Mr. Vampire II (1986) - full transcript

Modern grave robbing "archeologists" find perfectly preserved specimens from the past of a man, a woman, and their child. Unbeknownst to the scientist and his two bumbling assistants, these are vampires immobilized only by the paper spells pasted on their foreheads. While transporting the child to a buyer, its spell blows off and the vampire child escapes and befriends some local children. Eventually, the parent vampires are also awakened and escape, but by now the local herbalist is on their trail to destroy them.

Mr vampire ii

Who told you to travel? Keep busy

Professor, how much can this antique get?

A few dimes

only a few dimes?

Go and see for yourself

made in Hong Kong

Hong Kong


professor, over there's cave from

which these things were found. Look

go and have a look

let's go

So slow. Go in first

I'm afraid

this will boost you up

go in, quick


Go away

Get out

Professor, help

unzip it

Help me, help me quick

calm down. Don't be afraid

Splendid. A tonic


Professor, it looks like a grave. Let's go

go? Look, what's this?

It's gold teeth

we're rich

you're no longer needed here

you scatter to find. Don't swallow it up

You're swallowing it again. Show it

are you going to show it?

How can you eat this?

It's a tonic


professor, look

open it

want to get rich?

- Sure!
- Go then

don't look

lend a hand

you're good for nothing



I mean what's inside her

don't touch her. It's more valuable intact

you mean including the body, professor?

If we find a buyer, we'll be rich

come and lend a hand

Professor, a small one too

mother and son in the same coffin

that's empty, the corpse is gone

where's the corpse?

Where's the corpse?

Maybe out for games

yes, he's out to find you

he hasn't gone out

he's right here

he's got weapons

signs of fight


For a sake of money?

For girls


Who cares? Take them away when dark

come on, move him down first

Don't pace up and down. Clean the dust

She died peacefully

not peacefully, beautifully

the face is still elastic after a century

see if your heart still beat

my heart's pounding hard

it doesn't beat

What are you doing?

I want to have her clothing cleaned

what? Don't tear it, it's an antique

let me bathe her then

bathe her?

Bathe yourself! Stop making trouble

you're up to no good

right, he tries to molest a corpse

is that any of your business?

Sure, because you want to undress her

not your bloody business!


Is that any of your business?



Don't think I am afraid

You're interfering

see if you dare to interfer again

what are you doing? Let go my little bird

take it back

I long it only next to my mammy

little bird, get up

little bird, don't die

don't die

month-to mouth resuscitation

don't toy with the little bird, professor

what a nuisance


Mr Nelsson

I'm kwok tun-wong

I've something good for you


Corpse of the chien lung reign

show me a sample

sample? I'll show you a small one


You smoke too much, you may get lung cancer

you eat many worms, you may get cancer

Professor, so corpse can make make

how much can these get?

What do you mean?

Afraid I may take away your share?

You've never taken my share into account

I'm going too

there's little hope for us then

hope? We're out of hope


Can't I hear it?

Sonny, you're getting naughty

I've already switched it off

my hands are on the steering wheel

don't frame me





why run so fast?

Well, why I am running so fast?

Professor, the corpse's moving

a moving one gets a better price

go back and see - hurry up

professor, only the spells are left

bad. What about the two
things in the studio?

Go back quickly

Each time I stare at you

your eyes are full of tears

It makes no difference even with a general

Corpse-appeasing talisman

so scientific?

It's all right

ghost tamer chung kuei sketched it

it touches yin & Yang and
links the 5 elements

it can exorcise all kinds of spirits

it's called the corpse-appeasing talisman

any corpse pasted with it

may get provoked

descendants shouldn't ter it off

or it may resurrect


So horrible?


Damn it!

Advance, retreat

advance, retreat

crouch down

Little bird. Finsihed

little bird, you're free

what about me?

Professor, those...

Those two corpse can move

then spell must be torn then

how do you know?

I should have warned you

how are the things inside then?

I overpowered that female corpse

what about that male one?

He's out to get able-bodied men

non sense, he nearly overpowered me

what now? Professor

get the things ready

they're inside

look out from the transom

Open up

I watch here

I'll run if anything happens

don't worry, I won't go in

Go and get the things

What are you up to?

Saw him into two pieces, then mince him

for making soup?

I've never tired it

get a rope. We must take him alive

Professor, where's that corpse?

Bring me a rope

what shall I use them?

Hands, like a successful man does


Get the gun under my pillow

gun? When did you buy it?

Yesterday. Go ahead


Why are you kicking him?

You may provoke him to pursue me


Profesor, he's still moving

chicken', where's that talisman?

I've torn it

Has it become a dud?

Maybe it's too small


Professor, he's still trembling. What now?

Get a rope to tie him

get back the small one before dawn

don't let anyone know it

lend a hand


come to the garden to play

dad, dad


Dad, I need a bamboo stick for the lantern

I'm busy

get it from the greenhouse

all right

Dad, dad

what's it now?


dad, the greenhouse...


no, dad

don't disturb me. Go out

let's go and get help

It's inside

let's break in


Why? Are you afriad?

Go in. Shout and we'll come to your help


Run quickly

what's the matter with you?

You promised to help me

we've been fooled, only one plane

this shows I did't lie

but you fooled us

I really didn't lie.
Never mind if you don't believe

I don't need you to believe me
I really saw it

I believe you

they all don't believe me. Do you?

You must be lying


her again? Switch on the TV

eat with them

lower the soung volume

come here on holiday

you children may not like me

they will

let's talk about it later

be sure to come to see you


dad's here. Let's eat

you're naughty

you're a pest

dad, stop that, the food's getting cold

eat now

here now is the news report

this morning, police at sai kung sea

intercepted a boat carrying 7 men and 2
women and several children's stowaways

small human snake are up to 12 years old
and at least 4 years old.

They had drifted for three days and nights

before being discover by marine police

dad, what's small human snake?

A chiild illegal immigrant

they're so called because they can't stay

these are the small human snake

poor little things

they're cold and hungry

to avoid getting arrested

dad, I'm full

Where are you going?

To play with puppy

Dad, there are two men and a woman here

why are two men washing dishes
but woman goes out?

Had they been two adults and a child

it's logical for the adults to work

why is that adult not working then

to let the childre go out to play?

Can be one adult two child?

Can't we make the children work?
And let the adult play?

What would you play then?

Since your mom died, there's much to play

feeding, changing diapers,
cleaning bedsheets

washing clothes and dishes

dishwashing is also a play?
Then I won't stop you.

Go to play yourself

I'd better take another wife

You're rude. Why don't you knock?

Go away

sorry, sorry

Come out, don't be afraid

I knew you were here

Don't be afraid

I won't tell uncle policemen

we are friends, ok?

It's cold here. Go in with me

Hold out your hand

Let's go

Chia-chia, what are you doing inside?

Dad, keep away

go in quick

it's rainning. Why did you go out?

Never mind

never mind?

What's hidden in the wardrobe?

Nothing, nothing

come on, let me see

Bad, I must go to bed. Go out

good night

It's real fun

who's it?

Brother, come in, I'll show you something

what is it?

Come in quick!

What's the noise?

Dad, I grimaced to scare him


don't run wild


don't be afraid

Don't be afraid. He's friendly

stand up!

Brother, isn't it fun?


if dad knows, he may call the police

let's not tell dad

let's cross our finger

let's cross finger

daddy won't know it

when the thumbs touch

the secret won't be leaked

hu, hurry up

it's late


hurry up


don't run wild. Watch out for the flowers

why are you so early?

Fine, later cloudy with intermittent rains

dad's out

tell him to come out

all right

What has become of him?

I know

dad says a 'small human snake'
can't see the light

let's draw up the curtain

why are chia-chia & others still not here?

Go in to find her

let's go

let's goin

don't come in

why don't you let us in?

Go out

who's he?

Don't touch him


You may scare him

I'll open it to let you see

don't be afraid, they're my friends

I'm glutinous rice chicken

I'm spring roll

I'll trussed duck feet

I'm layer cake

what's his name?

No idea. He can't talk

just call him 'ok boy'


- Ok boy?
- Good



I must make it straight

are you giving me te hand of gin?

No change in half a century

uncle, please think it over

we were childhood friends

I have my principle

I'm only a reporter, but I'm hardworking

if she leaves me, she
won't find a better man

no more nonsense

my late father was your good friend

you must consider that

try to win sympathy? No!

There's no hope for us?

Maybe there is. Inherit my medicine shop

and I'll make you my son-in-law

anyone taking her must take my shop

I'm not interested in medicine business

I'll turn it into a photo studio

idiot, I'll find somebody else



work hard, and this shop will be yours

thank you, boss


I must tell you the truth

I've already done it with gigi

what? How dare you lie?

I've already done it


yes, dad?

Did he take adventage of you? Tell me

he does that every day

hear that?

Impossible, she must've got me wrong


yes, dad?

Listen, did he?

It's all right

dad, the die is cast

the die is cast

are you lying?

Why should I do you in

since I've already done her in?

What do you mean?

Take your time to think about it

sir, want a prescription or the doctor?

The doctor

the doctor?

Boss, a patient

come in

sit down - thanks

what troubles you?

Just a small matter. Look

a small thing

does it still hurt?


How did you get this?

I was playing with a child next door

and he bit me when excited

children are inhuman when excited

I'm not sure it was a child's bite

but the one who bit you is inhuman


excuse me

husk some old-vintage glutinous rice

Why is uncle so excited?

It's a rare case, and a rare prescription

friends, how did you get this?

I was playing with a child next door

are you a doctor?

No, I'm a reporter

I'll take a photo


Jen, stop making trouble


are you sure it doesn't hurt?


Calm down

don't worry. You'll be alright

tell me frankly what caused this?

A child next door bit me...

All right, you may go home

thank you, doctor

Jen, I must go out. Watch here

what's up?

Watch the shop. I'll follow your dad

watch here. I'll tail them


It's youl!

Father-in-law, get in

follow that car in front

what happened?

The tiger in the zoo bit

tiger? Must be a vampire


What then?

Why are we going then?

To fix him

blast, I forgot the things

follow that car in front

don't ever go in

Get out

open up, I'm back

professor, open up

go and tell your dad it's here

open up

where are you going?

No more nonsense. Go and
get that little one

quick, quick

German-made lock, 1982

you can't confuse me


Sedative, any such things?

They can still move

a photo with them will make me famous

It works

this way there's no sense of reality

Can't I walk?

Get going

Sounds like Jen

that bastard?

Jen, what's going on inside?


Open up


Lend me a hand. Come on

come on

Don't be afraid. I'm here

it stinks

it's dangerous


He's up again

watch out

Watch out


Save dad


Give it to me

it doesn't work

he's powerful

dial 999 at once


hang up



I'm passing out

police, come on

Don't go away, help me

don't you believe what I told you?

They're real vampires

vampire? Crazy


a police raid

corpse-rifling is a serious crime

yes, let's go

professor, I don't want to be rich

I want no money

money? What about life?

You were bitten by that vampire

unless you get the corpse's blood

you'll die for sure

why didn't you tell me till now?

The police are already here

you didn't want me to live

luckily, I wasn't bitten

professor, I'll quit

that's not friendly

no point in considering that now

I'll bite you

it makes no difference

let's see where they're taking them

why are the police not
taking away the corpses?

What are you quarreling about? It's simple

someone dialed 999

the polive arrived and found 2 corpses

hand them over to the police

are they to be handed over to a museum?

Yes, our museum

they're antiques, not corpses


What makes you think they are antiques?

Because they don't decay

how long have they died?

At least 2 centuries,
judging from their costume

what if someone put animal skin

on the corpse after killing him

does it became prehistoric relic?

Are you an archaeologist or a sucker?

Make no wild guess

don't guess. Hand it over to us

and we'll operate to find its chronology

they can't be exhibited after the operation

that's easy

put your wife in a ching dress in a coffee

it was you who said they're antiques

you'll be held liable for what you said

you only talked nonsense

quite. This corpse...

Corpse? It's an antique

yes or no, I'll operate on it

no, I must protect antiques

hand it over to us for custody

okay, but it must be operated on first

they don't fit anyway

well, what now?

Use forse

don't be tough

well, take them to the police station


sorry, everybody

I'm no.2 fireman no water

our commissioner gave orders

not to remove the corpses until he arrives

is that any of his business?

I haven't finished yet

the immigration and
anti-smuggling commissioners

said they must decide on this too

Father-in-law lies inside

the wind are chilly

nonsense, it's the air conditioning


what are you doing?

Close the door at once

sorry, everybody

Open it

Take it down

Freeze it hard like ice-picks

he'll be all right then

even snow can melt

stab it and let me take
a photo for souvenir

Frozen too hard

not too hard, your father-in-law's too old

let me do it

can you?

Aim at the heart and stab

harder, to Pierce his heart

all right

take a photo for me as souvenir

push the shutter when I count up to three

come on, quick

one, two, three


bad, the sword's broken

father-in-law, what now?

Use fire to burn them

here? You may burn many to death

many people will die as a result

many will die if the corpse flee

bring kerosene at once

Father-in-law, someone's coming

play the corpse

bad, two corpse




let's look around

we can't find it among so many

that one without dress is it

Come over

he looks familiar

crazy, in hell?

I seem to have seen him before

over here


there's a way out

sure, or we wouldn't have been here

Whose blood shall we draw first?

The female, of course


The man fooled around before death

take the female out


Hold it tight

So hard

finished, all finished

I'll get another syringe. Soften her

hurry up

What are you doing? Move it quick

he's flaring up. Take them away


Father-in-law, they are
taking away the corpses

follow them


Hurry up

Don't make trouble

Step on the gas

I'm stepping too hard. Where are we going?

Find a place to burn them

so fast!

Make it soft

so hard

1,2,3,4.1,2, 3, 4.

Soft now, bring the syringe

hurry up

Father-in-law, the checkpoint

break it, step on the gas

break it?

What is it?

A truck is speeding off

stop it by every means

yes, sir


father-in-law, what now?

Break it


long live the queen

We really can't stop


That's no way to talk to an officer

father-in-law, what now?

Rush over

why don't you break in?

Father-in-law, not my fault

not your fault?


so you enjoy driving, go

go and I'll shoot. Go!

Sir, listen

I have no time for that.
You may choose not to speak

what you say will be
used to testify against you

I'm suing you for dangerous driving

resisting arrest, murder, etc.

What's inside? Open it

can't be opened

don't take me for a moron

come on

you don't have to

3048, 2040, open it

yes, sir

Stand it, don't let him come out

go away

what? I'll be finished if he gets away

stand it by every means

keep away

father-in-law, there's a crowd

disperse them

stand it

what's it?

Those two inside are vampires


Disperse them

Don't try anything foolish

don't worry, sir

stop! Stand back, all of you

father-in-law, what now?

Make way

what do you want?


a narrow escape

let me take a photo for a souvenir

bad, we're finished

Come and help put out the fire

the car's on fire


yes, vampire


there's a way out


Even the gun doesn't work

follow me

draw their blood

go and strangle him


Yes, go ahead

Out of the way

don't be in the way

run quick

make way

Father-in-law, what now?

Follow them


here is a news report

two suspected vampires appeared in n.T.

Lower the sound volume

they are still chasing and killing citizens

the situation is extremely chaotic

two vampires, according to TV news


Vampires in a movie?

They found two ok boys

they're not cute at all

Don't cry, father may hear it

don't cry. Let's go into the room

I won't see it anymore

I'd better return to watch the children

tell ying to watch the children for you

no need. I'll come back later

Come here

come here quick

Vampire boy


dad, don't

ok boy is cute



Hello, 9997?

Vampire here

The divine guidance says
southeast northwest

no point in making rounds here

quiet, can't you see I'm reciting?

Data section informing TV news team

vampires were found at castle peak road

please rush to scene

rush to the scene at once

don't recite anymore. Sit still

What took them so long?

Why are you so late?

The vampire is here


Ok boy

Turn on the light


Go in

blow out the house, if necessary


don't. Mr hu's family of three are there

don't worry, we'll help them

you two go in

me, too?

Go quick!

Sir, it won't help

you again. What's your background?

Father-in-law, tell him your quali

put down your gun first

my master samo had spooky encounters

now he's met the dead and the deadly

last year I caught a mr vampire

my name is lin Cheng-ying

mr lin, what do you want us to do?

Switch off all the lights

get some chloroform for elephants

I'll take care of it

I see

switch off the lights

Jen, follow me

sir, who's lin Cheng-ying?

No idea

who cares?

Stab on the chest of the vampires

Father-in-law, stab on his chest

Give me the sword

what about me?

Lure him to strangle your
neck, then I'll stab


go quick!

Lure him in


Ok boy

come back

Switch on the lights

prepare rockets


Follow me

yes, sir

put out the fire. Clear up the scene

yes, sir

Fire anaesthetic bullets

To kill them all

shoot calcium sulphates, kiss

It would be too brutal

the body is yours only in name

you are reborn from your own ashes

will Buddha give you an early new life!

Buddha be praised

Come with us to the station

Don't let uncle cop take him away

let's adopt him, okay?

What if he grows up?

He may suck human blood

I'm not afraid, I've much blood

don't, uncle, don't take him away

I really don't know what to do

he helped us once


uncle, are you arresting him?

Little girl, you like him?

Yes, he's nice, he never bullies

Don't cry, don't cry!

Uncle, he's asleep

let uncle take him to bed

don't worry. I won't hurt him

don't go away

you'll be caught once you're out

I have an idea

How about the small one?

Let's help him into early,
happy re-incarnation

uncle, goodbye!

Uncle, bring him when you're free

come when you're free

what about him?