Miss Impossible (2016) - full transcript

I mean, what's the point of a nose?

Or a chin? Or knees?

Me, first day back at school. Pretty ugly.

Put me away in a box
on the top shelf of the closet.

Bring me out once a year for Halloween.

Display me on top of the TV.

MISS IMPOSSIBLE

Aurore!

You ready?

The best thing about repeating a year
is you know it's gonna suck.

This year feels all wrong.



You're psychic now?

Yeah, psychic, why not? You have hair.

Fill out the whole form.
Anything you don't understand, just ask.

We are class 7A.

Leave the boxes at the top empty.
I fill those out.

Why teach when you're pregnant?

You usually just yell out?
Did I ask you to speak?

First, you put your hand up

and ask yourself
if your question's relevant. Alright?

Let's not spend all day on this.

- Aurore, my form doesn't interest you?
- Not really.

I won't keep you here.

You mean I should leave?

Yes, you leave.



Go to the principal's office. Now.

Move it!

Quiet, everybody.

That's right. Goodbye.

Workbooks out.

- You can go with Aurore.
- What did we do?

Aurore!

- Not again.
- If you say so. What then?

Use your imagination. Work.

- I'm working.
- No!

- Alright. I can't do it.
- Everybody can.

You can't repeat two years.

Think of your future. Get some help.

Ask Sophie. She's brilliant, so I hear.

- Isn't Sophie your sister?
- No.

She is your sister.

But she's different.

- She was sick when she was little.
- Sick?

Very sick. Kind of...

Some kind of nervous shock.

She was adopted when she was a baby.

It's no fun for me, honest.

Seriously, you tire me out.

The problem with teachers
is you never know what they want.

Sometimes you gotta answer straight. Sometimes...

There she is. Sophie.

The other one's the oldest, Jessica.

Thinks she's the boss
'cause she got a diploma.

- Channel 4, please.
- Quiet, I can't hear it.

Can't you see I'm working?

You're smart enough.

- I'm gonna tell Mom.
- Sure.

After two hours,
you must be done by now.

Mommy!
They won't let me do my homework.

Shut up, we can't concentrate!

Concentrate on what?

I won't be home for dinner.

Aurore, can you turn it down?

Wonder what you're having for dinner!

- Just wait, little rat!
- See, she is a rat!

Cut it out, girls!
Just wait till Dad gets home.

- Dad's working tonight?
- I just said.

See you.

- Aurore, come and help.
- Why is it always me?

Actually, you're always the one making...

You need to learn to help.

Put all that in the fridge.

Go on.

Properly.

Take the bake out to make more room.

- What's up?
- Nothing.

Just that it's a bake.
What did we do wrong?

You're not happy? Take off!

Easier said than done. Where'd I go?

Bake off to boarding school.
Eat bake every day.

Not funny.

It is a bit.

It's about money, not funny.

No money, no boarding school.
I love poverty.

You're kidding me! What's with you?

What did we do to deserve this?

She's a pain. Born that way.

A pain and a prude.

A pain just because I don't like bakes?

What's wrong? You hurt yourself?

My back locked up.

- Doing what?
- Opening a door.

- Quit doorman duties, let's do payroll.
- You bet.

Hey.

He's Marceau.
Lola's divorced dad's girlfriend's son.

I went out with him.
Lola went out with him.

Now who knows
who's going out with him.

How does it feel?

Scary all on your own?

How come?

In 7th grade.

We'll hardly ever see you.

Why do you say that?
Are you an idiot or what?

It's cool repeating.

Middle school's like home. I'm chillin'.

Anyway...

I'll always be there for you.
If you wanna go out.

I don't see the point.

You're not an easy guy
to love every day.

That's what I'm saying.
We won't be together the whole time.

1337 marks the start
of the Hundred Years' War.

In 1415 comes the debacle at Agincourt.

Civil war brings devastation
to the whole kingdom.

In 1429
Joan of Arc joins Charles VII in Chinon.

She's burned alive two years later
in Rouen by the English.

I'll recap.

1337, start of the Hundred Years' War.

France's first defeat at Crécy in 1346.

Followed by defeat at Poitiers in...

Let's explore
the first declension in Latin.

Joan of Arc joins Charles VII in Chinon.

Rosae, Rosae, Rosas.

1661, Louis XIV accedes to the throne.

Rosarum.

2x + 7x = 25.

15x + (99 - 2) = 109.

I want it done before the weekend.

C'mon, hand over the Carambars.

Perfect.

Shit! I look like a sumo!

HISTORY LESSON

C'mon, Samira! Say yes!

Hi, Stéphane. Hi, Kahina.

Best thing about Samira,
living in a café.

Her big flaw, her brothers.
She thinks we come to hit on them.

She's not totally wrong.

- Me too!
- Yup, you too.

Sometimes I can't believe
how uninhibited I am.

I get the weirdest ideas.

Like the shy chick
who suddenly bursts into song.

Freaky!

I can see you there. Come on in!

- Come in.
- Hello.

Take your seats.

Good morning!

The pregnancy epidemic
means we got a substitute.

Quickly.
Let's get the introductions over with.

Hood off, please.

- Me?
- Yes.

Sit down. Don't take your books out.
Leave your bags on the floor.

Anybody else?

Playing a stupid prank?

So, here we go. Hello.

I'll introduce myself.
I am Sébastien Quest.

I know, it's funny at first.

I found it funny, too. For five minutes.
After that, I wasn't laughing.

I'll talk to you as grownups.

What does that mean?
It means I respect you

and won't treat you like little babies.

Can you sit up, please, miss?

Let me also explain
how I'll grade your work.

In my class, you start out with 10/20.

"Wow, that's amazing.
Thanks for the free points."

To introduce you to the system,
we'll start by reading a book.

Quest has ambitions for us.

We'll start with the unutterable...

Chances of pregnancy, zero.

What does "unutterable" mean?

- Something you can't nutter.
- Can't nutter? True.

Unutterable, cannot be nuttered.

Can you conjugate "nutter"?

That which cannot be
expressed or described.

The unutterable, the ineffable...

No one? The indispensable...

Princess of Cleves.

Bad news is, he's insane.

Good news, he doesn't know me.
No police record, slate wiped clean.

Samira!

Where's she going?

- That her brother?
- Yes.

Aurore!

Areski wants to talk to you.

- Why me?
- I look like a messenger?

- What did he say?
- You know, tell Aurore I want a word.

- Hey, how you doing?
- Good.

The other day
when you sang at the café...

Don't blame me. Switch the mic off!

I said something wrong
or you're always so aggressive?

It depends.

Weird. What's he want with her?

I have a band with two friends
and we're looking for a girl singer.

- I thought, maybe you.
- Me?

Sure. You see anyone else here?

Why me?

You seemed fun.

- How about I think it over?
- Not too long.

- Okay, I've thought it over.
- And?

- I don't think I can do it.
- How come?

- Your sister.
- What?

- Your sister.
- Samira?

- What about her?
- She doesn't want us seeing you guys.

She's my friend, one of the few,

so I don't want to fall out
and wind up alone.

Forget Samira. Leave her to me.

- Don't say I said.
- Sure, no worries.

I still can't do it.

Okay, too bad. See you.

- No hug, no kiss?
- I have skin infections. Major allergies.

See you.

What'll you do without me?

Find someone else, obviously.

Sure, of course.

He's hot for you.

Stop, he's off limits.

What's the problem?
Her other brothers are as cute as him?

I'm not even talking to you.

It's weird.
I can't get Marceau out of my head.

- C'mon, your dad's girlfriend's son!
- Butt out!

It's kind of illegal. It can't work.

He asked you to date again?

Yeah, but I said no.

I mean, I liked him but I was bored.

He's not so boring.

- Maybe you're frigid.
- Like on the TV show?

About people who were abused as kids.

- You watched it?
- It was amazing!

- You were abused as a kid?
- I don't remember.

Where are your gizzards?

The idiot left out the gizzards.

- Don't play with your food!
- Like I'd eat it!

What are you doing in French?

The Princess of Cleves.

Her again!
Why The Princess of Cleves?

It's school.

So what? Even in my day,
it was The Princess of Cleves.

- Really?
- You've read it?

- I don't recall.
- I have.

- Little miss perfect!
- It's not my fault.

You need help in the kitchen?

- Gimme a break, Mom.
- Just asking.

Let's eat.

Sophie. Mom, you're next, sorry.

Leg, as usual?

- Hold out your plate, say please.
- Please.

Mom? Breast, leg, wing?

Breast. And wing. You gotta eat.

Anyone in the family aware
I was abused as a kid?

I need to know who by and how.

Or else I'll be frigid forever.

What does that mean?

If this is a joke, it's not funny.

If it's serious, we call the police.

Let's not overreact.

Is this Lola again?

Can't open my mouth now!

Seriously, freaking out like that
over a tiny, little remark.

Hysterical or what?

"I just got
the white sneakers of my dreams.

Do they really go with everything?
Safia, age 14."

She calls you that
and you find nothing better to say?

Maybe she'll work harder.

At least we won't have to put up
with her long face.

Some kids like boarding school.
Prefer it.

Even so, we're not doing it.

It's not sending her to a gulag.

She could do one year.

After autumn break,
we'll put her name down.

I don't know...

Maybe it's a good idea.
I don't know anymore.

Stop worrying. It'll all work out.

Stop worrying? How can I
when it's not working out?

Tomorrow...

I'll take her into the forest.

Relax, she'll find some pebbles.

Precisely. She'll make a trail home.
In the forest, hide her pebbles.

If that doesn't work, the ogre.

She's inedible. Our inedible daughter!

Please! An ogre now!

Honey, I'll call an ogre.

LMAO.

Scary, parents like that.

Some people should be banned
from having kids.

An ogre? Yeah, right.

C'mon...

They really want rid of me.

I have no future, Lola.

- I'm homeless.
- No, you're not.

I am.

Homeless and jobless.

Why not run away? That'll shut 'em up.

They wanna kick you out?
Beat them to it.

Come stay at mine.
I'm your friend, right?

That's not running away,
it's a sleepover.

They just gotta ring the bell.

Word, I'll always be there for you.
Look, your hair. Did I let you down?

Guess not.

But right now,
the result's not exactly amazing.

Aurore, come and sit down.

- I have homework.
- Sit down.

What have you done to your hair?

Well...

I hope you realize
that what you said at lunch...

Listen, will you?

Either you're trying to provoke us...

If so, don't let it happen again.

Or it's something else,
and I need to know.

I can't talk to you about it.

- Your mother then?
- Not her either.

Stop jigging around.

Your mother and I think...

You're unhappy here with us.

That's why boarding school
seems a good solution.

That way, you're rid of me.

- What do you mean?
- Sure.

- Abandon me, problem solved.
- Don't be silly.

It all makes sense.

It's better if I commit suicide.

Right, I'll commit suicide.

That way, you'll be happy.

And you'll save money.

Aurore!

Stop spouting crap, it's annoying.

Quit jigging, will you?

That all? Are we done?

No.

Start by picking up your mess.

It's all my fault.
What'll you do when I'm gone?

What? You looking for a slap?

Quit jigging!

Stop it!

Okay, Dad hates me too now. So sad.

To my sort of family

- You wrote your letter?
- Yeah.

Asking for what?

A new cellphone.

Idiot! It's about boarding school.
Who runs away for a phone!

I ask for whatever I want.

You run away if you're so interested.

That day, I set a runaway world record.
The shortest ever.

Here, this is it.

You're kidding? I'm not staying there.

You're shitting me?

All my hard work!

Two days there, you're out of your mind!

You're a pain in the butt!

Know what? You're rotten to the core.
You'll wind up alone.

Yeah, right. I'll have real friends
at boarding school!

"Master Fox, attracted by the odor,
tried to entice him thus,

'Master Crow, good day,
most handsome, good-looking bird!

In truth, if your song
is as beautiful as your plumage,

you're the phoenix of the forest.'

Hearing this, the crow felt great joy..."

Nawenn, pen in your nose, bad idea.

I'm not allowed
to give you aspirin for a headache,

so opening you up
to retrieve a pen, forget it.

The Princess of Cleves. Let's ask...

Everybody looks down...

Miss... Aurore.

Sucks for her!

What have I done?

I don't know. You tell me.

Tell you what?

I'd suggest
you summarize the story for the class.

On your feet.

Stand up, speak clearly.

Go ahead.

Seriously, it's totally obvious
the story's made up.

You bet.

So the princess, at 16,
marries this old dude.

That's dumb. It only happens in India
or in some remote region.

Then she falls in love
with a guy like her,

mega good looking, mega rich,

and he's nuts about her.

Mr. Perfect, how convenient!

Prince Charming!
Like this is Snow White.

She blows him off for some reason.
Gets some dumb idea into her head.

Anyway, then she...

Guess what.

I've no idea, I wonder.

Who's she gonna ask for advice?
About what to do?

Her mom! I mean, please!
Who asks their mom for advice?

Please.

Mommy says no, of course,
so she tells her boyfriend,

"Love rescinded, Mom says no.
Not to mention hubby."

As if!

So they're super unhappy
'cause mom's totally lame.

Then they all die.

A total trainwreck.

Nobody's buying a word of it.

Okay, okay.

It's a novel after all.

So...

One thing's for sure and that's...

You didn't get your arguments online.

That makes me very happy.

And then...

It's your personal opinion.
Very personal.

It's what you wanted.
Not an unpersonal opinion.

Your essay says all that?

Short but sweet, sure.

"Short but sweet"? How about
just as sweet but the long version?

After what I've just heard,
I'll give you all weekend

to write up your personal opinions. Bye.

Bravo for your answer.

Now you have to write it up,

so try to focus

on the literary analysis.

Saying "trainwreck" reveals certain gaps.

Are you saying it was no good?

Sure it was good. I mean, good...

It sounded a bit
like you skimmed through the book.

That'd be dumb.

'Cause you read it, right?
Not skim-read it.

Eye contact?

Smile? No, yes? Go.

Goodbye.

Lola would be mad at me for all eternity.
I guess she was right.

I disrespected her
and her dumbass room.

Homework for Monday?

- Can I help?
- No, my grades drop after.

It's French. I could at least...

Forget it. It's different French now.

Seriously, you've no idea.

Everything okay at home?

- You know.
- My little pumpkin.

Forget it.

Sophie gets A grades
and Mom loves her.

Jessica has her boyfriend
and, anyway, she's Jessica.

Me? I dunno. A void.

I suck.

I don't think so. You're wonderful.

You trying to be nice or make me cry?

C'mon, knock it off.

Sunday, at lunch... Why'd you say that?

Because I'm frigid.

Saw you!

Not kidding anymore.

Off you go.

Frigid?

Frigid?

Frigid as in...

Sure, when I dated Marceau,
Lola's step-brother, I was so bored.

Smooching, holding hands, all that.

That's not frigid.

- You'll have to explain.
- Simple. Wrong boy.

So you mean I'm a lesbian.

No.

Look, it's like your mom.

- Mom?
- Before she found your father.

The number of guys she brought home!

- You're joking?
- Not at all.

- How many?
- Let's see. One...

He was the first.

Okay, the whole bunch.

At least 45. Plus the ones I never met.

- No way!
- I'm telling you.

- Check out the tattoos.
- Mom's got tattoos?

- Where?
- All over.

I don't believe you.

What's the minimum?
I mean, before you find the right one.

Depends. There's no set rule.

One, two, three, five, six...

Pick up sticks.
Seven, eight, nine, glass of wine.

Ten, 11, 12, dig and delve.

Young woman, lonely rat,

most likely lesbian,
despite what her granny says,

seeks young man to number.

So, number 1, Marceau.
Number 2, Areski.

Hold on, don't you have allergies
or infections or whatever?

All cleared up.

I like it, you're early.

Just a bit. Don't go thinking
I came to hit on you.

- That's lucky.
- Why? You're saying I'm ugly?

That's not the problem.

It's just that girls... I'm not into them.

So you're... You mean you're...

Right.

I'll introduce you.

Guys...

So, David on bass and keyboards.

- And Tom on drums.
- Hi.

Aurore changed her mind.

I didn't change my mind.

I just thought I'd give it a try...

Hey.

Ready?

Yes.

- The yogurt version.
- What version?

Yogurt. Like with a mouthful of yogurt.

Yeah, not literally.

Forget the lyrics.

How does that involve yogurt?

It's a concept. To hear your voice.

Can we do this?

One, two...

Go for it.

Actually, I think it's too deep for you.

Try singing it an octave higher.

Same thing.

Got it?

- No pressure.
- Relax.

Let's go.

Now it's too high.

Half a tone or a tone lower.

You're still in the high notes,
just a bit deeper.

- Again?
- Let's go.

Three guys, only one girl.

I call that a miracle!

Cute, the drummer boy.

A total 10.

Maybe none of the guys date girls.

Maybe our band's not about sex,
just united in music.

Beautiful. Dumb but beautiful.

Mr. Balthazar...

If you insist on writing things like 411

and you expect me to know
it's an abbreviation for "information..."

Silence!

...you won't improve on 10/20.

Pay attention, please.

Gina, same goes for you.
Too many mistakes, no punctuation.

No periods, capitals, commas.

And punctuation...

makes your sentence make sense.

Remember that. I won't say it all year.

A young lady who surprised me,

in terms of effort
on grammar and spelling,

is Miss Aurore.

- What?
- Seriously?

Very seriously.

A few gems, even so.

Reindeer is not two words, Rain-Dear.

That doesn't exist.

As I said before, we're not
up to speed on literary analysis,

or even the embryo of literary analysis...

Don't say embryo, Mr. Quest.
It makes me feel faint.

A young lady with lexical sensitivities,
that's important.

And it was funny.

So for all these reasons and efforts,

I hope this grade will encourage you.

Fifteen!

Yes, 15/20.

Watch out, 15 this time.

But in future homework,
try to show more interest...

Silence, please!

More interest in the text itself.

That goes for everyone.

The text's meaning, its scope...

A book, remember, is not just a story.

What else is it?

It's...

It's what escapes words
that words must say.

Thrown you for a loop. I suggest...

I didn't get who escaped what,
but it's cool.

I nodded wisely
just to make him happy.

All I knew was,
that was my first ever 15.

Since kindergarten.

However, after the vacation, I want you
to have read Tristan & Isolde...

It's a love story like...

Hold up.

We have our theme, let's keep at it.

The Princess of Cleves, love story.

Now another love story,
Tristan & Isolde.

It's thrilling. If it bores you,
tell me why in your essay.

Your personal opinion
with solid arguments. Right, Aurore?

Put your essays away now.
Let's do some conjugation!

Number 3.

Hey.

I'm on drums.

Number 3.

Tom, you know.

Drums are great.

Some songs I wrote.
It'd be great if you...

If you could sing them.

And he writes songs.

But if he writes songs like these,
I'm a songwriter.

Any chance of reworking the lyrics?
Kind of more...

Real lyrics.

What's the problem?
All you gotta do is sing.

I need to feel the lyrics.
I'm not feeling these.

If you're so smart, write your own.

Okay, I get it. I gotta bounce. Bye.

Could be the beginning
of a great love story.

They hate each other
but love wins out.

Mr. Quest!

Aurore.

Thinking about what you said,

do you have any books that aren't too big,

not much text or characters, a quick read?

- A quick read?
- Short, you know.

- Short stories?
- No, real books.

Let me think, not a lot of text,

not many characters, no story...

You want thrills, emotions and so on?

That's better. Any names?

Try Francis Ponge.

Like SpongeBob?

Exactly. Like SpongeBob.
Off Ground Tag.

- You're kidding?
- You'll enjoy it.

Francis Ponge, Off Ground Tag.

Tag and SpongeBob.
Makes you wonder if he's a real teacher.

You have to read it now you asked.
I'll check.

Excuse me.

Looking for a book, I'm kinda lost.

Seriously, all these books,
a real downer for people.

Nobody'll read all these,
why bother starting?

What are you looking for?

Off Ground Tag.

You're in Human Sciences.
You want Young Adults.

You expect me to check the title
of every book on every shelf?

They're classified in alphabetical order.

Glad to hear it.
I'm not gonna search the whole store.

Let go of me!

Stop it!

2108.

Alexandra?

How d'you know Aurore?

Which dumbass shut the door?

Good job, Aurore!

No way, seriously. Hold up!

I told her that was the cue.

- It's all wrong.
- You're talking out of your ass.

- We said second chorus.
- That's right. First chorus...

Second chorus, not second verse.

- Suicide break.
- Take your time.

Don't get it.

OFF GROUND TAG

Okay, Aurore?

I didn't ask. Any more grades?

Not really, no.

You know...

I never said but...

I'll tell you now.

I'm proud.
Very proud of you, honeybun.

What?

Am I stopping you working?

I said, if you keep it up...

Keep what up?

Getting good grades.

Maybe I can't keep it up.

Could be too late.

Monkeys, for example.

Take a monkey out of the forest
and it's over.

Put it back and it's a disaster.

Yeah. For sure.

Anyway, it's good...

I'm glad we talked.

It's good. I'll take your laundry.

Goodnight, honey.

It's important we had a good chat.

Let's go.

I can't sing, I thread the needle...

- The last one?
- Yes, last one.

- Four beats first.
- Pain in the ass, dude.

The original has no bass.
Don't be selfish.

I'm not selfish.

There are three of us, not two.

Guys, time's up.

- Wanna hear my lyrics?
- Sure.

David, no bass.

- Sting's cool on bass.
- You're Sting?

You say sure, but you keep talking.
Listen up.

You must be joking!

Standing on one foot

Or anything else

Off the ground, up in the air

That's your fate
To find an answer

When you understand nothing at all

Dumbest lyrics I heard in my life.

They're not bad.

Just need a few rhymes and stuff.

David, be honest,
or she'll keep spewing crap.

Tom, I may have to slap you.

Oh, yeah? Just try.

Cool it, Tom.

She dissed my lyrics!

You came off way too brutal.

C'mon, he was messing with you.

Hey, David.

- You okay?
- Good, and you?

- Okay?
- Good, and you?

Hey.

You guys coming to Laura's party tonight?

Yeah.

See you there.

And the third point,
persuade and/or dissuade.

Great, enjoy the vacation. Happy holidays!

Revise injunctive texts.
Five points for developing an argument.

Aurore, come over here a moment.

I started grading your essays.

You realize what you handed in is a joke?

When you write,

"I wonder what makes you set texts
so discouraging under our future terms."

"Under terms." Clear as mud.

"Perhaps you're warning us not to accept
drinks from strangers in clubs!"

Epic fail.

- What?
- An epic fail.

How should I know? That's not a sentence.

Incoherent, random thoughts
without thought.

Angry ranting blurted on the page.

- I should grade that?
- Up to you. You're the teacher.

- What?
- You're the teacher.

One grade won't alter your average.

It will.

Alright, I won't grade it.

Okay? I won't grade you.

On stuff like that.
However, I will ask you to produce

a collection of poems
that you came up with yourself.

Before summer.

I'll grade you on that.

Imagination is your strong suit.

Merry Christmas!

Stick it!

A nativity scene?

Yes, Christmassy. Festive.

Aurore's Nativity!

Distracts me, like you and books.

Don't compare books
to religious propaganda.

Don't be dogmatic. She's having fun.

No baby Jesus! Where's baby Jesus?

I need baby Jesus!

Don't provoke Daddy.

Help me with the baubles.

Lola, it's me.

I miss you.

- So what's happened?
- Nothing.

I've tried to work. I did great in French,
but ages ago now.

Gave it my all.

I can't keep it up forever.

You ease off
and tumble right back to square one.

So why leave square one?

- You'll be my friend when I'm homeless?
- No.

Just kidding.

It's your fault anyway.

I tried to help and you...

- You threw it back in my face.
- As if.

You're seeing Areski?

He's gay.

Don't be so dramatic.
You're such a drama queen.

Best thing about Christmas,
no boarding school talk.

They've forgotten
or not got my report card yet.

Maybe it's the hand of God.

Coming back or still mad?

Aurore, open your presents.

Still mad.

It's Nordic Noir.

It must have guns...

and folks in the snow.

- Stuff you like.
- Great.

- How did you guess?
- My amazing powers of imagination.

My little baby!

Here goes...

You like it?

Love you, Mom.
Even as the butt of your jokes.

You pointed them out.

Vladimir, watch out for senior citizens.

I love Babushka.

Such a cute Babushka.

Where do you want me to hang it?

Dessert!

Yule log!

I didn't make a yule log.

Jellyfish in blood!

Dreamy!

What is it?

Is it alive?

C'mon, what is it?

The holidays are a good time
to make an announcement.

Don't worry, it's good news.

Vladimir asked me... In Russian.

I said yes. I couldn't resist.

It was so moving. I said yes.

You said yes to what?

How does it go again?

Do you want merry me?

Not merry you, marry you.

Who are you going to marry?

Vladush.

What for?

Why not? It's not the end of the world.

You think it's dumb?

- Premature maybe, isn't it?
- Don't worry.

Picture a beautiful Russian wedding.
Their music, you ever listen to it?

It's inspiring.

And I'll become Jessica Askasoskov.

Aksakova.

Pat?

Nothing to say?

No, it's great.

It's an opportunity, it's...

It's a great adventure.

It's a fairy tale.

A Russian fairy tale with a real Russian.

Right?

Pat... What's happened to you?

Give it time.

Yeah, marriage is great.

The dress, the party.
Everybody wants to get married.

Anybody who's frigid has other priorities.

You, you just sit there?

First of all,
we should listen to Vladush.

I'm just very happy that you all agree.

We don't all agree
but we agree anyway.

The priest wants to know

if the bride had a baptism.

A baptism?

We're not...

Catholic here.

Who cares! Baptized or not,
she can have a wonderful wedding.

In our day, nobody married.
Young people today get married.

Don't stir up shit.

- Or we baptize her.
- Aurore.

No worries.
Tomorrow, I'll chop her head off.

Come on, let's eat these...

Do they have a name?

Italian pears in Amalfita coulis.

I found it on the Internet.

They look a bit like breast implants.

It tastes good, this stuff.

They're big boobs!

Absolutely.

You remember when he proposed?
He never did!

Do you hear me complain
you're not married?

So when it's done properly,
smile at least.

Sure.

If Jessica's allowed to get married,

can I go to Samira's New Year's party?

Disco.

Barbie.

Barbie 2.

Prostitute.

Granny.

There's Samira.

You look like two paint pots.

Not that, dude.

Areski said I should apologize.

Yeah.

Sorry I lost my cool. I apologize, y'know.

You're all dolled up.

When guys act like that, they seem stupid.

But really they're complex.

It's what divides the sexes.

Hormones!

Was I mean to dump Marceau?
He looks so sad.

Maybe we'd be super happy,
married and everything.

Actually, me and Marceau, we're dating.

You're mad?

Who, me?

- Say something.
- What can I say?

- Ask me questions, you know.
- I know too much.

Okay?

David!

- You feel okay?
- Just great!

Three, two, one...

Happy New Year!

- I've got it.
- You're sure?

Okay, boys?

Not great.

Can't come anymore.
Too embarrassed.

I wrecked my honor.

I'd succeeded in ruining my life
in not even one party.

World record loser.

I never wanted to see the band.

Never ever again. I'd rather die.

He's nuts!

Don't get so worked up.

You wrecked party and band!
Not honor!

COME SOBER!!!

Alright, chill, I'm sorry.

We were thinking,
you need to work on a style.

I have no style?

No, that's not a style.

That's styleless.

I gotta sing and act the fool?
Anything else?

Don't listen to him, it's just...

It was my idea to begin with.

I came up with... this.

A gift from your favorite band.
It was for later.

I suppose I should thank you.

I wonder who'd fit into it.

For the gig, it's better than nothing.

- What?
- The gig.

We've got a confirmed date.

In public?

Sure, in public.

Tom, your lyrics.

Where? We're going to sing?

At my folks' café. Where else?

Let's get to work.

What if I can't sing?

- I'll kill her.
- I'm not talking to you.

I just wanna hear my lyrics.

You call them lyrics?

You guys are pissing me off.

I'm telling you now, I won't do it.

- You heard what she said?
- She's 13. You're nearly 17.

That dress would make anyone
look six months pregnant.

"Alize."

We'll show that one to your father.

Dad's working tonight?

No, he's visiting a hall for the wedding.

- What are you doing?
- Organizing the wedding.

- And Jessica?
- Guess.

"Azalée." That one's not bad.

No bread left?
Not for the wedding, for me.

If you look, you'll find it.

Will there be bridesmaids?

I don't know.
I need to read up on Orthodox weddings.

If there are, I volunteer.

If there are, count me out.

If there are,
you'll do it for your sister.

And what else?

Doomed to be my sister's sister!
She asked my opinion on marriage?

Go on, give us your opinion.
We're interested.

Forget it.

Think about it.

Where'd you put the phone, Sophie?

Can I have one?

I'm just saying,
you need to be nicer to Mom.

What's that mean?

- It means, be nice.
- I am nice!

Unbelievable family! I'm not nice now.

Don't bother thanking me.

Dirty rat!

Wacko!

Make yourself useful
and help me choose.

- The design for the invitations.
- Make your mind up.

One minute, I suck.
Next, you need my advice.

An hour on Google.

For invitations
that'll wind up in the trash.

Give us a break with your wedding.

Don't be so selfish!

See nothing, hear nothing.
It's all about you and your problems.

You seen yourself?

A hairbrush is a woman's best friend.

You're a mess, you have no friends.
I want more from life.

Stop it!

What are you saying exactly?

I'm ugly and stupid?

Yes. You're alone.
You have no friends, you're a mess.

I'm a mess?

Who do you think you are,
little miss know-it-all?

You look at me
like I'm a useless pile of shit.

What is this here? How old are you?

Look at me!

I can look at you, too, you know.

That's right. Go, get out!

Damn!

Wacko didn't really bother me.

Selfish killed me.

I don't wanna talk to anyone.
In fact, I don't talk to anyone.

Hello, Aurore.

You okay?

Something wrong?

Lucky I ran into you.
I have something for you.

A present!

A book, not a dress at least.

Francis Ponge.

I tried but they didn't like it.
Really hated it.

- Who are "they"?
- The band.

The band. Forget it, doesn't matter.

You liked it
when you read it, didn't you?

SpongeBob.

I have no opinion.

You'll give me a bad grade
or make me write a book.

I just wondered if you liked it.

Yes.

So what do you say?
"Thanks for the book."

Thank you.

For you.

Thanks.

- He's one happy panda.
- It's a teddy bear.

It's all good then.

Chin up.

Forgive this apparent flaw
in our relationship...

Invitations, 200 euros.

The wedding dress, from 100 euros at Tati
to over 5,000. We need a decision.

The reception alone is costing
60% of the overall wedding budget.

I told you so. And I got it half price.

Okay, we know you found the hall.

Hi, Aurore. You okay?

Accessories, 200 euros.

Screw accessories.
I can't spend all day finding them.

- And the bouquet?
- The bouquet?

50 euros.

You need to buy yourself a new suit.

Did you see we chose the date?

It's on my birthday.

Now I gotta buy you a present, too.

That's not what I meant.

No, really.

Mom, can you come here, please?

You can't do this!

Anyway, screw it!

She says she won't do it
just for the party.

Pain in the butt, weddings. I told you.

We have a hall on our hands,
you with a sad face. All a huge waste.

The hall, not you.

It's not her fault it's over.
She can't pretend. It's no big deal.

Yes, I know. I'm being ridiculous.

I'll go buy groceries.

You need anything special?

Bye.

Areski? It's me, Aurore.

No, it's about your stupid concert.

That's when I said,
okay, I'll act the clown.

Then we got cut off. Dead battery.

You're here?

What's up?

- Sure you're okay?
- Yeah.

Relax, it'll be awesome.

You left this behind last time.

The dress.

Don't look. I know there's a mirror.

- Shut your eyes.
- They're shut.

- You done?
- No, not done.

Now?

Done.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

No?

- Who chose the dress?
- I did.

Let's see you at the mic a second.

You did up the...

No.

It's like I never saw him before.

Out of the blue, he falls on me
like a bit of broken satellite.

Number 4. Over here, number 4.

And the hall.

Next!

Next, dammit!

- A problem?
- No.

What are you staring at?
I'm a mess, right? Say it!

I won't make a bake.

- Tell me where we're going.
- It's a surprise.

Why all the ceremonials?

No ceremonials. I abide by protocol.
Not the same thing.

Whatever you do, don't propose to me.

No sweat.

How do I look?

- Super classy.
- Seriously?

I'm ugly, right?

Physically, pretty hot.

It's just I'm not used to it.
I'm used to your style.

I could wear
a gray t-shirt and brown shirt.

Gray and brown, sexy.

How you doing? You ready?

- Where are your shoes?
- What shoes?

You're gonna sing barefoot?

I haven't thought about it.

Don't go on stage with grungy nails.

Nobody'll see them.
And they're not grungy.

Do you have any nail polish?

Here she comes.

Come on.

Ready, over here.

Happy birthday!

Turn this way.

Don't move or I'll mess up.

Stop that. You're moving, I'm messing up.

It wasn't a bit frigid.

Or I had an unknown form
of foot sexuality.

Or it was love. For real. You never know.

Not bad!

Quit laughing, it's not funny.

Mr. Quest?

- I'm Aurore's mom.
- So I see.

- Did she invite you?
- Yes.

It's my birthday.

Apparently. It's a wonderful surprise.

For sure.

You triggered her off in French.
Thank you.

Yes, Francis Ponge and all that.

The trigger.

They're ready to begin.

Hold on, I'll be right back.

Come on.

- What's going on?
- You'll see.

She's tiny. Really tiny.

This one's for Mom.

I take off one summer's eve

Without a kiss before I leave

Or a glance for what we achieved

As soon as I break free

There's an icy chill in the breeze

That's never there with you, Mommy

The house has shut its eyes

Cats and dogs are past their prime

When they come to say goodbye

Couldn't she sing something more upbeat?

I'm leaving never to return

To this village where I was born

And you're resting in your urn

The mommy in the song, she's dead?

Let's see who's dead.

It was never her thing. Never.

- Dancing?
- Never. I told her to do judo instead.

She has no rhythm, two left feet.
He's no better.

If I start loving them,
my life will be unlivable.

It would feel weird.
Too much, too soon.

Look at her, she's all emotional.

I have to hate them for all eternity.

Keep going!

MISS IMPOSSIBLE