My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding (2012) Movie Script

[ Cheering ]

Narrator: On "my big fat

American gypsy wedding"...

The wedding is off!

[Bleep] This wedding.

Told you he wasn't

[Bleep] marrying Bridget.

Well, I'm [bleep]

Doing it, Amber.

Narrator:

...Past relationships cause

havoc for bride-to-be nukkie...

I don't know what I want!

This is what she's

gonna have on.

Narrator: ...And a dress

creates a family war.

Get the [bleep] camera

out of my [bleep] face now!

captions paid for by

discovery communications

narrator: High in the mountain

state lives one of the most

notorious gypsy families

in America.

Nukkie: My name is nukkie.

I live in West Virginia

and I'm a gypsy.

My family

is old-tradition gypsy.

Gypsy women,

we are very hard workers.

We have to cook.

We have to clean.

We have to make sure

our house looks good.

We have to make sure everything

is done for our husband.

Narrator: Guiding her family

in the strict gypsy traditions

is nukkie's mom, nettie.

All right, y'all.

Start picking that mess up.

Can't let the grass grow

under your feet, girls.

My name is nettie Stanley.

I love that I had nine kids.

I would do anything in the world

for my family.

We have a lot of ups and downs,

but we also got one another's

back, no matter what.

Do you know if you'd listen to

me, you'd have a very good life?

That's how it works

in our world.

Do you understand anything

I'm saying?

- Hello?

- I'm listening!

Some people find our family

fascinating.

Some people find it tacky,

and really, to be honest,

none of us give a [bleep]

what the other one thinks.

[ Exhales slowly ]

[ Cows moo ]

Narrator: In just two weeks,

nukkie is getting married

to Jonas,

a non-gypsy, or gorger.

Oh, my god.

I do love this place.

Jonas and i's been together

about two months now.

I would have it right here,

just me and you.

We're both crazy

about each other.

I swear to god.

I never knew I could like

somebody that fast.

I love this old thingy.

I don't even know what it is.

I think it's for horses.

It's where you put the horse

on the back,

and then two

people get in there --

so that's like me

on the wedding day.

Yeah.

Jonas: I used to have attitudes

all the time.

I always used to be mad,

and then

when I started talking to her,

all that's changed.

I've just been calm, laid back.

These barn doors can close,

and then, like, ta-da.

Ta-da!

You know, like,

"the Princess is here."

Nukkie: I love him.

I love how his ways,

his actions.

I love her because...

You know how you get

that feeling sometimes?

It's, like, a weird

feeling in your gut.

I'm gonna get

a tattoo tomorrow.

I'm gonna make it about us.

It's gonna be a poem thing

on my forearm.

I'm so excited about

getting married

because it's to the man

of my dreams.

Narrator:

To help her with the wedding,

nukkie has enlisted big sister

Dallas as maid of honor.

That's a good dad right there.

Push him up the hill.

Narrator: Dallas lives with

her three kids and her

gypsy sweetheart, Jay.

Dallas: My name's Dallas.

I'm a romany girl

from West Virginia.

My day-to-day job, like, period,

is being a mom to three kids.

I love my gypsy lifestyle.

You used to be wild.

- Wild? What do you mean wild?

- Really wild.

I was not wild.

Adventurous.

Me and Jay has been together

for about seven years,

since I was 15.

We was, like, childhood

sweethearts and we clicked.

We gave each other some space

to see if it was true love,

and we came back and, you know,

everything is good now.

It's nice out here,

but it's windy.

- I'm cold.

- Yeah, I know.

Me and Jay are more

of a power couple.

We're stronger together.

She's the mother of my kids.

I love everything about Dallas.

Narrator:

But Dallas and Jay's romance

hasn't always fired

on all cylinders.

They originally got together

seven years ago,

but after

their first child together,

Jay left Dallas

and married her cousin, Annie.

During his marriage with Annie,

Dallas gave birth

to two more children,

which Dallas claims are Jay's.

Now Jay's left Annie

and gone back to Dallas.

This resulted in a bitter feud

between Dallas and Annie,

which came to a head

at nukkie's bridal shower.

There's a girl fight [bleep].

- Oh, no. Oh, no.

- What happened?

Amanda, don't jump!

Man: Calm down. Calm down.

Stop. Get her off.

- Get her off.

- No!

Man: Shut the door.

Shut the door.

They did.

Look at my eye, Mellie.

Hey, turn that off.

Narrator:

Now Annie's left town.

Dallas and Jay are happier

than ever,

and nukkie's wedding

can go ahead as planned.

Next on the list is ordering

the perfect gypsy dress,

and she has a line

to the best in the business.

- Hey, sondra.

- Hey! What's up?

I need you to make me a dress.

I made you a wedding dress.

There's another wedding.

Okay, didn't know

that didn't work out.

Narrator: Five years ago,

nukkie thought

she'd found true love

with a gypsy boy called pookie,

but her mother, nettie,

didn't approve, and the young

lovebirds ran away.

They married and later

had a son.

Me and pookie really, really

loved each other strongly,

but after I had my boy,

we went south from each other.

He wanted to go party

with the boys, never come home.

I was all by myself,

and one day, I just left.

My son is 2 years old,

and I don't see him.

Man:

Can you tell me about that?

I don't want to talk about that.

Man: Okay.

Boy, have I been out

of the loop.

- Oh, you sure have.

- So who's this?

How did you meet him?

His name is Jonas.

I met him through my sister.

It's country zing meets

gypsy bling.

- Okay.

- My dress --

I want it to be a half top,

and I want --

I'll have nothing

but rhinestones and glitter

all over it,

and I want it to be all white

with baby, baby pink diamonds,

and I want the back

of the train to be huge.

Okay, I'll drop the schedule

just for you, my love.

All right.

Thank you, sondra.

Bye-bye.

This dress -- I want

to outdo my last dress.

I want to make it 10 times

better, 10 times sexier,

because I got my dream guy,

and that better be

my dream dress.

Narrator:

The state of West Virginia

has long been home

to romanichal gypsies,

including another family

right across town,

and its modern gypsy mom, Jett.

Jett: I'm Jeanette small.

I'm a romanichal gypsy.

I was brought up

traditional gypsy ways.

We try to outdo everyone.

We've got to look better,

be better.

It's just our way.

Narrator:

Jett lives with her daughters,

Victoria and Scarlett,

two gypsy princesses

in the making.

They know everything that

there is to know

about a romanichal girl.

Victoria thinks

she's a full-blown woman.

She's the first one

to pose for the camera.

Your hair bow pretty.

Scarlett, she's a miracle baby.

She was premie.

She was born three months early.

I had to be in the hospital

with her a lot.

I'm very lucky

Scarlett's alive,

so I want to make

everyday special for her,

and her third birthday,

it's very important to me.

So I want to throw my Scarlett

the biggest third birthday party

you guys have ever seen.

You're not going

to get any better.

Yay!

Are you ready to go get

your nails done?

I want everything to be

blinged out for this party.

Bling is a must.

You got to have bling.

You see a romanichal,

you see bling.

All right. Here we go.

Narrator:

But there's one crucial item

that's more important

than anything else.

Is you gonna be a Princess?

I already know it.

My idea for her dress

at the moment,

I'm not sure if I want

to do pink or blue,

but we do want

a big fancy ball gown.

I want it to be wow.

I'd like for her to pull up

in her horse and carriage.

She definitely got to have

red carpet when she gets out.

She's just gonna be a Princess.

Narrator: Jett may have clear

visions on how she wants

Scarlett's dress to be,

but someone

in this family has other ideas.

Angie: I'm Angie.

I'm Jett's mom,

and I'm a romany gypsy.

Do you know, let me

tell you something,

gypsy tradition is the most

importantest thing in my life.

I mean, it's everything.

It's everything.

Scarlett is my granddaughter.

She is beautiful.

She is so attached to me

that it's unreal.

I will go through hell

to make sure that Scarlett

does grow up knowing that

she is what you call

a pure romany.

You ready to chow, mother?

Yes, I'm starved.

Let's go eat.

I just want to get my mom's

views for Scarlett's birthday

because her and Scarlett

are very close,

but at the end of the day,

my mother is a bitch.

She can have a little say

here and there,

but when it comes down to it,

it's my way or no way.

All right.

So have you picked out a dress

or how you're gonna

have it done, or what?

I've looked at some big

fluffy ones, pink.

I don't want --

I don't like pink.

I don't want pink

for her dress.

Well, we're doing cinderella

themed, so it's got to be pink.

I don't want cinderella theme.

I'm gonna tell you

that right now.

I want her to go as a romany,

and I want to her

to be dressed as a romany

that -- what she is.

She's not a grown woman.

She's gonna be dressed

like a little girl.

- Yes.

- No.

She's gonna have a white dress,

and it's gonna be silver,

and it's gonna be

full of bling.

- No, sorry, it's not.

- Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Narrator: Angie comes from

a group of romanies

who believe that girls must

wear white on their birthday

to signify their purity

until their coming of age at 16.

This is about Scarlett.

It's not about you, okay?

- This is about Scarlett --

- this is her religion.

...but I'm her mom, and I've

got to do what I've got to do.

So we need -- no.

We need to discuss it

because she's not being

raised like that.

I'm her grandmother.

I have just as much say

as you have with her.

- No, you don't.

- Oh, but I do.

Oh, but I do.

There's not too much

you can do about it.

You'll see.

There's gonna be a lot

I'm gonna do about it.

This is my granddaughter.

She's a gypsy, and it needs

to be done the romany way.

Get a white dress,

blinged out to the Max.

I just think she's gonna do

crazy colors with the dress.

That's not gonna happen.

I'm not gonna let it happen.

I'm Scarlett's mom.

I don't care how she likes it,

and I don't care

if she likes it,

but at the end of the day,

it's gonna be the way

I want it,

and that's just that.

My salad is...

[ Laughs ]

That didn't work.

Narrator: News of nukkie's

wedding has spread

throughout the gypsy community,

but not everybody is happy

about the upcoming nuptials.

Hello?

Mnh-mnh. Uh...

Narrator: Coming up...

Where did you stay last night?

Narrator: ...Nukkie is torn

between lovers...

I love Jonas and I love pookie.

I can't help it.

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

Narrator: ...And Jett sends

mom Angie over the edge.

[Bleep] You

and [bleep] that dress.

Narrator: Nukkie's wedding to

Jonas is just one week away,

but news travels fast

in the gypsy community,

and nukkie's ex-husband, pookie,

the father of her child,

is back in town.

So you know what this girl

has been doing, right?

Why she's --

you done got mixed emotions,

and pookie's been calling her.

Do you know she's thinking

about going back to pookie?

- No, I haven't. No.

- Then what was about -- no.

You're not understanding

anything, girl.

I will beat your brains out

like I did to Annie.

Do you understand that?

That's evil. That's ignorant.

Would you get dwarf

out of here,

telling somebody she's gonna

beat their brains out.

Mom, I'll beat your brains out.

You know what's wrong

with her head right now

is that pookie's back in town,

and she's got mixed emotions.

It's what happens when exes --

he needs to stay six hours away.

He's secretly manipulating her.

I don't want this filmed.

Well, too late.

It's reality.

This is a reality show.

- We got to talk about reality.

- I'm going to bed!

You know, I'd pick Jonas

over pookie any day.

- I'm sorry to tell you that.

- I would, too!

But I don't know what I want!

Do you want to come --

how about I have Jonas

and pookie right here,

the two together,

and see what you want.

No! I don't want

nobody out here.

Oh, god.

You shriek like

you're a [bleep] whale.

[Bleep] [Bleep], bitch.

No. Because you're really --

you're really [bleep] up.

I'm confused about what I want.

I love Jonas and I love pookie.

I can't help it.

If I go to pookie,

I get my son.

That's all that matters to me.

I don't care about my feelings.

I care just about my son.

That's it.

Pookie is a two-faced,

backstabbing,

manipulating person.

Pookie put her self-esteem

to the ground.

I know she has a child there.

He took custody, but being away

from your kid

and then saying that

that's the reason

why you're going back,

that don't work with me.

Come on, Scarlett.

You excited to get your dress?

Narrator: Across town, it's just

days until Jett throws daughter

Scarlett a third birthday party,

gypsy style,

but she's shopping

for a colorful Princess dress,

not a white one like

gypsy grandma Angie insisted on.

Wow, Scarlett. Look.

- Hi.

- Look at this dress.

Scarlett, she's been

through a lot,

and I just think she's special,

and she deserves to have a nice,

special, big party, you know?

She's a Princess.

She deserves it.

The dress, it's got

to be perfect, got to be pink.

It's got to be big.

It's got to have

a little bit of bling.

I just want

a big Princess gown.

So these right here

are really pretty.

- I like these. Scarlett.

- What?

Which one of these dresses

you like, ma?

- That one.

- You like that one?

A lot of beads on it.

Perfect for the party.

Scarlett, you like that one?

A Princess party, to me,

is fairy tale,

horse and carriage,

Princess cake, big fancy dress.

Why don't we go ahead

and get started trying on?

Jett: I'm so nervous.

I got to have the best dress,

the best look,

the best for Scarlett.

Here she is.

[ Gasps ] I love that!

- You can step off.

- You look gorgeous!

Let me see.

Wow!

Look at my gorgeous girl.

When they open the curtains,

and I see my Scarlett

for the first time

and her pink Princess dress,

my heart hit the floor.

She was so gorgeous.

I could've cried.

She was amazing.

I looked at her, and I'm like,

"man, I made that.

That's from me."

Now this is a Princess dress.

Yes, this is the one.

I love this.

My mother is going

to hate this dress...

Wow.

...but I don't care.

This is the dress for us.

So I'm walking across

the parking lot,

taking this dress,

gonna go hang it up,

and who pulls up behind me

but my mother, the crazy woman,

thinking she looks hot

in her Camaro.

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

That's Scarlett's dress?

- You don't like this, mom?

- Scarlett is not wearing that.

Scarlett is not wearing that

under no circumstances.

I will not [bleep] have it.

You're not gonna take

my granddaughter

around all my romany family

into this party

because I'm gonna tell you

what I'm gonna do.

So you can put her in it,

but I'm taking it off.

She -- I will not have it,

will not.

Don't bring that

any closer to me

because I will

throw it that way.

- What's wrong with it?

- It's ugly.

It's three or four

different colors.

It looks like it came from

a dollar store or something.

- You don't like this?

- No, I do not.

You shouldn't be making

decisions without my consent.

I have nothing left

to say to you.

I'm done.

That is ugly.

I will not have it.

I will take care

of Scarlett's dress.

[Bleep] You and [bleep]

that dress.

Okay.

That woman's crazy.

She's absolutely crazy.

I'm kind of worried

she's gonna come to the party

and throw a dramatic fit.

[ Tires squeal ]

Narrator: While Jett plows on

with her plans

for Scarlett's party,

wedding plans

in the Stanley household

take an unexpected turn.

Mom, nukkie didn't come

in last night.

- She's not in there?

- No.

- Yeah, no.

- She's not downstairs?

- No.

- Nope.

She doesn't listen.

I bet you she won't even

answer the phone

because she knows I'm calling.

Nukkie better have

a good explanation

why she wasn't home last night.

[ Line ringing ]

Hello?

Where are you at?

Getting out of the shower.

Where did you stay last night?

With pookie?

Mom, I'm 20 years old.

I don't need no lecture.

Oh, you're 20 years old.

I don't give a [bleep].

The point is you're not

even supposed to be

staying with pookie

when you're not even with him.

Are you out of your [bleep]

mind, nukkie?

Do you even know what you want?

I do know what I want, mom.

Leave me alone.

Your games have got to stop.

Well, leave me alone.

You mean to tell me

that you're gonna

dump your gorger boyfriend,

forget about the wedding

and go back to pookie

after everything

pookie's put you through?

Are you out of your mind?

[ Dial tone ]

- There you go.

I can't even understand

what would get into her mind,

to get herself back

in that situation.

I know she has a child there.

That's the only thing

I can think of

to know that she's there for.

But still, it just

completely blows my mind.

I like being with Jonas,

but since

pookie got back in town,

my mind has been going

crazy for him.

I want my family back.

It's gonna break Jonas' heart,

but the wedding is off.

Narrator: Coming up...

So I had a great idea.

Narrator: ...Drastic times call

for drastic measures...

Oh, my god, mother.

Narrator: ...And Scarlett's

party leads to all-out war.

- I will slap you with it.

- [ Bleep ].

Narrator:

Nukkie's ex-husband, pookie,

has returned to martinsburg,

and nukkie has made

a rash decision.

It's gonna break Jonas' heart,

but the wedding is off.

I've got something to tell you.

Are you okay?

No, I'm pretty pissed.

Nukkie left.

Left just like that?

Yeah, she wanted pookie.

And is this for real?

She does not deserve you.

To walk around and act like that

and just leave you to go

with the ex-husband, boom,

just like that --

- okay.

- ...That's not right.

It's all done.

I don't want to talk about it.

You don't want to

talk about it?

Leave me alone.

Susan: I'm absolutely furious

that this girl did this to him.

He adores her.

For her to just tear him

apart like this,

I'm furious, and now I never

want to see her again, ever.

Jonas:

It made me cry for days.

I cried for five days straight,

and I don't cry over no girl,

never have. I did her.

This is serious.

I really cannot believe nukkie.

She's gone back in the same boat

she was in.

It don't -- I just can't

make sense of it.

Maybe one day when you

grow up and get married,

you stay married

and marry the right man.

Nukkie is the most

selfish person

that I can think of right now.

This wedding has cost

thousands of dollars.

But you know what?

It's not nukkie's wedding

to cancel.

Dallas, it's your mom.

How are you?

I'm good.

You know, I've been thinking.

I have put so much time

and effort into this wedding,

and I don't want

to have to cancel it.

So I had a great idea.

Jay has been asking you

over and over to marry him,

so why don't you get married?

Really?

If you think we can get

this done

in this amount of short of time,

and you think that it's capable

of being the way

I like things and my type

of style, then we can do it.

You better have this wedding

being the best for me

and looking the best.

I'm excited.

I really want to do this.

Jay has been dying

to marry Dallas,

and now that Jay

and Annie's divorce is final,

there's nothing gonna stop

them from getting married now.

I'm excited to do this.

It's gonna be a blast,

and I can't wait.

All right, well, love you.

All right. Bye.

Solves that problem.

Narrator: Not only has Dallas

inherited her sister

nukkie's wedding,

she's also inherited her dress,

and with sondra flying in

from Boston to deliver it,

there's no time

like the present to try it on.

Sondra: I've never made Dallas

a wedding dress before,

but I've made one for nukkie.

Nukkie likes crazy,

funky colors.

Does Dallas? I don't know.

I'm a nervous wreck.

I'm just so afraid she's gonna

walk through that door

and absolutely hate it.

Hey!

Hi! How are you?

- I haven't seen you in a while.

- I know.

I have no idea what this dress

looks like

because my sister,

she has a child's mind.

I can't imagine you not loving

it because it's gorgeous.

- It's pretty.

- It's gorgeous.

It's not too big because,

you know, I'm little,

and I like everything small.

All right.

Well, let's go up and see it.

It's like two dresses in one,

so you'll see.

Okay.

Okay, take a deep breath.

Hang on. Three, two, one.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. Oh, oh. Wow, wow.

Have I ever seen anything

like this?

I don't even know what to say.

Why did my sister choose pink?

- I'm sorry.

- What is she thinking?

Oh, wow.

I hate pink.

The wedding is right

around the corner.

I don't wear hot pink like that.

I am not a Barbie.

I am not a toy.

What do I do with this dress?

Oh, my god.

Narrator:

It's the day of 3-year-old

Scarlett's birthday party,

and she's being transformed

into a gypsy Princess.

All right, look at mommy.

So today is the day

of the party. I'm very excited.

A lot to do,

but it's gonna be great.

All right, now look at me.

You're gonna be my little

gypsy Princess?

All right, let's do it.

Close your eye.

That looks beautiful.

Are you ready to put

your dress on?

You ready?

Ooh.

Turn around.

Gorgeous.

Narrator: Just down the street,

mom Angie is making her

own preparations for the party.

- Is that gorgeous?

- That is.

- Let me see this.

- That is beautiful.

Narrator: And she's bought

a traditional white

gypsy dress

for Scarlett to wear.

And this is what hers

is supposed to look like.

That's the romany way.

It is the romany way,

and that's what

she's gonna wear.

Hopefully I spot Scarlett

when I walk through that door,

and I just take her

by her little hand

and run right

into the bathroom --

- and you change her.

- ...And I throw that dress

on her, and I walk her

right back out the door.

Scarlett's gonna come out of

that bathroom

totally dressed different.

She should.

And that's the way

I want to do it.

Scarlett loves the bling.

When she sees the dress,

she's gonna want to take

the other one off right there.

Jett may not like it,

but surprise, surprise,

mama's stepping in.

You ready, Scarlett?

Narrator: Waiting to whisk

her away to the party

is Jett's fiancé, bubba.

There's my girl.

You ready to get on the horsey?

The horse and carriage,

you know,

that's romanichal tradition.

Horses go back in our culture

for a long, long time,

as far as people can remember.

Being in a carriage

is gonna make her day.

Bubba: Here we go.

You like it?

Wait for me, guys.

[ Horse whinnies ]

So we pull up to this venue.

It's amazing.

It looks gorgeous.

We've got a red carpet,

and I'm just ready to party.

Bubba: Come on.

You ready?

Holy jeez.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Whoa! Say hi!

Happy birthday!

Jett: Scarlett looks great.

The party looks great.

She's gonna have

the best birthday party ever.

You look so pretty.

- Thank you.

- It's crazy.

Jett: My mom was there.

She's looking at

Scarlett's dress.

She hates it,

but we're gonna have fun.

We're gonna turn this party out.

All eyes are on Scarlett.

We're having a blast.

Everything turned out the way

it should be.

This is the best

gypsy-Princess birthday ever.

This is ridiculous.

My granddaughter is wearing

crazy colors.

She should be wearing

white and big.

[Bleep], man. My daughter has

lost her [bleep] mind.

Somebody has got to step in,

and that somebody's gonna be me.

Narrator: Gypsy toddler

Scarlett's third birthday party

is in full swing,

but her colorful dress,

chosen by mom Jett,

goes against grandma Angie's

fiercely traditional ways,

and she plans to do

something about it.

I'm like, "[Bleep], this dress

is horrible looking."

To be honest with you,

I was complete dumbfounded,

and it's really shaming me.

- I need to talk to you.

- Okay.

Well, hold your --

hold on a minute.

Get up and come on.

I need to speak with you now.

This is a bunch of

[Bleep] to you.

What have you done

to this baby's party?

Well, it's not your party,

and it don't matter what

you want and what you like.

You look like a clown

walking up in here.

You look like a hypocrite.

For one thing, you don't even

look like a romany,

like a romany

should be dressed.

You've put yourself

in another religion somewhere.

You know what?

I'm down to earth.

My granddaughter is not

gonna look like that.

I'm down to earth. Bye.

I am not gonna have it.

- Get the hell out of here.

- That's under no circumstances.

This is what she's going

to have on.

- She's gonna have that on.

- No.

That's my granddaughter's dress.

Get off.

- It's hers.

- Do you know what?

- She's not wearing this.

- This is her party,

and she deserves

to be the romany that she is.

She is not wearing this!

She isn't wearing it.

Sorry. Nope.

Yep, rip it because

she isn't wearing it.

I will slap you with it.

She's not wearing that dress.

- I am not --

- she is not wearing --

she might not wear it now

because you done tore it up,

but I will get her one.

I promise you [bleep] that.

And you're [bleep].

[ Indistinct conversations ]

That woman's crazy.

Where is bubba?

My mother looked like

a complete clown,

but she wanted to tell me

how to dress Scarlett?

No, Scarlett looks like

a 3-year-old should look.

She doesn't look like she needs

to be put on a mermaid gown

and look like a flipping clown.

I'll have her another party

my [bleep] self,

and they will not be

invited to it!

I am [bleep] done!

Get the [bleep] camera

out of my [bleep] face now!

* happy birthday to you *

Jett: The drama's gone.

It's out the door.

I took care of her. She left.

This party is gonna go on.

* happy birthday to you *

yay!

One, two, three,

blow them!

Blow your candle.

- Yay!

- Whoo-hoo!

Yay!

This birthday party

turned out amazing,

except for the little incident

with mom,

but we took care of that,

got her out of here.

Scarlett loved it.

I know she truly felt

like a Princess.

I wanted to give my miracle baby

the best birthday party ever.

Just seeing her excited, I knew

I had done something right.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Yay!

Whoo!

Narrator:

Gypsy bride-to-be Dallas

is struggling to come to terms

with having to wear her sister's

hand-me-down wedding dress.

My man's gonna laugh at me.

He's gonna tell me

I look like a little

Dolly coming up in here.

[ Speaks indistinctly ]

...His wife.

Yeah.

I can fix it to fit, but I can't

change the color in 24 hours.

It's beautiful.

It's a beautiful dress.

I just wish it was white.

What are we gonna do?

[ Sighs ]

The skirt is removable.

You'll have a mini

for the rest of the day.

So why don't you

just try it on?

Maybe you'll like it.

Let's just see.

What have you got to lose?

If you don't like it,

you don't like it,

but at least you tried it on.

Yeah, let's try it on.

All right.

Laurie, get pins.

So this would all fit,

you know,

and we would make

this fit like this.

Give me the pins.

Let's make this skirt fit.

Okay.

So what do you think?

I think I'm in love with it

now that it's on, honestly.

I was a nervous wreck there

for a while.

I was, too.

Ooh, I'm going to fall in it.

I love it.

I think it's gorgeous.

I'm so glad you love it now.

Sondra, how am I

gonna twerk in this?

This was a complete turnaround,

unbelievable.

She puts this dress on

and she loves it.

I mean, now that it's on me,

it's, like,

I don't even want

to take it off.

Last week, I did not plan

to get married.

I did not want to.

But now that I see me

in this dress,

I'm bridal material, and I'm

ready to walk down the aisle.

It's a beautiful dress.

Pack me up and send me

away now to the altar.

[ Laughs ]

Narrator: Coming up...

Ah!

Narrator: ...Dallas' dream

wedding turns into a nightmare.

Your outfit

doesn't go with that.

I'm not allowed to be happy

by nobody!

I'm not allowed to be happy!

Narrator: It's the day of Dallas

and Jay's wedding,

and the Stanley household

is getting ready to celebrate.

I'm excited to doll myself up

and feel good for a day.

I'm gonna worry only

about myself and my kids

and, you know, how happy

I am, and enjoy myself.

- Turn that down.

- Mom, I am the bride.

I need to get ready.

All right, mom, move.

Let me get done.

I'll stick this right up you.

Come on. Try me.

Move, Demi. No.

You're gonna break it,

daughter.

- Mom.

- What?

You know where that

rue21 bag went?

Dallas, I am not looking

for a rue21 bag.

It's got my makeup brushes

I just bought.

[ Bleep ]

When you have a day

to get a wedding ready,

that's when your mind

goes crazy.

Ah!

Once I get the straps on,

we'll tighten you up,

so don't worry.

Sis, are you okay?

Do you like it?

Do you want it?

Want to wear this?

Whoo!

It looks great.

All right.

We take a picture now.

That looks really, really good.

- Right?

- That is absolutely amazing.

You need to change

your lipstick.

No. I don't want no pink.

Well, you need something else

then, maybe something like this.

I don't wear lip gloss.

Your outfit doesn't go

with that.

I didn't pick the outfit

out to go with me.

The outfit has got

to go with me.

- I don't go with the outfit.

- All right.

Well, you have to go

with the outfit right now, okay?

It's not about what she wants.

It was about what I want.

She isn't gonna ruin

this wedding for me.

I haven't even yelled at you.

I've let you get ready up there.

You have been upstairs

getting ready.

Bridezilla all day!

It's not bridezilla!

I'm not allowed to be happy!

I'm not by nobody!

I'm not allowed to be happy!

She's only tended to herself!

- Dallas --

- no!

You tell her to leave me alone,

and y'all leave me alone!

I'm going to kill somebody.

I will, and I am.

You need to leave.

- No.

- Goodnight. See you later.

[ Crying ]

Jay:

[ Humming the "wedding march" ]

[ Beatboxing ]

When is mommy coming, Richie?

When's mommy coming?

I have no idea

what's happening right now.

I'm just waiting on Dallas

to get here.

I don't know what's taking her

so long, and I started to drink.

This is classic Dallas.

She's never on time, never.

Oh, I can't get in here.

This skirt's too tight.

[ Grunts ]

[Bleep] My mother.

[Bleep] This car.

[Bleep] This cold weather.

This is [bleep].

This is [bleep] [bleep].

I do not want to deal with this.

Ben, I do not want that camera

in my face, please.

I need to drive, and I can

not take that light.

Ben: Okay. Let me --

I'm driving now,

so turn it off.

Ben: Let me just get

a quick shot of you --

- no, please.

- Okay, okay.

Dallas: I'm driving myself

to my own wedding.

I don't need no one's help.

It breaks my heart that my mom

is gonna argue with me

on my wedding day, you know?

I'm trying to, you know,

be happy for once.

I'm a woman now.

Now, respect me like one,

and act like I'm a --

you know, I'm a person to you,

like, I'm a daughter.

Great, I forgot my train.

Great.

Now I've got to walk right

straight into the wedding

like this.

[ Speaks indistinctly ]

It's that time of the month.

It's not that

time of the month.

Everybody just seems

to screw up everything,

that I'm trying to put right.

Mm.

I was so angry.

I walked myself down the aisle

just to show everyone

I did not need no one

by my side,

and I did not want

no one by my side.

- You look good.

- Thank you.

So do you.

Dallas:

When I got to the altar,

I just calmed myself down

and said, "let's do this."

Jay and Dallas, marriage is

the promise between two people

who wish to spend the rest

of their lives together.

Jay, please take Dallas'

hand and repeat after me.

- Dallas...

- I take you as you are...

I promise from this day

forward...

I promise from this

day forward...

To fill our life with adventure

and our home with laughter.

To fill our life with adventure

and our love with --

or home with happiness,

whatever he just said.

Dallas, would you

please repeat after me.

- Jay, I take you as you are...

Loving you who you are now

and who you are yet to become.

Loving you now and who

are you are yet to become.

Jay, do you take Dallas

to be your wife?

I do.

Dallas, do you take Jay

to be your husband?

I do.

And by the power vested in me,

I now pronounce

you husband and wife.

You may now share your first

kiss as husband and wife.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Congratulations.

Now let's get out of here,

honey.

Narrator: After seven years of

twists and turns

in their relationship,

these two lovebirds

are finally married...

It feels good to be married

to Dallas,

and I wouldn't change a thing.

I'm extremely happy.

This may not have been

the wedding that I planned,

but seeing Jay at the altar

made it my best day of my life.

Narrator: And luckily for

the wedding guests,

bride and mom's tempers

have cooled.

Me and my mom have, like,

a hate-love relationship.

We could kill each other

one minute

and then love

each other the next.

We have a lot of ups and downs,

but we also have the love

that overcomes everything,

and always got one

another's back no matter what.

My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding (2012) - full transcript