Mississippi (1935) - full transcript

~ Roll, Mississippi,
keep rolling with all your might ~

~ Dance, Mississippi,
we're getting along tonight ~

~ While we ride,
be a good river, ease your flow ~

~ Keep your tide,
like a good river way down low ~

~ Roll, Mississippi,
keep giving the rhythm right ~

~ Gotta roll, roll, roll
We're getting along tonight! ~

~ No bottom ~

~ No bottom ~

~ No bottom on this lead line ~

~ No bottom ~

~ No bottom ~



~ No bottom on this lead line ~

~ With a mark four ~

~ With a mark four ~

Come on, Alabam. Rehearse as though
you're doing a regular show.

Put everything you got into it.

~ Roll, Mississippi,
keep rollin' with all your might ~

~ Dance, Mississippi ~

~ We're getting along tonight ~

~ Bom, bom, bom ~

~ While we ride ~

~ Be a good river ~

~ Ease your flow ~

~ Keep your tide ~

~ Like a good river ~



~ Way down low ~

~ Roll, Mississippi,
keep givin' the rhythm right ~

~ Gotta roll, roll, roll ~

~ We're gettin' along tonight ~

~ Gotta roll, roll, roll ~

~ We're getting along tonight ~

~ Bam-ba ~

What are you doin'? Gimme that drink
there. Go away, go away.

What a treat this is, to ride up here
in the pilot house with you, Commodore.

Not at all.
The pleasure's all mine.

How long you been navigatin'
the river, Commodore?

Ever since I took it away
from the Indians. Uh, Hefty?

- Yes, sir.
- Come and take this wheel.

Yes, sir.

I didn't know you were
an old Indian fighter.

Ah, yes. In the old days...

Starboard your helm.

- What are you doing?
- You said to starboard my helm.

Never mind what I told you.
You do what I tell ya.

- In the olden days...
- You don't know how thrilling all this is.

Ah, thank you. My last encounter
with the redskins was over 35 years ago.

- I was a mere stripling.
- Is that so?

I whipped out my revolver...

Revolvers weren't invented
35 years ago.

...to, uh, uh...
I know that.

But the Indians didn't know it.
Doesn't matter. I threw it away.

Oh, how exciting.
Please don't interrupt.

I'd just swum the rapids.

Had my canoe under one arm and
a Rocky Mountain goat under the other.

How could you swim
without the use of your arms?

Uh, uh... in those days,
I had very strong legs.

Uh, excuse me.
Very strong limbs.

You must have been full of fire
in your youth.

I had to carry fire insurance
until I was over 40.

As I arrived at the river bank,

I was encountered by the entire tribe
of the Shug Indians, the most ferocious...

- Have you ever been to Shug Country?
- No, I haven't.

Oh, that's fine.
I unsheathed my bowie knife

and cut a path through
this wall of human flesh,

dragging my canoe behind me.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...

Oh, I'm sorry.
Perhaps I've gone too far.

But what happened to the goat?

He was very good with mustard.

I'm very dissatisfied
with the ensemble of the coryphées.

Joe, there will be no performance
on the showboat tonight.

- No performance tonight?
- No performance tonight.

Quiet.

Quiet!

We're giving the entertainment tonight
at General Rumford's plantation.

It's his daughter's engagement party.

Engagement party?

Be gone. Be gone.
Be gone.

Be gone. Be gone!

An engagement party.
They're probably going to get married.

Uh, probably.
Your deductions are astounding.

- Don't you think marriage is wonderful?
- It's all right for women.

Women are like elephants to me.

I like to look at 'em,
but I wouldn't wanna own one.

- What's that tune you're playing?
- It's brand-new.

- They call it "Swanee River".
- No good.

It'll be forgotten in two weeks.
People can't...

People can't remember the tune.

Ugh!

Suffering sciatica. Water!

You...

~ Soon, maybe not tomorrow ~

~ But soon, there'll just be two of us ~

~ Soon, you and I will borrow ~

~ The moon for just the two of us ~

~ Sweetly and so discreetly ~

~ We'll be completely alone ~

~ No other world ~

~ Only our own ~

~ Now we must be contented ~

~ With schemes about the two of us ~

~ Yet we can have
our sweet set of dreams ~

~ That will come true of us ~

~ For presently and pleasantly ~

~ Our hearts will be in tune ~

~ So soon, maybe not tomorrow ~

~ But soon ~

Miss Elvira, did you do that
because you didn't like my song?

- Because I did like it, sir.
- Hm.

Then how do you like this line?

~ For presently and pleasantly ~

~ Our hearts will beat in tune... ~

Well, I like that one, too.

- Rumbo? Rumbo?
- Yes, sir.

Come here. More bourbon.
Lots more bourbon.

- I done put in two quarts already.
- Put in two more.

- This here's for men folks to drink.
- Yes, sir.

Doesn't it make you tingle all over
when Tom sings?

Nothin' but a tall mint julep
will ever make my old bones tingle.

It appears to me a young man oughta be
takin' up with more important business

right on the eve of his engagement.

When people are so in love,
I guess they naturally have to sing.

Well, things ain't like they were
when Major Patterson was courtin' Elvira.

All he knows how to do is fight.

Well, I guess Tom knows how to fight
as well as sing.

I hope not.

Now look here, Lucy.
I want you to understand.

When a girl as young as you are,
just starting out in life,

begins to talk and spout contrary to...
What's that for?

For you to stand on while you make
your speech, so everybody can hear you.

- Lucy...
- Yes, sir.

...whatever you do,
don't ever be a father.

- There's one thing wrong with this song.
- What?

It doesn't give me a chance to turn,
look you in the eye and sing...

~ I love you ~

Tom, you make me feel so wiggly
when you act like that.

- Elvira, would you like to know a secret?
- What?

About a certain present a certain groom
will give his bride at a certain wedding.

- Oh, what is it?
- It's a song.

A special song, with that line
in letters three feet high.

~ I love you ~

It’d take a lot of shouting
to sing words three feet high.

The way I feel right now,
I could sing 'em about six feet high.

Oh.

- Wait.
- Hoo.

You heard the instructions. Remember,
you do not shoot until I count three.

Are you ready, sir?

Are you ready, Major Patterson?

What is this,
an affair of honour?

Yes, sir. That's Major Patterson
and his brother Joe.

They always killin' somebody
about something.

I guess them two's killed
'bout 40 peoples by now.

Ah, 40 each?

No, sir, 40 between 'em.

How'd 40 people get between them?

Oh, I know what you mean. Fairly peaceful
citizens. Twenty each, I get you.

One.

Two.

Three.

Want those horses to catch cold?
Get out of here.

Awa'.

Elvira, you'd best get yourself dressed.
Your guests will be coming right soon.

Dear me, I had no idea what time it was.
I'll just be a very few minutes.

Tom, I've been thinking about making you
a present, something useful.

- Well, that's very nice.
- How are you fixed for shooting irons?

Shooting irons?
Oh, guns. I haven't any.

None at all?
What happened to them?

I never had one. Philadelphia's
not much of a town for shooting.

Well, dear me, didn't that Quaker uncle
teach you anything but singing?

Oh, yes. I told you
I was studying medicine.

- Didn't you learn the art of duelling?
- Oh, no, sir.

- Or how to handle a pistol?
- Oh, no, no.

How did you defend yourself
on the field of honour?

I don't remember
that I've ever been on a field of honour.

Oh, dear.
Here, Potter.

If you're thinking on staying here, you'll
need something besides your mandolin.

Here. I fetched you that
as an engagement present.

- Thank you, sir.
- I want you to learn how to use them.

- I appreciate them, but I...
- Listen, my boy.

You can't protect your honour
with a banjo pick.

Tom, I heard what Father said to you.

Oh, yes.
Judging from his remarks,

I guess he thinks I'm a cross
between a jellyfish and a canary, huh?

You're something we've never had
around here before.

A man with... with ideals and new things,
and I'm proud of you.

Oh.

Well, thanks, Lucy.

- Tom...
- Hm?

After you and Elvira are married,

you'll be practically
my brother, won't you?

- Sort of one of the family?
- That seems to be the custom.

And a girl like me should love everyone
in the family, shouldn't she?

Yes, she should.

Well... well, don't get scared if I...

if I love you a little more than...

Well, all I can say is
just don't get scared.

~ All the world our own... ~

Cease! Cease!

- ~ Maybe... ~
- Listen to that melodious voice.

~...made our love song start ~

~ Full was the river... ~

- Tom.
- Yes?

You're not dressed.
The folks from the showboat are here.

Young man?
Pardon me, young lady.

- Was that your voice I just heard?
- Yes, sir.

I'm Commodore Jackson.

I can always use a voice of your calibre
on my showboat.

That's nice,
but I'm getting married.

Yeah. Oh, yes. Hm.

Uh, oh, oh.

Gangway, please.
Gangway.

I still say that I can always...

always use a voice of that...
that calibre on my showboat.

Oh, what a lovely bride and groom
you'll make.

Well, I-I'm not the bride.

It's my sister.

- Good evening, Elvira.
- Good evening, miss.

Good evening, miss.

My dear friends,

I have asked you to honour us with
your presence on this happy occasion

because it is my pleasure to announce
the engagement of my daughter Elvira

to Mr Tom Grayson of Philadelphia.

And I invite you all to join me
in a toast to their future happiness.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I take pardonable pride

in submitting for your approval
five of my little children.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Five little piccaninnies that work for me
on the showboat - the Inky Kids.

Inks, do your duty.

Got a head like
a Rocky Ford cantaloupe.

- ~ Little David ~
- ~ Little David ~

~ David was a shepherd boy ~

- What'd he do?
- ~ He killed Goliath and shouted for joy ~

~ Little David, play on your harp,
hallelu, hallelu ~

~ Little David, play on your harp ~

~ Hallelu ~

~ Joshua was the son of Nun ~

- What'd he do?
- ~ Never stopped till his work was done ~

~ Little David, play on your harp,
hallelu, hallelu ~

~ Little David, play on your harp ~

~ Hallelu ~

- ~ Little David ~
- ~ Little David ~

- ~ Little David ~
- ~ Little David ~

~ Play on ~

~ Your harp ~

~ Way down upon ~

~ De Swanee River ~

~ Far, far away ~

~ There's where my heart
is turning ever ~

~ There's where the... ~

- Why don't you join them, Tom?
- Oh, why spoil it?

Won't you, for me?

~ Mm ~

~ All the world is sad and dreary ~

~ Everywhere I roam ~

~ Oh, darkies, how my heart ~

~ Grows weary ~

~ Far from the old folks at home ~

~ All up and down de whole creation ~

~ Sadly I roam ~

~ Still longing for the old plantation ~

~ And for de old folks ~

~ At home ~

We've enjoyed your little nonsense
very much.

Ah, thank you very much.
That's what they all say.

The greatest show on Earth.

And here, here is a little jug of liquor.

Oh, thank you.
A nice little noggin.

It's made right here on the plantation,
so you needn't be afraid of it.

Never been frightened of liquor
in all my life.

Bibam sapiente plena est.

Uh, yeah?

You took the very words out of my mouth.

Very well. Good...

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Keep those lights out.
Oh.

Au re...

Get on that box,
you Senegambian.

Go!

Au revoir...

Quiet, girl.

Viper.

Why, gentlemen. Major, I thought
you were still down river. I sure am glad...

One moment, General.

Before I went away, I declared my love
for your daughter Elvira.

And I was led to believe she regarded
my attentions favourably.

Well, Major, is that a fact?
Why, uh...

Now I learn that you are celebratin'
her engagement to a Northern man.

Why, yes, Major. Elvira's going to marry
Tom Grayson, my ward.

General, our families have been
neighbours for a long spell of years.

- And friends, sir.
- There's never been trouble between us.

Until now.

There's nothing now
to give rise to trouble, Major.

Neither you nor I can dictate
what goes on in a young girl's heart.

Why, she had never seen Tom before.

He took advantage of Hilary's absence
and made love to her.

It's an insult to my honour,
and I demand satisfaction.

I calculate my ward
will be happy to oblige you, sir.

Oh, uh, Tom?

- Excuse me, please.
- Yes.

Looks like you're engaged
for good this time.

It sure does, but I hope it won't
scare away any of my old friends.

Major Patterson, sir,
I present Mr Tom Grayson.

How do you do, Major?
Won't you come in and join us?

- My brother's card, sir.
- Oh, thank you very much.

I'm sorry I haven't
one of mine with me.

Don't you understand
the major is challenging you to a duel?

- For what?
- You've been making love to Elvira.

- Certainly. We're engaged.
- For which I demand satisfaction.

- Excuse me.
- Aren't you a little excited?

Don't you recognise
any code of honour?

- No, sir, not that kind.
- Tom.

Mr Grayson is new to the South,
so we'll have to excuse...

- There's no excuse for not fightin'.
- Name your weapon.

I have no intention of duelling
just because you're annoyed at my luck.

Then it's my right
to brand you as a coward.

You can brand me anything you like.
This is all very ridiculous to me.

- Come on, Elvira.
- I've never been so humiliated in my life.

What are my friends going to think of me
if you won't defend me?

Miss Elvira, may I call on you
tomorrow evening?

I shall be most pleased,
Major Patterson.

Thank you.
General.

Mr Grayson.

I'll never get over the disgrace
you have brought on this house.

I'm very sorry, but...

Don't you understand the meaning
of the word "honour"?

I thought I did, yes, but if it means
killing a man I've never seen before

and against whom I haven't
any grievance, then I don't.

You will leave
this plantation tonight, sir.

Come, Elvira.

Hello, Lucy, honey.

My, but you're growing up
to be a pretty young lady.

- Come in.
- I'm in.

- Hello.
- Hello.

I... I just came to say goodbye.

Oh, thanks. Goodbye.

Anybody can fight.
All the men in these parts fight.

But what I'm proud of is a man
brave enough to stick to his ideals and...

and be true to what's in his heart.

That's what I'm proud of.

Well, you'll probably outgrow it.

I'm not outgrowing anything any more.

- I'm a hundred years old.
- Oh, you're older than that.

Well, everything's packed.

I guess.

- I'll go to the road with you.
- What if your father sees you?

I said I'll go to the road with you.

Well, goodbye, Lucy.

Tom.

Don't look at me while I'm talking,

cos then I'll get all upset inside
and can't talk any more.

Just look straight ahead like I am.

- Are you doing it?
- Yes.

All I wanted to say is

I know you think I'm not grown up enough
to mean anything to anybody, but...

I don't care because...

I love you.

Why, Lucy.

Oh, don't look.
You said you wouldn't.

I didn't tell you before because...
you were gonna marry Elvira.

But now I can say anything I want to,
and I'm telling you

that I love you more than anything
or anybody else in the whole world.

You can look now.
I've finished.

You shouldn't be saying things like that,
a kid of your age.

Why, I knew you'd spoil it all
by calling me a kid, but I don't care.

Will you kiss me goodbye? And kiss me
like you're never gonna see me any more.

Cos maybe that's the way
it's going to be.

Goodbye.

So long...

shrimp.

- Have you made up your mind?
- I'll join you.

Good.

Here.

Sign right down there.

This contract's just a matter of form.

Whenever you get dissatisfied,
we'll tear it up.

Well, it's a bargain.

Well, here's evidence
of my friendship and esteem.

May you be on the showboat
as long as you live.

I hope I prove to be more of a success
than I was at the plantation.

Oh.

That's the spirit, my boy.

Remember, a dead fish
can float downstream,

but it takes a live fish to swim up.

- Well, I'd like to have a drink on that.
- Oh, no more. You've had enough.

Remember your voice.

I'll show you around the boat, give you
some idea of how show folks live.

Well, that'll be nice.

What'd I do with that contract?

Guess I must have had
my other coat on.

This bend here is treacherous, but you got
nothing more to worry about till Memphis.

- Hey, you're whistling.
- Well, what of it?

Well, that's the first time
since you came on the boat.

You're starting to forget, aren't you?

Forget what?

You know.

Personally, I liked her little blonde sister
much better than I did her anyway.

- Where's the commodore?
- Below, playing poker.

You know, she was kinda sweet on you.
I could see that.

Oh, she... she isn't out of school yet.

- Well, she can graduate, can't she?
- Yes, in time.

Oh, the mystery of love -
the way it performs.

Certainly didn't perform for me.

~ Way down upon the Swanee River ~

Let's deal the red ones for luck.

Fine, fine. Splendid idea, yes.

You want those?
We'll throw those away, too.

~ Way down upon the Swanee River ~

You heard that tune on the boat
that fella was singing?

Wait a minute.
Let me cut those cards.

- Oh, yes, I beg your pardon.
- Thank you.

~...River ~

I'll open for a stack.

- I'll call it.
- So will I.

Gentlemen, I'm sorry,
but I've just got to tilt you a stack.

- Well, I'll just call that.
- Call, too.

I'm with you.

- How many cards?
- One.

- I'll take one, too.
- One. Well, well.

- I'll play these.
- Well, well.

You are stingy. I'll take one.

What are you doing up there?
Cut it out!

It's all right, they're just playing with
those knives. I thought they were fighting.

Rogers!

You scoundrel,
where have you been?

I'll bet the works.

I'll call it for what I have.

- So will I.
- I'll just see that, then.

Well, all right, I'll just see it.

Four aces.

Huh?

That's funny.
I've got four aces.

Oh, don't tell me.

There's only four aces in the deck,
and the man that holds the first four wins.

What have you got?

That beats me.

- What have you got?
- I don't know. I've got to look.

- Look. Come on, what have you got?
- What do you think of that?

Ha ha. Just a little pair of deuces.

Where I come from, there's only one thing
they do with a crooked dealer.

Get out!

Be gone. Never darken
my gangplank again.

- I'll learn 'em not to cheat at cards.
- Oh, Commodore, you hurt?

They ain't made the bullet
tough enough to hurt me.

You had me scared out of my wits.

He gets himself into
one shootin' scrape after another.

- Little darling.
- Cut it out.

Go and get me some ham and eggs.
Country-style.

You're gonna eat after killing two men?

Nothing like a shooting affair
to sharpen up the appetite.

If I was ever mixed up in a shooting,
I wouldn't be able to eat for a week.

Ham and eggs?

Tom, you saved my life.
You're the fastest man I've ever seen.

I could make you the quickest man
on the trigger in the whole world.

Well, I... I don't know, Commodore.
I guess I'm just not a killer at heart.

You don't have to be.
Just make 'em believe you are.

Sit down!

See? There you are. Once you got a man
seated, you got him at your mercy.

Sit down!

- Like that?
- Uh, something after that fashion.

Not quite it, yes.

- Is Commodore Jackson aboard?
- Why, I-I don't know, sir.

Is he? Is he?

- Is he or ain't he?
- Yeah, he is, sir, Captain Blackie.

You stick to me, and I'll have you
hunting bears with a fly swatter.

Anything you say, Commodore.

There's Captain Blackie.

Look, here comes a fella now.
Let's make him sit down, huh?

Uh... uh...

Get those matches... Sweep the...
See that they wash the wind... The, uh...

Get... The chairs. Have 'em put the chairs
on the floor there, off those tables.

- How do, Captain Blackie?
- Sit down.

Huh? Oh, yes.
Oh, thank you. Yes, thanks.

- What are you going to do about this?
- Huh? Oh...

Uh, "I owe you..."

"I owe you."

"I owe you $10,000. Commodore..."

That so? That's my signature.
$10,000, huh?

Huh. Oh... I sewed it up, yeah.
Well, that'll be all right.

Um, where will you be, say,
at half past ten, eleven o'cl...

Where will you be at noon tonight?
I mean, tonight. Not...

- Where will you be around 12 o'clock?
- Here.

- Uh, where will you be at one o'clock?
- Here.

Oh. Look here, it's no use
you foodling around.

- I can send ol' Moses over...
- Here!

- That's OK, then. See you here at one...
- Wait a minute.

- Gimme that IOU.
- Oh.

Thanks for calling my attention to it.
Just so that's fair and square.

IOU. Here you are.
Now be careful.

- Don't lose it. Put it in your pocket.
- Just a minute.

$10,000 cash, or I'll take
your boat away from you.

Oh...

Hey, quit that!

- Who's that makin' all that noise?
- Huh?

Oh. Uh, Colonel Steele.
The notorious Colonel Steele.

Notorious Colonel Steele? Never heard
of him. What's he doing here?

Singing on my showboat.
Known as the Singing Killer.

- The Singing Killer?
- Singing Killer, yeah.

Old Indian fighter.
At the age of six...

in order to get through a parcel of Indians,
he reached back, pulled out a bowie knife

and hacked a path through
this wall of human flesh,

dragging a canoe behind him!

- Call him over here.
- Huh?

Call him over here.
I'd like to meet him.

Oh, yes.
Oh, he'd be glad to know you.

Uh... uh, Thomas?

Come here.

Be right over.

Thomas!

Come here.

Come here!

What is all this?

You don't look any more
like a killer to me than a chipmunk.

- Singer, huh?
- Yes, I sing a little.

What's funny about that?

The Singing Killer.

You'd better have that 10,000,
or I'll take this boat.

- You can't do that.
- I can't, huh?

Listen... I don't like you
and I don't like singers.

You'd better not be here
when I come back,

or they'll carry you
off of this boat feet first.

I was just waiting for a signal from you
and I'd have knocked him high as a kite.

Higher.

- I wouldn't go on tonight.
- Why not?

Captain Blackie will kill you.

I could protect you,
only I've broken both my guns.

Here, take mine.

I wouldn't go on anyway,
if I were you.

~ Once we walked alone ~

~ Down by the river ~

~ All the world's our own ~

~ Down by the river ~

~ Maybe the river ~

~ Made our love song start ~

~ Full was the river ~

~ Yet more full, my heart ~

~ So I love you, too ~

~ You and the river ~

~ I'll be there for you ~

~ I and the river ~

~ You will remember ~

~ When you hear my song ~

~ Down where the river ~

~ Rolls along ~

Stop that. Get off that platform
and get off quick.

- Would you please sit down?
- You're asking me to sit down?

Unless you're leaving, yes.
Sit down.

Play that introduction again.

Your piano-playing friend
seems to be a bit jumpy.

I'll help him to keep
his music in place.

- Go ahead, play that introduction again.
- You moanin' hyena.

Every breath you take from now on
will be a personal present from me.

- Sit down!
- You dirty, chicken-livered, yellow...

Get out of here, for heaven...
Agh!

Commodore...

Mother of pearl.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll all
be seated, we'll go on with the concert.

~ So I love you, too ~

~ You and the river ~

~ I'll be there for you ~

~ I and the river ~

~ You will remember ~

~ When you hear my song ~

~ Down where the river ~

~ Rolls along ~

Get me some ham and eggs!

My boy.

Colonel Steele, the Singing Killer!

...hero waiting outside.
- Bah to the hero.

- I'm a-starved to death.
- Me too.

I can't pop this corn any faster.

Shh. Here comes Annabelle.

Did you get it?

Here's the butter.

- Hurry up with that butter.
- Oh, hurry.

Want some popcorn?

What is it?

I guess nobody knows where he is.

This is the third letter
returned from Philadelphia.

Oh, if I could only find him.

- If I could only just hear from him.
- And what if you did?

Girls, quick. Miss Markham,
she's coming up the stairs.

My letter.

I suppose all you girls
are sound asleep.

Yes, Miss Markham.

Oh...

~ Still longing ~

~ For de old plantation ~

~ And ~

~ For de old folks ~

~ At home ~

I see by the paper that the notorious
Colonel Steele has killed another man.

A fella named Harry Rumford.

Yeah, nephew of General Rumford.

- A duel?
- No.

Fella held four aces, and the colonel
didn't like it.

I hear he shoots first
and asks questions afterwards.

But there ain't nobody left
to answer 'em.

They're sure crowdin' to that showboat
to hear him sing, just the same.

- Morning, Abner.
- Morning, Commodore.

- Looking mighty pert.
- What'll it be?

Well, lemme see.

Head, it's a mint julep.

And tail...

- Aw, well, gimme a mint julep, anyway.
- Yes, sir.

- Even all prepared for me.
- Yes, sir.

Gimme a plain sarsaparilla.

- Pardon me, gentlemen.
- Uh...

The lout down there just ordered
a glass of sarsaparilla.

Ha ha. Uh, where did this
Colonel Steele come from, anyway?

- Texas.
- I thought it was Philadelphia.

Uh, was born in Philadelphia,
but raised in Waxahachie, Texas.

Shot a man's nose off down there
many years ago.

- Shot a man's nose off?
- Yeah.

Man had a rather prominent proboscis,
after the fashion of all eminent men.

Stood on the corner,
pulled out a shooting iron,

says, "I'm gonna shoot
that man's nose off."

Shot it off as clean as you could
cut it with a buzz saw.

- Wasn't he arrested?
- Oh, yes, he was arrested.

- Jury was out just one minute.
- What was the verdict?

The verdict? The verdict
was he was the best shot in Texas.

Colonel Steele,
the Singing Killer,

singing on my showboat every night -
the River Queen.

- That's no way to shoot a revolver.
- No?

- First thing you do is relax.
- Relax.

Put both feet on the ground.

Hold your elbow close into your side.
Pull the trigger thus.

What are you doin'?!
Get out of there!

Hefty, get the show together
and take it over to the park.

This is the biggest 4th of July crowd
I've ever seen.

I've engaged rooms for you
over at the hotel.

I see you've added Harry Rumford
to my list of "victims".

He was killed in New Orleans
six weeks ago.

I've never been there
and I never knew Harry Rumford.

- What's the difference?
- It's got to be denied.

- He was General Rumford's nephew.
- Wish I'd known.

I could've gotten your picture
on the front page.

- You certainly got me some fine notoriety.
- Aw, thanks. I'm doing the best I can.

Gangway, please.
Gangway.

Wait a minute. Nobody can run me
out of a card game and get away with it.

That'll teach you
not to pull a gun on us. Thanks.

Had he been a little bigger,
I'd have taken a shot at him my... self.

Shh.

More decorum, please.
This is a public place.

- Good evening, ma'am.
- I'm Miss Markham.

- Did you get my message?
- Yes, ma'am.

Your rooms are waiting for y'all.
Are you remaining long?

No. I'm chaperoning the young ladies
to their homes for the summer vacation.

Oh, girls...

Oh, Colonel Steele.
We must go there tonight.

- He's a guest here in the hotel, miss.
- How thrilling.

That's the man that killed
my cousin Harry. If I ever meet him...

- He's the most handsome man I've seen.
- Come, girls.

- Wouldn't you just love to meet him?
- Yes, I'd just love to meet him.

~ And now we must be contented ~

~ With schemes about the two of us ~

- ~ And yet... ~
- Vin, there's Tom.

What you talkin' about,
honey child?

It's Tom, singing.
I couldn't mistake his voice.

~ That will come true ~

~ For presently ~

~ And pleasantly ~

~ Our hearts will be in tune ~

~ So soon ~

~ Maybe not tomorrow ~

~ But soon ~

Tom, I'm so glad to see you.

Lucy.

Why, Lucy,
where did you come from?

Oh, you look wonderful.

- And all grown-up.
- Yes.

- Aren't you glad to see me?
- Glad?

Gee, I know a better word than that.

Isn't this a night, though?

It's the first time
I've noticed the stars since...

since you went away.

Guess I just didn't bother to look up.

I've thought about that night,
quite a bit.

- Have you honestly?
- Mm-hm.

I remember how you walked beside me
down to the road, so straight,

with your head held up.

You were trying to tell me
not to care about Elvira.

- She married Major Patterson, you know.
- Mm-hm.

Remember how we crept downstairs,
afraid that your father might see us?

I wasn't afraid.

No, I guess you weren't.

- You were a queer little duck.
- "Shrimp" is the word.

Oh, well, you have to forgive that.

What if I reminded you
of all the things you said?

You don't have to.

I said I loved you
above everything else in the world.

Yes, well, I said
that you'd outgrow it.

- That's what you said.
- Well, I knew you would.

A man just knows those things.

Do they?

Yes. A fella...

Well, he sort of...

It's warm out here, isn't it?

- Tom...
- Huh?

If you don't hurry up and kiss me,
I'm never going to...

It's about time.

Why, you little shrimp.

Miss Lucy, Rumbo's downstairs
with the carriage.

- Why, it is Mr Tom.
- Hello, Vinia.

Miss Lucy, don't think you have to go
to that celebration alone.

Not now.

I was thinking it would be nice
if you'd take me.

Yes, but, uh...

But the showboat troupe
is going to perform.

- So I understand.
- Oh, Tom, please.

- There's something I ought to tell you.
- Oh, not tonight. Come on.

There's Lucy.

And who do you think that is with her?

- The notorious Colonel Steele.
- Oh! I've gotta meet him.

Look, there's
the notorious Colonel Steele.

- Would you like to sit down for a while?
- All right.

There they go.

Come on.

Good evening, Colonel Steele.

- Tom, did you hear what he called you?
- No. Oh, yes. Shall we sit down?

- What did he mean by...
- It's better out here.

Away from all the crowd
and these nice, beautiful trees

and comfortable bench and everything.
Don't you think so?

Lucy, there's...

I would've knocked,
but I forgot to bring my door.

- Girls, this is Mr Tom Grayson.
- Oh, I'm so happy to meet you.

Pleasure indeed.

- Tom Grayson? I thought you said...
- Pardon me, what was your name?

- What are you talking about?
- You needn't act so innocent.

Keeping Colonel Steele all to yourself
when everybody's dying to know him.

- Lucy, you know...
- Colonel's the greatest shot in the USA.

That includes Texas
and the Indian Territory.

Tom, these gentleman have come up from
the Apalachicola River to hear you sing.

Gentlemen, Colonel Steele, the notorious
Colonel Steele, the Singing Killer.

I'm powerful glad to make
your acquaintance, sir.

Ah, bevy of beauty.

The colonel is always surrounded
by a group of admiring ladies.

I deem it a privilege to shake the hands
of the man who killed Captain Blackie, sir.

That encounter must have been
well worth seeing.

Battle of the century,
and I'm mighty proud of him.

You must've been proud
when he killed Harry Rumford.

Harry Rumford. He killed so many,
the names slip my memory.

Rumford, Rumford.
Ah, yeah, uh...

Ah, she's gone.

What was the matter with her?

Lucy, are we gonna lose each other again
over a pack of lies?

Lies? I never wanna
see your face again.

There she goes,
still walking fast.

So... Listen, there's the music.
The colonel's about to sing.

- Sure wanna hear it.
- That'd be lovely.

We'll go to the bar.
We can hear it better from there.

Hey, Tom.
There's your music.

You boys go on over.
Order me a mint julep.

- Son, there's the music.
- You certainly messed up my life.

Me? Why, you wouldn't be in the position
you are today if it weren't for me.

No, I should say I wouldn't!

Ah, that's the spirit.
Go up and sing that song.

That's the grit I had when I took out
that old bowie knife...

Oh, all right, I'll sing.

...cut a path through
a wall of human flesh...

dragging a canoe...

~ Your sweet expression ~

~ The smile you gave me ~

~ The way you looked when we met ~

~ It's easy to remember ~

~ But so hard to forget ~

~ I hear you whisper ~

~ "I'll always love you" ~

~ I know it's over, and yet ~

~ It's easy to remember ~

~ But so hard to forget ~

~ So I must dream ~

~ To have your hand caress me ~

~ Fingers press me tight ~

~ I'd rather dream ~

~ Than have that lonely feeling ~

~ Stealing through the night ~

~ Each little moment ~

~ Is clear before me ~

~ Though it brings me regret ~

~ It's easy to remember ~

~ But so hard to forget ~

~ Your sweet expression ~

~ The smile you gave me ~

~ The way you looked when we met ~

~ Easy to remember ~

~ So hard to forget ~

~ I hear you whisper ~

~ "I'll always love you" ~

~ I know it's over, and yet ~

~ Easy to remember ~

~ So hard to forget ~

~ So I must dream ~

~ To have your hand caress me ~

~ Fingers press me tight ~

~ I'd rather dream ~

~ Than have that lonely feeling ~

~ Stealing through the night ~

~ Each little moment ~

~ Is clear before me ~

~ Though it brings me regret ~

~ It's easy to remember ~

~ But so hard to forget ~

I'd like to, but the commodore's strict
about shipping anything in his showboat.

- He just won't let me do it.
- That puts me in a pretty tight hole, Hefty.

Just a couple of cases of tobacco
and some cigar store Indians.

I'd like them put off
at Bell's Landing.

Bell's Landing. Well now, that makes
a difference. We get in there after dark.

All right, Sam.

Worst target I ever saw in my life.

Gotta get a new one.

Commodore, I think you'd better
have a talk with Tom.

Get out of the way,
get out of the way.

I mean right away,
this minute, now.

Look here, you want one of these knives
sticking in your head?

You'd look like an elk running
around here. Get out of the way!

But listen, last night he got a letter.
He's been pacing the floor ever since.

That's fine. The exercise
will do him good. Move over. Look out.

- But he's leaving the boat.
- Leaving? Why didn't you tell me?

Here, you practise for me
till I come back.

Put 'em down! Put 'em down!
I'll do my own practising.

Get these aboard. Take 'em up
to my cabin. They'll be safe there.

What's all this talk I hear
about you leaving the showboat?

Oh.

"Master Tom. That Joe Patterson says
he's gonna marry Miss Lucy."

"I says to her she better send for you
right off, but she says no, sir."

"Even if you don't get this letter,
you better come anyhow."

What are you gonna do about it?

I'm going to
the Rumford Plantation tonight.

Well, be careful. Them Patterson boys
are mighty ornery.

- You want me to go with you?
- I'm not bluffing any longer.

I'll have to handle this myself.

Lucy's got her head full of stuff about me,
and I'm going to straighten things out.

~ Way down... ~
What's this doing here? Get it out of here.

~...down upon the Swanee River ~

- Those Indians still out there?
- No.

That's good, because I was just about
to go out there and box their ears.

Did I tell you about the time I massa-creed
a whole tribe of Indians in Shug country?

- Yes, you told me.
- I didn't tell you the details,

of how I unsheathed this bowie knife

and cut a path through
this wall of human flesh,

dragging my canoe behind me.

What do you pull away
from me for, Lucy, honey?

Why so offish, Lucy?
If I were Joe, I'd quit calling on you.

She ain't quite made up her mind yet.
Have you, honey?

I believe she's in love
with somebody else.

- What if I am?
- Then you are?

No, but if I were,
it'd be my own personal affair.

Elvira, you picked your man.
Why don't you let Lucy choose hers?

Lucy, there's something
I'd like to settle with you.

There's nothing I can ever settle
with the notorious Colonel Steele.

Wait here.

- Where are you going?
- That's nothing that concerns you.

Tom Grayson.

So you're the notorious
Colonel Steele, eh?

- That's what they call me.
- You're not going up there.

What's gonna stop me?

Well...

- What's the meaning of this intrusion?
- Ah, Major Patterson.

- I let you off easy once...
- Sit down!

I'm afraid that you have me
at a disadvantage.

- I'm not armed.
- How do you know I am?

You wouldn't dare address me
as you have if you weren't.

Some more of your code of honour, huh?

Reach for it.

Careful.

Sit down.

Tom, it appears to me
you've gone just about far enough.

Well, I'm sorry if I've intruded.

You asked me to leave here once
because I had no code of honour.

Well, I haven't any yet.

At least, not their kind.

I found out there's some things
a man has to fight for.

That's why I'm here tonight.

If you'll excuse me, General.

I'm sure these gentlemen will.

Lucy.

- Lucy, unlock this door.
- Go away, please.

- This has all been a misunderstanding.
- I don't want to hear any more about it.

- Shall I break this door down?
- You wouldn't dare.

You're coming with me.

Unsheathing my bowie knife,

I cut a path through
this wall of human flesh,

dragging my canoe behi...

...behind me.

Since that time, of course,

I know the red man and his pale-faced
friends have smoked the pipe of peace.

Why, I would no more think now
of harming a hair on a red man's head

than I would sticking a fork
in my mother's back.

Ha. Why, some of my best friends
are Indians.

Shug Indians.

Tom!

Oh, don't let anything on the River Queen
ever surprise you, darling.

You used to call me something
sweeter than "darling".

- You little shrimp.
- That's better.

~ For presently and pleasantly

~ Our hearts will be in tune

~ So soon ~

~ Maybe not tomorrow ~

~ But soon ~