Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007) - full transcript
Mr. Bean enters a church raffle and wins a vacation trip to France as well as a camcorder. After boarding a Eurostar train and arriving in Paris, the French language proves a barrier for Bean, as he struggles to get across the city to catch a train to the south of France from the Gare de Lyon. Taking time to order a meal, he finds the consumption of a seafood platter to be a challenge. Just before catching his train, he asks Emil, a Russian film director on his way to be a judge at the Cannes Film festival to use his camcorder to record his boarding, but accidentally causes Emil being left behind at the station. Bean attempts to cheer up the director's son Stepan as the train continues south but matters are made more hectic by the fact that Emil has reported his son to have been kidnapped and Bean losing his wallet and essential travel documents at a pay phone where he and Stepan attempt to contact Emil. Heading in the direction of Cannes, Bean finds himself in the cast and disrupting the flow of a commercial being shot by the egotistical director Carson Clay. He and Stepan finally hitch a ride with the young and vivacious actress Sabine who is heading to Cannes to attend the premiere of Clay's film, in which she appears. After Bean sneaks into the showing, his camcorder images are destined to enliven the proceedings.
Three one. Thirty-one.
And now, to the first prize in today's
raffle in aid of the roof appeal.
Thank you, Lily.
Indeed. The magnificent holiday
to the South of France,
kindly sponsored by
Dalesborough Travel Limited.
So thank you, guys.
The winner of this prize will
travel by Eurostar train to Paris,
then catch
the fast train south
before spending the week on the
beaches of the French Riviera.
This fabulous prize also includes
200 euros spending money
and, Barbara,
this wonderful video camera,
kindly donated by
A&K Electrics
of Arbor Road, so thank you.
Right. The winner of
this amazing prize is...
Nine one nine.
Nine one nine.
Anybody have ticket 919?
If there is no claimant, I'll have to
pick another ticket from the bucket.
Anyone?
Yes.
Yes!
Yes!
It's me. It's me. I'm the...
Cannes. Cannes.
Coffee?
Sugar?
You speak very good French.
Oui, choo-choo, Gare de Lyon.
To the arch
at La Defense, please.
Look. Should we do anything?
Relax.
I think he's English.
Monsieur Clay, how long
will you stay in Paris?
Of course I'll be in Cannes
Sunday for my premiere.
Until then, I'm working
on an exciting new project
with this wonderful actress,
Sylvie.
- Sabine.
- Right.
One last question,
please, Mr. Clay.
Out of the way!
Out of the way!
Cannes, 1:05. Good.
Are you here for lunch?
Follow me.
May I recommend
the seafood platter?
Yes?
Yes.
What is this?
What's this?
Don't forget
the langoustines.
Cannes.
Could you video me?
Yeah.
No, back.
Back a bit.
Back, back, back,
back, stop.
No, no, no, no.
Back, back, I'll...
We'll do it again, eh?
Stop. Help!
Open... Open the door.
There's nothing here.
Stop!
Hey!
Help! Help! Open...
Papa!
Papa!
- Papa, what should I do?
- Get off at the next stop.
Papa!
No!
My bag.
Look at that...
Yes.
Stay calm.
Papa!
The train's not stopping.
Papa, what should I do?
Mobile telephone.
Papa! Papa!
His fingers are
over the last two numbers.
Right. 06, 08...
I'll write down
all the possibles.
01, 02, 03, 04...
59, 60...
97, 98...
99.
Mr. Dupont is unavailable.
Hurry up and get on!
Tickets, please.
You get in there.
Go, go.
Excuse me.
Can I have some money,
please,
so I can telephone my Dad?
Please?
Please?
Thank you.
What's with her?
Yes!
Come on.
I gave him my number.
He will ring.
Don't worry, he will ring.
Stop them!
Vandals!
I'm hungry.
Come on.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Do you have some proper music?
Something that
I'd like to listen to.
Okay, never mind. Bye.
To Cannes?
Damn!
What the...
What's this?
No...
Good.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
What the heck is he doing?
Where did he come from?
Some of us here are trying
to make a work of art!
Everyone,
back in position!
Get him in something different
and put him in the background.
You, sweetheart.
You never stop, okay?
Remember, you're crazy for
the taste of Fruzzi yogurt.
Then why is everyone
moving in slow motion?
Yeah, there's a hook.
Cannes jury member Emil Dachevsky,
the Russian film director,
explained that his son Stepan was last seen
on a train with a mysterious foreigner.
As soon as I saw him
I thought, he's evil.
Action!
Cut!
The guy with the video camera
is fired.
You're fired!
What?
Going again!
Are you ready?
Yep.
Action!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
My explosion!
Where's my explosion?
All I want is an explosion.
A little, tiny explosion.
Is that too much to ask?
Damn it.
Is it really so hard
for you guys?
I mean, all you have
to do is this.
Hello.
You saved my life earlier.
Going far?
Isn't she a beauty?
Dunlop.
I'm going to Cannes.
Cannes. Cannes.
Come on, get in.
Look at this.
So, you're Spanish?
No?
What is that accent?
Wait.
Let me guess.
You're not Italian?
No.
No.
And you're not Greek, no?
You are...
You're Russian, yes?
- What kind of idiot are you?
- What kind of duck are you?
My name is Sabine.
I am Sabine... And you are?
Bean.
Bean?
Bean.
Bean. Sabine.
Bean. Sabine.
Bean, Sabine. Bean, Sabine.
Bean, Sabine.
Bean, Sabine.
Do you like my costumes?
I love dressing up.
My invitation to the
Cannes Film Festival.
Remember the director
of the yogurt commercial?
Cut. Cut.
I have a small part
in his film.
I'm going to be
a big star.
He says it's his
masterpiece.
I need the loo.
Sorry.
I never got on the bus.
I was with these cool guys.
Hello.
I can't wait
to show this to Papa.
It's amazing
meeting your son like that.
Is she your girlfriend?
You're full of surprises.
Are you
going to marry her?
So does that
mean you're married?
Telephone! Papa!
Estelle, tell me
you love me or it's over.
We made it.
The sea!
I can see the sea!
Thank you.
Can you video me now?
You can see
Cannes over there.
Oh, my goodness, the
premiere starts in an hour.
Bienvenue and welcome
to the 59th Cannes
International Film Festival.
And on the red carpet
is Mr. Carson Clay,
the director of our premiere,
Playback Time.
And jury member
Mr. Emil Dachevsky,
attending today despite there
being no news of his missing son.
I'm going to get changed.
Fill her up.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Carson Clay.
This film is for all of us
who hunger for truth.
For all of us
who cry out in pain.
For those whose souls
yearn to sing.
He says
it's a very good film.
As pictures were released of the Englishman
believed to have abducted the son
of Cannes film festival
jury member Emil Dachevsky,
a positive ID of the boy was made
at a service station yesterday.
The police now believe the man is
traveling with a female accomplice.
A national manhunt
has been launched
and stop-and-search procedures have
been instigated right across France.
You are not Russian?
No.
You are not
this boy's father?
No.
Do you know the whole of
France is looking for you?
Now they look for me too.
Who are you?
Where are you going?
To the beach.
This boy's father is a judge at the
premiere of my film. We take him there.
And the beach?
Forget the beach.
I have only one scene
in this movie.
I am not going to
miss this premiere.
Not for you, not for
the police. Okay?
Now, do as I say.
My daughter.
My mother.
She's Spanish.
And very deaf.
Sir, we're in
a great hurry.
I don't want to
miss my premiere.
No problem.
Leave it to us.
Come on,
we'll find Papa.
Here you are, sir.
It's for one person only.
No, she's my daughter!
Please!
Leave her with Grandma.
Damn!
What is life but a
teardrop in the eye of infinity?
Together we lived,
we laughed, we loved.
But you left me.
And now, I walk
this wilderness alone.
What use is a cop
with a broken heart?
Without you, I'm nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing.
Stop!
Your pass, please, madam.
The Romans lit fires in the skulls of
the dead, that they might forget their past.
Wherever I look, I'm reminded
our relationship is dead.
DeBrock is making the drop.
- You stay.
- Do we go?
Me, Papa.
Let's do it.
I see him.
He's on the other side. Go!
It's me.
Okay, boss.
Nothing.
Hey.
The little boy?
Oh, look,
this is my scene.
It's winter now.
And the seeds of love
lie deep within me.
Will spring ever come?
I thought by now
I'd have met another,
- but...
- Hi...
It was not to be.
They cut my scene.
But I can show the world
that you were once mine.
I can relive
our time together.
Those precious memories
that I yearn to forget.
Time slips through
my fingers like sand.
The fires of our love have burned
out, and now there is nothing.
Nothing but a sky
black with ashes.
I won't forget you,
your kisses like soft fruit.
Your laughter bursting
into daylight like silver.
Your smile like the curl of the
sickle moon in the night sky.
Your luminous beauty,
your goodness, your patience,
how you hung on my every word.
You are now
in the arms of another.
Who is he, this man?
Does he have poise?
Does he have grace?
Is he a lover or a fighter?
What powers does
he have over you?
Do your eyes dance like fireflies
in the night when he comes to you?
Does your body soften
as your lips shape his name?
I can't believe
you've been so selfish.
Open the door.
Open up!
You are consumed by love.
It's Mr. Carson Clay.
How does he cast
a spell over you,
enchant you, beguile you?
Why did you shut me out?
Come on. Come on.
Where is he?
Where's the projectionist?
I struggled to survive.
When I look back on the darkest
moments of our history,
I knew that we would part.
Whose is this?
And that now,
I must let you go.
We will know
a deeper, surer love.
It begins fleetingly,
but it deepens and endures.
It grows amidst
all the strangeness of life.
It is a beauty
we can always depend on.
It is the beauty
of friendship.
Stop!
You stole my son!
No, he didn't!
Where is my son?
Where is he?
That... Here...
Papa!
Mama!
A very strange thing happens
when you're making a work of art.
Sometimes you don't quite see
the elements coming together,
and then, when it all comes together,
there's something magical,
something organic, and such
a thing happened today,
and everyone said
this wouldn't work.
They said it was
a terrible risk,
but I want to keep on
making films just like this.
The video-film combination, it's something
that's really been done before,
but not quite like this. I'm
glad the reception was so great.
And I'm just happy to be here.
Vive la France.
Bless you.
And now, to the first prize in today's
raffle in aid of the roof appeal.
Thank you, Lily.
Indeed. The magnificent holiday
to the South of France,
kindly sponsored by
Dalesborough Travel Limited.
So thank you, guys.
The winner of this prize will
travel by Eurostar train to Paris,
then catch
the fast train south
before spending the week on the
beaches of the French Riviera.
This fabulous prize also includes
200 euros spending money
and, Barbara,
this wonderful video camera,
kindly donated by
A&K Electrics
of Arbor Road, so thank you.
Right. The winner of
this amazing prize is...
Nine one nine.
Nine one nine.
Anybody have ticket 919?
If there is no claimant, I'll have to
pick another ticket from the bucket.
Anyone?
Yes.
Yes!
Yes!
It's me. It's me. I'm the...
Cannes. Cannes.
Coffee?
Sugar?
You speak very good French.
Oui, choo-choo, Gare de Lyon.
To the arch
at La Defense, please.
Look. Should we do anything?
Relax.
I think he's English.
Monsieur Clay, how long
will you stay in Paris?
Of course I'll be in Cannes
Sunday for my premiere.
Until then, I'm working
on an exciting new project
with this wonderful actress,
Sylvie.
- Sabine.
- Right.
One last question,
please, Mr. Clay.
Out of the way!
Out of the way!
Cannes, 1:05. Good.
Are you here for lunch?
Follow me.
May I recommend
the seafood platter?
Yes?
Yes.
What is this?
What's this?
Don't forget
the langoustines.
Cannes.
Could you video me?
Yeah.
No, back.
Back a bit.
Back, back, back,
back, stop.
No, no, no, no.
Back, back, I'll...
We'll do it again, eh?
Stop. Help!
Open... Open the door.
There's nothing here.
Stop!
Hey!
Help! Help! Open...
Papa!
Papa!
- Papa, what should I do?
- Get off at the next stop.
Papa!
No!
My bag.
Look at that...
Yes.
Stay calm.
Papa!
The train's not stopping.
Papa, what should I do?
Mobile telephone.
Papa! Papa!
His fingers are
over the last two numbers.
Right. 06, 08...
I'll write down
all the possibles.
01, 02, 03, 04...
59, 60...
97, 98...
99.
Mr. Dupont is unavailable.
Hurry up and get on!
Tickets, please.
You get in there.
Go, go.
Excuse me.
Can I have some money,
please,
so I can telephone my Dad?
Please?
Please?
Thank you.
What's with her?
Yes!
Come on.
I gave him my number.
He will ring.
Don't worry, he will ring.
Stop them!
Vandals!
I'm hungry.
Come on.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Do you have some proper music?
Something that
I'd like to listen to.
Okay, never mind. Bye.
To Cannes?
Damn!
What the...
What's this?
No...
Good.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
What the heck is he doing?
Where did he come from?
Some of us here are trying
to make a work of art!
Everyone,
back in position!
Get him in something different
and put him in the background.
You, sweetheart.
You never stop, okay?
Remember, you're crazy for
the taste of Fruzzi yogurt.
Then why is everyone
moving in slow motion?
Yeah, there's a hook.
Cannes jury member Emil Dachevsky,
the Russian film director,
explained that his son Stepan was last seen
on a train with a mysterious foreigner.
As soon as I saw him
I thought, he's evil.
Action!
Cut!
The guy with the video camera
is fired.
You're fired!
What?
Going again!
Are you ready?
Yep.
Action!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
My explosion!
Where's my explosion?
All I want is an explosion.
A little, tiny explosion.
Is that too much to ask?
Damn it.
Is it really so hard
for you guys?
I mean, all you have
to do is this.
Hello.
You saved my life earlier.
Going far?
Isn't she a beauty?
Dunlop.
I'm going to Cannes.
Cannes. Cannes.
Come on, get in.
Look at this.
So, you're Spanish?
No?
What is that accent?
Wait.
Let me guess.
You're not Italian?
No.
No.
And you're not Greek, no?
You are...
You're Russian, yes?
- What kind of idiot are you?
- What kind of duck are you?
My name is Sabine.
I am Sabine... And you are?
Bean.
Bean?
Bean.
Bean. Sabine.
Bean. Sabine.
Bean, Sabine. Bean, Sabine.
Bean, Sabine.
Bean, Sabine.
Do you like my costumes?
I love dressing up.
My invitation to the
Cannes Film Festival.
Remember the director
of the yogurt commercial?
Cut. Cut.
I have a small part
in his film.
I'm going to be
a big star.
He says it's his
masterpiece.
I need the loo.
Sorry.
I never got on the bus.
I was with these cool guys.
Hello.
I can't wait
to show this to Papa.
It's amazing
meeting your son like that.
Is she your girlfriend?
You're full of surprises.
Are you
going to marry her?
So does that
mean you're married?
Telephone! Papa!
Estelle, tell me
you love me or it's over.
We made it.
The sea!
I can see the sea!
Thank you.
Can you video me now?
You can see
Cannes over there.
Oh, my goodness, the
premiere starts in an hour.
Bienvenue and welcome
to the 59th Cannes
International Film Festival.
And on the red carpet
is Mr. Carson Clay,
the director of our premiere,
Playback Time.
And jury member
Mr. Emil Dachevsky,
attending today despite there
being no news of his missing son.
I'm going to get changed.
Fill her up.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Carson Clay.
This film is for all of us
who hunger for truth.
For all of us
who cry out in pain.
For those whose souls
yearn to sing.
He says
it's a very good film.
As pictures were released of the Englishman
believed to have abducted the son
of Cannes film festival
jury member Emil Dachevsky,
a positive ID of the boy was made
at a service station yesterday.
The police now believe the man is
traveling with a female accomplice.
A national manhunt
has been launched
and stop-and-search procedures have
been instigated right across France.
You are not Russian?
No.
You are not
this boy's father?
No.
Do you know the whole of
France is looking for you?
Now they look for me too.
Who are you?
Where are you going?
To the beach.
This boy's father is a judge at the
premiere of my film. We take him there.
And the beach?
Forget the beach.
I have only one scene
in this movie.
I am not going to
miss this premiere.
Not for you, not for
the police. Okay?
Now, do as I say.
My daughter.
My mother.
She's Spanish.
And very deaf.
Sir, we're in
a great hurry.
I don't want to
miss my premiere.
No problem.
Leave it to us.
Come on,
we'll find Papa.
Here you are, sir.
It's for one person only.
No, she's my daughter!
Please!
Leave her with Grandma.
Damn!
What is life but a
teardrop in the eye of infinity?
Together we lived,
we laughed, we loved.
But you left me.
And now, I walk
this wilderness alone.
What use is a cop
with a broken heart?
Without you, I'm nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing.
Stop!
Your pass, please, madam.
The Romans lit fires in the skulls of
the dead, that they might forget their past.
Wherever I look, I'm reminded
our relationship is dead.
DeBrock is making the drop.
- You stay.
- Do we go?
Me, Papa.
Let's do it.
I see him.
He's on the other side. Go!
It's me.
Okay, boss.
Nothing.
Hey.
The little boy?
Oh, look,
this is my scene.
It's winter now.
And the seeds of love
lie deep within me.
Will spring ever come?
I thought by now
I'd have met another,
- but...
- Hi...
It was not to be.
They cut my scene.
But I can show the world
that you were once mine.
I can relive
our time together.
Those precious memories
that I yearn to forget.
Time slips through
my fingers like sand.
The fires of our love have burned
out, and now there is nothing.
Nothing but a sky
black with ashes.
I won't forget you,
your kisses like soft fruit.
Your laughter bursting
into daylight like silver.
Your smile like the curl of the
sickle moon in the night sky.
Your luminous beauty,
your goodness, your patience,
how you hung on my every word.
You are now
in the arms of another.
Who is he, this man?
Does he have poise?
Does he have grace?
Is he a lover or a fighter?
What powers does
he have over you?
Do your eyes dance like fireflies
in the night when he comes to you?
Does your body soften
as your lips shape his name?
I can't believe
you've been so selfish.
Open the door.
Open up!
You are consumed by love.
It's Mr. Carson Clay.
How does he cast
a spell over you,
enchant you, beguile you?
Why did you shut me out?
Come on. Come on.
Where is he?
Where's the projectionist?
I struggled to survive.
When I look back on the darkest
moments of our history,
I knew that we would part.
Whose is this?
And that now,
I must let you go.
We will know
a deeper, surer love.
It begins fleetingly,
but it deepens and endures.
It grows amidst
all the strangeness of life.
It is a beauty
we can always depend on.
It is the beauty
of friendship.
Stop!
You stole my son!
No, he didn't!
Where is my son?
Where is he?
That... Here...
Papa!
Mama!
A very strange thing happens
when you're making a work of art.
Sometimes you don't quite see
the elements coming together,
and then, when it all comes together,
there's something magical,
something organic, and such
a thing happened today,
and everyone said
this wouldn't work.
They said it was
a terrible risk,
but I want to keep on
making films just like this.
The video-film combination, it's something
that's really been done before,
but not quite like this. I'm
glad the reception was so great.
And I'm just happy to be here.
Vive la France.
Bless you.