Mistress (1992) - full transcript

A comedy about a screenwriter (Wuhl) whose old movie script is read by a producer (Landau) and the search for financial backers begins. But it seems that each money source (Aiello, DeNiro, Wallach) has his own mistress that he wants put into the film. Gradually, the screenwriter is forced to make changes to his script to accommodate these backers until he finally sees no semblance of his original ideas in the writing.

It's called
days gone by.

Days gone by?

We made that years ago.

You're kidding.

No, I'm not.

It was called
flesh tone.

Oh, yeah.

It was a terrific film.

Thank you.

Ah, let's see
what we got here.

O.k.



I understand that.

I'm trying
to get a hold of him.

Doesn't he have
an agent?

Agent? No.

Well, how the hell
do you contact him?

Well, we don't
contact him.

It's a cult.
We're not allowed
to contact up there.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Hello.

Hello?

Is this
Marvin landisman?



Yes.

Marvin,
this is Jack roth.

Uh-huh.

You know, Marvin,

strange things happen
in this business.

Maybe that's why
I love it so much.

I was cleaning out
my files last night,

and I came across
a script of yours.

I reread it,
and I liked it.

I really liked it.

Marvin?

What script?

It's called
the darkness
and the light.

I haven't given out
that script in years.

Well, you know what?

It's more timely
than ever.

Um, would you hold on
a second, please?

Sure.

I'm sorry,
who are you again?

Jack roth.

Didn't I meet you
at the commissary
at universal?

Oh, yeah.

Marvin,

your script's
a knockout.

In fact,
I think I know

where we can
get it made.

You interested?

Look, I wrote...
I wrote that script

for me to direct, so...

Sure.

Sure. All the better.

What say we
get together tomorrow

and talk about it.

How about lunch?

O.k.

Would you mind
meeting me at Shelby's?

I know it's not
the greatest food,

but it's convenient.

Which one?

The one on 3rd.
How about 1:00?

And now
we light a match...

And presto.

Hold it. Hold it.

What's wrong?

This is no good.

What isn't?

You can see here.

It didn't poof.

It's supposed to poof
with a big flame.

O.k., put some more
Brandy on it.

No, there's...

ooh, there's plenty
of Brandy on this one.

I got to be
out of here
by 12:30.

What about
lighter fluid?

Lighter fluid
will ruin the pan.

O.k. O.K.

Hans, all right.

O.k. I've had it.

Marvin?

Jack.

It's wonderful
to see you.

You haven't
changed a bit.

You look great.

Come on. I got
a table in the back.

Normally I like to meet
somewhere else,

but since
I was at Paramount,

I figured what the hell.

The food's not half bad.

There's somebody here
I'd like you to meet.

This is Stuart stratland,
a very talented
young writer.

Nice to meet you,
Marvin.

If you don't mind,
I figured Stuart
would sit in.

No, that's o.K. Sure.

Good.

So, come on, guys.
What are you
going to have?

Marvin,
order something good.

The steak sandwich
isn't bad.

Honey, what's good?
These men are very hungry.

Same old thing.

The Turkey's on special.

Is that good?
Do you like Turkey?

Turkey's all right.

Fine. I'll have
the Turkey sandwich.

I'll have
a bacon cheeseburger,
onion rings,

and a large coke.

I'll have the...
I had a late breakfast.

I'll just have a salad.

They put a lot
of shrimp on it?

Yeah.

Tell the chef

to really
heap the shrimp on.

O.k.

Thanks.

So...

I remember
at universal there
was a lot of good talk

about that picture
of yours.

Too bad about
what happened.

Yeah, well, that was
a long time ago.

So, have you done
any directing since?

Uh, lately
I've been working
in video.

Mtv?

No, uh,

instructional cassettes
for the home market.

Oh.
Uh-huh.

You know,
that script of yours

has all the right
elements, I mean...

It's got good characters
and a terrific story.

I don't know
if you agree with me,

but story is
the most important
script element.

Well, yeah, I do agree.
Story is very important.

You know,
I liked it so much,

I reread it last night
after we talked.

It was a real pleasure.

It's got great parts
for actors.

It's...it's modern,
it's timely.

What the hell more
could you ask for?

Thanks.
I worked hard to get
the right balance.

That's a good way
to put it, Marvin.

It is balanced.

You may not agree,
but it does
get heavy in places.

Well, the painter
kills himself.

That's what I mean.
The whole thing
is very heavy.

Well, suicide
is a dark subject.

Depends on
how it's handled.

Stuart here's
very talented.

He wrote a terrific
science fiction thing.

The backer I've got
wants to do
a smaller film,

something more artistic.

I'm not sure they'll
go for a script
about suicide.

It's not about suicide.

It's about
an artist's courage.

He's driven
to kill himself.
I won't change that.

Naturally.
I'm not asking you
to change that.

It's an important element.
I find it very moving,

but maybe
it could be handled
a little differently.

Does he have
to kill himself?

Couldn't he just
leave town at the end?

The whole point is
that he's destroyed
by society.

No, he can't just leave.

What if he was killed
in an accident?

Stuart had
the same teachers as
Spielberg at Cal state.

Marvin, you're
in the driver's seat,

but Stuart
has some very,
very interesting ideas.

I figured
that you guys could,

you know, sit down,

you know, look at it.

I could have
made this film
years ago

if I wanted to play
footsie-wootsie.

Marvin, we're
just talking here.

I knew it.

I'm not
changing one word!

I don't need
to make this film,

and I don't need
your sandwich.

Let's...let's just
forget it, o.K.?

Jesus, I love
your passion.
It's so refreshing.

I was at universal
years ago

when Nick ray
threw a projector
out of a window.

This is what
a good director
has to have, Stuart.

I'm just here
to be used.

Cheeseburger...

Oh, that's uh...

Turkey...

And shrimp...

And the ketchup,

and I'll bring your coke.

Maybe I am a little
too apprehensive,

but it's because

I want to get
this picture made, Marvin.

Maybe I'm being
too cautious.

Why don't you meet
my money guy?

My gut tells me
he'll like you.

He's going
to finance the film?

Very interesting guy.
He's a real player,

and he's got this girl.
I think she's terrific.

She really has something.

She's cute as a button,
but decide for yourself.

Decide what?

He wants her
in the movie.

I have
to give her a role?

A role?

Depends on what
you mean by a role.

He wants a little something
to get her career going.

Problem?

Yeah. This thing
with the girlfriend...

Marvin,
I need to make
a good picture.

If she isn't
right for the part,

I won't let you cast her.

Hello.

Marvin?

Oh, hi. Rachel.

Yeah. Your wife.
Remember?

Didn't sound
like you.

You're so up.

I was just eating
a sandwich.

I'm in the subway,
so we'll talk fast.

I'm going
to the lawyers
to clinch this deal

before Mr. Momolio
changes his mind.

You pulled it off?

I pulled it off.

He'll lease US
the restaurant space
incredibly cheap,

and he's coming in
as a partner.

So it's happening.

Marvin,
the train's coming.

There's a
position opening in
the drama department

at queens college.

They're very
interested in you.

I hear they have
a beautiful
theater there.

We'll have
a great time
in New York.

Here's my train.
Bye. I love you.

I love you, too, honey.

Hey, congratulations.

Darn it.

I don't see
the soup.

There's
too much kasha.

Did they put in
any soup?

It's in there
if you look.

You're lucky
you got served.

Same old place.

Been here forever.
Forever.

I know it's
the same old place.

You're not telling me
something new.

It's Marvin, right?

Right.

Where are you from?

New York.

New York.

Then you
probably don't
remember my store.

I had the biggest
clock store
on the west coast.

Everybody bought
their clocks from me...

people in the business,
your business.

So I know something
about this.

What did you think
of the script?

I didn't read it.

It looked professional,
and Peggy likes it.

It's a terrific script.

Of course you think
it's terrific.

It's your job
to say that.

What are you
going to say,
that it's shit?

George.
Let them talk.

Peggy, darling.

Be quiet.

You make things hard
when you talk.

A businessperson
you're not.

There's not
too much chicken fat
in this soup.

Usually, I don't get
a good bowl of soup

unless I go
to New York.

There's no integrity
in the restaurant
business anymore.

My father says
the same thing.

Your father
is a smart man.

So, what are you
in this team?

I'm sort of associated
with the project.

Stuart had
the same teachers
in college

as Steven Spielberg.

So have a lot
of other people.

Marvin.

Marvin. Right?

Listen.

What part are you
going to give my Peggy

in your film?

Well, uh,
I'm not sure.

I really haven't
thought about it.

I'd like to get
to know her.

There's a part
in your script
that she wants.

What's the name
of the part, Peggy?

Zoey.

Zoey.

Yeah. The girlfriend.
She's so deep.

Yes. Yes.
It's a great part.

It's
a wonderful part.

But there's
another great part,

the part of
the painter's model.

The prostitute?

It's not as big
a part, but...

It isn't the size of
the role that matters.

It's easy
for you to say.

But it's my money,

and she'll play
a big part.

But it's my movie.

I could have done it

with a big
television star
years ago,

but I didn't.

She was wrong
for the role.

Maybe I don't have
to play the girlfriend.

What?

You know, Marilyn
became a big star

after asphalt jungle,

and she only did
one scene.

Sure.

The point is
to be noticed.

Listen to me.

Peggy will do anything
to get into a movie,

but I'm her promoter.

You don't get
any of my money

so that she can play

what you guys call
an important
but tiny part.

I'm a smart guy, too.

George, just let them
talk about it.

So many things
can happen before
a movie's finished.

There's rehearsal,
casting, editing.

The prostitute
could go
from 2 scenes to 20,

stealing
the entire film.

If the prostitute
is the biggest part,

then that's the part
she'll play.

I don't know if she
can play that part
or any part.

Look, look, look.
He's getting upset.

I can't deal
with someone
who gets upset

because I say
what I want.

To me,
it's just business.

The script is very
important to him.

Speak
for yourself.

Guys,
get this together.

I like to communicate
with people,

but the other person
has to be someplace

for me to communicate
with them.

Peggy and I took
the form seminar,
you know.

We were in communicator
classes together.

Don't cast me if
you don't like me.

No. I like you.

Marvin.

You look like
a nice boy.

You're probably
very talented, too,

but it's
my money, huh?

Make a decision
and get back to me.

Andiamo,peggy.

Let's go.

No, no.
You don't have
to get up.

Why did you...

All right.

I'll call you.

Who is he,
saying the script
isn't finished?

I've worked on
that script for years.

Who the fuck is he?

He's a little green.
He made a mistake.

Who the fuck is he?

What does
he even have to do
with this film?

I thought you knew.

No. Why was he even
at this meeting?

Jack, who is he?

You've never heard
of Stuart stratland?

Stuart stratland?

Two academy awards.

He wrote
sound in the river,

death by
any other name.

Yeah. How...
He's so young.

Not him.

That's his son,
Stuart stratland Jr.

He's just
out of college.

His son.

What are we doing
with his son?

I know his father.

He loves this kid.

If we get in trouble
with the script,

he'll help US out.

You know how much
the guy gets?
500,000 easy.

It's like getting
the father for free.

Besides,
this kid wrote

a very funny
Sci-Fi thing
about aliens.

This film is
about people, Jack.

He's trouble.
I don't need him.

Did you hear
what he said
to George?

Yeah. You're
absolutely right.

He was way
out of line.

If you want him out,
he's out.

But George seemed
to like him a lot,

and that could
come in very handy

when we close the deal.

I don't want
to blow this thing
over something minor.

I don't like the way
George tried to bully me.

Oh, that
was terrible.

I'm glad the way
you stood up.

He deserved
to be told off.

I was seething
just listening
to him.

Do you really think
he'll do it?

He's a tough nut.

He's trying to prove
what a big schlong
he's got.

It's all bullshit.

She's getting
restless.

That's why
he came to me.

She likes
your script.

Make her happy,
and we're in.

I can't use her.

Would it hurt
to audition her?

She's not a dog.

I wouldn't mind
getting her alone
in a room.

Why can't she play
the prostitute?

Even if she could,
George won't let her.

We land some sort
of a name

to play the painter,

the little girl
finds out

she's playing
opposite a star,

she'll
take anything.

George will
roll over
and spread-eagle.

Can I do a song?

A song?

There's no singing
in your film,

but there's a lot
of acting in singing.

No. That's
just fine.

Good.

Great,
'cause I've been
working on this song

that I'm supposed
to perform

at this club
in ventura.

Actually, George's
friend's the owner.

And don't worry
about what George
said the other day.

His bite's a lot
worse than his bark.

He really likes you.

He really
likes you a lot.

He just doesn't
understand
US people in art.

This song
works really great

if the speakers
are just
the right distance.

So, have you done
a lot of acting?

Oh, yeah.

I had all the leads
in high school,

but I really didn't
learn anything
until fullerton.

What's fullerton?

Cal state fullerton?

I had
a great teacher...
Mr. Brocker.

He was famous
and on Broadway.

And I did betrayal.

He said
I was very good.

I didn't make
any money
as an actress,

so I became
a waitress
at the lighthouse.

That's
where you sing

while you wait
on tables.

My boss
came on to me,

then I got fired,

then my house
burned down.

That's how
I ended up
with George.

I see.

You want to push
that button for me?

♪ I'm a sex goddess

♪ we think
the sex goddess
has got US ♪

♪ I'm a sex goddess

♪ we think
the sex goddess
has got US ♪

♪ I'm a sexpot

♪ the sexpot
has got US ♪

♪ definitely
has got US hot US ♪

♪ well, i'm
a love goddess... ♪

I can't use her,

even if it
blows the deal.

Go with your instincts.

You're the director.

I'll never force
anything on you.

Besides, she doesn't
want to do it.

What?

George got her
a screen test
for a horror film.

When did
this happen?

Last night.

She was all excited
about it.

Here I am
giving her a chance

to be in
a real film.

If it's
released right,

she's got
a film career.

What is she playing
in this horror film?

A hooker
who gets knifed.

That's really
going to help her.

I tried to talk her
out of it.

Sweet kid.

So, um...

I guess this is it.

Hey. We got
a script.

It needs some work,

but it's basically
in the right direction.

We got a director
with a hard-on
out to here.

How many
classy projects
are there out there?

Honey, we'll order
in a couple of minutes.

I couldn't
sleep last night.

I was going through
the index card
in my head.

I got someone.

There's no question
that he's holding,

not like some pricks
that'll break your balls

and there's
nothing there.

He's got
a girl, too.

Mister rasso...

Hey, how are you?

So you're back, huh?

Paris seems
to agree with you.
Look at that tan.

How was hialeah?

I made a few bucks.

I'll bet you did.
I love that track.
It's fast.

Who do you like
in the fifth?

The fifth?
Dolls of plenty.

So be it.

How's that stewardess?
Still flying around?

She works a couple
days a week, mostly
to Denver and back.

You're lucky
you got to her first,

because I really
liked her.

I got a feeling
about her.

I really think
she's got something.

She been doing
anything lately?

She did a commercial
for a friend of mine
four months ago.

Hardware stores?
It's a tough life.

It sure is.

Give me 100 to win on 5
in the fourth.

Thank you.

5 on 5 to win.

That girl's really
crazy about you.
I can tell you that.

She's a real winner,
carmine.

I don't like
to hear it, Jack.

She wants to marry me
and have a baby.

Can you imagine?

Wonderful!

Are you crazy?
With my background?

Jack, I'm so sick.

I found myself cheating
on her last week.

Really?

Every time she starts
talking about it,

I find myself having to
cheat on her or something.

Christ.

I'm too sick.
I don't deserve her.

She's been sober
for nine months.

Her a.A. Cake's
coming up.

I'll never forgive myself
if I blow it for her.

I got to get a beer.

Carmine...

Sugar, don't forget
the onion rings
and the great slaw.

Can you bring US
some onion rings
and slaw right away?

Thank you.

Movies, huh?

I like movie people.

I used to play tennis
with some

before I almost croaked
from a heart attack.

Movie people are freer.
They do what they want.

They're not afraid
to use their heads.

They don't put up
with the bullshit

dished out by the
assholes of the world.

That's what
my father says.

I never been involved
in a movie before.

It might be fun.

So much blood
in the world,

might as well
have a good time.

Too many people
getting blown apart

before they have
a chance.

Sounds like
it might be fun.

I was in special forces.
I seen a few things.

In 'nam?

And all around it.

It was terrible.

Don't listen
to the bullshit

about not getting a chance
to win that war.

We did every dirty trick
we could think of.

Those little guys still
beat the shit out of US.

I can tell you about
things that happened

that would make your hair
stand on end.

I hid in a tree

while I watched my buddy
get quartered down below.

Anyhow...

The idea of making
an entertaining
little film

is a good one.

What's it about?

You didn't read
the script?

No. I'd rather get it
from the horse's mouth.

Well, um...

It's a story
about a painter.

A painter.

Yeah,
a very special one.

His work has a very deep
effect on people.

It's, uh,
sort of magical.

It, uh,
it changes them.

He can't stop himself
from criticizing things

that he sees are wrong.

He's committed
to the truth,

and, uh, that brings him
both great pain and joy.

Sounds like
a manic-depressive.

I know guys like that.

Is the whole thing
about him?

No, no, there...there's
the gallery owner.

He's interesting.

He's fascinated
by the painter.

He tries to help him,
but then he destroys him.

Aren't there any
women in this film?

Well, sure, sure.
There's the gallery
owner's girlfriend.

Uh, she's a very
special girl.

She's drawn
to the, uh...

To the painter
and his ideas,

and, um,
he's charmed by her.

He...he, uh...

He teaches her,
but, uh...

But then lots
of things happen.

In the end, she goes back
to the gallery owner.

Sounds like
a great plot, huh?

Yes, but there's
also another great
woman's role...

uh, the model.

She's, uh...

She's, uh...
She's a prostitute.

But she's, uh...

Anyhow,
the painter paints her.

And then what?

And then she takes
her money and leaves.

She's a whore?

You mind if I
say something?

Please do.

The prostitute's
the only one

who can see
the painter

for who
he really is.

She doesn't
put up with
the bullshit

dished out by
the assholes
of the world.

The prostitute
has no
illusions.

Yet, in a way,
she is more pure

than anyone
in the film.

That's interesting.
Is he working on
the script, too?

Oh, yeah.

Stuart here studied
with the same teachers
as Spielberg.

Aha! Ooh!

Wow!

All right, all right.
O.K., uh...

So the gallery owner
is, uh...

Ends up with
the girlfriend.

This is fun.

Now, what happens
to the painter?

Does he marry
the prostitute?

Um...something
happens to him.

What?

He...

He passes away.

He dies.

Oh, death.

That's depressing.

No, it's not!

You know
the Phoenix,
carmine?

A rebirth!

Not a depressing
death, no.

See, the gallery
owner

takes over
the painter's
persona

and is finally
able to fulfill
his own dreams.

The painter
becomes
immortal,

and
the two lovers

have been
brought
together.

What a story!

I see.

I see!

So what happens?
How does the guy die?

Suicide.

Oh, Jesus!

Is there any humor
in the film?

Humor?

Oh, yeah, sure.
A lot!

It...

It's sad,
but funny.

You mean kind of like
terms of endearment?

Exactly.
Terms of endearment.

Terms
of endearment.

Boy, was that
a winner.

Yeah, I love comedy.

She's very
good at it.

That's what I do best.

In its own way,
it's very funny.

So, Marvin,
when could we
read the script?

Imminently.

Well, looks like
we got a deal.

All we have to do
is make the script funny.

I spent five years
writing that script.

I'm not saying
throw it all away,

just lighten it up
a bit.

Lighten it up?

It's about a painter
who's forced
to jump from a roof.

What's the point
of the film...
the main point?

Well, it's about
a man who...

it's about an artist

who'd rather kill himself
than compromise, right?

No, that's not...
yeah, but...

there's other stuff
about relationships

and the symbol thing,
where the bird flies
out of the painting.

Want to make your
statement? Fine.

I'm just saying
use humor.

What humor?

Like the painter.

All he does is complain
throughout the script.

No, he doesn't.

O.k., for instance,
does he have to be
a sad drunk?

Why not make him
a happy drunk?

He could be funny
and crazy and wild...

destructive,
but with a kind
of irreverent wit,

like Jack Nicholson.

What do I do
with the prostitute?

That's the only part
she can play.

She gets two scenes,
one line.

She won't go
for that.

How about if when
he first meets
the prostitute,

she doesn't want
to be painted?

She'll sleep with him
but won't pose nude.

It's against her ethics.

That sounds
like a joke.

People are complex,
Marvin.

He tries to teach
the prostitute
how to paint.

She reveals
she once tried
to kill herself.

That would foreshadow
the whole thing.

But the painter
isn't a prostitute.

Drawing a parallel
between suicides...

but that's the point!

She doesn't kill herself.
She becomes a prostitute!

And the painter
refuses to prostitute
himself and dies.

Right?

So the artist
is different from
the prostitute...

Because?

O.k., outline
a few ideas,

but nothing goes
into the script

unless I approve it.

You got that?

Oh, I'm from all over.

Eight states,
three foreign countries.

I was an army brat...
well, maybe just a brat.

My senior year
I spent in the aleutians.

Really? That must
have been strange.

No, no, it was interesting.
It was fun.

I went to an eskimo school,
listened to the radio a lot.

Of course,
it's cold up there.

Oh, yeah, I can imagine.

Before I was 10,

I lived in one place
all the time...
weirton, West Virginia.

I remember everything
was broken down there.

It was all grimy.

There was black smoke
that used to come out
of the steel mill

in the middle of the town.

But I had lots of dolls.

I used to play house
a lot. It was fun.

Was your father
stationed there?

No, no.

My other father...
my real father.

Oh, yeah?
What was he like?

He's handsome.

He had a wonderful
sense of humor.

Do you still see him?

No, no, we used to,
you know,

but it's better now
that we don't,

you know?

He loves me a lot.
I know that.

I...

He...he just has
trouble showing it.

Some...some people
are like that.

You know, he thinks
about me a lot.

I...i...

I can feel it.

And sometimes
I just sit,

and I close my eyes,

and...

Just feel his love...

Floating towards me.

He sent me a card
a few years ago.

I...I'm ready.

Betsy!

Betsy,
where are you?

Betsy!

Carmine's ready
to strike a deal.

So that's it. I mean,
we're in business!

We're better
than in business.
We're on a roll.

The first money's
the hardest.

First money?
What do you mean?

Carmine's putting up
first money.

We'll get the rest
someplace else.

Not all the money?

He went for half.

So we're back where
we started from!

Marvin,
will you relax?

That's the beauty
of the thing.

Carmine has
this friend
who's loaded,

really loaded.

It just so happens
he has this
girlfriend.

We're here to see
Mr. Wright.

Oui.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Wright.

Thank you, sir.

The script is going to
need some changes.

Changes? What kind
of changes?

Carmine doesn't care if
this film makes money.

You don't either,
because you're an artist.

But if I'm investing
in this film,

it will make a profit.

What you have here

is a very, very
dark, morbid script.

I actually
kind of liked it,

but it'll roll over and die
when it hits the market.

I'm lightening it up,
putting in some humor.

You'll have a light
morbid script with
humor that'll bomb.

Either way, I lose money.

I thought you wanted
to do this movie
because of...

Beverly? That's one reason.
I need more than one.

If I'm doing it,
we're doing it my way.

Input can be helpful.

Arty films are
making money these days,

but you need to appeal

to an audience's
basic motive for
going to a movie.

To be entertained.

No, to be titillated...

to go to the movies to be
titillated, to see sex.

There's no sex in your film.
You need more sex.

There is some.
It's just not obvi...

Yes.

I've confirmed
those reservations.

Make sure you get me
the room with the terrace.

Find out about that boat.

Yes, sir.

Good.

Isn't your film
about self-destruction?

Well, sex is a form
of self-destruction.

As the photographer
becomes more disturbed,

his sexual obsessions

begin to dominate
and destroy his life.

The photographer?

The painter's
a photographer.

It's much more
contemporary.

He should be photographing
nude women.

His art
and his sexuality

should be forever fighting
and chained together,

distorting each other's
emotions, and...

that's the way I see it.

Great idea!

I hear
the editing room

is where real decisions
are made,

so I or somebody
from my office

will supervise editing.

You got to be
kidding...

Marvin, Marvin...

Mr. Wright, I understand
your thoughts.

I wouldn't be who
I am if I didn't
back my director

on certain matters.

Roth, you're three months
behind on your mortgage.

Your last two pictures

destroyed whatever
reputation you had.

The only decent picture
you ever made

is credited
to the kid's father.

Don't bullshit me.
I don't like it!

We respect what
you're saying.
Jack's only trying...

how old are you, son?

24.

Talk to me
in five years.

Marvin,
save your temperament

for when you can
afford it.

You have more to lose
than either of these guys.

Be honest.
Your life's a disaster.

Your last film folded when
that actor killed himself.

You haven't done
anything since.

You're 42,
you live in a shithole,

you direct
instructional tapes.

I'm willing
to give you a chance

because I think you might be
desperate enough

to make this film work.

You think I'm an asshole
with money.

I'm actually
an interesting guy.

Maybe one day
you'll know me.

We're not so different,
Marvin.

It's just that I create
money, that's my art.

I'm very good at it.

Once I make a deal,
I'm a man of my word.

Think about it.

Thank you.

So, when do we,
uh, all get to meet

your fabulous
friend Beverly?

I'll give you her number.

We're not seen in public.
My wife wouldn't like it.

It's excellent.

Shall we eat, gentlemen?

I'm on the pritikin diet,

but the frogs' legs
are excellent.

He's right about
one thing...

I am desperate.

Hey, none of US
are in great shape.

Listen, Marvin,
I got a hide like
a rhinoceros.

I have to.
I'm a producer.

Money is money.

Tell me how much
you can take,

because whatever
it is,

uncle Jack
is behind you.

A nude photographer

chained
to his sexuality?

What is he
talking about?

There's always a way.

Stuart's a clever kid.

Let him play with it.

Maybe he'll make it
work for everybody.

Am I really
considering this?

I want the lead role.

I don't care what part
little miss airlines gets,

but it better be
smaller than mine.

I'll count the lines.

I want a heavy,
dramatic role.

I won't do
any nude scenes

unless absolutely
necessary

and tastefully done.

I'm not strutting
my black ass around

to give the grips
a thrill.

I want to sit down alone
with the director

and check him out.

I'm not going
to get jerked around.

The moment I get
the slightest indication

you people
are not on the level,

I will wipe you out,

and I can do it.

Not only am I making it
with Mr. Evan m. Wright,

but I also happen to be
screwing Mr. Carmine rasso,

who also has an interest
in this project.

That's right.

I'm fucking
both your investors,

so don't fuck with me.

Any questions?

You know, I've never
had Sushi before.

My voices were right.

You think that life
is nothing

but not being stone dead.

I could let the trumpets
and banners and soldiers

pass me by

if only I could still hear
the wind in the trees,

the larks in the sunshine,

and the blessed, blessed
church bells

that send
my angels' voices

floating to me
on the wind.

Without these things,

I cannot live.

And by your wanting
to take them away from me

or from
any human creature,

I know that your counsel
is that of the devil

and that mine...

Is of god.

You're
a very good actress.

Mm-hmm.

You know,
that was very good.

I was pushing.

No, I didn't
get that.

Well, I was.

What are we doing here?
I liked it, o.K.?

I've looked into
your background.

Not much there.

What did you find out?
Anything good?

You directed some
pretty serious
stage stuff

in New York.

Then you made
a classy little film.

The New York times
said you showed promise.

I suppose I was
doing pretty good.

And then you came
to Hollywood.

Yeah, then I came
to Hollywood.

Anyway, you, though...

you know, you're...

obviously you must
be offered roles.

I want a movie
where I get to
use my talent.

The only things
I get offered

are either porno
or horror films.

Carmine liked you,

thought it might be
good for me.

Carmine's...

A g-good friend?

You want to ask
me something?
Ask me straight out.

I don't like to be
manipulated.

Now, this is
where it's at...

Evan taught carmine tennis
when he was a tennis pro.

Carmine backed his first
racquetball club.

Within a year,
Evan bought him out

and has been
ahead of him ever since.

We met on a double-date.

Does, um,
Patricia know?

The girl's
brain-damaged.

Flying around
at high altitudes.

Besides,
it's no big deal.

What about you?

I do what I want.

Nobody owns me.

Honey, don't
come on to me.

It gets in the way
of the work,

and I don't want
any problems.

Not that
you're not cute,

not in your own way.

No, believe me,
it didn't even
enter my mind.

Well, when it does, o.K.?

So do I pass
the audition?

You made the call-backs.

It's a floor-through,
two blocks from
central park.

Honey, you got to
see this place.

Why won't you come?

I want to.
I want to, but i...

there are these videos.

How long do you think
you'll want to stay
at my mother's

when you get to New York?

It sounds great!
It's just that
I can't right now.

Oh, there's a cab!

Honey, if you
like the place,

see what
the deposit is.

Taxi!

It's right across
the street from
the planetarium.

That's wonderful!
Wonderful!

Love you. Get here!

Bye-bye, honey.
I miss you!

I got to know
what I'm doing.

My wife's waiting
for me in New York.

Marvin, after
our meeting with
George and Peggy,

you can tell your wife
you'll be directing,
not teaching.

I think Peggy's
wonderful.

Well, I need somebody
who can do more

than sing
she's a sex goddess.

George behaved nicer
than he did at canter's.

He's impossible.
He'll want Peggy to have
the biggest part.

He's in no position
to ask for shit

now that the horror
film's fallen apart.

With the money
he'll fork over,

we can make the film
look like it should.

You know, this film
is about a guy's
involvement with his art.

How does he have time
for three women?

You're absolutely right.
That's why I was thinking

we ought to change him
into a gigolo.

What?

It's just
an idea.

Did you hear
what he said?

You're the director.
We're pulling over.
The car's overheating.

It was just a thought.

Come on, stop it.

I don't want
to hear anymore.
I'm tuning you out.

Come on.
We're a team.

I'm going to piss.

Let's just go
with the other guys
and get the deal signed.

If Stuart's
turning the painter
into a photographer,

won't you need
a bigger budget
for models and stuff?

He wants to turn him
into a gigolo,
not a photographer.

It's just an idea.
Can't I even tell
an idea?

I'll go scout
up ahead.

Are you seriously
considering turning
him into a gigolo,

or are you just
out of your mind?

To hell with you.
You can write it
yourself.

Where are you going?
We're in the middle
of nowhere.

Fuck you. You've got
such great ideas,
you rewrite the script.

You're the guy who knows
how to bullshit these guys.

Why are you so upset?

I love her.
Marvin, I love her.

It's eating me up inside,
I love her so much.

Who? What?

Peggy!
For god's sake...Peggy!

Are you crazy?

When
did this happen?

I amcrazy...an idiot
who stabs himself
like a scorpion.

I adore her.
I don't know
what to do.

Do you realize
what'll happen
if George finds out?

Can't you think
of anything but yourself?

Can't you?

I like him.

He's really sweet,

and he's
crazy about me.

But if George
found out that
I saw him alone,

it would kill him.

I owe everything
to George.

He saved my life.

I owe him
everything for that.

Maybe we could meet
at your place.

What?

George trusts me
with you. He doesn't
think you like me.

This is
insignificant.

Not for me!
The guy's allowed
to look presentable!

How am I supposed
to shoot this
with one bulb?

Mr. Bertolucci,
I goofed. I'm sorry.

This is a business.
I got to run
this fuckin' place,

and you're going off
on one god damn
light bulb!

You're out
of perspective.

Darling, I love you.
Calm down.

You're a great artist.
You're very thorough.

Please. We got
to finish this.

Got eating disorders
in the hallway.

You waiting for me?

No. Marvin.

Right.

Hey, kiddo, this
is not a bad life.

What's the matter?

Nothing's the matter.

Must I always be
an emissary of gloom?

Something's wrong,
right? What?

No. Everything
is perfect.

As a matter
of fact, we got
to start thinking

about getting
a production office.

Now, there is this
thing with carmine...

you see? I knew it!

Thank god I didn't
tell Rachel!

It's no big deal.
His father has to
cosign the check,

so you'll pitch him
the story or something.

Interesting guy. Used to be
the garbage king of Newark.

She's beautiful.

She...she seems
to lift his spirits.

And
as he paints her,
he photographs her.

It...it causes him
to be uplifted.

He's, uh...

and as he...
his...he...

his paintings
become...

pictures become
further well-known,

uh...

He's a wild
and crazy
but wonderful guy.

People love him.

He's like
Jack Nicholson

in terms
of endearment...

But nicer.

Aah!

Who is it?

Me...Marvin.

Thank god
it's only you.

Let me in. I've got
a bunch of groceries.

I got to
get dressed.

Give US a second.
We'll be right out.

Cesar romero.

Jack.

Ed asner.

Dennis hopper.
Why not Dennis hopper?

He's hot. Money.

Robert culp.

Will you stop? They're
all too old for the part.

What about
for the gallery
owner?

I know.
He's perfect...

the singer
from motley crue.

Stop, Stuart.
We need an actor.
Stay out of casting.

What about
Klaus Maria brandauer?

He'd be brilliant
as the painter.

He'd love the script.

He's a foreigner.
We need a name

if we're going to get
a good distributor.

He isa name!

You're short 2 bucks.

Greg louganis.

The diver?

Yeah. He's got
a lot of presence.

You're good
with actors. You'll
make him look great.

Jack, did you
see mephisto?
Brandauer's the guy!

Ernest borgnine.

He's too old!

No! He's right
there! Look!

Stuart, get
a script, quick.

He's still
too old.

He won
an academy award!

Jack, what
are you doing?

Mr. Borgnine!
Ernest! Ernest!

Jack!

Mr. Borgnine!
I want to talk to you
for a second!

Can I talk...

can I talk to you
for a second?

Ernest, please!

Won't you even...

there's a really
great part in that!
Seriously!

Ernest, i...

what's your fax number?
We can...

Maybe he istoo old
for the part,

but he's a hell
of an actor.

Oh, jeez.

Come on, Stuart,
you're overdoing it.

Man, enough is enough.

It's still my place,
you know?

Hurry up.

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

Rachel?

What are you
doing here?

Well, I missed my
husband desperately...

And the air fare
was a giveaway.

So.

Well, what have you done
with your hair?

Hey, this is how all
hip restaurateurs look.

Wait till you see
my tattoo.

Oh...

Oh, so that's
what sex is like.
I almost forgot.

You get it more often
when you're in
the same time zone.

What's this?

Oh, yeah. "The fun
has just begun."

I wasn't at my best
when I gave you this,
was I?

No, not exactly.

You know...o.K.

All right.

What? What?

Here. Now, this
is sort of an idea
for the waiters.

Oh, wow. This
is sort of tacky.

Tacky?

Get...

oh, how dare you call
la Dee da tacky?

It's beyond tacky.

New yorkers love
to hate L.A., right?

Soon they can
satisfy their snobbery

and their stomachs
simultaneously.

Where? At la Dee da.

Aha!

Zanily decorated
with plastic palm trees

and a freeway mural,

la Dee da is going
to be a delicious
cartoon version

of the big orange.

From Turkey chili

to the unusual
designer pizzas...

the food is going
to be so much better
than it has to.

Opened by the young
and vivacious
Rachel landisman

and her partner
Paula Rose,

la Dee da
is going to be

New York's
new hot spot.

Yeah.

Bring
your sunglasses.

Is that how
you pitch it?

It depends who
I'm talking to,

but I can
pour it on, yeah.

You know what
would be really great?

If we could go
to robata's.

Robata's for dinner?

Yeah.

Tonight?

Who can afford that?

We can.
I bring great news.

We are not going
to prison after all.

I have paid off
the entire
American express.

Great.

Great.

We should've made
a reservation.

Sure you don't want
to wait in the bar?

No. Let's
take a ride and
come back later.

O.k.

Mr. Wright.
How are you?

I don't know you.
You're making a mistake.

Boys?

Now, boys.

I like
the food here.

It's nice
to see you.

Who was that?

He was right.
My mistake.

He looked like
somebody else.

I'm glad
we're leaving L.A.

I just feel
so much happier
in New York,

and...and we're
so much better
in that city.

Yeah.

This place,
I don't know,

just...feels
like bad luck.

But...oh, you learn
from everything...

I guess.

Fred thinks
you'll get the job
at queens college,

but you have to
fly there now and
talk to the chairman.

It's a wonderful job.

I can't right now.
I promised Bernie.

Yeah. I just
don't want you
to lose it...

So maybe if you
came back with me
for two days.

Uh...there are
these videos.

I've...i got
to finish them.

You're having an affair.

What?

There are Bobby pins
all over the floor.

Ahem.

No, I'm not. I'm...

there are these people.

They're using my place
to rehearse.

Marvin...

no. Uh...

Rachel, i...
I got to tell you
something. Um...

You know
that crazy idea

that when you really
want something,
it won't happen,

but when you
forget about it,
there it is?

It's true.

What do you mean?

Guess.

I don't know.
Guess.

I don't know. I...
you won the lottery.

The darkness
and the light.

Oh.

I said I had
to think about it.

It's so easy
this time.

We're either
doing it or not.

I'm just waiting
to sign.

That's why I didn't
tell you sooner.

See, these people
are quite reasonable.

They have constructive
criticism. We're making
it more modern.

We're turning
the painter
into a photographer,

but I'm getting to
tell Warren's story,
suicide and all.

You know, I thought...

If I set the last scene
in Michael's room

rather than
up on the roof,

maybe I can use
the real building
in the background.

It'll be our secret.

Zoey and David

stand for a moment
in the center
of the room,

not knowing
what they want or
why they came there.

We cut to the frail,
human possessions
that inhabit the room.

A pair of shoes
near the bed.

A few pennies
on the kitchen table.

They turn to look
at the photographs
that line the walls.

Pictures that glow
with the marvelous radiance

from the passion
that burned within him.

There should be something
almost embarrassing

about the beauty
and intimacy of them.

Suddenly David...

Is drawn
toward the balcony...

Trying to confront...

The reality
of the leap.

The insanity of it.

And as he looks down
to the streets
of the city below,

he understands
what it's like to want
something so much

that it can destroy you.

The emotion's
so strong that they...

they push it
or reach out

beyond everything that
holds you to the earth.

Marvin.

You're an asshole.

All you ever think of
is you, you, you!

You never believed
in me! You're just
like my father!

Oh!

Because he had
such a shitty time
in Russia,

he thinks no one
could have any luck
anywhere!

I said, "pop, you're
in america now!"

Rachel, you're
the asshole!

Marvin, don't be
self-destructive.

The seven years
that we tried
to make that film

were like
a horrible accident.

We're just now starting
to pick up the pieces.

I'm happy for
the first time in years.

Marvin...

Please don't take that
away from me.

Please.

Don't.

Oh. Please.

Please don't.

It was terrible.

Sometimes I didn't know
if I loved you anymore.

Oh, god,
you're right.

You're right.

Please don't
scare me again.

Please.

Forget about the film.
It's crazy.

It's not crazy, honey.

It's not crazy.

Your film could
have been beautiful,

but no one
wants to see it.

How can you say that?

No one's ever had
a chance to see it.

You're right.

You're
absolutely right.

They should see it.

They should see it.

But to the
money people,

a film about
a frail artist
and his death,

that's a joke.

To them, Warren's
just some loser

who deserved
what he got.

You're right, honey,

but there's nothing
we can do.

That's the bottom line.

I'm sorry. I've got
to get something to eat.

When a spirit
like Warren's
is squelched,

the world loses
something great.

You know that.

Yes, Marvin.
We know that.

They don't care.

What...what is this?

I care.

Marvin, you were
the last thing

that Warren
couldn't cope with
before he jumped.

What you care about
is your guilt.

Can you clean out
the refrigerator
once in a while?

Should I make a film
about something
I don't care about?

Car racing?

Your film
is about a man

who didn't have
an inch of talent
for living,

so he solves
all his problems

by throwing himself
off of a roof.

You didn't used to
see it that way.

But now that
you can pay off
American express,

that's
how you see it.

Yeah, 'cause i'm
a sellout, right?

I'm a big sellout.

And you're...
Everything you do
is right.

This is the real world.

Birds in paintings
don't fly away.

They just stay there.

Don't you dare
make fun of that!

I'm not.

That's the thing.

I don't think
you understand

that birds
in paintings
don't fly.

People can't
have everything
that they want.

They can't have that.

You have to
stop dreaming.

You are such
a talented man,

and you don't have
a single thing
to show for it.

You live like
a hermit,

my brother
is your only friend,

you make videotapes
for some jerk
that you hate.

You live like
a college kid, Marvin.

I...i...i can't
believe it.

Well...

But I am going
to make this film.

Fine.

That's fine.

But you're going
to do it without me.

You're right.

The real mistake is

I didn't let you
go earlier.

What are you saying?

I want you to go.

There's no way
I'll ever beat this.

It's what
I am, honey.

What else
am I here for?

Well, maybe...

If you...if you really
thought that...

don't give in.

I mean,
who are we kidding?

This may not
come together,
and if it doesn't,

I don't want you
to be around me
this time.

I love you.

I want you happy
and far away.

Please let me take you
to the airport.

No.

Ah!

Dah!

Ah!

Marvin, Marvin, Marvin.

You're killing me,
Marvin.

You're killing me,
Marvin.

Just do it.

This is not the script
we agreed to.

Just do it!

O.k., o.K.

Life is
too beautiful.

There's always
another day.

Is that good?

Keep it rolling.

What are you doing?

Rolling.

Just do what
I tell you to do.

Get back to one.

Back to one.

250 feet, chief.

In six. Action.

Life is so beautiful.

There's always
another day.

Good for you?

Oh, my god!Aah!No!

Basically,
I'm playing
with the idea

that there's
like, a happening
in the universe.

The story focuses
on four people

who live near
one another.

Now, because
of this energy thing,

one of them
is destined to die.

It could be Peggy

who's so sensual
and lovely.

Or maybe Patricia
who's light-hearted
and funny.

But the main suspicion
falls on Beverly

who is so dramatic

that you
have to wonder
about her past.

Certainly
not the photographer

who seems so normal
and successful that...

That's it.

I'm going back to
the original script.

I'm not making
any changes.

Any changes.

Marvin. What are you
talking about?

They won't make
the film.

Don't be
self-destructive.

Help me, Stuart.

Help me, will you?

You're a smart guy.

It's a great story.

Just help me
use these women
to tell it

and get it made.

I never told you
what this all
came out of.

It's about that actor
committing suicide
on your film.

No. It's about
how I killed him.

What?

Believe it or not,
Stuart,

once
I was pretty hot.

From an old novel,
I wrote a script

about a ruthless
gambler

who destroys
someone he loves.

Life changes for him,

and then,
isolated and desperate,

he realizes who he is
and kills himself.

Pretty grim stuff,
but...

I got Warren zell.

Warren was a very
special actor.

He was an original.

But he'd been
through a lot,

and he wasn't
acting anymore.

See, I had been
his student.

He trusted
and liked me...

And I convinced him

it would give what
he had been through
meaning.

Warren was amazing.

The film
suddenly had a...

Incredible mystery
to it.

Actually,
it was too good.

The producers
loved the rushes

and thought
it might be
a Christmas release.

Oh, they had
one small change...

take out the suicide.

Instead,
have the character
recite some speech

like, "there's
always another day."

It was, um...4:00
in the afternoon.

I had a terrible
headache.

I can still
hear the thud.

God, that's sick.

He was crazy.

Of course he was,
or he wouldn't
have jumped.

But he was
too weak to fight US
any other way.

He had to remain
honest to himself,

and the suffering
he represented.

I was betraying him,
turning this into
an insane farce.

Don't you see,
Stuart?

This
is what the film
needs to be about...

the fact that
not everything
is for sale,

that some things
just have to be
left as they are.

Help me, Stuart.

I want his death
to mean something.

Marvin,

they're
only making this

to put their
girlfriends in it.

Take out the painter.

He's a photographer.
We can't take him out.

The whole thing
revolves around him!

O.k. Leave him in,

but take out
the suicide.

What, are you crazy?

After the trouble
we went through
to sell it?

That's the only element
everyone agrees on.

I can't bear him dying
amidst all this crap.

Let him get hit
by a car, leave town...

it's a little late
for that. Marvin,
the suicide stays.

You take it out.

I won't have him
turn into
a comic book.

I won't
murder him again!

I'll kill you.

Don't take it
so personally!

You're going
to murder him.
I'm going to kill you!

Hold it!

Sorry, dad.

I don't know where
junior gets the idea

that the writing game
is some fucking picnic.

As far as I know,

you not only need
gracious amounts of talent,

but balls of steel.

If I never wrote again,

it would be
too soon for me.

I remember 1962
in the high sierras.

I almost shot
peckinpah's big toe off

'cause he wanted
to cut a scene of mine.

That's when I gave a shit.

You want a drink?

We were hunting bear.

Bear.

That's real.

Junior, go down and
get US some ice, will you?

Let me give you
some advice, landisman.

I don't know what's
going on with junior

and this screenwriting.

Probably some phase he's
going through or something.

But you're a little
long in the tooth

to be playing the auteur
game, don't you think?

There's a weird kind
of respect that you get

for making anything...

Even a piece of shit.

You're in the club.

From where I'm sitting,

that looks like
what you need.

It's all
a fucking charade, anyway.

Marvin?

What about
my two points?

Will they
give in on them?

They won't take any points
from their share.

I fought
like crazy for it.

Why don't we each
give Stuart a point
from our share?

Stuart,
you've been very helpful,

but a point is a point.

Then pay cash.
I'm killing myself
on this script.

It's supposed to
come from them.

Jack.

All right.
You got the points.

If he's willing
to give up one of his,

why not?

God knows you deserve it.

Fine. That's it.
Everything agreed?

Yeah.
I'll take care of it.

I got to draw up
those papers

because George
is throwing a party tomorrow

for Peggy's voice teacher,
and everybody's invited.

He thinks it's a good time
to sign the contracts.

Will the script
be finished?

I think so.

Come on, guys.
Let's celebrate.

Are you still
doing that comic
thing?

No, but...

don't tell me.
Just finish.

You know, Marvin,

when this picture
hits the theaters,

the only thing
we'll have to worry about

is what floor
of the black tower

we're going to piss out of.

From your mouth
to god's ears.

I'm telling you.

So what the fuck
happened to you, Jack?

You used to be
a big shot at universal.

Why are you
cocking around
with deals like this?

Yeah, well.

You know, I loved
working at the studios.

I'm not one of those guys
who knocks them.

It was
Fritz benings.
He screwed him.

No. Bullshit.

I screwed myself.

Oh, god.

Benings was the head
of the studio

when I did
the stradler picture.

Classic asshole.

I had to fight him
for everything.

I had to fight him
for...The budget,

the stars, the director,

but despite him, I got
the picture made my way.

It's the best damn thing
I ever did.

Then when it looked like
it was going to go big,

he suddenly decides

he wants his name on
the picture as co-producer.

I should have given it
to the prick, but...

This old street thing came up,
and I had to fuck him.

I mean, if it had hit,

I would have
gotten away with it.

But...

It bombed.

Then I was
just another loudmouth.

Haven't worked
for a studio since.

For 15 years,
I've done nothing.

What a jerk I was.

You did that
scuba diver film.

That piece of shit?

Now I got to crawl around
on my hands and knees

to get a couple of bucks
for something.

Jesus,
I did it to myself.

Now I look back...

All those years
have disappeared

like a coin
sinking in the sand.

This life...This one life.

Jack...

This film will be
a new beginning...

For all of US.

To new beginnings.

To new beginnings.

Did you just
get off the boat,
buddy?

I'm telling you,
I'm the producer,
Jack roth.

They don't
have our names.

You have Stuart stratland?

Stratland...

Yep. Stratland
and two guests.

All right.
You can go on up.

I know teak, ebony.

I'm an expert on wood.

I love trees.

Oh!

Oh, what a dilemma

to be torn between
two gorgeous women.

Oh, Jack.

Believe it or not,

this little fella
is a genuine hans broker.

No, don't touch it.

It's over
200 years old.

The mechanism
is more precise

than anything
the Japanese
ever thought of.

Never loses a second.
That's something, huh?

I'd like to see
the cuckoo.

When does it
come out?

It's broken.

Nobody knows how
to fix the cuckoo.

You know,
Mitch has taught
everyone.

Just this morning,
Liza sent him
a bowl of flowers.

George and I
are so lucky

to have him living
here with US.

I adore
talented people.

You put a scratch
on this,

it'll be your ass.

I used to drink.

Oh, I forgot the dip!

Watermelon and jalapeño.

I'll help.

After all, we're going
to be working together.

You are
such a sweetie.

I can tell
we're going to be buds.

I'll help, too.

Uh, no, thank you.
It's girls' work.

What a tacky party.

What a
terrific party.

Have a burger.

I will.
I've heard about

your famous
barbecue sauce.

It's not the sauce.
My herbs make it delicious.

So westmoreland asks
all the officers
in the room

if they have
any questions,

and I said, "yeah,
I got a fucking
question, general."

Where's Evan?

He's flying in
from Europe.

How's the script?

Europe?

Don't worry.
He's got to be
in Tokyo tomorrow.

But what if...

oh!

Oh!

Oh, no, don't worry.

No, no, don't worry.
Don't worry.

Most watermelon
will come right out.

Oh, hi, Beverly.

Hi.

Beverly,
this is Peggy.

Peggy,
this is Beverly.

Hello.

Marvin,
she's really pretty.
I mean, really gorgeous.

Boy, I can't wait
to work together.

This is going
to be great.

You've got dip
in your hair.

You know, I think
I'm going to go change.

You'd better be
a good director

with those two
yo-yos.

George, Peggy wants to
bring the guests inside.

We're bringing out
a birthday cake for Mitch.

Thank you.
Everybody
in the house!

You want to come inside
for some birthday cake?

You don't know horrible.

The tiles?
The tiles
in the bathroom

are from Macedonia.

Where's Macedonia?

Greece, darling.

George
has detectives
everywhere tonight.

He thinks
I'm having an affair

with somebody
in the class.

Are you
having an affair

with someone
in the class?

Zip me up.

So where's
the script?
I want to read it.

Jack said
you'd bring one
with you.

I called for four days.
Where have you been?

Where
do you suppose?

Alphabetically
screwing everyone
in my building.

I'll go find Jack.

Come here.

Don't you ever
leave the phone
off the hook

like that again.

Don't play
Donald Trump
with me.

You know you'll be
sorry later.

Fine. I'm getting
on a plane for Tokyo
in five hours,

and that's it.

Be my guest.

That's it.

That's it.

Ahem.

I did have
an extra ticket,

but I guess
I don't n-n-need it!

That's it.
That's it.

Where were you?

Evan...

Where were you?

Evan...

Where were you
for five days?

What?

Evan and Beverly
are fighting.

Because I don't
have an agreement

to take you
everyplace.

I do have
to take my wife
now and then.

Let's get
the contracts.

Eh, hiya, buddy.

Hi, Evan.

Hi.

Beverly.

Carmine.

I was just
telling Evan

we really should
meet more often.

I really miss
our little
get-togethers.

Ha ha ha ha.

She's quite a girl.

You want her?
She's yours.

No, no, no.
She's yours.

Let's go inside.

What a nice couple!

You're probably
screwing him, too.

Of course.

That's it.
That is it.

♪ Happy birthday

♪ this is your party

♪ we all extend to you
a hearty ♪

♪ greeting of love
to celebrate you ♪

♪ we congratulate you,
Mitch, our Mitch ♪

Everyone! It's easy.

What is this?

♪ Happy birthday

♪ this is your party

♪ we all extend to you
a hearty ♪

♪ greeting of love
to celebrate you ♪

♪ we congratulate you,
Mitch, our Mitch ♪

So where's the script?

Huh?

I got an idea.

How about a scene

where Beverly
gets chained to a bed

and someone
stabs her to death?

Yeah, yeah, sure.
We can do that.

I'm only joking.

You got me there.

Uh, look, um,

Jack's going
to have the papers
by the pool...

fine.
Who cares about
this fag's birthday?

All right,
who wrote the song?

We did!
We did!
We did!

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, thank you
very much.

It's not gershwin,
but thank you.

Speech!
Speech!

Carmine?
We're meeting
at the pool

to get
the papers
signed.

It'll only
take a minute.

Great. Great.

What's the matter?

You're looking
kind of down.

I'm fine.

You're not fine.

I'm fine.

I would like to thank
our host...

George.

Yay!
George!

Soon to be
producer George.

Give me a kiss, huh?

Beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep.

O.k.? You going to
be all right?

You're sure? There's
nothing wrong?

No.

I want to see Mitch
open his presents.

Evan's got to go.

Party pooper.

Gentlemen.

So, we're partners
again, carmine.

We could have made
a killing together
if only, uh...

If only, uh...

If only what?

If only you
knew something
about business.

Yeah,
that's true to form.

I'm...I'm joking.

Hey, you're still
a great tennis player.

No, I'm kidding.

Listen, Beverly's
just driving me
up the wall.

She's trouble.

Real trouble.

Yeah, what can I do?

What a festive evening
this is.

I want you
to taste this cake.

The baker comes from my
mother's hometown in tarnow.

Where?

Poland.

Excuse me.

This the contract?

I can't read a contract
in this light.

I can't, either.

Let's go
to the billiard room.

Come on. Come on.

Poland, huh?

Poland.

What are you doing?

Beverly
wants a script.

Give it to me.
I'll give it to her.

♪ A kiss ♪ a kiss

♪ a kiss ♪ a kiss

♪ a kiss ♪ a kiss

♪ you gave ♪ you gave

♪ to me ♪ to me

♪ last night ♪ last night

♪ your slave ♪ made me

♪ I am your slave

Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.

"...liability shall be...

Territories
now consist of..."

Stuart said
you were down here.

Oh, hi.

I was just checking
for typos.

You don't know
how important
this is to me.

I need something
like this.

I do, too.

I'd like to be alone.

Sure.

Are you all right?

You think
I'm some kind of
whore, don't you?

I have a job.

I have
my own apartment,

and I pay my own way.

The only reason
I ever thought about

getting involved
in this stupid little film

was 'cause I thought
it would bring me
and carmine closer.

All I ever wanted
was to marry him
and have his children,

but he's just
like the rest of you.

You're all
a bunch of liars!

Marvin,
be honest with me.

I won't get upset.
He's not worth it, o.K.?

Just tell me the truth.

Is carmine
having an affair
with Beverly?

Gee, I don't know.
I hardly...

aah, no! God!

I can tell
by your voice
he's cheating on me!

How could he
do this to me? Oh!

Well, i...i...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.

I feel. I just...

if it wasn't for
your stupid little film,

I never would have
found out!

I really don't know.

If you see carmine,
you tell him
I went for a walk.

♪ These are the things
I cannot change ♪

♪ I cannot change
these things ♪

♪ lovers whose love
time will estrange ♪

♪ these are the things
I cannot change ♪

♪ I cannot change
these things ♪

♪ a log that's rotting
with mushroom rings ♪

♪ a twine that's knotting

♪ a bird that sings
no longer... ♪

Why are you
ignoring me?

You're acting
crazy.

What is this deduction
for item 3-b?

Where is item 3-b?

Here it is.

Roth buried it with the
world premiere tickets.

It's his, uh,
consulting fee?

It's a standard clause.

Cut the crap.

You're skimming off
points for yourself.

You're stealing
from US.

Heh heh, roth.

That's a
legitimate cost.

You don't know
the movie business.

I use that in
my own contracts.

Are you trying
to bullshit
a bullshitter?

Marvin,
do me a favor.

See if you can
find Patricia and
ask her to come in here.

I think she said she
was going for a walk.

For a walk?

She didn't feel well.

Patricia?

Oh, god.

The bottom
of page 8.

What's going on?

You got it?

That point's going
into your pocket.

It's for the script.

The writer deserves
to be paid.

Not out of our share!

That's the deal that
was made with the lawyer.

What are
they talking about?

We agreed
to split it.

I took one
out of your share.

Why can't they
take the other one?

You think you're
selling herring
on Delancey street?

We've been over this
before.

Take the points
from my share.

No! The writer's
not paid that way!

Roth's not
that far down.

Why break our balls
if we don't get
our fair share?

I don't like
dishonesty.

This is
a small thing.

It's not
a small thing,
god damn it!

Enough of
this taking
the rear crap!

These guys should
suck my cock!

Watch it!
Watch it!

Shut up!

I'm sick of them.

Relax, relax.

Roth, calm down.

If Marvin wants to
give up his points,
it's all right.

What are you
arguing about?

I've been flying
for 12 hours.

I've got another flight
for another 12 hours.

Don't waste my time.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Marvin, I've been in
this god damn business

for 30 some years.

Fucking loser!
Don't you dare
blow this!

No, I can't take
the kids to school.

I'm going to Tokyo
tomorrow morning.

To Tokyo?

Evan...

Beverly?

I have nothing
to say to you.

You didn't
like the script?

The prostitute's roommate
is a black girl

who's in exactly
three scenes.

She's naked in two

and gets
stabbed to death
in the third.

There is an angelic blonde
who's in every scene

and dominates
the entire picture.

I wonder who
gets which part.

The truth is I haven't
read the script.

You've got
some scam, Sam.

I actually thought
that you might be...

An artist,

but you're just
another pimp.

Do you think
I studied six years
with Stella adler

to do this
exploitative bullshit?

I have something
very beautiful

and valuable
inside of me,

and one day...

I'm going to
get to show it.

Look, I never meant
for you to do this...

go fuck yourself,
Marvin.

The bottom
of page 8.

Page 8, the bottom.

Guess it's only a point.

It's just a point.

You really tried
to Jew US down,
didn't you, roth?

I resent that.

I'm sorry, but
I'm disappointed.

I thought you'd be
a better thief.

You know what
your reputation is,
you son of a bitch!

Shut up!

The whole world's
blown apart,

and you're
talking about

a few stupid details!

Shut up!

I'm sorry.

I really like you guys.

You work it out
anyway you want.

I got to go
find Patricia.

You should take the
form seminar on integrity.

I love you so much.

You bruised my arm,
you little fuck.

It's over.

I'm sorry.

I'm going
to kill you.

I'm going
to kill you.

Don't bother.
I'll kill myself.

No, wait. Marvin,
Stuart's out of control.

He'll blow
this whole thing.

If George
finds US in here...

so there you are.

Get out of my house.

George, it's not
what you're thinking.

You're both disgusting.

That's why you keep going
to his apartment?

No. I didn't
do anything.

I'm really mad at you
this time, Peggy.

Go to your room!

Get out of my house

and take your gangster
partner with you.

Peggy!

Make that two tickets
for Tokyo tomorrow.

Thank you.

You're very special.

I am.

Let's get out of here.

Patricia...
You know my background.

You know what
a jerk I've been,

but if you're willing
to take a chance...

Carmine...

Are you asking me
to marry you?

Yeah?

Oh...

Didn't go as well
as I had hoped.

You o.K.?

I'm just a pussy-whipped
hack, aren't I?

Come on, kid. Come on.

She's a pretty girl.

It happens
to the best of US.

Well, musketeers,
bloody, but not bowed.

Who the hell
do they think they are?

Three assholes trying to buy
their way into Hollywood.

You know, I always believed
in this picture,

and I go
with my hunches.

I'm putting everything
I got behind it.

What do you say?

What do you say, chief?

Does that mean he
doesn't want to do it?

Star wizard.

In October,
the planets
are further away

than last year.

This positive...

this promises

a generally
positive picture

in the universe.

The astrological
prospects...

Push in.

Are good for
that new addition
to your home

that you've
been putting off

or to further
your commitment

to that
loving relationship.

Pull out.

Star...

Wizard.

Have a good year.

Hello.

Marvin...
How's everything?

How's your life?

What you been doing?

Who is this?

Out of sight,
out of mind, huh?

It's uncle Jack,
Jack roth.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Jack.

Um, how are you?

Marvin,
I can't blame you

for trying
to forget about me

after that thing
with those schmucks.

It sure didn't turn out
the way I wanted it to.

That's o.K.
You did what you could.

I picked up
your script again,

and I couldn't
put it down.

You should never
have touched it.

I had a feeling
about that script,

and I still do.

Jack...Jack, listen.

I don't want to get
involved with this again.

I've got to
face the fact

that nobody's
will make it.

Even if they do,

they won't make it
the way I want it.

In the real world,

you don't get your dreams,
and that's o.K.

There are
other things in life,

and I want to
get on with them.

I...i understand
how you feel.

The only reason i'm
even bothering you

is because
I met a guy at the
friars' club today

and he's loaded,

and he's hot to get
into the film business.

I'm having a meeting
with him tomorrow,

and I figured
I'd invite you along.

What time?

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