Mr. Long (2017) - full transcript

We were digging a hole to bury that pig.

Stupid Yang hit his own feet with the shovel.

And fell right in!

He grabbed Fatty's legs to pull himself out

but Fatty was pulled into the hole, too!

Dumb-ass Yang got squashed.

He was crying like a pathetic goat.

Going "Baa, baa!"

Dogs were barking all over the place.

Houses started turning on their lights!

Shit...



Then the hole started filling up with rain.

Yang's stupid.

Yang almost drowned in there.

Someone that stupid should've been buried too!

We tried to help, but he was stuck in the mud.

He wouldn't budge. It took forever!

We were muddy and totally drenched,

but tried to yank him out.

We finally freed him.

Yang was buck naked from the waist down!

You know!

The full monty!

He covered his crotch yelling: "Don't look!"

And then get this. He fell back in.



We pulled him up again.

Dammit. His pants were back on!

N0 kidding!

I thought I was seeing things.

His underwear, too?

How'd he do that in the mud?

Underwear back on'?

Next day, Fatty's body was found.

It was in all the papers.

They found something else.

They found a pair of... women's panties!

Were they Yang's panties?

He's a cross dresser?

EXactlyl

It's beyond belief.

Are you serious?

That idiot's late as hell. What's he doing?

I guess they grabbed him.

Hope he doesn't blah.

It might be better if they whack him anyway.

Good. That means a bigger share for us.

Should I kill that idiot?

Yang, what're you doing?

Get over here.

Tomorrow night, Tokyo. Roppongi.

There'll be a driver.

Yo...

Tryin' something?

He came all the way from Taiwan?

Yeah.

To whack you?

Right.

You're movin' up.

Give my girl back.

Who the fuck are you?

Give my girl back.

Fuck!

That asshole!

Go get him!

Give me back...

my girl... Give her back.

There!

Where is he?

I'll find him.

Fuck!

He ain't here.

Where'd he go?

Where'd you come from?

Are you that dog I rescued?

The dog's repayment?

Yummy.

You speak Chinese?

My mom's Taiwanese.

Jun! Get back here!

Right now!

Over here.

Come on. Hurry up!

What's wrong?

Get back to the parking garage.

I don't wanna go back there.

Just do what I say. Go.

Hurry back.

Mom will die without this!

A scumbagjunkie.

Untie me!

Jun. Over here.

Please untie me.

Hurry!

Untie your mother!

Untie your mother.

Untie me!

Untie me!

What do you want?

Untie me!

Hello.

Angie?

What? I can't hear you.

Who is this?

Hello?

Japan? You're in Japan?

When does the next ship leave?

Lost your passport?

Next ship... Next ship...

I think it's August 30th.

It leaves from Yokohama.

I'll let the boss know.

300,000 yen.

No money?

Pull a robbery. Bye!

Robbery...

Hey. Come with me.

I was in the area, so I came by.

What are you doing?

Stop jabbering.
I asked him to cook for us.

It's delicious!

Good. Damn good!

Can you come to my house?

We're having a dinner party this evening.

Take some vegetables.

Just the reason I came.
Perfect timing!

You come, too.

I want to surprise everyone.

- Let's take them back now.
- Good idea.

It's late!
We have to prepare. They're coming.

Let's hurry!

It looks delicious.

Not regular Chinese food, right?

More than lunch. It's dinner.

Dinner means forks and knives.

Anyway, it's awfully good.

Isn't it? Long is a great cook!

So, you came here from Taiwan?

Why? What are you doing here?

Are you in trouble, Mr. Long'?

You can open a restaurant.

But he needs a license to open a restaurant.

He can do it on the sly.

So how will he communicate?

He doesn't speak Japanese.

It doesn't matter.

Work hard and you'll win people over.

Where do you live, Long?

Abandoned house in Kuroda.

What? You live in a place like that?

- Sounds fishy.
- ls he okay?

- Is he lying?
- That's nonsense.

Yeah, there must be a reason for it.

Don't sass me, Mr. Bad Hair Transplant!

Watch your mouth!

Carpenter, you have to fix up his house.

Leave it to me.

Long, let me know if you need a hand.

He wouldn't ask.
He's not shameless like you.

Hey, Long-

I'll hook up your electricity.

Instead of a restaurant, how about a stall?

That's a good idea.

And easier than running a restaurant.

I'm a butcher. I can supply the meat.

I'll bring you fresh fish.

And my veggies.

- We have to plan the menu.
- What do we serve?

- Pizza?
- Why pizza?

'Cause Taiwanese pizza's never been tried.

You're way off.

How about noodles?

- Taiwanese ramen.
- Good choice.

All right. Let's do it!

Let's do it.

Oh, "try" is English...

I couldn't help but notice...

I had exactly the same t-shirt.

No way he'd wear the same shirt as you!

Long, are you a fan of Perfume'?

Not while we're eating, shit head.

You chose these boondocks, just like me.

What's wrong with "the boondocks"?

And like me, you might never escape.

Don't talk like that.

They call this "snapping turtle town."

We like to help.
We latch on and never let go.

You're one of us snapping turtles, ain't ya?

That's true, but...

Here.
It's not enough, but please take it.

Thank you very much.

Long, please use this at home.

We have stuff too.
Drop by on your way home.

Stop by our house, too.

Why is all this happening'?

'Cause you act cool and don't say anything.

Morninq

Let's get started!

The lights are on!

Good job!

I brought the meat.

Here's the fish.

Meat cleaver, bread flour, seasoning...

Some shoes and clothes. Just old stuff.

You have to start preparing.

Wait, wait.

Next to the window.

Move your ass.

Long. Long, come here for a second.

Hurry!

So? Ain't it great?

A real carpenter.

I couldn't have made it.

'Cause you're a fish monger.

Aren't the flowers nice?

I'll plant some cosmos on the other side.

Hey, where should we put the cart?

At the convenience store?

The owner there is nasty.

It's impossible to park on the boulevard...

Station's no good, either.

How about the temple? It's a busy area.

Yeah, there's a school nearby.

Okay. I'll talk to the head priest.

We open for business tomorrow at noon!

Long, we'll come by before noon.

See you.

See you tomorrow

Noon. Tomorrow at noon.

TAIWANESE BEEF NOODLES

- It looks yummy!
- Let's take a photo.

Hot guy!

Looks so tasty!

Smells great.

- It's a big hit.
- 'Cause it's good.

We have to advertise.

Yeah.

Hey, Long. I've got mine, too.

I'm beat.

Wasn't that old fart annoying?

The bald guy? What an ass.

I wanna go home.

Money! Money!

Maggie?

Good work.

Nana.

Peipei.

Lulu.

Thank you, Yoko.

Here, Lily.

No money for you.

You damaged our car.

It wasn't me.

See you.

What's this?

I don't need it.

What?

Last night...

Thank you.

Fried prawns, fried minnow, tofu... (Mandarin)

For dessert...

Almond jelly, please.

"Keikan." Police.

You're a liar. (Mandarin)

You're the one they'll arrest.

What?

What'd you say'?

You don't catch, you get caught.

What does that mean?

Forget it.

Inu-

Balleiu...

Ballet?

You wanna be a dancer?

Ballet?

Ballerina.

Taiwan...

Which city? Hong Kong?

Hong Kong isn't in Taiwan.

Kaohsiung.

Kaohsheng?

No...

"Takao." (Japanese name)

Takao?

Who's Takao?

Who is he? What's he doing?

Takao's not a man.

Is he a devil or something?

If I have to, I'll kick his ass.

Kenji...

Are you a dummy?

Thank you, Sir.

"I love you." (Mandarin)

I love you. (Mandarin)

I love you.

Fuck you, asshole!

You knocked up our meat.

I love you... (Mandarin)

It's awesome. Check it out.

POWDERED MILK

Do it quickly.

See you soon.

A little something.

Dumplings? Thank you!

I got some good dope.

EVICTION NOTICE

Wait here. I'll be back soon.

Mommy!

What happened?

Stop crying!

Stop it!

- That was delicious!
- Wasn't it'?

Who is he? A friend?

He's cool.

- Long-sama.
- Like Yon-sama?

A Korean Wave star?

No. He's from Taiwan.

Which "wave" is Taiwan?

"Shin-kage Wave."

Give me a break!

But isn't he handsome?

He's gorgeous.

Long-sama!

Is that boy his son?

No, his mom's a drug addict.

He's a really hard worker.

I'm totally impressed.

I wanna support him more and more.

Let's open a website.

I don't know a thing about computers.

Can you do it?

Just leave it to me.

Long!

Look here.

One photo!

Long!

Don't bother him when he's working.

Look here!

Do it later.

I need a photo.

Just one.

Hey...

What's a killer doing makin' noodles?

Shit head! You stand right out.

Hey, you!

What are you doing?

We'll call the police!

Although it's impudent to introduce myself,

I left home when I was 14,

drifted in the criminal underworld,

became chief of the bandits...

lam Nippon...

...Daemon!

Imprisoned two or three times,

I am Benten Kozo...

...Kikunosuke!

Stealing from pilgrims,

under a false name,

I am Tadanobu...

...Rihei!

Like stars vanishing at dawn,

I am Akaboshi...

...Juzaburo!

Terrorizing and killing people by sword,

despiser of Buddhist chants,

I am Nango...

...Rikimaru!

Hey, butcher!

Who shouted that?
Was it you, ya bastard?

I desire feathers.

I desire wings.

I wish to fly away.

May you know that.

Prepare a bowl of tea. Tea!

Even Buddha does not realize...

Addicted to...

...sensual pleasures...

My humble love is...

...the cause of my ruin.

Young man, please wait.

If you do not know...

...l will tell it to you.

The notorious Benten Kozo Kikunosuke...

That is my name.

Shit, our play won third prize.

If you didn't fall, we would've won.

Next year we'll get Long on.

Then we'll win for sure.

What kind of play?

"The King and l'".>

Costumes would be too difficult.

How about modern drama?

Like "Spider-Man."

What about these coupons?

Long. You use them.
For the hot spring.

We got three coupons...
Who'll go with him?

I guess I'll go.

Why should it be you?

She's a junkie.

I mean she's sick...

She's not sick!

Go tomorrow.
With Long and your mother.

Jun... This camera. Take it.

Sorry.

What's the score?

3to 1.

My DOint!

Cheer me on.

I can't believe it.

Let's continue. What's the score?

5 for Mom.

And him?

1-

He's terrible.

I'll teach you later.

Hooray! I won again.

You can win, too.

What's this?

They're rice crackers.

Look at this!

It's so cute.

Take a look.

Thank you, Long!

Why did you draw hearts on the cup?

I just wanted to.

But Why?

Why did you use so many colors?

Because I like colorful things.

I'm tired. I wanna sleep.

Thank you.

See you tomorrow.

See you.

Good night.

Good night.

Take care.

Jun. Clear up quickly.

How was work?

I can't understand Chinese.

Jun, you should ask him yourself in Japanese.

Please let me join the team.

Hey. This kid wants to try out.

I'll have him throw one to you, okay?

Throw to him.

Good.

And again.

You almost got it.

Bring your arms in.

Look there.

Run, Jun, run!

Jun. It's suddenly heavy!

I'm pushing.

Push hard.

I'm pushing.

It's heavy...

Harder!

Are you really pushing?

What's going on'?

Jun! I forgot something at home.

You go ahead.

Long time no see.

You live here now?

Belongs to that kid you had?

You raised him by sellin' yourself.

He's already this big?

Are you okay?

You look beat.

Here, take this.

You can't escape.

From me.

From dope...

I searched for you all over.

Who's that guy?

You seduced him?

You were always good at that.

Stop pretendin' to be a happy family.

Come back to me.

Let's be friends again.

That guy from the stall... He's a dead man.

We've found him.

Don't worry. I'll take care of you.

Come back to me.

Then, I'll save your son's life.

Slut.

If you're not turnin' tricks

you should only fuck me.

Long, after you finish work

we're having a barbecue. Got it'?

We'll treat you. See you!

If you didn't have that kid

you wouldn't be in all this trouble.

Some dude raped ya and you got knocked up?

What a fucking asshole.

Total piece of shit!

One beef noodle.

Hey, kid. You're great.

That was good.

Jun. Clear up.

I'm home!

What're you assholes doing?!

Say what, motherfucker?

What's this about?

Stop it!

I'll call the police!

What the hell?

Are you taking the piss?

Get outta this town.

Tonight, 8 o'clock.

Sheshin Hotel, room 505.

Isn't that Mr. Long?

Hey, Long!

It can't be!

Long!

It's dangerous!

Watch out!

Please stop!

Why are you here?

Why did you come?

Why did you all come?

Why did you all come?

Why did you all come?

I'm going now.

So late for school?

Don't make me say it again.

I'm going.

Take care.