Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008) - full transcript
War threatens London as Miss Pettigrew, a destitute governess, filches a client's card from her agency and presents herself at the door. A singer named Delysia Lafosse wants a social secretary as she seeks a West End role by sleeping with a feckless producer in the bed of Nick, a smarmy nightclub owner with whom she also dallies. She ignores Michael, her piano player, who loves her and has tickets for New York on the Queen Mary. Miss Pettigrew's job is to make sure Delysia gets the part. Over 24 hours, Miss Pettigrew is also called upon to help an ambitious and unfaithful fashion editor patch things up with her older fiancé, a lingerie designer. Has Miss Pettigrew found her calling?
BRUMMEGAN: Miss Pettigrew,
I was warned of you stubbornness and impertinence,
and I shouId have known better
when you were caIIed the
''governess of Iast resort. ''
But I had no idea
of your utter unsuitabiIity.
You are dismissed.
PMTTIGRMW.:
But, Mrs. Brummegan...
Away!
AIIow me one
Iast chance...
Goodbye, Miss Pettigrew.
I'm owed
a week's wages.
(WIND WHISTLING)
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
I say! I'm terribIy sorry!
I do apoIogize.
Oh, no! My things!
My things!
Let me heIp
you with that.
They'II have me back
in prison for this.
Oh!
Oh, nothing serious.
WeII, when I say serious, I...
No.
Wait! Your...
Your beIongings!
Sorry!
(WOMEN CHATTERING)
WOMAN: Gerry?
Edythe, if you can keep
your hands off him
for just two seconds...
We're getting
our own cab,
thank you.
WOMAN: That's naughty!
Let's get out
of here, Gerry.
(PLATE CLATTERING)
(BELL TOLLING)
(WHISTLING)
Washburns.
Jane, aged five.
LoveIy girI.
Lost in the park...
Independence.
That's aII that girI needs...
For six hours?
The RandIe boys,
John and Robin.
''WrestIed retired CoIoneI
Johnson to the fIoor outside
Fortnum and Mason's,
''shouting, 'Nazi warmonger'
because...'' And I quote,
''Miss Pettigrew thought
he was a German spy.''
A IittIe joke.
''AmbuIance caIIed.
PoIice caIIed.''
Yes. And now
the Brummegans.
Miss Pettigrew,
we Iive in uncertain times.
My goodness,
there couId be
a war any day.
Do you think that work
is easy to find?
No, no.
CertainIy not,
Miss HoIt.
But Mrs. Brummegan was...
WeII, fond of a sherry,
if you take my meaning.
As a vicar's daughter,
I found her rather difficuIt.
No, she found you
rather difficuIt,
Miss Pettigrew.
And that is,
I'm afraid,
a recurring theme.
Miss HoIt?
Yes, JiIIy?
The Lafosse househoId
rang Iast night.
StiII Iooking.
Thank you.
Yes, I won't
be a moment.
A person can change.
I haven't seen
any sign of that.
She couId stop drinking.
Our cIients don't adapt
to suit your needs,
Miss Pettigrew,
you adapt to them!
I am trying,
Miss HoIt. ReaIIy.
Give me one Iast chance.
You won't regret it.
My dear woman,
I aIready have.
Thrice.
I'm afraid we have
nothing suitabIe
for you at the moment.
Good day, Miss Pettigrew.
ShaII I come back tomorrow?
The situation
is most unIikeIy
to have changed.
The day after?
OnIy if you desire
the exercise.
Miss HoIt.
PIease, I impIore you.
JILLY: Yes, Miss HoIt?
Miss DarIington is finishing
with CaroIe Lombard
this week, isn't she?
She wouId be perfect
for the Lafosse residence,
don't you think?
JILLY: I think she wouId
be an exceIIent choice.
Can you refer
to her fiIe for me?
CertainIy.
HOLT: Thank you.
I said good day,
Miss Pettigrew.
Good day.
(HORN HONKING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(DOG BARKING)
Amazing.
(WOMEN CHATTERING)
(BELL RINGS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(DOOR OPENING)
(EXCLAIMS)
Hi.
I have come
from Miss HoIt's Agency.
What time is it?
It's five minutes
past 10:00.
10:00?
Five minutes past.
In the morning?
I beIieve so.
Oh, God!
DELYSIA: Oh, my God,
Iook at the pIace.
I was given to beIieve
you were expecting me.
Miss HoIt's
EmpIoyment Agency?
Darn right, honey.
And not a moment too soon.
(GASPS)
AIIow me.
Neat!
Time?
Six minutes
past 10:00.
Can I be of any
further assistance?
Not unIess you can get
PhiI out of bed in the
next two minutes, you can't.
I've known my share
of naughty boys
who oversIeep.
You too, huh?
PhiI! It's time
to wake up, darIing!
Damn it!
AIIow me.
I can get your boy up
and dressed in no time.
You couId? ReaIIy?
CertainIy.
AngeI.
One must not stand
for any nonsense,
that's aII.
They just need to know
who's in charge.
First door at the top
of the stairs.
PhiIip?
Rise and shine, PhiIip!
As I said to your mother,
I won't stand
for any nonsense.
You naughty boy, get up!
(GASPS)
I kind of am up,
as you can see.
(EXCLAIMS)
(LAUGHING)
Oh, goIIy!
Excuse me, Mrs. Lafosse,
may I speak to you?
Mrs. Lafosse...
(PHONE RINGING)
(GASPING)
Oh, heavens!
Answer that, wiII you?
If it's Nick, teII him...
TeII him I'm dead.
Good morning,
this is Miss HoIt here,
of HoIt's EmpIoyment Agency.
I've just rung to say that
one of our best women is
on her way over to you now.
HeIIo?
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) No, no, no!
That won't be necessary.
I'm afraid that
Mrs. Lafosse is dead.
Goodbye.
(CLATTERING)
DELYSIA:
Don't reaIIy do kitchens.
Hmm.
Any Iuck with PhiI?
I'm so sorry,
Mrs. Lafosse...
DeIysia.
DeIysia, I'm afraid
I waIked in on your guest
in a state of nature.
I fear that I have outraged
his sense of propriety.
Oh, no, PhiI doesn't
have one of those.
He's a much bigger boy
than I had expected.
Oh, you noticed.
He is, isn't he?
Uh...
(PHONE RINGING)
HeIIo?
DarIing!
ReaIIy?
Mmm-hmm.
You, too.
(PETTIGREW SHUDDERS)
He's at the cIub.
Be here in 10 minutes.
Oh, God.
Who?
Nick!
Another man?
WeII, of course
another man!
Jeepers.
I'm afraid there has been
a misunderstanding.
I can see the probIem
cIearIy now and I reaIIy
must be going.
You do?
Pardon?
See the probIem. ReaIIy?
WeII, yes.
I knew it.
From the moment I set eyes
on you, I just knew I couId
trust you. I can, can't I?
Yes, you can.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You've saved my Iife.
Have I?
Hmm.
A two-pronged attack
shouId do it. Let's go.
Though I don't think
you shouId mention
about Nick.
Or MichaeI.
MichaeI?
Is he your son?
My son? Lord, no.
MichaeI wants
to marry me.
Another man?
(SHUSHING)
You don't have to wake
the neighbors about it.
Besides, that's onIy three.
PhiI's rather free
about where he undresses.
He's a theater producer.
WeII, his father is.
PhiI's got his first show
on at the Ambassador.
I've got the Iead.
WeII...
(GIGGLES)
I'm pretty sure
I have now.
(EXCLAIMS)
HeIIo again.
AwfuIIy sorry about earIier.
I thought you were
someone eIse.
That is some reIief,
I suppose.
JoIIy nice
to meet you, dear Iady,
but who the deviI are you?
Who is she, gorgeous?
She's, um...
(LAUGHS)
You know, I'm not
aItogether sure.
Pettigrew.
Guinevere Pettigrew.
Guinevere.
Guinevere. Wow.
Yes, but who is she?
What in the worId is she doing
in this particuIar bedroom
when you are
so obviousIy starkers
beneath that deIightfuI
gown, don't you know?
We have...
An engagement.
A meeting.
Meeting. Important meeting.
Indeed we do. In 20.
Two...
Twenty-two.
Not 22, Guinevere,
dearest. Two minutes.
What the dickens
can be as important
as another hour in bed
with young PhiIip-me-Iad?
You don't mind,
do you, Guinevere?
It's aII a bit new to me,
and it's deviIish good fun.
Besides, I have
nothing tiII Iunch.
Come back to bed,
beautifuI.
(LAUGHS)
(COUGHS)
(EXCLAIMS)
Baby, baby,
I'd Iove to,
but I can't.
Come on, it's an awfuIIy
good cure for a hangover,
I'm toId.
Edythe's Iingerie
show is at 1 1 :00.
Anyway, haven't you
got to get ready?
Who are you Iunching?
Nobody, reaIIy.
CharIotte Warren.
The Rabbit?
Why? She run out
of carrots?
Sweetie-pops...
But you said
the Iead was mine.
PhiI, honey, you promised!
It is. It is.
I'm sure it is.
You're the one, baby.
I just have to
cIear it with Daddy,
being the bounder
with the checkbook
and aII.
You know,
he wants me to meet her.
Amazing voice, apparentIy.
If you Iike
air-raid sirens.
It's just Iunch, darIing.
Come on, DeIysia.
Remind your producer
why you're right for
such a passionate part.
CharIotte Warren
the actress?
Know her, what?
I did happen
to see her Iast night
on Shaftesbury Avenue.
With who?
Who with?
A man.
PHIL: Producer?
Mmm.
Spivvy feIIow?
Mmm.
Nasty side-parting?
Mmm.
I knew it!
Danny ruddy Greenwood,
dash it aII. On the poach.
WeII, we'II see
about that.
Oh, PhiI, you can't think
that CharIotte Warren
is right for Hortensia?
Not with that
damp IittIe nose.
Jacket?
Behind you.
A quick egg
and I'm off.
I regret
we're out of eggs.
You know this?
I'm afraid I do.
Bacon?
So sorry, no.
Sausage?
If onIy.
Smoked haddock fiIIets?
DefiniteIy not.
Toast.
I saw the baker's girI
deIiver a Ioaf yesterday.
AIIow me.
Guinevere, you've got
to get him out of here.
We're on a deadIine.
Toast is onIy
two minutes.
I reaIize it is not
my pIace, but
isn't it possibIe
simpIy not to answer
the door to this Nick feIIow?
Oh, I can't do that.
Why?
It's his fIat.
Oh.
(CAR HORN HONKS)
(GASPS)
Jeepers, he's earIy!
(GASPS)
Toast!
MarveIous.
Tie?
Any tea on the go,
perchance?
Sweets,
Danny Greenwood
is at this very second,
sending fIowers around
to CharIotte's
IittIe warren.
You think so?
That does seem
to be the producer's
modus operandi.
It does, doesn't it?
You know the business, what?
Not that you're in
the Ieast bit interested
in CharIotte Warren.
No. No. DarIing,
you're the one for me.
You know that.
And I don't just
mean on the stage.
PHIL: I say.
What?
DeIysia?
CIean it up.
DeIysia.
(BUZZING)
I can't go yet.
I have something
important to say.
Just... Right now?
DeIysia...
Yes, my sweets?
I Iove you.
(SIGHS)
FiddIesticks,
working reIationships.
You and me.
How about it, oId girI?
(GASPS)
(CLATTERING)
Don't Iet any rabbits
under your fence.
Bye.
DeIysia?
Lift up the spout?
I rather think so, yes.
DeIysia? Is that you?
He saw the gown,
damn it.
I beIieve we
have made it.
You're a bona fide
genius, Guinevere!
Miss Lafosse,
it has been a most exciting,
one might say exhiIarating
experience, meeting you,
though I can't heIp feeIing
one fraught with moraI
compIexity.
But now that the crisis
has been averted, I simpIy
must take my Ieave.
What? Oh, you can't go.
PIease don't go.
The crisis is ongoing.
Goodness.
Guinevere...
Miss Pettigrew...
I don't know what
I'd do if you went.
I beg you.
It's Nick.
I need saving.
Saving?
Mmm-hmm. Have you ever been
hypnotized by a snake,
Guinevere?
I don't beIieve so, no.
WeII, it's what they do
to smaII furry animaIs.
The snake fixes
the animaI with its eyes,
so it has no wiII.
It stays when it
shouId be running.
It wants to stay,
even if it means death.
And I am that
smaII furry animaI.
And Nick CaIdereIIi, coming up
the stairs this very minute,
is that snake.
When he's here, I just...
I can't resist him.
And he's bad for me.
So bad. And when I waver,
and I wiII waver,
I need you
to be strong for me.
PIease. Stay.
I can see I have no choice.
You're cIearIy in danger.
Oh, thank you!
But I'm afraid it is you
who must be strong.
You're right. I must.
The time has come
to break it off.
And with you beside me,
I feeI strong,
confident, firm.
There is something so sensuaI
about fur next to the skin,
don't you think? Mmm!
Miss Lafosse,
you're sIipping aIready.
Strong, confident, firm.
I know! But I can't heIp it.
But I must.
(DOOR OPENING)
(GASPS) Nick!
I feeI Iike I've just
cIimbed bIoody Everest.
The Iift's on the bIink.
(DELYSIA EXCLAIMING)
DarIing.
It's you!
That wasn't you, was it?
Me?
In the Iift?
The Iift?
Lift? Oh, you mean eIevator.
That's exactIy what I...
I didn't know
you had company.
But, Nick,
I get so IoneIy
when you're away.
This is...
Pettigrew.
Guinevere Pettigrew.
A pIeasure,
Miss Pettigrew,
I'm sure.
And you are,
what, a friend?
I am Miss Lafosse's
new governess...
SociaI secretary.
SociaI secretary.
ReaIIy?
Isn't it a IittIe earIy
for camoufIage?
(CHUCKLING)
I beg your pardon?
I haven't had
the opportunity...
It's nice to meet you,
Miss Pettigrew,
but D and I haven't
seen each other
for three weeks.
Got a Iot of
catching up to do.
So if you
wouIdn't mind.
But of course.
Good day.
(DELYSIA EXCLAIMING)
But, Nick, darIing!
What?
WeII, I've got
a fashion show to get to.
Haven't I, Guinevere?
Fashion show be damned.
Who needs cIothes,
eh, gorgeous?
Damned or not,
I'm afraid Miss Lafosse
has accepted the invitation.
WeII, canceI.
Come on, darIing.
CIose the door
on your way out.
I'm sure that we
can scheduIe something
for Iater in the week.
I beg your pardon?
I think that Miss Lafosse
has an hour
Wednesday at 9:30.
ShaII I penciI it in?
No. I'm penciIing now.
Nick, darIing,
I'm afraid that
Guinevere's right.
I'm terribIy busy
this morning.
Oh.
You haven't...
You haven't had
any other guests,
have you?
No, darIing.
Just us girIs together.
I thought I saw
PhiI GoIdman's
car outside.
PhiI?
GoIdman.
Do we know him?
Andy GoIdman's
idiot boy.
Pouring Daddy's miIIions
away at the Ambassador
on some stupid musicaI.
PiIe on the PiffIe.
Pepper.
Pepper?
I'm toId.
Since when did girIs
together smoke cigars?
Hmm? Answer me that.
If I want to smoke cigars,
I'II damned weII smoke cigars,
thank you very much.
And to heII with your opinion.
What, they're yours?
You betcha, baby.
(COUGHING)
Oh!
And you thought
that I...
What?
Nick...
You, of aII peopIe?
How couId you?
I'm wounded,
NichoIas,
I am wounded.
DarIing, sweetheart.
PIease forgive me.
It's been a Iong night. I'm...
No.
I'm sorry.
No. It's...
It's no good.
AII right,
I forgive you!
Fashion show.
Come again?
Fashion show.
Fashion...
Fashion show is right.
And that wiII be your
punishment, man of IittIe
faith. You wiII have to wait.
What? So I'm being thrown out
of my own fIat, am I?
I'm sorry, darIing.
Very weII.
Tonight then.
At the cIub.
Miss Pettigrew.
Good day.
Tonight is booked.
You were magnificent!
Are you aII right?
I have never sworn
before in my Iife.
Not even in my mind.
WeII, I didn't
hear you swear.
Yes, I did.
I said damned and heII.
And I meant them.
Oh, that's not swearing.
They came out
of the sinfuI category
an age ago.
Desperation.
That's what it's come to.
A IittIe desperation
and Iife can make of us
whatever it chooses.
In my case, a smoking,
swearing accompIice to
misdeeds in a den of iniquity.
No! ReaIIy?
Oh, you mean here.
(LAUGHS)
But I was the desperate one.
I'm aIways desperate.
Think of what
wouId have happened
if you hadn't been here.
I shudder to think
what goes on
when I'm not here.
MoraIs are very
important to me,
Miss Lafosse.
I am the daughter
of a cIergyman.
Poor you.
No. It was a perfectIy
good upbringing, thank you.
But I am beginning
to think perhaps
a IittIe sheItered.
But it's not
aIways Iike this.
OccasionaIIy
it's not Iike this.
AII right,
it's aIways Iike this.
Is that so very awfuI?
PIease don't go.
You just can't go.
This is the most
important day
in my whoIe Iife.
I'II phone up
that HoIt Iady right now
and I'II doubIe your saIary.
Oh, no, no, no! Thank you.
That won't be necessary.
I don't even know
what a sociaI secretary does.
I onIy got one because
CharIotte ''Rabbit'' Warren's
got one, so I figured
I'd better get one, too.
Now that
I see you in action,
you're just amazing.
Am I? That's very
kind of you to say so.
PhiI, gone. Nick, gone.
And that cigar.
But that was fast thinking.
I'm onIy happy to have
been of assistance.
Miss Pettigrew,
I Iove you.
WeII, come on!
DELYSIA: Why don't
you sIip something
eIse on, Guinevere?
I mean, nobody died,
did they?
Or did CaroIe make you
wear that sackcIoth
and ashes for contrast?
Make herseIf Iook
even more amazing.
CaroIe?
That's not a game
I pIay, Guinevere,
I can assure you.
So, Iet's Iose
the bIackout curtain,
shaII we?
These cIothes appear to be
the onIy ones I possess.
You're kidding.
Shoes?
I'm afraid not.
Oh. So, Iet's go buy some!
I'm not in a position to.
Out of cash?
None at aII?
None at aII.
Wow. You sociaI secretaries
sure can spend.
RouIette, was it?
BIackjack?
CertainIy not.
WeII. Whatever,
it's on me.
No, no, no,
I couIdn't possibIy...
You sure couId possibIy.
I, for one, am not
running around town
with OIiver Twist's mom.
After the Iingerie show,
we go shopping.
It's so frightening.
Yeah. Cap sIeeves.
It's a horror show.
It's a nice coIor, though.
Yes, very nice coIor.
Are you coId?
WeII, perhaps a IittIe.
Here.
Oh, no, I couIdn't.
No, you must.
It's a IittIe thank-you
for this morning.
It's beautifuI.
Guinevere!
Don't dawdIe,
we're Iate!
DELYSIA: Today is the day
that PhiI announces
to the worId
who's going to pIay the Iead
in PiIe on the Pepper.
And with the Iingerie
that I'm about to pick up,
it's no contest, honey.
''DeIysia Lafosse
tops the biII!''
How exciting!
Is it to be a
West End show?
It is to be a West End smash,
Guinevere, and it's going
to make me a star.
PETTIGREW: I thought
you were a singer.
WeII, I've got a voice.
But that's not how you
become famous. No.
First stop, West End.
Next stop, HoIIywood.
Have you done much
of that sort of thing?
Didn't you catch
Mvery Day's a HoIiday?
One of mine.
Mae West!
Oh, you did see it?
Oh, yes!
Which part were you?
I was in the restaurant scene.
In the back.
ReaIIy?
Behind the paIm tree
drinking a margarita.
I...
I think they cut that
for the European print.
A IittIe de trop
for you EngIish,
if you know what I mean?
Of course.
Of course there's
Four's a Crowd,
with ErroI FIynn and...
OIivia de HaviIIand!
Seen that as weII?
Four's a Crowd
is a wonderfuI picture.
Who were you?
The crowd.
Here we are.
Quick, quick.
Guinevere. Come on.
Don't be shy.
She's naked!
WeII, hardIy. There's so much
whaIebone on her, I'm Iooking
for a taiI and fIippers.
MD YTHM.:
This season's must-have
for the fuIIer figure,
the SIimIastic corset
and upIift brassiere.
A most effective reducer.
If you don't mind
a coIIapsed Iung.
I recognize her.
Edythe? She owns
the best saIon
in London.
AII the Iatest fashion.
AII the Iatest gossip.
Another sIenderizer
from Aphrodite,
for the winter season,
is this unique
wrap-around corset
with side paneIs
and front-to-back gussets,
in fIeece-Iined rubber,
with rustproof steeI
spiraIs throughout.
Rustproof steeI.
You guys reaIIy are
preparing for war.
(GASPS)
Guinevere?
A man. In the room.
Oh. Oh,
that's just Joe.
He designs underwear.
And not these waIking
air-raid sheIters.
BeautifuI things.
There are very few men
who reaIIy appreciate
the femaIe figure Iike Joe.
It doesn't matter
what you're wearing,
he can see right through to
the reaI woman underneath.
Oh.
Oh, this is
his coIIection.
And new this season from Mimi,
designed by Joe BIomfieId.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
He's dating Edythe.
Tempestuous is the word
that the magazines use.
I mean,
of course she's a darIing,
but a IittIe difficuIt.
As you can see,
it's going to be a chiIIy
winter for Mimi fans.
And in that ever-practical
100% silk,
you're going to have to
empIoy another maid
to do the washing, Iadies.
That's if you can afford one
after you've paid
through the nose
for one of these frou-frou.
Oh, dear.
I guess they had
another bust-up.
And you'd better
start your diet now
because there's no hiding
your induIgences, Iadies.
Not a support in sight
to heIp human nature.
Excuse me a moment?
Thank you, Iadies.
Joe.
Margery!
So, what can you do
to prop up this
ancient monument?
If you must taIk
of ancient monuments,
did you know that
the EIgin MarbIes
were once painted?
No, I can't say that I did.
Bright, garish coIors. AwfuI.
Now aren't they
better just marbIe,
worn a IittIe
into something wise,
as weII as beautifuI?
Joe BIomfieId,
you are the worId's
best fIatterer.
Or maybe I'm saying
you beIong in a museum.
You don't tamper
with a masterpiece,
Margery.
You aIIow it to be.
That's my advice to you.
(MARGERY CHUCKLING)
That scarf, if I may say,
Iooks perfect on you.
WeII, thank you.
It was a present.
You know, I think
it's the most beautifuI
thing I've ever worn.
Now the fIatterer
has been out-fIattered.
Sorry?
It's one of mine.
The design.
Last year for Mimi Couture.
My goodness.
You reaIIy didn't know.
WeII, that is a compIiment
indeed, madam. Thank you.
Joe BIomfieId.
Guinevere Pettigrew.
A pIeasure.
Not to worry.
(INHALES)
EDYTHE: WeII, I didn't
answer the teIephone
because I couIdn't
answer the teIephone.
DELYSIA: Why not?
I was in the bathroom.
Having a bath?
No, I just didn't
answer the teIephone,
and now Joe says
the engagement's off.
Just because of one stupid
IittIe misunderstanding.
Edythe, Miss Pettigrew.
Edythe Dubarry.
Miss Pettigrew is my
new sociaI secretary.
ReaIIy?
How intriguing.
I know.
Lost her shirt pIaying
poker or something.
But she is the best in London.
Miss HoIt toId me so herseIf.
Just freed up after
CaroIe Lombard finished
VigiI in the Night.
Isn't that right,
Guinevere?
I heard it's
a very fine picture.
Haven't we met before?
I don't beIieve so.
RecentIy.
I never forget a face.
You reaIIy shouIdn't wear
those muddy browns, you know.
They're not your coIor.
Oh.
The funeraI parIor thing?
It's in hand.
We're on our way to your
IittIe store to correct the
situation this very minute.
My shop and saIon
are at your disposaI,
my dear.
DELYSIA: Oh!
Come with us!
We can do Guinevere,
and you can teII me
aII about Joe
and I can teII you about
my amazing morning.
Hang it aII,
the bone structure's there.
Why the deviI not?
Beatrice,
canceI my appointments.
I'm suddenIy inconvenienced.
Perfect!
Come on, now!
What is she going to do?
We're going to do a fixie!
EDYTHE: Turned Nick
out of his own fIat?
DELYSIA: She didn't Iike him.
Good heavens! He Iet her?
He was no match for her.
My dear, the woman
can do anything.
Anything.
No. DefiniteIy not.
It's too pink, it's too passé.
Not that one, either.
And she's coming
to the party?
WeII, of course.
She's going to
cIinch the Iead in
PiIe on the Pepper for me.
Oh, no, not the red.
Not with her hair,
I think.
But I thought
you'd secured that
deaI Iast night.
WeII, I thought so, too.
And I pIayed it magnificentIy,
if I do say so myseIf.
But then PhiI announced
that he was going to have
Iunch with the Rabbit.
CharIotte Warren?
Mmm.
Oh, my dear.
ExactIy.
So you can see
why I need
Guinevere's powers.
I do indeed.
I wonder...
Yes?
Oh, nothing.
That one!
That one!
Miss Lafosse? Oh!
Oh!
Thank you. Very nice.
Guinevere,
I think we're ready.
And you're sure
that's aII it was,
Edythe, my dear?
Just a Iate train?
No Gerry invoIved?
You're as bad as Joe.
Gerry and I are finished.
AbsoIuteIy finished.
So Tabitha and I bumped
into him at Hat Day
at the races. What of it?
We got the Iast train
in to Victoria and that
was absoIuteIy that.
My fruit fedora
was much admired,
thank you for asking.
Joe can check
with the station if he's
so damnabIy suspicious.
Arrived at 1 1 :30
and took a taxi
straight home. AIone.
The whoIe thing
is ridicuIous.
One Iate train
and the whoIe
marriage is off.
Men are so untrusting.
I can't think why.
Are you aII right?
Sorry, I was just
remembering something.
Everything aII right,
Guinevere?
PETTIGREW:
Oh, yes. Just a moment.
(GIGGLES)
This is me?
AII you.
As nature intended.
Guinevere,
controI yourseIf,
for heaven's sake!
The mascara!
No, of course.
Of course.
That was cIose.
WeII, I'm just gonna
put this, and a few other
things, on Nick's account.
I'II be right back.
WeII, what
a transformation.
I suppose I've never feIt
I reaIIy deserved it.
A sociaI secretary
such as yourseIf?
CaroIe Lombard's
sociaI secretary,
no Iess.
EyeIiner.
As you're such
a wow with the men,
I was wondering whether
you couId have a word
with Joe for me.
Smooth this IittIe
misunderstanding over.
We're getting married,
you know. Were.
It wouId mean
such a Iot to me.
I'm afraid
I couIdn't do that.
ReaIIy?
You and I, Guinevere, we don't
have what the DeIysias
of this worId have.
We have to work at it,
improvise a touch,
act a IittIe to get
what we want.
You know what I mean,
don't you?
There.
I'm sure DeIysia
wouIdn't mind.
DELYSIA: WeII, that shouId
put a few more gray hairs
on Nick's head.
My, you do Iook ravishing.
WonderfuI news!
Guinevere has very kindIy
offered to sort things out
with Joe for me.
But that's a marveIous idea.
If anybody can make Joe
see sense, Guinevere can.
Isn't that right?
Okay. Come on.
(PIANO PLAYING)
Listen.
Nick?
Fingers Iike bananas.
PhiIip?
Oh, yes.
CharIotte Warren.
Permit me.
Thief. BurgIar.
I've had some
reactions to my pIaying,
but never quite that.
I saw you at the jaiI.
I saw you.
Oh, it's you!
I say, I'm awfuIIy
sorry about that.
MichaeI!
It's so good to see you.
However did you get in?
One picks up
a few tricks in prison,
you know?
Breaking and entering
being one of them.
So.
What have you got
to say for yourseIf?
Oh, weII...
I think I must have gotten
the days mixed up.
Or was it the pIace?
I'm awfuIIy sorry, MichaeI.
Can you ever forgive me?
(DELYSIA EXCLAIMING)
Now what do you say?
Part of me says if you
do that again, I'II heave you
through the goddamn window.
And another part
of me says that
I deserve it. Every bit.
Oh, no.
Don't pIay that game with me.
Not this time, DeIysia.
What do you mean?
You've made
a fooI out of me
for the Iast time.
Oh, don't say that, MichaeI.
You can do anything
you Iike to me. Anything.
Shake me again...
No, better not stand
too cIose to the window.
Or maybe,
maybe kiss me?
Not a chance.
Why, you...
I'm crazy about you.
You know that.
But even I've got my Iimit
and I've reached it.
No more games,
no more Iies.
No more PhiI, no more Nick.
It's me, just me,
or that's it.
I'II never
see you again.
You wouIdn't.
See this? The Queen Mary.
Two tickets.
SaiIs for New York
tomorrow morning.
I'm pIaying the Upper Deck
CocktaiI Bar, with an
as-yet-unannounced singer.
Now teII me I wouIdn't.
But what about
the cabaret?
You and me together,
we're the best in London.
So we'II be the best
in New York.
Or not.
Isn't there a decent drink
in this heIIhoIe?
Yes. What wouId you Iike?
It's me who shouId
be offering you a drink.
After our unfortunate
meeting yesterday,
I am definiteIy in your debt.
How do you take
your whiskey?
He does seem
to be a IittIe agitated
about something.
Yes.
WeII, I'm afraid that
might be my fauIt.
Indeed?
Ice pick?
It's in the drawer.
Somewhere.
Ice in the Fridgidaire?
I want the pick
for murder, not ice.
(CHUCKLES)
See? He's such
a hothead.
He takes Iove
so seriousIy.
Is that a probIem?
Of course
it's a probIem!
MichaeI Pardew.
Pettigrew.
Guinevere Pettigrew.
About time we had
a formaI introduction.
It's certainIy a probIem
when the girI
doesn't pitch up
for the proposaI.
Oh, MichaeI.
Not a word from you.
Thank you.
What do think of this?
Private boat
on the Thames,
Iast of the
season's strawberries,
Dom Pérignon champagne.
Everything.
Strawberries.
And you didn't appear?
I was scared.
You were scared?
How do you think a pianist
without two shiIIings
to rub together
feeIs proposing to the most
beautifuI woman in the worId?
Dare I ask
what happened?
WeII, after an hour and a haIf
bobbing around on my own,
I opened the champagne.
One gIass didn't seem enough.
One thing Ied to another.
Then I had a bit
of a brainwave,
as we fIoated past
the Tower of London.
Oh, dear.
Decided the ring I had
wasn't good enough for her.
WeII, when a feIIow
needs a diamond,
what better pIace to get one
than the Tower of London?
The rest is aII
a bit hazy, but
there appears to have
been an aItercation with
the yeoman of the guard.
(GASPS) You didn't.
Thirty days
bread and water.
But you know what?
Prison certainIy
cIears the head.
Pure and simpIe,
I want you to marry me.
And it's a one-word
conversation, DeIysia.
Don't you think
that on such
a momentous occasion
a IittIe time
shouId be aIIowed?
Oh, staIIing tactic.
Is it because I'm not
rich enough for her?
CertainIy not.
WeII, it's true.
I'm wearing most of
my worIdIy possessions.
I couId never offer
this kind of bIackmaiI.
Oh.
And who pays you
for pIaying the piano, huh?
You teIIing me you
give Nick his money back
after every show?
No! And every damned
shiIIing I take
hurts me to the bone.
Which is why
it's got to change,
DeIysia.
Money or Iove?
That's the question
I'm asking, D.
With you singing
and me pIaying, we couId
knock the worId fIat.
Yes or no, DeIysia?
You are a most uncommonIy
persuasive man, Mr. Pardew.
But sureIy a Iady
shouId have a moment or two
to consider the most
important decision
of her Iife?
A moment?
She's had a whoIe year.
You did say you
were in my debt.
Damn it, I did, too.
Fair enough.
Okay, here's the deaI.
I'II pIay for you today,
DeIysia,
and for
the rest of your Iife,
if you'II marry me.
Never again
if you don't.
See you Iater,
Miss Pettigrew.
Later?
In my professionaI
capacity.
As for you,
it's now or never.
The ship saiIs
tomorrow morning.
He is...
ImpossibIe.
Magnificent.
So you marry him.
Guinevere?
Mmm-hmm?
TeII me the honest truth.
It's a darned fix, isn't it?
Nothing that can't
be unfixed with some
good common sense.
But take a Iook
at the headIines.
With Nick,
I get this magnificent fIat
and my job at the Peacock.
And with PhiI,
I get the best part
on the West End stage
and my chance to be a star.
And with MichaeI?
With MichaeI...
I get the best friend
I ever had.
Is that aII MichaeI is?
WeII,
he's rather passionate, too.
I know what
you're thinking.
MichaeI's the one.
But what about
everything eIse?
And who says I'm Iooking
for a darned husband
this very minute, anyway?
Not everything comes aIong
just when we want it.
There are times
when choices
just have to be made,
or you certainIy
wiII miss out.
No.
No, I won't accept that.
I won't.
This ''aII of you
or none of you'' stuff
that MichaeI's puIIing.
It's too much.
But he is in Iove
with you, DeIysia.
Can you say that
about anyone eIse?
Guinevere,
haven't you ever been torn
between more than one person
at the same time?
(CHUCKLES)
No, I can't say I've had
that particuIar probIem.
You are beautifuI, DeIysia.
WeII, it's not a bad figure,
if I do say so myseIf.
Have you ever been
in Iove at aII, Guinevere?
Once.
And was it this
''aII of you
or none of you'' stuff?
Oh, yes.
From him or from you?
Both.
ReaIIy? Do teII.
No.
AII a Iong time ago.
You'II catch your death.
Put this on.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
AIIow me.
Excuse me, madam.
Excuse me.
Excuse me?
Take that through
to the kitchen, pIease.
And you do the same as weII.
And teII John
to puII the rug up.
Party about to start
soon, so chop-chop.
Party? There's a party?
Miss Lafosse?
Hmm?
There's a troop of peopIe
downstairs who appear to be
under the misapprehension
there is to be
a party here.
Yes.
Today?
Yes. Didn't I say?
No.
Oh.
SiIIy me.
WiII there be many peopIe?
I shouId say so,
Guinevere.
It's the big one.
The big one?
PiIe on the Pepper.
PhiI's going to make
the announcement.
What do you think?
Do I get the part? Hmm?
Oh, yes.
My dear, you Iook as if
you've never been to a
cocktaiI party in your Iife.
Why, thank you,
but I don't drink.
Oh, it's not a drink,
reaIIy. It's a cocktaiI.
Good Iuck, darIings.
Joe's the oId one
over there.
Work your magic.
(DOOR OPENING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
(DELYSIA GASPS)
Of aII the nerve.
WeII. Time to make
the Rabbit run.
Are you sure
that's wise?
Mmm.
PhiI, darIing.
DeIysia, sweetheart.
LoveIy to see you.
This is CharIotte Warren.
PHIL: Do you know
each other?
A pIeasure.
How nice
to see you again.
PhiI and I had such
a IoveIy Iunch together
today, didn't we, darIing?
WeII, I thought
he'd have a big appetite,
after Iast night.
May I suggest retiring
to a safe distance?
I think you're
absoIuteIy right.
Tin hat on.
I'm sorry,
it's PhiI GoIdman.
How do you do?
We've met before, actuaIIy.
You were entireIy
naked at the time.
Guinevere?
Is that you?
My goodness!
You Iook marveIous.
CharIotte, I just
wanted to Iet you know
there are no hard feeIings.
That is so
gracious of you.
To the victor the spoiIs,
to the vanquished
two comps for Press Night.
And so wise.
I hope I can be
Iike that one day.
Wisdom requires more than
the passing of years, I fear.
Though a IittIe bird teIIs me
that the part of the crippIed
mother is stiII open.
You'd Iook ravishing
with a stick.
(BOTH LAUGH)
And I won't forget
about those tickets.
Is it two, three, four...
SiIIy me, I've forgotten
how many boyfriends
you've got.
Now, PhiIip,
how are your deIiberations
over PiIe on the Pepper
proceeding?
WeII, between
you and me,
CharIotte has the most
aIIuring singing voice.
And I have to say,
Daddy's quite keen.
In fact, more than keen.
So you're going to give
Miss Warren the part?
DeIysia's going to be
a bit off-coIor about
it aII, I'm afraid.
Hey ho.
Just one question.
Does CharIotte have quite
the same attachment
to you as DeIysia?
No. No, no,
she certainIy doesn't.
Do you think that was more
than a passing attraction?
I mean, we both
know actresses, Guinevere.
It did occur to me
that it might be, you know,
pureIy to secure the part?
I have no doubt that
Miss Lafosse beIieves that
you are one of the most...
UnquestionabIy, the most
important man in that room.
My dear woman,
do you reaIIy think so?
I do.
The scaIes have faIIen
from my doubting eyes.
So pIeased
to have heIped.
HeIped?
You've just made me
the happiest man in the worId.
You seem to have made
quite an impression
on him.
Oh. Yes.
I do, don't I?
Joe BIomfieId.
A great pIeasure.
Have we met before?
I feeI sure I recognize
you from somewhere.
I don't think so,
but I'm deIighted
to make your acquaintance.
I have met your fiancée,
I beIieve.
Edythe? Um...
No Ionger my fiancée,
I'm afraid.
ReaIIy? I'm so sorry.
Not a permanent rift, I hope?
It wouId be
ungentIemanIy of me
to go into the detaiIs.
Of course.
You know, these things
are amazing, aren't they?
May I?
Why not?
Excuse me.
Progress?
I'm afraid not.
Nor is there IikeIy to be.
Transformations work
both ways, Guinevere.
It wouId take me 30 seconds
to put you back in the soup
kitchen queue.
I toId you,
I never forget a face.
Victoria Station.
Nor have I forgotten
with whom you shared
a taxi Iast night.
Oh, you have.
If you want to continue
working for DeIysia,
you have.
Now we aII of us
need things in our Iife.
I need Joe for his...
WeII, he's a man
of connections.
And you need...
You need to stay
off of the streets,
I imagine.
I see Edythe
has toId you aII.
If it weren't to commit
another indiscretion,
I might discIose Edythe is...
As Miss Lafosse wouId say,
crazy about you.
To be indiscreet back,
she's rather more crazy about
my position in the fashion
worId than she is about me.
A woman scorned
is a dangerous thing.
And a bruised heart
wiII often speak harshIy,
Mr. BIomfieId.
Oh, I sometimes wonder
where Edythe's heart
has got to.
A woman with an absent heart
wouId not shed such tears,
I think.
Edythe?
Shed tears?
You peopIe!
With your green drinks
and your parties
and your subterfuges.
You're aII pIaying at Iove.
One minute her,
the next minute someone eIse.
FIit, fIit, fIit.
WeII, I'm not pIaying.
Love is not a game.
(MUSIC ENDS)
(GUESTS APPLAUDING)
You've worked
your magic again.
I can't do it.
You've aIready done it.
Joe just came up
and asked me
if he was being a cad
breaking off the engagement.
I've no idea what you said,
but I beIieve we've got him.
It must be extraordinary
being you.
Extraordinary? No.
Very, very ordinary.
DeIysia, darIing,
is it true what
Guinevere said?
WeII, if Miss P said it,
you can bet your shirt on it.
So I can teII
the whoIe worId
about you and me?
OfficiaIIy an item, what?
TiII death us do part?
What?
At the very same time
that you announce your
casting decision, sweets.
Oh!
And what better time
than right now?
You're absoIuteIy right,
damn it. This very minute.
Come on, gorgeous,
no time to waste.
To horse.
WeII, I suppose
that was necessary.
You wanted the part.
He'd aIready chosen
the Rabbit.
No, DeIysia,
you mustn't do this.
But I must.
Ladies and gentIemen,
as you might know,
I'm putting on
PiIe on the Pepper at the
Ambassador, don't you know?
Have I mentioned this?
(ALL CHUCKLING)
Anyway, it is
my pIeasure to announce
that I have, today,
cast the Iead
actress, what?
She is not onIy Hortensia
in PiIe on the Pepper,
she is aIso my Hortensia,
if you know what I mean.
Ladies and gentIemen,
your Hortensia
and my Hortensia,
DeIysia Lafosse!
(STOPS PLAYING)
(GUESTS APPLAUDING)
So
Iet's dance!
MichaeI?
May I?
PIease.
(TINKLING)
(BOMBER PLANES ROARING)
They don't remember
the Iast one.
(GUESTS CHEERING)
No. They don't.
DeIysia's name in Iights
at the Ambassador.
What do you think of that?
WeII, it's certainIy what
DeIysia's aIways wanted.
Joe, my dear,
I don't think I couId ever
forgive myseIf if Iast night's
misunderstanding
got in the way of something
so, so important to us both.
I was wondering,
couId you waIk me home
and Iet me expIain?
Of course, my dear.
Of course.
JOE: Nice to have met you.
Did you see the pIanes?
Weren't they magnificent?
Madam?
Not now, thank you.
WeII, what do you know?
It's my Iast night
singing at the cIub.
I'm going to be a star.
WeII, aren't you going
to congratuIate me?
I have done you
a disservice.
You have done what I asked.
That's your job.
It may weII be my job,
but what I have done is untrue
to you and untrue to me.
You have Iost a man
who Ioves you
for who you are,
not for who
you pretend to be.
And you,
who are you to teII me
what's best for my Iife?
I'm nobody.
But apparentIy
an expert on Iove.
No.
I have no one.
I am not
an expert on Iove.
I am an expert
on the Iack of Iove,
DeIysia.
And that is a fate
from which I wish most
ferventIy to save you.
Guinevere.
No pity, pIease.
I endure quite weII,
thank you.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
DRIVER: Where to, ma'am?
DELYSIA:
ScarIet Peacock, pIease.
Do you know what
my name is, Guinevere?
I was under the impression
it was DeIysia Lafosse.
Sarah Grubb.
One of the Pittsburgh Grubbs.
My father
is a steeIworker.
No one eIse in the worId
knows that,
apart from MichaeI.
He doesn't judge me.
No. He wouIdn't.
But you do.
Me?
I certainIy do not.
Oh, you think you don't,
but you do.
This is aII I own,
Guinevere.
And two dozen pair
of shoes.
For aII the fancy apartments
and fashion shows,
do you know how cIose I am
to having nothing?
Every day I wake up
and I think,
if I make the wrong move,
I couId be out on that street,
with no cIothes,
no food, no job
and no friends.
Just pIain oId
Sarah Grubb again.
Do you know what that's Iike?
Yes, I do.
You do?
In that at Ieast,
we are aIike.
And now my mascara's
gonna run.
That wiII never do.
DRIVER: Here we are, ma'am.
(BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC)
How are you?
Hey.
Having fun?
Sweetheart.
Nick. Hi.
Now, I've heard the news,
darIing. CongratuIations.
It's the big time, huh?
Oh.
I thought you'd
be furious.
Furious, me? Why?
No. You and me,
we're the same.
We both get what we want
by bending a bit, don't we?
I get it, D.
It's business.
No, Nick, I...
I'II see you back
at mine Iater.
How can he just...
He treats me Iike
I'm a common...
You don't think of me
Iike that, do you?
Of course not.
PHIL: DeIysia!
DarIing!
DarIing, you Iook
perfect, what?
Doesn't she?
(PHIL AND DELYSIA LAUGHING)
PHIL: Guinevere, how IoveIy.
To you, I owe a speciaI
debt of gratitude.
Champagne!
The onIy thing as deIightfuI
as my dear DeIysia.
DarIing, come on,
finish your gIass.
There's pIenty.
It's aII back on.
DELYSIA: DarIing,
that's marveIous.
Did you hear
the news?
These two Iovebirds
are finaIIy tying
the knot.
PHIL: Congrats, dear feIIow.
When's the happy day, what?
We were going to keep it
to ourseIves for the present,
but you know the Iadies.
Oh, do I ever.
Sorry, darIing.
CouIdn't keep it in.
It's nice to see
you again, madam.
May I add my
congratuIations?
Let's dance!
If you don't mind,
Edythe, I have a...
Oh, you drone on, Joey.
Leonard wiII take
me for a spin,
won't you, Lenny?
Be deIighted, Edy.
EDYTHE:
DeIysia, PhiI, come on.
Of course!
(MUSIC ENDS)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
WeII, as we have
no conversation,
I have no option
but to ask you
for the next dance.
AIas, I can dance
nothing but the waItz.
(BAND PLAYING WALTZ)
Are you aII right?
Yes.
WeII, to take
another woman's escort...
You didn't take me,
I took you.
I'm sure Edythe can cope.
What happened to that
particuIarIy beautifuI scarf
you were wearing
at the fashion show?
What are you
taIking about?
(CHUCKLES)
Despite your most
eIegant transformation,
the body is stiII the same.
Mr. BIomfieId.
As are the eyes.
Most fetching,
if I may say.
I'm not reaIIy sure
you shouId say.
I'm sorry.
ProfessionaI habit.
A bad one.
I have to remember
you're not Iike
these peopIe.
Am I terribIy
oId-fashioned?
Indeed you are.
And aII the better for it.
Am I making you
feeI uncomfortabIe?
This is the most comfortabIe
I've feIt aII day.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Ladies and gentIemen,
weIcome to Nick CaIdereIIi's
ScarIet Peacock.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
I'm deIighted to introduce you
tonight to a very taIented
Iady friend of mine.
And she can sing, too.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
It's my pIeasure
to bring you
DeIysia Lafosse!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
You're too kind, reaIIy.
HeIIo, MichaeI.
How was prison?
And to get us
in the mood,
we'II start with
Hot Shoe Shimmy.
(BANGS ON PIANO KEYS)
Change of program.
If I Didn't Care.
(PLAYING SLOW MUSIC)
(SINGING)
If I didn't care
More than words can say
If I didn't care
WouId I feeI this way?
If this isn't Iove
Then why do I thriII?
And what makes my head go
'round and 'round
WhiIe my heart stands stiII?
If I didn't care
WouId it be the same?
WouId my every prayer
begin and end
With just your name?
And wouId I be sure
that this is Iove
Beyond compare?
WouId aII this be true
If I didn't care
For
you?
If I didn't care
WouId it be the same?
WouId my every prayer
begin and end
With just your name?
BO TH.: And wouId I be sure
that this is Iove
(VOICM BRMAKING)
Beyond compare?
WouId aII this be true
If I didn't care
For
you?
Thank you, thank you.
ReaIIy.
WeII, Iet's try something
a IittIe more upbeat,
shaII we?
(PEOPLE CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
(AIR-RAID SIREN SOUNDING)
MICHAEL: Ladies and gentIemen,
this is an air raid sheIter!
Sir, stay...
I'm going home.
You don't want to put
your wife in danger.
My wife?
She doesn't know I'm here.
I'm here, DeIysia.
Guinevere, I'm scared.
It's just a driII.
I'm sure it's just a driII.
But it won't aIways be,
wiII it?
We're going to war,
aren't we?
Yes, we are.
And that is why you must
not waste a second
of this precious Iife.
Listen to me.
Once, I too
had ambitions.
Not your grand ones.
SimpIe ambitions.
Marriage, chiIdren
and a house of our own.
He died.
In the mud in France.
A good, soIid man.
You wouId caII him
duII, no doubt,
but he smiIed whenever
he saw me, and we couId've
buiIt a Iife on that.
Your heart knows
the truth, DeIysia.
Trust it,
for Iife is short.
MichaeI?
MichaeI?
MichaeI?
(GASPS)
Oh!
DeIysia!
My God. I...
Nothing for 19 years
and then two
in one day, what.
I'm so sorry.
The part's stiII yours,
darIing.
WeII, that's aII right, PhiI.
You enjoy your Hortensia.
In every way.
It's just a driII,
Iadies and gentIemen,
it's just a driII.
This is the safest
pIace in London.
Come on, Iet's have
some drinks on the house.
And some music, pIease!
DELYSIA: MichaeI?
MichaeI?
MichaeI, pIease wait!
DeIysia,
you've made your decision.
I hope you'II be happy.
MichaeI. PIease. You have...
Where do you think
you're sneaking off to?
The night is young.
You have the rest
of a set to sing.
No, Nick,
I don't think so.
Nobody waIks
off my stage.
She said no.
What, and she does
what you say?
Never once,
as a matter of fact,
but that's not the point.
The point is she
doesn't want to sing.
End of story.
Let's go, DeIysia.
No.
I'm warning you,
CaIdereIIi.
You, warning me?
(CHUCKLES)
After you, DeIysia.
PETTIGREW:
Sock him in the jaw!
ALL: What?
I'm a pianist, damn it.
It couId ruin me.
Why, you pathetic...
DarIing.
This is your fauIt.
Is the offer stiII open?
Get up!
WeII? Is it a yes
or is it a no?
What?
WiII you doggone marry me
or wiII you doggone not?
Yes. God heIp me. Yes.
PETTIGREW: I don't think
I can bear it again.
Did you Iose many?
Just one. You?
AImost every
schooI friend I had.
One tries to forget.
If onIy one couId.
You know,
I distracted myseIf
with ridicuIous things,
youth, parties,
Iingerie.
I mean,
I trained in socks,
for goodness sake.
Socks?
There's a great deaI of
engineering in a gentIeman's
sock, I'II have you know.
Stitching of the heeI...
By comparison,
designing a brassiere
is a piece of cake.
Not that there
aren't compensations.
None of them
over 20, I imagine.
And aII very easy
on the eye.
But you know what?
I'm done with it.
I'm going back
to gentIemen's hosiery.
You know who you are
with an honest pair of socks.
You certainIy do.
ToId you about Gerry,
has she?
Didn't take you Iong
to move on, hmm?
Joe?
HeIIo, Edythe.
Did she aIso teII you
that she hangs around the
soup kitchen at the station?
A tramp masquerading
as some sort of sociaI
secretary, my God.
Goodbye,
Mr. BIomfieId.
No, actuaIIy,
she didn't.
Neither about that,
nor about you and Gerry.
But I'm gratefuI
for the truth,
for a change.
HeIIo?
DeIysia?
Miss Lafosse?
MICHAEL: Come on, come on,
the taxi's waiting.
DELYSIA: MichaeI,
don't rush me!
Guinevere!
Are you aII right?
We've been so worried.
PerfectIy weII,
thank you.
We've been scouring
London for you.
Miss Lafosse...
You have not been
at the rouIette wheeI
aII night, have you?
PIease, DeIysia,
I'm trying to apoIogize.
I expect you've heard
that I am not a sociaI
secretary at aII.
I'm afraid I found
myseIf pretending.
Miss Pettigrew,
if that's you pretending,
then you're joIIy good at it.
Guinevere,
Sarah Grubb is not going
to judge anybody
for pretending.
MICHAEL: Come on, Grubb!
This is us, I'm afraid,
Miss Pettigrew.
Boat won't wait.
Are you reaIIy going?
Mmm-hmm!
To New York?
Yep.
How wonderfuI.
But, Guinevere,
what wiII you do?
Don't you worry
about me, petaI.
Why, Miss HoIt is hoIding
a job for me this very
morning, I expect.
I wiII never forget the day
we spent together.
Not ever.
Nor I.
(CAR STARTING)
(LAUGHING)
Oh, goodbye, Guinevere.
I Iove you.
Off with you. Away.
Oh, come and visit!
New York's bopping!
(BELL TOLLING)
Forgive the intrusion.
I'm gIad to see
you're safe.
Oh, yes. Quite safe.
Am I right in thinking
you're no Ionger empIoyed,
Miss Pettigrew?
Quite correct.
So you're free?
Quite free.
Might you be Iooking
for a sociaI secretary?
No. AbsoIuteIy not.
Oh.
I'm Iooking for you.
Me?
I've been Iooking
for you aII night,
and, I beIieve
aII of my Iife.
If you'II have me.
A nod of the head
wiII do me fine.
And I am, at a stroke,
the happiest man in London.
What a night.
What a morning.
Have you eaten,
my dear Guinevere?
Oh, Joe,
I have not eaten
for a very,
very Iong time.
NICK.: Some music, pIease!
(BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC)
I was warned of you stubbornness and impertinence,
and I shouId have known better
when you were caIIed the
''governess of Iast resort. ''
But I had no idea
of your utter unsuitabiIity.
You are dismissed.
PMTTIGRMW.:
But, Mrs. Brummegan...
Away!
AIIow me one
Iast chance...
Goodbye, Miss Pettigrew.
I'm owed
a week's wages.
(WIND WHISTLING)
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
I say! I'm terribIy sorry!
I do apoIogize.
Oh, no! My things!
My things!
Let me heIp
you with that.
They'II have me back
in prison for this.
Oh!
Oh, nothing serious.
WeII, when I say serious, I...
No.
Wait! Your...
Your beIongings!
Sorry!
(WOMEN CHATTERING)
WOMAN: Gerry?
Edythe, if you can keep
your hands off him
for just two seconds...
We're getting
our own cab,
thank you.
WOMAN: That's naughty!
Let's get out
of here, Gerry.
(PLATE CLATTERING)
(BELL TOLLING)
(WHISTLING)
Washburns.
Jane, aged five.
LoveIy girI.
Lost in the park...
Independence.
That's aII that girI needs...
For six hours?
The RandIe boys,
John and Robin.
''WrestIed retired CoIoneI
Johnson to the fIoor outside
Fortnum and Mason's,
''shouting, 'Nazi warmonger'
because...'' And I quote,
''Miss Pettigrew thought
he was a German spy.''
A IittIe joke.
''AmbuIance caIIed.
PoIice caIIed.''
Yes. And now
the Brummegans.
Miss Pettigrew,
we Iive in uncertain times.
My goodness,
there couId be
a war any day.
Do you think that work
is easy to find?
No, no.
CertainIy not,
Miss HoIt.
But Mrs. Brummegan was...
WeII, fond of a sherry,
if you take my meaning.
As a vicar's daughter,
I found her rather difficuIt.
No, she found you
rather difficuIt,
Miss Pettigrew.
And that is,
I'm afraid,
a recurring theme.
Miss HoIt?
Yes, JiIIy?
The Lafosse househoId
rang Iast night.
StiII Iooking.
Thank you.
Yes, I won't
be a moment.
A person can change.
I haven't seen
any sign of that.
She couId stop drinking.
Our cIients don't adapt
to suit your needs,
Miss Pettigrew,
you adapt to them!
I am trying,
Miss HoIt. ReaIIy.
Give me one Iast chance.
You won't regret it.
My dear woman,
I aIready have.
Thrice.
I'm afraid we have
nothing suitabIe
for you at the moment.
Good day, Miss Pettigrew.
ShaII I come back tomorrow?
The situation
is most unIikeIy
to have changed.
The day after?
OnIy if you desire
the exercise.
Miss HoIt.
PIease, I impIore you.
JILLY: Yes, Miss HoIt?
Miss DarIington is finishing
with CaroIe Lombard
this week, isn't she?
She wouId be perfect
for the Lafosse residence,
don't you think?
JILLY: I think she wouId
be an exceIIent choice.
Can you refer
to her fiIe for me?
CertainIy.
HOLT: Thank you.
I said good day,
Miss Pettigrew.
Good day.
(HORN HONKING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(DOG BARKING)
Amazing.
(WOMEN CHATTERING)
(BELL RINGS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(DOOR OPENING)
(EXCLAIMS)
Hi.
I have come
from Miss HoIt's Agency.
What time is it?
It's five minutes
past 10:00.
10:00?
Five minutes past.
In the morning?
I beIieve so.
Oh, God!
DELYSIA: Oh, my God,
Iook at the pIace.
I was given to beIieve
you were expecting me.
Miss HoIt's
EmpIoyment Agency?
Darn right, honey.
And not a moment too soon.
(GASPS)
AIIow me.
Neat!
Time?
Six minutes
past 10:00.
Can I be of any
further assistance?
Not unIess you can get
PhiI out of bed in the
next two minutes, you can't.
I've known my share
of naughty boys
who oversIeep.
You too, huh?
PhiI! It's time
to wake up, darIing!
Damn it!
AIIow me.
I can get your boy up
and dressed in no time.
You couId? ReaIIy?
CertainIy.
AngeI.
One must not stand
for any nonsense,
that's aII.
They just need to know
who's in charge.
First door at the top
of the stairs.
PhiIip?
Rise and shine, PhiIip!
As I said to your mother,
I won't stand
for any nonsense.
You naughty boy, get up!
(GASPS)
I kind of am up,
as you can see.
(EXCLAIMS)
(LAUGHING)
Oh, goIIy!
Excuse me, Mrs. Lafosse,
may I speak to you?
Mrs. Lafosse...
(PHONE RINGING)
(GASPING)
Oh, heavens!
Answer that, wiII you?
If it's Nick, teII him...
TeII him I'm dead.
Good morning,
this is Miss HoIt here,
of HoIt's EmpIoyment Agency.
I've just rung to say that
one of our best women is
on her way over to you now.
HeIIo?
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) No, no, no!
That won't be necessary.
I'm afraid that
Mrs. Lafosse is dead.
Goodbye.
(CLATTERING)
DELYSIA:
Don't reaIIy do kitchens.
Hmm.
Any Iuck with PhiI?
I'm so sorry,
Mrs. Lafosse...
DeIysia.
DeIysia, I'm afraid
I waIked in on your guest
in a state of nature.
I fear that I have outraged
his sense of propriety.
Oh, no, PhiI doesn't
have one of those.
He's a much bigger boy
than I had expected.
Oh, you noticed.
He is, isn't he?
Uh...
(PHONE RINGING)
HeIIo?
DarIing!
ReaIIy?
Mmm-hmm.
You, too.
(PETTIGREW SHUDDERS)
He's at the cIub.
Be here in 10 minutes.
Oh, God.
Who?
Nick!
Another man?
WeII, of course
another man!
Jeepers.
I'm afraid there has been
a misunderstanding.
I can see the probIem
cIearIy now and I reaIIy
must be going.
You do?
Pardon?
See the probIem. ReaIIy?
WeII, yes.
I knew it.
From the moment I set eyes
on you, I just knew I couId
trust you. I can, can't I?
Yes, you can.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You've saved my Iife.
Have I?
Hmm.
A two-pronged attack
shouId do it. Let's go.
Though I don't think
you shouId mention
about Nick.
Or MichaeI.
MichaeI?
Is he your son?
My son? Lord, no.
MichaeI wants
to marry me.
Another man?
(SHUSHING)
You don't have to wake
the neighbors about it.
Besides, that's onIy three.
PhiI's rather free
about where he undresses.
He's a theater producer.
WeII, his father is.
PhiI's got his first show
on at the Ambassador.
I've got the Iead.
WeII...
(GIGGLES)
I'm pretty sure
I have now.
(EXCLAIMS)
HeIIo again.
AwfuIIy sorry about earIier.
I thought you were
someone eIse.
That is some reIief,
I suppose.
JoIIy nice
to meet you, dear Iady,
but who the deviI are you?
Who is she, gorgeous?
She's, um...
(LAUGHS)
You know, I'm not
aItogether sure.
Pettigrew.
Guinevere Pettigrew.
Guinevere.
Guinevere. Wow.
Yes, but who is she?
What in the worId is she doing
in this particuIar bedroom
when you are
so obviousIy starkers
beneath that deIightfuI
gown, don't you know?
We have...
An engagement.
A meeting.
Meeting. Important meeting.
Indeed we do. In 20.
Two...
Twenty-two.
Not 22, Guinevere,
dearest. Two minutes.
What the dickens
can be as important
as another hour in bed
with young PhiIip-me-Iad?
You don't mind,
do you, Guinevere?
It's aII a bit new to me,
and it's deviIish good fun.
Besides, I have
nothing tiII Iunch.
Come back to bed,
beautifuI.
(LAUGHS)
(COUGHS)
(EXCLAIMS)
Baby, baby,
I'd Iove to,
but I can't.
Come on, it's an awfuIIy
good cure for a hangover,
I'm toId.
Edythe's Iingerie
show is at 1 1 :00.
Anyway, haven't you
got to get ready?
Who are you Iunching?
Nobody, reaIIy.
CharIotte Warren.
The Rabbit?
Why? She run out
of carrots?
Sweetie-pops...
But you said
the Iead was mine.
PhiI, honey, you promised!
It is. It is.
I'm sure it is.
You're the one, baby.
I just have to
cIear it with Daddy,
being the bounder
with the checkbook
and aII.
You know,
he wants me to meet her.
Amazing voice, apparentIy.
If you Iike
air-raid sirens.
It's just Iunch, darIing.
Come on, DeIysia.
Remind your producer
why you're right for
such a passionate part.
CharIotte Warren
the actress?
Know her, what?
I did happen
to see her Iast night
on Shaftesbury Avenue.
With who?
Who with?
A man.
PHIL: Producer?
Mmm.
Spivvy feIIow?
Mmm.
Nasty side-parting?
Mmm.
I knew it!
Danny ruddy Greenwood,
dash it aII. On the poach.
WeII, we'II see
about that.
Oh, PhiI, you can't think
that CharIotte Warren
is right for Hortensia?
Not with that
damp IittIe nose.
Jacket?
Behind you.
A quick egg
and I'm off.
I regret
we're out of eggs.
You know this?
I'm afraid I do.
Bacon?
So sorry, no.
Sausage?
If onIy.
Smoked haddock fiIIets?
DefiniteIy not.
Toast.
I saw the baker's girI
deIiver a Ioaf yesterday.
AIIow me.
Guinevere, you've got
to get him out of here.
We're on a deadIine.
Toast is onIy
two minutes.
I reaIize it is not
my pIace, but
isn't it possibIe
simpIy not to answer
the door to this Nick feIIow?
Oh, I can't do that.
Why?
It's his fIat.
Oh.
(CAR HORN HONKS)
(GASPS)
Jeepers, he's earIy!
(GASPS)
Toast!
MarveIous.
Tie?
Any tea on the go,
perchance?
Sweets,
Danny Greenwood
is at this very second,
sending fIowers around
to CharIotte's
IittIe warren.
You think so?
That does seem
to be the producer's
modus operandi.
It does, doesn't it?
You know the business, what?
Not that you're in
the Ieast bit interested
in CharIotte Warren.
No. No. DarIing,
you're the one for me.
You know that.
And I don't just
mean on the stage.
PHIL: I say.
What?
DeIysia?
CIean it up.
DeIysia.
(BUZZING)
I can't go yet.
I have something
important to say.
Just... Right now?
DeIysia...
Yes, my sweets?
I Iove you.
(SIGHS)
FiddIesticks,
working reIationships.
You and me.
How about it, oId girI?
(GASPS)
(CLATTERING)
Don't Iet any rabbits
under your fence.
Bye.
DeIysia?
Lift up the spout?
I rather think so, yes.
DeIysia? Is that you?
He saw the gown,
damn it.
I beIieve we
have made it.
You're a bona fide
genius, Guinevere!
Miss Lafosse,
it has been a most exciting,
one might say exhiIarating
experience, meeting you,
though I can't heIp feeIing
one fraught with moraI
compIexity.
But now that the crisis
has been averted, I simpIy
must take my Ieave.
What? Oh, you can't go.
PIease don't go.
The crisis is ongoing.
Goodness.
Guinevere...
Miss Pettigrew...
I don't know what
I'd do if you went.
I beg you.
It's Nick.
I need saving.
Saving?
Mmm-hmm. Have you ever been
hypnotized by a snake,
Guinevere?
I don't beIieve so, no.
WeII, it's what they do
to smaII furry animaIs.
The snake fixes
the animaI with its eyes,
so it has no wiII.
It stays when it
shouId be running.
It wants to stay,
even if it means death.
And I am that
smaII furry animaI.
And Nick CaIdereIIi, coming up
the stairs this very minute,
is that snake.
When he's here, I just...
I can't resist him.
And he's bad for me.
So bad. And when I waver,
and I wiII waver,
I need you
to be strong for me.
PIease. Stay.
I can see I have no choice.
You're cIearIy in danger.
Oh, thank you!
But I'm afraid it is you
who must be strong.
You're right. I must.
The time has come
to break it off.
And with you beside me,
I feeI strong,
confident, firm.
There is something so sensuaI
about fur next to the skin,
don't you think? Mmm!
Miss Lafosse,
you're sIipping aIready.
Strong, confident, firm.
I know! But I can't heIp it.
But I must.
(DOOR OPENING)
(GASPS) Nick!
I feeI Iike I've just
cIimbed bIoody Everest.
The Iift's on the bIink.
(DELYSIA EXCLAIMING)
DarIing.
It's you!
That wasn't you, was it?
Me?
In the Iift?
The Iift?
Lift? Oh, you mean eIevator.
That's exactIy what I...
I didn't know
you had company.
But, Nick,
I get so IoneIy
when you're away.
This is...
Pettigrew.
Guinevere Pettigrew.
A pIeasure,
Miss Pettigrew,
I'm sure.
And you are,
what, a friend?
I am Miss Lafosse's
new governess...
SociaI secretary.
SociaI secretary.
ReaIIy?
Isn't it a IittIe earIy
for camoufIage?
(CHUCKLING)
I beg your pardon?
I haven't had
the opportunity...
It's nice to meet you,
Miss Pettigrew,
but D and I haven't
seen each other
for three weeks.
Got a Iot of
catching up to do.
So if you
wouIdn't mind.
But of course.
Good day.
(DELYSIA EXCLAIMING)
But, Nick, darIing!
What?
WeII, I've got
a fashion show to get to.
Haven't I, Guinevere?
Fashion show be damned.
Who needs cIothes,
eh, gorgeous?
Damned or not,
I'm afraid Miss Lafosse
has accepted the invitation.
WeII, canceI.
Come on, darIing.
CIose the door
on your way out.
I'm sure that we
can scheduIe something
for Iater in the week.
I beg your pardon?
I think that Miss Lafosse
has an hour
Wednesday at 9:30.
ShaII I penciI it in?
No. I'm penciIing now.
Nick, darIing,
I'm afraid that
Guinevere's right.
I'm terribIy busy
this morning.
Oh.
You haven't...
You haven't had
any other guests,
have you?
No, darIing.
Just us girIs together.
I thought I saw
PhiI GoIdman's
car outside.
PhiI?
GoIdman.
Do we know him?
Andy GoIdman's
idiot boy.
Pouring Daddy's miIIions
away at the Ambassador
on some stupid musicaI.
PiIe on the PiffIe.
Pepper.
Pepper?
I'm toId.
Since when did girIs
together smoke cigars?
Hmm? Answer me that.
If I want to smoke cigars,
I'II damned weII smoke cigars,
thank you very much.
And to heII with your opinion.
What, they're yours?
You betcha, baby.
(COUGHING)
Oh!
And you thought
that I...
What?
Nick...
You, of aII peopIe?
How couId you?
I'm wounded,
NichoIas,
I am wounded.
DarIing, sweetheart.
PIease forgive me.
It's been a Iong night. I'm...
No.
I'm sorry.
No. It's...
It's no good.
AII right,
I forgive you!
Fashion show.
Come again?
Fashion show.
Fashion...
Fashion show is right.
And that wiII be your
punishment, man of IittIe
faith. You wiII have to wait.
What? So I'm being thrown out
of my own fIat, am I?
I'm sorry, darIing.
Very weII.
Tonight then.
At the cIub.
Miss Pettigrew.
Good day.
Tonight is booked.
You were magnificent!
Are you aII right?
I have never sworn
before in my Iife.
Not even in my mind.
WeII, I didn't
hear you swear.
Yes, I did.
I said damned and heII.
And I meant them.
Oh, that's not swearing.
They came out
of the sinfuI category
an age ago.
Desperation.
That's what it's come to.
A IittIe desperation
and Iife can make of us
whatever it chooses.
In my case, a smoking,
swearing accompIice to
misdeeds in a den of iniquity.
No! ReaIIy?
Oh, you mean here.
(LAUGHS)
But I was the desperate one.
I'm aIways desperate.
Think of what
wouId have happened
if you hadn't been here.
I shudder to think
what goes on
when I'm not here.
MoraIs are very
important to me,
Miss Lafosse.
I am the daughter
of a cIergyman.
Poor you.
No. It was a perfectIy
good upbringing, thank you.
But I am beginning
to think perhaps
a IittIe sheItered.
But it's not
aIways Iike this.
OccasionaIIy
it's not Iike this.
AII right,
it's aIways Iike this.
Is that so very awfuI?
PIease don't go.
You just can't go.
This is the most
important day
in my whoIe Iife.
I'II phone up
that HoIt Iady right now
and I'II doubIe your saIary.
Oh, no, no, no! Thank you.
That won't be necessary.
I don't even know
what a sociaI secretary does.
I onIy got one because
CharIotte ''Rabbit'' Warren's
got one, so I figured
I'd better get one, too.
Now that
I see you in action,
you're just amazing.
Am I? That's very
kind of you to say so.
PhiI, gone. Nick, gone.
And that cigar.
But that was fast thinking.
I'm onIy happy to have
been of assistance.
Miss Pettigrew,
I Iove you.
WeII, come on!
DELYSIA: Why don't
you sIip something
eIse on, Guinevere?
I mean, nobody died,
did they?
Or did CaroIe make you
wear that sackcIoth
and ashes for contrast?
Make herseIf Iook
even more amazing.
CaroIe?
That's not a game
I pIay, Guinevere,
I can assure you.
So, Iet's Iose
the bIackout curtain,
shaII we?
These cIothes appear to be
the onIy ones I possess.
You're kidding.
Shoes?
I'm afraid not.
Oh. So, Iet's go buy some!
I'm not in a position to.
Out of cash?
None at aII?
None at aII.
Wow. You sociaI secretaries
sure can spend.
RouIette, was it?
BIackjack?
CertainIy not.
WeII. Whatever,
it's on me.
No, no, no,
I couIdn't possibIy...
You sure couId possibIy.
I, for one, am not
running around town
with OIiver Twist's mom.
After the Iingerie show,
we go shopping.
It's so frightening.
Yeah. Cap sIeeves.
It's a horror show.
It's a nice coIor, though.
Yes, very nice coIor.
Are you coId?
WeII, perhaps a IittIe.
Here.
Oh, no, I couIdn't.
No, you must.
It's a IittIe thank-you
for this morning.
It's beautifuI.
Guinevere!
Don't dawdIe,
we're Iate!
DELYSIA: Today is the day
that PhiI announces
to the worId
who's going to pIay the Iead
in PiIe on the Pepper.
And with the Iingerie
that I'm about to pick up,
it's no contest, honey.
''DeIysia Lafosse
tops the biII!''
How exciting!
Is it to be a
West End show?
It is to be a West End smash,
Guinevere, and it's going
to make me a star.
PETTIGREW: I thought
you were a singer.
WeII, I've got a voice.
But that's not how you
become famous. No.
First stop, West End.
Next stop, HoIIywood.
Have you done much
of that sort of thing?
Didn't you catch
Mvery Day's a HoIiday?
One of mine.
Mae West!
Oh, you did see it?
Oh, yes!
Which part were you?
I was in the restaurant scene.
In the back.
ReaIIy?
Behind the paIm tree
drinking a margarita.
I...
I think they cut that
for the European print.
A IittIe de trop
for you EngIish,
if you know what I mean?
Of course.
Of course there's
Four's a Crowd,
with ErroI FIynn and...
OIivia de HaviIIand!
Seen that as weII?
Four's a Crowd
is a wonderfuI picture.
Who were you?
The crowd.
Here we are.
Quick, quick.
Guinevere. Come on.
Don't be shy.
She's naked!
WeII, hardIy. There's so much
whaIebone on her, I'm Iooking
for a taiI and fIippers.
MD YTHM.:
This season's must-have
for the fuIIer figure,
the SIimIastic corset
and upIift brassiere.
A most effective reducer.
If you don't mind
a coIIapsed Iung.
I recognize her.
Edythe? She owns
the best saIon
in London.
AII the Iatest fashion.
AII the Iatest gossip.
Another sIenderizer
from Aphrodite,
for the winter season,
is this unique
wrap-around corset
with side paneIs
and front-to-back gussets,
in fIeece-Iined rubber,
with rustproof steeI
spiraIs throughout.
Rustproof steeI.
You guys reaIIy are
preparing for war.
(GASPS)
Guinevere?
A man. In the room.
Oh. Oh,
that's just Joe.
He designs underwear.
And not these waIking
air-raid sheIters.
BeautifuI things.
There are very few men
who reaIIy appreciate
the femaIe figure Iike Joe.
It doesn't matter
what you're wearing,
he can see right through to
the reaI woman underneath.
Oh.
Oh, this is
his coIIection.
And new this season from Mimi,
designed by Joe BIomfieId.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
He's dating Edythe.
Tempestuous is the word
that the magazines use.
I mean,
of course she's a darIing,
but a IittIe difficuIt.
As you can see,
it's going to be a chiIIy
winter for Mimi fans.
And in that ever-practical
100% silk,
you're going to have to
empIoy another maid
to do the washing, Iadies.
That's if you can afford one
after you've paid
through the nose
for one of these frou-frou.
Oh, dear.
I guess they had
another bust-up.
And you'd better
start your diet now
because there's no hiding
your induIgences, Iadies.
Not a support in sight
to heIp human nature.
Excuse me a moment?
Thank you, Iadies.
Joe.
Margery!
So, what can you do
to prop up this
ancient monument?
If you must taIk
of ancient monuments,
did you know that
the EIgin MarbIes
were once painted?
No, I can't say that I did.
Bright, garish coIors. AwfuI.
Now aren't they
better just marbIe,
worn a IittIe
into something wise,
as weII as beautifuI?
Joe BIomfieId,
you are the worId's
best fIatterer.
Or maybe I'm saying
you beIong in a museum.
You don't tamper
with a masterpiece,
Margery.
You aIIow it to be.
That's my advice to you.
(MARGERY CHUCKLING)
That scarf, if I may say,
Iooks perfect on you.
WeII, thank you.
It was a present.
You know, I think
it's the most beautifuI
thing I've ever worn.
Now the fIatterer
has been out-fIattered.
Sorry?
It's one of mine.
The design.
Last year for Mimi Couture.
My goodness.
You reaIIy didn't know.
WeII, that is a compIiment
indeed, madam. Thank you.
Joe BIomfieId.
Guinevere Pettigrew.
A pIeasure.
Not to worry.
(INHALES)
EDYTHE: WeII, I didn't
answer the teIephone
because I couIdn't
answer the teIephone.
DELYSIA: Why not?
I was in the bathroom.
Having a bath?
No, I just didn't
answer the teIephone,
and now Joe says
the engagement's off.
Just because of one stupid
IittIe misunderstanding.
Edythe, Miss Pettigrew.
Edythe Dubarry.
Miss Pettigrew is my
new sociaI secretary.
ReaIIy?
How intriguing.
I know.
Lost her shirt pIaying
poker or something.
But she is the best in London.
Miss HoIt toId me so herseIf.
Just freed up after
CaroIe Lombard finished
VigiI in the Night.
Isn't that right,
Guinevere?
I heard it's
a very fine picture.
Haven't we met before?
I don't beIieve so.
RecentIy.
I never forget a face.
You reaIIy shouIdn't wear
those muddy browns, you know.
They're not your coIor.
Oh.
The funeraI parIor thing?
It's in hand.
We're on our way to your
IittIe store to correct the
situation this very minute.
My shop and saIon
are at your disposaI,
my dear.
DELYSIA: Oh!
Come with us!
We can do Guinevere,
and you can teII me
aII about Joe
and I can teII you about
my amazing morning.
Hang it aII,
the bone structure's there.
Why the deviI not?
Beatrice,
canceI my appointments.
I'm suddenIy inconvenienced.
Perfect!
Come on, now!
What is she going to do?
We're going to do a fixie!
EDYTHE: Turned Nick
out of his own fIat?
DELYSIA: She didn't Iike him.
Good heavens! He Iet her?
He was no match for her.
My dear, the woman
can do anything.
Anything.
No. DefiniteIy not.
It's too pink, it's too passé.
Not that one, either.
And she's coming
to the party?
WeII, of course.
She's going to
cIinch the Iead in
PiIe on the Pepper for me.
Oh, no, not the red.
Not with her hair,
I think.
But I thought
you'd secured that
deaI Iast night.
WeII, I thought so, too.
And I pIayed it magnificentIy,
if I do say so myseIf.
But then PhiI announced
that he was going to have
Iunch with the Rabbit.
CharIotte Warren?
Mmm.
Oh, my dear.
ExactIy.
So you can see
why I need
Guinevere's powers.
I do indeed.
I wonder...
Yes?
Oh, nothing.
That one!
That one!
Miss Lafosse? Oh!
Oh!
Thank you. Very nice.
Guinevere,
I think we're ready.
And you're sure
that's aII it was,
Edythe, my dear?
Just a Iate train?
No Gerry invoIved?
You're as bad as Joe.
Gerry and I are finished.
AbsoIuteIy finished.
So Tabitha and I bumped
into him at Hat Day
at the races. What of it?
We got the Iast train
in to Victoria and that
was absoIuteIy that.
My fruit fedora
was much admired,
thank you for asking.
Joe can check
with the station if he's
so damnabIy suspicious.
Arrived at 1 1 :30
and took a taxi
straight home. AIone.
The whoIe thing
is ridicuIous.
One Iate train
and the whoIe
marriage is off.
Men are so untrusting.
I can't think why.
Are you aII right?
Sorry, I was just
remembering something.
Everything aII right,
Guinevere?
PETTIGREW:
Oh, yes. Just a moment.
(GIGGLES)
This is me?
AII you.
As nature intended.
Guinevere,
controI yourseIf,
for heaven's sake!
The mascara!
No, of course.
Of course.
That was cIose.
WeII, I'm just gonna
put this, and a few other
things, on Nick's account.
I'II be right back.
WeII, what
a transformation.
I suppose I've never feIt
I reaIIy deserved it.
A sociaI secretary
such as yourseIf?
CaroIe Lombard's
sociaI secretary,
no Iess.
EyeIiner.
As you're such
a wow with the men,
I was wondering whether
you couId have a word
with Joe for me.
Smooth this IittIe
misunderstanding over.
We're getting married,
you know. Were.
It wouId mean
such a Iot to me.
I'm afraid
I couIdn't do that.
ReaIIy?
You and I, Guinevere, we don't
have what the DeIysias
of this worId have.
We have to work at it,
improvise a touch,
act a IittIe to get
what we want.
You know what I mean,
don't you?
There.
I'm sure DeIysia
wouIdn't mind.
DELYSIA: WeII, that shouId
put a few more gray hairs
on Nick's head.
My, you do Iook ravishing.
WonderfuI news!
Guinevere has very kindIy
offered to sort things out
with Joe for me.
But that's a marveIous idea.
If anybody can make Joe
see sense, Guinevere can.
Isn't that right?
Okay. Come on.
(PIANO PLAYING)
Listen.
Nick?
Fingers Iike bananas.
PhiIip?
Oh, yes.
CharIotte Warren.
Permit me.
Thief. BurgIar.
I've had some
reactions to my pIaying,
but never quite that.
I saw you at the jaiI.
I saw you.
Oh, it's you!
I say, I'm awfuIIy
sorry about that.
MichaeI!
It's so good to see you.
However did you get in?
One picks up
a few tricks in prison,
you know?
Breaking and entering
being one of them.
So.
What have you got
to say for yourseIf?
Oh, weII...
I think I must have gotten
the days mixed up.
Or was it the pIace?
I'm awfuIIy sorry, MichaeI.
Can you ever forgive me?
(DELYSIA EXCLAIMING)
Now what do you say?
Part of me says if you
do that again, I'II heave you
through the goddamn window.
And another part
of me says that
I deserve it. Every bit.
Oh, no.
Don't pIay that game with me.
Not this time, DeIysia.
What do you mean?
You've made
a fooI out of me
for the Iast time.
Oh, don't say that, MichaeI.
You can do anything
you Iike to me. Anything.
Shake me again...
No, better not stand
too cIose to the window.
Or maybe,
maybe kiss me?
Not a chance.
Why, you...
I'm crazy about you.
You know that.
But even I've got my Iimit
and I've reached it.
No more games,
no more Iies.
No more PhiI, no more Nick.
It's me, just me,
or that's it.
I'II never
see you again.
You wouIdn't.
See this? The Queen Mary.
Two tickets.
SaiIs for New York
tomorrow morning.
I'm pIaying the Upper Deck
CocktaiI Bar, with an
as-yet-unannounced singer.
Now teII me I wouIdn't.
But what about
the cabaret?
You and me together,
we're the best in London.
So we'II be the best
in New York.
Or not.
Isn't there a decent drink
in this heIIhoIe?
Yes. What wouId you Iike?
It's me who shouId
be offering you a drink.
After our unfortunate
meeting yesterday,
I am definiteIy in your debt.
How do you take
your whiskey?
He does seem
to be a IittIe agitated
about something.
Yes.
WeII, I'm afraid that
might be my fauIt.
Indeed?
Ice pick?
It's in the drawer.
Somewhere.
Ice in the Fridgidaire?
I want the pick
for murder, not ice.
(CHUCKLES)
See? He's such
a hothead.
He takes Iove
so seriousIy.
Is that a probIem?
Of course
it's a probIem!
MichaeI Pardew.
Pettigrew.
Guinevere Pettigrew.
About time we had
a formaI introduction.
It's certainIy a probIem
when the girI
doesn't pitch up
for the proposaI.
Oh, MichaeI.
Not a word from you.
Thank you.
What do think of this?
Private boat
on the Thames,
Iast of the
season's strawberries,
Dom Pérignon champagne.
Everything.
Strawberries.
And you didn't appear?
I was scared.
You were scared?
How do you think a pianist
without two shiIIings
to rub together
feeIs proposing to the most
beautifuI woman in the worId?
Dare I ask
what happened?
WeII, after an hour and a haIf
bobbing around on my own,
I opened the champagne.
One gIass didn't seem enough.
One thing Ied to another.
Then I had a bit
of a brainwave,
as we fIoated past
the Tower of London.
Oh, dear.
Decided the ring I had
wasn't good enough for her.
WeII, when a feIIow
needs a diamond,
what better pIace to get one
than the Tower of London?
The rest is aII
a bit hazy, but
there appears to have
been an aItercation with
the yeoman of the guard.
(GASPS) You didn't.
Thirty days
bread and water.
But you know what?
Prison certainIy
cIears the head.
Pure and simpIe,
I want you to marry me.
And it's a one-word
conversation, DeIysia.
Don't you think
that on such
a momentous occasion
a IittIe time
shouId be aIIowed?
Oh, staIIing tactic.
Is it because I'm not
rich enough for her?
CertainIy not.
WeII, it's true.
I'm wearing most of
my worIdIy possessions.
I couId never offer
this kind of bIackmaiI.
Oh.
And who pays you
for pIaying the piano, huh?
You teIIing me you
give Nick his money back
after every show?
No! And every damned
shiIIing I take
hurts me to the bone.
Which is why
it's got to change,
DeIysia.
Money or Iove?
That's the question
I'm asking, D.
With you singing
and me pIaying, we couId
knock the worId fIat.
Yes or no, DeIysia?
You are a most uncommonIy
persuasive man, Mr. Pardew.
But sureIy a Iady
shouId have a moment or two
to consider the most
important decision
of her Iife?
A moment?
She's had a whoIe year.
You did say you
were in my debt.
Damn it, I did, too.
Fair enough.
Okay, here's the deaI.
I'II pIay for you today,
DeIysia,
and for
the rest of your Iife,
if you'II marry me.
Never again
if you don't.
See you Iater,
Miss Pettigrew.
Later?
In my professionaI
capacity.
As for you,
it's now or never.
The ship saiIs
tomorrow morning.
He is...
ImpossibIe.
Magnificent.
So you marry him.
Guinevere?
Mmm-hmm?
TeII me the honest truth.
It's a darned fix, isn't it?
Nothing that can't
be unfixed with some
good common sense.
But take a Iook
at the headIines.
With Nick,
I get this magnificent fIat
and my job at the Peacock.
And with PhiI,
I get the best part
on the West End stage
and my chance to be a star.
And with MichaeI?
With MichaeI...
I get the best friend
I ever had.
Is that aII MichaeI is?
WeII,
he's rather passionate, too.
I know what
you're thinking.
MichaeI's the one.
But what about
everything eIse?
And who says I'm Iooking
for a darned husband
this very minute, anyway?
Not everything comes aIong
just when we want it.
There are times
when choices
just have to be made,
or you certainIy
wiII miss out.
No.
No, I won't accept that.
I won't.
This ''aII of you
or none of you'' stuff
that MichaeI's puIIing.
It's too much.
But he is in Iove
with you, DeIysia.
Can you say that
about anyone eIse?
Guinevere,
haven't you ever been torn
between more than one person
at the same time?
(CHUCKLES)
No, I can't say I've had
that particuIar probIem.
You are beautifuI, DeIysia.
WeII, it's not a bad figure,
if I do say so myseIf.
Have you ever been
in Iove at aII, Guinevere?
Once.
And was it this
''aII of you
or none of you'' stuff?
Oh, yes.
From him or from you?
Both.
ReaIIy? Do teII.
No.
AII a Iong time ago.
You'II catch your death.
Put this on.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
AIIow me.
Excuse me, madam.
Excuse me.
Excuse me?
Take that through
to the kitchen, pIease.
And you do the same as weII.
And teII John
to puII the rug up.
Party about to start
soon, so chop-chop.
Party? There's a party?
Miss Lafosse?
Hmm?
There's a troop of peopIe
downstairs who appear to be
under the misapprehension
there is to be
a party here.
Yes.
Today?
Yes. Didn't I say?
No.
Oh.
SiIIy me.
WiII there be many peopIe?
I shouId say so,
Guinevere.
It's the big one.
The big one?
PiIe on the Pepper.
PhiI's going to make
the announcement.
What do you think?
Do I get the part? Hmm?
Oh, yes.
My dear, you Iook as if
you've never been to a
cocktaiI party in your Iife.
Why, thank you,
but I don't drink.
Oh, it's not a drink,
reaIIy. It's a cocktaiI.
Good Iuck, darIings.
Joe's the oId one
over there.
Work your magic.
(DOOR OPENING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
(DELYSIA GASPS)
Of aII the nerve.
WeII. Time to make
the Rabbit run.
Are you sure
that's wise?
Mmm.
PhiI, darIing.
DeIysia, sweetheart.
LoveIy to see you.
This is CharIotte Warren.
PHIL: Do you know
each other?
A pIeasure.
How nice
to see you again.
PhiI and I had such
a IoveIy Iunch together
today, didn't we, darIing?
WeII, I thought
he'd have a big appetite,
after Iast night.
May I suggest retiring
to a safe distance?
I think you're
absoIuteIy right.
Tin hat on.
I'm sorry,
it's PhiI GoIdman.
How do you do?
We've met before, actuaIIy.
You were entireIy
naked at the time.
Guinevere?
Is that you?
My goodness!
You Iook marveIous.
CharIotte, I just
wanted to Iet you know
there are no hard feeIings.
That is so
gracious of you.
To the victor the spoiIs,
to the vanquished
two comps for Press Night.
And so wise.
I hope I can be
Iike that one day.
Wisdom requires more than
the passing of years, I fear.
Though a IittIe bird teIIs me
that the part of the crippIed
mother is stiII open.
You'd Iook ravishing
with a stick.
(BOTH LAUGH)
And I won't forget
about those tickets.
Is it two, three, four...
SiIIy me, I've forgotten
how many boyfriends
you've got.
Now, PhiIip,
how are your deIiberations
over PiIe on the Pepper
proceeding?
WeII, between
you and me,
CharIotte has the most
aIIuring singing voice.
And I have to say,
Daddy's quite keen.
In fact, more than keen.
So you're going to give
Miss Warren the part?
DeIysia's going to be
a bit off-coIor about
it aII, I'm afraid.
Hey ho.
Just one question.
Does CharIotte have quite
the same attachment
to you as DeIysia?
No. No, no,
she certainIy doesn't.
Do you think that was more
than a passing attraction?
I mean, we both
know actresses, Guinevere.
It did occur to me
that it might be, you know,
pureIy to secure the part?
I have no doubt that
Miss Lafosse beIieves that
you are one of the most...
UnquestionabIy, the most
important man in that room.
My dear woman,
do you reaIIy think so?
I do.
The scaIes have faIIen
from my doubting eyes.
So pIeased
to have heIped.
HeIped?
You've just made me
the happiest man in the worId.
You seem to have made
quite an impression
on him.
Oh. Yes.
I do, don't I?
Joe BIomfieId.
A great pIeasure.
Have we met before?
I feeI sure I recognize
you from somewhere.
I don't think so,
but I'm deIighted
to make your acquaintance.
I have met your fiancée,
I beIieve.
Edythe? Um...
No Ionger my fiancée,
I'm afraid.
ReaIIy? I'm so sorry.
Not a permanent rift, I hope?
It wouId be
ungentIemanIy of me
to go into the detaiIs.
Of course.
You know, these things
are amazing, aren't they?
May I?
Why not?
Excuse me.
Progress?
I'm afraid not.
Nor is there IikeIy to be.
Transformations work
both ways, Guinevere.
It wouId take me 30 seconds
to put you back in the soup
kitchen queue.
I toId you,
I never forget a face.
Victoria Station.
Nor have I forgotten
with whom you shared
a taxi Iast night.
Oh, you have.
If you want to continue
working for DeIysia,
you have.
Now we aII of us
need things in our Iife.
I need Joe for his...
WeII, he's a man
of connections.
And you need...
You need to stay
off of the streets,
I imagine.
I see Edythe
has toId you aII.
If it weren't to commit
another indiscretion,
I might discIose Edythe is...
As Miss Lafosse wouId say,
crazy about you.
To be indiscreet back,
she's rather more crazy about
my position in the fashion
worId than she is about me.
A woman scorned
is a dangerous thing.
And a bruised heart
wiII often speak harshIy,
Mr. BIomfieId.
Oh, I sometimes wonder
where Edythe's heart
has got to.
A woman with an absent heart
wouId not shed such tears,
I think.
Edythe?
Shed tears?
You peopIe!
With your green drinks
and your parties
and your subterfuges.
You're aII pIaying at Iove.
One minute her,
the next minute someone eIse.
FIit, fIit, fIit.
WeII, I'm not pIaying.
Love is not a game.
(MUSIC ENDS)
(GUESTS APPLAUDING)
You've worked
your magic again.
I can't do it.
You've aIready done it.
Joe just came up
and asked me
if he was being a cad
breaking off the engagement.
I've no idea what you said,
but I beIieve we've got him.
It must be extraordinary
being you.
Extraordinary? No.
Very, very ordinary.
DeIysia, darIing,
is it true what
Guinevere said?
WeII, if Miss P said it,
you can bet your shirt on it.
So I can teII
the whoIe worId
about you and me?
OfficiaIIy an item, what?
TiII death us do part?
What?
At the very same time
that you announce your
casting decision, sweets.
Oh!
And what better time
than right now?
You're absoIuteIy right,
damn it. This very minute.
Come on, gorgeous,
no time to waste.
To horse.
WeII, I suppose
that was necessary.
You wanted the part.
He'd aIready chosen
the Rabbit.
No, DeIysia,
you mustn't do this.
But I must.
Ladies and gentIemen,
as you might know,
I'm putting on
PiIe on the Pepper at the
Ambassador, don't you know?
Have I mentioned this?
(ALL CHUCKLING)
Anyway, it is
my pIeasure to announce
that I have, today,
cast the Iead
actress, what?
She is not onIy Hortensia
in PiIe on the Pepper,
she is aIso my Hortensia,
if you know what I mean.
Ladies and gentIemen,
your Hortensia
and my Hortensia,
DeIysia Lafosse!
(STOPS PLAYING)
(GUESTS APPLAUDING)
So
Iet's dance!
MichaeI?
May I?
PIease.
(TINKLING)
(BOMBER PLANES ROARING)
They don't remember
the Iast one.
(GUESTS CHEERING)
No. They don't.
DeIysia's name in Iights
at the Ambassador.
What do you think of that?
WeII, it's certainIy what
DeIysia's aIways wanted.
Joe, my dear,
I don't think I couId ever
forgive myseIf if Iast night's
misunderstanding
got in the way of something
so, so important to us both.
I was wondering,
couId you waIk me home
and Iet me expIain?
Of course, my dear.
Of course.
JOE: Nice to have met you.
Did you see the pIanes?
Weren't they magnificent?
Madam?
Not now, thank you.
WeII, what do you know?
It's my Iast night
singing at the cIub.
I'm going to be a star.
WeII, aren't you going
to congratuIate me?
I have done you
a disservice.
You have done what I asked.
That's your job.
It may weII be my job,
but what I have done is untrue
to you and untrue to me.
You have Iost a man
who Ioves you
for who you are,
not for who
you pretend to be.
And you,
who are you to teII me
what's best for my Iife?
I'm nobody.
But apparentIy
an expert on Iove.
No.
I have no one.
I am not
an expert on Iove.
I am an expert
on the Iack of Iove,
DeIysia.
And that is a fate
from which I wish most
ferventIy to save you.
Guinevere.
No pity, pIease.
I endure quite weII,
thank you.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
DRIVER: Where to, ma'am?
DELYSIA:
ScarIet Peacock, pIease.
Do you know what
my name is, Guinevere?
I was under the impression
it was DeIysia Lafosse.
Sarah Grubb.
One of the Pittsburgh Grubbs.
My father
is a steeIworker.
No one eIse in the worId
knows that,
apart from MichaeI.
He doesn't judge me.
No. He wouIdn't.
But you do.
Me?
I certainIy do not.
Oh, you think you don't,
but you do.
This is aII I own,
Guinevere.
And two dozen pair
of shoes.
For aII the fancy apartments
and fashion shows,
do you know how cIose I am
to having nothing?
Every day I wake up
and I think,
if I make the wrong move,
I couId be out on that street,
with no cIothes,
no food, no job
and no friends.
Just pIain oId
Sarah Grubb again.
Do you know what that's Iike?
Yes, I do.
You do?
In that at Ieast,
we are aIike.
And now my mascara's
gonna run.
That wiII never do.
DRIVER: Here we are, ma'am.
(BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC)
How are you?
Hey.
Having fun?
Sweetheart.
Nick. Hi.
Now, I've heard the news,
darIing. CongratuIations.
It's the big time, huh?
Oh.
I thought you'd
be furious.
Furious, me? Why?
No. You and me,
we're the same.
We both get what we want
by bending a bit, don't we?
I get it, D.
It's business.
No, Nick, I...
I'II see you back
at mine Iater.
How can he just...
He treats me Iike
I'm a common...
You don't think of me
Iike that, do you?
Of course not.
PHIL: DeIysia!
DarIing!
DarIing, you Iook
perfect, what?
Doesn't she?
(PHIL AND DELYSIA LAUGHING)
PHIL: Guinevere, how IoveIy.
To you, I owe a speciaI
debt of gratitude.
Champagne!
The onIy thing as deIightfuI
as my dear DeIysia.
DarIing, come on,
finish your gIass.
There's pIenty.
It's aII back on.
DELYSIA: DarIing,
that's marveIous.
Did you hear
the news?
These two Iovebirds
are finaIIy tying
the knot.
PHIL: Congrats, dear feIIow.
When's the happy day, what?
We were going to keep it
to ourseIves for the present,
but you know the Iadies.
Oh, do I ever.
Sorry, darIing.
CouIdn't keep it in.
It's nice to see
you again, madam.
May I add my
congratuIations?
Let's dance!
If you don't mind,
Edythe, I have a...
Oh, you drone on, Joey.
Leonard wiII take
me for a spin,
won't you, Lenny?
Be deIighted, Edy.
EDYTHE:
DeIysia, PhiI, come on.
Of course!
(MUSIC ENDS)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
WeII, as we have
no conversation,
I have no option
but to ask you
for the next dance.
AIas, I can dance
nothing but the waItz.
(BAND PLAYING WALTZ)
Are you aII right?
Yes.
WeII, to take
another woman's escort...
You didn't take me,
I took you.
I'm sure Edythe can cope.
What happened to that
particuIarIy beautifuI scarf
you were wearing
at the fashion show?
What are you
taIking about?
(CHUCKLES)
Despite your most
eIegant transformation,
the body is stiII the same.
Mr. BIomfieId.
As are the eyes.
Most fetching,
if I may say.
I'm not reaIIy sure
you shouId say.
I'm sorry.
ProfessionaI habit.
A bad one.
I have to remember
you're not Iike
these peopIe.
Am I terribIy
oId-fashioned?
Indeed you are.
And aII the better for it.
Am I making you
feeI uncomfortabIe?
This is the most comfortabIe
I've feIt aII day.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Ladies and gentIemen,
weIcome to Nick CaIdereIIi's
ScarIet Peacock.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
I'm deIighted to introduce you
tonight to a very taIented
Iady friend of mine.
And she can sing, too.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
It's my pIeasure
to bring you
DeIysia Lafosse!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
You're too kind, reaIIy.
HeIIo, MichaeI.
How was prison?
And to get us
in the mood,
we'II start with
Hot Shoe Shimmy.
(BANGS ON PIANO KEYS)
Change of program.
If I Didn't Care.
(PLAYING SLOW MUSIC)
(SINGING)
If I didn't care
More than words can say
If I didn't care
WouId I feeI this way?
If this isn't Iove
Then why do I thriII?
And what makes my head go
'round and 'round
WhiIe my heart stands stiII?
If I didn't care
WouId it be the same?
WouId my every prayer
begin and end
With just your name?
And wouId I be sure
that this is Iove
Beyond compare?
WouId aII this be true
If I didn't care
For
you?
If I didn't care
WouId it be the same?
WouId my every prayer
begin and end
With just your name?
BO TH.: And wouId I be sure
that this is Iove
(VOICM BRMAKING)
Beyond compare?
WouId aII this be true
If I didn't care
For
you?
Thank you, thank you.
ReaIIy.
WeII, Iet's try something
a IittIe more upbeat,
shaII we?
(PEOPLE CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)
(AIR-RAID SIREN SOUNDING)
MICHAEL: Ladies and gentIemen,
this is an air raid sheIter!
Sir, stay...
I'm going home.
You don't want to put
your wife in danger.
My wife?
She doesn't know I'm here.
I'm here, DeIysia.
Guinevere, I'm scared.
It's just a driII.
I'm sure it's just a driII.
But it won't aIways be,
wiII it?
We're going to war,
aren't we?
Yes, we are.
And that is why you must
not waste a second
of this precious Iife.
Listen to me.
Once, I too
had ambitions.
Not your grand ones.
SimpIe ambitions.
Marriage, chiIdren
and a house of our own.
He died.
In the mud in France.
A good, soIid man.
You wouId caII him
duII, no doubt,
but he smiIed whenever
he saw me, and we couId've
buiIt a Iife on that.
Your heart knows
the truth, DeIysia.
Trust it,
for Iife is short.
MichaeI?
MichaeI?
MichaeI?
(GASPS)
Oh!
DeIysia!
My God. I...
Nothing for 19 years
and then two
in one day, what.
I'm so sorry.
The part's stiII yours,
darIing.
WeII, that's aII right, PhiI.
You enjoy your Hortensia.
In every way.
It's just a driII,
Iadies and gentIemen,
it's just a driII.
This is the safest
pIace in London.
Come on, Iet's have
some drinks on the house.
And some music, pIease!
DELYSIA: MichaeI?
MichaeI?
MichaeI, pIease wait!
DeIysia,
you've made your decision.
I hope you'II be happy.
MichaeI. PIease. You have...
Where do you think
you're sneaking off to?
The night is young.
You have the rest
of a set to sing.
No, Nick,
I don't think so.
Nobody waIks
off my stage.
She said no.
What, and she does
what you say?
Never once,
as a matter of fact,
but that's not the point.
The point is she
doesn't want to sing.
End of story.
Let's go, DeIysia.
No.
I'm warning you,
CaIdereIIi.
You, warning me?
(CHUCKLES)
After you, DeIysia.
PETTIGREW:
Sock him in the jaw!
ALL: What?
I'm a pianist, damn it.
It couId ruin me.
Why, you pathetic...
DarIing.
This is your fauIt.
Is the offer stiII open?
Get up!
WeII? Is it a yes
or is it a no?
What?
WiII you doggone marry me
or wiII you doggone not?
Yes. God heIp me. Yes.
PETTIGREW: I don't think
I can bear it again.
Did you Iose many?
Just one. You?
AImost every
schooI friend I had.
One tries to forget.
If onIy one couId.
You know,
I distracted myseIf
with ridicuIous things,
youth, parties,
Iingerie.
I mean,
I trained in socks,
for goodness sake.
Socks?
There's a great deaI of
engineering in a gentIeman's
sock, I'II have you know.
Stitching of the heeI...
By comparison,
designing a brassiere
is a piece of cake.
Not that there
aren't compensations.
None of them
over 20, I imagine.
And aII very easy
on the eye.
But you know what?
I'm done with it.
I'm going back
to gentIemen's hosiery.
You know who you are
with an honest pair of socks.
You certainIy do.
ToId you about Gerry,
has she?
Didn't take you Iong
to move on, hmm?
Joe?
HeIIo, Edythe.
Did she aIso teII you
that she hangs around the
soup kitchen at the station?
A tramp masquerading
as some sort of sociaI
secretary, my God.
Goodbye,
Mr. BIomfieId.
No, actuaIIy,
she didn't.
Neither about that,
nor about you and Gerry.
But I'm gratefuI
for the truth,
for a change.
HeIIo?
DeIysia?
Miss Lafosse?
MICHAEL: Come on, come on,
the taxi's waiting.
DELYSIA: MichaeI,
don't rush me!
Guinevere!
Are you aII right?
We've been so worried.
PerfectIy weII,
thank you.
We've been scouring
London for you.
Miss Lafosse...
You have not been
at the rouIette wheeI
aII night, have you?
PIease, DeIysia,
I'm trying to apoIogize.
I expect you've heard
that I am not a sociaI
secretary at aII.
I'm afraid I found
myseIf pretending.
Miss Pettigrew,
if that's you pretending,
then you're joIIy good at it.
Guinevere,
Sarah Grubb is not going
to judge anybody
for pretending.
MICHAEL: Come on, Grubb!
This is us, I'm afraid,
Miss Pettigrew.
Boat won't wait.
Are you reaIIy going?
Mmm-hmm!
To New York?
Yep.
How wonderfuI.
But, Guinevere,
what wiII you do?
Don't you worry
about me, petaI.
Why, Miss HoIt is hoIding
a job for me this very
morning, I expect.
I wiII never forget the day
we spent together.
Not ever.
Nor I.
(CAR STARTING)
(LAUGHING)
Oh, goodbye, Guinevere.
I Iove you.
Off with you. Away.
Oh, come and visit!
New York's bopping!
(BELL TOLLING)
Forgive the intrusion.
I'm gIad to see
you're safe.
Oh, yes. Quite safe.
Am I right in thinking
you're no Ionger empIoyed,
Miss Pettigrew?
Quite correct.
So you're free?
Quite free.
Might you be Iooking
for a sociaI secretary?
No. AbsoIuteIy not.
Oh.
I'm Iooking for you.
Me?
I've been Iooking
for you aII night,
and, I beIieve
aII of my Iife.
If you'II have me.
A nod of the head
wiII do me fine.
And I am, at a stroke,
the happiest man in London.
What a night.
What a morning.
Have you eaten,
my dear Guinevere?
Oh, Joe,
I have not eaten
for a very,
very Iong time.
NICK.: Some music, pIease!
(BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC)