My First Summer (2020) - full transcript
I felt like I'd been
under there my entire life.
Wrapped in yellow
blankets, like a baby,
swaddled too tight.
I was sinking
further and further
and just when I was about
to run out of breath,
something pulled me out.
Something in the trees.
A light.
A glow.
Is
someone hungry?
Huh?
- Hello?
- Tilly...
- Hey
Hello, come here.
Hello.
What's your name?
Tilly, Tilly.
Where are you off to?
Hey...
It's okay.
Your dog's really cute.
- Don't take her.
- I just wanted to
make sure you're okay.
Are you okay?
- How did you know I was here?
- Well, I was there last
night at the reservoir.
I saw what happened.
I won't tell anyone.
I pinky promise.
What are you
doing with your finger?
- Haven't you heard
of a pinky promise?
Well, it means more
than a normal handshake.
So, what's your name?
- Claudia.
- I'm Grace.
- What colour are
the other fingers?
If this one is pink, what
colour are the others?
- It's not that it's pink. It's
just called your pinky finger.
And the other ones all
have different names.
You know them, right?
- First, second, third-
- Mm mm, mm mm.
Pinky, ring.
Rude.
- What makes it rude?
- No.
- What?
- Just, don't do that.
It's like saying
something really mean,
but with your finger.
Do you wanna come
and sit with me?
Can I come and
visit you sometime?
- No one can know I'm here. If
they find out, they'll take me
away.
- I won't tell anyone.
It can be our secret.
- Purple promise?
- Purple promise.
It was her, Grace.
The glow on the bank.
The pull from the trees.
She's not of this place.
- Do you want me to have a
nervous breakdown Grace, is that
it?
- No Mom.
- Why the fuck
are the cops here?
- I don't know.
- What the hell you
been up to, young lady?
- I've not done a fucking thing.
Hey, hey listen, hey.
Don't talk to her like that.
We just need
to ask her a few more questions.
Okay, so I'm Detective Croydon.
This is my partner,
Detective Jones.
We just wanted to clarify
what you saw at
the res last night.
- So you saw some
thrashing in the water
and then you said you saw a
girl running away from the res.
And we are not sure who that is.
- See, the deceased didn't
have any kids or family.
So we think that it might
have been a visitor,
or someone from out of town,
Now, is there anything
you can tell us about-
- Look.
- We really need
you to think, okay?
- It's a scorpion in a lollipop.
What'd she look like?
light hair, dark hair.
- Yeah look, I don't
really think I saw a girl.
- No girl?
- No, it was dark.
And I was on my own and
I think I got freaked.
And saw things that
weren't actually there.
I've got a really
overactive imagination.
Mom says it all the time.
- So wait, let me
get this straight.
There was no girl
- But you did say-
- Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm saying that I
think I got carried away
when I was speaking to
the officer last night.
There was no girl.
But I definitely saw a woman,
an older lady walking into the
water and then the thrashing.
- Right...
So you saw an older woman
walking into the water
- Yeah, that author lady
who lives by the res.
I recognised her from the
back of one of her books.
- Veronica Fox.
- Yeah. That's her.
She just walked into the
water and didn't come out.
It was fucked.
- Well, sounds
about right.
- Cool.
So... I'm good?
I'm not in trouble?
- No.
You're not in trouble.
Like I said, we just wanted
to clarify a few things.
- Cool.
- You've been a big help.
Thank you, Grace.
- Hey, what you saw
must've be really scary.
You got someone to talk to
about it if you need to?
- Yeah.
Lessons my darling.
My darling girl, what's wrong?
- I don't know.
- Oh my sweet.
You having bad thoughts again?
Oh my darling.
It's okay.
It's okay my darling, it's okay.
Shh, shh, shh.
Sweetheart
Breathing in... and out.
Sweet love, you're
doing so well.
Just breathe in.
Stay with me my
darling, it's all okay.
Shh, shh, shh.
Sweet love, it's okay.
It's okay, stay with me.
Stay with me.
Shh, shh, shh.
My darling, it's okay.
Slow it down, shh, shh, shh.
It's okay.
We're nearly there, my darling.
We are nearly there.
Breathe in.
- And out.
Breathe in... and out.
Good. Breathe in... and out.
- Where...
- What?
- Where did my mom go?
What did I do to her?
Nothing, hey Claudia, it's me.
It's me, Grace.
Hey. Remember?
No, no, no, please.
Claudia please.
Come back. Wait.
Claudia.
Claudia!
Claudia!
Claudia!
Claudia! Claudia!
Claudia!
Hey.
Claudia.
- I should be with her.
I should be with her.
- You can't be seen here.
You don't want to
be found do you?
Hey, let's go home.
Yeah?
Let me take you home
where it's safe.
Oh, you have to
look in the mirror.
- Why?
- Just do it.
Can I do you?
- I've got too much
hair, it won't work.
- Get in.
- You like it here?
- In the tub?
- No, I mean, in this house.
- I guess.
Why don't
you ever leave?
- I've left before.
- I don't think the res counts.
- It's on the outside.
- Yeah, but I mean
like the real outside.
- Mom said there's
nothing but pain there.
- She said that?
- She came from there.
She said that it was
filled with selfish people
who didn't treat
each other very well.
- So you've really
never been past the res?
- Why would I?
- I don't know, to go to school,
see a doctor,
go to your grandparents'
houses and have cups of tea
and listen to the same
story 10 times over.
I mean, I can't
believe it.
- Why are you laughing?
So no one
knows you exist?
- You do.
You can look in the mirror now.
- Hmm, you're
quite good at this.
- Yeah.
- I've never read any
of your mom's books.
I hear they're
really depressing.
- Mom said I'm not allowed
to read them until I turn 18.
- How old are you now?
- 16.
- Same.
Lord, how unutterably
disgusting life is.
What dirty tricks
it plays on us.
Here we are among
the breadcrumbs
and the stained napkins again.
The knife is
already con...
- Congealing.
- Congealing with grease.
Disorder, sor...
- Sordidity.
Sordidity and
corruption surrounds us.
Call the waiter, pay the
bill, we must pull ourselves
up out of our chairs.
We must find our coats.
We must go.
- Must, must, must...
detestable word.
- I who had thought
myself immune
find that the wave has tumbled
me over head over heels,
leaving me to summon my forces,
rise and confront the enemy.
Why was that page marked?
- Mom was showing
it to me in class.
- Wow.
- What?
- I thought my mom was fucked.
Sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I shouldn't
have said that.
- Mom just felt
everybody's pain.
But she's free now.
What's your mom like?
- Mmm, she kinda sucks.
- Why?
- She just, she has
a lot of problems
and her
boyfriend's a dick.
It's quite nice being
away from it all actually.
I like spending
time with you here.
♪ As late as the hour may be ♪
♪ Gimme your love ♪
♪ I need your
love so bad ♪
♪ Gimme your love ♪
♪ I need your
love so bad ♪
- Purple, rude,
ring, pinkie.
- It's a bit late.
Have a seat.
Want a beer?
There you go, it's all right.
It's okay.
So where you been?
What
like a boyfriend?
Look at you, my little
girl's all grown up.
- I'm not your
little girl, Mike.
- Okay. So do you
have a boyfriend?
It's okay if you do.
I mean are you using
protection, are you-
- Oh stop.
Yeah, goodnight Mike.
- I'm just playing.
- Goodnight.
I got whatever I could
before Mom woke up.
There's a lot.
There's lollies and chewy.
These are really good.
Oh and lollies
with bugs in them.
- Wait, what's that?
Strawberry milk.
Do you want some?
- Strawberry milk?
- It's really good.
You'll like it.
Purple promise.
Okay no, don't
choke, don't choke.
All right, hang on.
Guess what else I brought?
My mother
said the fences
were the walls
of her womb.
Said she could only protect
me if I stayed inside,
away from everyone,
from everything.
- I made these.
These ones are my favourite.
Brave. Badass.
I'm gonna sell them at
the market or something.
They're my ticket outta here.
- Where do you want to go?
Somewhere. Anywhere.
Do you like them?
They're
very... colourful.
- Okay.
Tell me one thing that
you like about yourself.
Okay...
I'll tell you.
- You hardly know me.
- I know enough.
Smart?
Aren't you?
What else?
Am I pretty?
Now choose your
favourite colour from here.
- I think I like this one.
- Turquoise.
- Turquoise.
Yeah. I like turquoise.
- Okay, what you do,
thread, hold it.
You're a natural.
You'll have to help me.
Come on!
It's 200,000 degrees.
Come on.
What's wrong?
The best way to overcome
a fear is to confront it.
I'm serious.
- Right.
- I heard it on the
TV and everything.
Come on.
Come on.
Hey, hey.
- You can't tell me
that didn't feel good?
- How deep is it?
- It's not deep.
See?
You're okay.
Come on, I'll help
you through it.
- Okay.
- You ready?
- Don't. Okay.
Three, two.
- Claudia, Claudia, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Okay breathe in, breathe in.
And out.
Breathe with me.
Hey, breathe with me.
In, out.
Breathe in, out.
Hey.
Hey.
Keep looking at me.
Okay?
- Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
- It's okay.
Three, two, one.
Go ah.
I'm so bad at this.
Did you see that?!
Oh, lucky charm.
You can have it.
- Can I still eat it?
- Feel lucky?
- Yeah.
I don't really know how
I'm supposed to be feeling.
You make me think
that all the stuff my
mom taught me in class,
about the world being cruel,
about people being monsters,
is all a lie.
- How do you know
I'm not a monster?
- Do you think you are?
- Not many people
like me, though.
- Because monsters only
like other monsters.
Welcome.
I've got that poem
here somewhere.
Okay.
'When Day is Over'
by Lesbia Harford.
When day is over I
climb up the stair,
take off my dark dress,
pull down my hair,
open my window and
look at the stars.
Then my heart breaks
through these prison bars
of space and darkness
and finds what is true
Up past the stars
where I'm one with you.
- I like that image
of a heart breaking
through prison bars.
Can I feel it?
- Feel what?
- Your heart.
- Can you hear it?
- Yeah.
- Is it okay?
- Yeah.
- It should be
broken, shouldn't it?
- Shock can make you numb and...
- I don't feel numb.
I feel more alive
than I've ever felt.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have said that.
- Your mom would
have wanted you to be happy.
- Maybe you should go.
What?
- I need you to go.
I need you to go.
- Claudia-
- I said go.
Go!
Get out!
My mother said there
would come a time
when we would have to leave.
We talked about it for months.
About how we would be
light again, without pain.
But when the time
came, I couldn't do it.
I left her sinking
further and further
and further.
Tilly?
♪ And so what if
you were right ♪
♪ And it's too late
to make a change ♪
♪ Or you didn't even try ♪
♪ If you despair the morning ♪
♪ I will try to lift
our spirits higher ♪
- Shut up.
♪ Dim the lights so we
can unwind in disguise ♪
♪ Play the record, make me
move backwards in time ♪
We are
getting out of here.
♪ It's late at night
and I am blinded ♪
♪ With the city
lights in my eyes ♪
- Grace.
Hey,
there's a dog here.
Oh, hey,
what's your name buddy?
- Tilly, no.
- Tilly.
Aren't you a
beautiful girl, huh?
See?
I told you it was worth a look.
- Just take her out to the car.
I'll give the place
a bit of a once over.
- Okay.
Come on, come on.
- "Diving into concrete".
- Good girl.
What's that?
Signed copy
of one of her books.
Who's it addressed to?
- Why?
- 'Cause why would she keep
a signed copy of her own book?
- My darling, Claudia.
I love you more
than anything.
You are my world.
- Who's Claudia?
That could be a lead.
- So it's a murder
investigation now?
- We don't know!
- Where are you headed?
- I'm just going for a ride.
Tilly?
You know this dog?
- Yeah, yeah I've been
looking for her all morning.
Where'd you find her?
- Up at Veronica Fox's place.
Any idea what she'd
be doing there?
- Nah.
Nah, we're always finding
her in weird places.
- I've never seen a
dog up at your place.
- Well she's an inside
dog... and she's shy.
Tilly, hey, hey.
- Well she looks
happy to see you.
You should put an
address on that collar.
- I will.
Thanks for finding her.
Alright, let's go.
- Okay.
Careful on the road.
Stay away from the res.
- Yes.
Let's get you back
to your mama, okay?
She's gonna be beside herself.
Come on Tilly,
let's go, let's go.
Good girl!
I'm gonna race ya.
I'm gonna race ya.
♪ Do you really want
to turn me away? ♪
♪ Do you really want
to tell me no? ♪
Claudia?
It's me.
- Oh Tilly.
Tilly.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- I saw the cops.
They're not coming back.
Please
don't leave again.
- I won't.
I won't.
Coffee.
- I never tried it.
- Me neither,
but I've always wanted to have
black coffee in the morning.
You know, one day I'm gonna
be one of those ladies
that sits on
her back porch
and reads the newspaper
and has her coffee
and just like sighs at
everything with total
satisfaction.
- I can see that.
You'd be wearing a long
dress and lots of jewels.
- Mm. Okay.
Cheers, darling.
That's disgusting.
- That's so gross.
Wait, wait, wait.
I know how to fix this.
Wait one sec, one sec, one sec.
So.
- What are those?
- We don't have any sugar
cubes or anything, but,
I've got these.
- What do they taste...
Mm, mm, yum.
Yeah.
- So fluffy, like clouds.
- Clouds.
- Like clouds, I know.
So good.
♪ Honey, now every
day is sunny ♪
♪ You put your hand in
mine and I know I'll be fine ♪
- Thank you.
♪ I pray that this
is gonna stick ♪
- I've been thinking that
maybe we could
redecorate your room.
- Why?
- You know, for a bit of colour.
I don't know, it feels weird
changing our room so soon.
- Our room?
- Yeah, mine and Mom's.
- Oh.
I wouldn't know how to do it.
Do what?
- Decorate.
Well, lucky you got me.
Okay.
Let's start
with the walls.
- Are we going to paint them?
- Better.
- Do you know all these people?
- I wish.
Here.
- What do we do with them?
- We're gonna stick
them on your walls.
These are your new
guardian angels.
The trick with collaging
is not to overthink it.
Just put 'em up wherever it
feels right and it can be messy.
It's Tavi Gevinson.
- What's she like?
- Clever.
That's Joan Didion and Beyonce.
Okay.
- I love it.
- Now the bed.
What are you doing?
- You'll see.
Go on, take your covers off.
- How many do we need?
- I don't know,
I guess it depends how
dark we want the dye to be.
- Not too dark.
- Hope it turns out to be
purple rather than blue.
Same.
- Well, whatever the colour is,
it'll be way better than white.
It's like
a cubby house.
Come in here.
Ow.
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah, just
got a prickle.
- Let me see.
Better?
Better?
Better?
Mm mm.
Better?
♪ Oh, signs are lit ♪
♪ Down on Front Street ♪
♪ I see the women,
they're thinking ♪
♪ On the clock how
they wanna pack it up ♪
♪ They wanna
get in touch ♪
♪ They wanna leave ♪
♪ Oh, stop fever
dreaming nights ♪
♪ Too hot to get sleep ♪
♪ But it wouldn't
make any difference ♪
♪ Oh, oh oh, heatwave ♪
♪ Oh oh, again ♪
♪ Oh oh, heatwave ♪
♪ Oh oh, again ♪
- Are you eating your necklace?
- Yeah, try it.
It's good.
I've got bracelets too.
- Mm, so yummy.
- Beautiful.
- Why did you do that?
- All will be revealed
in about five minutes.
Hey, guess the flavour.
- Apple.
- Beginner's luck.
All right...
This one.
- Mm, I love this one.
Watermelon.
- You'll never guess this one.
It's really hard.
It's limited edition.
- Do you give up?
- No, no, I...
- Do you want a hint?
- Yeah.
I've never tasted if before.
- It's cola.
- Cola.
- Do you want another?
Okay.
- Strawberry?
It reminds me of
strawberry milk.
Do you think that someone's
going to come looking for you?
- No one really cares to do
that sort of thing with me.
Which is fine.
- Not even if you stay out late?
- Probably not.
- Not even if you
stay overnight?
Do you like it?
- I love it.
- I think I really like you.
- I think I really like you too.
I don't know what to do.
- Me neither.
- Maybe we can start
by breathing together.
Okay in...
And out.
In...
And out.
♪ My little darlin'
knows my nature ♪
♪ Oh my little darlin'
knows my mind ♪
♪ She has sheltered me
from it all the time ♪
♪ If left alone to
my own devices ♪
♪ I will tear at the carpet
I'll chew the blinds ♪
♪ A more feral specimen
you won't find ♪
♪ But every year I
am getting older ♪
♪ And I lose my good
looks, lose my charms ♪
♪ All I used to lure
you into my arms ♪
♪ Who could blame
you being cynical ♪
♪ You're right the
world it is a crypt ♪
♪ It's pitiless and cold ♪
- Wait, it's hard to
do it at the same time.
- I know.
Oh, Tilly!
Don't watch.
Come on, come on.
I'm so sorry, that's
so embarrassing.
- Don't look at me
from over there.
Come back.
- You are so beautiful.
♪ I never learned to
trust a love song ♪
♪ It was not because
the words were trite ♪
♪ But I felt the love
itself was trite ♪
♪ I will be your
witness if you be mine ♪
♪ I will be your
witness if you be mine ♪
♪ I will be your witness
if you be my wife ♪
Grace?
Gracie?
- Get in here.
What's this about a fucking dog?
Beautiful Claudia.
Now is the time to explore
who you really are.
Play, experiment,
be colourful and messy and free.
I'll be right here by your side.
♪ I would never leave
you broken hearted ♪
I purple promise.
♪ You'll never be alone,
no need to feel discarded ♪
Love G.
♪ As long as I'm alive,
I'll finish what I started ♪
♪ What I started ♪
- She's 16, Grace.
- What's your point?
What's your point?
- Hey!
- It's the law.
The law says that
if you're under 17,
then you're a kid.
- Yeah, but I'm
taking care of her.
- Grace, listen to me.
You cannot be
her guardian.
Please but I'm...
- It's only a year or so.
She'll be fine.
- This is bullshit.
- Get back in the house
Right now.
She's here.
I'll go get her.
- Claudia.
No, no.
No, no.
Let me out, let me out!
My mother said to
hold on tight and not let go.
No matter what.
Never let go.
- Claudia!
Claudia, no!
- That's a good one, my darling.
Stay with me.
Everything that's been
hard and dark and heavy
is gonna go away
my darling girl.
Stay with me now.
Are you going to stay with me?
Stay with me, my darling.
- Claudia!
Claudia!
Claudia!
Claudia.
- What do we do?
- Hey, hey Claudia look at me.
Hey, look at me.
- Yeah?
- Look at me.
We're gonna be okay.
Okay?
I promise you.
We're gonna be okay.
You have to believe me.
Okay?
- Do you purple promise?
- I purple promise.
Breathe with me.
Breathe in,
and out.
Breathe in,
and out.
In... and out.
♪ Oh, signs are lit ♪
♪ Down on Front Street ♪
♪ I see the women
they're thinking ♪
♪ On the clock how
they wanna pack it up ♪
♪ They wanna
get in touch ♪
♪ They wanna leave ♪
♪ Oh, stop ♪
♪ I can't take no more,
this heat won't let me ♪
♪ Think straight
for even a minute ♪
♪ Oh, stop ♪
♪ Fever dreaming nights,
too hot to get sleep ♪
♪ But it wouldn't
make any difference ♪
♪ Oh, oh oh, heatwave ♪
♪ Oh oh, again ♪
under there my entire life.
Wrapped in yellow
blankets, like a baby,
swaddled too tight.
I was sinking
further and further
and just when I was about
to run out of breath,
something pulled me out.
Something in the trees.
A light.
A glow.
Is
someone hungry?
Huh?
- Hello?
- Tilly...
- Hey
Hello, come here.
Hello.
What's your name?
Tilly, Tilly.
Where are you off to?
Hey...
It's okay.
Your dog's really cute.
- Don't take her.
- I just wanted to
make sure you're okay.
Are you okay?
- How did you know I was here?
- Well, I was there last
night at the reservoir.
I saw what happened.
I won't tell anyone.
I pinky promise.
What are you
doing with your finger?
- Haven't you heard
of a pinky promise?
Well, it means more
than a normal handshake.
So, what's your name?
- Claudia.
- I'm Grace.
- What colour are
the other fingers?
If this one is pink, what
colour are the others?
- It's not that it's pink. It's
just called your pinky finger.
And the other ones all
have different names.
You know them, right?
- First, second, third-
- Mm mm, mm mm.
Pinky, ring.
Rude.
- What makes it rude?
- No.
- What?
- Just, don't do that.
It's like saying
something really mean,
but with your finger.
Do you wanna come
and sit with me?
Can I come and
visit you sometime?
- No one can know I'm here. If
they find out, they'll take me
away.
- I won't tell anyone.
It can be our secret.
- Purple promise?
- Purple promise.
It was her, Grace.
The glow on the bank.
The pull from the trees.
She's not of this place.
- Do you want me to have a
nervous breakdown Grace, is that
it?
- No Mom.
- Why the fuck
are the cops here?
- I don't know.
- What the hell you
been up to, young lady?
- I've not done a fucking thing.
Hey, hey listen, hey.
Don't talk to her like that.
We just need
to ask her a few more questions.
Okay, so I'm Detective Croydon.
This is my partner,
Detective Jones.
We just wanted to clarify
what you saw at
the res last night.
- So you saw some
thrashing in the water
and then you said you saw a
girl running away from the res.
And we are not sure who that is.
- See, the deceased didn't
have any kids or family.
So we think that it might
have been a visitor,
or someone from out of town,
Now, is there anything
you can tell us about-
- Look.
- We really need
you to think, okay?
- It's a scorpion in a lollipop.
What'd she look like?
light hair, dark hair.
- Yeah look, I don't
really think I saw a girl.
- No girl?
- No, it was dark.
And I was on my own and
I think I got freaked.
And saw things that
weren't actually there.
I've got a really
overactive imagination.
Mom says it all the time.
- So wait, let me
get this straight.
There was no girl
- But you did say-
- Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm saying that I
think I got carried away
when I was speaking to
the officer last night.
There was no girl.
But I definitely saw a woman,
an older lady walking into the
water and then the thrashing.
- Right...
So you saw an older woman
walking into the water
- Yeah, that author lady
who lives by the res.
I recognised her from the
back of one of her books.
- Veronica Fox.
- Yeah. That's her.
She just walked into the
water and didn't come out.
It was fucked.
- Well, sounds
about right.
- Cool.
So... I'm good?
I'm not in trouble?
- No.
You're not in trouble.
Like I said, we just wanted
to clarify a few things.
- Cool.
- You've been a big help.
Thank you, Grace.
- Hey, what you saw
must've be really scary.
You got someone to talk to
about it if you need to?
- Yeah.
Lessons my darling.
My darling girl, what's wrong?
- I don't know.
- Oh my sweet.
You having bad thoughts again?
Oh my darling.
It's okay.
It's okay my darling, it's okay.
Shh, shh, shh.
Sweetheart
Breathing in... and out.
Sweet love, you're
doing so well.
Just breathe in.
Stay with me my
darling, it's all okay.
Shh, shh, shh.
Sweet love, it's okay.
It's okay, stay with me.
Stay with me.
Shh, shh, shh.
My darling, it's okay.
Slow it down, shh, shh, shh.
It's okay.
We're nearly there, my darling.
We are nearly there.
Breathe in.
- And out.
Breathe in... and out.
Good. Breathe in... and out.
- Where...
- What?
- Where did my mom go?
What did I do to her?
Nothing, hey Claudia, it's me.
It's me, Grace.
Hey. Remember?
No, no, no, please.
Claudia please.
Come back. Wait.
Claudia.
Claudia!
Claudia!
Claudia!
Claudia! Claudia!
Claudia!
Hey.
Claudia.
- I should be with her.
I should be with her.
- You can't be seen here.
You don't want to
be found do you?
Hey, let's go home.
Yeah?
Let me take you home
where it's safe.
Oh, you have to
look in the mirror.
- Why?
- Just do it.
Can I do you?
- I've got too much
hair, it won't work.
- Get in.
- You like it here?
- In the tub?
- No, I mean, in this house.
- I guess.
Why don't
you ever leave?
- I've left before.
- I don't think the res counts.
- It's on the outside.
- Yeah, but I mean
like the real outside.
- Mom said there's
nothing but pain there.
- She said that?
- She came from there.
She said that it was
filled with selfish people
who didn't treat
each other very well.
- So you've really
never been past the res?
- Why would I?
- I don't know, to go to school,
see a doctor,
go to your grandparents'
houses and have cups of tea
and listen to the same
story 10 times over.
I mean, I can't
believe it.
- Why are you laughing?
So no one
knows you exist?
- You do.
You can look in the mirror now.
- Hmm, you're
quite good at this.
- Yeah.
- I've never read any
of your mom's books.
I hear they're
really depressing.
- Mom said I'm not allowed
to read them until I turn 18.
- How old are you now?
- 16.
- Same.
Lord, how unutterably
disgusting life is.
What dirty tricks
it plays on us.
Here we are among
the breadcrumbs
and the stained napkins again.
The knife is
already con...
- Congealing.
- Congealing with grease.
Disorder, sor...
- Sordidity.
Sordidity and
corruption surrounds us.
Call the waiter, pay the
bill, we must pull ourselves
up out of our chairs.
We must find our coats.
We must go.
- Must, must, must...
detestable word.
- I who had thought
myself immune
find that the wave has tumbled
me over head over heels,
leaving me to summon my forces,
rise and confront the enemy.
Why was that page marked?
- Mom was showing
it to me in class.
- Wow.
- What?
- I thought my mom was fucked.
Sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I shouldn't
have said that.
- Mom just felt
everybody's pain.
But she's free now.
What's your mom like?
- Mmm, she kinda sucks.
- Why?
- She just, she has
a lot of problems
and her
boyfriend's a dick.
It's quite nice being
away from it all actually.
I like spending
time with you here.
♪ As late as the hour may be ♪
♪ Gimme your love ♪
♪ I need your
love so bad ♪
♪ Gimme your love ♪
♪ I need your
love so bad ♪
- Purple, rude,
ring, pinkie.
- It's a bit late.
Have a seat.
Want a beer?
There you go, it's all right.
It's okay.
So where you been?
What
like a boyfriend?
Look at you, my little
girl's all grown up.
- I'm not your
little girl, Mike.
- Okay. So do you
have a boyfriend?
It's okay if you do.
I mean are you using
protection, are you-
- Oh stop.
Yeah, goodnight Mike.
- I'm just playing.
- Goodnight.
I got whatever I could
before Mom woke up.
There's a lot.
There's lollies and chewy.
These are really good.
Oh and lollies
with bugs in them.
- Wait, what's that?
Strawberry milk.
Do you want some?
- Strawberry milk?
- It's really good.
You'll like it.
Purple promise.
Okay no, don't
choke, don't choke.
All right, hang on.
Guess what else I brought?
My mother
said the fences
were the walls
of her womb.
Said she could only protect
me if I stayed inside,
away from everyone,
from everything.
- I made these.
These ones are my favourite.
Brave. Badass.
I'm gonna sell them at
the market or something.
They're my ticket outta here.
- Where do you want to go?
Somewhere. Anywhere.
Do you like them?
They're
very... colourful.
- Okay.
Tell me one thing that
you like about yourself.
Okay...
I'll tell you.
- You hardly know me.
- I know enough.
Smart?
Aren't you?
What else?
Am I pretty?
Now choose your
favourite colour from here.
- I think I like this one.
- Turquoise.
- Turquoise.
Yeah. I like turquoise.
- Okay, what you do,
thread, hold it.
You're a natural.
You'll have to help me.
Come on!
It's 200,000 degrees.
Come on.
What's wrong?
The best way to overcome
a fear is to confront it.
I'm serious.
- Right.
- I heard it on the
TV and everything.
Come on.
Come on.
Hey, hey.
- You can't tell me
that didn't feel good?
- How deep is it?
- It's not deep.
See?
You're okay.
Come on, I'll help
you through it.
- Okay.
- You ready?
- Don't. Okay.
Three, two.
- Claudia, Claudia, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Okay breathe in, breathe in.
And out.
Breathe with me.
Hey, breathe with me.
In, out.
Breathe in, out.
Hey.
Hey.
Keep looking at me.
Okay?
- Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
- It's okay.
Three, two, one.
Go ah.
I'm so bad at this.
Did you see that?!
Oh, lucky charm.
You can have it.
- Can I still eat it?
- Feel lucky?
- Yeah.
I don't really know how
I'm supposed to be feeling.
You make me think
that all the stuff my
mom taught me in class,
about the world being cruel,
about people being monsters,
is all a lie.
- How do you know
I'm not a monster?
- Do you think you are?
- Not many people
like me, though.
- Because monsters only
like other monsters.
Welcome.
I've got that poem
here somewhere.
Okay.
'When Day is Over'
by Lesbia Harford.
When day is over I
climb up the stair,
take off my dark dress,
pull down my hair,
open my window and
look at the stars.
Then my heart breaks
through these prison bars
of space and darkness
and finds what is true
Up past the stars
where I'm one with you.
- I like that image
of a heart breaking
through prison bars.
Can I feel it?
- Feel what?
- Your heart.
- Can you hear it?
- Yeah.
- Is it okay?
- Yeah.
- It should be
broken, shouldn't it?
- Shock can make you numb and...
- I don't feel numb.
I feel more alive
than I've ever felt.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have said that.
- Your mom would
have wanted you to be happy.
- Maybe you should go.
What?
- I need you to go.
I need you to go.
- Claudia-
- I said go.
Go!
Get out!
My mother said there
would come a time
when we would have to leave.
We talked about it for months.
About how we would be
light again, without pain.
But when the time
came, I couldn't do it.
I left her sinking
further and further
and further.
Tilly?
♪ And so what if
you were right ♪
♪ And it's too late
to make a change ♪
♪ Or you didn't even try ♪
♪ If you despair the morning ♪
♪ I will try to lift
our spirits higher ♪
- Shut up.
♪ Dim the lights so we
can unwind in disguise ♪
♪ Play the record, make me
move backwards in time ♪
We are
getting out of here.
♪ It's late at night
and I am blinded ♪
♪ With the city
lights in my eyes ♪
- Grace.
Hey,
there's a dog here.
Oh, hey,
what's your name buddy?
- Tilly, no.
- Tilly.
Aren't you a
beautiful girl, huh?
See?
I told you it was worth a look.
- Just take her out to the car.
I'll give the place
a bit of a once over.
- Okay.
Come on, come on.
- "Diving into concrete".
- Good girl.
What's that?
Signed copy
of one of her books.
Who's it addressed to?
- Why?
- 'Cause why would she keep
a signed copy of her own book?
- My darling, Claudia.
I love you more
than anything.
You are my world.
- Who's Claudia?
That could be a lead.
- So it's a murder
investigation now?
- We don't know!
- Where are you headed?
- I'm just going for a ride.
Tilly?
You know this dog?
- Yeah, yeah I've been
looking for her all morning.
Where'd you find her?
- Up at Veronica Fox's place.
Any idea what she'd
be doing there?
- Nah.
Nah, we're always finding
her in weird places.
- I've never seen a
dog up at your place.
- Well she's an inside
dog... and she's shy.
Tilly, hey, hey.
- Well she looks
happy to see you.
You should put an
address on that collar.
- I will.
Thanks for finding her.
Alright, let's go.
- Okay.
Careful on the road.
Stay away from the res.
- Yes.
Let's get you back
to your mama, okay?
She's gonna be beside herself.
Come on Tilly,
let's go, let's go.
Good girl!
I'm gonna race ya.
I'm gonna race ya.
♪ Do you really want
to turn me away? ♪
♪ Do you really want
to tell me no? ♪
Claudia?
It's me.
- Oh Tilly.
Tilly.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- I saw the cops.
They're not coming back.
Please
don't leave again.
- I won't.
I won't.
Coffee.
- I never tried it.
- Me neither,
but I've always wanted to have
black coffee in the morning.
You know, one day I'm gonna
be one of those ladies
that sits on
her back porch
and reads the newspaper
and has her coffee
and just like sighs at
everything with total
satisfaction.
- I can see that.
You'd be wearing a long
dress and lots of jewels.
- Mm. Okay.
Cheers, darling.
That's disgusting.
- That's so gross.
Wait, wait, wait.
I know how to fix this.
Wait one sec, one sec, one sec.
So.
- What are those?
- We don't have any sugar
cubes or anything, but,
I've got these.
- What do they taste...
Mm, mm, yum.
Yeah.
- So fluffy, like clouds.
- Clouds.
- Like clouds, I know.
So good.
♪ Honey, now every
day is sunny ♪
♪ You put your hand in
mine and I know I'll be fine ♪
- Thank you.
♪ I pray that this
is gonna stick ♪
- I've been thinking that
maybe we could
redecorate your room.
- Why?
- You know, for a bit of colour.
I don't know, it feels weird
changing our room so soon.
- Our room?
- Yeah, mine and Mom's.
- Oh.
I wouldn't know how to do it.
Do what?
- Decorate.
Well, lucky you got me.
Okay.
Let's start
with the walls.
- Are we going to paint them?
- Better.
- Do you know all these people?
- I wish.
Here.
- What do we do with them?
- We're gonna stick
them on your walls.
These are your new
guardian angels.
The trick with collaging
is not to overthink it.
Just put 'em up wherever it
feels right and it can be messy.
It's Tavi Gevinson.
- What's she like?
- Clever.
That's Joan Didion and Beyonce.
Okay.
- I love it.
- Now the bed.
What are you doing?
- You'll see.
Go on, take your covers off.
- How many do we need?
- I don't know,
I guess it depends how
dark we want the dye to be.
- Not too dark.
- Hope it turns out to be
purple rather than blue.
Same.
- Well, whatever the colour is,
it'll be way better than white.
It's like
a cubby house.
Come in here.
Ow.
- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah, just
got a prickle.
- Let me see.
Better?
Better?
Better?
Mm mm.
Better?
♪ Oh, signs are lit ♪
♪ Down on Front Street ♪
♪ I see the women,
they're thinking ♪
♪ On the clock how
they wanna pack it up ♪
♪ They wanna
get in touch ♪
♪ They wanna leave ♪
♪ Oh, stop fever
dreaming nights ♪
♪ Too hot to get sleep ♪
♪ But it wouldn't
make any difference ♪
♪ Oh, oh oh, heatwave ♪
♪ Oh oh, again ♪
♪ Oh oh, heatwave ♪
♪ Oh oh, again ♪
- Are you eating your necklace?
- Yeah, try it.
It's good.
I've got bracelets too.
- Mm, so yummy.
- Beautiful.
- Why did you do that?
- All will be revealed
in about five minutes.
Hey, guess the flavour.
- Apple.
- Beginner's luck.
All right...
This one.
- Mm, I love this one.
Watermelon.
- You'll never guess this one.
It's really hard.
It's limited edition.
- Do you give up?
- No, no, I...
- Do you want a hint?
- Yeah.
I've never tasted if before.
- It's cola.
- Cola.
- Do you want another?
Okay.
- Strawberry?
It reminds me of
strawberry milk.
Do you think that someone's
going to come looking for you?
- No one really cares to do
that sort of thing with me.
Which is fine.
- Not even if you stay out late?
- Probably not.
- Not even if you
stay overnight?
Do you like it?
- I love it.
- I think I really like you.
- I think I really like you too.
I don't know what to do.
- Me neither.
- Maybe we can start
by breathing together.
Okay in...
And out.
In...
And out.
♪ My little darlin'
knows my nature ♪
♪ Oh my little darlin'
knows my mind ♪
♪ She has sheltered me
from it all the time ♪
♪ If left alone to
my own devices ♪
♪ I will tear at the carpet
I'll chew the blinds ♪
♪ A more feral specimen
you won't find ♪
♪ But every year I
am getting older ♪
♪ And I lose my good
looks, lose my charms ♪
♪ All I used to lure
you into my arms ♪
♪ Who could blame
you being cynical ♪
♪ You're right the
world it is a crypt ♪
♪ It's pitiless and cold ♪
- Wait, it's hard to
do it at the same time.
- I know.
Oh, Tilly!
Don't watch.
Come on, come on.
I'm so sorry, that's
so embarrassing.
- Don't look at me
from over there.
Come back.
- You are so beautiful.
♪ I never learned to
trust a love song ♪
♪ It was not because
the words were trite ♪
♪ But I felt the love
itself was trite ♪
♪ I will be your
witness if you be mine ♪
♪ I will be your
witness if you be mine ♪
♪ I will be your witness
if you be my wife ♪
Grace?
Gracie?
- Get in here.
What's this about a fucking dog?
Beautiful Claudia.
Now is the time to explore
who you really are.
Play, experiment,
be colourful and messy and free.
I'll be right here by your side.
♪ I would never leave
you broken hearted ♪
I purple promise.
♪ You'll never be alone,
no need to feel discarded ♪
Love G.
♪ As long as I'm alive,
I'll finish what I started ♪
♪ What I started ♪
- She's 16, Grace.
- What's your point?
What's your point?
- Hey!
- It's the law.
The law says that
if you're under 17,
then you're a kid.
- Yeah, but I'm
taking care of her.
- Grace, listen to me.
You cannot be
her guardian.
Please but I'm...
- It's only a year or so.
She'll be fine.
- This is bullshit.
- Get back in the house
Right now.
She's here.
I'll go get her.
- Claudia.
No, no.
No, no.
Let me out, let me out!
My mother said to
hold on tight and not let go.
No matter what.
Never let go.
- Claudia!
Claudia, no!
- That's a good one, my darling.
Stay with me.
Everything that's been
hard and dark and heavy
is gonna go away
my darling girl.
Stay with me now.
Are you going to stay with me?
Stay with me, my darling.
- Claudia!
Claudia!
Claudia!
Claudia.
- What do we do?
- Hey, hey Claudia look at me.
Hey, look at me.
- Yeah?
- Look at me.
We're gonna be okay.
Okay?
I promise you.
We're gonna be okay.
You have to believe me.
Okay?
- Do you purple promise?
- I purple promise.
Breathe with me.
Breathe in,
and out.
Breathe in,
and out.
In... and out.
♪ Oh, signs are lit ♪
♪ Down on Front Street ♪
♪ I see the women
they're thinking ♪
♪ On the clock how
they wanna pack it up ♪
♪ They wanna
get in touch ♪
♪ They wanna leave ♪
♪ Oh, stop ♪
♪ I can't take no more,
this heat won't let me ♪
♪ Think straight
for even a minute ♪
♪ Oh, stop ♪
♪ Fever dreaming nights,
too hot to get sleep ♪
♪ But it wouldn't
make any difference ♪
♪ Oh, oh oh, heatwave ♪
♪ Oh oh, again ♪