Mohamed Dubois (2013) - full transcript
My name's Arnaud Dubois.
You're pissed
and you have no ID!
That's a lot for a raghead!
I'm from Le Vésinet.
My name's Arnaud Dubois.
My father's a banker.
He's the boss of Berthier Bank.
Sure!
I swear I'm French.
- Mohamed! Why are you here?
- Lotfi?
So your name is Mohamed.
It isn't Mohamed.
You're making a mistake!
Isn't this the Rio flight?
6 months earlier
Palm Beach, Djerba.
How can I help you?
Hello, sir.
I'd like to speak
to Mr SaÏd, the tennis coach.
I'll put you through.
Hello?
- Dad?
- Excuse me?
- You must be mistaken.
- No.
Aren't you SaÏd,
the tennis coach?
Yes, that's right.
I'm Arnaud, Catherine's son.
Do you remember Catherine?
Catherine... Which Catherine?
Catherine Dubois.
End of August 1978.
She came from Le Vésinet
to Djerba for a holiday.
Sorry, I'm the new tennis coach.
In '78, I wasn't even born.
And the SaÏd you're after
left us 6 months ago.
I replaced him.
Ah, right. OK.
Do you know
where I can reach him?
You didn't understand, sir.
SaÏd is dead.
Is there anything I can do?
That's how banks work.
If it's no, it's no!
What do you mean?
Get off him!
Call the police!
- He almost strangled me.
- I barely touched him.
- What's going on?
- This guy is a racist.
- He's crazy.
- I'm crazy?
Excuse me, just a minute.
Who are you?
I'm Jean-Luc Fontaine,
the new client manager.
Ah, right.
- Are you OK?
- Yes, I'm fine.
Hang on, he attacked me.
I didn't even handle his case.
We respect our customers.
- I'll be writing a report.
- Thank you.
Mr Fontaine,
have a good day.
- Sorry for the inconvenience.
- It's OK. It's mektoub.
I'll just finish Ramadan quietly.
Thing is...
the first 30 days are the hardest.
The first 30 days!
I'd like to invite you to
the Diamond's Eid al-Fitr party.
Eid al-Fitr = End of fasting
- The Diamond's?
- You don't know it?
You can't be serious!
Every Arab knows
it's the club
with the hottest girls.
- That's very kind.
- My pleasure.
- Thank you.
- You got the wrong jacket!
Hello, Arnaud.
- I'm resigning.
- What's got into you?
I've just met
the new client manager.
- A Mr Fontaine.
- So?
Don't act dumb!
I accepted the security job
because you promised
I'd be client manager one day.
Then Mr Fontaine turns up
and nicks the job?
There's a problem.
Fontaine is more qualified
for the job.
I'm not keeping you.
You can leave.
This job is all you've got,
and it's thank to me.
All I've got?
From today,
I don't owe you anything.
There you go!
I'd have liked you
to tell the truth.
- Sorry?
- That you said to my face
you doubt I'm your son.
It's because you are
that you're where you are.
It's because of my Arab's mug
you've left me on security.
That's the truth!
I know about SaÏd,
the tennis coach.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh, yeah?
What about your paternity test?
Doesn't ring a bell?
Have you been snooping?
I just came across it.
You think I'm not your son.
With the face you have,
he's allowed to have doubts.
What difference will it make?
What difference will it make
if Mr Dubois isn't your father?
You're incredibly lucky
to be born where you were.
The circumstances are irrelevant.
Why did he wait so long
to do the test?
It could've been worse, you know.
Worse than Arab would be hard.
Yes, worse.
Because at the time
your mother was very close
to the ambassador of Zaire.
Zaire...
Yes, a Zairean.
From Africa?
Excuse me.
- Evening!
- Hello.
A glass of bubbly?
No thanks. It's haram.
Haram = Sin
It isn't, it's Ruinart.
It's better.
That's cool.
I'm Arnaud.
Arnaud? Are you serious?
Your name's Arnaud?
- Check the cute guy.
- Who is he?
Mohamed Bouchouche.
He was my neighbour in Marseille.
If only I could sleep with him.
Mohamed Bouchouche.
- Nico, wish me luck.
- I'm Arnaud!
- In any case...
- I can't hear you.
All right.
- All right, mate?
- Yeah!
- It's cool you're here.
- It's awesome.
What you looking at?
She's my girl.
Sorry, I didn't know.
Only kidding!
OK. Glad to hear it.
- She's very pretty. You know her?
- She's my sister.
- All right!
- I'm into Arab girls too.
- She really is your sister, OK.
- Hey, what's your name?
- I'm Mustafa Kherab.
- All right.
Oh yes, me.
- Mohamed Bouchouche.
- What?
- Mohamed Bouchouche.
- Ah, OK. Sabrina!
Come here!
- Meet my friend.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Sabrina, my sister.
Mohamed, Muslim.
What do you do?
I work in a bank.
That's good.
Got dosh to invest?
Don't do his head in.
He's a banker, I'm interested.
He's a banker
like you're a pilot.
You're a pilot?
Rachid, I need you.
See that blonde?
Do I have a chance?
I'm well horny.
I saw her first.
Look after her friend.
Shall I get her?
Yeah! I'll bone her.
I'll get her.
- You're a pilot?
- He's talking shit.
Are you a banker or not?
- Well, actually...
- I've got a great idea.
Any news from Karim
about the job?
- He didn't call you?
- No.
- I dunno what to say.
- I'll do it.
Lotfi, no ID, no way.
Bloody klebs.
Bloody klebs = Bloody dogs
We can't risk being closed down
because of him.
You're right.
What's the job?
Rachid has a kebab shop.
He needs someone to help him.
I'll do it.
I thought you worked in a bank.
Since the altercation,
I've been fired.
- It's my fault.
- He had it in for me.
It's a tough job.
I have to earn a living.
I'll talk to Rachid.
You start tomorrow.
But on a trial period.
Thanks.
Have a seat.
Hello!
Where's your mate?
Hi! I'm Virginie.
How you doing?
Are you blanking me
because I'm Chinese?
No, it's because I'm shy.
Where's the fridge?
I dunno.
It was here yesterday.
If you took it,
I'd rather you told me.
It wasn't me.
Hi.
- Nice here, isn't it?
- My head is killing me.
- What time is it?
- 8 o'clock.
I'm gonna be late.
I start at Rachid's at 11.
- You've loads of time.
- I've got to go to my folks'.
Mohamed, you can stay
as long as you like.
Thanks a lot.
It wasn't me.
- No, no...
- I've got one back home.
But not here.
- No.
- There you go.
What?
I'm crazy about her.
May God protect you
from the Devil!
That girl's done s'hour on you.
S'hour = Black magic
- What?
- She's bewitched you.
- No. Not at all.
- I know what I'm talking about.
That's how I seduced my hubby.
The guy who left you
after two years?
Give me a break!
Right, listen to me.
If you date that girl,
you'll have to marry her.
And that means
marrying her family too.
Be warned,
they have loads of brats
because of the family allowance.
And the girl will have
to be a virgin
until the wedding.
Aren't you exaggerating a bit?
They think I'm Muslim.
- Why?
- I told them
I was Mohamed Bouchouche.
- Bouchouche? Who's he?
- It doesn't matter.
They believe me.
I look like a Bouchouche, huh?
If they learn the truth,
you're screwed.
Even your money
won't protect you.
Between a poor Muslim
and a rich French guy,
halal always wins.
- What d'you mean?
With us, the boy
becomes halal
the day he proposes
to his wife-to-be.
So the father-in-law
takes him into his bedroom
to check out his prostate
and see that everything's in order.
Ah, no, no way!
Why... Why?
The boy has to be able
to procreate.
That's disgusting.
Yes. It's OK now though.
It's modern now.
They do it with latex gloves
and lubricant.
But in the past,
it was with a bare hand
and olive oil.
- Hi, Mum.
- Hello, darling.
Going on holiday?
After 33 years,
it's high time I left.
- I haven't said I'm still a virgin.
- You're a virgin?
I'm moving out.
Take the flat on Avenue Foch.
You know what, Mum?
I want to fend for myself.
I'm a big boy now.
That's something else!
Hey, Arnaud. Wait.
Take this with you.
It's your grandpa's gun.
- No way!
- It's safer, believe me.
- I'm not going to Afghanistan.
- It's worse.
Careful, it's loaded. Here.
- You're wearing that?
- What about it?
- They'll cut off your arm.
- Right. There.
And into my pocket.
Thanks, Djamila.
You can't wear that!
- Mohamed, what you doing?
- Folding the napkins.
This isn't Fouquet's.
Be quick. I'll show you.
Take the napkin.
Don't make a big deal of it.
We've no time to lose.
- OK.
- Go on.
Hey, Mohamed.
Psartek, the disguise.
Psartek = Congratulations
It's too much.
Right...
Today, it's Local Delights.
The chef's special.
I'm well starving.
It's delicious!
Reminds me of the cuisine
at Louis XV's in Monaco.
- I swear.
- You know the Prince of Monaco?
- Are you serious?
- He just said...
You have real talent.
- It's remarkable.
- He's the best.
He's worked in
the top restaurants in Paris.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I didn't know.
Which restaurants?
Le Fouquet's...
Can you do us 2 pizzas?
Pay me back
and I'll do you a truffle tagine.
- Hassen, heard from the Chink?
- What Chink?
Hey!
- Sabrina, come have a drink.
- I've got class.
- Just for 2 minutes.
- Later.
- Come on, Rachid.
- I said no. Just stop.
- What's all this about Chinks?
- Just bullshit.
That's not what I heard.
What did you hear?
You left with Jackie Chan's girl.
A Chinese girl?
And why not a dwarf?
Hassen, her brother's coming!
Bloody hell!
You haven't seen me.
- You smoke now?
- I'm trying to quit.
Where's that bastard Hassen?
Haven't seen him for days.
- Don't take the piss.
- It's true.
What's he done to you?
The shit owes me 10 grand.
Stealing from me,
Djalil Madani, his cousin?
I'm gonna get him.
Don't tell us.
He owes us loads too.
They bloody slipped again!
Are you new?
Yes. It's my first day
at the kebab shop.
- What's your name?
- Mohamed Bouchouche.
Welcome to hell.
Thanks.
You two jerks,
when you see that bastard,
give me a bell.
- No worries.
- Is that clear?
No worries.
- What the fuck have you done?
- He's a liar.
He's just jealous.
Find out about Mohammed.
Don't you worry.
I don't like the look of him.
- Hey!
- Hi.
Do you like boxing?
Yes, I love it.
- Coming up?
- I'd rather you came down.
- Boxed before?
- Yes, of course.
- Ready?
- Now?
- Are you scared?
- No.
It's just that...
No, not at all.
It's just I haven't boxed in ages.
Don't worry.
I'll go easy on you.
- Who's that joker?
- I dunno. He's gonna be sorry.
Honey? Darling?
Honey?
Is she his fiancée?
Is she your fiancée?
- Is she your fiancée?
- You knocked her out, jerk!
I'm gonna smash your face in.
I'm sorry.
It just happened.
But he's French!
You OK?
Did you know Sabrina
had a fiancé?
They've been together a year.
For a year?
Keep it to yourself.
Her family mustn't find out.
- Why?
- Because he's a frog.
They have suspicions.
What am I going to do now?
Are you really into Sabrina?
There are millions of girls.
Not like her.
I'm really in the shit...
- You're not.
- I am.
Good evening.
I love it!
It works every time.
It's like Ileween tonight.
Ile... Halloween!
Halloween. Yeah, great!
I came to see - good evening -
how Sabrina is doing.
She's resting in her room.
If I ever catch
the bastard that did it...
No one can touch my kids!
- Mohamed, how are you?
- All right?
Who's he?
He works at the kebab shop.
He's a good man.
Thank you!
I love flowers.
Aren't they lovely?
Stay for dinner!
Thanks anyway.
Have a good evening.
What's wrong with him?
I don't speak Arabic.
My dad died when I was small.
Mum wanted us to integrate.
Yes, I can see
she really tried to integrate!
Hang on.
Dad. Daddy.
I see the resemblance.
- Well?
- It's simply delicious.
Congratulations, Mustafa.
I'm the one who made it!
Congratulations! It was so good,
I thought it was Mustafa.
No. He can't cook.
She's right.
I can't hold a candle to her.
But after me,
my son's the best.
He should open a restaurant.
Working in a kebab shop
is such a waste.
- Mum, stop it.
- It's true.
Don't abandon your dreams
at the first problem.
It isn't my fault.
I've seen 10 banks.
They all refused.
Just ask Mohamed. He saw.
You want to open a restaurant?
Yes. But not a caff.
The 1st gastronomic
halal restaurant in France.
The business!
That's right, halal.
Are you serious?
I know what it is.
Ritual slaughter.
Halal. Of course.
A little...
All right.
I can help
with the financing application.
- Seriously?
- Absolutely.
I know the basics.
Interested?
- Absolutely.
- Let's meet and discuss it, OK?
- Sure!
- What documents d'you have?
I've put together
a whole dossier.
Your ketchup is really hot.
Listen to him!
He thinks the harissa's ketchup.
Don't get mad, Julien.
It's for the club, honey.
I love you.
See you tomorrow.
OK. But it's a drag.
I'd rather you were with me.
Are you sure, darling?
- Don't barge in!
- Why not answer me?
Mind your own business.
Coming out with us tonight?
- Where?
- The Diamond horror party.
The only place that'll let
your ugly mug in.
Everyone says we look alike.
It's me!
The intellectual pig.
I'm really sorry about the boxing.
It's OK.
Coming with us?
Excuse me.
Ah, no. Sorry!
Excuse me.
No.
Excuse me.
- Sabrina, come with me!
- What do you want?
Please come with me.
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere!
Get out of here!
You jerk!
Come here, you.
Who the fuck are you?
Come on.
Ah, no, Julien...
and other French guys,
I'm done with them.
I'm telling you, the next guy...
For life!
If I told you, for instance,
I was called... Arnaud.
What a crap name!
What a shitty name!
That's as dumb
as if I told you...
I was a cop.
He's from Marseille.
He's a big shot.
Mohamed Bouchouche,
organized crime.
No convictions.
Main business is coke trafficking.
He deals with
the Colombian cartels.
That's bullshit.
Why would a guy like him
be in the 'hood?
Why would he work
with that bunch of losers?
Stop.
Take a break.
All right, honey?
What was that for?
- What's wrong with you?
- What's wrong?
You little whore!
I'll rip your eyes out.
What?
The Devil was me.
Let me explain.
I didn't know it was a guy.
A guy? It was a guy
kneeling in front of you?
- Are you queer?
- I was off my face.
Why was a guy
giving you a blowjob?
Who gives a toss?
I was just aroused.
- It could've been a gorilla.
- A gorilla?
- Or a goat.
- A goat?
You're comparing me
to a gorilla and a goat?
You're a pervert.
Keep away from me.
- Forget me!
- Honey!
Punch the bag!
Jeremy, speedball.
Come on, Farid!
A goat? What a jerk!
How did he explain it?
He's ruined everything
because of a blowjob!
You're more likely
to get throat cancer that way
than by smoking a cig.
Are you serious?
Why? Do you smoke a lot?
I've never smoked
a cig in my life.
I quit 2 years ago.
OK, right. Well,
I've changed a few ratios
and corrected some mistakes.
The bank should accept it.
- You seem very confident.
- You're a killer, mate.
- What about the premises?
- In Barbès.
The hairdresser's cousin,
Mahmoud.
- No way!
- What?
He's a scumbag!
You can't trust a Tunisian.
- I'm Tunisian.
- Me too.
- Exactly.
- Hang on, man!
That's not what I mean, but, guys,
he isn't reliable.
Opening a gastronomic restaurant
in Barbès is a bad idea.
Come off it,
Barbès is the Arab neighbourhood!
He's right.
- Of course I'm right.
- Come on!
Come in, gents.
This is it.
- Beautiful, isn't it?
- Sure.
- It definitely has potential.
- You can't be serious!
We can't open a restaurant
in a dump like this.
- And your financial demands?
- The price?
I want to do you a favour.
You're young, motivated.
It's a fantastic project.
400,000 in key money
and 60,000 rent a year.
- See, it's a gift?
- Yeah, a great gift.
Today you're going to have
the deal of your life.
- You're in luck.
- If it's the deal of our life,
we're out of luck.
Are you calling me a crook?
- It's his way of negotiating.
- Negotiating?
- I thought you were serious.
- We are!
- That's why we're off!
- No, we're not going anywhere.
Could I make you an offer?
If we bank on
400,000 euros annual turnover...
You're nuts.
It's good stuff.
With a tenancy-at-will agreement.
If it works,
you can up the rent accordingly.
It could be a gold mine.
Win-win.
You've worn me down.
Guys, I suggest we celebrate.
Hold your horses.
The bank hasn't agreed yet.
If it doesn't, we're screwed.
The bank will agree, no problem.
Hang on!
- Where's my dosh?
- Leave them to it.
- Why haven't you called?
- I was going to.
Shut it.
- Your big-shot pal doesn't scare me.
- I don't have one!
I don't give a fuck
about his reputation.
He can call
his Colombian mates!
You've got a week
to come up with my cash.
- Got that?
- OK.
And don't forget,
I'm the boss around here.
You OK?
She's well nice, your friend.
Give me her number.
Try calling 999.
- Doesn't she like Arabs?
- Not losers like you!
Don't get carried away.
A letter for you.
From the bank.
Go on!
Well?
Fuck, it's yes.
It's gonna rain zeyo!
Zeyo = dosh
It's thanks to Mohamed.
His application was wicked.
The guy's a killer.
I'm so happy, bro.
"A digital rectal exam
to check the prostate.
"A finger is inserted
in the patient's rectum."
Oh, fuck!
- Is that interesting?
- You OK, Sabrina?
- Fine. And you?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing tonight?
- Nothing at all.
How about dinner?
Yes. OK, of course.
- 8pm at the Punjab, OK?
- Of course. The Punjab.
See you later.
- Congrats.
- Thanks, sis. Cool!
Did Sabrina tell you?
Hang on!
Hey! Relax, dude.
- It's only been approved.
- Yes, but I'd given up hope.
Stop!
Fucking hell!
Good news?
Yes. I've signed with the Tunisian.
Already? We don't have a cent
and nothing's been signed.
I had no choice,
someone else was interested.
You're well smart!
- What's the occasion?
- Guess.
You've got a date.
Who is she?
- I don't know.
- Tell me her name.
When we met,
there was a spark between us
and so we arranged a date.
Who is she?
A local girl?
The girl I'm seeing
is a decent girl.
A decent girl?
Then she can't be local!
- What?
- It's Sabrina.
What?
Don't take me for a jerk.
It's Sabrina.
No, it isn't!
OK, it's Sabrina.
Don't say a word.
OK, don't worry.
She's a big girl, Sabrina.
A massive pair.
Hey, when she's on all fours,
with her zouk sticking out,
give her one from me!
Easy, Mus.
You're too much.
He's gonna do a slut
and I can't be happy for him?
Seriously though.
- She's a slut, isn't she?
- Yes and no. Yes.
Djamila, I've got my date
with Sabrina.
I want to say something
nice to her in Arabic.
How would you say
"You're the prettiest girl in Paris"?
Do you speak Arabic, Mohamed?
Chouia, a bit.
Sorry?
"You're as pretty as a truck"
That's original!
No one's ever said that.
I guess I'm the first, then.
Thanks to Mohamed,
the boys got their bank loan.
Really?
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
An agreement in principle.
We mustn't get carried away.
He's modest too.
I don't mean to pry, Mohamed,
but do you have a girlfriend?
That's incredible.
- It certainly is.
- Incredible.
I'll be right back.
Charming, isn't he?
Charming.
Thanks for introducing us.
When he comes back,
I'll leave you to it.
I'm done.
Mind out.
- Speak to me in Arabic.
- What?
Say something to me in Arabic.
- Are you all right?
- Yes. Go on.
No. Stop that!
- Don't you find me attractive?
- That isn't the point.
- It's OK, then.
- Get off!
What's this?
- Who's Arnaud?
- Give it here.
Who's Arnaud?
He's a friend.
Are you taking the piss?
No. He was a childhood friend.
Come on, let's go.
- What's going on?
- He's queer.
- What?
- He's queer.
Him too?
How was last night?
Very good. Very, very good.
Did you have her or not?
Yes. I had her good and proper.
Come on, turn left, loser!
He's getting too confident!
Right, who is she?
None of your business.
Just trust me.
I'll find out sooner or later.
It's Julie.
See?
- Julie, my sister's colleague?
- Yes.
You're a right man-whore.
Maybe. I dunno.
I've calmed down,
but in the past, I was no angel.
If it's serious with the next girl,
I'll marry her.
But an Arab girl.
We'll be on the same wavelength.
- That's important.
- Sure it is.
Fuck! It's relaxing
to talk about sex.
At the same time,
I'm well stressed.
- If they say no, we're fucked.
- Don't worry.
It'll be fine.
Everything's ready.
I just need to know something...
Remember how you were
at Berthier Bank?
It'd be good if you weren't so...
See?
- Don't worry.
- I am worrying.
I'll be really calm, mate.
- You're capable?
- Sure I am.
Bastard, the limit is 30!
Go fuck yourself!
What's his problem?
Excellent. Being ambitious
is good in business.
Just one thing.
Your application doesn't mention
alcoholic beverages.
In an establishment like yours,
the profit margin on alcohol
isn't insignificant.
As it's a halal restaurant,
no alcohol will be served.
- What's all this about?
- Let me explain.
- Doesn't he know it's halal?
- Yes, kind of.
- I'm not ashamed of what I am.
- It isn't about that.
So it's a halal restaurant.
It's just a misunderstanding.
It doesn't change a thing.
Our aim is to attract
a Muslim clientele
that does not yet have
this sort of service.
I've nothing against Islam,
but in your application,
you didn't specify
your restaurant would be halal.
You should look for funding
within the community,
as the mosques do.
Why not Al-Qaeda?
- Have you read my CV?
- Of course.
I've worked with the best chefs.
I won the Young Chefs Competition.
Ever heard of it?
It's the most prestigious.
What's the problem?
Calm down.
I'm not doubting your skill.
The recession means
my bank must prioritize.
And I must admit
that halal restaurants
are not one of our priorities.
I think it's best
if we cut short this meeting.
Well, I don't!
Stay where you are.
- Your arguments are crap!
- Please calm down your friend.
Sorry, I've messed up.
It's all right, Mustafa,
because he's...
a racist son-of-a-bitch!
Bloody racist!
Racist!
Wanker!
Return the money
Ben Ali stole from the Tunisian!
Ben Ali = Dictator on holiday
Proud to be Tunisian!
Who are the Tunisians?
We are!
Security!
Ben Ali, you bastard
Ben Ali
Hi, Mustafa.
Hi, Mus.
You OK?
That's the last time
you wear that thing. OK?
People have remarked on it.
Honestly, he's right.
You're doing our heads in
with your revolution.
You haven't won the World Cup.
All right, I'll take it off!
- What's that?
- What?
What's that?
A jar of mayonnaise.
A jar of mayonnaise?
A jar of mayonnaise
next to the cooker?
Mohamed,
it'll land someone in hospital.
You want to poison people?
How many times have I told you
to put it in the fucking fridge?
You've told me a few times...
Drop the hangdog look!
You're doing my head in.
Easy, Mus.
You can all go fuck yourselves!
You're breaking my balls!
Out the way!
- What's up with Mus?
- It's because of the bank.
What about it?
They didn't agree the loan.
We're stuck.
It's kind of my fault.
Fucking hell!
You OK?
Sorry about earlier.
You gave me hope again.
Give it a break.
I still believe in your talent.
What's this?
Where'd you get it?
It was for my Hajj.
- Your what?
- My Hajj.
The pilgrimage to Mecca,
the 5th pillar of Islam.
Every good Muslim must do it
if he can afford to.
- The Hajj?
- The Hajj, yeah.
I can't accept this, bro. Here.
No. I have my whole life
to do the Hajj.
We need the cash now
to start on the renovation.
It might not be enough,
but we're going places.
So when do we start?
Thanks, Mohamed.
What time do you call this?
Just go home!
I haven't been scratching
my balls all day!
I've been using my grey cells.
- Who are these guys?
- They're DIY kings.
They can turn their hand
to anything.
And they're cheap.
That means they're illegal
and we pay them cash.
We can't do this alone!
It's bad to exploit
people's suffering.
What about ghetto solidarity?
You'd rather
they went through the bins?
He's got 14 kids to feed.
14! You should see them.
They've got swollen bellies,
big bulging eyes.
The cops chased this guy
and he lost his arm.
Gentlemen, please.
We have children, family.
Work to feed our children.
You OK, me not.
Me, painting, work,
serve you, sir.
Know what this reminds me of?
My parents when they arrived here.
I didn't get what he said.
It's a good job
it's his left hand...
Here, this is for the gear.
And this is the list of
what you need to buy.
You're right, we do need help.
Sort things with the Roms.
You're taking the piss.
- A real gem.
- What's that heap of shit?
An electricity meter.
It isn't powerful enough!
It's 200 euros.
Do you want it or not?
You don't...
Well?
For 50, I'll take it.
Want me to drop
my trousers too?
You Arabs always haggle.
Take it for 200 euros
or don't take it.
Hey, does 2 plus 2
still make 3 for you?
It's just I have to cough up
for my mum's diabetes.
If that's the reason,
it's cool for this time.
But don't try it again.
Chouf, my sister.
What do you think?
I think she's wet.
As she's been in the pool,
she's a bit wet.
I know she's got a guy.
Really?
But I can't tie her to the radiator.
Your sister's a really good girl.
Nothing like those sluts
we see in clubs.
- If only she were like yours.
- Why?
With a fatty, there's no hassle.
It's true.
OK, coming.
Wait here. I'll be gone an hour.
Stay where you are.
Keep an eye on her.
Will do.
If anyone goes near her, I'll...
- Yes!
- No way.
Djalil will see.
Don't worry,
he's gone out.
Yes! Just relax.
It's haram what we're doing.
Don't worry,
the condom's halal.
We're not getting anywhere.
"How poor are the people
who have no patience."
Hamlet. William Shakespeare.
Ring any bells?
"Cursed be time.
"The most precious gift it offers,
it takes away.
Al Mutamid ibn Abbad.
Take that, mate.
You made that up!
He's the most famous guy
in the Middle East.
Mohamed? Anyone here?
I'm not here.
- Why? She's your girl.
- Please.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Julie.
- Mustafa.
Isn't Mohamed here?
I haven't seen him today.
Pity.
Yes, it is a pity.
Maybe I could give him
a message from you?
Yes. If you wouldn't mind,
tell him I'm sorry
about the other night.
He'll understand.
Right...
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Wait!
May I walk you to your car?
It bothers me to let
a pretty girl like you...
Yes. All right.
Do you speak Arabic?
Yes, go on.
Louder!
Louder! That's it!
That's it!
Fuck me like an Arab.
Go on!
Fuck me, you raghead!
Fuck me,
I'm fucking the police!
It's Sabrina.
All right?
It's just that the light is...
- Er, how are you?
- Fine.
- Isn't Mustafa here?
- He had something to do.
- I brought you your dinner.
- That's sweet of you.
Thanks a lot.
"We're all a bit queer"
It'll come off in the wash.
- Whatever you're into. Here.
- Thanks.
It's too much just for me.
Won't you eat with me?
31, 30,
29, 28,
27...
That'll do.
Open your eyes.
It's beautiful.
Bon appétit.
- Is this for me?
- Yes.
Thanks.
Sabrina,
I've something to confess.
Really?
You don't have to.
We all have secrets.
Yes, but...
I can't keep it to myself anymore.
If it'll be a relief for you...
I'll keep quiet.
I'm in love with a girl.
With a girl?
You're in love with a girl?
Yes, I know who I'm in love with.
Do I know her?
I do know her.
Wait, let me think.
I'm going to guess.
Is her name Bachir?
Hey, Bachir isn't a girl's name!
You never know.
Is she local?
She's local?
- How long have you been together?
- The thing is...
we're not together... yet.
And she doesn't know I love her.
That's mad.
Why haven't you told her?
Because I don't know
how she feels about me.
What are her eyes like?
Her eyes are brown.
Like Algerian dates.
And her hair?
Black as khol.
How old is she?
She's 24.
- Like...
- Like me.
Dating my brother's friends
isn't really my thing.
And dating girls in uniform
isn't my style either.
Hang on, there's a funny smell.
- I can smell burning.
- Oh my God!
- It's on fire!
- Oh, my God!
I just want to die.
You gave us a scare, pal.
Committing suicide is haram.
Sorry, guys, the meter was faulty.
I'm so mad at myself.
We've all forgiven you.
Friendship isn't negotiable.
You weren't to know
they'd installed faulty gear.
You're family, guys.
- Right, young man...
- Hello.
Hello! Feeling better?
He can get up.
With the laxatives he swallowed,
things'll move fast.
Just mind what you eat
for a few days.
With the pads,
you should be OK.
- Have a nice day now!
- Goodbye. Thanks.
- I almost died, guys.
- What the hell is this?
Why didn't you call me?
You mustn't keep things in.
Isn't that Nawel
with Mohamed Bouchouche?
- Shut your mouth.
- What?
Cousin.
It's nice of you to come.
With what you owe me,
I don't want you to croak.
Had any visitors?
Mustafa, Mohamed and Rachid
came to see me earlier.
Is that all?
- Are you taking the piss?
- Let me explain.
Why are you lying?
I swear on my mum's life
I wanted to tell you.
I'm just a shit. Kill me.
Calm down. Tell me,
since when has Nawel
been dating Bouchouche?
Bouchouche? I don't know.
He's been hovering around her.
- Reckon it's serious?
- I don't know.
Mohamed's a straightforward guy.
I can put pressure on him.
- Forget it.
- Are you sure?
I said forget it.
I wanted to talk business.
I've got a great plan.
He wants to do business with me?
You couldn't sell
an old lollipop to a blind man!
Mohamed and Mustafa
are on board.
- Go on.
- It's hard to explain.
- You should talk to them.
- Tell them to come see me.
Thanks, cousin.
- Get some rest.
- Will do.
Could you hand me a pad?
Or it'll be messy. Quick!
Hurry up! Oh fuck!
I shouldn't have listened to you.
Do you want a restaurant or not?
Don't talk to me like that!
- It burnt down because of you.
- It wasn't my fault.
The Roms installed the meter
back to front.
No! The inquiry proved
the bloody meter was faulty.
- You lined your pockets too.
- Me?
- Not now!
- He's a pain.
You both are.
What's he doing?
Ready?
No, you two wait here.
No. You come with me.
Fuck.
I know who you are.
I saw your gun
when I followed you in the 'hood.
I know everything.
There's room for 2 here.
We can do business.
You're after a partner?
- Yes, I am.
- How much do you need?
100 grand.
We're gonna clean up.
When?
Soon.
Once we find the right guys,
things will move fast.
Stay there.
Where are you going?
Want to count it?
No, it's OK.
50, 100, 100,00.
100 grand.
But, as for my identity...
best to keep it to yourself.
- It could mess up the business.
- It's safe with me.
By the way,
planning on getting married?
Get... Yes. Well, I think so.
That's the idea.
It's better for the girl.
In the 'hood, people talk.
She's a decent girl.
She's a great girl.
Don't worry, it's serious.
I'm really in love.
I hope so.
Don't worry.
Hello, Djami?
Yes, Arnaud.
We have to meet.
I've something important
to tell you.
Oh, my dear Arnaud!
- How's this for size?
- Perfect.
- What's going in?
- I was wrong.
About what?
Mr Dubois really is your dad.
That's impossible.
The test is 100% reliable.
No, it isn't true.
You're lying.
I'm lying?
What's this, then?
Fucking hell!
Fuck, I'm not Arab. Shit!
I'm not Arab.
This is a bloody disaster!
Stop.
Stop talking rubbish.
I told you the other day.
Find yourself a young girl
of your class,
and your problems will vanish.
So, Arab, walou?
Walou, Arab.
- Not even a bit?
- Not even a bit.
Mum, how do I look?
Fabulous, my girl.
Like a princess.
That's your Prince Charming
with his big camel!
You're beautiful.
Nice carriage.
Thank you.
Someone lent it to me.
Good evening.
I'm Edouard, your satnav.
We are 20km
from your destination.
The outside temperature
is 28 degrees centigrade.
This is wild.
How did you get this?
- I'm loaded.
- Is that so?
- I'm well rich.
- And handsome and smart.
People say I'm not bad.
Come here.
Sabrina, I wanted...
- Wait a second.
- What?
I've something important
to tell you.
Sabrina, you're the love of my life.
I want to marry you.
I've never met
such a funny bloke.
I mean it,
I want to marry you.
Wait! I've something else
important to say,
or even more important.
Go on.
I'm not who you think I am.
It's OK with me.
You can love men,
then love a woman.
At 16, I kissed a girl.
I've never loved men!
- It's the happiest day of my life.
- Is that a yes?
Our first child will be a boy.
We'll call him Mohamed.
Mohamed like me.
No. Like Muhammad Ali.
Wait, Sabrina! Your virginity...
Not before marriage!
I'm thirsty.
- I'll go, then.
- Yeah, do.
Now?
Dad, Mum, salam alikoum.
- Shouldn't you be in Deauville?
- We sold the villa in Deauville.
This year we celebrated
your father's birthday in Paris.
Happy birthday, Dad!
What kind of language is that?
Grab your things!
My mate's parents are home.
That's it. This way.
Open this door,
go out and you'll come to a gate.
There's a switch on the left.
I'll call a cab.
Aren't you coming?
I have calm them down
or they'll call the cops.
We have to do things properly.
We'll throw a great party.
The whole neighbourhood
will remember it.
No. Come with your parents
to my parents'.
An official proposal,
they'd like that.
- When?
- Next week, for Eid.
My mum celebrated
a few weeks ago.
No. Eid al-Adha. The sheep.
- How many Eids do you have?
- Are you serious?
Sorry, I'm a bit tired.
That's stressing me.
Look, the truth is,
my mother's vegetarian.
She can eat chickpeas.
No! I'm talking rubbish.
My mum is on a pilgrimage
in Mecca.
I dropped her off
two weeks ago.
Hajj was a month ago!
I get it. You had your fun.
There's no hope.
You're like the others.
Wait! OK, sorry.
My mother and I will come
and see your family, OK?
Are you happy now?
Everything I've done,
I've done for you.
To be sure
there'd be no problem
with your inheritance.
Or I'd never have done the test.
You can't say we look alike.
You had doubts?
Well, didn't you?
I've always loved you as my son.
Can you help me?
Give this to Mustafa.
- You OK?
- Fine, yeah.
Olives.
Can I take these?
Why did you lie to me?
I never lied to you.
Nothing happened
between Julie and you.
She's lying, is she?
I didn't dare tell you the truth.
I'm sorry.
It's OK.
I won't tell anyone.
Thanks a lot.
But, from today,
you're with my sister.
If I see you pick up a guy,
I'll beat you up.
Stop saying I'm queer!
I'm not gay, Mustafa.
Mohamed, don't try that with me.
OK. I'll behave myself.
Happy now?
See? When you put
your mind to it...
Mohamed, my son!
Come into my room!
We have to talk!
You know this is
an important day for the family.
And for you too.
The Hajj. I know.
I've been preparing for this,
but I must admit it isn't easy.
It isn't easy for any man
who's taking a wife.
Every man must be halal,
mustn't he?
It's important.
I hope you'll be happy together
and you'll make me
lots and lots of grandchildren.
You can tell me.
- I'm ready.
- What are you doing?
Put that away.
Sorry?
You're mad!
Is that it?
It was...
God forgive us!
I can't do Ramadan.
I tried, but it's impossible
because of my figure.
Besides, 30 days is too long.
It's hard.
My weight yoyos.
Mustafa, help me.
Mohamed, give me your plate.
You're in for a treat!
He's getting it, is he?
Don't you sulk.
It's the same every year.
They argue over the head.
- I'm not very hungry.
- Eat it or I'll be upset.
It's for you.
Very good bismillah.
- It's quite meaty.
- Hang on!
Start with the eyes,
they're the best bit.
Here goes!
Go on.
Isn't it delicious?
Really delicious.
He's a good boy.
I'm so happy
my daughter's marrying a Muslim.
It's better for the children
when you share the same values.
That's for sure.
And you, Sabrina,
have you always dated Arabs?
Mum, please.
It's OK. I can answer.
I was seeing a boy
called Julien. So what?
You went out with him?
- I suspected as much!
- Calm down.
- "Julien" isn't very Muslim.
- No, but he's a plumber.
Selim, shut up!
But it's true.
I prefer sins to hypocrisy.
With all due respect,
you're going too far.
- I'll sleep with who I like.
- Mind your words!
Don't talk like that.
I warned you, Arnaud.
I told you at the start
that marrying an Arab girl
is no end of trouble.
- Who's Arnaud?
- Arnaud?
Tell her the truth.
- Get out, Djamila.
- No! Tell her the truth.
Mohamed, who's Arnaud?
Come on!
Arnaud is me.
My name's Arnaud Dubois.
My dad's called Gérard.
My mum's name is Catherine.
I lied to you.
Forgive me, Sabrina.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I'm sorry.
What the hell is this?
Until last week,
I thought I was Arab too.
My dad was called SaÏd.
But no.
Gérard did a paternity test.
And I am his son.
There. I was Arab.
I no longer am.
Why did you do this?
I was afraid
you would reject me.
I haven't always told the truth,
but my feelings were sincere.
Stop! Bloody well stop!
Stop, OK?
I don't know Arnaud.
I love Mohamed.
You don't get it!
Let go of me!
Get off!
If I'd known,
you wouldn't be here!
Oh, yeah?
So how come I'm here?
- That's different.
- It's different?
Because at night
you ask me to put on the siren?
You're all pissing me off!
Get out, witch.
Get out!
Of course I'll go.
May God curse you,
you bunch of hypocrites!
Bloody hypocrites.
I'm going to hit her.
Missed!
Dubois, my arse!
Mohamed Bouchouche, is it?
I agreed because I thought
you were Mohamed Bouchouche,
the Colombians' mate.
No one fucks with me!
You've got a week
to give me back my dosh.
And don't you ever
go near my sister again.
Look at that shit!
Hi.
What happened?
It was Djalil.
He gave me a beating.
He knows who I am.
What d'you mean?
It all came out at Eid.
Everyone knows
my name isn't Bouchouche.
What is it, then?
Arnaud Dubois.
- Don't talk crap!
- It isn't crap.
Look, my parents.
Where did you get your mug?
Don't take the piss.
Frogs don't usually
adopt Arabs, but Chinese kids
because they're good students.
But I'm not adopted.
What does Djalil want from you?
He wants his money back.
Why?
He thought he'd given it
to someone else.
It makes no difference.
It does for him.
Fuck!
How are we going
to pay him back?
It isn't your problem,
it's my problem.
- His cash went into the restaurant.
- If he's after me,
he'll leave you alone, OK?
If it's a success,
we'll make money
and I'll pay him back.
I'm off.
Wait!
Do you mind if
I call you Mohamed?
I don't care if you're not Arab,
but "Arnaud" is dodgy.
I swear,
you're scary sometimes.
Really scary.
Bye, Mohamed.
Heard from Mohamed?
No. I haven't seen him
for 2 weeks.
No one knows where he is.
I feel really bad
he's missing the opening.
The restaurant exists
thanks to him.
It's a sad business.
What can we do for him?
I dunno.
Djalil refuses to listen.
He's well mad.
He had till last week
to pay him back.
If he finds him,
he's capable of killing him.
Fuck.
Mohamed doesn't deserve this.
This is Sabrina's voicemail.
Leave a message.
Arnaud, give up
or I'll send the squad!
Mohamed, let me in.
It's Hassen.
- Hassen, it's you?
- Yes. Quick, let me in!
- How did you find me?
- Djalil is in the area.
Let's get out of here!
- Here, you'll need this.
- Where'd you get it?
You left it at my place.
- You're nuts.
- Take it!
It's you or him!
Listen, he won't hesitate.
Take it.
- I can't do that.
- You'll shoot yourself! There.
- Let go!
- Shoot!
I can't!
- Fuck!
- You said it wasn't loaded!
Well, maybe a bullet
was stuck in it.
Fuck!
They've killed him.
Bastard!
You scared us.
It just skimmed my head.
- What the fuck!?
- Chill, you.
- What is this?
- It's a joke.
You don't owe Djalil a cent.
- How come?
- You don't owe him anything.
You really took the piss
with your Arnaud crap,
but we couldn't drop you.
Rachid sold his kebab shop.
You don't owe Scarface.
Yeah, I sold it to
that jerk Emre.
So we're partners now.
Thanks, family.
I mean it. Family's cool.
Anyone seen Sabrina?
Everyone's forgiven you,
but with Sabrina...
it's gonna be tough, bro.
I want to talk to you.
Move along, sir.
Sabrina, please,
come out... of that thing.
Please, I want to talk to you.
Five minutes.
What's five minutes?
You're being a pain.
Let go of the intercom
or I'll send a team out.
Sabrina,
if you don't love me,
let them find me here.
"Tis better to lose my life
through their hatred
"than wait for death
without being loved by you."
William Shakespeare.
Five minutes.
Can you hear me, Sabrina?
Sabrina, I've always known
you were the one.
As soon as I set eyes on you.
"Had my heart truly loved
"until then?
"Say no,
"my eyes,
"for I had never seen true beauty
"until that night."
That's beautiful.
Will you marry me?
Hey, Fernandez!
What's this, a web chat?
Get lost
or I'll throw you in a cell!
Jerk!
Sabrina, respect me...
like I respect you.
William Shakespeare.
Only kidding!
Sabrina, let me in!
Fuck! That's it, you pig!
Let's get him.
Grab him, cuff him
and bring him in here.
Guys, let's go!
Grab some tissues.
I live round the corner!
I'll go home.
Let go of me.
Get off!
Get off me! Ow!
My name's Arnaud Dubois.
And I'm Seb.
Seb Mami!
Stop taking the piss, you!
We're tired.
We want to go home.
On the Koran of Mecca,
my name's Arnaud Dubois.
Are these for your little fists?
Give them back!
You're fucking pissed!
And you've no ID!
That's a lot for a raghead!
I'm from Le Vésinet.
I'm Arnaud Dubois.
My father's a banker.
He's the boss of Berthier Bank.
I'm French.
He's funny, huh?
And that's La Marseillaise, is it?
Cheer up, pal!
You've won a free trip!
Mohamed! What a surprise!
What you doing here?
- Oh, Lotfi.
- Your name is Mohamed.
It isn't Mohamed.
You're making a mistake!
It's pointless, Momo.
Tell the truth.
Shut it, you!
It's a bit much
this miles business!
Shut it, you!
It's perfectly legal.
The accompanying officer
can use illegals' miles.
End of story.
I don't make the laws!
Everyone takes advantage.
Look around you.
Everyone takes advantage
of the fucking system.
Fuck!
Isn't this the Rio flight?
Get off! Let go of me!
- Let go of me!
- Shut it.
My name's Arnaud Dubois!
- Shut it.
- You shut it!
I'm from Le Vésinet!
Ile-de-France!
Where'd you find these?
I'll get him!
Don't worry, Mohamed.
As soon as we're back home,
I know a great smuggling network.
We'll come straight back.
Don't you worry.
Going home, Arnaud?
What are you doing here?
Yeah, I was feeling homesick.
Want to come?
If the man I love refuses,
I'd love to.
Which hotel are you in?
I don't have one,
just a Tuareg tent.
We'll be able to move around.
You've always been different, huh?
Here. Don't lose them this time.
We might need them.
For Mohamed.
What if it's a girl?
We freeze her
and wait for a boy.
Bravo!
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Know how many applications
I approved today?
Seventeen.
I told you,
the 'hood's a gold mine.
Thanks for trusting me.
- You're pretty good.
- Thanks.
For an Arab.
Congratulations!
- I'm really proud!
- All right, man?
- May I?
- Sure!
It moved.
- Does the son-of-a-bitch have a dad?
- It's a girl, Djalil.
- What?
- It's a girl.
Hold this.
- How do you know?
- I asked.
It's definitely a girl.
- How are you?
- You OK, Rachid?
Yeah, bro!
- OK?
- Congrats!
- Thanks.
- You got a star?
Yeah, I did.
It's awesome.
Come see Auntie Djamila.
Did you get the...
results?
You can't be serious!
You're a pain, bro.
If Sabrina finds out you did
a paternity test, she'll kill you.
Don't touch him!
Your hands are dirty.
- Sorry, but look at his face.
- What about it?
Look at his blue eyes.
- Where did he get those eyes?
- You know, sometimes...
Maybe his grandpa.
I don't know.
What's his name?
Mohamed...
Dubois.
Isn't it, poppet?
Yes, it is!
Subtitles: Eclair Media
You're pissed
and you have no ID!
That's a lot for a raghead!
I'm from Le Vésinet.
My name's Arnaud Dubois.
My father's a banker.
He's the boss of Berthier Bank.
Sure!
I swear I'm French.
- Mohamed! Why are you here?
- Lotfi?
So your name is Mohamed.
It isn't Mohamed.
You're making a mistake!
Isn't this the Rio flight?
6 months earlier
Palm Beach, Djerba.
How can I help you?
Hello, sir.
I'd like to speak
to Mr SaÏd, the tennis coach.
I'll put you through.
Hello?
- Dad?
- Excuse me?
- You must be mistaken.
- No.
Aren't you SaÏd,
the tennis coach?
Yes, that's right.
I'm Arnaud, Catherine's son.
Do you remember Catherine?
Catherine... Which Catherine?
Catherine Dubois.
End of August 1978.
She came from Le Vésinet
to Djerba for a holiday.
Sorry, I'm the new tennis coach.
In '78, I wasn't even born.
And the SaÏd you're after
left us 6 months ago.
I replaced him.
Ah, right. OK.
Do you know
where I can reach him?
You didn't understand, sir.
SaÏd is dead.
Is there anything I can do?
That's how banks work.
If it's no, it's no!
What do you mean?
Get off him!
Call the police!
- He almost strangled me.
- I barely touched him.
- What's going on?
- This guy is a racist.
- He's crazy.
- I'm crazy?
Excuse me, just a minute.
Who are you?
I'm Jean-Luc Fontaine,
the new client manager.
Ah, right.
- Are you OK?
- Yes, I'm fine.
Hang on, he attacked me.
I didn't even handle his case.
We respect our customers.
- I'll be writing a report.
- Thank you.
Mr Fontaine,
have a good day.
- Sorry for the inconvenience.
- It's OK. It's mektoub.
I'll just finish Ramadan quietly.
Thing is...
the first 30 days are the hardest.
The first 30 days!
I'd like to invite you to
the Diamond's Eid al-Fitr party.
Eid al-Fitr = End of fasting
- The Diamond's?
- You don't know it?
You can't be serious!
Every Arab knows
it's the club
with the hottest girls.
- That's very kind.
- My pleasure.
- Thank you.
- You got the wrong jacket!
Hello, Arnaud.
- I'm resigning.
- What's got into you?
I've just met
the new client manager.
- A Mr Fontaine.
- So?
Don't act dumb!
I accepted the security job
because you promised
I'd be client manager one day.
Then Mr Fontaine turns up
and nicks the job?
There's a problem.
Fontaine is more qualified
for the job.
I'm not keeping you.
You can leave.
This job is all you've got,
and it's thank to me.
All I've got?
From today,
I don't owe you anything.
There you go!
I'd have liked you
to tell the truth.
- Sorry?
- That you said to my face
you doubt I'm your son.
It's because you are
that you're where you are.
It's because of my Arab's mug
you've left me on security.
That's the truth!
I know about SaÏd,
the tennis coach.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh, yeah?
What about your paternity test?
Doesn't ring a bell?
Have you been snooping?
I just came across it.
You think I'm not your son.
With the face you have,
he's allowed to have doubts.
What difference will it make?
What difference will it make
if Mr Dubois isn't your father?
You're incredibly lucky
to be born where you were.
The circumstances are irrelevant.
Why did he wait so long
to do the test?
It could've been worse, you know.
Worse than Arab would be hard.
Yes, worse.
Because at the time
your mother was very close
to the ambassador of Zaire.
Zaire...
Yes, a Zairean.
From Africa?
Excuse me.
- Evening!
- Hello.
A glass of bubbly?
No thanks. It's haram.
Haram = Sin
It isn't, it's Ruinart.
It's better.
That's cool.
I'm Arnaud.
Arnaud? Are you serious?
Your name's Arnaud?
- Check the cute guy.
- Who is he?
Mohamed Bouchouche.
He was my neighbour in Marseille.
If only I could sleep with him.
Mohamed Bouchouche.
- Nico, wish me luck.
- I'm Arnaud!
- In any case...
- I can't hear you.
All right.
- All right, mate?
- Yeah!
- It's cool you're here.
- It's awesome.
What you looking at?
She's my girl.
Sorry, I didn't know.
Only kidding!
OK. Glad to hear it.
- She's very pretty. You know her?
- She's my sister.
- All right!
- I'm into Arab girls too.
- She really is your sister, OK.
- Hey, what's your name?
- I'm Mustafa Kherab.
- All right.
Oh yes, me.
- Mohamed Bouchouche.
- What?
- Mohamed Bouchouche.
- Ah, OK. Sabrina!
Come here!
- Meet my friend.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Sabrina, my sister.
Mohamed, Muslim.
What do you do?
I work in a bank.
That's good.
Got dosh to invest?
Don't do his head in.
He's a banker, I'm interested.
He's a banker
like you're a pilot.
You're a pilot?
Rachid, I need you.
See that blonde?
Do I have a chance?
I'm well horny.
I saw her first.
Look after her friend.
Shall I get her?
Yeah! I'll bone her.
I'll get her.
- You're a pilot?
- He's talking shit.
Are you a banker or not?
- Well, actually...
- I've got a great idea.
Any news from Karim
about the job?
- He didn't call you?
- No.
- I dunno what to say.
- I'll do it.
Lotfi, no ID, no way.
Bloody klebs.
Bloody klebs = Bloody dogs
We can't risk being closed down
because of him.
You're right.
What's the job?
Rachid has a kebab shop.
He needs someone to help him.
I'll do it.
I thought you worked in a bank.
Since the altercation,
I've been fired.
- It's my fault.
- He had it in for me.
It's a tough job.
I have to earn a living.
I'll talk to Rachid.
You start tomorrow.
But on a trial period.
Thanks.
Have a seat.
Hello!
Where's your mate?
Hi! I'm Virginie.
How you doing?
Are you blanking me
because I'm Chinese?
No, it's because I'm shy.
Where's the fridge?
I dunno.
It was here yesterday.
If you took it,
I'd rather you told me.
It wasn't me.
Hi.
- Nice here, isn't it?
- My head is killing me.
- What time is it?
- 8 o'clock.
I'm gonna be late.
I start at Rachid's at 11.
- You've loads of time.
- I've got to go to my folks'.
Mohamed, you can stay
as long as you like.
Thanks a lot.
It wasn't me.
- No, no...
- I've got one back home.
But not here.
- No.
- There you go.
What?
I'm crazy about her.
May God protect you
from the Devil!
That girl's done s'hour on you.
S'hour = Black magic
- What?
- She's bewitched you.
- No. Not at all.
- I know what I'm talking about.
That's how I seduced my hubby.
The guy who left you
after two years?
Give me a break!
Right, listen to me.
If you date that girl,
you'll have to marry her.
And that means
marrying her family too.
Be warned,
they have loads of brats
because of the family allowance.
And the girl will have
to be a virgin
until the wedding.
Aren't you exaggerating a bit?
They think I'm Muslim.
- Why?
- I told them
I was Mohamed Bouchouche.
- Bouchouche? Who's he?
- It doesn't matter.
They believe me.
I look like a Bouchouche, huh?
If they learn the truth,
you're screwed.
Even your money
won't protect you.
Between a poor Muslim
and a rich French guy,
halal always wins.
- What d'you mean?
With us, the boy
becomes halal
the day he proposes
to his wife-to-be.
So the father-in-law
takes him into his bedroom
to check out his prostate
and see that everything's in order.
Ah, no, no way!
Why... Why?
The boy has to be able
to procreate.
That's disgusting.
Yes. It's OK now though.
It's modern now.
They do it with latex gloves
and lubricant.
But in the past,
it was with a bare hand
and olive oil.
- Hi, Mum.
- Hello, darling.
Going on holiday?
After 33 years,
it's high time I left.
- I haven't said I'm still a virgin.
- You're a virgin?
I'm moving out.
Take the flat on Avenue Foch.
You know what, Mum?
I want to fend for myself.
I'm a big boy now.
That's something else!
Hey, Arnaud. Wait.
Take this with you.
It's your grandpa's gun.
- No way!
- It's safer, believe me.
- I'm not going to Afghanistan.
- It's worse.
Careful, it's loaded. Here.
- You're wearing that?
- What about it?
- They'll cut off your arm.
- Right. There.
And into my pocket.
Thanks, Djamila.
You can't wear that!
- Mohamed, what you doing?
- Folding the napkins.
This isn't Fouquet's.
Be quick. I'll show you.
Take the napkin.
Don't make a big deal of it.
We've no time to lose.
- OK.
- Go on.
Hey, Mohamed.
Psartek, the disguise.
Psartek = Congratulations
It's too much.
Right...
Today, it's Local Delights.
The chef's special.
I'm well starving.
It's delicious!
Reminds me of the cuisine
at Louis XV's in Monaco.
- I swear.
- You know the Prince of Monaco?
- Are you serious?
- He just said...
You have real talent.
- It's remarkable.
- He's the best.
He's worked in
the top restaurants in Paris.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I didn't know.
Which restaurants?
Le Fouquet's...
Can you do us 2 pizzas?
Pay me back
and I'll do you a truffle tagine.
- Hassen, heard from the Chink?
- What Chink?
Hey!
- Sabrina, come have a drink.
- I've got class.
- Just for 2 minutes.
- Later.
- Come on, Rachid.
- I said no. Just stop.
- What's all this about Chinks?
- Just bullshit.
That's not what I heard.
What did you hear?
You left with Jackie Chan's girl.
A Chinese girl?
And why not a dwarf?
Hassen, her brother's coming!
Bloody hell!
You haven't seen me.
- You smoke now?
- I'm trying to quit.
Where's that bastard Hassen?
Haven't seen him for days.
- Don't take the piss.
- It's true.
What's he done to you?
The shit owes me 10 grand.
Stealing from me,
Djalil Madani, his cousin?
I'm gonna get him.
Don't tell us.
He owes us loads too.
They bloody slipped again!
Are you new?
Yes. It's my first day
at the kebab shop.
- What's your name?
- Mohamed Bouchouche.
Welcome to hell.
Thanks.
You two jerks,
when you see that bastard,
give me a bell.
- No worries.
- Is that clear?
No worries.
- What the fuck have you done?
- He's a liar.
He's just jealous.
Find out about Mohammed.
Don't you worry.
I don't like the look of him.
- Hey!
- Hi.
Do you like boxing?
Yes, I love it.
- Coming up?
- I'd rather you came down.
- Boxed before?
- Yes, of course.
- Ready?
- Now?
- Are you scared?
- No.
It's just that...
No, not at all.
It's just I haven't boxed in ages.
Don't worry.
I'll go easy on you.
- Who's that joker?
- I dunno. He's gonna be sorry.
Honey? Darling?
Honey?
Is she his fiancée?
Is she your fiancée?
- Is she your fiancée?
- You knocked her out, jerk!
I'm gonna smash your face in.
I'm sorry.
It just happened.
But he's French!
You OK?
Did you know Sabrina
had a fiancé?
They've been together a year.
For a year?
Keep it to yourself.
Her family mustn't find out.
- Why?
- Because he's a frog.
They have suspicions.
What am I going to do now?
Are you really into Sabrina?
There are millions of girls.
Not like her.
I'm really in the shit...
- You're not.
- I am.
Good evening.
I love it!
It works every time.
It's like Ileween tonight.
Ile... Halloween!
Halloween. Yeah, great!
I came to see - good evening -
how Sabrina is doing.
She's resting in her room.
If I ever catch
the bastard that did it...
No one can touch my kids!
- Mohamed, how are you?
- All right?
Who's he?
He works at the kebab shop.
He's a good man.
Thank you!
I love flowers.
Aren't they lovely?
Stay for dinner!
Thanks anyway.
Have a good evening.
What's wrong with him?
I don't speak Arabic.
My dad died when I was small.
Mum wanted us to integrate.
Yes, I can see
she really tried to integrate!
Hang on.
Dad. Daddy.
I see the resemblance.
- Well?
- It's simply delicious.
Congratulations, Mustafa.
I'm the one who made it!
Congratulations! It was so good,
I thought it was Mustafa.
No. He can't cook.
She's right.
I can't hold a candle to her.
But after me,
my son's the best.
He should open a restaurant.
Working in a kebab shop
is such a waste.
- Mum, stop it.
- It's true.
Don't abandon your dreams
at the first problem.
It isn't my fault.
I've seen 10 banks.
They all refused.
Just ask Mohamed. He saw.
You want to open a restaurant?
Yes. But not a caff.
The 1st gastronomic
halal restaurant in France.
The business!
That's right, halal.
Are you serious?
I know what it is.
Ritual slaughter.
Halal. Of course.
A little...
All right.
I can help
with the financing application.
- Seriously?
- Absolutely.
I know the basics.
Interested?
- Absolutely.
- Let's meet and discuss it, OK?
- Sure!
- What documents d'you have?
I've put together
a whole dossier.
Your ketchup is really hot.
Listen to him!
He thinks the harissa's ketchup.
Don't get mad, Julien.
It's for the club, honey.
I love you.
See you tomorrow.
OK. But it's a drag.
I'd rather you were with me.
Are you sure, darling?
- Don't barge in!
- Why not answer me?
Mind your own business.
Coming out with us tonight?
- Where?
- The Diamond horror party.
The only place that'll let
your ugly mug in.
Everyone says we look alike.
It's me!
The intellectual pig.
I'm really sorry about the boxing.
It's OK.
Coming with us?
Excuse me.
Ah, no. Sorry!
Excuse me.
No.
Excuse me.
- Sabrina, come with me!
- What do you want?
Please come with me.
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere!
Get out of here!
You jerk!
Come here, you.
Who the fuck are you?
Come on.
Ah, no, Julien...
and other French guys,
I'm done with them.
I'm telling you, the next guy...
For life!
If I told you, for instance,
I was called... Arnaud.
What a crap name!
What a shitty name!
That's as dumb
as if I told you...
I was a cop.
He's from Marseille.
He's a big shot.
Mohamed Bouchouche,
organized crime.
No convictions.
Main business is coke trafficking.
He deals with
the Colombian cartels.
That's bullshit.
Why would a guy like him
be in the 'hood?
Why would he work
with that bunch of losers?
Stop.
Take a break.
All right, honey?
What was that for?
- What's wrong with you?
- What's wrong?
You little whore!
I'll rip your eyes out.
What?
The Devil was me.
Let me explain.
I didn't know it was a guy.
A guy? It was a guy
kneeling in front of you?
- Are you queer?
- I was off my face.
Why was a guy
giving you a blowjob?
Who gives a toss?
I was just aroused.
- It could've been a gorilla.
- A gorilla?
- Or a goat.
- A goat?
You're comparing me
to a gorilla and a goat?
You're a pervert.
Keep away from me.
- Forget me!
- Honey!
Punch the bag!
Jeremy, speedball.
Come on, Farid!
A goat? What a jerk!
How did he explain it?
He's ruined everything
because of a blowjob!
You're more likely
to get throat cancer that way
than by smoking a cig.
Are you serious?
Why? Do you smoke a lot?
I've never smoked
a cig in my life.
I quit 2 years ago.
OK, right. Well,
I've changed a few ratios
and corrected some mistakes.
The bank should accept it.
- You seem very confident.
- You're a killer, mate.
- What about the premises?
- In Barbès.
The hairdresser's cousin,
Mahmoud.
- No way!
- What?
He's a scumbag!
You can't trust a Tunisian.
- I'm Tunisian.
- Me too.
- Exactly.
- Hang on, man!
That's not what I mean, but, guys,
he isn't reliable.
Opening a gastronomic restaurant
in Barbès is a bad idea.
Come off it,
Barbès is the Arab neighbourhood!
He's right.
- Of course I'm right.
- Come on!
Come in, gents.
This is it.
- Beautiful, isn't it?
- Sure.
- It definitely has potential.
- You can't be serious!
We can't open a restaurant
in a dump like this.
- And your financial demands?
- The price?
I want to do you a favour.
You're young, motivated.
It's a fantastic project.
400,000 in key money
and 60,000 rent a year.
- See, it's a gift?
- Yeah, a great gift.
Today you're going to have
the deal of your life.
- You're in luck.
- If it's the deal of our life,
we're out of luck.
Are you calling me a crook?
- It's his way of negotiating.
- Negotiating?
- I thought you were serious.
- We are!
- That's why we're off!
- No, we're not going anywhere.
Could I make you an offer?
If we bank on
400,000 euros annual turnover...
You're nuts.
It's good stuff.
With a tenancy-at-will agreement.
If it works,
you can up the rent accordingly.
It could be a gold mine.
Win-win.
You've worn me down.
Guys, I suggest we celebrate.
Hold your horses.
The bank hasn't agreed yet.
If it doesn't, we're screwed.
The bank will agree, no problem.
Hang on!
- Where's my dosh?
- Leave them to it.
- Why haven't you called?
- I was going to.
Shut it.
- Your big-shot pal doesn't scare me.
- I don't have one!
I don't give a fuck
about his reputation.
He can call
his Colombian mates!
You've got a week
to come up with my cash.
- Got that?
- OK.
And don't forget,
I'm the boss around here.
You OK?
She's well nice, your friend.
Give me her number.
Try calling 999.
- Doesn't she like Arabs?
- Not losers like you!
Don't get carried away.
A letter for you.
From the bank.
Go on!
Well?
Fuck, it's yes.
It's gonna rain zeyo!
Zeyo = dosh
It's thanks to Mohamed.
His application was wicked.
The guy's a killer.
I'm so happy, bro.
"A digital rectal exam
to check the prostate.
"A finger is inserted
in the patient's rectum."
Oh, fuck!
- Is that interesting?
- You OK, Sabrina?
- Fine. And you?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing tonight?
- Nothing at all.
How about dinner?
Yes. OK, of course.
- 8pm at the Punjab, OK?
- Of course. The Punjab.
See you later.
- Congrats.
- Thanks, sis. Cool!
Did Sabrina tell you?
Hang on!
Hey! Relax, dude.
- It's only been approved.
- Yes, but I'd given up hope.
Stop!
Fucking hell!
Good news?
Yes. I've signed with the Tunisian.
Already? We don't have a cent
and nothing's been signed.
I had no choice,
someone else was interested.
You're well smart!
- What's the occasion?
- Guess.
You've got a date.
Who is she?
- I don't know.
- Tell me her name.
When we met,
there was a spark between us
and so we arranged a date.
Who is she?
A local girl?
The girl I'm seeing
is a decent girl.
A decent girl?
Then she can't be local!
- What?
- It's Sabrina.
What?
Don't take me for a jerk.
It's Sabrina.
No, it isn't!
OK, it's Sabrina.
Don't say a word.
OK, don't worry.
She's a big girl, Sabrina.
A massive pair.
Hey, when she's on all fours,
with her zouk sticking out,
give her one from me!
Easy, Mus.
You're too much.
He's gonna do a slut
and I can't be happy for him?
Seriously though.
- She's a slut, isn't she?
- Yes and no. Yes.
Djamila, I've got my date
with Sabrina.
I want to say something
nice to her in Arabic.
How would you say
"You're the prettiest girl in Paris"?
Do you speak Arabic, Mohamed?
Chouia, a bit.
Sorry?
"You're as pretty as a truck"
That's original!
No one's ever said that.
I guess I'm the first, then.
Thanks to Mohamed,
the boys got their bank loan.
Really?
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
An agreement in principle.
We mustn't get carried away.
He's modest too.
I don't mean to pry, Mohamed,
but do you have a girlfriend?
That's incredible.
- It certainly is.
- Incredible.
I'll be right back.
Charming, isn't he?
Charming.
Thanks for introducing us.
When he comes back,
I'll leave you to it.
I'm done.
Mind out.
- Speak to me in Arabic.
- What?
Say something to me in Arabic.
- Are you all right?
- Yes. Go on.
No. Stop that!
- Don't you find me attractive?
- That isn't the point.
- It's OK, then.
- Get off!
What's this?
- Who's Arnaud?
- Give it here.
Who's Arnaud?
He's a friend.
Are you taking the piss?
No. He was a childhood friend.
Come on, let's go.
- What's going on?
- He's queer.
- What?
- He's queer.
Him too?
How was last night?
Very good. Very, very good.
Did you have her or not?
Yes. I had her good and proper.
Come on, turn left, loser!
He's getting too confident!
Right, who is she?
None of your business.
Just trust me.
I'll find out sooner or later.
It's Julie.
See?
- Julie, my sister's colleague?
- Yes.
You're a right man-whore.
Maybe. I dunno.
I've calmed down,
but in the past, I was no angel.
If it's serious with the next girl,
I'll marry her.
But an Arab girl.
We'll be on the same wavelength.
- That's important.
- Sure it is.
Fuck! It's relaxing
to talk about sex.
At the same time,
I'm well stressed.
- If they say no, we're fucked.
- Don't worry.
It'll be fine.
Everything's ready.
I just need to know something...
Remember how you were
at Berthier Bank?
It'd be good if you weren't so...
See?
- Don't worry.
- I am worrying.
I'll be really calm, mate.
- You're capable?
- Sure I am.
Bastard, the limit is 30!
Go fuck yourself!
What's his problem?
Excellent. Being ambitious
is good in business.
Just one thing.
Your application doesn't mention
alcoholic beverages.
In an establishment like yours,
the profit margin on alcohol
isn't insignificant.
As it's a halal restaurant,
no alcohol will be served.
- What's all this about?
- Let me explain.
- Doesn't he know it's halal?
- Yes, kind of.
- I'm not ashamed of what I am.
- It isn't about that.
So it's a halal restaurant.
It's just a misunderstanding.
It doesn't change a thing.
Our aim is to attract
a Muslim clientele
that does not yet have
this sort of service.
I've nothing against Islam,
but in your application,
you didn't specify
your restaurant would be halal.
You should look for funding
within the community,
as the mosques do.
Why not Al-Qaeda?
- Have you read my CV?
- Of course.
I've worked with the best chefs.
I won the Young Chefs Competition.
Ever heard of it?
It's the most prestigious.
What's the problem?
Calm down.
I'm not doubting your skill.
The recession means
my bank must prioritize.
And I must admit
that halal restaurants
are not one of our priorities.
I think it's best
if we cut short this meeting.
Well, I don't!
Stay where you are.
- Your arguments are crap!
- Please calm down your friend.
Sorry, I've messed up.
It's all right, Mustafa,
because he's...
a racist son-of-a-bitch!
Bloody racist!
Racist!
Wanker!
Return the money
Ben Ali stole from the Tunisian!
Ben Ali = Dictator on holiday
Proud to be Tunisian!
Who are the Tunisians?
We are!
Security!
Ben Ali, you bastard
Ben Ali
Hi, Mustafa.
Hi, Mus.
You OK?
That's the last time
you wear that thing. OK?
People have remarked on it.
Honestly, he's right.
You're doing our heads in
with your revolution.
You haven't won the World Cup.
All right, I'll take it off!
- What's that?
- What?
What's that?
A jar of mayonnaise.
A jar of mayonnaise?
A jar of mayonnaise
next to the cooker?
Mohamed,
it'll land someone in hospital.
You want to poison people?
How many times have I told you
to put it in the fucking fridge?
You've told me a few times...
Drop the hangdog look!
You're doing my head in.
Easy, Mus.
You can all go fuck yourselves!
You're breaking my balls!
Out the way!
- What's up with Mus?
- It's because of the bank.
What about it?
They didn't agree the loan.
We're stuck.
It's kind of my fault.
Fucking hell!
You OK?
Sorry about earlier.
You gave me hope again.
Give it a break.
I still believe in your talent.
What's this?
Where'd you get it?
It was for my Hajj.
- Your what?
- My Hajj.
The pilgrimage to Mecca,
the 5th pillar of Islam.
Every good Muslim must do it
if he can afford to.
- The Hajj?
- The Hajj, yeah.
I can't accept this, bro. Here.
No. I have my whole life
to do the Hajj.
We need the cash now
to start on the renovation.
It might not be enough,
but we're going places.
So when do we start?
Thanks, Mohamed.
What time do you call this?
Just go home!
I haven't been scratching
my balls all day!
I've been using my grey cells.
- Who are these guys?
- They're DIY kings.
They can turn their hand
to anything.
And they're cheap.
That means they're illegal
and we pay them cash.
We can't do this alone!
It's bad to exploit
people's suffering.
What about ghetto solidarity?
You'd rather
they went through the bins?
He's got 14 kids to feed.
14! You should see them.
They've got swollen bellies,
big bulging eyes.
The cops chased this guy
and he lost his arm.
Gentlemen, please.
We have children, family.
Work to feed our children.
You OK, me not.
Me, painting, work,
serve you, sir.
Know what this reminds me of?
My parents when they arrived here.
I didn't get what he said.
It's a good job
it's his left hand...
Here, this is for the gear.
And this is the list of
what you need to buy.
You're right, we do need help.
Sort things with the Roms.
You're taking the piss.
- A real gem.
- What's that heap of shit?
An electricity meter.
It isn't powerful enough!
It's 200 euros.
Do you want it or not?
You don't...
Well?
For 50, I'll take it.
Want me to drop
my trousers too?
You Arabs always haggle.
Take it for 200 euros
or don't take it.
Hey, does 2 plus 2
still make 3 for you?
It's just I have to cough up
for my mum's diabetes.
If that's the reason,
it's cool for this time.
But don't try it again.
Chouf, my sister.
What do you think?
I think she's wet.
As she's been in the pool,
she's a bit wet.
I know she's got a guy.
Really?
But I can't tie her to the radiator.
Your sister's a really good girl.
Nothing like those sluts
we see in clubs.
- If only she were like yours.
- Why?
With a fatty, there's no hassle.
It's true.
OK, coming.
Wait here. I'll be gone an hour.
Stay where you are.
Keep an eye on her.
Will do.
If anyone goes near her, I'll...
- Yes!
- No way.
Djalil will see.
Don't worry,
he's gone out.
Yes! Just relax.
It's haram what we're doing.
Don't worry,
the condom's halal.
We're not getting anywhere.
"How poor are the people
who have no patience."
Hamlet. William Shakespeare.
Ring any bells?
"Cursed be time.
"The most precious gift it offers,
it takes away.
Al Mutamid ibn Abbad.
Take that, mate.
You made that up!
He's the most famous guy
in the Middle East.
Mohamed? Anyone here?
I'm not here.
- Why? She's your girl.
- Please.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Julie.
- Mustafa.
Isn't Mohamed here?
I haven't seen him today.
Pity.
Yes, it is a pity.
Maybe I could give him
a message from you?
Yes. If you wouldn't mind,
tell him I'm sorry
about the other night.
He'll understand.
Right...
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Wait!
May I walk you to your car?
It bothers me to let
a pretty girl like you...
Yes. All right.
Do you speak Arabic?
Yes, go on.
Louder!
Louder! That's it!
That's it!
Fuck me like an Arab.
Go on!
Fuck me, you raghead!
Fuck me,
I'm fucking the police!
It's Sabrina.
All right?
It's just that the light is...
- Er, how are you?
- Fine.
- Isn't Mustafa here?
- He had something to do.
- I brought you your dinner.
- That's sweet of you.
Thanks a lot.
"We're all a bit queer"
It'll come off in the wash.
- Whatever you're into. Here.
- Thanks.
It's too much just for me.
Won't you eat with me?
31, 30,
29, 28,
27...
That'll do.
Open your eyes.
It's beautiful.
Bon appétit.
- Is this for me?
- Yes.
Thanks.
Sabrina,
I've something to confess.
Really?
You don't have to.
We all have secrets.
Yes, but...
I can't keep it to myself anymore.
If it'll be a relief for you...
I'll keep quiet.
I'm in love with a girl.
With a girl?
You're in love with a girl?
Yes, I know who I'm in love with.
Do I know her?
I do know her.
Wait, let me think.
I'm going to guess.
Is her name Bachir?
Hey, Bachir isn't a girl's name!
You never know.
Is she local?
She's local?
- How long have you been together?
- The thing is...
we're not together... yet.
And she doesn't know I love her.
That's mad.
Why haven't you told her?
Because I don't know
how she feels about me.
What are her eyes like?
Her eyes are brown.
Like Algerian dates.
And her hair?
Black as khol.
How old is she?
She's 24.
- Like...
- Like me.
Dating my brother's friends
isn't really my thing.
And dating girls in uniform
isn't my style either.
Hang on, there's a funny smell.
- I can smell burning.
- Oh my God!
- It's on fire!
- Oh, my God!
I just want to die.
You gave us a scare, pal.
Committing suicide is haram.
Sorry, guys, the meter was faulty.
I'm so mad at myself.
We've all forgiven you.
Friendship isn't negotiable.
You weren't to know
they'd installed faulty gear.
You're family, guys.
- Right, young man...
- Hello.
Hello! Feeling better?
He can get up.
With the laxatives he swallowed,
things'll move fast.
Just mind what you eat
for a few days.
With the pads,
you should be OK.
- Have a nice day now!
- Goodbye. Thanks.
- I almost died, guys.
- What the hell is this?
Why didn't you call me?
You mustn't keep things in.
Isn't that Nawel
with Mohamed Bouchouche?
- Shut your mouth.
- What?
Cousin.
It's nice of you to come.
With what you owe me,
I don't want you to croak.
Had any visitors?
Mustafa, Mohamed and Rachid
came to see me earlier.
Is that all?
- Are you taking the piss?
- Let me explain.
Why are you lying?
I swear on my mum's life
I wanted to tell you.
I'm just a shit. Kill me.
Calm down. Tell me,
since when has Nawel
been dating Bouchouche?
Bouchouche? I don't know.
He's been hovering around her.
- Reckon it's serious?
- I don't know.
Mohamed's a straightforward guy.
I can put pressure on him.
- Forget it.
- Are you sure?
I said forget it.
I wanted to talk business.
I've got a great plan.
He wants to do business with me?
You couldn't sell
an old lollipop to a blind man!
Mohamed and Mustafa
are on board.
- Go on.
- It's hard to explain.
- You should talk to them.
- Tell them to come see me.
Thanks, cousin.
- Get some rest.
- Will do.
Could you hand me a pad?
Or it'll be messy. Quick!
Hurry up! Oh fuck!
I shouldn't have listened to you.
Do you want a restaurant or not?
Don't talk to me like that!
- It burnt down because of you.
- It wasn't my fault.
The Roms installed the meter
back to front.
No! The inquiry proved
the bloody meter was faulty.
- You lined your pockets too.
- Me?
- Not now!
- He's a pain.
You both are.
What's he doing?
Ready?
No, you two wait here.
No. You come with me.
Fuck.
I know who you are.
I saw your gun
when I followed you in the 'hood.
I know everything.
There's room for 2 here.
We can do business.
You're after a partner?
- Yes, I am.
- How much do you need?
100 grand.
We're gonna clean up.
When?
Soon.
Once we find the right guys,
things will move fast.
Stay there.
Where are you going?
Want to count it?
No, it's OK.
50, 100, 100,00.
100 grand.
But, as for my identity...
best to keep it to yourself.
- It could mess up the business.
- It's safe with me.
By the way,
planning on getting married?
Get... Yes. Well, I think so.
That's the idea.
It's better for the girl.
In the 'hood, people talk.
She's a decent girl.
She's a great girl.
Don't worry, it's serious.
I'm really in love.
I hope so.
Don't worry.
Hello, Djami?
Yes, Arnaud.
We have to meet.
I've something important
to tell you.
Oh, my dear Arnaud!
- How's this for size?
- Perfect.
- What's going in?
- I was wrong.
About what?
Mr Dubois really is your dad.
That's impossible.
The test is 100% reliable.
No, it isn't true.
You're lying.
I'm lying?
What's this, then?
Fucking hell!
Fuck, I'm not Arab. Shit!
I'm not Arab.
This is a bloody disaster!
Stop.
Stop talking rubbish.
I told you the other day.
Find yourself a young girl
of your class,
and your problems will vanish.
So, Arab, walou?
Walou, Arab.
- Not even a bit?
- Not even a bit.
Mum, how do I look?
Fabulous, my girl.
Like a princess.
That's your Prince Charming
with his big camel!
You're beautiful.
Nice carriage.
Thank you.
Someone lent it to me.
Good evening.
I'm Edouard, your satnav.
We are 20km
from your destination.
The outside temperature
is 28 degrees centigrade.
This is wild.
How did you get this?
- I'm loaded.
- Is that so?
- I'm well rich.
- And handsome and smart.
People say I'm not bad.
Come here.
Sabrina, I wanted...
- Wait a second.
- What?
I've something important
to tell you.
Sabrina, you're the love of my life.
I want to marry you.
I've never met
such a funny bloke.
I mean it,
I want to marry you.
Wait! I've something else
important to say,
or even more important.
Go on.
I'm not who you think I am.
It's OK with me.
You can love men,
then love a woman.
At 16, I kissed a girl.
I've never loved men!
- It's the happiest day of my life.
- Is that a yes?
Our first child will be a boy.
We'll call him Mohamed.
Mohamed like me.
No. Like Muhammad Ali.
Wait, Sabrina! Your virginity...
Not before marriage!
I'm thirsty.
- I'll go, then.
- Yeah, do.
Now?
Dad, Mum, salam alikoum.
- Shouldn't you be in Deauville?
- We sold the villa in Deauville.
This year we celebrated
your father's birthday in Paris.
Happy birthday, Dad!
What kind of language is that?
Grab your things!
My mate's parents are home.
That's it. This way.
Open this door,
go out and you'll come to a gate.
There's a switch on the left.
I'll call a cab.
Aren't you coming?
I have calm them down
or they'll call the cops.
We have to do things properly.
We'll throw a great party.
The whole neighbourhood
will remember it.
No. Come with your parents
to my parents'.
An official proposal,
they'd like that.
- When?
- Next week, for Eid.
My mum celebrated
a few weeks ago.
No. Eid al-Adha. The sheep.
- How many Eids do you have?
- Are you serious?
Sorry, I'm a bit tired.
That's stressing me.
Look, the truth is,
my mother's vegetarian.
She can eat chickpeas.
No! I'm talking rubbish.
My mum is on a pilgrimage
in Mecca.
I dropped her off
two weeks ago.
Hajj was a month ago!
I get it. You had your fun.
There's no hope.
You're like the others.
Wait! OK, sorry.
My mother and I will come
and see your family, OK?
Are you happy now?
Everything I've done,
I've done for you.
To be sure
there'd be no problem
with your inheritance.
Or I'd never have done the test.
You can't say we look alike.
You had doubts?
Well, didn't you?
I've always loved you as my son.
Can you help me?
Give this to Mustafa.
- You OK?
- Fine, yeah.
Olives.
Can I take these?
Why did you lie to me?
I never lied to you.
Nothing happened
between Julie and you.
She's lying, is she?
I didn't dare tell you the truth.
I'm sorry.
It's OK.
I won't tell anyone.
Thanks a lot.
But, from today,
you're with my sister.
If I see you pick up a guy,
I'll beat you up.
Stop saying I'm queer!
I'm not gay, Mustafa.
Mohamed, don't try that with me.
OK. I'll behave myself.
Happy now?
See? When you put
your mind to it...
Mohamed, my son!
Come into my room!
We have to talk!
You know this is
an important day for the family.
And for you too.
The Hajj. I know.
I've been preparing for this,
but I must admit it isn't easy.
It isn't easy for any man
who's taking a wife.
Every man must be halal,
mustn't he?
It's important.
I hope you'll be happy together
and you'll make me
lots and lots of grandchildren.
You can tell me.
- I'm ready.
- What are you doing?
Put that away.
Sorry?
You're mad!
Is that it?
It was...
God forgive us!
I can't do Ramadan.
I tried, but it's impossible
because of my figure.
Besides, 30 days is too long.
It's hard.
My weight yoyos.
Mustafa, help me.
Mohamed, give me your plate.
You're in for a treat!
He's getting it, is he?
Don't you sulk.
It's the same every year.
They argue over the head.
- I'm not very hungry.
- Eat it or I'll be upset.
It's for you.
Very good bismillah.
- It's quite meaty.
- Hang on!
Start with the eyes,
they're the best bit.
Here goes!
Go on.
Isn't it delicious?
Really delicious.
He's a good boy.
I'm so happy
my daughter's marrying a Muslim.
It's better for the children
when you share the same values.
That's for sure.
And you, Sabrina,
have you always dated Arabs?
Mum, please.
It's OK. I can answer.
I was seeing a boy
called Julien. So what?
You went out with him?
- I suspected as much!
- Calm down.
- "Julien" isn't very Muslim.
- No, but he's a plumber.
Selim, shut up!
But it's true.
I prefer sins to hypocrisy.
With all due respect,
you're going too far.
- I'll sleep with who I like.
- Mind your words!
Don't talk like that.
I warned you, Arnaud.
I told you at the start
that marrying an Arab girl
is no end of trouble.
- Who's Arnaud?
- Arnaud?
Tell her the truth.
- Get out, Djamila.
- No! Tell her the truth.
Mohamed, who's Arnaud?
Come on!
Arnaud is me.
My name's Arnaud Dubois.
My dad's called Gérard.
My mum's name is Catherine.
I lied to you.
Forgive me, Sabrina.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I'm sorry.
What the hell is this?
Until last week,
I thought I was Arab too.
My dad was called SaÏd.
But no.
Gérard did a paternity test.
And I am his son.
There. I was Arab.
I no longer am.
Why did you do this?
I was afraid
you would reject me.
I haven't always told the truth,
but my feelings were sincere.
Stop! Bloody well stop!
Stop, OK?
I don't know Arnaud.
I love Mohamed.
You don't get it!
Let go of me!
Get off!
If I'd known,
you wouldn't be here!
Oh, yeah?
So how come I'm here?
- That's different.
- It's different?
Because at night
you ask me to put on the siren?
You're all pissing me off!
Get out, witch.
Get out!
Of course I'll go.
May God curse you,
you bunch of hypocrites!
Bloody hypocrites.
I'm going to hit her.
Missed!
Dubois, my arse!
Mohamed Bouchouche, is it?
I agreed because I thought
you were Mohamed Bouchouche,
the Colombians' mate.
No one fucks with me!
You've got a week
to give me back my dosh.
And don't you ever
go near my sister again.
Look at that shit!
Hi.
What happened?
It was Djalil.
He gave me a beating.
He knows who I am.
What d'you mean?
It all came out at Eid.
Everyone knows
my name isn't Bouchouche.
What is it, then?
Arnaud Dubois.
- Don't talk crap!
- It isn't crap.
Look, my parents.
Where did you get your mug?
Don't take the piss.
Frogs don't usually
adopt Arabs, but Chinese kids
because they're good students.
But I'm not adopted.
What does Djalil want from you?
He wants his money back.
Why?
He thought he'd given it
to someone else.
It makes no difference.
It does for him.
Fuck!
How are we going
to pay him back?
It isn't your problem,
it's my problem.
- His cash went into the restaurant.
- If he's after me,
he'll leave you alone, OK?
If it's a success,
we'll make money
and I'll pay him back.
I'm off.
Wait!
Do you mind if
I call you Mohamed?
I don't care if you're not Arab,
but "Arnaud" is dodgy.
I swear,
you're scary sometimes.
Really scary.
Bye, Mohamed.
Heard from Mohamed?
No. I haven't seen him
for 2 weeks.
No one knows where he is.
I feel really bad
he's missing the opening.
The restaurant exists
thanks to him.
It's a sad business.
What can we do for him?
I dunno.
Djalil refuses to listen.
He's well mad.
He had till last week
to pay him back.
If he finds him,
he's capable of killing him.
Fuck.
Mohamed doesn't deserve this.
This is Sabrina's voicemail.
Leave a message.
Arnaud, give up
or I'll send the squad!
Mohamed, let me in.
It's Hassen.
- Hassen, it's you?
- Yes. Quick, let me in!
- How did you find me?
- Djalil is in the area.
Let's get out of here!
- Here, you'll need this.
- Where'd you get it?
You left it at my place.
- You're nuts.
- Take it!
It's you or him!
Listen, he won't hesitate.
Take it.
- I can't do that.
- You'll shoot yourself! There.
- Let go!
- Shoot!
I can't!
- Fuck!
- You said it wasn't loaded!
Well, maybe a bullet
was stuck in it.
Fuck!
They've killed him.
Bastard!
You scared us.
It just skimmed my head.
- What the fuck!?
- Chill, you.
- What is this?
- It's a joke.
You don't owe Djalil a cent.
- How come?
- You don't owe him anything.
You really took the piss
with your Arnaud crap,
but we couldn't drop you.
Rachid sold his kebab shop.
You don't owe Scarface.
Yeah, I sold it to
that jerk Emre.
So we're partners now.
Thanks, family.
I mean it. Family's cool.
Anyone seen Sabrina?
Everyone's forgiven you,
but with Sabrina...
it's gonna be tough, bro.
I want to talk to you.
Move along, sir.
Sabrina, please,
come out... of that thing.
Please, I want to talk to you.
Five minutes.
What's five minutes?
You're being a pain.
Let go of the intercom
or I'll send a team out.
Sabrina,
if you don't love me,
let them find me here.
"Tis better to lose my life
through their hatred
"than wait for death
without being loved by you."
William Shakespeare.
Five minutes.
Can you hear me, Sabrina?
Sabrina, I've always known
you were the one.
As soon as I set eyes on you.
"Had my heart truly loved
"until then?
"Say no,
"my eyes,
"for I had never seen true beauty
"until that night."
That's beautiful.
Will you marry me?
Hey, Fernandez!
What's this, a web chat?
Get lost
or I'll throw you in a cell!
Jerk!
Sabrina, respect me...
like I respect you.
William Shakespeare.
Only kidding!
Sabrina, let me in!
Fuck! That's it, you pig!
Let's get him.
Grab him, cuff him
and bring him in here.
Guys, let's go!
Grab some tissues.
I live round the corner!
I'll go home.
Let go of me.
Get off!
Get off me! Ow!
My name's Arnaud Dubois.
And I'm Seb.
Seb Mami!
Stop taking the piss, you!
We're tired.
We want to go home.
On the Koran of Mecca,
my name's Arnaud Dubois.
Are these for your little fists?
Give them back!
You're fucking pissed!
And you've no ID!
That's a lot for a raghead!
I'm from Le Vésinet.
I'm Arnaud Dubois.
My father's a banker.
He's the boss of Berthier Bank.
I'm French.
He's funny, huh?
And that's La Marseillaise, is it?
Cheer up, pal!
You've won a free trip!
Mohamed! What a surprise!
What you doing here?
- Oh, Lotfi.
- Your name is Mohamed.
It isn't Mohamed.
You're making a mistake!
It's pointless, Momo.
Tell the truth.
Shut it, you!
It's a bit much
this miles business!
Shut it, you!
It's perfectly legal.
The accompanying officer
can use illegals' miles.
End of story.
I don't make the laws!
Everyone takes advantage.
Look around you.
Everyone takes advantage
of the fucking system.
Fuck!
Isn't this the Rio flight?
Get off! Let go of me!
- Let go of me!
- Shut it.
My name's Arnaud Dubois!
- Shut it.
- You shut it!
I'm from Le Vésinet!
Ile-de-France!
Where'd you find these?
I'll get him!
Don't worry, Mohamed.
As soon as we're back home,
I know a great smuggling network.
We'll come straight back.
Don't you worry.
Going home, Arnaud?
What are you doing here?
Yeah, I was feeling homesick.
Want to come?
If the man I love refuses,
I'd love to.
Which hotel are you in?
I don't have one,
just a Tuareg tent.
We'll be able to move around.
You've always been different, huh?
Here. Don't lose them this time.
We might need them.
For Mohamed.
What if it's a girl?
We freeze her
and wait for a boy.
Bravo!
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Know how many applications
I approved today?
Seventeen.
I told you,
the 'hood's a gold mine.
Thanks for trusting me.
- You're pretty good.
- Thanks.
For an Arab.
Congratulations!
- I'm really proud!
- All right, man?
- May I?
- Sure!
It moved.
- Does the son-of-a-bitch have a dad?
- It's a girl, Djalil.
- What?
- It's a girl.
Hold this.
- How do you know?
- I asked.
It's definitely a girl.
- How are you?
- You OK, Rachid?
Yeah, bro!
- OK?
- Congrats!
- Thanks.
- You got a star?
Yeah, I did.
It's awesome.
Come see Auntie Djamila.
Did you get the...
results?
You can't be serious!
You're a pain, bro.
If Sabrina finds out you did
a paternity test, she'll kill you.
Don't touch him!
Your hands are dirty.
- Sorry, but look at his face.
- What about it?
Look at his blue eyes.
- Where did he get those eyes?
- You know, sometimes...
Maybe his grandpa.
I don't know.
What's his name?
Mohamed...
Dubois.
Isn't it, poppet?
Yes, it is!
Subtitles: Eclair Media