My Dad's Christmas Date (2020) - full transcript

You better get up, babe.

Jules has got to go to school.

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Sleigh ♪

What are yo... Come on.
What yo... I was enjoying that.

- I definitely wasn't.
- Come on.

That is a Christmas classic.

- Yeah, it was doing my head in.
- Oh, come on. Anything but this.



- Mm-mm.
- Please.

Jules.

- Julia. Please.
- No. Mm-mm.

All right.

Dad, seriously?

Finally. Now she responds.

Do not call me "she."

Anything exciting
going on in school today?

- Nothing.
- What about choir?

- Hmm.
- All right.

- Politics?
- Seriously?

We both know there's absolutely no
point having an opinion on politics.

- Why is that?
- Because no matter who you vote for,

the country's
still going to go to shit,



so it's completely pointless.

Where di... Where did you
get that from?

Miss Garver.

- Miss Garver?
- Yeah.

- Miss Garver...
- Yeah.

...and I are going to have
a little heart to heart.

Dad, I am entitled
to my own opinion.

Yeah, but, honey, that's not your
opinion, that's her opinion.

You're just being pedantic now.

I think you mean
I'm being patronizing.

- This is exactly why I hate speaking to you.
- Why?

Because you ask me a question,
I answer it,

- and then you just take great delight in just...
- Honey, I...

- ...picking the answer apart.
- I... I want you to embrace

your opinion, honey.
I just don't want you

- to take everything at face value.
- Well, I'm not!

Just because
it's Miss Garver's opinion,

doesn't mean that
I don't agree with it,

and I think,
"Yeah, you know what?

You're right, Miss Garver."

No, no, I... Listen, honey,

that's not what I said, okay?

- I... I didn't said...
- It's what you meant, exactly what you meant.

- What's that?
- But that's what you said, though.

That's...
that's exactly what you said.

What I meant was,
I want you to feel comfortable

to question things.

Just because I'm a woman,
I can't think for myself, right?

This has nothing to do
with you being a woman.

You know that, come on.

- Right. Mm-hmm.
- It doesn't.

Well, I'm sorry that I attempted
to have a conversation at all.

Why, I never asked you
to speak to me, did I?

Well, lesson learned.

Gripes and pet peeves, folks.

020-7946-7946.

We've already heard
from Tom in Copley,

and Harriet in Birmingham,

about her pavement pizza
on a Saturday night.

And now, we've got a message
from Jules, in York, who says,

"My dad talks like a sexist pig.

How do I get him
to leave me alone?"

That is an easy one, Jules.

Quite simply, tell your dad to...

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Let there be love ♪

So, how are we getting on,
Miss Evans?

We're fine, Mr. Thompson.

No worries or concerns?

- No.
- It's just that your, um...

marks have dropped
a bit this term.

Actually, quite a lot.

Uh, I know
your situation is, um...

singular. But I was wondering if your
work is suffering because of the...

long-term implications
of your...

mother's...

- Death.
- Yes.

- No.
- Good.

Bi... biscuit?

I'm all right.

- Shall I go?
- Yeah.

I don't see why
they get so much hate.

They were madly in love.

They remained devoted
to one another

despite forced marriages
to other people,

war, injury.

And they died
in each other's arms.

It's a classic romance.

But Cersei and Jaime were twins.

A technicality.

Bitch table.

Speaking of romance, have you
told your dad about lover boy?

No, because he'd have a stroke.

He's going to find out sometime.

Not if I can help it.

What if you get pregnant?

Can't get pregnant
if you don't have sex, Em.

Tell that to the Virgin Mary.
She was just minding her own business,

- milking some goat in Iran.
- Israel.

That's the one. Then bam!

She's carrying the son of God.

It may take him seven days
to create the world,

but he can knock you up
with the click of his fingers.

I'll bear that in mind.

So, what are we going to do
about your poor dad?

He must be lonely.
And also, he's really fit.

Em! That is my dad
you're talking about.

He spends his Monday nights
in a church.

Yeah, well,
that was his thing with Mom.

Doesn't exactly scream
social life, though, does it?

If you're so desperate to play Cupid,
why don't you set your brother up?

I would, but by some miracle,
he's got himself a girlfriend.

Oh, my God, I've got it.

We should set your dad up
with someone.

That is really creepy.

Oh, before I forget.

Speaking of moms,

I was thinking
of getting this for Mom.

Cute, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I think she'll really like it.

♪ King Wenceslas last looked out
on the Feast of Stephen ♪

♪ When the snow lay round about
deep and crisp and even ♪

That's all right.

Congratulations, you are officially
the world's worst father.

Thank you, appreciate that.

It's not funny, by the way.

It is a bit.

You know, there was a time

when Jules was happy to see me.

And now, she looks at me, like,

"Say one more word
and I will castrate you

with this crossbow."

Oh, come on, David.

No, no. She's like,
"Enough of your white privilege,

okay, Daddy?
You take it down a little bit,

or me and the rest
of my cellmates will shank you."

God's sake, David, she's 16,
not six. What do you expect?

I mean, Jules is being
pumped full of so many hormones

that, at this stage,
she's closer

to the Incredible Hulk
than Bruce Banner.

So, what's the cure?

Menopause.

Problem solved, thank you.

I'll just fast forward 70 years,
and everybody wins. Success.

- Oh, Je...
- How about this?

- What?
- Why don't you talk to her?

Uh...

How do you plan
to sell that idea?

"Uh, here's my ex-girlfriend,

whom your mom
never really liked,

to talk to you about life and the
many difficulties of womanhood."

Claire loved you. She did.

- She loved you like the plague.
- So, didn't. Oh, dear.

You're right, she hated you.
She hated you.

No, it's just a phase, you know?

She'll get through it.

- When?
- Look, okay,

at least your relationship
with Jules

is nowhere near as bad
as your love life.

I know you've
put on a few pounds

- since we dated. But, uh...
- Really?

...surely you can pay someone
to date you.

There you go. I'm trying
to remember why we're friends.

- I'm coming up empty. No, there's no reason.
- Because...

Because I know how to make you
feel just bad enough

that you consider
changing yourself,

but not so bad that you spunk
your daughter's inheritance

on a Porsche.

This has been a very
special kind of torture.

Oh, my God, it's time to go.

I'm late
for my daughter's rehearsal.

I love you. I am going
to go be a good father.

You're a great life coach,
said no one.

♪ And the running of the deer ♪

♪ The playing
of the merry organ ♪

♪ Sweet singing in the choir ♪

♪ Oh, the rising of the sun ♪

♪ And the running of the deer ♪

Jules, concentrate.

Verse two.

♪ The holly bears a blossom ♪

♪ As white as lily flower ♪

♪ And Mary bore
sweet Jesus Christ ♪

♪ To be our sweet savior ♪

How does it look?

It looks really good, Mom.

Hold on tight.

Merry Christmas, babe.

"Mr. and Mrs. Evans
request the pleasure

of inviting you to share the joy

of their wedding celebration."

Um...

Please,
don't hate me for this, Dad.

How many sites are there?

Okay.

A lot. A lot of sites.

"City Mingles."

"Next Flame."

Whoo, 40-pound membership.

That's a lot.

"Down to Date."

Hmm.

What I'm hearing is,

"Emma, you're a genius.

I never should've doubted you."

I don't know
where you heard that,

but you definitely
need your ears tested.

You look like my aunt.

Right.

You're the one who said
setting your dad up was creepy.

Yeah, because it still is.

- Then, what's changed?
- Um, I don't know.

I just think he needs
to try something new.

Right.

Have you thought about
how we're going to do it?

Uh, yeah. I'm working on it.

- You like these?
- Oh, yeah!

I love that. Definitely.

Okay. Well,
I better get ready for my date.

- Are you excited?
- Um...

Yes.

- How you doing?
- I'm all right.

"Though I have all faith,
so that I could remove mountains

and have not charity,
I am nothing."

Do you feel
more rested now, my dear?

- I do.
- Bless your dear little heart.

Alice.

You know me, darling.
I never thought

there was anyone like you left
in the whole wide world.

Cut me throat, rip me liver
if I'm telling a lie.

This is the happiest
Christmas I ever had.

Hi, Dad.

Hey. How was the movie?

- It was all right.
- It was good?

You've a good time with Emma?

Yeah, I think so.

Can I just ask you
some questions?

It's for this survey at school.

Shoot.

Dad.

- Go ahead.
- Dad, please, look.

It will literally take,
like, two seconds.

- Okay. All right.
- That's all I need.

- Make it quick, though.
- Okay.

Uh, so, your height and weight?

Five feet nine inches,
175 pounds.

There we go.

Uh, exercise habits, if any?

Um, I, um, I sprint to the
refrigerator and eat buckets of lard.

Fair enough.

Uh, do you drink frequently?

Uh...

Yes. Yes, you do.

- Take it easy.
- That's easy. Regularly.

How about
the last book you read?

- What's that?
- Last book you read?

Um...

Uh, John Grisham, and it was the
one that was made into the movie.

Come back to it.

Languages?

I speak English.

- Okay.
- Fluently.

- Good.
- Navigate it really well.

English.

Also, um, I speak Au...

Australian and South African.

Okay. Uh, interests or hobbies?

Uh, I like, uh,

- drama-free children.
- Mm-hm.

Yeah.

Uh, yeah, are you kidding?
Uh, hobbies. Um,

well, you know,
I like, uh, naps, music,

falling asleep in public.

Arts,
none of the modern stuff, um...

- Yeah.
- That's it.

Got you.

- Um... Oh.
- The Reckoning. That's what it was.

That's the name of the book.

Occupation?

- In-house counsel, Whiting Enterprises.
- Lawyer.

And what kind of income
would you get for that kind of...

Wha... What is this for?

Um, it's just like a survey

for secondary school children's
parents in England and Wales.

Oh, okay, in that case,

last book, uh, I read
was War and Peace,

for the 16th time.

Yeah. I have it memorized.

Uh, I speak 11 languages.

- What kind of languages?
- Uh, I speak Thai,

Mandarin, of course. Punjabi.

Yiddish.

- Do you want to give me a little basic show?
- Yeah.

Don't be meshuggeneh, bubeleh.

Wow.

All right?
My little shiksa goddess.

Please, never do that again,
that's just embarrassing.

That's just Hebrew.

- Okay.
- Okay? Get used to it.

Thanks for that.

- Okay, I think we're done. We're done.
- We're done?

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

Okay, you might want
to read those back to me

if I've trouble
sleeping tonight.

Because it feels like
the cure for insomnia,

those questions.

Thank you, Dad.

I hope you got what you needed.

- I did. Right.
- All right.

- Night.
- Shalom.

"To anyone expecting
a glimpse of a...

half-naked handsome hunk..."

You're out of luck.

Whilst you won't get
to enjoy washboard abs,

what you will get is a fun-loving
father who loves to smile.

And, in the interest of honesty,
I am obviously American,

I know how you Brits
love to hate us.

I just wanted
to get that out there.

I love art and classical music,

in an unpretentious way.
I'm not big on messaging.

My daughter says it's
because I'm out of touch.

I am challenged tech...
with technology.

I'm technolog... I'm...
I'm just challenged all around.

I truly believe that you never
really know someone

until you're sitting
across from them.

So please, don't be put off

if I ask to meet you early on.

I lost my wife
in a car crash two years ago.

A piece of my heart
will always be with her.

This is something I cannot help

and will not apologize for.

"But there's plenty
left to share with someone else

if they give me the chance."

It's good, Jules.
I mean, really, really good.

- You think?
- Yeah.

Have you uploaded it?

No.

I'm still not sure
about this, Em.

Fair enough. Crisp?

Yep.

Whoops.

You bitch.

Okay, well, what now?

We wait.

Jules!

How much longer?
We got to get going.

Jules!

Jules!

Jules!

We got to get going, come on.

We got to get there
before it gets dark.

Dad!

Five minutes!

I hate being late.

- Why are we doing this?
- Because Aunt Tammy

and Uncle George are family.

Will Jeremy be here?

Probably, yeah.

- Oh, no.
- Listen,

don't make a scene. Don't do it.

Just let's get through it,

and then
we don't have to see them

until next year, all right?

- Promise?
- Yeah.

And remember,

we're happy to be here.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.

So good to see you both,

if a little later than expected.

Oh, David, you shouldn't have.

Come in. Come in.

Wipe your feet. Carpet's new.

Sorry. Sorry.

And what do you do, dear?

I'm at school.

I beg your pardon?

I'm at school, I said.

Save me.

- Happy Christmas, Clive.
- Happy Christmas, George.

Good to see you again.

Hey, it's appalling, isn't it,
what's going on in Syria.

Oh, heartbreaking.

All those families ripped apart.

- Yeah, it's ter...
- Children orphaned.

Aye, he's not wrong,
David. You're right.

Whereabouts?

In York.

I beg your pardon?

I'm at school in York!

I tell you, we really must

- do more here.
- Absolutely.

What time should we
tee off in the morning?

- I was thinking nine.
- That's a good time, yeah.

Yeah, to get there
before the scumbags do.

Scumbags?
All the people from the Estate.

And what do you do in York?

And we'll be finished
in time for lunch.

- You staying?
- Oh, that's a good idea.

Have you tried
the smoked salmon?

Can't eat it.
Can't, it makes me sick.

Last time I was
on the toilet for four hours.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Like mother, like daughter.

- Excuse me?
- It's for your own good, darling.

No niece of mine
will grow up a drunken bimbo.

How's the rugby
going this year, Jeremy?

Fantastic.
We're looking to get promoted,

and I'm hoping to turn semi-pro.

How exciting!

And Eleanor has an interview

at Oxford next week.

- Which college?
- Oriel.

How about you, Jules?

- What have you been up to?
- School.

And any exciting plans
for the future?

No, nothing.

You better get thinking.

Don't want
to let the family down.

Oh, show them your tattoo.

He's designed it himself.

Who knew you had
such a talented son?

What does it mean?

Excuse me.

- You couldn't take the snobbery as well, huh?
- Yeah.

Just a heads up, though,
you might get a call

- from Aunt Tam in the morning.
- Oh, no, no, no.

Jules, what are you talking...

What did I tell you?

I can't help it,
she was being a bitch.

Don't say that, come on.

Dad, don't be a hypocrite.

- You hate her as much as I do.
- I...

Yes,
but I don't call her a bitch

at her own Christmas party.

Was Mom an alcoholic, Dad?

Who said that?

Was she?

No, of course not.

She liked to drink,
but she wasn't an alcoholic.

She hated these things.

You remember when she dressed up
as a pirate?

- You remember that?
- Yeah.

Tammy was fuming.

"You said
the dress code was fancy."

She had them whole,
she committed.

- It was great.
- Peg leg and then,

"You said
the dress code was fancy."

- One of her best lines.
- Yeah.

Want to go back inside?

Yeah. I'll be in in a sec.

Okay.

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

We're summoning
the dating spirits.

Hello, David. I'm Abi.

I've just seen
your profile page and...

well, I wanted to say
that I also really like

competitive dog grooming.

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

Hi, David, I'm Isobel.

I wonder, could you let me know,

are you a Gryffindor, Slytherin,

Hufflepuff, or a Ravenclaw?

Just so we can work out if we're
totally compatible or not.

Message me.

♪ A sleighing song tonight! ♪

Hey, David, um,

you look like Charlie Sheen.

Has anyone ever told you that?

Um, and I really like
Charlie Sheen.

Right.

Sarah Jane. I saw your profile.

I like your picture.

I find you very attractive.

Feeling a bit sick.

Who'll date your fit father?

Seriously?

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
jingle all the way ♪

Does that help?

Scrooge!

Ah! Humbug! Ah! Humbug!

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

Oh.

Caroline?

Your dad is so popular.

- I know.
- Told you he was fit.

Emma, you really
can't say that anymore.

Natasha?

She's really pretty.

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

Lea.

♪ Let there be love ♪

Jules, where are my clothes?

Uh, I put them in the wash.

All of them?

Well, yeah, you said

that I don't help
around the house.

Well, what am I supposed to wear

for the exhibition?

Oh, no, don't worry, I left...

I left something on your bed.

Well, yeah, there's this...
there's, like, this new exhibition

I thought you might like.

It's gray...

splotches.

- It's kind of fun.
- All right.

Oh, thanks.

It's cool.

- No?
- Um...

Fit in your bedroom. Bit big.

What are we doing here again?

Thought we'd do something
a bit different

this evening, that's all.

All right.

David?

Yes?

Hi.

Hi.

I'm... I'm sorry, we've met?

It's Natasha.

Natasha, of course.

Yes, I'm sorry, I'm just
a little out of it today. Yeah.

It's good to see you.

So, what do you think of this?

It's a poor man's Marin

with some Richteresque flair.

You can see what the artist
is trying to do,

expressing her deep despair
at the state of modern society.

But it's not
tormented enough to move me.

Not caustic enough
in its critique

of our innately selfish culture,

careering as it does
towards catastrophe.

And, so,
fails completely to depict

this bastion
of human consumption.

Don't you agree?

I don't think it looks
anything like Coney Island.

Typical Americans.

Don't leave me.
Seriously, stay with me.

- You're okay?
- Yeah, no, I'm scared.

You're being dramatic.

No, no, she's just like a giant.

- S... I don't know.
- Can't h...

How did she know my name?

- Did you hear that?
- Yes.

I don't understand
what's going...

I do not think I like museums.

We don't like the
wording of clause 10.2.

- What's wrong with it?
- And, on its own,

suggests direct culpability.

We propose, and, comma,

so far as it is
in anybody's control, comma...

That will affect 9.7.

- Gorgeous.
- I thought it was your thing.

It's beautiful. I'm impressed.

- Is that on this property?
- Jules, look at the horses.

- Oh, my God. Will they let us shoot things?
- You know I love horses.

- Can we shoot things?
- No, Dad.

- No?
- You don't even like guns.

- Look at the horses.
- Look at this chair.

- It's a very nice chair.
- Look at this chair.

- Jules.
- No, no, no. Dad, Dad, Dad.

This chair's like you, old.

- Unstable.
- Can't sit there.

It's like a bajillion years old.

What time is it?

Five past three.
She must be in there.

Yeah.

So, I think that they ruined it

because they also have, um...

Talking about work, by the way?

- I'd rather not.
- How can you...

You know what,
let's talk about that.

- I'm sorry, I feel...
- Should meet you in the...

I don't know if they call it

the same thing in this country,

but a receding gums.

Where is she?

Is that her?

You know,
she's been distracted, and I...

No. Shit, that's my dentist.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.

- What are we going to do?
- Don't look at me.

Em, we have to do something.

David, David, David, David!
David, oh!

- How does she know my name?
- I'm so glad to see you!

I have no clue what this is.

There was so much blood!

Blood? Whose blood?

- The blood!
- Don't.

Oh, God, it was horrible!

Me and Max were in the park,

and we were
on our way to the swings

because he loved the swings,

when this pit bull
just went for him!

And the bastard
ripped his throat out.

- Oh, my God!
- And he died in my arms.

- Your son?
- No.

My bloody Chihuahua!

Well, that went well.
Go, go, go.

Been spending more
time with Jules lately.

- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.

Strange, though,
every time we're together,

random women
keep approaching me.

What for? Directions?

No, seriously.
Think they're hitting on me.

- Hitting on you? All of them?
- Yeah.

- Yeah. I'm pretty sure.
- Don't be silly.

Oh! If you say so.

Well, maybe they want money.

Hey, where are you?

Sorry, I lost my phone.

I'll be there in,
like, half an hour.

Half hour?

By the way, you know
how much these tickets cost?

I could've sold
your tiny little liver

- on the black market for less.
- Bloody hell, Dad.

Well, all right,
get here when you can.

Bye, Dad.

Thank you.

I hope you don't dance
like that.

You know
I don't dance like that.

- You've seen me dance.
- Well.

Give me that. Thank you.

I can't believe they're making
you wear this shit, David.

Sorry, do we know each other?

That's her.

Where are you from?

- Berlin.
- Um!

Anywhere interesting
when the wall fell?

I was in the hospital.

Oh. You were right?

I was being pushed out of my mother's vagina.

Freedom. Time to dance.

I...

♪ Comfy shoes take me
for a walk on the ground again ♪

♪ I'm feeling lost
in the ocean ♪

♪ And to be honest
I'm not made for this ♪

♪ Take me somewhere ♪

♪ Where the grass
is a little more comfortable ♪

♪ Where the skies and the trees
are recognizable ♪

♪ Oh, I hope that
the wind is listening ♪

♪ Because I've got
so much stuff to say ♪

♪ I... ♪

♪ I've come such a long way ♪

♪ But where do I go now? ♪

♪ There's
a dead-end in my road ♪

♪ How am I going to feel okay? ♪

♪ I... ♪

♪ I've come such a long way ♪

♪ But where do I go now? ♪

♪ There's
a dead-end in my road ♪

♪ How am I going
to feel okay again? ♪

That goes there.

Hello.

Hey, Dad. Um, how are you?

- I... I've been better.
- Uh, can you just actually take them over there?

- That side?
- Listen. It's... it's chaos over here.

- Over there.
- I... I'm going to have to go, all right?

Yeah, no worries.

So, everything all right?

Yeah, it's all good.
Uh, it's nothing important.

Uh, I'll be home at around 8:30,
and we will speak then.

Okay, yeah. Bye.

Bye-bye.

♪ I've come such a long way ♪

♪ But where do I go now? ♪

♪ There's
a dead-end in my road ♪

♪ How am I going to feel okay? ♪

Hey, it's me.

Sorry to call you,
but I actually need to speak to someone.

Um...

Yeah, it's just been
one of those days.

So, everything's down
on top of me, really.

I'm putting things
into perspective quite a bit.

And...

I don't know.

I can't. Can't.

♪ She was your Eve ♪

♪ But she ate from the tree ♪

♪ Don't blame me ♪

- No. Not yet.
- Come on, let's have some fun.

I'm just not ready.

Okay.

- Is that okay?
- Yeah, fine.

Do you like me?

I'm in your room, aren't I?

Yeah, but do you like me?

You know I like you.

Jules?

Oh, shit.

Can you open the door, please?

- Go, go, move, move!
- Jules.

I'm not going to ask again.

What's going on in there?
I know you're not cleaning

your room.

What's going on?
Why was the music so loud?

I was just going to second base
with my boyfriend,

and I just didn't want
anyone to hear.

Of course you were.

Listen, dinner's on the table...

What's that supposed to mean?

- That I got takeout on the way home from work.
- No, no, no, no.

Oh, you don't think
I can get a boyfriend, do you?

I didn't say that, Jules.

- It's what you meant, though.
- No.

Honey, you know,
I've had a really long day,

- and I... I can't even have this...
- So just tell me what you meant.

Because you don't have
a boyfriend.

Because you never
mentioned a boy, all right?

And I've never seen you
with a boy.

Let's cross the boyfriend bridge
when we get to it.

How, why, who?

Hi...

Don't look at me. Look down.

I'm telling you,
the whole thing was a nightmare.

What did you say?

What could I say?

I... I'm sat across from this kid

who spent the entire evening
alone with my daughter.

Oh, well, I'm sure
it was perfectly innocent.

Yeah, they were about
to go to second base

before I interrupted.

Oh, okay, well.

You know, she's a young woman.

And as long as she's careful

- and it's her choice, so...
- What should I do?

You've got to listen to her

and try not to overreact.

She's got a boyfriend,
not a criminal record.

David, look, uh, I've got to go.

- I'm at the office.
- Yeah, no, thank you.

I appre... I've taken up
enough of your time.

- Thank you, Sara.
- Speak soon.

All right.

Oh.

Um...

All right?

Yeah, yeah.

You?

- Yes, good, yeah.
- Good, good.

- Are they ready to...
- Yes, sure, sure.

Hello, come on, Mom's here.
Hey, hey, hey, there you are.

Oh, look at you,
all dressed for school,

bags and all.

- Okay.
- All right, all right. Bye-bye.

Take care,
take care of you. Okay.

Thanks. Okay. So...

Bye, Daddy, bye.

Did you have fun?

- Yeah, we made cookies.
- Cookies?

Oh, I bet it wasn't as good
as our Victoria sponge, eh?

- I think they were better.
- Better?

You chee... cheeky monkey!

"I've got to come clean."

I messed up. No.

This is just stupid now.

I hate chocolate.

Okay.

Asking him to grow balls
as well is a bit harsh.

My dad's not a dickhead.

Will you, please,
go for a coffee with him?

Yes, yes, yes!

- You want to share a slice of cake?
- Um...

- No. No, I'm good, I'm good, thanks.
- No? All right, then.

Listen, Jules,
I just want to let you know

- that I completely respect...
- No,

- don't go there, please.
- Your...

I haven't said anything.

You were going to ask me
about Ben, though, weren't you?

- Well, I... Thank you.
- Thank you.

I wasn't going
to ask details, okay?

- No. I'm not having this conversation with you.
- No, no, I just...

We're not having any
conversation, I promise you.

Literally, you just tell me
one thing about the guy,

I won't say a word.

So, it's not a conversation.

- No.
- You...

I don't even know
where the guy lives.

- You want to intimidate him, do you? Scare him a bit?
- No, I...

- Maybe I want to send him a Christmas card.
- Oh, no, Dad,

please, don't you dare.
That's so embarrassing.

- Well, Jules, look at me, I'm not...
- Dad. No.

- That's just embarrassing for me. Seriously.
- I'm not asking...

What is... what kind of classes
does the guy like?

- Does he have a passion for origami? Does he...
- I'm not telling you anything.

- Was he born a boy?
- I'm not telling you anything,

- so you might as well just drop it.
- Why not?

Because it's none
of your business.

It is my business.
I'm your father.

Oh, you think
because one of your sperm

fertilized one of Mom's eggs,

- you think you have the right...
- Oh, my God.

...to stick your nose
into every single

nook and cranny
of my personal life?

It actually does.

Actually, no, you don't.

Legally, I do!

All right, I... if I wanted to,

I could ban you from seeing him.

No, go on, then.

No, seriously, I dare you.
Do it!

Go on! No, I actually dare you!

Do it, ban me from seeing Ben.

Use this mystical power
bestowed on you

because of your
crazy amazing sperm

and ban me
from seeing my boyfriend.

Why... why do you have
to be so dramatic?

- What's the point?
- Why do you want to know about Ben?

- Do you think he's a psychopath or something?
- He might be!

I don't know anything about him!

I'm going to go
get some air, all right?

♪ Trying to get my heart back ♪

♪ Trying to get my heart back ♪

♪ For you, for you
for you, for you ♪

♪ But somebody stole it ♪

♪ Or I gave it away ♪

♪ Now it's out of my hands ♪

♪ Out of my hands ♪

♪ Time to negotiate ♪

♪ But do I make it
out of this alive ♪

♪ Still have something
to give you ♪

♪ Got to get my heart back ♪

♪ Got to get my heart back ♪

♪ For you, for you, for you ♪

You ever think about what you want
to do with the rest of your life?

Um...

No, I...
I literally have no idea.

I know I want to go to uni,
but apart from that, I don't know.

That's all right, you got time.

You have plenty of time.

I just want you
to promise me something.

When you have that moment,

when you realize,
"This is what I want to do

for the rest of my life,"

whether you're 25, 30, 50,

doesn't matter
how old you are...

just promise me...

that you make sure that you love
whatever it is that you do.

Is that what you did?

Did... did...
did you look into, like,

a crystal ball and you, like,
"I know what I want to do

for the rest of my life,
is law, litigation,

essays, and staying in the office...

...till 10:00 p.m.,"
blah-blah-blah.

- Shockingly, no.
- Oh.

That is not the dream
that I had.

- So, did you have a dream?
- Yeah.

I wanted to be a dancer.

You?

Okay.

Thank you for your support.

- No, no.
- It means a lot to me.

- No, no, no.
- No, now that I have

the support of my daughter,
I just...

I... I can finally fly.

- Thank you.
- No, I'm just saying, I'm surprised.

I'm surprised. Just surprised.

Like, you've
always played things safe.

No offense.

Yeah.

Did you ever think
about drama school?

I got into drama school.

- Where?
- Tisch School of the Arts.

So, why didn't you go?

Well, we didn't have the money.

Didn't grandpa pay for it?

Well, grandpa...

his particular brand
of parenting

was this strange mix
of support and business.

Wasn't very wealthy,
but everything that he had,

money, time, he put into me
and your Uncle Ray.

You know, private schools,
tuition, everything.

He used to drive Ray hundreds
of miles for baseball games.

And then, the moment
Ray blew his shoulder out...

the rides dried up overnight.
You know, so...

I went to him, I asked for money
for drama school.

He looked me
in the eyes, he said,

"David, the bottomless pit
that is your education

has finally found the floor."

Took me years to realize
how great that line was.

So, if you...

couldn't afford drama school,
how did you got to law school?

No, he paid for that.

How come?

Well, there was a return
on his investment.

Wow.

He was a great man, though.

He was a really great man.

It saddens me all the time that
you never had a chance to meet him.

Or he, you.

Now, I never want you to sacrifice
your dreams because of me.

All right?

Morning, Tom.

- Morning, David.
- Morning, David.

Morning, team.
How's everyone doing?

- You had a great weekend?
- Yeah, good.

Where are we
with the Sanderson suit?

Still nothing. It's been nearly
a week since we made our offer.

All right, well, listen,
if they don't call us by noon,

we ring them back and we tell
them every hour we wait,

we're going to drop
our number two percent.

Can't let this thing
drag on any longer.

- What about the Callaghan suit?
- They're refusing to budge.

- They won't sign unless we...
- What the hell?

Is everything all right?

Boss,
I've got Sanderson on the line.

Not now!

Uh, boss, it's Sanderson.

Not now.

He'll have to call you back.

♪ Midwinter ♪

♪ Frosty wind made moan ♪

♪ Our God
heaven cannot hold him ♪

♪ Nor earth sustain ♪

♪ Heaven and earth
shall flee away ♪

♪ When he comes to reign ♪

Dad?

Dad?

I'll walk home then. Okay.

That's it!

You're coming clean.

Right now.

- About what?
- Everything.

Okay, because that
really narrows it down for me.

Watch your mouth.

Is this about Ben or something?

I couldn't give
two shits about big Ben.

- Then, what is your problem?
- My problem!

You're flunking out of school!

You belong to eight different
dating sites?

That's my problem!

I thought you actually wanted
to spend time with me.

I'm an idiot. Talk to me.

Thank you for taking so much time out
of your busy schedule for me, okay?

That's what you think
this is about, work?

You think I work
those long hours for fun?

No, you work them so you
don't have to think about Mom!

This has nothing to do
with your mother.

This has everything
to do with Mom!

Don't use her death as an excuse
to do whatever you want.

Getting Cs and Ds?

You used to get As.

And by the way,
spending 300 pounds last month

on dating sites for me?

To be honest,
I thought it was more than that.

This isn't a joke.

How do you know
how much I spent?

I looked at your bank statement.

That is such an invasion
of my privacy, Dad!

And setting me up
with random women isn't?

- Get in the car.
- Right.

Is the door going to be open now
for me to get in the car?

Just get in the car.

Delete all the profiles
right now.

Take them down.

- Right now.
- Okay, I'm doing it.

- What's that?
- I said, I'm doing it.

- Okay.
- Do you want to watch?

I do. I'm entitled to.

Just take them all down!

Every last one of them.

"Amanda."

♪ Angel, you shine ♪

♪ Through the night ♪

♪ Your embrace is light ♪

♪ Angel, your heart in my mind ♪

♪ I am calling on you ♪

♪ I'll hold you ♪

♪ While we fall ♪

♪ And I'll never let go ♪

♪ I'll never let go ♪

Jules?

Important question.

Yeah?

Have you decided
on what you're wearing

to Sophie's party?

Because if you haven't,
pretty please,

can I borrow
your white strappy top?

I think it'll go great
with those jeans I got.

Yeah, sure. Go for it.

Thanks.

Is Ben going to be there?

Yeah, I think so.

How are things with you two?

Has he been over?

Uh, yeah,
he came over on Wednesday.

Why didn't you tell me?

It just didn't come up.

For future reference,

anything happens with any guy,

you tell me immediately.

Was he a good kisser?

I guess so.

Come on, you've got
to give me more than that.

Did you go any further?

I don't want
to talk about it, Em.

You did! I can hear it
in your voice.

Look, just because
you don't have a boyfriend

doesn't mean
that I've got to tell you

every single detail about mine.

I wouldn't want your boyfriend.

Good,
because he wouldn't want you.

He's only going out with
you because he's already

screwed every girl in his year!

Can't you see you're just
a number to him?

Don't you ever call me
just a number again!

So, Jules has been
setting you up on dates

- without your knowledge.
- Pretty much.

- Clever girl.
- Yeah.

- And so, this woman.
- Yeah, Amanda.

- Ah! Ow, son of a bitch.
- Oh.

- What is it?
- I just got a cramp.

- Oh!
- Here.

- Oh, my God.
- How can I help?

- Hold this, pull my leg.
- Okay.

- Just pull it. There you go.
- All right. Oh.

- Ah!
- So.

- Oh!
- Tell me.

- Yeah?
- Is she intelligent?

- Who?
- Amanda.

Oh. Yeah,
she's fiercely intelligent.

And attractive?

From what I remember, yeah.

So, where are you going
to take her?

Mm-mm. Nowhere.

- Why not?
- Uh, because it's just

not the right time.
Can you just... just pull? Ow!

What are you doing? Ah.

I'm divorcing Mike.

What? Why didn't you tell me?

- You didn't ask.
- I'm not a mind reader.

Do you know, this is why
we could never work out!

Because all you think about
is your own problems,

never anyone else!

Sara.

Hey.

Come here. Sit down, please.

Was he cheating on you?

Was he having an affair?

Don't be stupid.

I mean, Mike could be
a bit slow at times,

but he's not insane.

What about you?

How could I?

Spend all my free time
nannying you.

No, we're...

The magic just died.

At first, I told myself
it was a rough patch.

Then that I was
sticking it out for the kids.

In reality, it was...

the thought
of how it used to be that...

kept me there for so long.

Why are you telling me this now?

Because sometimes...

sometimes...

it's best to enjoy memories
for what they are...

and move on.

- Hello?
- Hey, yeah, is that Amanda?

Yeah, speaking.

- It's David Evans.
- Oh, hi, David!

- It's so good to hear from you.
- Yeah.

Well, it's good
to hear from you, too. Uh...

Yeah, I...

just wanted to know, you know,
if that offer still stands,

uh, you know,

if you were up for maybe
getting that drink Saturday.

Yeah, sounds great,
I'd love that.

Ruby's Bar, seven o'clock?

- Great.
- Perfect.

Okay. Yeah, I'll see you then.

- See you Saturday. Bye, David.
- All right.

Okay.

Oh, Amanda. How...

Hey, oh...

Hi.

Shoot...

I'm heading out.

Oh, okay. Good luck.

You look nice.

Thank you.

You need some money for a cab?

No, it's okay.
Sophie said we can stay over the night.

You know what,
I'll leave a 20 for you.

- No, it's okay.
- Just in case.

You know what, I'll leave it
on the kitchen counter.

- All right.
- Have fun.

All right.

"...or any other
good old city, town, or borough

in the good old world."

And God bless us, everyone.

- Mom?
- Yeah?

I think Daddy is missing you.

What is that?

Oh, Jes...

- You okay, David?
- Yeah. Oh, God.

- I'm so sorry. Should I just try...
- Oh, no, it's all right.

- ...and come back and make more of an entrance?
- It's okay.

- Are you okay?
- Uh, yeah.

What's...
my heart has actually exploded,

but it'll, it'll calm down.

- It's good to see you.
- Yeah. Well, we're off to a great start.

- I know.
- I think that went really well.

Yeah.

Whiskey on the rocks?

Good memory. Thank you, yeah.

Two whiskeys on the rocks,
please.

♪ Playing with fire ♪

♪ They're going to be burned ♪

♪ I'm walking on the wire ♪

- Jules!
- Hi.

Oh, I'm so glad
you could make it.

There's beer
and cider in the fridge.

Oh, great, thanks. Um,

I was actually wondering,
have you seen Ben?

Um, I haven't seen him.

Soph!

Latasha! Oh, my God!

♪ Never get burned ♪

♪ We'll never burned ♪

♪ You're playing with fire ♪

- You look amazing.
- Thank you.

It's like you haven't aged.
You've been in a time capsule.

Stop it.

Have you been
in a cryogenic tank?

- You're too kind.
- No, no, you look amazing.

- Thank you.
- I look like your creepy grandfather,

and you look exactly the same.

- Good genes.
- Yeah. Bless your mama...

- You're looking great, too, though.
- No.

I mean,
how long has it been now?

Seventeen years?

Oh, my God.

You were three years old.

Hey, Jules.

You know,
Ben's a really good kisser.

I don't know what to say,
David, sorry.

Why, what's going on?

Well, it all feels
a bit surreal.

- What do you mean?
- You, me...

having a drink.

Yeah.

Well.

You must have known
I had a crush on you.

No! I'd no idea.

- No?
- No. Is it a joke?

- No, of course not.
- Really?

Never thought I had a chance,
though.

Are you serious?

You've made my Christmas.

Wow.

Obviously,
you've been married since.

But, that girl you were dating?

Catherine? Chloe?

Claire.

- Claire. Yes, Claire!
- Yeah.

I only met her
a couple of times,

but the way that you looked

- to each other...
- Yeah.

...I thought that was you
off the market, for sure.

Here I am.

How is she?

You know, I... I'd...

I'd rather not talk about it.

- Come on, David.
- Actually, do you know what?

Do you... How about another one?

Yo... One more.

David, you can tell me
what happened.

Well...

what's it to you?

Jeez, David.

- What's it to me?
- Yeah.

Excuse me?

She's everything
that you're not.

You know, you're beautiful
and smart, and...

But she...

she could light up a room.

She'd light up any room. And that's,
uh, that's a gift that, you know,

you nor anyone
in here is blessed with.

I'm sorry.

I've got you.

Dad?

What's happened?

I'd... What do you d...

I thought you were going
to be out later.

Yeah, there was
just a change of plans.

Oh, okay. You use
that 20 that I gave you?

Yeah.

Okay, did you say "thank you?"

Thank you.

- Do you want me to get a brush?
- No, I'm fine, I got it.

I'll take care of it.
Just go t... go to bed.

- No, it's fine, I'm up now.
- No, I said go to bed!

Just go to bed.

Why are you being a dick?

Because my daughter,

per usual,
is not listening to me.

That's why.

I just...

- I just want to help.
- I never asked for your help!

With anything!

- Dad, I...
- It's not your job

to decide if I'm lonely.

- What about me, then?
- What about you?

It's not about you!

For once!

Sorry, mailbox is full.

You have 158 new messages.

To listen to new messages,
press one.

Hey, Mom. It's me, Jules.

I don't know why I just said
Jules, you should know it's me.

Well, I hope you do.

Maybe you've forgotten, I...

I honestly don't
really know why I called.

I feel a bit stupid,
to be honest with you.

I just needed
to hear your voice.

Miss you.

Hey, it's me.

I know
you never liked me swearing,

but I need to vent.

Right.

Mrs. Edwards is a bitch.

Yeah, she's an absolute bitch.

I mean, I revised so hard
for this test last week.

And yeah, I messed it up,
but she didn't have to call me out

in front of the whole class
and just humiliate me.

If embarrassing teenagers is the
only thing to make her feel powerful,

then she must live
a seriously sad existence.

Shit, she's coming
towards me right now.

I... I think she must have heard.

Got to go, Mom. Love you, bye.

Hey, it's me. Um,

you'll never guess
what happened last night.

So, I was in bed,
just watching a film, right?

When I get a text from
this number I don't recognize.

Turns out it's
from a guy in the year above.

He's called Ben, and we spoke
a couple of times in lunch

in the queue, but...
or at the bus stop and stuff,

but I never realized he,
like, liked me, you know.

Uh, long story short,

we're going for coffee
after school on Monday.

You've got to promise me not to
tell Dad any of this, by the way.

He'll get all macho and threaten
to break Ben's legs or something.

Actually, saying that, he's probably
more likely to invite him for tea

which would be even worse.

I think you'd like him, Mom.

Anyway, that's my news.

Love you. Bye.

Hey, it's me.

Everyone expects me to be fine, Mom.

Everyone expects that after two
years, my life is now back to normal,

but I'm not fine, Mom.

Mom, I'm not fine.

And my life is definitely
not back to normal,

and I don't even know
what normal is anymore.

No one understands me, Mom.

Not any of my teachers, not Em, not Dad.

Dad has never understood me.

He never has and he never will.

Why did you have
to leave me here?

Because I can't do it
by myself.

You have no new messages.

How'd you know?

Cellphones are
an amazing thing...

for worried parents or...

or a complete stalker.

- You cold? Let me give you my coat.
- No, it's fine.

I just needed
to speak to someone, Dad.

I know.

No.

No, you don't. You say you do,
but you really don't.

Yeah, but I want to.

I really do.

How the party go?

- Ben cheated on me.
- That little shit.

- No, it's fine.
- Definitely no.

It's not fine.

If it makes you feel any better,

my date was a complete
disaster as well.

God, I hope so.

Yeah, wel... What do you mean?

You're standing in a graveyard
with your daughter.

It's not exactly a success.

What did Em say
about the whole Ben thing?

She doesn't know.

We had a big fight.

- Your fault or hers?
- Mine, completely mine.

You think she'll forgive me?

I know she will.

She'd want you to be happy.
You know that, right?

Yeah.

I know.

You know, there was a lot
of security here last week.

- Really? Why?
- Yeah.

- People were dying to get in.
- Dad!

- Can't say that, it's really insensitive.
- Why?

It was funny.

Not everything's a joke.

Yeah. Sometimes I wish it was.

Thanks.

I really miss her, Dad.

W... Well, I got you.

Don't worry about it, honey.
I got you.

Let's go get warm, okay?
Let's go home.

Yeah.

It's cold, let's go.
Let's go home.

- I'll make you some hot chocolate.
- I guess.

Yeah.
You'll do everything I say from now on?

- Fine.
- Stop being a diva.

Trying.

♪ The holly and the ivy ♪

♪ When they are both
full grown ♪

♪ Of all the trees
that are in the woods ♪

♪ The holly bears the crown ♪

♪ Oh, the rising of the sun ♪

♪ And the running of the deer ♪

♪ The playing
of the merry organ ♪

♪ Sweet singing in the choir ♪

♪ The holly bears a blossom ♪

♪ As white as lily flower ♪

♪ And Mary bore
sweet Jesus Christ ♪

♪ To be our sweet savior ♪

♪ Oh, the rising of the sun ♪

♪ And the running of the deer ♪

♪ The playing
of the merry organ ♪

♪ Sweet singing in the choir ♪

Christmas says love is
the most important thing.

And when our memories drift
to the ones we've lost,

and we wish we could
just hold them again

and say the three words that
define the glory of tonight:

I love you.

Please say it
every chance you get.

Don't wait for Christmas.

♪ Once in royal David's city ♪

♪ Stood a lowly cattle shed ♪

♪ Where a mother laid her baby ♪

♪ In a manger for his bed ♪

♪ Mary was that mother mild ♪

♪ Jesus Christ
her little child ♪

♪ He came down
to earth from heaven ♪

♪ Who is God and Lord of all ♪

♪ And his shelter was a stable ♪

♪ And his cradle was a stall ♪

♪ With the poor ♪

♪ And meek and lowly ♪

♪ Lived on earth ♪

I'm sorry, excuse me.
Do you mind?

I'm sorry.

Thank you, sorry. Thanks.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

♪ His wondrous childhood ♪

♪ He would honor and obey ♪

- She's very good, isn't she?
- Yeah.

She's my daughter.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Oh.

- She's beautiful.
- Yeah.

She doesn't get it from me.

♪ Christian children
all must be ♪

♪ Mild, obedient good as he ♪

♪ For he is
our childhood's pattern ♪

♪ Day by day like us he grew ♪

I'm David.

I'm Laura.

Nice to meet you.

You too.

♪ Tears and smiles
like us he knew ♪

♪ And he feeleth ♪

♪ For our sadness ♪

♪ And he shareth ♪

♪ In our gladness ♪

I love you.

I love you, Dad.

♪ Kick your shoes away ♪

♪ For a barefoot ballet
on a Broadway alley ♪

♪ Kick those blues away ♪

♪ It's a moonlight musical ♪

♪ Undeniable ♪

♪ Let there be love ♪

♪ Let there be love ♪

♪ Groove and jazz tonight ♪

♪ Because the stars
are all singing ♪

♪ Let there be love ♪

♪ And bells are all ringing ♪

♪ Let there be love ♪

♪ I said the choirs
are singing ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ Love! ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ha! ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ I've been happy never
dancing with no one else ♪

♪ I've been satisfied
if I only caught your eye ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Let everything
around us freeze ♪

♪ And let there be love ♪

♪ Hm ♪

♪ Never been just two of these ♪

♪ Let there be love ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Do-do-doo ♪

♪ La-da-da-do-dee-dee-dee ♪

♪ La-da-en-da-en-da ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Let everything
around us glow ♪

♪ And let there be love ♪

♪ Hm ♪

♪ Bless this feeling ♪

♪ And bless the snow ♪

♪ Let there be love ♪