Money Crazy (1977) - full transcript

Your drink, boss

Cigarette, boss

And now

A report on the 101st

Mark 6 lottery

After the last lottery

The jackpot stands at $5, 037, 625

The investments on this

Tottery total $20, 000, 000

- The first prize will come
- It's been a long time

-close to $7, 000, 000
- It's all inclusive this time



- The winning numbers are
- Still no luck?

2,3,4,1,86, 8,

and 12

- And that ends
- I got them all

the Mark 6 report

Congratulations Boss

Luck comes along with wealth

It's so hard not to win

I lost again

Something's biting

- Can you give me half the money?
- No

Don't grab so hard

You'll strangle me

I don't want to lose you



He's dead

Where's the ticket?

You are so ruthless

I'll say some rosaries for him

Let's split what you got

You Win

There's too much money in this world

One can't earn them all

Why don't we

go into partnership?

I don't want to run the risk

Our birth signs may not match

Such cheap stuff for a rich man

Hey

that's my life

The numbers are all washed away

Don't you think that's too much?

For every winner there has to be a loser

A bonus for me?

Only $200 after all my risks?

You expect the boss to kiss you?

Now forget about coming to work tomorrow

You've been replaced

Where does this come from?

That's outrageous

Don't get mad, Mr. Chen

You got rich because of your wife

If she sees this photo

God help you

Alright, how much do you want?

Whatever your conscience says

You got some nerve

Money is what I have

Nobody but you dare to touch me

Here's several thousand dollars

Thanks, boss

And the negatives?

How come there are two?

You're having me bad

A moustached man

just ripped me off

Check him out and call me back

I'm unemployed again

Rich Chen, wealth unknown

His name tells me he's rich

How did this happen?

Why so late?

That's no reason for

pulling tricks on me

I haven't

What do you want? Kidnap?

We just want some money

I'll call the police

Tie him up

Hold it

Good boy, nosy

How was our performance?

You overacted

Thanks, boss

Let's go

Don't run.

Hey, let them go

What's your name

My name is Poison

I think you should hire a bodyguard

You're right.

I like your style

Come work for me

You'll be well paid, OK?

Thanks, boss

Hit on this side too, boss

Hey, Dragon Private
Investigation Agency, speaking

Can you speak louder please?

Hold on a second please

Hey, keep your voices down

Oh, it's Mr. Chen, I'm sorry

Too many clients these days

Can I help you?

Right away?

But I've an appointment

What?

It's urgent?

Alright, I'll cancel my appointment

Be right there

Rich Chen wants to hire me?

That's strange

You're sure it's him

We've spent $5000 in pinning him down

His moustache is like a knife

Specialized in cutting rich men

He must be the man

Let's see who wins this time

Cigar, sir

Let me try it first

Trying to kill my boss

Why did you do that?

He didn't give me a raise

A boss shouldn't give raises often

When one's too rich, people have funny ideas

Like kidnap, murder,

going on strike

Not me, boss.

I'm very faithful

- Really? Really?
- Sure.

Thanks, boss

Good, perseverance is what makes a tough man

- Keep up the good work
- Yes, boss

Sorry

Oh, I'm sorry

What's wrong with you?

I knew right way you weren't a maid

No maid wears such nice underskirt

You're crazy

Guess what my line is

Oh, what soft hands!

I know what you're doing

Mantling a bomb, right?

None of your business

With those wires, it has to be a bomb

I know because I'm a private eye

Miss, I...

You come to borrow money, right?

No, I have an appointment with Mr. Chen

Go in then

It's a small world

I risked my life getting this job

Don't you blow it for me

I want half of whatever you get

Let's make it forty-sixty

I know all your dirty tricks

You want me to tell your boss?

You're not that straight either

- Fifty. fifty...Fifty-fifty
- Forty-sixty...

Sit down

Mr. Chen, I...Don't bother

I know all about you

What do you want to see me about

I've a problem that needs help

Sometimes one can't

even trust one's wife

- You're right. I like your style
- My problem is...Hey...

Stop doing your sexy act

I pay you $5000 a month

But not for putting on shows

$500 an hour if you talk nonsense

Only half if you talk business

I want you to bring something to a customer

Three? That many?

All multicarats

Here's the address,

and half your pay

You really trust me?

Who dares to cross Rich Chen

in this city?

True. I'll see you then

Take the box with you

That thing's too conspicuous to carry around

Just don't worry, I'm a magician

Really?

Oh, here they are

Finished playing?

Oh, yes. I'm leaving

- Forty-sixty...
- Fifty-fifty...

That man cannot be trusted

Should I put a tail on him?

Yes, go ahead

Move it

haven't I seen this underskirt before?

Where are the diamonds?

Diamonds? What diamonds?

Those three that Chen gave you

You resembles my mother when you're mad

- Stop him!
- Search him!

Guns are too dangerous for girls

Come on, hand them over

Stop messing around, I'll give you 50%

Who wants your 50%7?

They're paste diamonds

She must be crying so hard for something

Guess what, Shakespeare once said:

Women shed a first teardrop of ambiguity

If his are really words of truth

People don't have to pray anymore

Stop crying, miss. Cheer up

Perhaps what Shakespeare said is true

It's all you two's fault

We've been working on it for days

It turned out to be simulated diamonds

We aren't the ones who set you up

Then who is?

Rich Chen

He even sent a hit man to kill you

Really?

But why me too?

You ripped him off once

What are you doing?

Under such circumstances

Chen's not going to let us go

We'd rather follow you

I have given the three
fake diamonds to a private detective

Lure the Uncle's people out

Then he instructed Ping to kill them one by one

Awesome, Boss

It's hard to be a good person in the world

Good people got loss

That's right, Boss

Will you stop flirting with me?

But that's love at first sight

Shakespeare had also said

Love at first sight means trouble

He's Ignorant

Is he a genius?

Uncle, we lost again

I used to count money everyday

Now all there to be counted are leaves

Don't worry, uncle

I'll get your diamonds back

Chen cheated me

But of my family diamonds also

Uncle

Why are you calling me uncle?

Who's he?

I don't know

I'm her boyfriend

That's not true

She's pretty grouchy

- I'll get used to it
- Good

Who is this then?

He's my partner

Wait a minute

I ain't partner to a ruthless man like you

Our birth signs may not match

But we can help each other out

Don't worry uncle, my partner and I

Will get your diamonds back

Right

Hey, you can walk

I've been paralysed for more than 10 years

Your promise heals better than medicine

Here's the man you must marry

But if he can't get the diamonds back

You should think it over again

Get up

Get up

Don't just call anybody uncle from now on

Boss

What happened to Ping?

- Like this
- What? All banged up?

Stupid. Who can I trust now?

I told you they're no good

My cousin will come to help you

He's here?

He just graduated from Shaolin

Really?

Fantastic

Boss

You got a lot of toys

To locate Chen's diamonds

We have to eavesdrop

I was a private eye too

Why did you quit?

I couldn't make enough money

So I became a professional bootlicker

Sometimes the tips are enough to live on

Intelligence is what makes one rich

Weren't I corrupt, I'd be an inspector now

I promised my father

will get rich this year

But all I've had is bad luck

How can one get rich

By being a bootlicker like you?

You think I like it?

If only I could do otherwise

Will beat 10 Rich Chens easily

The two of us together

Well? Partners?

What...are you doing?

They say brandy makes hair grow

So I use it all over my body

See how nice my moustache comes out?

You drank it?

- What will happen?
- You'll have a hairy stomach

Where did you place the mike?

You said anywhere on the car

Who's that? What an awful song!

Calling HQ, over. Calling HQ, over

Go ahead, over

I'm approaching the front line now

But I'm going to catch a cold

You think war is an easy game?

I want a present, boss

I'll buy you a leather coat

I don't use clothes

What do you like then?

Diamonds

After I'm finished with the Uncle gang.
I'll give you one...

Where are your diamonds? Can I see them?

No, their whereabouts is top secret

What are you doing here?

The 8877 squad is launching a mock attack

Hey, Poison, what's up?

Wow, it's beautiful.

- Hey, what's inside the box?
- Muck-worms

- How's it?
- Don't ask

- Stop drinking, come to bed
- Coming

Will someone steal your diamonds?

Don't worry, I only trust myself

They're all here

You're so smart

I had some devices
installed in this room I'll show you

I can't stand it

- I can't stand it
- There's another device

Stop it, please

These noises alone

Will scare any robber who breaks in

They're also monitored by the police

Hello, Chen here

This is the police, what happened?

Nothing, I was just playing

Testing to see if the alarm system works

You must be a nut

Where's the maid?

Don't get carried away, don't play with life

This cellar's used by
the Japanese during the War

Many were tortured to death here

Where are the Uncle gang hiding?

I won't tell you

Dude, of course you won't
talk about it if you're dead

But I'm young, why make it hard for us?

You're so unfaithful. I won't tell you

Still so stubborn?

Still so stubborn?

Be smart and tell me

I won't tell you

Why are you so good to uncle?

I'm an orphan, he brought me up

No wonder you help him so much

I'll do anything for him

Anything?

Have you two...

What are you talking about?

A Rose for the diligent gardener

- Thanks, uncle
- Don't mention it

Just finish that side too

Yes, sure

That 3 diamonds of uncle's

How did Chen get them?

Uncle may be weird, but he's kind

Yet he indulged in gambling and trusting people

Chen was actually his godson

Really?

Chen exploited uncle's weaknesses

And gambled with him often

Unfortunately Chen's a swindler

So uncle lost all his money

Full house

Wait a minute

No wonder uncle's psychologically unstable

What happened afterwards?

Uncle went broke

he had to sell his diamonds

Chen brought along a foreign buyer

Who offered a very high price

Trusting them, uncle brought his diamonds

I'll go to the bank right now

Be back to pay you in 30 minutes

Is he really coming back?

I think so. But if you're worried

Why don't you put the diamonds in the safe?

And wait until he comes back

That's the safest, isn't it?

You're right

You'll keep the key

Excuse me, I've to go to the bathroom

Sure

Years later we found out that
the buyer was Chen's accomplice

But we had no evidence

Uncle got so mad that he's paralysed

Are you really going to help me?

I'll suffer anything for you

Chen may be ruthless and tough

But I ain't stupid either

Freeze, Move it, Kneel

- How did you come up here?
- There's a ladder there

Look out

Get me up

Robber

I'll kill you

Diamonds!

Out! Help!

You're
crazy!

This way!

You and your plots! Now what?

We'll figure out some other ways

Count me out

Everything is pre-destined by Fate

Paste?

Yes, I toy with it so I won't feel so bad

Just like a genuine one

Paste diamonds can be made perfect

But genuine ones may have flaws

Really?

What's it?

What's it?

Not everything is pre-destined

If I run into that clown again

I'll skin him

Perhaps he'll do that to you

Before you can even touch him

Forget it boss

You still have your diamonds

Hello,

Chen here It's for you

Sorry about last night, Mr. Chen?

You dare to call?

Aren't you afraid I'll kill you?

Stop growling

- You get your diamonds back, right?
- Yes, what's?

However, forgery flourishes in this world

There are false teeth as well as wigs

Have you ever suspected that
your diamonds are paste?

You're crazy, mine are genuine

You don't believe me?

Do you know one of your diamonds is flawed?

Take a look yourself

Hey, what is his response?

It's true

Only paste diamonds can be flawed

Genuine ones should be perfect, right?

How do you know?

I stole your 3 genuine diamonds

And replaced them with paste ones

Is he convinced?

How do I know?

Call Liu Fu.
Tell him to come examine my diamonds

this diamond is the best, trust me

Hello, this is he

Mr. Chen wants me? I'll be right there

Where's Chen's Finance Co.?

Make 2 left turns and you'll find a corridor

Then make 2 right turns

And you'll find another corridor.
It's right there

- Who are you?
- Liu Fu

Come here, Mr. Liu

What's so urgent, Mr. Chen?

Someone said these diamonds are paste

Paste?

What did the man say?

He said genuine diamonds should be perfect

This one of mine is flawed

You think it's paste

That man's a fool

Genuine diamonds can be flawed

Only paste ones can be perfect

You got 3 genuine diamonds here

You're not kidding, are you

Could I? We're old friends

- That's right.
- Of course it is

- Look, I'm very busy.
- I've got to go

The private eye cannot cheat me

I seemed to see that guy's trick before

Shit, it's wrong

That's Liu Fu is fake. Get them

Hey, call police quickly

- You run there, let's go
- What do you want to do

Don't be silly anymore

How are you

No need to talk anymore, Mr. Chen

That guy asked me turn overall, I felt dizzy

But cheated me my cloths also

Don't talk anymore, get them

Didn't you want to see me, Mr. Chen?

Let's go

That was an outstanding performance

If I won't make it in this line.
I'll try to be a star

Frankly speaking.
If we return the diamonds to uncle

We'd have gained nothing

One has to think for oneself too

You're great

Then how could I lose my diamonds?

I've summoned three friends.
We'll get the diamonds back

Where are they?

That's the game of today's hit men?

They're educated overseas

Boss

- How are you, Mr. Chen
- Nice to see you

Made any good deals lately?

Small transactions, nothing big

I come to ask about your diamonds.
You still have them?

Why?

I met an old diamonds to him

If we sell your diamonds to him

He'll pay more than 10 millions

We can then split the money

I won't make much of a profit

Alright, I'll buy them for 9 millions

That should be enough profit for you

Not really

Can't you trust an old partner?

Of course I can, come back in 2 days

I like friends like you

Goodbye

But we've lost the diamonds, boss

I need you to tell me that?

9 millions and yet I can't make a move

Hello,

hold on. It's for you

You want your diamonds back

I must say you've got the nerve

You too

How about 2 millions for ransom?

Are you crazy? 2 millions

That's how many pieces. I want to cut you up

So you don't want the diamonds back?

Of course I do, they're my diamonds

If you can cut it by half

No

Don't be so stubborn, young man.
Surely we can negotiate

Let me think awhile

If I give him 2 millions

still have 7 millions

It's a deal

Here do we do it?

Tomorrow afternoon at Pig Hill

Don't you have any funny ideas

Would I do anything like that?

I trust you

- How was it?
- All set

I can give you the money. But you'll be dead

Here's the money?

And the diamonds?

No tricks now

Good morning, sir

How are you, sir?

Told you I'm not getting married today

My mother said it's a lucky day

Don't let them run away

Get out!

Here's the money?

Life is more important

It feels so good

Wow, 18 bronze people!

- Let's take him
- You go first

I'm handicapped, you go first

Don't let them run away

It feels so good

Go!

You go first

It's your turn

Go!

Iron Skull

Achillean Feat

Invulnerable Thighs

Throat Lock

Where did you learn that move

I've seen many Kung Fu movies

Where's the money?
We risked our lives and yet for nothing

You old bastard,

Trespassing my place

Finish the woodchopping or I'll chop you up

How are you

Thanks

I like friends like you

- Likewise here
- Goodbye

What are you doing?

Don't burn the money

Take a look yourself

What's wrong?

They all have the same number on them

So that's Chen's answer to our tricks

Perhaps it's true. That fate pre-destines...

No, it's not true

I discovered that for the sake of money

One can lose many friends

And gain nothing meaningful

Here's yours,

and here's yours

What about me?

- You and I share one
- Thanks

Like this

Come with me and I'll tell you

Not me, don't come near

Don't run, wait for me

Where shall we spend our honeymoon?

You tell me

All beds are the same