Mississippi Hare (1949) - full transcript
Bugs accidentally stows away on a riverboat. After evading the ticket taker, he takes on gambler Colonel Shuffle. Bugs easily takes all his money, by out-cheating him at poker (he beats Shuffles 5 aces with 6). Shuffle challenges him to a duel, which of course Bugs thwarts. He treats Shuffle to a cigar, and after the inevitable explosion and blackface, does a quick dance to Camptown Races and escorts Shuffle into the Mississippi. Bugs sends Shuffle into the river again with a fake staging of Uncle Tom's Cabinet. Shuffle is dispatched once more up the ship's smokestack. Finally, Bugs in drag enlists the help of another Southern gentleman.
way down south
in the land of cotton
old times there
are not forgotten
look away, look away
look away, Dixieland
I wish I was in dixie,
hooray, hooray
in Dixie land
I'll take my stand
to live and die in Dixie
away, away, away
down south in Dixie
away, away, away
down south
in Dixie
Man: all aboard!
The steamer southern star
Now sailin' for Memphis,
Pittsburgh, Baton Rouge,
New Orleans, and cucamonga.
Get your tickets ready.
Your ticket, sir.
What? No ticket?
We'll have no stowaways
on this boat, sir!
[Smack]
[Splash]
Get your tickets
ready, gentlemen.
Eh, what's up, doc?
Uh, your ticket, uh,
if you please, sir.
Man: ha ha ha!
I've got 3 queens.
What have y'all got, sir?
Second man: 4 kings.
What?!
[Gunshots]
I'm colonel shuffle,
The rip-Roaringist,
gold-Diggingist
Sharp-Shootingist
poker-Playingist
River boat gambler
on the mississippi.
Yahoo!
Is there anyone
man enough
To sit in a poker game
with colonel shuffle?
Well? Be there?
There be.
How many chips, sir?
100 bucks worth, eh?
Stranger, you don't know
what you're in for.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
I've got 5 aces.
What have
you got, sir?
I've got 6 aces, sir.
If and i had 4 feet
and went, "hee-Haw,"
What would I be?
Why, you'd be
a jackass.
Choose your weapon!
Oh! For me?
You shouldn't
have, sir.
No! This is a duel, sir.
Remember, take 5 paces,
turn and fire.
And the gentlemen
wins a cigar.
the camptown ladies
sing this song
doo-Da, doo-Da
the camptown's racetrack's
5 miles long
oh, do-Da dey
I come down there
with the hat caved in
doo-Da, doo-Da
I go back home with
a pocket full of tin
oh, doo-Da dey
goin' to run
all night
goin' to run
all day
I'll bet my money
on a bob-Tailed nag
somebody bet
on the gray
[Splash]
He he he!
What a goon!
Why for did you splash me
in the Mississippi mud?
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
You're just in time
for the big show,
Uncle tom's
cabinet.
Hey, uh, sir,
one ticket left.
Here ya are,
right this way, sir.
Right this way.
[Splash]
He he he he!
What a--
Why did you dunk
my poor old hide
In old man river
When I bought
a low seat?
Uh-Uh, doc.
It's full of water.
Ah, what's cookin' doc?
Well, I seem to be
In a terrible
quandary, sir.
Uh, could you change
a 10-Spot, sir?
I'd prefer a profusion
of pennies.
Uh, you sure
it's a good one?
Lots of counterfeits
around here now.
Ah, well, you gotta
trust somebody.
Uh, let's see now.
$1.10, $1.20,
$1.21...
thank you, sir.
You keep the change.
[Woman screams]
Oh, you beast!
You cad!
It's getting so a girl
can't travel alone
Without you riverboat
nashers getting fresh!
Ooh, ow,
I'm sorry, ma'am!
I'm awful sorry!
Ooh, mighty sorry!
Oh, ooh, ouch!
Mighty powerful
sorry!
Oh, kind soul,
save me!
Save me from that
horrible beast!
What's this?
What's this?
Hey, now, missy,
I'll save you.
Chivalry ain't dead.
I can't allow you
to molest
That little flower
of the south.
Take that, sir!
[Splash]
Did he hurt ya,
honey child?
No, I-- I was just terribly,
terribly frightened.
And you're so big
and so strong.
Why, poor, helpless
little me
Was just lost till you--
Think nothin'
of it, missy.
It was a pleasure,
I assure you.
[Stammering]
[Splash]
Ah, well. We almost had
a romantic ending.
[Looney tunes theme music]
in the land of cotton
old times there
are not forgotten
look away, look away
look away, Dixieland
I wish I was in dixie,
hooray, hooray
in Dixie land
I'll take my stand
to live and die in Dixie
away, away, away
down south in Dixie
away, away, away
down south
in Dixie
Man: all aboard!
The steamer southern star
Now sailin' for Memphis,
Pittsburgh, Baton Rouge,
New Orleans, and cucamonga.
Get your tickets ready.
Your ticket, sir.
What? No ticket?
We'll have no stowaways
on this boat, sir!
[Smack]
[Splash]
Get your tickets
ready, gentlemen.
Eh, what's up, doc?
Uh, your ticket, uh,
if you please, sir.
Man: ha ha ha!
I've got 3 queens.
What have y'all got, sir?
Second man: 4 kings.
What?!
[Gunshots]
I'm colonel shuffle,
The rip-Roaringist,
gold-Diggingist
Sharp-Shootingist
poker-Playingist
River boat gambler
on the mississippi.
Yahoo!
Is there anyone
man enough
To sit in a poker game
with colonel shuffle?
Well? Be there?
There be.
How many chips, sir?
100 bucks worth, eh?
Stranger, you don't know
what you're in for.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
I've got 5 aces.
What have
you got, sir?
I've got 6 aces, sir.
If and i had 4 feet
and went, "hee-Haw,"
What would I be?
Why, you'd be
a jackass.
Choose your weapon!
Oh! For me?
You shouldn't
have, sir.
No! This is a duel, sir.
Remember, take 5 paces,
turn and fire.
And the gentlemen
wins a cigar.
the camptown ladies
sing this song
doo-Da, doo-Da
the camptown's racetrack's
5 miles long
oh, do-Da dey
I come down there
with the hat caved in
doo-Da, doo-Da
I go back home with
a pocket full of tin
oh, doo-Da dey
goin' to run
all night
goin' to run
all day
I'll bet my money
on a bob-Tailed nag
somebody bet
on the gray
[Splash]
He he he!
What a goon!
Why for did you splash me
in the Mississippi mud?
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
You're just in time
for the big show,
Uncle tom's
cabinet.
Hey, uh, sir,
one ticket left.
Here ya are,
right this way, sir.
Right this way.
[Splash]
He he he he!
What a--
Why did you dunk
my poor old hide
In old man river
When I bought
a low seat?
Uh-Uh, doc.
It's full of water.
Ah, what's cookin' doc?
Well, I seem to be
In a terrible
quandary, sir.
Uh, could you change
a 10-Spot, sir?
I'd prefer a profusion
of pennies.
Uh, you sure
it's a good one?
Lots of counterfeits
around here now.
Ah, well, you gotta
trust somebody.
Uh, let's see now.
$1.10, $1.20,
$1.21...
thank you, sir.
You keep the change.
[Woman screams]
Oh, you beast!
You cad!
It's getting so a girl
can't travel alone
Without you riverboat
nashers getting fresh!
Ooh, ow,
I'm sorry, ma'am!
I'm awful sorry!
Ooh, mighty sorry!
Oh, ooh, ouch!
Mighty powerful
sorry!
Oh, kind soul,
save me!
Save me from that
horrible beast!
What's this?
What's this?
Hey, now, missy,
I'll save you.
Chivalry ain't dead.
I can't allow you
to molest
That little flower
of the south.
Take that, sir!
[Splash]
Did he hurt ya,
honey child?
No, I-- I was just terribly,
terribly frightened.
And you're so big
and so strong.
Why, poor, helpless
little me
Was just lost till you--
Think nothin'
of it, missy.
It was a pleasure,
I assure you.
[Stammering]
[Splash]
Ah, well. We almost had
a romantic ending.
[Looney tunes theme music]