazumi,

Why did you pick that proverb?

I did not pick the proverb,

It was the fan I selected,

- Bravo! Bravo!
- Paul!

Paul! Way to go!

Go on, Paul, They want you,

Go on, now, Come on,
Come on, Get up there,

Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen,

for your warm receptions,

which has moved me
more than I can say,

I know you must be eager to meet
a remarkable young lady

who helped tremendously

to make this picture
worthy of your response,

May I present

Miss Yoko Mori,

Paul,

- Now, please, No, please,
- Let me,,, Let me go,

It's Lucy Dell,

Where's Yoko Mori?

Lucy Dell,

Ladies and gentlemen, I've been asked
to make an announcement,

Miss Yoko Mori, whom you've just seen
as Madame Butterfly,

will not be with us tonight,

She has played
her first and last performance

and has entered a convent,

We will see her no more,

But I'm sure you'll all join me
in wishing her every happiness,

And now I know you'll understand
how proud I am

of the director of this wonderful picture,

Mr Paul Robaix, my husband,

Lucy?

Yes?

I love you very much,

I'm glad, darling,

- Promise me something, dear,
- What is it?

Don't be sympathy to anybody but me,
my geisha,

You knew?

I knew,

It wasn't Pittsburgh,

Keep bowing, you little ham,