Mister America (2019) - full transcript

Tim: I'm running
for San Bernardino

District Attorney.

Yeah.

I'm coming out here.

I'm a one-man band,
meeting the businesses,

talking to voters,

and getting the word out
about my candidacy.

Yes, for District Attorney.
I've said that three times now.

I'm not that corrupt,
Washington-style,

swamp-style...
District Attorney.

Look, I'm strong on crime.



I'm strong on crime.

I'm him! I don't have a beard.
I...

He doesn't have a beard in this.

This is me. Yeah. I am me.
I am... I just have a beard.

And I have sunglasses on. See?

That's a documentary crew
filming.

They're making a film
about my campaign.

See me?

That's me. Okay?

I just have a beard now
because we did a focus group

and people liked the beard.

Toni Newman says
the beard works.

Well, Vincent Rosetti

and some other clown, Sandoval.



So, I'm third party.
Just look for Tim Heidecker.

If you have the Internet,
you can go

And I'm gonna bring change.

All right?

All the... all the chips
are in on this,

sort of all the...

Everything's, um,
on the line here.

And, you know, financially,

emotionally, sort of,
where I'm at...

this is sort of my...

I don't wanna say my last play,
but it's my big play.

I think we've put ourselves
in a perfect position

to really come from
out of nowhere,

be the outsider,

and I think we have
a very good chance

of winning, too.

Tim: Oh, hi. I love dogs,
so this is perfect.

- Here's a...
- What are you running for?

- District Attorney.
- (dog barking)

Yeah, running against
Vincent Rosetti.

This is not a vote for me.

It's just to let me
get on the ballot.

I'm running
as an independent candidate.

Get on the ballot is a big part
of my day, every day.

At 15 signatures today,
so feeling pretty good.

We're just basically taking it
street by street,

and it's been a slog.

This is basically...
Fontana has been somewhere

where I've pretty much covered
the past three or four days.

I'm on my own.
I'm a one-man band.

I've got Rialto to hit.

I've got Highland, Redlands,
Loma Linda,

the city of San Bernardino,

and we have to cover
all that area.

It's 108 degrees out.

Ugh.

You know, it's a lot of ground
to cover

'cause, first of all,
most people aren't home.

Knocking on their door
on a Wednesday at 1:00 p.m...

(clears throat) You know,
I'm just... It's tough.

We need, you know,
something like 500 signatures

by next week.

But we're on track.

We're very optimistic about it,
and that's...

Toni's cracking the whip on that

'cause if we're not on
the ballot,

then we're in real trouble.
You guys voters? You 18?

Do you vote? No?

I'm running
for District Attorney.

No, I'm running
for District Attorney.

Sort of like governor.

It's the way to change
your future.

All right, thank you. Be safe.

We have tremendous, you know,

support on the Internet
for the campaign,

and we have
a real movement happening.

And you can go on there

and fill out our petition
to get me on the ballot.

We need 500 signatures.
And I'm strong...

strong on crime, no uh...

no uh...

no more corruption, you know,
just getting Rosetti out.

So, pass that on to your dad,
all right?

My campaign chairman,
Toni Newman,

is very active in the campaign
and is doing...

Wearing many hats,
talking to media outlets

almost every day.

We got the Epson printer
basically printing out

whatever we need...

and then
for the bigger-print stuff,

we're going off, you know, to...
to Kinko's for that stuff.

This is our campaign
headquarters, really,

at this point,
until we get bigger offices.

To-do board, my strategy board,
I call it, my map.

You know, the hotel
treats us right.

We got a fridge
pretty much fully stocked,

whatever you need.

Uh, TV. It's basically
your classic...

bathroom, which is all I need.

That's work,
and then we have, sort of...

I don't want to say play,
but rest

and sort of a home life,

which was
one of the great reasons

I picked up on this idea

of relocating
to this beautiful hotel,

is that I could...

I don't have to commute
or anything like that.

I can basically get right
to work as soon as I get up.

And then I'm just
in the community,

which is great.
It's not necessarily

about having... I don't need

to have lived here
my entire life

to know the problems
and to understand

how to fix them.
There's crime everywhere,

and the same solution
applies to anywhere you live.

So, if I lived here,
which I do officially...

This is my legal residence.

This is where mail comes to,
when I need mail.

It's the same anywhere. And...

You know, if I need
to do a call in here,

I got a phone in here.

You know, I wish
I had the volunteers,

but I also am glad and grateful
that there are...

that it's me
coming to the door.

I'm not a career politician.
I'm an outsider.

Are you an attorney...
You're an attorney now?

I've practiced law, yeah,

- and I've represented myself.
- Okay.

I've had tremendous experience
in law,

- so there's no worries there.
- All right.

'Cause that's what's happening
with Rosetti,

is he's hiring
all these people, immigrants,

people that probably
don't even have identification.

Rosetti is paying them cash
to go out there

and basically offer cash

if you vote for Rosetti
if I guaran...

So, they're buying votes.

My options were, really,
meet him again in civil court...

to prosecute him for the crime
he committed against me,

which is
unlawful incrimination.

I'd rather have you guys
in the driver's seat

than these rats here.
And they're liars.

And I don't know
what I did to them.

I don't know what I did to them
that they're so upset with me.

man: Tragedy struck today
as hundreds

of musical-festival attendees
fell ill

in what authorities are calling
a suspected drug overdose.

The San Bernardino County
Sheriff's Office

has launched an investigation
into the event

known as the Electric Sun
Desert Music Festival,

founded this year by musician
and entrepreneur Tim Heidecker.

The court calls the People
of the State of California

versus
Timothy Richard Heidecker.

Defendant is charged with counts

one through 20
of second-degree felony murder.

Vincent: He filled the lungs
of his innocent victims

with a chemical cocktail.
These portable vaporizers...

contain a dangerous chemical...

known to Mr. Heidecker
to cause illness

and be potentially fatal
when inhaled.

And Mr. Heidecker,
he'll be representing himself

- in this matter.
- I'm being unjustly prosecuted

for crimes of which
I did not commit.

woman: Your daughter was 17
when she left you.

I would do anything
to have her back.

And that man over there
is responsible.

He is responsible
for me losing her.

No, but he disobeyed me!
It's my...

I'll fuck you up, Mark!
Believe me! I'll fuck you up!

I have never seen
such a heinous crime

and such a tragedy.
See that justice is done.

Convict this individual.

Madam Foreperson, has the jury
reached a verdict?

No, we were not able to reach
a unanimous decision.

This is a mistrial,
and we are adjourned.

Yes! Yes!

I thank God for the one juror,
really,

who is sort of the stopgap here

and created this
amazing verdict.

It is my first time being
a juror...

a lawyer and I've proven myself

to be basically unstoppable
at this point.

As far as the DA goes,
this Rosetti

has turned out to be a total rat
and a bad, bad guy.

And I don't know how
you find these people,

if you elect them or not,

but if you have elected them,
who knows?

maybe he'll have
some competition next time.

Fuck this! I'm done!
You hear me!

And I'm coming for you, Rosetti,
wherever the fuck you are!

I'm running
for District Attorney

of San Bernardino County.
Why? Because I'm a fighter,

and I know
what that county needs.

I already proved myself

that I am the best lawyer
there's ever...

I won that case fair and square.

I want to be your DA,
and I hope I have your vote.

Edward: I retired
about three months ago.

I had a backlog
that I really felt

I was obligated to work through

and not pass off
onto any of my fellow judges.

But I have been winding down

since not too long after
the Heidecker verdict.

I have to say that
in all my time on the bench,

I've never had a case like that.

Mr. Heidecker clearly had
no respect for decorum.

Objection. Defendant
is intimidating this witness.

I am not intimidate...
I'll intimidate you.

- Believe me.
- Edward: Mr. Heidecker!

- I'm...
- Mr. Heidecker!

I'm warning you
that this is my...

I move to hold the defendant
in contempt.

- Judge, I promise
I'm going somewhere with this.
- Do you have a question to ask,

as opposed to an accusation
to make?

Frankly, he turned it
into a circus.

And I think we all bear
a responsibility

for allowing that to happen.

What a lot of people
don't understand

is that I had to allow
some of that to happen.

I had a constitutional duty...

to allow Mr. Heidecker
to represent himself

and to let him
do the best he could.

So, I think a lot
of the criticism

that's been leveled against me
is simply ignorant.

People don't understand

that that's a very
different situation.

From the volume of hate mail
I received

from people who were irate
about that verdict,

my perception is that...

in large sections
of San Bernardino County,

Mr. Heidecker
is persona non grata.

He is perceived as a charlatan.

He's perceived as a murderer

who got away with it...

um...

by manipulating the system.

Yes, one juror held out,
but as far as the election goes,

I take great comfort
from the fact

that 11 out of 12...

were convinced
beyond a reasonable doubt...

that he was guilty of at least
second-degree felony murder.

So, if 11 out of 12 eligible
voters in San Bernardino County

believe that...

he doesn't have a chance.

Josh:

Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes.

Josh:

Well, you know, this is, uh...

this is the most serious race
I've run in.

You don't want guys that have
sort of career politicians.

I think that's my point,
is you don't want...

you want an outsider to come in
and shake things up

because San Bernardino
has gotten to be so corrupt.

And the crime has skyrocketed.
We have crime stats here.

All these numbers,
if you see the...

You can almost look
from a 30,000-foot view,

you see that it's just up, up,
up, and that's all crime.

You know, really a lot
of big problems here, which...

We want to be realistic,

but I'd say a 100 percent
elimination of crime...

is our goal. And that's,
I think, very doable.

We are off to one of my
favorite family restaurants

in the San Bernardino County.

And we're gonna be meeting
with my campaign chairman,

Toni Newman.
Really a brilliant strategist,

a brilliant political mind
who knows the issues

and believes in me
as a candidate,

and, frankly, I...

you know, sees me going
far, far, far beyond

simply, District Attorney.

You know, national office,
national positions.

So, we'll...

- (watch chimes)
- On my way.

On...

(watch dings)

On...

- (watch dings)
- Okay.

We'll be there in five minutes.

- (bell chimes)
- How you doing?

- Mel: Good. Hi. How are you?
- Tim: Good. How are you?

- I'm Tim Heidecker.
- Tim, nice to meet you.

Yeah.
Running for District Attorney.

How's it going? Nice to see you.

- woman: Hola.
- How you doing?

I'm Tim Heidecker.
Nice to meet you.

Running for District Attorney.
Y'all registered voters, I hope?

I'm not wasting my time
over here?

- man: Absolutely.
- Great.

Sorry I'm late.

- Well...
- This is Toni Newman,

my campaign chairm...
chairwoman, chairman, whatever.

I come
from an advertising background,

outside advertising.

I've got about 17, 20 years
in advertising, so...

Tim: Which is ultimately...

You were telling me this,
that a campaign, a candidate,

is essentially a product, is...

Why don't you
bring me up to speed?

Well, you know,
I've just been out canvassing.

I mean, I'm getting signatures
at a rate that concerns me

because it's not the rate
that is gonna get us

to where we need to be,
according to you.

Well, we can't get on the ballot

- if we don't have
enough signatures.
- I understand.

So we need to find a way to...

- We need
to figure out something.
- Well, let's just

put that aside.

Let's put that
on the back burner.

Can we get...
Yeah, we're very hungry.

I have to try
those peanut butter...

that peanut butter
chocolate banana pie.

You know, just sort of
the classic omelet.

- What's the classic omelet?
- waitress: Do you want to do
the four and 20 omelet?

- Yeah, let's do that.
That sounds great.
- waitress: Sure.

What kind of wine
do you have, a red wine?

waitress: Red? We have a Merlot.
We have Cabernet.

- We have Pinot Noir.
- Pinot?

- Thank you so much.
- waitress: Mm-hmm.

Are you registered to vote
in the area?

- waitress: Not in this area.
- Tim: Okay.

'Cause I felt like we had
a connection from the beginning.

Tim: Oh, yeah.

- And I felt like...
- Tim: That was there.

...we should be a team,

that we could put things back
in their proper place.

Tim: Yeah, because you're
from this area,

so you know even more than I do.

- Yes, I'm from San Bernardino.
- And you were talking to me

about the demographics change.

It's not the same city
that I grew up in.

- It's absolutely changed.
- Mm-hmm.

- And it's not safe anymore.
- No.

And you know exactly
what I'm talking about...

- don't you?
- Yeah. Well, I think we all do.

Oh, thank you.

- Tim: That's a big pour.
- Wow.

And you have shown me
just unbelievable graphics that

you've pulled off the Internet,
unbelievable stats that,

when you look
at the Hispanic population,

- Asian population...
- Toni: I mean, you could look

through the newspaper,
and you can...

- Tim: You see it, yeah.
- ...see the crime.

I feel like a minority
in my own city,

- to be quite honest with you.
- That's kind of interesting.

You can't be safe there anymore.

And Rosetti is behind
a lot of this.

It's sort of like this
kind of three-stage thing.

It's, "We have a rat problem."

And I wish you'd give me
a pen that works.

Here, let me give you
another one. "Get him out."

- So, once you get
into office...
- Tim: Well, yeah,

but before that,

acknowledge that we have
a rat problem.

So, we have a rat problem.
That's one.

- Then we set the rat trap.
- Set the trap.

Tim: So, that's... Yeah,
we have a rat problem.

Set the rat trap.

waitress: There we go.
Food coming in.

Tim: But I would like
more specifics.

In terms of setting the trap,

we need to force him
into the corner

to come to the debate,
to come to the town hall debate.

Toni: Yeah, but that's gonna be
difficult to do.

He's not gonna want to interact
with you.

- He's already...
- Well, of course,

because he knows
he would lose the debate,

just like he lost in court.

I love that, sort of,
Rocky Balboa,

you know,
underdog position to be in.

I don't think there's
a better position to be in,

especially when you're fighting
up against the powers

that be of Rosetti
and the machine,

the San Bernardino machine,

which includes people like
Symczyk, who is in that...

is part of that, you know...

He's the other one. He retired.

He got out 'cause he knew
that he ran a kangaroo court.

- Toni: But keep in mind...
- You did hear that, right?

- He retired. He's done.
- Toni: I did hear it.
He's done.

- Tim: He's done.
He got laughed out.
- Toni: He's washed up.

- I know.
- Tim: He got laughed out
of the courtroom.

I heard about it.
We were a team then.

You didn't know it.
You didn't know me.

This is sort of the big reveal.

- I was on the jury...
- Tim: Mm-hmm.

...and thanks to me,
I got him off.

And I got a phone call kind of
out of the blue from Toni.

We met up,
and it was a long lunch,

a lot of gratefulness
coming from me,

a lot of respect for you
and your mind.

I knew that Tim was a guy
that was gonna

- help me...
- Hmm.

...accomplish the change

that I know
that San Bernardino needs.

And I saw the corruption
in Rosetti.

As soon as that man opened
his mouth, I could see it.

The campaign sort of
began then, didn't it?

- Toni: Kind of, yeah.
- I want to know

where the pie is.

Did we forget about the pie?

waitress: Do you want them now
or to go?

Well, no, now.

- Toni: He wants it now.
- I mean, I could eat it

- with the breakfast.
- Okay.

Tim: At some point soon,

we need to kind of address
the elephant in the room

and start getting
some kind of staff going.

I've got some flags out there
and working with people.

- Tim: Yeah.
- It's not easy

to get money, though.

- I mean, we're...
- Toni: I know.

We're less than two weeks out.

Toni: But we don't have
the signatures, Tim.

Once we get the signatures,

I think people will be
more apt to give money

because they know
that you're on the ballot.

Tim: Okay, well,
we're talking in circles

because we need money
to get the volunteers

so we can get the signatures.

But this is what it is, folks.

I mean, this is the grind
of the campaign.

Right now we're operating
on a shoestring budget.

Uh, a lot of it's coming out
of my personal account.

And Toni's contributed some.

We don't want that corrupt,
dark money...

because then I become a puppet
of those people.

We would love the big bucks
through small donations,

is sort of our dream.
Or one big donor.

- waitress: There's the pie.
- Thank you. And I do apologize.

We're just on
a rough schedule today.

Let's get a shot of this.

I mean, this is
San Bernardino right here.

- Toni: Is that awesome?
- Tim: This is how it goes.

You have to create
your own momentum.

You have to create
your own media, really.

- Okay. Hi. This is Tim.
- Yes, I know.

Toni: Tim Heidecker.
I wanted to introduce you.

- Go ahead, Tim.
- Hi, everybody.

This is Tim Heidecker,

running for District Attorney
for San Bernardino.

I'm sitting here at one of
my favorite family restaurants

in San Bernardino County,

about to dig in to their
world-famous chocolate pe...

chocolate
peanut butter apple...

or chocolate peanut butter
banana pie.

Doesn't that look good?
So, let's take a bite.

- Toni: Yum. How is it?
- Mm!

- Toni: Is it amazing?
- I'm gonna come back for this.

This is a great piece of pie.

- I look forward
to meeting with you...
- Toni: What are you gonna

- do for the community...
- Don't interrupt the video.

(indistinct chatter)

I look forwarding to...

I look forward to taking a bite
out of crime

when I become elected
District Attorney...

and we will see you
at the ballot box.

Say no to Rosetti.

We have a rat problem,
ladies and gentlemen.

I am here to exterminate it,
set the rat trap.

We want him out.
We want Rosetti out.

- Tim... go to timheidecker...
- Perfect.

Put that up on Twitter
and Facebook

- on the site.
- Toni: I will.

How about we open
an Instagram account?

Tim: Well, yeah,
we should have that already.

Toni: GoFundMe, Instagram.
Facebook's up.

- I'll work on the billboards.
- Okay. All right.

- Toni: Okay?
- I think that's good.

- You got this?
- Toni: Yeah?

Get that, and we'll deal
with the details later.

I'll see you back at the...
at the office.

- Bye, Tim. Bye.
- Thank you so much.

- Toni: See you a little later.
- Tim: Okay. See you later.

And look for me,
Tim Heidecker for DA.

Mel? Could be a man
or a female, Mel.

- Mel: All right. See you.
- All right.

(indistinct chatter)

Gregg:

Josh: And if you can
just count to three.

- Three, two, one, action.
- Josh: A few more levels here.

If you could just
state your name

and what you had for breakfast.

Gregg Turkington
from On Cinema at the Cinema

and Decker vs. Dracula
and Ant-Man, and I...

Actually,
this is my breakfast, so...

Josh: So, tell me, Gregg,
how did you come

to meet Tim Heidecker?

How did you first
get involved with him?

Well, first I just wanted
to say you're probably wondering

why I chose this park
as a place to meet.

And it's actually
an interesting story.

This is kind of
a historic movie site.

Have you seen
the Oh, God! movie

with George Burns
and John Denver?

- Josh:
- In that spot,

Tracy throws a basket
from far away

and makes it perfectly,
and that's when Shingo thinks,

"Okay, she must be
affiliated with God,"

'cause she couldn't make
that shot otherwise.

So, that's where this... that's
exactly where this was filmed.

Josh: What's your relationship
with Tim Heidecker?

Well, it started out
just as a guest on the show

On Cinema at the Cinema.

(intro music playing)

Hi, everybody.
My name is Tim Heidecker.

And welcome to the first episode
of my new show,

On Cinema at the Cinema.

Congratulations
on the TV series.

Thanks very much.
This is our first episode,

so we're just sort of
working out the kinks

and having a lot of fun
doing it, as well.

Gregg: But then I was bringing
so much expertise

to the show and stuff that,

after the first episode,
I think he realized,

"Why bring in different guests
each week?

Why not just have
a resident expert?"

And so I ended up taking
a bigger and bigger and bigger

and bigger and bigger role
in that until,

finally, that's why people
were tuning in to the show,

was to get
that kind of movie expertise.

Hey, everybody. Welcome back
to another episode of On Cinema.

I'm your host, Tim Heidecker.

He got in over his head,
you know,

with some of his legal troubles
and things

and also the fact
that he doesn't know anything
about movies.

Prepping for the Electric Sun
Desert Music Festival

coming up in a couple...
this coming week, actually.

The good Dr. San and I

have developed
this very special blend,

TCH vape system.

We're gonna be giving away
as much as we can.

Josh:

- For murder, yeah.
- Josh: For murder.

For murder. There were other
legal troubles before that.

In fact, one thing
that was never filed in court

was that he used my credit card

to fund the second season
of Decker,

which was shot in Hawaii.

And he owes me
just under 10,000 dollars.

Strangely enough,
he doesn't have money

to pay me back, but you see

that he has money
for all these other schemes

that he comes up with.

These, like, protein-powder
type products

or something that are supposed
to eliminate germs.

He's got this awful band
called Dekkar,

and they press up thousands
of these CDs, and they just...

I think they take them
all to the dump...

I don't know,
because nobody wants them.

His ex-wife, Ayaka's family,

they financed this movie theater
which he burned down.

I hope he never sees this film
because if he sees this hat...

he's gonna lose it.

He's gonna get so angry
at you guys

'cause he doesn't allow people
to wear movie hats.

Mark, who's a good friend
of mine,

who's also a movie buff,

lost a lot of oxygen
to the brain,

so he was a vegetable.

And we thought he was dead,
but he wasn't dead.

He's alive, but he's in a coma,

and it's all because Tim
didn't get real scuba equipment.

He thought there were only
three Jaws movies,

and I had to let him know
there were more.

He's on Twitter saying
that there's gonna be

a movie called Whale Man.

And if you were gonna
make a movie about a whale,

you would do a Moby Dick movie,

which is already
a successful franchise.

And he says no vaccines. Well,
then little Tom Cruise Jr. died.

And, you know,

it doesn't faze Tim any,
though.

He's right back
with his latest scheme.

He's running for District
Attorney, which is not...

not gonna really happen
because he's not a lawyer.

He doesn't live
in San Bernardino.

Have you seen a movie from 1976
starring Dean Jones

called The Shaggy DA?

Josh:

You should see this movie.
It's a very funny movie.

The character of Dean Jones...
(clears throat)

...is running for DA, okay?

And he has a secret he wants
to keep from the voters,

and the secret is,
he keeps turning into a dog.

You could almost say Tim's...

his whole campaign
is an unofficial remake

of The Shaggy DA

because he keeps turning into
a dog in front of the voters,

except not a dog, more of,
a murderer or an arsonist

or he's unmasked as somebody
who doesn't know anything
about movies

or he doesn't know anything
about the law or what have you.

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
from 1987 with Anthony Newley...

- was actually also shot
in this park.
- (cellphone chimes)

Hold on.

All right, I got to get going.
Um...

Actually...

if you guys want to come along
and see something that...

in light of what
we've been talking about,

I think you'd find
very interesting.

My source said
it's just past the mailbox.

Okay. Here we go.

See, these are children's films,

so that's not of any use
to the archives,

but this is a sealed copy
of Breakfast at Tiffany's,

which actually won
two Academy Awards,

including Best Picture
and Best Actress.

Bringing Down the House with
Steve Martin and Queen Latifah.

This is a great popcorn classic,
one of the funniest movies ever.

A hundred and five minutes.

This is an audiobook.
It does not belong here.

Onto the next location.

This is the kind of thing
that Tim,

since that's what
your film's about...

this is the kind of thing
he would never do.

He doesn't really care
about movies.

You guys know where
to get in touch with me

if you want to discuss
any of this further,

or come by and just film
at the VFA.

Tim: Call...

- Call Gregg Turkington.
- (watch dings)

- (watch dings)
- Come on!

It's Tim Heidecker.
I just got word

that a filmmaker that's been
following me around, Josh.

Has... you contacted him
and you've been

speaking with him?
Is that right?

Gregg:

Hey, Gregg, stay the fuck
out of my movie, okay?

Nobody wants
to hear from you.

This is about
my political career.

This has nothing to do with you.

It has nothing to do
with your fucking movies.

Gregg:

Well, what are you
talking to him about?

What the hell does he
have to do with you?

Gregg:

Well, stay the fuck
away from Josh.

Stay away from his fucking crew,
stay away from me,

and you stay... get...

Gregg:

They are not... No.
That is not...

You're lying to me.
That's not what Josh said.

He said that you wanted
to talk to him about...

- You... you...
- Gregg:

Gregg:

No. Stay out of my life.

- Good luck with the... good...
- Gregg:

All right. Goodbye.
You got nothing to say.

You're a loser. Fuck you.
Stay out of my life.

(clears throat)

Tim: Oh, yeah. That's great.

Look at this.

I wanted it to say, "Houston,
we have a rat problem,"

but we didn't... felt that was
a little confusing.

It's sort of from that,
Ocean's...

Ocean's... What is it?

Apollo 13,
"Houston, we have a problem."

This is, "Houston,
we have a rat problem,"

or just,
"We have a rat problem."

Five thousand of these and then
a little more literature here.

"Vincent Rosetti tried"...

"Vincent Rosetti tried to put
an innocent man in prison.

Now he wants to get re-elected?"

And then it's Roset...
Me, as you can see,

as the exterminator,
Rosetti the Rat.

That's him.
We're about to bring change.

I've talked to you guys
about that.

(grunts) Let's do it.

And my keys are in my room.

Okay, we'll be back soon.

Shit.

All right, let's do the work
we need to do.

- Excuse me.
Can we put this in your window?
- woman: Yeah?

Yeah, go ahead.

Great. Should have brought tape.

Do you have any masking tape

or Scotch tape
or anything like that?

- man:
Right by the cash register.
- Oh, perfect.

That looks pretty good, huh?

Hi, there.

I'm running
for District Attorney.

My name is Tim Heidecker.
My name is Tim Heidecker.

I'm running
for District Attorney.

I'm running
for District Attorney

of San Bernardino County.

Would it be okay
to put these up in your window,

- just one of them? Thank you.
- Sure.

Just wanted to see
if you would be okay with me

putting some of my literature
in your window?

- Okay.
- The message is resonating.

I love the sort of viral,
unorthodox message of,

"We have a rat problem,"
because it gets people talking.

And I think it's...
it's a powerful message.

Once you get down to what
the message is,

you feel the trickle
of the message

spreading across this county,

and that's what's gonna
get us the big win.

- woman: No sign now.
- Tim: I understand.

- I apologize.
- woman: Right. Thank you.

Tim: (sighs) Well,
that's a new one.

If there was a real rat problem
in that restaurant,

then it would be appropriate.

And if there isn't
a rat problem,

then they don't have
anything to worry about.

There we go.

Oh, great.

Shit.

Tim: So, what are we doing
with the...

I mean, are we...
Do we have anybody coming down?

- I'm working on it. Actually...
- Tim: Okay.

You said you were working on it.

I'm working on it.
CNN... We've got CNN.

- Tim: You have CNN?
- I have them on the line.

- Tim: You have them
on the line?
- It looks good. It looks good.

Good. What's happening
with the GoPro account?

What's GoPro?
Oh, you mean GoFundMe.

- Tim: Mm-hmm.
- It's GoFundMe.

I got it set up.

We have a few dollars.
People donated already.

Tim: Was it linked
to the website?

No, it's not linked.

I don't think we're able
to do that.

The donations are based...
Most of the time, GoFundMe

is set up for people who are,
like, sick or poor or starving.

- (telephone ringing)
- Hold on a sec.

Toni:
I really shouldn't technically

- be doing this, but...
- All right, hold on. Hello?

Yes. Hi.

Oh, good. Great. Thanks.

- Okay. I'll be right down.
- Toni: Wait, wait, wait.

- Who was that?
- It's the front desk.

The hats arrived, so...

- The hats? Oh, careful.
- (clattering)

Toni: I think
it's going pretty well.

I've got GoFundMe.

I'm also... I just set up
a profile for him on IMDb.

Do you know what IMDb is?
It's an actors' website.

Have a gorgeous picture,
a couple of videos of him.

It looks like ABC is interested
in picking up our story.

So I'm gonna
keep on top of that.

I had a connection there,

so I did speak
with that connection,

and he referred me
to somebody else.

We're going door to door.
I mean, we're doing everything

- physically possible.
- (knocking)

Oh.

- Is that Tim? Yeah.
- Tim: Toni?

- Hey. I don't have my key.
- Toni: Okay. I'm coming.

Give me a sec.

That was fast. Wow.

- Hi. Yeah. This is it.
- Hi.

How are there 500 hats in here?

Toni: It looks like there
might be five hats in there.

- Toni: Who ordered the hats?
- Tim: You ordered the hats.

I don't remember
ordering five hats.

(clears throat) Yep.
There's one, two, three hats.

There's not even...

- There's three hats.
- I'll have to call them.

Let me put it on my list.
Hold on.

'Cause I think we paid
for those, yeah?

I'll make a call.
I'll send an email,

and then I'll follow up
with a phone call.

Very nice. (clears throat)

Tim: Here.

Toni: Yeah,
it's really nice, Tim.

Mm-hmm. Put it on.

Oh.

(sighs)

Yeah, it's nice.
Yeah, I like it.

- Really nice.
- Tim: Figure out this...

- Toni: Yeah, I'll take care
of it right now.
- There's no point

in five... three fucking hats.

Don't worry about it.
I'll fix it.

- (clattering)
- I just...

(clattering)

Point of three hats are,
one for me, you,

and the volunteer we don't have.

Toni: Tim, there's wine
in the other room.

- Why don't you have a glass?
- Tim: I might have a glass.

Toni: It might calm you down
a little bit.

(door closes)

(watch chimes)

All right,
let's pound some pavement.

- Tim: Hello.
- man: How you doing?

Tim: Good. How are you guys?

¶ (rap music playing) ¶

So, you getting a haircut?

Cool.

Are you a registered voter here
in San Bernardino?

- Yeah.
- Cool.

I want to eliminate crime
from the entire region...

and basically have
a zero-tolerance policy

for anybody that breaks the law.
I mean, it's not that...

I don't want to disrupt
your, uh,

- concentration there.
- No, you're fine, you're fine.

I'd probably not be
so kind on people...

no offense to you guys,

but listening
to that kind of music.

I'd put a clamp down
on that kind of stuff...

just 'cause it's so...
you know, encourages violence.

You know, sort of taking
San Bernardino

back to the good old days.

Okay. I hear that.
Curtain down on E Street?

That's right.

man:

Well... (laughs)

...I know what you mean by that.

But it's complicated.

Things are changing.

All right?

- (bell chimes)
- Tim: Hello.

Running for District Attorney.

Sorry. I do not mean to solicit.

I'm just... free speech,
First Amendment, ability to...

woman:

- I'm sorry?
- woman:

I do have permission. I have...

From the county,
I have permission.

I have permission
from the First Amendment.

Look it up.
It's the Constitution.

I have a First Amendment right
in the Constitution.

I'm not filming you.
Get over yourself.

woman:

You'll vote for me!

Kind of the full screen.

Toni: It is... Oh.
So, I hit full screen and...

- Tim: Then play.
- Toni: ...then "play."

Okay. Got it. Okay.

Okay.

Tim: No.

- Toni: What?
- (Tim sighs)

Press play.

- Press pl...
- There we go. I got it.

man: For District Attorney
Vincent Rosetti,

protecting our community
isn't just a job.

- It's a calling.
- (Tim scoffs)

man: A career prosecutor
with over 23 years

of experience,

he's held thousands
of criminals accountable,

and his conviction rate
in child-abuse cases

is 97 percent.

- Tim: It's not 100 percent.
- man: As for Carlos Sandoval's
record...

- Toni: Mm-mm.
- ...well,

there isn't much to show.

He's spent most of his career
in private practice,

fighting for big corporations.

Vincent Rosetti,
tough on crime,

with a record
that speaks for itself.

I am District Attorney
Vincent Rosetti...

"I am District Attorney
Vincent Rosetti."

- That sucks.
- What the hell?

I don't know.
Is it a good thing or not?

- I don't know.
- I... I don't...

We don't want negative press,

but, you know, you want
an acknowledgement that there's,

that we're in
the arena together.

But any press is good press.
You know what I'm saying?

There's no press for us.

We should put out a statement
about that at least.

Yeah, I'm gonna...
As soon as I get...

Put out a press release from me,
basically...

- (exhales)
- Get this... get this down.

You want the computer off?

No, I'm saying put the...
write this down.

All right, well, do you
have some suggestions?

- What are you...
- I'm telling you

- I want to send
a press release out, so...
- Okay.

All right. Will do.

Tim: All right, ready?

Get a Word document open
or something.

Do you not have Word?

Toni: I don't know where
it is on this.

Let me see. Hold on.

That's to open the files.

(computer dings)

You should have sent this to me
on my computer.

- Write it on your notepad or...
- Oh, here, we got it.

Okay. Documents. Geez!

- Here.
- I'm losing my train

of thought here.
Just make a note.

"To whom it may concern...

I have recently viewed
the Vincent Rosetti attack ad."

- "Rebuttal."
- No. I...

I got it. "Vincent Rosetti."

"I have recently viewed
the Vincent Rosetti attack ad...

which was more full of lies
than...

whatever, a...

Yeah, but it wasn't an attack
against you.

- You weren't even in there.
- No, I know,
but it was an offic...

It was an... It was an attack
against Sandoval.

How about this?
"The recent Rosetti..."

"The recent Rosetti..."

Write that down,
"The recent Rosetti."

What are you doing?

You know what I think
we should do, honestly?

I think that we should leave
Sandoval out of it completely.

- That's what I'm trying to do.
- Yeah. And just go after...

- Listen, just write what I'm...
- Go ahead. I'm listening.

"The recent Rosetti ad
that I saw on YouTube is so...

is dishonest, even for him."

(burps)

"Now that the race
is tightening"...

"Now that the race
is tightening...

we see the rat beginning
to scow... beginning to cower."

Mm-hmm.

Anything else?

No. I mean, all the...

"Visit the website"
and all that crap.

- But we need to get our own ad.
- Yeah. We will.

And we need to get a film crew
down here.

I mean, these guys could do it,
but they say

they're not gonna do it.
I've asked them 20 times.

Why can't they do it?

- They've got cameras.
- They say it's impartial
journalism or some shit.

I mean, he's scared, right?

That's what I...
That's what it's about.

He's scared.

He doesn't want to mention me
in the ad because he's so...

Toni: Oh!

So nervous about the mere
mention of my name than...

He's so...

Here, let me get
a napkin for you.

- Where are the napkins here?
- Tim: "He's so scared."

- Viral campaign that's...
- Toni: Here you go.

- There you go.
- Tim: Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Tim: That's gotten...

Oh, it's on the floor.

Toni: I'm listening to you.
Go ahead.

Tim: I'm saying, so, there is...

If he brings my name, people go,

"Oh, that's the guy
with the 'rat problem' sign."

We can ignore the ad.

We don't have to directly talk

- about the ad.
- The ad is crap.

The ad is terrible anyway,
so it doesn't matter.

Let's just not focus on that.

- Let's just focus on us.
- I'm not worried about it.

- I'm not worried
about it, actually.
- Toni: Are you sure?

Because it seems
to bother you a lot.

Absolutely not.

Should we report that,
though, because...

- report that to YouTube.
- Toni: I don't think you can.

I think he paid for it legally.

- I understand,
but there's factual in...
- Toni: You can't report it.

inaccuracies in there.

It is what it is.
It's out there.

- We, you know...
- Toni: Yeah.

Our preference would be that...

I think our preference is
that we're mentioned in there

because that at least provides
a little contrast.

Toni: That we are?
We're not mentioned.

- It's good.
- I know, but I'm saying

we should... it would be better,
but it's not there.

That's the reality.

Um, you know, we have to just
look at tomorrow as a new day

and do... you know,
get our to-do list going again

and... (burps)

...you know...

- Okay.
- Okay.

(Toni sighs)

- (computer dings)
- (Toni clears throat)

- (computer dings)
- (Toni sighs)

- (keyboard clacking)
- (computer dings)

Toni: That's it. Okay.

- (keyboard clacking)
- (computer dings)

- Toni: Yeah. Yeah.
- (dialer tone ringing)

(engaged dial tone)

Hey, San Bernardino voters,

it's Tim Heidecker,
running for District Attorney.

Here's my new lawn sign.

I hope I get your vote
so we can stop Rosetti.

So we can stop Rosetti.

Vote for Tim Heidecker.

and stop Rosetti.

Tim: Let me get to what I want
to talk to you...

- Toni: Okay. Mm-hmm.
- ...specifically is,

You know, I'm looking
at the calendar,

and I know where we're at.

You know, this is where I'm at

with the petition
for the ballot.

And it's not... I know
it's not what you want to see.

- Um...
- Toni: Oh, my God, Tim.

Yeah, I mean, well, we have...
add 30 from the website,

from the petition we put up
on the Internet, but, um...

Tim, this is not gonna cut it.

This is not gonna get us
on the ballot.

- You realize that.
- Tim: I understand. I know.

We're hundreds away,
hundreds of signatures away.

- Hundreds and hundreds away.
- Tim: I know.

Toni: I think we need to sit
and strategize

about this right now.

- Okay.
- Do you think it'd be possible

that we could have
a little privacy, um,

just a little alone time
so that Tim and I can just...

Tim: Josh, I think probably
a good idea

to maybe
take a five-minute break.

Toni: If you don't mind,
just so we can have

- a few moments
to kind of reset.
- Yeah. We're getting into some

sensitive territory here.

- Josh: Sure. Yeah, you guys...
- Toni: Yeah.

Tim: She's been... Yeah,
she's a little uncomfortable

about being on camera.

- Toni: Yeah.
- Tim: You know?

- Tim: Thanks. Thanks, guys.
- Toni: We really appreciate it.

Tim: And we have a...
You know, if you want

to get something down
at the snack bar or anything,

you can just put it
on the room, all right?

- (door closes)
- They're gonna check
the address.

They're not gonna check
the address.

That was my point, that this is
all just a formality.

- So let's just get into it.
- All right.

John, uh... It doesn't matter.
John...

- Trevor.
- ...Grover.

Trevor Smith.

- Peter...
- That's really close,

so you're gonna need
to mix it up a little bit.

Yeah, I'll change...
Why don't we change pens...

- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- ...kind of randomly?

Toni: So, look.
You see how I varied everything?

Tim: Mm-hmm.

- So you got a Trevor Smith.
- Tim: Put this...

Yeah, but why don't I do...
I'll do some on here.

- Toni: All right.
- Tim: And, um...

Amy... Masters.

- (Toni laughs) There you go.
- (Tim laughs)

Tim: You do one,
and then I'll do one.

- Perfect.
- Jason... Davidson.

How about Johnny Mathis?

- (Toni laughs)
- Johnny Mathis. Tom Cruise.

- I'll make it Tom Cruise Jr.
- Oh, I'd like

to make it Tom Cruise.

What's the camera guy's name?

- Vincent Price, huh?
- (laughs) No, don't do that.

No? Why not? Who cares?

I mean, it's all guys.

- That's my problem.
- Do you have any siblings?

Uh, no. I did,
but she's passed away.

- She passed away
a couple years ago.
- I'll put my

sister's name down.

Joe Estevez. He would have
signed it. He's a friend.

All right, good.
And now that's one, two...

that's 20.

Oh, my God, this is gonna
take us all night.

- All right.
- Oh, my God.

- (Tim burps)
- You better grab another beer.

Another bottle of wine
for me, too.

Where's the wine?

Here you go, baby.
It's all good.

Awesome.

¶ (music playing) ¶

Come on. Come on.

Got to get
that adrenaline going.

Oh, it's...

¶ ("Empty Bottle"
by Dekkar Plays) ¶

¶ This is a job on fire ¶

- Tim: Come on!
- ¶ Gonna come down to ¶

I don't know how
I'm gonna not physically

uh, assault this motherfucker
when I see him.

I have to hold back.

I mean, I'm getting
my adrenaline up,

but, you know, I'm...
Listen, I'm gonna go to him

straight up to his face and say,

"Motherfucker, you are
meeting me in the arena."

I don't know. I don't know how
to predict it.

I think he might take the bait.

I think he might step right into
my trap and actually show up...

We hope he does, 'cause I think
we should hear from him.

He has to answer for his crimes.

¶ I'm like an empty bottle
Drained of everything ¶

- ¶ Left in my mind ¶
- Come on! This is the remix...

This is DKR doing the remix
of Empty Bottle right here.

And this one blew up the charts
on the EDM charts, as well.

¶ Checking out life
On the dark side ¶

¶ Riding down the road
Till the end of time ¶

- Huh! Huh!
- ¶ I'm like an empty bottle ¶

¶ I'm like an empty bottle
Empty bottle, empty bottle ¶

Oh. That's too much of that.
(coughs)

I got to stop for a second.
I can't see anything.

I'm just spinning.

¶ I'm like an empty bottle ¶

Ah!

(chuckles) Ah!

It's up in my spine.

Come on.
I'm gonna fucking punch him.

Just gonna wait for that rat
to come out for his lunch,

for his cheese.

¶ I'm like an empty bottle ¶

We are live,
broadcasting out to you guys.

We are out in front of
the District Attorney's office,

waiting for Rosetti the Rat
to emerge.

I'm gonna confront him
mano-a-mano

and invite him into the arena

so we can get this debate
going tomorrow night.

And he should be out here
for his lunch break.

It's been... He should have been
out here ten minutes ago.

All right, we are...
It's been 20 minutes, and uh...

There he is. All right,
here we go. We're going live.

Hey, Vincent! Rosetti!

How you doing?
It's Tim Heidecker.

How come you
haven't called back?

We've left you messages.

We're challenging you
to a debate tomorrow night

at the Lincoln Suites downtown.

You should join us.

I'd love to talk to you
about the issues.

You have anything to say?

You can't be serious, Heidecker.

No, I am serious.

Why don't you want
to debate me, rat?

- You're a clown, Heidecker.
- You're a clown.

Oh, I'd rather be a clown
than a rat.

- I don't have time for this.
- Tim: You don't have time.

- This conversation is over.
- Tim: Okay.

- Thank you.
- Get out of my way, please.

How come you couldn't beat me
in court?

What kind of DA is that?

- First time in a courtroom me,
first time... Oh!
- (car horn honking)

Folks, Vincent Rosetti,

District Attorney
of San Bernardino,

is trying to kill me.

It's attempted murder
happening right here

in front of the DA's office,
with his Honda piece of shit...

Hey! Are you... Fuck you!

Yeah. Oh, I got that on tape,
scumbag.

I got your license plate.
7-B-N-V-6-0-0.

That is... Vincent Rosetti
just tried to kill me
on camera.

We have it on camera.
He refuses to debate me.

Woo! That was awesome.
You guys get that?

I think Tim's running for DA
because he's just angry

because Rosetti
did a really good job.

The case didn't go the way
Rosetti wanted,

but to the people
that watched it,

Tim was very, very guilty
and looked like a real fool.

He just always wants
to get revenge against anybody.

Like, for instance,
I got free tickets

to the Sully premiere...
not even the premiere,

but the pre-premiere,
like the critics screenings.

He was jealous 'cause he was
probably passed out

somewhere in his vape den.

And then I'm telling everyone,
"Oh, Sully is great.

This is the film of the year.
This is gonna win Oscars."

And he's like, "What's Sully?"

I think if you point it back
at him

with a lot of these things,

turn it around
and point it at him,

and you'll find out the truth.

I saw it in the first group
of 300 people

ever to see Sully.

Tim: We're in a town hall
debate tomorrow

for District Attorney,
if you're interested.

- woman: Sure.
- Thanks. I forgot to put the...

(chuckles) ...forgot to put
the time and date on it.

- So, it's tomorrow.
- woman: Tomorrow.

Yep.

Toni forgot to put the date
and time

on the town hall debate
happening tomorrow.

But it's no problem.
I'm just...

I'm just kind of putting
a little personal touch on it.

Me, Rosetti, and Sandoval

are gonna be talking
about the issues tomorrow.

And I'm looking forward to it.

I don't think
in a million years
I would have thought

I would be standing in front
of San Bernardino City Hall

knowing that I was only
a few steps away from becoming

not only District Attorney,
but hopefully even higher

in the chain of command
within San Bernardino.

So, you know,
it's starting to feel real.

I'm not nervous.
I just feel a sense

of obligation to the community

that I'm doing this
for the right reasons.

There's
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr...

poster... a statue of him,
one of the founding fathers.

Uh, you know, just one
of the people I look up to

and I'm always quoting
and using his message

to get me through, you know,
what I'm going through.

One of the great citizens
of San Bernardino and...

was one of the greats.
Unfortunately, he passed.

But we are always remembering
his words and deeds.

So, I'm gonna go pay homage
to him privately.

- (siren wailing)
- (firetruck horn honking)

Tim: I can feel the energy
coming off something like that,

such, uh, a great icon

of the San Bernardino Valley
and the county.

You know, as I come
to work each day,

obviously I'll be at
the District Attorney's office,

but I'm sure I'll be scrambling
to and fro,

visiting City Hall,
chiming in on new laws.

I'm sure I will stop each time

and pay my respects
to this beautiful fountain,

this rushing water,
reminiscent of the Rio Grande

or the great Mississippi

or any of the rivers
of our great country,

and pausing to reflect
on the message

of Dr. Martin Luther King.

It's fitting that San Bernardino
has such a monument here,

and I'm glad we got to spend
some time enjoying it together.

Josh, if you want to get
your picture taken with it.

Gregg: Hey, guys.

Josh.
What are you guys shooting?

Josh: Uh, just some B-roll.

A lot of cool movies
shot in San Bernardino.

You know Congo?

You'll never guess
where that was shot.

They actually shot
the airport scenes right here

at the San Bernardino Airport...

- Josh: I didn't know that.
- ...not in the Congo.

Kind of cool.

Independence Day, too,
they shot in Fontana.

Josh: Sorry I didn't, uh...
I got your messages.

Yeah. Um,
I wanted to talk to you

about this Shaggy DA thing,
and then, also,

I had this idea...

and if you guys are into it,
we go to a Baskin-Robbins

and shoot me coming out
of the Baskin-Robbins...

- Josh: Oh.
- ...sort of like

as the character
from Ant-Man...

- Josh: Mm-hmm.
- ...just coming out

of the thing. And then I can
talk to you guys or whatever,

be in character.

Josh: Yeah. I don't know
if we can do that today.

- Maybe, um...
- There's a Baskin-Robbins.

I checked. It's about a mile
from here, on 5th.

Josh: We got a lot of stuff
we got to cover today.

We're meeting back up with Tim
in a little bit.

Well, you've got enough of him,
I'm sure.

We've actually
got to get going now.

We have a couple other spots
we have to hit up.

- But it was nice
running into you.
- Okay, well, I'll come along.

Josh: That's okay.

- Manuel: How are you, man?
- Tim: Hey, man.

I'm fucking tired.

- What time is it there, man?
- Manuel: How are you, man?

So good to hear from you.

Yeah. Good to hear from you,
man. It's...

- What?
- Manuel: It's 4:20

in the morning.
4:20 in the morning.

You're probably up partying.

You know, Manuel has...

Because of what happened
with him at the trial,

he's essentially back in Italy.

"I, Dr. San, am only one
responsible for all the death

from the Electric Sun 20.

It is all my fault."

You took an oath,
and you swore before God

- that you would tell the truth.
- Come on.

I'm gonna ask you now
one more time.

Who wrote the letter?

- Tim gave it to me
this morning.
- Vincent: Okay.

He talks like
they're his friends

and says they're his rock
and all this stuff,

but those guys, believe me,
the minute he doesn't pay them,

you don't see them around.

They're gone for long periods
of time.

And then he gets a little bit
of money through some scam,

and then suddenly,
there's Axiom, Manuel,

and they're doing
recordings again.

You are so worried
about this perjury shit

from the trial, that...

it is not something
that they're gonna follow up on

because when you get back here,

I'm gonna be in charge
of that shit.

You know what I mean?

Manuel:

And Axiom's not calling me back,
and he's being, you know...

like suddenly creating a wall
that I don't understand.

Hold on, Manuel.

- Toni!
- Toni: Yeah?

Can you get another one
of these, please?

- Toni: Uh, sure.
- Thanks.

I'm sorry.
I'm doing this campaign,

and we're, like, trying to get
this town hall thing going.

It's like... It's not as easy

as just going down
and playing a show.

- And I'm doing this...
- Manuel:

I'm doing this
with this woman who's...

- What is it?
- We need to talk.

- Okay.
- So?

- Right now?
- Yeah.

- Okay. Hold on.
- Come on out.

- Get off the phone
and come out and talk.
- I can't get out. Hold on.

Manuel, baby, I got
to call you back, man.

Keep rocking, and I love you,
and we'll talk soon.

- Manuel:
- Cheers.

Ciao.

- What's up?
- Well...

- I sort of have some bad news.
- Okay.

I had all of these guys
in the loop,

and they've all pretty much
just dropped out.

Tim: Mm-hmm.

I mean, everything
was in a pending mode.

I can't even get The Sun
to come.

- What do you mean?
- I can't even get

- the San Bernardino Sun.
- They're not com...

- They're not...
- They're not coming, Tim.

- They said they're not coming?
- They said they're not coming.

Why wouldn't they come?
It's a...

- it's an official campaign.
- I know. I unders...

You're telling me they're not...

they've confirmed to you
that they're not coming?

They've confirmed
that they're not coming.

- Ugh!
- They actually sent me

an email
and it wasn't a very nice one.

Hmm.

We're gonna do the best we can.

And what about Rosetti
and Sandoval?

I haven't heard
from either of them.

- They won't confirm.
- All right, well,

I mean, so,
what are we doing tomorrow?

Tim: Toni put the big ad
for the town hall

in the, uh, paper this morning.

(coins clinking)

Last one.

(horn honks)

It's not supposed
to be in Sports. Let me just...

Call Toni Newman.

Hey, Siri. Toni,
I'll bring it back to the room,

but I'm telling you,
there's no ad

for the town hall debate.

The "We have a rat problem" ad
isn't in there, either, so...

Well, that's a lot of money.

It doesn't do us any good
to put it in tomorrow.

You know what I mean?
I'm not saying it's your fault.

I'm saying that
it's not in the paper.

That's the news.

So, I'll be back
in a few minutes.

All right, yeah. Take care.

All right. Love you, too.

She said she put that ad
in like a week ago

and that they needed more...

that she thinks they might have
needed more time,

but that sounds like bullshit.

I'm not worried about it
because print media's dead

and there's not a lot of people
picking that up.

You saw the disarray
that the news stand was in.

Anyways, I don't... That's...

We don't need to use that stuff
'cause I...

I don't want to get her
in trouble.

I don't want to...
It's nobody's fault.

It's just...
There's a lot to do.

(clears throat)
There's a lot to do.

How's that look?

Doing a little debate prep,
a little issue research.

You know, that's pretty much
my day, has been prepping

so I'm as educated as I can be
on the issues of San Bernardino

and also getting to a place

where we have a real
competitive chance to win.

- Tim, where do you want to sit?
- Right in the middle.

Right in the center? Okay.
I'll put you...

I'm gonna put you here.

Why don't we put a couple
on the table?

- What do you think?
- Tim: Oh, on his seat.

- Yeah. Or in front of him.
- (laughs) Yeah.

Let's do it.

We have a rat problem.

- Tim: Yeah.
- (Toni laughs)

I'm getting to the place
where I'm kind of off-book

with this memorizing
all this stuff.

And I got a hundred more
of these books

waiting for me to put up here.

It's going very well.

The energy he had
in that parking lot

and the confrontation
was he wanted

to have nothing
to do with us.

Well, if he doesn't show,
that makes him look bad.

I think the plan should be,
at 7:15, if there's no...

if Rosetti doesn't show
and if Carlos doesn't show,

it becomes the town hall.

- Becomes about you.
- It becomes about me.

That's it.
That's what we want anyway.

- All right, cool. All right.
- Awesome.

I'm gonna clean up,
and I'm gonna head up

- to the room.
- Toni: All right.

- Tim: You want to come?
- You know what?

Let me just tidy up
a little bit.

- I'll meet you up there
in a second, okay?
- Tim: Okay. All right.

(whispers) Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.

It's been an honor to be here
with you guys tonight.

I want to talk to you
about why I'm running

for District Attorney
of San Bernardino.

I'm gonna talk to you
about why...

I want to talk to you about why
I'm running for San Bern...

District Attorney
of San Bernardino.

You know, I'm an outsider.

(clearing throat)
My name is Tim Heidecker.

I'm running for District
Attorney of San Bernardino.

It's good to meet you guys.

Sold-out crowd. Unbelievable.

We know firsthand...
we know firsthand

that our community is suffering
from high rates of crime,

and my idea,
my campaign pledge is to...

is to remove crime,
eliminate crime.

Well, I'm looking
at the world now,

and it's going insane.

Toni: Well, I'll do
a brief introduction

so that it looks really nice
before you come in.

What you got? I got some strays.

- I've been working
on that all morning.
- (laughs) I know,

- let me fix it.
- Are we just saying goodbye
to the debate idea?

- 'Cause they're... I mean...
- Toni: Well, let's give them

a little bit more time.

I mean, they might
still show up.

So, I mean, we're still just
a few minutes over, so...

I mean, we...
Okay, well, it's almost...

- It's 7:12 now.
- Yeah. I...

When are we pulling
the trigger on it?

Yeah, I don't have any messages
from them.

How about you?
Do you have any messages?

No, my iWatch has been quiet.

I think we hit Rosetti
right away...

or not... or either
we're gonna save that

- as the closing...
- Toni: Why don't we do this?

Why don't we go
with the positive first?

Let's make you look good,
make you look amazing.

- Let's sell your points.
- I have one for one.

I don't want to say
"One for one."

I want to say
"Perfect record."

Well, let's just...

- your accomplishments...
- Mm-hmm.

- ...your goals.
- Small business.

You look really nice, Tim.

- Thank you.
- And you're gonna wow them.

Just get your mouth wet.

What do you have? Is it Orbits?

(Toni laughs)
It's your favorite. Of course.

- Great.
- Toni: How'd you know?

- Well, I know you carry Orbits.
- There you go.

Good luck.
We'll see you in there, okay?

- Okay. See you.
- Toni: See you in a minute.

- Yeah. We'll talk soon.
- Toni: Okay.

Hey. This is the movie
I was telling you about,

The Shaggy DA
with Dean Jones from 1976.

It's got total parallels

to what Tim's campaign
is doing right now.

Like, if you watch it, it almost
feels like this campaign

is a remake of this movie.

Um, and it's out of print
on VHS, so I went ahead

and dubbed a copy and then
glued this thing over it

because you won't really
get this anywhere.

It's not on eBay or anywhere.

So, take a look
and see what you think.

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you all for coming.

Josh:

- What are you talking about?
- Josh: Gregg.

Here's here
at the town hall.

(crowd applauding)

- He's in the room right here?
- Josh: Yeah.

- Fuck.
- ¶ Well I'm looking
At the world now ¶

¶ And it's going insane ¶

¶ Thinking 'bout checking out
Can't do it again ¶

Tim: All right. Hey, everybody!

¶ But I know just who I am
How strong I can be ¶

- Get it together.
- ¶ And I know ¶

¶ I'm the only one ¶

¶ Who can help us
Be free yeah ¶

¶ Ah-na-na-na-na-na-na ¶

¶ This country's yours
And mine ¶

Thanks, guys, for coming out.
This is gonna be a good time.

(clears throat) Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen,

for being here. This is, uh...

Well, we're gonna do things
a little differently.

I see you, by the way.

I see that you've decided
to show up,

and it's not...
you're not gonna ruin my night.

Gregg:

Well, save your questions
for the Q&A portion.

Um, I played this song here
that I wrote a few years ago.

How many people feel
that way lately,

it feels like the values,
the thing...

"The way things used to be
ain't that way no more"

is another expression.

And, uh, for some,
for people like you, it's...

it's a good opportunity...
(clears throat)

...but for the original
San Bernardino people...

of the '50s and '60s,

life has not... is getting
a little weird, isn't it?

Anyways, what else did I want
to say about that?

Demographics.

Um, imagine if you had
a candidate who stripped...

who promised on the day one that
we would be eliminating crime.

How many people would vote
for that candidate?

And we're talking 100 percent
elimination of crime.

That's what my candidacy
will deliver as DA.

My name is Tim Heidecker.

I'm a businessman,
a legal expert, an entrepreneur.

I've got several years
of experience in this area.

And I'm a proven leader.

I ran a small business here
in the county,

in Victorville, the...

the Victorville Film Archive
Film Center.

- You didn't run it.
- Tim: Excuse me?

- You didn't run it.
- Tim: I did run it, actually.

- No. I ran it.
- Actually,

this is not a Q&A period
of the show, sir,

so if you wouldn't mind
taking your hat off.

That's strike two.

And I won't be taking questions
from you, either.

I apologize. He's an instigator.

And how many people
have had trouble with Roset...

with Victor Ros... I'm sorry.

That should be
"Vincent Rosetti."

Toni.

But the question is,
where is Rosetti? Where is he?

Where is... What...
He's hiding in some rat hole.

He does not want to come
and face me in the arena.

Okay?

We have a rat problem.

- (cell phone dings)
- We got to ch...
set the rat trap!

And I'm the exterminator.
You know?

So, we're trying
to get that going.

We have a rat problem.

And that would be great
if everybody

was joining in on that.

We have a rat problem.

We have a rat problem.

- woman: We have a rat problem.
- We have a rat problem.

And it's Rosetti the Rat.
He's corrupt.

And I actually have
some experience,

interestingly enough,
of dealing with corruption.

I wrote and produced
and directed and starred in

the great Decker TV show,
currently on hiatus.

And had an interesting character
that some of you guys

probably remember,
President Jason Davidson,

one of the most
corrupt politicians in history,

if you could believe that.
Production always said

how well Decker actually dealt

with the whole
corruption concept.

So I'm way ahead of that,

and we're having a good time
figuring out. So, uh...

you put your hat back on.

Can you take your hat off
if you're gonna be inside?

Thank you. Medicaid fraud...
we have that in the news lately.

I don't know if you've seen
this Medicaid fraud.

We have people taking advantage
of the system.

There's people out there
who are basically vegetables,

who are brain-dead
and who have not...

can't feed themselves.

And then you have people who are
taking advantage of those people

and taking a paycheck
from that experience.

And that's something
I'm gonna be fighting for,

so watch...

- watch out for that.
- Gregg: You're the one
that put them

- in that position
in the first place...
- Tim: Excuse me?

...by depriving oxygen
with a scuba tank

- that didn't work.
- Tim: Now, we're not getting

into the details of that case.
That's a very sensitive case.

And, anyways, we are, uh,
gonna open it up to the floor,

if anybody has any questions.
It is a town hall event.

- Gregg: I have a question.
Why did you...
- Tim: No. I'm sorry.

We're not taking questions
from you.

If you're wearing a hat,

you will not be allowed
to ask a question.

- Why did you say that...
- Tim: Ma'am... Shut up.

Now ask your question.
You may ask a question.

- Indidi: Hello. Good evening.
- Good evening to you.

- So, you mentioned...
- What's your name, by the way?

- I didn't get...
- My name is Indidi.

- Indidi. Indeedy, we sh...
- Yes.

Uh, Indidi, indeedy,
it's nice to see you.

- Nice to see you, too. Yes.
- Indidi.

So, you mentioned
how it's your pledge

to erase crime in the community.

How would you make sure
that defendants

still get a fair trial
while accomplishing your goal

of eliminating crime
in our communities?

Terrific question. Thank you
for asking that question.

It's really nice to get
that kind of brain here,

that kind of thinking,
which you...

you excel in, frankly.

Um...

you know, a little personal,

but I was wrongly accused
of a crime myself.

So, that's one of the reasons
I'm running, actually,

Indidi, indeedy,
is why I'm running.

Um, yes, indeedy,
that is why I'm running.

Uh, represented myself
in court...

and successfully, I might add,
where I was convict...

I was not convicted.

I was accused of something,
but I did...

- Mass murder.
- Excuse me?

Mass murder,
killing 19 people.

It doesn't matter
what I was accused of.

What matters is the truth.

The truth is, the court
of San Bernardino

found me not guilty,

despite the worst best efforts
of Rosetti and his squad of rats

and pigs.

So, my point is,
to get to your question,

I will be fighting
for the innocent.

Now, if you commit a crime
on my watch...

you're going to jail
forever, right?

No more three strikes,
you're out. You're done.

That's the community
we want to create.

But if you're innocent,
let's let...

let's let you be innocent.

Let's not put the courts...
Let's not put you under the...

the heel of just...
of corrupt justice.

- Tim: Anybody else?
- Why did you say that you...

- I didn't call on you.
- I just want to know

why you said that you were
a small business owner

and ran the VFA
when you didn't run the VFA.

- You burned the VFA down.
- I did not burn...

See, that's false accusations.

This is what got me into trouble
in the first place.

- Two times you burned down
the film archive.
- No, that's not true.

That's off-limits,
as a subject goes, today.

Gregg: Well, if you're running
for a District Attorney job,

people should know
that you're an arsonist.

I'm not an... How dare you,
calling me an arsonist?

That's illegal,
what you're doing.

- You're...
- You had ownership

in the film theater,
the Victorville Film Center,

but that's different
than the archive,

- which I ran.
- Tim: That's not...

- I ran the archive.
- That is irrelevant

- to this situation.
- Gregg: I ran both of them.

- Excuse me.
- Gregg: I ran both
the film center

and the film archive,

but you burned down
the film archive.

You didn't run that.

So don't tell these people
you have a small business

in Victorville
because you never did.

That business didn't...
wouldn't exist without me...

- Gregg: You can't even name...
- ...actually.

...three movies
that came out in the 1980s.

I'm not running for mayor
of Movie Town.

I'm running
for District Attorney.

You're delusional.
This guy, by the way,

is, like, obsessed
with collecting old videotapes.

Nobody even watches videotapes
anymore.

Gregg: Yeah, they do.
A lot of people have both.

Do you have a DVD player
or a di...

- what is it? The VHS player?
- DVD.

What do you got, DVD?
You guys a couple?

You didn't run the film archive,
is my point,

'cause you don't know
anything about movies,

so you couldn't have
run a film archive.

What do you... what do you care?
Why are you here?

- You're here to ruin me.
- Gregg: I'm here

because I needed to give
something to

- your cameraman...
- Shame on you.
This guy is a pig.

He's coming... He's driven
in here from Hollywood...

- He's driven in here
from Hollywood...
- Gregg: So did you.

- to disrupt the process.
- You don't live here.

Tim: Huh? I do live here.
I live right here

- in this building.
I am a resident of the...
- Just 'cause you rented

- a hotel room for a night...
- Tim: I'm a resident of...

This is a work-home environment.
And I have my mail coming...

How do I have my fucking mail
coming here...

How do I have
my fucking mail coming here...

- Gregg: You could get P.O. box.
- ...if it's not where I live?

- Rosetti owns a house.
- Stay out of this process.

That's my message.
So, I'm sorry.

I apologize for the use
of the "F" word and, uh...

Yes. Thank you.

I asked him to go,
and he didn't listen.

Fuck!

- Tim!
- I'm sorry!

I'm looking at you
the whole fucking way!

Why don't you ask him
to get security...

- get somebody
to get fucking security?
- Tim, calm down! Calm down!

- Fuck this!
- Toni: You can't use that word!

I just wanted to get that
videotape back on the weekend,

so I'll be in touch
with you guys.

But go ahead and watch it
and then see what you think,

and I'll get it on the weekend.

Okay. Thanks.

Rewind it.

Toni: So sorry, everybody,
for his outburst.

He's been under a lot of stress.

(indistinct chatter)

I'm sorry, everybody.
Thanks. I appreciate it.

You don't understand.
I'm a very passionate guy.

I'm passionate for you guys.

And it's been a lot of...
been a long time...

it's been a long, um,
couple of days, okay?

I am so sorry. (sniffles)

Thank you.

- Can we take some food?
- Yeah.

- Toni: Absolutely.
- Tim: Help yourself.

Toni: Please, help yourself.

Thank you, guys.

We'll get them in...
We'll get out tomorrow

and get down there
and just get out there.

I mean, there's not a lot
of people there,

so it doesn't matter.
It's not like they're gonna...

If it was bad,
it would be 1000 people.

- It'd be everybody
talking about...
- (watch chimes)

You guys are gonna need to take
a piss break or something.

I got to be alone.

Gregg: Oh, it's like,
I told you guys that Tim's nuts.

Josh: Gregg, can you take
your hat off for a second?

- Just the lights.
- Do I need to?

Josh: It's just casting a shadow
on your face.

He goes in there, and he starts
dropping the VFA name

to try to win voters over.

And it's not really fair
to movie buffs

that might think
they should vote for him

that he has something to do
with that archive,

other than having
caught it on fire.

I told you that he was nuts
and you were wasting your time,

and you didn't listen.

And now you're still
wasting your time

'cause you want to talk
about him more.

What you should talk about
is the movies.

But you guys don't seem
too interested,

so best of luck to you.

Tim: All right, well, is there
anybody else I can speak with?

Because...
You know what I mean?

Like, is there anybody above you
I can speak with?

'Cause this seems like...

If they're printed already,
is there not a way

to hold the elect...

I don't know, stop...
like, delay the election

until we can fix the mistake?

Because... So,
what are you telling me?

That I have to, what?

That they... Can they write
my name in at this point?

If I'm not on the ballot,
how am I supposed to compete

if those two other fuckers
are on the ba...

No. I apologize.

If those two guys
are on the ballot, right?

So, you're...
This whole thing... You're...

This board of elections
in San Bernardino County...

I know.
You've won this round, I guess,

but I'm gonna get the word out
starting tonight.

We're gonna start
making phone calls.

Well, that's a little...
too little... little too late.

We're a little past that.

And if you guys would have been
more cooperative

from the beginning and...
then we wouldn't be here.

So, tell your boss
to go fuck himself.

Hello? Yeah.

- Great.
- Oh, Tim.

Tim: You know, it's blank!
(sighs)

(inhales)

Tim.

Okay, we're not on the ballot.

We are a write-in candidacy.
It's an insurgency candidacy.

And that's the news.

So, I'm gonna get some ice.

- (thuds)
- Tim! Jesus Christ.

- (scoffs)
- (door opens)

(Tim sighs)

Oh, my God.

- (pounds on door)
- Tim: Toni?

- Toni: Tim? Tim?
- Hey, I'm sorry.

Toni: You have to calm down,
Tim.

- I'm calm. I'm sorry.
- Toni: Calm down.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Stop throwing things.

I didn't... I just threw a beer.
I'm not being violent.

(Tim sighs)

Toni: I... I...

I don't even know what to say
to any of this at this point.

Tim: Yeah.

Well, I need a little bit
of space right now.

So why don't you, um...

why don't you give me that
right now?

I think I just need...
I need a little bit of...

I need a little bit
of space, so...

Do you want to just give me
a little bit of that?

Of course.

Yeah.

(Toni sighs)

(door closes)

- (sofa squeaks)
- (sighs)

(burps, sighs)

(munching)

man:
...Beginning to get results
trickling in

and will continue to do so
over the next few hours.

We will keep you up-to-date
on local

and national election results
right here on KTIE.

The race that many of you
have your eyes on...

(music playing)

reporter: And just a quick
update on some local races.

In San Bernardino County,

Stephen Zupuato has defeated
the incumbent

Melanie Fisher,
for County Clerk.

And it looks like incumbent
Vincent Rosetti

was able to narrowly defeat
newcomer Carlos Sandoval

fifty-two to forty-eight
percent.

For San Bernardino County
Auditor-Controller,

Richard Davis has defeated

Assistant Auditor-Controller
Oscar...

That's it.

...Reporter Jay Shay-Sibesta
is standing by...

Tim: The winner,
fair and square.

...and will be giving you
updates from...

- Siri, call Riset... Hey, Siri.
- (watch dings)

- Call Rosetti... Call...
- (watch dings)

(inhales)

Tim: I need to...
Can you connect me

to the DA office
in Can Bernardino office?

Hello. Is it Vincent?
It's Tim Heidecker...

calling to concede to you
for winning election...

the election...

and wish you congra...
wish you luck.

And it was a good, hard race.

And you won.

I know that you were behind
many of the tricks

that you screwed me
with getting...

shutting my... shutting down
the press and everything else.

And, uh...

uh... you uh...

you suck, you know?

And you...
you had the easiest case ever

in the history of courts
against me,

and you had the smoking gun,

and you couldn't even
close that.

So, just... You got to sleep
with that shit.

And I'm gonna get you
next election cycle.

(phone clicks)

We're living in a culture
that is more and more about...

what's glittery,
style over substance.

And Mr. Heidecker brought that
into the courtroom.

We don't value substance.
We don't value character.

I mean,
Mr. Heidecker's character,

as far as I'm concerned, is nil.

There is no character there.

I lost my heart...

for the courtroom after that.

Once you lose that
sense of purpose...

I don't care
what profession you're in...

it's time to move on.

Tim: So, this is, uh...

this is it. This is the spot.

It's the site
of the Electric Sun, uh,

20 music festival...

that they've condemned,
but you can sneak in here.

I haven't really been back here
since that night.

This place was a...
was just filled with bodies.

That's, like, my last memory

'cause I was kind of
buzzed myself.

So I was seeing, sort of,
flashes of...

sick kids and, you know...

I don't know how much
you want to talk about that.

(sighs)

You know, shit happens.

It was, you know,
one of those bittersweet things

because it... it was such
a horrible, tragic event

that we would take back
in a minute,

but at the same time,
it got me to this place

where I was able to come out

and get in the ring,
get in the arena.

And, um, as much as I lost,
you know, and didn't...

didn't win,
that's the risk I took.

And that is not something
I would ever change.

I wouldn't change a thing.

If they're doing...
they would have counted the...

the absentee ballots
and everything like that, right,

like, the provisional
ballots and... Yeah.

I fought fair,
I fought honestly,

and you know, I should probably
give Rosetti a concession call.

(sniffles) Um...

You know? I guess that's the...
the right thing to do, which...

You know, I should have done
that last night.

I'm gonna do something,
and you can film it or not.

I don't care.
I just... saw this.

This is for the Electric Sun 19,

who accidentally overdosed
on medicine that was...

that was tainted
by the Chinese government.

And, uh, I'm sorry that I...

that I was in any way connected
with it and that I was a...

a bystander
to the massacre here.

And forever we...

we know that you guys
are looking down on us, and...

you know, we wish you were
with us today.

Let me put that here.

Does this work if I stand it up?

How's this look?
Can you get this and...

Can you get the flowers,

if you rake up from flowers
to me, mountains, sky?

That's your.. probably
your end shot, right?

Dedicated... Something with text

dedicated to the memory
of the Electric Sun 19?

Something like that?

Yup. Okay, cool. Great.
We got it? Cool.

I think that'll play nice
as your ending.

I don't want to tell you
what to do, but if you can

just send me a rough cut

and I'll give you notes, um,
that would be great.

I think you guys did
a great job.

From what I could see,
everything looked great.

I wish you would have gotten
a version where I won.

That would have made,
probably, a more interesting

documentary for you.

But maybe next time
you can follow me around

on my next adventure,

"Whale Man," or whatever it is,
run for governor.

- (watch chimes)
- Tim: Ah! That's Toni.

Okay, I got to call her.
She wants to talk.

But that's just sort of me
and her,

so that's a wrap on this,
I believe, don't you think?

- Josh: Yep.
- Tim: Okay.

And don't use any of that shit
with Gregg, you know...

or the stuff
in the hotel room with the...

Just keep it... Keep it
sort of positive, I think.

Good luck.

¶ Useless ¶

¶ Oh can't you see
That I'd be useless ¶

¶ Without you loving me ¶

¶ Like you do? Used less ¶

¶ Oh darling, now my lips
Are used less ¶

¶ 'Cause you're not here
With me ¶

¶ I walked into a honky-tonk ¶

¶ The lights
Were way down low ¶

¶ The jukebox played
Our favorite song ¶

¶ And it hurt me so ¶

¶ Memories keep haunting me ¶

¶ Oh how long will they last? ¶

¶ I could almost swear ¶

¶ I saw you smiling
Through the glass ¶

¶ Then you were gone ¶

¶ Now I'm so useless ¶

¶ Oh can't you see
That I'd be useless ¶

¶ Without you loving me ¶

¶ Like you do? Used less ¶

¶ Oh darling, now my lips
Are used less ¶

¶ 'Cause you're not here
With me ¶

¶ I slowly drove back
To our house ¶

¶ The dawn
Was breaking through ¶

¶ I walked inside
And then I saw ¶

¶ Old memories of you ¶

¶ My teardrops fell so softly ¶

¶ As I was standing there ¶

¶ My wild imagination made me
Think that you still cared ¶

¶ Then you were gone ¶

¶ Now I'm so useless ¶

¶ Oh can't you see
That I'd be useless ¶

¶ Without you loving me ¶

¶ Like you do? Used less ¶

¶ Oh darling, now my lips
Are used less ¶

¶ 'Cause you're not here
With me ¶