Monsieur Hawarden (1968) - full transcript

Based on the novel by Filip de Pillecijn and documents
presumed authentic, among which a 19th century diary.

To Josef Von Sternberg

The border!

Did you see it?

It nearly made him blush with excitement when he
saw the names of all those countries in our passport.

He quietly repeated them,
one after the other:

Morocco, Prussia, Turkey...

Bessarabia, Poland...

Russia...

Portugal...

Portugal...



The coachman says this
is a small border post.

They rarely see anyone.

A farmer, a street vendor, that's all.

You can see it.

The country's small, poor and silent.

The sun shines and I'm cold...

Is there a city around here?

There probably won't be
a city around here...

It looks like a country
without a single city.

And if there are people living here,
what do they do the whole day?

What do they do in the evenings,
what do they do in winter?

What will I...

What will I do on that farm
where we're going to live?

There's nothing there...



There's nothing there!

Safe...

Yes, that's the only thing.

That we'll be safe...

That you'll be safe...

I'm tired, Victorine.

Mother, Monsieur Hawarden is coming!

Go and warn your father.

Father, Monsieur Hawarden
is coming.

Come on, open the gate!
He... he's coming!

Walter, unload!

A heartfelt welcome,
Monsieur Hawarden!

A heartfelt welcome!

Yes, you can speak Dutch if you
want. We know the language.

My whole family does,
even Victorine.

Hans! Get on with it!

May I introduce you to my wife?

- A city maid.
- His domestic servant.

Something about her seems false.

She's pretty.

Your room is over there...

at the top of the stairs.

Do come in, you must be tired.

Ah yes, what I wanted to ask you.

How fares your sister, Meriora?

I haven't seen her in ages.

I see...

You must be hungry.

I'll take the lead.

Did you see him, Axel?

What a splendid gentleman!

So rich, so slender.

Did you see how your mother was looking
at him? Her mouth almost dropped open.

Hey, you're not jealous are you?

Maybe one day, you'll become
such a beautiful man as well.

Any letters?

Four letters again for you...

- A parcel?
- Yeah, that's a parcel.

Here you go.

You'll be keeping me busy!

Yeah...

Is dinner ready?

London

Paris
Amsterdam

- That's none of your business!
- And a parcel from Vienna.

- You're nosy.
- And you're not?

At night, you stand with your ear pressed
against the wall, waiting to hear something.

- ME?!
- YOU!

You're sleeping in the room
next to him, aren't you?

- And what DO you hear, at night?
- Nothing.

He's a secret.

What do you hear at night, Emma?

You should shut your mouths.
Leave that man alone.

- That man is ill... and tired.
- If he's ill, he should call for a doctor.

Why does he lock himself
away, like a prisoner?

He's been here for ten days
and what did we see of him?

Only his passing shadow
behind the window...

and that maid!

Who says she's his serving girl?

I've spoken to a man at Staverno
and do you know what he said?

He's an English lord...

who has stolen the wife of his best
friend and now they're both in hiding here.

That lord...

and his girlfriend.

What do you hear at night, Emma?!

You're a bastard!

I've seen the dirty lust in your
eyes when you look at her.

What do you hear at night, Emma...

Do you hear them whispering?

The whole day they have to
pretend she's a serving girl.

But at night...

At night she sneaks into his room,
dressed in a night gown...

and those perfumes...

Do you hear them panting, Emma?

Him and that maid?

Come on! I want to know
if Emma can hear them...

You're coming to pick up the letters...
At your service, here they are.

- And Monsieur Hawarden's meal.
- Meal?

Monsieur Hawarden's meal!

Emma, Miss doesn't have
to wait does she?

They're chatting too much in the kitchen,
that's why the work doesn't get done.

Please take a chair.

Can't you fucking watch
what you're doing, pig!

You're beautiful...

Have you hurt yourself?

What's going on here?

He was bending over backwards
for that maid.

- But she doesn't notice him.
- No! Because he smells!

Wine from Alsace.
I hope it pleases your master.

Monsieur has complimented
the wine numerous times.

Doesn't your master need
anything else?

Monsieur doesn't need anything.
Tranquility...

He wants to be left alone.

Yes, I know. But shutting himself
in his room like that...

They did write us that he was
coming here to... to be alone.

The rest is none of our business.

Didn't you see how pale he looked
when he first arrived here?

His hands, so thin...

Weren't you the one telling me she
had to give him extra meat?

Nonetheless, it's strange...

someone living in your
house who isn't there...

Mother!

Dear mother!

No. Monsieur isn't drinking
the wine today.

There weren't any letters today.

That makes one lonely.

You shall miss them.

This morning, there was a
man in the courtyard.

I think he was a merchant.

He carried wares on his back.

But they sent him away.

I saw him leaving through the gate.

He was wearing a fur cap...

even though it was warm outside.

He resembled those fishermen
in the port of Petersburg.

Do you remember?

It was spring then as well.

The icy river thawed.

We were always close to
rivers in the springtime.

The Schelde, the Seine, the Danube...

Yesterday

when I had collected the money,

I came back in the bailiff's carriage

and the whole ride back
I was thinking

we can take it to Spain or Paris

or even to Cologne for a spell.

But when I gave the money
to you, I realised

it would just get buried.

It would just get buried...

A small river flows nearby.

You can see for yourself!

The weather's perfect
for being outdoors.

That will suffice, Axel, please stop!

It's a marvellous horse.

Are you fond of horses?

- I'm fond of this one.
- Yes, rightly so.

I used to be very fond
of a horse as well.

I was just about your age then.

It died...
and that was sad.

In the cupboard in my room is a picture
book of horses. Can you go and fetch it?

For Axel.

You should look at
those pictures carefully.

There are a lot of horses
you could be fond of.

Come one, Victorine!

Do you see that tree?

It looks like my grandfather.

Your river...

So look happy.

Springtime, a river...

You have all you desire.

The men are rough and crude here.

But they admire you...

That has to flatter a lady.

They're planning something tonight.

Monsieur Hawarden is dining
with the family!

- With his girlfriend?
- Yep!

And I'll be bringing them the wine.

They'll be drunk tonight...

Welcome!
Welcome!

- We're glad you could join us.
- Thank you.

Well... what shall we drink?

Whatever you're having.

I've read the book.

Read?

I mostly looked, some
of the words were strange.

They're not that strange.

It's simple really.

Horse... Pferd

French: Cheval

English: Horse

Latin: Equus

Cheers bailiff!

- Greek: Hippos
- Russian: Loshad, Italian: Cavallo

Do you speak all those languages?

No, not all of them.

Not even nearly all of them.

What are they talking about?

- I serve the meal, I don't listen.
- You're not deaf, are you?

She doesn't want to listen, because
it isn't any of her business.

You're as nosy as an old spinster.

I'm nosy?!

I'm protecting you all!

Do you know who he is?

Does the bailiff know?!
No...

The bailiff is vain. He only wants
the aristocrats to sample his wine.

And the aristocrats raise
their glasses

and say...

My compliments, bailiff.

But in the meantime...

Do you remember what happened
to that family in Schoonhoven?

- The count strangled the countess with the bedcord.
- She was cut into 70 pieces.

And the children's bodies were lying
picked clean in the pig stye.

It's your turn.

Mind your headaches.

Headaches?
Caused by my wine?

What do you think of my wine,
Monsieur Hawarden?

My compliments, bailiff.

I challenge you...

Search fifty, even a hundred kilometers
around this farm for a good wine.

I...
It's true, I'm proud of my wines...

and of my wife.

A man has to be proud of something,
isn't that right, Monsieur?

Right. Fifty, a hundred kilometers
around this farm.

You track down an excellent wine...

and I will take you down to my cellar
and pour you an even better one.

I believe you, bailiff.

Because if chance permits...

I'll rack him off myself.
Ou... Out off the wine vat.

I myself travel to Rue De Saint
Labarque... and Burgundy.

I store them in the vat.
I... I raise them in the vat.

Because... euh...

Wine...

Wine, wine is like a child.

It gets born...

and it has its own character.

Sometimes whimsical,
sometimes balanced...

Defiant or obedient.

I... euh...
Yes, you have to raise it.

Wi... with patience,

and love.

And... and sometimes
with harshness.

Wine...
Wine.

Wine is a human being.

Here's to you, Monsieur Hawarden!

Here's to the magnificent dinner
your wife prepared for us, bailiff.

- Don't mind it.
- It's not a problem.

There.
It's not that bad.

When I was little... little...

like you Axel...

Young...

Once a year, in October, we drove into the
countryside, to visit the poor and the sick.

And we brought them wine
and bread.

And when the dew started to settle,
there was music and we danced.

Boys... girls...

And later on... I was bit older,
sixteen... seventeen...

and I was very much in love...

My father was ill.

He was going to die.

What did I want to say again,
Victorine?

I don't know.

What did I want to tell, Axel?

Later, when you were sixteen,
seventeen...

I don't remember.

The wine, Monsieur Hawarden.

That's the wine.

The forgetfulness.

There never was anything.

You live alone now.

You became younger and younger...

You're blushing.

You have forgotten it...

Here you are.

Are you familiar with Paris,
Monsieur Hawarden?

- But of course you are.
- Please be quiet Herman.

I... I've read somewhere...

that on the Parisian boulevards...

at the present time, pillars have
been built, two meters in height.

With a sphere on them
that ends in an apex.

Like the pillars of a Turkish church.

- Is that true?
- Herman, please...

- Do you know them?
- I don't know.

I have read... that there are these
little, narrow houses.

For... for men!

Have you seen them?

I remember.

I remember!

My father was ill...

We all knew he
wouldn't live much longer...

My mother and I returned
from the countryside...

Alone.

And a big ball was
to be held at our home...

I told you this Victorine, what was
it again? A concert. But where?

Where?

A young man.
A boy...

- But where?!
- Lisbon.

It was an evening.

An evening like this one,
everything looked alike.

And there was an officer... and
there was that woman from Toulouse!

That marchioness that traveled around
the world with all her belongings.

Her spinet, the chairs, all the books.

- But where?!
- Lisbon.

Portugal!

It was an evening.
An evening just like this one.

Everything looked alike.

I know it for a fact, because I remember that
marchioness asking us where we came from and I answered...

From Vienna, Madam!

And then came the officer who said:

An "honest" life means
an early death.

I'm speaking German.
My apologies.

That boy...

That child Axel...

Maybe it wasn't Portugal?

In my memory everything
looks like Vienna.

The spinet, the carriages, the officers, the
music, the parks, the benches, the horses...

Were there horses in Lisbon?

It wasn't Lisbon!

That marchioness.

That marchioness used to be...

My fa...

My father was still alive.

Maybe he was ill,
that I don't know.

I don't know.

Thank you!

It was a wonderful evening,
bailiff. Thank you.

Sleep tight.

I can find my own way, Victorine.

Yes?

You came after all?

- I was worried.
- Worried? Why?

Because of the wine?
The brandy?

Take a look at yourself.

You're blushing.

You're looking very beautiful.

Wasn't it entertaining as well?

I saw you watching every glass,
like a very stern mother.

A stern mother, Victorine...

But you drank everything too.

I was watching you as well.

You let him pour, you didn't
refuse a single glass.

Stern mother Victorine is
addicted to the bailiff's wine.

As long as we're together,
we're safe.

We need each other, Victorine.

Yes...

As long as we're together...

As long as we look after each
other when we drink wine...

nothing will happen to us.

Not for our entire lives.

Our entire lives?

Our entire lives.

Life?

Here?

Travelling was life.

Like the way we went from one place
to the other for all those years.

Every city was a new world, every hotel a new
experience, every room weentered was new and unknown.

Did you see the room I have here?

It's cold and wet.

And at night I hear the rats
crawling in the barn...

and a snoring farm hand who
tosses and turns in his sleep.

And when the wind blows, the roof
chalk falls down on my blankets.

- I can't do this, I can't do this.
- Victorine...

And you can't do it, never!

When we were travelling, no-one
asked us anything.

But here we're trapped
and locked away.

Every step you take, they see
it, they hear it, they glare...

And when you're drunk
and say 'Vienna'...

We have to go to sleep, tomorrow
everything will be different.

Tomorrow everything will be the same
as today and yesterday and last week...

What about me?!

You receive letters and books
but I get nothing.

And I hear them...
Those women.

I know what they're talking about.

I try not to hear them, I try not
to see them, but they're there.

They want me to tell everything...

about Monsieur Hawarden.

- I need you Victorine.
- I'm here.

- But in a place like this?
- I need you even more...

Even more...

Do you want me to help?

No, you can go.

Look, that's were we live and
over there's the turf moor.

It's dangerous there.

You can see for yourself,
it's a swamp.

There aren't a lot of kids here.

There's one boy,
who lives near Stavelo...

but he fell ill. He's been in
the hospital for a year now.

I've been there once...

but he didn't really want to talk.

How old are you, Axel?

Thirteen.

And you?
How old are you?

How old do you think I am?

Well, maybe... euh... thirty?

Oh Axel...

Have you been everywhere?

Oh no, not by a long shot.

To how many countries?

Watch. This is Europe, what can
you point out? The coast line.

France, Spain, Italy.

Right.
And over here is Vienna...

Constantinople, Riga...

London, Amsterdam...

Lisbon...

Was it true, the story about
that marchioness?

It was true.

Amsterdam.
Milan.

Moscow.
Thessaloniki.

Why?

- Why what?
- Why have you been to all these places?

Sometimes one place isn't enough.

Look! In a single pull! And my
heart isn't beating any faster.

Feel it!

You youngster...

She isn't yours, pal.

She's Monsieur Hawarden's.

And Monsieur Hawarden is wealthy. Every
week he withdraws money from the bank.

You don't see him carrying bags.

And if she isn't Monsieur
Hawarden's, then she's mine!

Come along Axel.

Look around for a moment.

A minaret.

And when you're in Turkey, you
hear the priest sing every afternoon.

He's standing on the archway then.

Do you like it?

It's okay...

Aren't they lovely?

I keep the time of nearly all of
the countries I've visited.

You can see it.

There are happy and
cheerful countries.

And sad ones.

In the north, they think of
death when they measure time.

And in the south, of the sun.

Take a look.

Pretty, aren't they?

Beautiful.

Yes, they're very pretty...

What's inside this?

What's inside this chest?

That chest's filled with clothes.

Now you have to go.

Wait, I have something for you.

Thank you.

Watch out for the sheets!

They can't see us here.

Come on!

Why are you running away?!

He can't see you,
no-one can see us here!

Or do you want that other guy?
That Hans?

Watch out, let go!
Let go, someone's coming.

Who was that?

It's a guy with a lantern, he
comes here every year.

Lantern?

Yeah, something for old
spinsters and children.

Images on a sheet.

But when the child was born...

the king died of rage.

For he had wanted a son,
not a daughter.

Nonetheless, the girl grew up
to be a beautiful princess.

But she became the terror
of the entire court.

Because everyone...!

who dared call her a woman...

she punished horribly.

The Lord Chamberlain said
"My Lady"

And she hanged him.

And the First Lady-in-waiting said

"Sweet princess"

And she made them cut
out her tongue.

She "made" them cut out her tongue.

Thus, the princess made
them cut out her tongue.

And the army's general...

asked her for a dance
at the state ball.

And she burned out his eyes.

And when she was eighteen...

two princes came...

who both asked for her
hand in marriage.

To one of them she said:

"You'll have my eternal gratitude...

if you kill the other prince,

because he has insulted me,
by calling me a woman. "

And that prince killed his rival...

But when he returned
to the princess...

she grabbed a dagger and
stabbed him in the heart.

And the people saw her standing,
with bloody hands,

on the balcony of her palace.

And a wave of fear swept
the entire land.

But the queen was just as
afraid as her people...

so she banished her daughter
from the realm.

And she said:

"You're dead...

you just haven't died yet. "

And that princess still
wanders the world.

She has long ago forgotten,
if she was a man or a woman.

And she doesn't even know
if she's really alive anymore.

Monsieur Hawarden is gone!

He must have gone to his room.

- It just got so warm in here...
- And stuffy.

But, there's no light
burning in his room.

Then he probably went for a stroll.

Those fairy tales can make
you drowsy.

The gate has been opened!

Then he probably went for a stroll.

But he doesn't know the way.

He's not in his room.

It was so stuffy in here, he
probably went for a walk.

No!
At night?

I'm worried.

I don't see him anywhere.

We have to search for him.

Torches! Get torches!

I'm glad you're here.

This is the way I always imagined it to
be. The city, a big mansion, carriages...

guests, music...

A little girl's dreams.

My mother used to wear fabulous
dresses to the music nights at home.

They didn't happen often, maybe
two... three times a year.

Then suddenly Father was gone...

just like that.

And it was all over.

The music, the dresses...

When I saw my husband
for the first time...

He was sweet, strong, safe.

For Axel's benefit,
I'm glad you're here.

You can teach him, show him
something, that I can't anymore.

That I can't anymore...

Dear mother,

For all those years I haven't
written, not to you.

I did write to friends in The Hague and
in Paris, but only to inquire about you.

I'm alone now, save for Victorine.

She has stayed with me, but I don't
know for how much longer.

I don't know how long things
can still go on like this.

I live in Pont, in the house
of bailiff Deschamps...

and I'm called
Monsieur Hawarden here.

You didn't understand mother, but
neither did I and that's even worse.

Please write to me, send me the one
word I long for before it's too late...

Your daughter, Meriora.

Come on!

This way!

Yes, that way.

The piano! Please help move
the piano!

- Yes, yes.
- It's already coming!

I'm coming!

Yes, the piano!

Be careful, be careful, be careful!

Steady!

Steady. Steady.

Oh, do be careful!

Come on, don't do that, oh!

Go inside!

- Lift it?
- Yes.

Hi!

What's wrong?

Beneath the window over there!
C'mon, hurry up!

Hans, lift it.

I'll strike you down if you
so much as glance at her!

- Who do you mean? Corien, Victorine?
- You keep your paws off her!

You keep your paws off her.

- I'm counting the days...
- No fighting here, gentlemen!

To the kitchen! Come on!

- Isn't Monsieur Hawarden here yet?
- He'll be coming shortly.

That Hawarden, is he coming?

I'm curious to see if
that man's still coming!

There comes Corien!

Pull the hair out of her head!

Get on with it!

- I'll scratch your eyes out, bitch!
- You have to have them all, don't you?

Music!
Music!

Please don't mind it, Sir.

In fact... it's...
really not that bad.

A little bit of excitement!

It happens every time.

- Every year there's a quarrel.
- I want to leave.

- I'll pack my bags, I can't stay a day longer.
- Because of the smallest things.

- They want to murder me, do you think I want to die on a stinking farm?
- We had a late summer, work was rough.

- I understand bailiff. - And every year
at the ball... - I understand perfectly.

This conversation is over!
Please Victorine!

- Shall I pour you a glass?
- Please do.

It's an old beaujolais.

To love, Monsieur, to love.

Sickening.

Sickening.

Everything is sickening here.

The air.

- And your eyes.
- Oh quit it.

And the stench in the kitchen.

Go away, deathfinder.

How ill is he?

- And who's going to bury him?
- His relatives.

Which relatives?

The ones from London?

Or the ones from Holland?

For weeks his maid has been asking
about letters from Vienna.

That's most definitely
where the undertaker lives!

Good morning!

Any letters from Vienna 'today'?

No, there aren't any letters coming
from Vienna anymore.

Who was that?

- Where is he now?
- Gone.

Why?
Why...?

Does he need to see you lying there?

Because I sent him away.

Because I don't want them
spying on us.

Fantasy
by Hendrik Conscience

Writer
of the wonder year.

God's revenge.

It was a virtuous maiden,
aged seventeen.

Her slender form...

was spread so carelessly and pleasing
over the exquisite lounge chair...

that she almost appeared to be
a greek painter's fantasy.

A headbond...

"Headband" of golden leaf lay
sparkling on her marble forehead.

And blond hair was hanging like locks
of silky thread down her shoulders.

We should have left for Vienna
before the winter.

I will get better Victorine.

You should have gone
to a doctor long ago.

I'm going to get better,
I promise you.

- Was there a letter?
- Nothing...

I've done nothing today.

- Every day, that's your reply.
- Yes, every day.

Tell me what you saw yesterday
and the day before that.

Tell me what you see
outside the window.

Stone...
Glass, bars...

White... white... walls

There's more light today.

I'd like to look outside.

It's raining.

It will be springtime soon.

Nothing from Vienna.

Nothing's coming from Vienna.

I'm not asking anymore.

I don't want to die because
of a dream, a mirage...

Nothing's coming from Vienna.

You're dead to your mother.

I promised you I would
get better, didn't I?

You can't promise me you'll
never get sick again.

Would you do something for me?

What?

Ask Axel to come up here.

- Now?
- Yes...

He's outside, I can hear his voice.

I'll go and get him.

Hello, Monsieur Hawarden.

Oh, how you have grown...

I've missed you.

I've missed you a lot.

Sometimes I heard you shouting,
and I heard you playing the piano.

It sounded far away.

Have you missed me as well?

Missed?!

You talk like two lovers.

Oh, he definitely missed you.

They've all missed you.
All these weeks.

Because they couldn't leer, because I protected
you! For 12 years! Against spies and leering eyes.

- I and only I protected you!
- Victorine, please...

Yes. Victorine.

Victorine heard it, saw it, felt it.

They intoxicated you. You told stories
about your sick father in Vienna.

But they only wanted to find out he wasn't
sick at all, but that he hung himself!

And then the magic
lantern's beautiful fable.

You thought that you were safe
here, but they know! He knows!

What were you thinking when
you heard their "beautiful" fable?

- What were you thinking?!
- Go away.

- Do you want me to say what you were thinking?
- Go away.

- Do you want me to say what you were thinking?!
- GO AWAY!

- Victorine, what are you doing?!
- I'm leaving.

- You can't leave!
- I have to leave, I can't stay here!

And me, what about me?!

I don't know...

You're staying! We'll leave
for The Hague tomorrow!

We can stay there for a while,
they'll understand.

I can give you money,
as much money as you want!

You don't understand.

You don't understand?

I love you.

I'm the only one in
the world who loves you.

I know that. You know that I know,
that I'm grateful to you.

That's why I can't be without you.

I can't do it anymore, it's pointless.
Let me go, in gods name, let me go.

You're the only one Victorine,
the only one.

In all those years, you were the only
one who knew who or what I was.

Maybe you were also
starting to forget.

Everything seemed so beautiful
when we were travelling together.

The world consisted of hotels...

Every day a new key, a new doorman,
a new face at the reception desk...

Carriage rides in between...
And us together.

But at night Victorine...

When I was alone in my room.

When I stood in front of a new,
strange mirror, I thought...

Who is that?

Who am I?

Then it doesn't suffice that
you remember the facts.

Facts wither...

As I stood in front of the mirror
and undressed, I saw a woman.

And every night I was older
Victorine, that's all that I saw.

While you...

I don't know what you were doing or where you were,
while I lay awake not knowing who I was, what I was.

That's when you're lonely.

You want to leave this place,
Victorine, but you can't go.

I'll die if you leave!

We have to stay here Victorine,
we can't go anywhere else.

This is the only place
I can still breathe.

Even if the walls are
as white as a prison.

Here, it doesn't matter who I am.

Because there are 10, 20, maybe a hundred
people who believe I am Monsieur Hawarden.

And all those people are letting me live, because they believe
me. You realise that, don't you Victorine? You must realise that?!

Then you don't need me anyway.

You're the only one who
loves Meriora Gillibrand!

But not enough anymore.

I know who I am.

I don't need those hundred people
believing me to be able to breathe.

I want to live!

- I live!
- You live with me!

- No...
- You live only because of me.

You're dead.

Dead like everything
between these walls.

All those people who
believe you, are dead.

I'm leaving.

I'm going!

- My bags are upstairs!
- You can get all my money!

You can't just leave like that!
Please!

- You're not going with her!
- Out of my way!

- You're not going with her!
- Dammit, get your hands off of me!

Nooooo!

He's leaving for good.

I hope so.

He asked the bailiff to send
along his possessions.

The stones, the clocks...

The statuettes, the shoes...

They've brought nothing but blood.

Blood and misery.

The skins and the plants
and the books...

And the pictures...

- Where is he going?
- To Spa, they told me...

he's going to Spa.

After that, I don't know.

He'll never return...

We'll never see him again.

'Room number twelve'

Ladies and gentlemen,
place your bets.

Black.
Black!

- Place your bets.
- Black.

No more bets.

Twenty-Four, black, even and "passe"

Your odds were fifty percent.

Yours a hundred.

What's the proof?

Proof? I shall give it you.
May I?

Ladies and gentlemen,
place your bets.

And on what will you bet?
Red? Black?

I'm too old to bet on color.

You'll bet...

Black!

- No, red. Red.
- Black.

Why don't you help that
man over there?

His bad luck is stronger
than my intuition.

Intuition in the numerical domain?

Place your bets.

- Twenty-seven.
- Twenty-eight.

No more bets.

Fifteen, uneven, black and "manque".

Ladies and gentlemen,
place your bets.

I recall a play...

in which a man tried
to convince a woman...

that he had met and seduced her,
the year before at Marienbad.

There, everything looked alike,
just like here.

I don't know.

I'm trying to seduce you.

That I understood.

Your resistance is admirable.

It's only been four days.

For people at our age, that's
a very precious amount of time.

But time well spent.

The game room, the unforgettable
trip across the mountains...

The play...

and a concert tomorrow.

Children beat around the bush when it comes
to love, because they don't know what it is.

Or because they're afraid of it.

Their confusion is so great that, in the end,
they start to believe their fear to be love.

Or the other way around.

But isn't that wonderful?

Marvellous! Poets make a
living out of it.

But then comes a time when
their confusion has ended.

The children have uncovered the mystery.

And then they're children no more.

Woe betide the man who, in the first moments of a love
affair, doesn't believe that love to be everlasting.

Why do you laugh?

Because I'm joyful.

You have to listen.

Music isn't meant to be listened to.

- You're not listening yourself.
- I listen...

Music is meant to recall memories.

You were recalling memories.

They were reflected in your eyes.
I could see them.

I 'was' listening to the music.

'And' there was a memory...

An evening...

maybe ten years ago.
I was travelling...

with a girlfriend.

"Don Giovanni" was playing in Bonn.

But she didn't want to come, she had
met a man, I saw him in the afternoon.

A rough and rugged man
with a thin mouth.

So I went alone.

It was terribly warm and I feared
I was going to faint.

I was surrounded by strangers,
there was no-one I knew.

And I had only one thought:

"I can't lose consciousness...

not with all these strangers
around me...

who could touch me... "

And you stayed conscious?

Yes.

And why weren't they
allowed to touch you?

I'm Meriora Gillibrand...

Say that I'm Meriora Gillibrand.

A woman.

A woman.

You have to touch me and say it.

I'm saying it, I'm saying it.

I want to hear it.

Listen.

In Bonn, at 'Don Giovanni'

I was a man.

You may not speak.

And I was surrounded by strangers
who all thought me to be a man.

Meriora Gillibrand,
disguised as a man.

And that's why I couldn't faint, for they
would have opened my shirt and seen my breasts.

Don't stop.

I want to feel your hands.

I want you to kiss me.

I'll whisper it.

I was a girl...

And there were two officers
and we lived in Vienna.

And they were young and beautiful.

God, how beautiful they were.

You have to listen.

And one killed the other
because of me.

Out of jealousy.

Out of lust.

And I knew he had murdered him.

That's why I wrote that letter and
arranged that meeting in the forest.

- That same forest.
- Stop it!

You have to touch me.

In God's name, stop.

I want to feel you.

Your mouth, your hands, your body...

You don't have to listen.

I'll talk for my own sake.

And when I entered the forest...

I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

Didn't know if I was scared...
If I loved him...

And he shouted...

And he appeared from
behind the trees...

like a panting beast,
that had killed for me.

And I took the knife out
of my breast pocket.

And I stabbed!

And I stabbed.

And I stabbed...

On the run.

For 15 years, I've been on the run.

With a chamber maid.

And when the mystery was unraveled...

I disguised myself as a man.

Not a woman.

Never a woman.

And all that time...

What happened to you?

Nothing.

Nearly nothing.

My god, you're drenched!

It's so chilly in here.

Why don't you come
downstairs for a moment?

I'm staying here.

Here you go.

Quickly drink this.

- It will warm you.
- Thank you.

Have you eaten anything yet?

I don't need anything.

I don't need anything more.
Please, you can go downstairs again.

If you need anything,
please call for us.

How's Axel doing?

Fine...
He cried the whole day when you left.

Please put it down...

Was there a letter?

No, no letter yet.

When I'm dead, you'll be sorry,
for it will all have been in vain.

Because things that happened so
long ago, are no longer true.

Dear Mother

And I crawled onto your lap and
you had a scarf, that you put over me.

And no-one could see me,
not even Father...

Mother, I've been thinking
about everything that's happened.

I could see it again...

The forest...

and the voice that called: "Meriora... "

And his death and how
I ran to be with you.

But I can't sense how I ran anymore.
I can't sense that it was me.

It wasn't me...

This morning, I looked
out of the window.

Very cautious...

for no-one may see me.

And I saw the stableman who
killed Victorine and he wept...

And I envied him...

Because he could cry,
because he could remember everything.

I await your letter, Mother.

Every day, I await your letter.

A letter for Monsieur Hawarden!

There's a letter... from Vienna.

Your mother is dead.

...is dead.

The End

@ Subtitles by Sengir (KG)