My Best Friend's Girl (1983) - full transcript

This film was restored by PATHÉ in 2016

MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL

Yeah.

Coming.

What's going on?

For Christ's sake!

Not at the store?

Come in.

Did I wake you?

Of course you did.

I just got to bed!



What's wrong?

Something serious?

Sit down.

What's the matter?
You look totally zonked.

Are you sick?

Bank hassling you?

You look like an avalanche
just felled you.

Look me in the eye.

You won't believe it.

Is it a problem or a disaster?

Pascal...

You're not in love again?

You've got it.

I can't take it anymore.



I warned you. That's out!

Calm down, Micky, please.

Who is it this time?

A girl.

- Do I know her?
- No.

You're hopeless!

A girl passes by and you're in love!

We agreed you'd lay off a while.

At least six months.

True!

My answer is "No!"

A flat-out "No!". Get it?

I'm not going to get involved!

Just come and take a look.

Where is she?

In my bed.

Already?

You moron!

I told you
not to give in to provocation!

There was none.

There always is!

Not this time.

It was just natural.

Natural, my ass! As usual,
you'll eat your heart out.

Is this her car?

What a heap!

Let me go in first.

Well...

what do you think?

All I can see for now is an ass.

This is Micky.

He's very important to me.

Hi.

What are you doing in this bed?

Me?

I got picked up.

Does it happen a lot?

Sure...

If I like the guy.

I bet you're an expert
on French bedding!

Your buddy's a nice guy.

Not his buddy, his friend!

In fact, I'm his best friend.

I advise him on every move.

When I talk, he listens.

For ten years,
no one has ever come between us.

Not even a girl?

No. Girls come and they go...

We stick together and watch them go.

What if one of them felt like staying?

Like who?

Like a girl who's tired of lugging
her bags around.

Did you hear that?

She spoke about bags.

Aren't you listening?

Not really.

He's looking at me.

He can look und listen.

Is that so hard?

It depends on how hard
he's concentrating.

What d'you think?

She's a smartass.

See her eyes?

They knock me out.

Isn't someone likely to miss you?

No, nobody.

Damn!

Listen, this is serious.

I met this girl last night.

I don't know where she's from
or what she has in mind.

But I know

she's in my bed...

and she's so sweet I couldn't sleep.

I want her to stay here.

To stay as long as possible.

All right?

Whatever you say. It's your place.

Are you for or against?

Neither. We Swiss are neutral.

- Going to mope two weeks?
- It'll last that long?

I'm no trouble.

I've never met a girl who wasn't.

Leave me alone. I'm going home.

How can you after seeing her?

What did I see? A chick in a bed.

Not my chick, nor my bed.
So screw it!

Not a chick...

A vulnerable woman
in need of warmth and kindness.

She's found both!

What now?

I have to work. Stay.

What for?

To keep her from taking off.

Pascal, you're starting to piss me off.

I know, but will you do it?

I'll do my best.

I knew it!

Don't hug me like that!

I've got an offer.

My house.

- What for?
- To live in.

- With you?
- Yes.

I don't know your name.

Pascal Saulnier.

I own the resort ski shop.

I'm Viviane.

Viviane Arthaud.

All I own is in my car.

Make yourself at home.

We'll spoil you.

I've got to work now.
See you later.

My buddy'll take care of you.

He may be gruff, but he's a real gem.

Ask anything of him, as if he were me.

Take care of her.

From now on,
she's my most precious possession.

Is he always this wonderful?

You think he's wonderful?

Not bad for a ski bum.

Is it the first time
anyone offered you his home?

How does it feel?

I'm a bit scared.

Only natural.

Has he had many other women?

Loads of 'em.

As many as he wants.
But he can't keep them.

Why not?

He's just too nice.

I bet you're even nicer.

Don't let my looks fool you.

- You want coffee?
- Please.

With toast?

With butter?

And cranberry jam?

I think I've landed in a great set-up.

Did you serve his other girls
breakfast in bed?

Some of 'em.

You two are really organized.

Sure.
One scores and the other cleans up.

How's it going?

Great.
She's singing in the bathtub.

- Breakfast in bed?
- You bet.

She enjoy it?

She's in heaven.

You think she's in love yet?

She's in love.

You mean it?

She thinks you're wonderful.

She does?

That's fantastic.

Afraid so.

Their romance could start
getting on my nerves soon.

Enjoy!

Why is he so moody?

Don't worry, he'll get over it.

He was charming earlier.

He's what's known
as a manic-depressive.

Enjoy!

Why are you sulking?

I'm not sulking.

You haven't said a word.

I've got nothing to say.

Drop it.
He doesn't want to talk.

Do you resent me?

Why should I?

What do you think of our romance?

You two?

Yes, our love affair.

I haven't decided yet.

First off, is it a love affair?

In your opinion...

You know Pascal well.

D'you think we'll stay together?

Careful how you answer!

Get off my back! I've got no opinion.

If you're waiting for my blessing,

don't hold your breath.
It's too soon.

You're drags!

Your affair's okay, but I'm skeptical.

Why not look on the bright side of life?

Let life look at me
and give me reasons to be optimistic.

Anyway, you're crazy to sit there
in the hot sun,

just to give her an eyeful
of your manly chest.

You look like a tourist.
Plus, it's dangerous.

Put on a hut, at least.

I'm okay.

He's okay now,
but how he gripes when he isn't.

You're a pain in the ass!

Where's he going?

To get a hat. He knows I'm right.

He's always getting headaches.

What's up with them?

Such familiarity!
Just because they're on vacation!

Mind your skis and let us eat in peace!

Honestly!

He really gets headaches?

Yes.

Often?

I don't keep count, but pretty often.

What about you?

Me, I'm a physical wreck.

You should be healthy up here.

We should be.

D'you get bored?

Not really.

What does Pascal do?

He works all day.

The store?

- And you?
- Nothing.

- Don't you work?
- Only at night.

- That's great!
- Why?

You can help me unpack.

What are you two talking about?

It's a secret.

Got a washer?

Of course!

Know how it works?

Of course I do.

Know how to act friendly too?

It brings me bad luck.

- Where's the machine?
- That way.

How about you?

What?

- Is there a woman in your life?
- No.

Nobody?

Nobody.

How come you don't have a woman?

It bothers you, huh?

I'm just surprised.

Why? Am I so irresistible?

I think you're weird.

How so?

Just weird.

You're giving me a weird look.

Your eyes are telling me something.

But I don't know what.

Me neither.

There's friendliness...

There's wariness...

Hard to say in what ratio.

Let's say 25% friendliness
and 75% wariness.

Scared I'll steal your buddy?

Well, it's just the opposite.

You'll keep your buddy...

and gain a friend.

Can men und women be friends?

It'd be nice for once.

Yes, it would.

Shall we try?

Okay.

Where do we start?

Let's put on some music.

What for?

For atmosphere.

Good idea.

What does Pascal listen to?

- Nothing.
- What do you mean?

No records?

No.

Hasn't he got a stereo?

No.

Where are his books?

Hasn't he got any?

No.

What does he do at night?

He goes to bed, or watches TV.

I won't last long in this place.

What kind of music would you like?

Anything. Just music.

Something mellow.

It's not his fault.
He's a former athlete.

He's no intellectual.

All he knows about is skiing.

And you? What do you know?

Not much either.

- Do you like watching me dance?
- Not really.

Don't you enjoy it?

How about this?

I watch beautiful girls dance
every night.

Really?

I work in a nightclub.

I'm a disc jockey.

Really?

Why are you prancing around?

Want me to stop?

Would you? I'm getting dizzy.

Something troubling you?

Not especially.

- You want to go?
- No. Why?

You look odd.

How so?

You're up to something.

Are you falling in love with me?

You're nuts!

Why?

It's no crime.

Maybe not,

but it'd be a real hassle.

For who?

- D'you have many friends?
- No.

Me neither. He's the only one,
and I don't want to lose him.

Even if his woman's a tease.

I'm not his woman yet.

For me, you are.
You live with him, you're his.

Not much is sacred in life, but that is!

Keep talking, Micky.

It boosts my morale
to hear things like that.

You're a really decent guy.

What's so decent about me?

I'm capable of behaving like a bastard.

No, not you.

Don't be so sure.

I am.

I can tell you're a nice guy.
It's obvious.

You think so?

What if I did?

Did what?

Fall in love with you.

You'd better not.

You know of any cures
for that sort of thing?

Fight fire with fire.

That's what vaccinations are for.

What do you mean?

Let's make love.

When?

Right away. Before it's too late.

Love is a sickness.
You've got to catch it off-guard.

Otherwise, you've had it.

Let me get this straight.

You, my best friend's girl,

are proposing that I sleep with you
in his home.

Why not?

Just because he's your buddy
doesn't mean he has to know.

Are you some kind of tramp?

What're you up to?

Just talking.

In the dark?

What time is it?

8 pm.

Shit! I'd better get dinner on.

We didn't notice the time.

You talked all afternoon?

Yes.

About what?

Everything and nothing.

Just chewing the fat.

What sort of fat?

Life, memories... things like that.

You seem weird.

Who?

Him or me?

Both of you.

Micky, he says we seem weird.

In what way?

Like you're hiding something from me.

Are we hiding something?

Not that I know of.

Shit!
I feel like I'm in the wrong house.

Is this better?

I mean it...

I felt us if I was intruding.

That's because it was dark.

Not only that...

There was something else.

What?

You were acting guilty.

Guilty of what?

That's what I'd like to know.

Go on, Micky, tell him.

He's guessed.

Guessed what?

Well, something unfortunate happened.

What?

- I insulted Viviane.
- In what way?

I tried to sleep with her.

What happened?

She turned me down. And how!

He said you two share everything.
Is that true?

I get it.

You were putting me on!

You had me fooled!

I was scared stiff!

You jerks!

- Want a scotch?
- Sure.

Shall I get your slippers?

You two are a real pair of clowns.

Are you sure she's in love with him?

Shut up.

No need to panic.

So far, it's not dramatic.

Okay, I've fallen for her
and it's a drug...

but it's no tragedy.

It'd be much worse if I loved her.

That'd be serious.

There are two solutions:

Either I keep it to myself...

and don't let on...

or I make my move.

But if I do, that means I'm a bastard.

Let's assume I'm a bastard.

What does it feel like?

Maybe I could get used to it.

Life is full of cool bastards.

Maybe they're so cool
because they're bastards.

How is a bastard different
from a good guy?

The good guy hasn't got the balls
to be a bastard.

I'm a born coward.

I'm condemned to be a good guy
all my life.

Wait a minute...

I just hit on something.

It means that I'm honest
because I'm chicken,

and it takes guts to be a bastard.

That changes the whole picture.

You're sweet to come by.

I was getting a little bored here.

I didn't come to see you.

I was passing by
and I thought I'd pop in

to say hello

and see how you're doing.

Need anything?

No, I'm fine, thanks.

How about you?

I'm alright.

I'd like to ask you a question,

but it's not an easy one to ask.

It isn't?

It's the kind you ask,
then regret having asked.

So don't ask.

The problem is I really want to ask it.

That's no problem.

You can say anything to me.

Think so?

Of course.

What's your question?

Remember when you felt like hearing
some music

and I went to get some tapes.

Then you started to dance

and you suggested something.

What did I suggest?

That we make love.

I did?

Were you kidding?

Feel like it now?

Not especially,
but since you suggested it...

I thought it over...

Provided it's strictly
on a friendly basis,

it might be an interesting experience.

Come on.

Where to?

To the bedroom.

D'you prefer the sun deck?

Not really.

You know, there's no hurry.

We could think it over.

Think what over?

Come on... We'll think later.

You see? It was no big deal.

Did you enjoy it?

You don't look like it.

My conscience is bugging me.

I like you in the role of a bastard.

Stop pawing me.

You loved it before.

That was then and this is now.

Time marches on!

Are you always so nasty
after making love?

D'you expect me to bill and coo?

You said you loved me.

I say that to everybody.

I say that to all the girls.

I blubber when I screw.
It's all bullshit.

Maybe it isn't.

Listen, Viviane.

We had ourselves a nice lay.
Period.

You've got lots going for you,

but you're not the first girl I've laid.

I've scored with prettier ones than you.

Not often, but even so...

I've got a terrific headache.

A headache isn't serious.

His happen to be very bad.

Too much sun?

No, we ate in the bedroom.

What bedroom?

Ours.

- What did you eat?
- Creamed cod.

That must be it.

That's it. There's the answer.

- Feel nauseous?
- A bit.

- Your neck hurt?
- A little.

- And your eyes?
- Not too good.

That must be it!

Off to bed! Don't play the hero!

When he's like this,
he stays in bed all day.

He can't even stand the sound of skis.

Shall I give you a sedative?

- Got one?
- Of course.

D'you think it'll help?

Don't you take them?

Try it out.

- I'm against them.
- Why?

They're habit-forming.

Just once isn't habit-forming.

You take it once,
you're trapped for life!

Is it better to suffer?

He could relax and sleep.

My darling, I'm sorry...

I've ruined our evening.

There'll be other evenings.

It's funny,

my head aches so much...

I can hardly open my eyes...

yet I want to make love.

You do?

We can work something out.

Really?

Relax.

Close your eyes.

Blank out.

Oh, my darling...

I was so lucky to meet you.

He's asleep.

What are you doing on my lap?

Making myself available.

Just in case...

If you feel like kissing me.

- Cold?
- Yes!

That'll warm you up!

Now listen to me.

Before you came to the resort,

there were two buddies,
Pascal and Micky.

Two old buddies.

See who I mean?

Let's get two things straight...

Whatever happens...

even the shittiest situations...

they'll remain friends.

And no two-bit tramp like you

is going to come between them.

No matter how great a lay she is.

- Get it?
- Yes.

You've got the choice.

Either you get back in your heap,

I throw your bag in after you,

and you clear out for good...

Believe me,
we'll get over you fast enough.

Or else you stay and make Pascal happy.

And only Pascal.

I want you to be loyal and loving.

Understand?

Which'll it be?

I'll stay.

Who with?

Pascal.

In that case, step this way.

I'm sorry, Viviane.

I got carried away. It's dumb.

I just wanted to clear things up.

Don't be sore at me.

Please don't leave.

What'll I tell Pascal
when he wakes up to an empty house?

You're crying?

Don't cry.
You're not alone. We're here.

You're too pretty to cry like that.

I don't want to see you cry.

I want to see you laugh,
dance, twirl around!

- Want to go dancing?
- No.

You can't go to bed with a guy
who's zonked out on Valium!

I'd like to go to the seashore.

Tough luck.

For now, we're in the mountains.

Come on.

Come here.

D'you know who that girl is?

No.

She's my best friend's girl.

Where's your best friend?

He's sick.

What a fool!

A woman like that
shouldn't be left alone.

She's not alone. She's with me.

Then dance with her.

Enjoy her while your friend's sick!

Remember, I'm your best friend's girl.

What's up?

I wanted to see you.

I'm busy as hell.

Can't we talk anyway?

It won't be easy.

- Are we friends or not?
- Of course we are.

Sometimes I wonder.

About what?

About the honesty of our relationship.

What are you talking about?

How long have we been friends?

About ten years.

You couldn't stand me at first.

I couldn't?

Not at first. But I insisted.

Are you sorry?

No. I'm just reminding you
that it was my idea.

Why so emotional, all of a sudden?
You sick?

I want to go away.

- Where?
- Australia.

What for?

That customer's been waiting
half an hour.

How would you feel if I left?

Cut the crap, will you?

You don't give a damn.

You've got Viviane, so you don't care.

If the world collapsed,
you wouldn't notice!

I hear you're depressed.

I'm okay now. False alarm.

Can I come in?

What for?

To see your place.

It's just a sloppy bachelor pad.

Pascal asked me to come.

So here I am.

He said: "Micky's really down.

You've got to cheer him up."

Shall I cheer you up?

I like your place.

Needs a woman's touch, but it's nice.

- You sleep up here?
- Yes.

- Can I go up?
- No.

Too bad.

Why?

Just because.

Since I was feeling blue myself...

I thought if we made love,
we'd feel better.

What's on your mind?

How can you be such a tramp?

I've had lots of practice.

I was lucky to start very young,

so it's become second nature.

Want some tea?

I'd like that.

Don't move!

Are you in the loft?

Yes.

In bed?

Are you angry?

No.

Are you coming up?

Yes.

D'you love me?

Yes.

Come with me to my place, quick!
You've got to see this!

- What is it?
- Something terrible.

Come and see!

- What?
- Look at this bed!

Notice anything funny about it?

No. It's empty.

That's just the point. It's empty!

Wait a minute.

You made me leave work at rush hour
just to show me your bed's empty?

It's always empty!

It's empty day and night,

weekdays und holidays.

It's always empty.

I sleep alone. Understand?

I've had it.

I'm fed up with waking up
to an empty bed,

while other guys
sleep with beautiful girls.

Me? I sleep with nobody!

See what I'm getting at?

It's tough being your friend!

I'm exhausted.

You say you have sudden panic attacks

that leave you shaking.

I feel like I'm being followed.

By what?

By images.

Tell us about the images.

They're not really images.

It's more like a presence.

I feel a presence, even when I'm alone.

It's always there.

Is it a friendly or a hostile presence?

I can't tell.

It freaks me out!

I just don't know.

Nothing serious, I hope?

No cause for alarm.

A simple case of fatigue.

Have you ever taken tranquillizers?

Who, me?

You're the patient, aren't you?

You're prescribing me tranquillizers?

And plenty of rest at home.

For how long?

At least three months.

You need rest.

What am I going to do?

You're going to rest, pal.

We'll take care of you at my place.

You're lucky to have such a friend.

Friendship is the best medicine.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm lucky to have both you and Viviane
here with me.

Won't these pills mess me up?

Tranquillizers never messed up anybody
who wasn't already messed up.

Good night.

How d'you feel today?

A bit better? Calmer?

I'm okay.

You look better.

- I doubt it!
- You do!

You might get dressed once in a while.

It's depressing to stay in pj's all day.

I'm sick. Sick men wear pj's.

Some sick men shave, and wash.

I'm a sick man who stinks.

Why should I wash?

I'm all alone.
At least my b.o. keeps me company.

I'm cold.

No, you're not.
The water's piping hot.

I should know!

If I say I'm cold, I'm cold!

This is as hot as it gets.

It's really cold!

The hot water's about to run out.

You don't give a damn!

What is it?

- I'm scared!
- Scared of what? You're safe here!

What if I died?

You're not going to die!

What if I had a blood clot?

Where?

In my brain, stupid!

They think you're overworked,
give you pills,

but in fact, you've got a blood clot
as big as a marble.

If it blocks up, you're dead!

What if you found me dead here
in your bed?

Your best friend!

I need an encephalogram!

Who was that doctor, anyway?
Has he ever cured anyone?

Calm down.

Everything's ok. I'm here.

I'm here.

I'd like an extra pillow.

You've got three!

I want a fourth one!

I've got to sit up.

If I fall back, it may be for good!

Ok, I'll get you another pillow.

I want Viviane's pillow.

What for?

Don't ask.

Some things you'll never understand!

Now go get me Viviane's pillow!

What are you doing?

It's for a friend.

Know what you need?

A nice little woman.

Not a bad idea.

- Think it'd do me good?
- I sure do.

Well, one who's no great beauty.

The pretty ones often spell trouble.

But then again...

not a real dog either.

Just cute enough.

Or a kind of hidden beauty...

With glasses,

and gorgeous eyes behind them.

What a great guy.

You've no idea,
but he's always full of tact,

sensitivity, modesty

and true generosity.

Why don't I sleep in his hut,

so you two can sleep together?

You'd make a fine pair.

D'you love me?

Yes, I love you.

Are you thirsty?

You bet I am.

How about some midnight champagne?

I'd love a glass,

with some chicken and a dab of ketchup.

At your service.

What're you doing here?

Come and see.

What is it?

Come here!

Your buddy's a real creep.

Not at all! Don't exaggerate.

There's no harm in it.
He wanted to share our happiness.

Look how he's sleeping.

Just like a baby.

Hey, Pascal...

I just had a scary thought.

Are you a total jerk, or what?

I'm like everybody else.

I'm floundering.

Did you sleep well?

Yeah, not bad.

A few nightmares.

Nice day, isn't it?

Very nice.

You're already dressed?

What's the occasion?
Where are you going?

Listen, Micky,
we've got some bad news for you.

You're leaving.

Just for a few days.

Where?

Paris.

For the Ski Show?

Like every year.

Taking Viviane along?

She doesn't know Paris.

What about me?

You'll take care of the place.

I don't want to stay alone.

You'll be fine.

Sleep in our room, if you like.

I don't want to be by myself.

He doesn't want to be alone.

Well, he'll have to!
It's only a week.

I have to go for work.

Between minding the booth und meetings,

it won't be a pleasure trip!

What if I had a relapse?

Why look at me?

No reason.

If you expect me to hold his hand,
forget it!

I'm nobody's nurse.

It's only a week.
It'll soon pass.

Don't worry about me, I'll survive.

I love you, Viviane.

Too late, Micky.

You should have said.

You're an angel to do this.

I'll never forget it.

Could I be making a huge mistake?

What do we tell Pascal?

About what?

About you and me.

D'you like what's happened?

Sure. But what do we tell him?

Do you want things to continue?

Sure. But what do we tell him?

We could tell him the truth.

We can't meet on the sly forever.

How can I tell him such a thing?

Very simply:

"Pascal, I love Viviane." Period.

He already suspects as much.

I fall in love with all his women.

He's no fool.

This is different.

You'll tell him;
"I'm in love with Viviane,

and she's in love with me."

You're in love with me?

Yes.

Since when?

The first day we met.

Pascal,

my old friend...

Why do we destroy things we love?

That's life.

We didn't invent it.

It was like that before us.

Pascal, listen to me.
Don't look at me, just listen.

I have something terrible to tell you.

It's so sick...

that you won't even believe it.

Do you really love me?

Yes.

Why? Pascal's much better.

True.

Pascal's better.

But I prefer you.

What can I say, Pascal?

You're tall, handsome and rich.

I'm short, ugly, fat...

and a slob. But she loves me.

Figure that one out for me
cos I don't get it.

Maybe it's my style...

Some men look like lovers
and others like husbands.

Be honest.

Swear you're not a tramp!

Does it matter so much?

Listen, Pascal, it's very simple.

No use beating around the bush.

Viviane's coming with me.

No use asking why or how.

No explanations. We're just doing it.

Go on. Beat the shit out of me.
I deserve it.

But I warn you, it won't change a thing.

We love each other.

You won't back out on me?

I'm not ruining a 10-year friendship
for nothing!

Are you backing out?

With me, it's different.

Why?

I know that...

if I pass on a chance like this,
I may never get another.

It's great to be home again.

Back with friends.

You're looking better.

I'm back on my feet again.

Did you go skiing?

Not really.

We took some nice walks.

Notice anything strange?

Where?

In this room.

- Notice anything strange?
- No.

The suitcases.

What about them?

There are two.

So there are.

Isn't that normal?

No.

Why not?

I only had one when I left.

What's in the other one?

Presents.

Here, Micky. This is for you.

Thanks.

Look what he got for me!

Why a gun?

Isn't it a nice gadget?

Sure.

Is it real?

You bet! Come on...

What's wrong?

Nothing. Why?

Usually when lovers
have been apart for a week,

they rush to each other's arms.

Where are you going?

I'll be back.

He suspects something.
Talk to him!

This can't go on.

I can't take the pressure!

I'm going.

He won't like this.

Do as you want, Micky.

It's your life.

What're you doing here?

I can't sleep.

Me neither.

Too much white wine.

I guess so.

I'm glad you're here.

You are?

I've got some important news for you.

Good news or bad news?

Good news.

I'm not infatuated with Viviane anymore.

You're right!

That's great news!

What happened?
You met someone in Paris?

No.

Tired of her?

No.

- You found out something about her?
- What's to find out?

I don't know.

It's a sad fact, with women,

you never know what to expect.

True. Anything can happen.

That's true of men as well.

I guess so.

I wonder if men aren't more two-faced
than women.

You could be right.

Maybe so...

But why are you dropping Viviane?

I'm not...

I truly love her now.

Shit.

I can't sleep for some reason.

I'm really thirsty and restless.

What are you two talking about?

Secrets.

If they involve me, let me know.

Thanks.

Isn't she beautiful?

Not bad.

Maybe I'll marry her.

And have a baby with her.

What do you say?

It's a great idea.

Have you told her?

Not yet.

This is a good time.

I just don't know how to tell her.

You don't expect me to tell her?

Why not?

As a favor for a friend.

You are my friend?

Of course.

You didn't tell him?

No.

What'll you do now?

I don't know.

I'll go back to my place.

And try to live a normal life
until spring.

After that...

maybe I'll go to St. Tropez.

They might need a disc jockey there.

So here I am...

Back to square one.

Put away your seducer's outfit.
You're no ladykiller.

Set your sights a little lower:

Taxi driver, maitre d',

a silent and dedicated manservant...

"Madam is served."

"Madam's car is ready."

"Monsieur informs Madam
that the guests have arrived."

Talking to yourself?

Afraid so.

When you're alone, you talk to yourself.

Why not come and see us?

It's two weeks since we saw you.

I don't want to intrude
on your honeymoon.

The honeymoon was over long ago.

Are you and Viviane having trouble?

Tell me!
There are three of us in this affair!

We may soon be four.

Another guy muscling in?

I see no other explanation.

She won't let me get near her.

Never any show of affection.

If you saw how we spend our evenings,
you'd be scared.

That bitch!

You say she had a lover?

Yes.

Who?

Me.

Again?

I tried to fight it.

It's no fun being a bastard.

You're not a bastard...

you're just a man.

In the 10 years we've been friends,

she's the first girl you've stolen.

No need to be ashamed.

What's going on here?

I'm leaving.

But you can't.

I told Pascal everything.

Everything?

About us, and our love!

What did he say?

What could he say?

He knows he can't fight it.

We're free. No need to hide.

Sorry, it's too late.

I'm tired of the Alps. I need a change.

You can't leave with this guy!

Why not?

Don't you realize

that he'll ditch you
once he's tired of your ass?

Who said I was marrying him?

Where'd he come from, anyway?

Where d'you come from?

What does she see in you?

Can't be your looks. What a face!

He looks like a baboon!

Can't you see he's a thug?

He'll grab your pearls and mink,
and run!

I'm not materialistic.

I don't care!

I'm warning you:
I've got a gun, and I'll shoot!

Put away that squirt gun!

Can't you see she wants to split?
Careful or you'll hurt yourself!

Shut up or you're a goner!

Don't move!

I've got you covered!
You won't get away with this!

What kind of line did you feed her,
anyway?

I fed her nothing!
She picked me up.

Made me quit my job
to go to the Riviera.

It's no use.

I'm just a rambler.

I've always been that way.

That's how I am.
I can't settle down.

I've just got to move.

Take care, Micky.

Say hi to Pascal for me.

Thank him for his hospitality.

The main thing
is that we're still friends.

Aren't we?

Of course we are.

How can they be such sluts,

when they could be angels?

The answer's not up to us,
but to medical science.

We treated her right.

If she'd had any sense,

she'd have kept us both.

We could have rotated.

She can go to hell for all I care.

Besides...

what was so great about her?

I mean really great.

Not a lot.

Her boobs, maybe.

Yeah. Her boobs.

But you can't go far on a pair of boobs!

See one, you've seen 'em all!

It's the rest that counts.

Devotion,

sensitivity,

conversation!

Conversation-wise she was no whiz.

She wasn't very bright.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer!

She was no Marie Curie!

She sure wasn't!

Actually, pal, we're lucky.

Her taking off was a blessing.

- You think so?
- I do.

First of all, we're pals again.

We'll have a nice dinner...

a relaxing evening...

with intelligent conversation.

What if she came back?

We couldn't be that unlucky.

What would you do if she did?

I'd kick her ass
to teach her a lesson.

What if she's sorry,

and comes back all teary-eyed?

You want to soften me up, or what?

Want to demoralize me?

My morale isn't that good anyway.

She won't come back.

Girls as adorable as that
never come back.

Don't get your hopes up.

She's gone. She's far away.

She's forgotten us.

That's life.

Life is hell.

What if she came back anyway?

We'd take her in our arms
and start fighting over her again!

You idiot!

A restoration carried out
by Eclair/Groupe Ymagis on the image

and by L.E. Diapason on the sound
with the support of the CNC