Monster in the Closet (1986) - full transcript

[music playing]

NARRATOR: The most
mysterious, unexplainable,

and inexplicable events
often takes place

in the most ordinary
places, places

like the small quiet college
town of Chestnut Hills.

Usually these seemingly
unexplainable occurrences

are eventually explained, but
every so often they remain

mysteriously inexplicable.

Sometimes it is best to accept
the unexplainable rather than

search in vain for
inexplicable explanations,

for some things are
simply unexplainable.



The movie you are about
to see is one of them.

[screaming]

[monster growling]

[screaming]

Here doggie, doggie.

Can't fool me, Garbanzo,
no sirree, not old Joe.

I know every one of
your hiding places.

[thud]

Ha!

Gave yourself away, old girl.

Old Joe may not be able to
see worth a hoot in hell.

I can hear an ant
piss on a sponge.

Yes, sirree.

Ah, gotcha.



[dog barking]

Here, Garbanzo.

Here, doggie, doggie.

Here, doggie, doggie.

Now be a good doggie and
bring old Joe his slippers.

Here, doggie, doggie.

Now where do you suppose
that old dog could be?

I don't suppose he could
be-- dag blast that dog.

Well, I'll get me own slippers.

Dag nabbit, that dog
will be the death of me.

[screaming]

[monster growling]

CHILD: 21, 22, 100.

Ready or not, here I come.

[car horn honking]

OK, knuckleheads.

I hear ya.

So come on out!

[door creaking]

[thud]

OK.

I hear ya.

Come on out!

Look, dummy.

I said I heard you in there.

Now come on out!

[music playing]

[screaming]

[music playing]

[trolley ringing]

[crowd chattering]

[phone ringing]

Excuse me, Chief?

Could I talk to you for--

Richard, how many times have I
asked you not to call me chief?

Sorry, Mr. Bernstein.

Ben.

My name is Ben.

Now you've been here for almost
a year, for Christ's sake.

Everybody calls me Ben.

Hey, Scoop.

Hey, Cliff.

How you doing?

Hey, Vinny,

Great story, Scoop.

[laughter]

Scoop, that the best
thing you've ever done.

You're going to win
another Pulitzer.

Oh, that's sweet, Maggie.

Am I going to see you tonight?

Call me later.

It's not the big
story in a scoop

that keep a big city newspaper
alive day in and day out.

It's the little things, Richard.

What you right, that's
what's important.

That's what makes
this paper click.

The obituaries?

[inaudible].

It's just a
challenge [inaudible].

Hey, Chief.

Scoop, baby, what
a great story.

Yeah.

Hey, sit down.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Hi, Scoop.

Hey, Dickie Boy.

How you doing?

We were just talking about the
possibility of a more important

assignment for Richard.

Yeah? [laughs] Well, hey,
that, uh, that sounds great.

It's just that I know I
could get the big story if I

just had the right assignment.

Maybe something political.

Something with a
little meat to it.

BEN: I'm sure you
could, Richard.

RICHARD: I know I don't have
any real training as a reporter.

Of course, the only reason I got
this job in the first place it

because--

BEN: Richard, it's nobody's
business how you got the job.

I just don't think--

Wait a second, Chief.

You know, Dick's
got a point here.

Well, he never
does get a chance.

He always gets the garbage.

[laughs] While guys like
me get to pick the plums.

Chief, what do you say we,
uh, we give the guy a shot?

What'd you have in mind, Scoop?

Here, Dick.

He can, uh, he can have
my next assignment.

No, Scoop.
Come on.

I can't.

I can't--

Big murder case up
in Chestnut Hills.

RICHARD: Murder case?

Well, Dick, three
murders within a week.

Each body found with two
mysterious puncture marks

on it.

Now this is not just another
small town murder, Dick.

Well, it's a, it's a conspiracy.

Right, Chief?

I'm beginning to think so.

This could be the hottest
story in the country.

And no other major paper's
picked up on it yet.

It's all yours, Dick.

And you'd let me
have your story?

Take it before
I change my mind.

Chief?

Well, I suppose we could get
Hoffman to do the obituaries

for a week or two.

OK, kid.

Run with it.

Tssh.

Gah.

[laughs]

SCOOP: That story's
three weeks old.

[laughs] Chief [inaudible].

[music playing]

[police radio]

[phone ringing]

PROFESSOR: Hold it a
second, will you, Mister?

OK.

Go ahead now.

You want me to do it again?

Sure.

[phone ringing]

So what are you doing anyway?

I'm just recording lots
of different sounds.

It's for a project I'm
working on at school.

Here.

I guess this one's yours.

Oh no.

Thanks anyways.

I'm not allowed
to eat chocolate.

[phone ringing]

See?

You're still alive.

What's this project you're
working on all about anyway?

Have you ever heard of a
ultrasonic energy augmenter?

Ultrasonic energy augmenter?

No, I don't believe I have.

If it works it
could be the answer

to our whole energy problem.

Thanks for your
help, Ms. Bennett.

[phone ringing]

I'll be sure to take all
this into consideration.

Look, I realize how crazy
it all sounds, Sheriff,

but I really think you
should-- Professor?

What is going on?

Uh, excuse me.

I'm afraid it's y fault. I
told him you wouldn't mind

if he had just one little bite.

I thought--

Well, I'll tell
you what I think.

I think you had no
business telling him that.

What's wrong with
a little chocolate?

What's wrong with
a little chocolate?

A, it's bad for your teeth.

B, it's bad for your skin.

C, it's bad for your whole body.

And I could go down the whole
alphabet if I had the time.

Now it's fine with
me if you want

to poison your own children,
but in the future will

you do me a favor?

Stay away from mine.

What are you doing?

[inaudible].

Who was that?

Some crazy lady
from the college.

She thinks there's
some kind of a snake

that's doing the murders.

You the guy from the newspaper?

Yes, Richard Clark.

Sam Ketchum.

Come on in.

Did you say snake?

I told you she's crazy.

Have you seen these pictures?

Them two marks were found
on each one of bodies.

Probably a ice pick or some
other kind of sharp instrument.

Now that lady, Ms. Bennett, she
teaches biology or something

over at the university.

She come in here and
said to me that them

holes was probably made by some
kind of a giant snake. [laughs]

Well, I've dealt with
some kooks in my time,

but that takes the cake.

For heaven sakes, them two holes
is over an inch wide apiece.

Does that sound like
any snake you ever seen?

[spit pinging]

No.

Wasn't no snake that
dragged Mary Lou Caldwell

15 feet across the room.

Wasn't no snake that picked
up Joe Shempter's dog

and hung it on the closet door.

No, sir, Mr. Clark.

We ain't talking
about not snake here.

[spit pinging]

What We got here is
a homicidal maniac.

He's bound to screw
up sooner or later.

And when he does,
we'll be there.

[inaudible]

Waiting him out.

This is where Mary Lou got it.

I'll show you
where we found her.

RICHARD: Does there seem to
be any theory or explanation

about the closets?

SAM: Nope, but
we're working on it.

Just a matter of time
until we figure it out.

I got my boys working
double shift now.

Just a matter of who and how.

We'll get that sucker.

[music playing]

Hi, hon.

Roy, what are you
doing home so early?

I finished work at the
office, so I took off.

Great.

I'll be out in a few minutes.

Hon, I'm going to
run down to the store.

Do you need anything?

We can use a quart of milk.

OK.

I'll be back in
about 15 minutes.

[music playing]

What are you doing, Roy?

I thought you were
going shopping, honey?

Change your mind?

What's wrong, Roy?

Roy!

What are you doing?

I can't find my
keys to the car.

Can I borrow yours?

Sure.

They're in my red purse.

Where is it?

Top shelf in the closet.

Thanks, hon.

[music playing]

[screaming]

[monster growling]

[screaming]

Do you hear that?

Sounds like it
came from outside.

[spit pinging]

It killed my husband!

It's in the closet!

All right.
All right.

What's going on here?

It was big and brown
and [inaudible].

Pull yourself together, lady.

Anybody know what
she's talking about?

She ran out of this
building screaming,

somebody killed my husband.

Shower.

She said a monster did it.

Well, somebody take her inside
and throw a glass of water

in her face.
-[inaudible].

Better stay back, son.

Ooh-wee what a mess.

Ick.

I don't know about no
monster or nothing,

but that lady's right
about one thing.

This guy's dead as a door nail.

Hi.

I suppose you've come here
to poison all my students now.

Look, no chocolate.

Just because you're
an unarmed doesn't

mean you're not dangerous.

Look, I'm sorry
about this afternoon,

but I've gotta talk to you.

It's about the murders.

Who are you?

I'm from the San
Francisco Daily Globe.

Richard Clark.

Sheriff Ketchum told
me about a theory

that you have about
a snake that's

been committing the murders.

That's the most idiotic
thing I've ever heard.

Do I look like a
complete imbecile?

If the sheriff had bothered to
listen he would know that I was

only trying to tell him that
the marks found on the bodies

had the same characteristics
as a snakebite.

I don't know what it means.

I'm not a detective.

But I certainly
wasn't suggesting

that some wild snake
has been running

around murdering people.

There was another murder today.

Oh no.

I saw the body.

It had the same two marks
and I also found something.

Diane?

Diane?

Have you seen my
maxillary [inaudible]?

I had it two minutes ago.

And I can't even
remember where I was.

Mr. Mergis.

No, Dr. Pennyworth.

This is Mr. Clark.

Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

But you're coming to
dinner at Diane's tonight?

Mr. Clark has brought us
something very interesting.

I think you should
take a look at this.

Oh.

That's strange.

Do you feel the heat?

Yes.

Yes.

Hard, isn't it?

It seems to be some
sort of animal claw.

Never seen anything
like it before.

Diane, Diane, I'd, I'd like to
run some tests on this at once.

Oh, if that's all
right with you?

Sure.

When do you think
you'd have the results?

Well, I, I might know
something this evening.

But since you're coming to
Diane's house for dinner--

Oh, I'm sure Mr. Clark has
probably made plans already.

No, actually I
don't have any plans.

Can I take Mr. Clark
upstairs now, Mother?

Not now, Professor.

Why not?

A, we have other guests.

B, we haven't had dessert.

And C, I'm sure Mr. Clark
would like some time

to finish his eggplant.

You're too kind.

No, really.

Now, now, now.

If you don't clean your
plate, no cucumber pudding.

Look, a cockroach.

I'll get it.

Wait, Professor.

Stop and think for a moment.

Remember, even a cockroach
is one of god's creatures.

Oh, that's right.

Why, there's so much
you can learn from even

the tiniest of insects.

Now if you capture
that cockroach, why,

you may end up with
a scientific specimen

that you can dissect and study.

But if you merely
squash it on the table,

well, then all you've got
in the end is garbage.

You're missing
the point, Phillip.

No matter whether you squash it,
dissect it, burn it, or eat it,

it's still the same thing.

You're violating god's
sixth commandment.

Martin, when I was a young
boy I found a little frog.

I decided I would study it.

So I cut it open
and looked inside.

Oh, there were
bowels, intestines,

all the usual things.

But when I happened
to squeeze one mucous

membrane a slimy green
substance squirted

out right into my face.

It was not unlike the
color of a rancid avocado.

I took one drop
of this substance

and studied it
under a microscope.

And from my study
of that one drop

there emerged my later
discovery of a cure

for cholera, which has saved
millions and millions of lives.

FATHER: That's precisely
the point, Phillip.

If we continue to slaughter
defenseless creatures

we are no better than
the animals themselves.

PHILLIP: You would have us
stay, then, in the Middle Ages.

And if I were to believe--

FATHER: Diane?

Diane, are you all right?

Oh, uh, yeah.

I was just thinking.

Um, Professor, why
don't you take Mr.

Clark upstairs right now, OK?

Would you like to see it now?

Boy, that would be great.

I hate cucumber pudding.

So do I. Well, this is it.

So this is the famous
ultrasonic energy

augmenter, huh?

Here.

I'll show you how it works.

But first you have to
record some sounds.

The augmenter will bounce
the sounds back 1,000

times their normal energy.

Now all we have to do is--

[yelling]

Come on.

[yelling]

[police sirens]

[inaudible].

Something terrible [inaudible].

It's in the house!

It came out of the closet
and tried to get Jimmy!

-What did?
-A monster!

It was horrible!

[inaudible] you stay here.

BOY: I want to see.

DIANE: No.

[inaudible].

Freddie, come on inside.

Looks like we gonna catch us
a little monster here tonight.

DIANE: Sheriff Ketchum,
Sheriff Ketchum, wait.

You don't know what
might be in there.

I know what's in
there all right.

What is in there is
some giant brown snake

and I'm fixing to
go in and skin it.

Ben, Barney, get the door.

She could be right.

[inaudible].

Sheriff [inaudible].

(ON MEGAPHONE): OK.

We know you're in
there, so come on out.

You've got 30 seconds to get
out here with your hands up.

Now you've got 15 seconds to
come out with your hands up.

If you don't come
our here, we're

going to come in and get you.

[monster growling]

Everybody hold your fire.

[monster growling]

[screaming]

OK, friend.

Trick or treat's over.

Now you stop right there
and take that costume off.

[monster growling]

It's incredible.

[monster growling]

OK, buddy.

That's far enough.

You take one more step
and I'm going to shoot.

[monster growling]

[gun firing]

[screaming]

[monster grunting]

[yelling]

[guns firing]

Let's get outta here!

Chestnut Hill police calling.

We've got a 999 on
McAllister Street.

Some sort of a monster.

[guns firing]

[monster growling]

Where do you
think you're going?

I've got to find
out where it's going.

Now, now stay back.

Stay back.

[police sirens]

DIANE: It's gone.

What was it?

Something no human being
had ever set eyes on before.

You wanted a story, Mr. Clark.

Oh, you may just
have the biggest

story the world has ever known.

I only pray there's someone
left to read about it.

[music playing]

MAN: Extra, extra,
read all about it.

Hey, get your
morning paper here.

Monster loose in Chestnut Hills.

President declares
national emergency.

WOMAN (ON TV): While troops,
army divisions, and reserve

units rolled into
Chestnut Hills,

this small town 50 miles
north of San Francisco,

has become the focus
of the entire world.

General Franklin D. Turnbull
head of army operations,

issued a statement saying
that the monster is--

Somewhere in this
three block area.

We've got it
completely evacuated,

roped off, patrol guarded,
and surrounded by tanks.

Now if the SOB's in there
there's no way in hell

he's going to get out.

[chatter]

General Turnbull,
will you be going

in after the monster or will
you wait for it to come out?

We think that there's a
pattern to its movements.

If we can figure out
precisely what they are

and where the thing
is, we're going

to go in and nail that sucker.

Excuse me, General,--

What are you going to do with
it when you find it, General?

Pick my teeth with it.

Any more bright questions?

Uh, yes.

General Turnbull, do you have
any idea what this thing really

is or where it came from?

GENERAL: Personally,
I don't give a damn.

This is Dr.
Pennyfeather's problem.

I, I believe that
it's a creature

from another world, another
time, possibly another planet.

But the implications
are staggering.

That's why I hope to
study it so that we can

answer all of your questions.

Dr. Pennyworth, do you have
any theory as to why the monster

is using closets to hide in?

None.

None whatsoever.

That's one of the
delightful mysteries

of this whole phenomenon.

MAN: General Turnbull,
does this mean

you're going to try to
capture the monster alive

rather than destroying it?

I was sent here
to save same lives,

not to conduct
scientific hodge podge.

The minute we spot this
bastard we're going

to send him to kingdom come.

Oh, but, General,
General, there,

there are no ground rules.

I mean, sometimes you
can save more lives

by not pulling the trigger.

Why, when I was a young
boy I, I once found a frog.

Now I could easily
have taken that--

Excuse me, gentlemen, but
we are wasting time here.

We have a lot to do.

We're wasting time talking.

If everyone will just do
exactly what they're told,

stay out of this restricted
area, and padlock your closets,

the United States Army
will take care of the rest.

Thank you and good day.

[chatter]

Scoop?

Hey, Dickie Boy.

What are you still doing here?

What do you mean?

Well, didn't the chief
get in touch with you?

-No.
-Oh, damn.

I guess he forgot to call.

Hey, Dick, you're in luck.

You got a promotion.

A promotion?

Yeah.

You know the political
assignment you wanted?

Well, you got it.

Yeah, the chief wants you
back at the office right away.

But I can't leave.

I'm right here in the
middle of probably

the biggest story I've ever--

Hey, Dick, it's all right.

I'll cover for you.

Look it, this
monster crap's going

to blow over in a day or two.

Chief's got bigger
things planned for you.

Yeah, but still.
I mean,--

Hey, you don't have
to thank me, pal.

I know you'd do the
very same thing for me.

Listen, Dick.

I gotta go.

I'll see you back in the office
in a couple of days, huh?

Hey, Dick?

Congratulations.

[music playing]

SCOOP: Come on.

Why not?

DIANE: A, we're just
about to have some tea.

B, Dr. Pennyworth doesn't
want to see anyone right now.

And C, we've already told
Mr. Clark everything we know.

Mr. Clark? [laughs]
Well, that's a hot one.

Hey, listen, that
idiot couldn't write

his way out of a toilet stall.

Yeah, anyway, he's not
even on this story anymore.

DIANE: What are
you talking about?

SCOOP: Listen, that
guy's no reporter.

You know how he got the job?

His uncle owns the newspaper.

That's how. [laughs] Yeah.

The only reason we sent him
up here in the first place

was to get him out
of everybody's hair.

The guy's a loser.

I mean, he's the laughingstock
of the whole paper.

Thank you very much for all
this valuable information,

Mr. Johnson.

But I think you'd better go now.

Yeah, look, I just need
a couple of minutes with

the old boy to get a couple--

DIANE: That old boy happens
have won two Nobel prizes.

And I really think
you'd better go now.

Thank you very
much, Mr. Johnson.

Look, I'm going to talk to
him one way or the other.

So you may as well let
me talk to him right now.

DIANE: Nice meeting
you, Mr. Johnson.

Bitch.

[car tires screech]

Mr. Clark?

Hi.

Hi.

I just stopped by to thank you
for dinner and to say goodbye.

Are those for me?

Oh.

Yeah.

I, I picked them up.

They look like they
can use some water.

And you look like you
could use some ice tea.

Come on in.

It's hot today, isn't it?

It sure is.

Why don't you relax
in the living room?

I'll be right there.

PHILLIP: It was immortality.

[sounds on recorder]

FATHER: I'm afraid you're
not getting the point.

It's still one of
god's creatures.

And I'm not arguing with you.

I'm merely trying to point-- ah.

Mr. Clark.

-Dr. Pennyworth.
-Richard.

PHILLIP: Sit down.

Sit down.

Martin, I don't want to kill it.

I simply want to
communicate with it.

FATHER: Well, they're
hardly giving it a chance.

DIANE: Hardly giving
it a chance, my god,

it's killed five people already.

I mean, don't you think that--

PHILLIP: Oh, that
poor creature's

more afraid than we are.

Well, any wild animal
will kill if attacked.

But if we could communicate
with it, reach out,

make it understand that
what we mean it no harm,

why, why we could
unravel mysteries

that have plagued mankind
for billions and billions--

Mr. Bennett?

Ms. Bennett?

[thud]

Here.

Are you all right, Diane?

Yes.

I, I was just--

[monster growling on recording]

Stop.

Professor.

Professor, stop that thing.

What's the matter?

That, that sound.

That sound, what was it?

Which one?

You mean the monster?

Play it, play it back again.

[monster growling on recording]

[mumbling] Play it again.

[monster growling on recording]

[humming and mumbling]

[humming]

Good lord.

Why didn't I think
of this before?

I believe we've
just found the key.

[music playing]

[playing keys]

[thud]

[door creaking]

[playing keys]

[thud]

[screaming]

I told you I'd talk to him
one way or another. [laughs]

All right, Mr. Johnson.

What would you like to know?

Well, first off,
Dr. Pennyworth, um,

what's the angle on, uh, trying
to communicate with this thing?

It's one of god's
creatures, my son.

A stranger in a strange land.

And it really hasn't
been given a fair chance.

We're talking about
the far advanced

being from another world,
possibly a superior in relation

to us as we are to the worms
and lizards from which we

evolved billions of years ago.

Now if only we can
communicate with it,

well, we should be able to--

[music playing]

[playing keys]

[rattling sounds]

[playing keys]

[music playing]

[screaming]

[cat meowing]

Diane, Diane, what was it?

Just a cat.

[thud]

[playing keys]

[door creaking]

[playing keys]

[screaming]

All right.

Everybody put their hands up.

You're all under arrest.

Who the hell do
you think you are?

That goddamn Junior G Men?

Shit.

Busting my ass trying to
save some lives around here.

And you people are out playing
hide and seek with Godzilla.

You know, General, there's
more than one way to save lives.

Why, when I was a young
boy I, I once found a frog.

Now I could've taken
that frog and--

Frogs?

What do I give a ding
dong about frogs?

For Christ's sake, get back in
the ball game, Penny Finger.

Do you have any idea what
in hell is going on here?

We are no longer in the
kiddie leagues, gentlemen.

There are reports
of widespread panic.

Boston, New York,
Chicago, St. Paul, Duluth.

General, I think we've got it.

-There's a pattern?
-Definitely.

I knew it.

The monster seems to move in
half semi-circles alternating

between 45 degrees
south and 37 degrees

northwest every 9 and
1/2 hours at a distance

of 3 3/4 kilometers.

What the hell does that mean?

According to our
calculations, excuse me,

sir, the monster should
show up here just about now.

That's that god
damn grammar school.

TOGETHER: The Professor.

[music playing]

[screaming]

Jesus!

DIANE: Oh my god!

Let me go!

Let me go!

Stay back!

[screaming]

[gun firing]

Shoot it!

Somebody help!

Get back, you idiot!

[inaudible].

Somebody help me!

DIANE: Oh my god!

PROFESSOR: Help me,
someone! [inaudible].

DIANE: [inaudible]
Not the closet!

It's taking him to the closet!

Tear his claw!

Tear it off!

[yelling]

Don't let him get me!

Help me, Mr. Clark!

DIANE: Rip his shirt off!

[inaudible].

Rip his shirt off!

Help me!

You fools, help him!

He's going for the shirt.

[monster growling]

Look out!

[monster growling]

Let's get the hell outta here.

[inaudible]

Seal off this perimeter.

Let's get the hell outta here.

Cordon off this place.

Bring out the tanks.

Call in the artillery.

[inaudible]

Bring up the tanks.

Somebody bring me
a walkie talkie.

[sirens blaring]

All right.

Now listen to me.

Don't do anything until
I give the orders.

What, what, what's happening?

God damn thing's coming out.

All right, men.

Get ready.
-No.

No.

Wait, General.

Wait.

Please, just, just
let me communicate

with it before you do anything.

[monster growling]

All right, men.

This is it.

Let's show this bastard
what we're made of.

No, General.
No.

Don't, don't you understand?

Don't you understand?

We must find out.

We must learn.

We, we owe it to the
future, to our children.

And our children's children--

Oh, get away from
me, you old goat.

All right, men.

Stand by.

At my command.

[interposing voices]

Penny Finger, you old fool!

Get back here!

[monster growling]

[playing keys]

God dammit.

Listen.

I'm your friend.

You, you must understand me.

I want to help you.

I'm a scientist.

[playing keys]

[monster growling]

[playing keys]

[music playing]

OK, boys.

Let's send this bastard
back where it came from.

[explosion]

[guns firing]

[monster growling]

Everybody out!

Everybody out!

Evacuate the area!

[sirens blaring]

[monster growling]

Diane?

I'm here, Dr. Pennyworth.

We, we did it.

Yes, we did it, Dr. Pennyworth.

We, we communicated.

Yes.

We really communicated.

You really did
it, Dr. Pennyworth.

Congratulations,
Dr. Pennyworth.

Oh, I knew.

I, I knew we could do it.

We communicated.

Dr. Pennyworth, could you
understand what it said?

No.

We must stop it.

We must.

We must.

It, it can't be stopped.

Only one way.

Only one thing can stop it.

What?

What can stop it,
Dr. Pennyworth?

We mus destroy.

Destroy what?

Destroy all.

We, we must destroy, we
must destroy all, all frogs.

Frogs.

Why, I see frogs everywhere.

Millions and millions of frogs.

It's so beautiful.

Frogs everywhere.

[music playing]

WOMAN: Extra, extra.

Read about the monster.

24 hours to evacuate.

Extra, extra.

REPORTER: Army and
National Guard units

have joined together here today
to facilitate the evacuation

of Chestnut Hills.

Authorities at the scene
have expressed amazement

at the relative
calm of the citizens

here in what could easily
have been a panic situation.

Area residents are hastily
boarding the caravan of buses,

which will ultimately
take them to the emergency

shelters that have been
set up in San Francisco.

The immediate future of those
involved in this mass exodus

is uncertain as
people grab whatever

possessions they can carry.

In less than 24 hours
the only thing remaining

in this empty ghost town will
be the strange, seemingly

indestructible creature
that lurks in a closet.

After that if any-- here's
General Franklin Turnbull,

head of Army operations,
who may be able to give

us some further information.

General Turnbull, once the
town has been safely evacuated,

what do you plan to do next?

You tell me.

I don't know how to
stop the son of a bitch.

Put a god damn protective
shield or something around.

What?

What?

I don't give a holy who
how if we're on television.

By next week there
may be no television.

Shit.

Our guns, our tanks, our
bombs, our nuclear missiles,

they're all like toys
against this thing.

Let me tell you something.

If it makes a move
against our major cities,

it's going to be all--

WOMAN (ON TV): As the president
called an emergency session

of Congress.

So far there has
been no explanation

as to what this thing is--

MAN (ON TV): Where it came
from or how it got here.

What we do know is that
no weapon known to mankind

has been able to stop it.

The United Nations has
formed a special commission

to discuss the threat this
creature poses to world safety,

but as of right now nobody
seems to have any idea how

to stop this thing.

Folks, I, I think it's
time to say a prayer,

a prayer for the whole world.

FATHER: And bless the soul,
oh, heavenly father, of he who

died that others might live.

He who valued life
over death, yet

also valued death over life.

Life over death because
he was a man who sincerely

believed in his
heart that it was

better to be alive than dead.

And death over life because
he knew in his inner most

soul that it was
better to die for life

than to live for death.

Hey, what are you
guys doing here?

Don't you know the
whole town's evacuating?

I hate to bother you at a
time like this, Ms. Bennett,

but, uh, I got a couple of
questions I'd like to ask you.

Not now, Mr. Johnson.

Please.

Uncle Martin?

I don't think god
would mind if we finish

the services in San Francisco.

Amen.

Uh, Ms. Bennett, um, just
before Dr. Pennyworth died he,

he said something about a
way to stop the monster.

Do you have any idea what
he was talking about?

Scoop, this, this
really isn't--

Hey, don't worry
about it, Dick.

It's OK.

Um, yeah.

He said, we must destroy all.

All something, but
he never finished.

Do you have any
idea what he meant?

Destroy all what?

I wish I knew.

Well, you must.

I mean, you're
the only one who--

She said she doesn't know.

Hey, [laughs] hey, don't
get touchy, Dickie Boy.

Lookit, I wasn't suggesting
that she did know,

or that maybe she was saving
that information for somebody

else, so that
somebody else could

get himself an exclusive story.

[laughs]

Hey, listen, hon, I just need--

And don't call her hon.

Hey, listen, Clark.

If you and this bitch
think you're gonna--

[punching sound]

PROFESSOR: Is he all
right, Uncle Martin?

FATHER: I'm sure
he will be, my son.

God moves in mysterious ways.

I'd like to think that
in his infinite wisdom

god dimmed Mr. Johnson's
lights so that in the darkness

the lord could
get his attention.

And he'll come back a better,
and a wiser human being.

Amen.

PROFESSOR: Boy, Mr. Clark
knocked him out with one punch.

FATHER: It was not
Mr. Clark, my son.

It was the punch of god.

PROFESSOR: Gee, Mr. Clark.

You knocked him
out with one punch.

I did?

Boy, you were right.

Crunch bars really do
give you lots of energy.

Energy.

That's what Dr. Pennyworth
was talking about.

The only way to
stop the monster.

We must destroy all its energy.

MAN: Area residents are
advised to undertake

the following
evacuation procedures.

Do not load yourself down
with unnecessary items.

I wanna stay with you, Mother.

MAN: And other
essential supplies

will be provided for you
at the emergency relocation

facilitates and
shelters, which have

been set up in San Fransisco.

Secure your homes--

General Turnbull?

There's a bus.

See what arrangements
you can make

while I talk to the general.

I don't wanna go on the bus.

DIANE: General,
[inaudible] talk to you.

I think I know how
to stop the monster.

Uh huh.

Electricity.

Oh, yeah.

Plug it into a socket, turns
itself into a Christmas tree.

No.

We did some tests.

Dr. Pennyworth and I, on
one of the monster's claws.

Dr. Pennyworth?

And found that
the cell structure

consisted of electrons.

--[inaudible] playing
with a broken helmet.

--[inaudible]
millions and millions

of times faster than normal.

I don't give a monkey's
fart how fast [inaudible].

General, just listen.

No, you listen.

There's no way in hell
we're can stop this thing.

Just listen.

The electrons move so
fast they create a heat--

Tried everything already.

[inaudible].

Nuclear bombs.

There are two seats left.

And they're ready to go.

OK.

I don't wanna go on the bus.

That's not negotiable.

I'll meet you in San
Fransisco tomorrow.

See you at the church.

Let me stay with you.

OK.
I love you.

Be good.

Bye.

Just in case you
need some energy.

We've gotta hurry.

See you in San Fransisco, son.

Will you listen to me?

I'm telling you, we can
destroy it with electricity.

And I'm telling you I don't
care how long an extension cord

you got, there ain't no way.

But I'm trying to
tell, we can destroy

its energy if we can just
pump enough voltage into it--

The United States Army
can't stop this thing.

How the hell are you gonna?

[inaudible], get the
hell outta there.

Jesus Christ, lady.

Face the music.

It's the god damn
end of the world.

Know what that means?

It means every man for himself.

I don't know about you, but I'm
gonna get the hell outta here.

[engine roaring]

I'm staying.

I know.

MAN: And other
essential supplies

will be provided for you
at the emergency relocation

facilities [inaudible].

Better get going.

I'm staying, too.

You don't understand.

Yes, I do.

You're gonna try to
kill the monster.

It's gonna be dangerous.

And I'm gonna help you.

Richard, really, I appreciate--

You're not gonna
talk me out of it.

Why are you doing this?

Look at it this way.

A, if it doesn't work,
what's the difference?

It's the end of
the world anyway.

B, if we do succeed, well,
hen I end up with the greatest

scoop of all time.

And C?

Tell you about that
some other time.

Come on.

We'd better hide.

[music playing]

[explosion]

[playing keys]

[thunder rolling]

[playing keys]

[thunder rolling]

[monster growling]

It's coming.

[playing keys]

Look, I, um, I don't
know what's gonna happen

or how much time we've got.

But I never got a
chance to say thank you.

Thanks for saving the professor
and, oh, for everything.

[playing keys]

Will you do me a favor?

Sure.

Tell me what C was.

C was that I wanted
to be with you.

You know, the first
time I knew I liked you?

It wasn't when you stood
up for me against Scoop.

Huh?

It was before that.

It was even before you
saved the professor.

It was the day, the day
you came to say goodbye.

[laughs]

I still picture you standing
there with those flowers

in your hand.

You looked so--

[screaming]

We've gotta move the trap!

[monster growling]

[inaudible]

Kick harder.

[monster growling]

Get the box.

[monster growling]

[inaudible]

He's moving too far to the left!

Move!

[shattering]

[monster growling]

Now.

[monster growling]

[explosion]

[monster growling]

The attic.

Professor!

God, what are you doing here?

It's coming.

I'm almost finished.

Just one more screw.

What are you talking about?

The energy augmenter.

I could stop it with
the energy augmenter .

It's a toy.
It won't do--

[monster growling]

Oh my god.

Mother, trust me.

I know it will work.
-This is crazy.

You can't possibly--

Let him try.

It's our only chance.

[monster growling]

The horn!

We need the horn!

Get back here!

[inaudible].

We gotta make the head come out.

We gotta make it [inaudible].

[monster growling]

It'll kill itself in
its own [inaudible].

It won't work!

[monster growling]

PROFESSOR: Please!

[electronic sounds]

[blowing horn]

[monster growling]

Again!

[blowing horn]

[monster growling]

[explosion]

DIANE: Oh god.

Uh oh.

[monster growling]

[music playing]

Mother.

They're gone.

Richard.

It's no use.

It's all over.

Nothing can stop it.

It's the end, Professor.

Mother, what if Dr.
Pennyworth didn't mean that we

should destroy all its energy?

What if he was trying to
tell us that the only way

to stop the monster was
to destroy all closets?

[music playing]

REPORTER: Panic
and mass hysteria

spread throughout
the world today

as the unstoppable
closet creature continues

its relentless march southward.

Virtually all of
northern California

from Crescent City to San
Fransisco has been evacuated.

And at the same time,
emergency procedures

are underway throughout
the western half

of the United States.

Religious leaders and scientists
alike are predicting the worst.

The possible end of
civilization as we know it.

Countless millions everywhere
are fleeing from the death

and destruction that lie ahead.

But where do we run?

Where do we hide?

I'm afraid we may be witness to
a biblical prophesy come true.

And the beasts shall
inherit the earth.

We now switch you to
an emergency broadcast

from Professor Diane Bennett
out of the University

of Chestnut Hills.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I come to you

with the last hope, the
last hope for humanity,

the last hope for mankind.

We've tried every reasonable
and rational approach,

but neither man nor machine has
been able to stop this thing.

I ask you to bear
with me for a moment

and throw reason and
rationale out the door.

We have no idea what
this creature is

or where it came from,
or how it got here.

All we do know is that it
moves from closet to closet.

And that these closets
serve some sort of purpose

for this beast, possibly as
places for shelter or security,

for rejuvenating itself.

Who knows?

All we know is that our only
hope of destroying this monster

is to destroy its places of
refuge, to destroy all closets.

Go out and destroy every closet
you can find, every closet

in the world, whether you
have to chop them down,

burn them down, or blow
them up, it's our last hope.

I repeat, we must
act immediately.

Destroy all closets.

[banging]

[monster growling]

MAN (ON RADIO): Carrying
Richard Clark, the unfortunate

newspaper reporter.

They've been in there
over 10 minutes now

and there is still no
apparent explanation as to why

the monster, in its
weakened condition,

would go to the
Transamerica building.

[monster growling]

Widespread
speculation that there

may be an undestroyed
closet still remaining

in the Transamerica building.

If this is true, it
would almost certainly

represent the monster's last
chance to rejuvenate itself.

It's only hope for survival.

[monster growling]

The eyes and ears
of the world are

fixed upon one single
building in San Francisco

as mankind anxiously
awaits word that

will determine its final
fate, word as to whether we

are to live or die.

[monster growling]

Staggering out of the
Transamerica building,

Clark seems to be OK.

But the monster is
really in bad shape.

Oh my god.

It almost fell.

Ladies and gentlemen, I
believe the creature is dying.

Richard.

[monster growling]

Richard!

I was so worried.

We were all praying that--

PROFESSOR: Mr. Clark!

Mr. Clark, we did it.

The world is saved.

What was it like, Mr. Clark?

What did you and the
monster do all that time?

It could have saved itself.

There was a closet.

It couldn't fit both of us in.

It could've saved itself.

What an angle.

Destroyed by its own closet.

Oh no.

It wasn't the closet.

It was beauty killed the beast.

Boys, that's enough already.

OK.

We'll read all about it in
Mr. Clark's exclusive articles

starting Monday in the Globe.

Mr. Bernstein.

Call me Chief.

[chatter]

NARRATOR: As the end came
swiftly and the world was safe,

it was improbable,
unexplainable,

a complete mystery.

But this isn't the time for
worry about explanations.

It's a time for joy
and celebration,

a time to hold your loved
ones and give thanks.

Go home, my friends.

Go back and re-build
your closets.

[music playing]

Hi.

[playing keys]

OK, boys.

[gun firing]

[smashing]

Dag blast.

Hi, hon.

[screaming]

[monster growling]

[music playing]