Miss All-American Beauty (1982) - full transcript

[screams]

Good morning, your highness.

Good morning.

Your runner-up's
coming this May.

Although you're quite hideous,
you can't get rid of us.

We'll haunt you
till your dying day.

You guys are asking for it.

[screams]

[inaudible]

You're going to get
some royal purple bruises.

[interposing voices]



Buzz, right now, look at you.

Buzzy Butterfield,
is that my good green

dress you're wearing?

Now you take that
off immediately.

Well, not in here.

This is a house
full of lunatics.

George, would you
please do something?

Leave your mother's
good things alone, Buzz.

Go get on a simple house
dress or something.

I just throw up my hands.

I mean, I think
you're all lunatics.

Look here, Sal.

You're on every front
page I could find.

Local girl wins Texas pageant.



Oh, Sal, your pageant
trainer called this morning.

And she's expecting you
in Waco by noon tomorrow.

What for?

I don't know.

She said to call.

She's the sweetest little
Rosebud that Texas ever knew.

Her eyes are like diamonds.

They sparkle like the moon.

You can talk about your
Clementine and sing of Rosalee.

But the yellow rose of Texas
is the only gal for me.

[music playing]

Michael.

Don't laugh.

My personal favorite was
the one contestant whose

whole talent was fly casting.

And her pole wasn't all she
was flicking around either,

I can tell you.

I must have missed her.

I liked the packer.

Remember her?

Oh, and that one
poor girl who thought

that she could play the piano.

Which one was she?

Butterbelly.

Sally Butterbelly or
something like that.

Oh.

I'm going to miss you.

Well, I've got a
lot of work to do.

So frankly, I'll be
relieved to get rid of you

for a few months.

Not so simple.

You have to call me every
day and write me every day.

Now, how come?

You're the one who
enters this contest

and I'm the one who has
to suffer because of it.

What about me?

Lord knows what this
trainer will have me do.

Maybe I'll have to bind my
feet and dye my hair green.

You're the one who kept
insisting that you weren't

going to win this thing.

You were just going to
place and get a scholarship.

Well, you got your
scholarship, and they

got you for three months.

You better not let this
interfere with your music.

I'm serious, Ali.

I mean, I insist
on you practicing

at least two hours a day.

Keep your fingernails
short and don't

let that trainer mess you up.

You always let people tell
you what to do too much.

I won't.

You will.

I know you.

You're always getting
pulled off your own track.

This is a very crucial
point in your music studies.

You tell that trainer
that your piano teacher is

an ex lumberjack with
a very bad temper,

and you've got to practice.

Or else.

OK.

I will.

I will.

OK.

Quit talking so much.

Come here.

Oh, no.

I've just been instructed not
to let other people tell me

what to do.

I know, but the guy who
gives out the instructions

is the one exception.

So that's how it works.

And if his authority is
questioned, he just uses force.

You prehistoric chauvinist.

No, no, no.

You gave up your right to throw
around those feminist phrases.

You get to play
the beauty queen,

I get to play my caveman.

I love you, you know.

Couldn't help it, mom.

That overly ambitious little
Turk from the home office

kept trying to whip up the
whole ballroom into a frenzy

of sale, sale, sale.

Don't give me the
silent treatment, mama.

They're late too.
It worked out good.

Oh, dear.

I'm all dressed up just
dying to entertain a family.

I don't know from Adam.

I had the lights off of my
teeth out by 7:30 last night.

As far as I'm
concerned, a chimpanzee

could have won that contest.

Well, she's far from it, mama.

She's perfect.

She's wholesome.

Not too much of a knockout.

An honor student, not
a trace of cellulite.

Well, she got buckets
to learn, but who cares?

The only girl who even came
close was Waxahachie's entry.

The poor thing, her bathing
suit kept riding up in her rear.

That must be her.

Well, she's a
plucky little thing.

Look at her lift that luggage.

I hope I don't have the
usual trouble with the mother.

Well, I hope you're
not bringing me

one of those nervous
tap dancers like

last year's what's-her-name.

Like tulip, my kitchen and now.

She's a classical pianist.

But I'll fix that.

Well, that's them.

Guess who gets to
provide the refreshments.

I'll be in to help
you later, mama.

Here are my Butterfields.

Come on in.

Miss Blaine, this
is my husband, George.

And of course you
already know our Sally.

Hon, the first time
I laid eyes on you,

I said to myself, Agatha, here
before you is sublime pageant

material if ever there was any.

Oh.

Yes, well, we've always
thought that she was extra,

extra special.

I promise you both
in two months time,

she'll be so gorgeous you
won't even recognize her.

Oh, this is real.

[music playing]

Sally.

Pageant rule number one.

Talent is only as
good as its packaging.

You probably just can't
relate to this highbrow stuff.

The higher the brow, the lower
the score, as the judges say.

But I'm a classical pianist.

What can I tell you, sugar?

All I know is people
around me were nodding off.

They were?

Now, this Joplin piece is
just what the doctor ordered.

Oh, it'll have
everybody's feet tapping.

Miss Blaine, this isn't me.

I really want to
play my Beethoven.

Let me introduce you
to Blaine's law, Sally.

Now open your ears.

If you want to
get what you want,

you have to give
them what they want.

Have I been heard?

Yes.

You can show your stuff and
tug at their patriotic heart

strings at the same time, and
here's what you're going to do.

Watch here.

A sparkle, now let's see it.

There's my winner.

All right now.

[music playing]

Chin up.

Where's that sparkle?

What's so fascinating
on the floor?

I don't want to
fall off this thing.

This runway is your friend.

I'll have you on
it so much you'll

feel funny on solid ground.

Keep your lips loose,
not that loose.

People'll think you're
ready for anything.

The swivel is the
enemy of the glide.

You've got to glide
through your space.

Glide.

Do you see me laughing?

No, ma'am.

Beauty is achieved,
not received.

You're headed for some
tough competition.

You're a natural beauty, Sally.

But it's my job to
turn you into a winner.

Now, the key to inner
beauty is serenity.

The key to outer
beauty is inner beauty.

Therefore my two
magic words, as if.

Act as if you are serene.

[laughter]

Up she goes.

Oh, Hallelujah.

What do you think, mama?

We might just have
ourselves a winner here.

I'd vote for her
in a hot minute.

Mama, this pie is
like a slice of heaven.

Agatha's had me on insect food.

Well, it's working because
you're pretty as a postcard.

Don't raise up your arm,
you'll hike up the side.

Where is that Michael?

He said he'd be
here at 3 o'clock.

Well, you
certainly don't sound

like a girl who's got her
mind set on winning the crown.

Mama, I don't want to
win this whole thing.

I just want to be a
finalist or something.

You know that.

I think we better get
something straight here.

Do you have any idea
what it could mean

to you if you win this contest?

I mean, you would get
to do things that people

only read about in magazines.

Mama, I have my plans.

I mean, I still have
to get my degree and--

well, Michael.

Well, now you know
that I think that Michael

just hung the moon.

But if you're going to let your
feelings for him jeopardize

your chances of
winning this contest,

then you're going to regret
it for the rest of your life.

Mama, he's the man I love.

Now you listen to me.

You are one of the
prettiest and smartest girls

in the best city in
Texas, and you deserve

to have your pick of men.

And you deserve to
travel, and to have first.

Chances like this just aren't
deposited on doorsteps.

Trust me please.

How are y'all doing, ladies?

Oh.

Hi there, Michael.

How are you, Queen Mother?

Watch out.

I'm covered in pins.

Well, my dear.

Thorns make a rose
more interesting.

Excuse us, miss Butterfield.

But all I've had my hands
on for the last three months

has been piano keys.

Michael.

Your daughter seems to have
grown a tad, don't you think?

Now you just behave
yourself, y'all.

I'm going inside to
fix these puff sleeves.

I'll be back to my
sloppy old self real soon.

Don't worry.

Was I complaining?

You look great.

Wait.

What are you going to do?

Shower me in diamonds?

That's next week.

Just turn this way,
your celestialness.

I want to get a
picture of us together.

Oh, my rose.

Oh.

Wait a minute.

OK, quick, kiss me.

So it'll look like
we're in love.

Quick.

[interposing voices]

Could you believe
that orientation?

Especially the part about not
getting to be alone with a man,

not even your father.

Thank the Lord my boyfriend
Ernie didn't come.

He'd probably dress up like a
chaperone or something crazy

and get me in trouble.

I love the part
where she kept saying,

our swimsuit division
is not vulgar.

It's strictly to reveal
our girls' hygiene.

They want to check hygiene,
they ought to see how

many cavities each girl has.

I guess we'll just have
to grin and bear it.

Bare it is right.

Oh, watch out for that one.

Her bra strap was hanging
out at breakfast when

one of the judges walked by.

So I leaned over to
tuck it in for her.

The child nearly
only bit my hand off.

[applause]

Thank you, ladies.

Thank you very much.

Good morning.

Well, now that you've
all registered,

it gives me
immeasurable pleasure

and pride to welcome you on
this glorious July morning.

You are quite simply
the most well-groomed,

talented, and healthy young
women our country has to offer.

But let me remind you, we are
not the Miss America pageant.

We don't have a
history to stand on.

But what a challenge.

As a young contest, we get
to carve out tradition.

The reporters that you
see here-- how do you do?

So nice to see you--
have been invited

to the first press coverage
of this exciting event.

So please line up, will you,
for the first official portrait?

Line up right here.

So by the way,
what's your name?

I'm Libby Beloit.

Oh, I'm Sally Butterfield.

Butterfield?

Now there's a luscious name.

Beloit must be the worst.

My boyfriend Ernie?

He says it sounds like a
marble dropping into a toilet.

Oh.

Oh, she's not going to
pull that old stunt.

Come on.

Oh, my God.

[screams]

Disgraceful.

Stop.

Sally, Felicity, no!

[interposing voices]

[music playing]

Sally, you were wonderful.

You were just wonderful.

I could just faint.

Oh, me too.

I'm so nervous my
knees are knocking.

Maybe they'll think
it's my tap shoes.

Yeah.

Oh, Sally.

I've just got to
get in the finals.

I've got a whole cheering
section out there.

Cousins, aunts, neighbors.

You name it, they're out there.

[applause]

Could you believe
that, Felicity?

I mean, you got to admit
the girl can play the harp.

Well, I remember
her chaperone saying

she's got the title wrapped up.

Ladies, ladies.

Quickly, hurry.

Stage right immediately!

[interposing voices]

Hurry!

Number six in our
top eight finalists.

From Illinois, Miss
Felicity Winthrop.

[applause]

The next to last finalist,
ladies and gentlemen,

from Texas, Miss
Sally Butterfield.

[applause]

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the judges' final choice.

From New York,
Miss Cynthia Veazy!

[applause]

There you are,
ladies and gentlemen.

The judges' favorites.

Our next queen will be one of
these eight lovely young ladies

you see before you now.

Felicity Winthrop
is 22, a student

at Northwestern
University, majoring

in television and film.

Her hobby is raising
Pekingese pups,

in preparation for the world's
oldest Java ball, motherhood.

At 18 years old, Miss Sally
Butterfield is our youngest

contestant this year.

She's an honor student in
music at Leland University.

Sally plans to pursue a
career as a concert pianist.

Her goal is to enter
the Tchaikovsky

competition in Moscow.

Cecelia Johnson is 21
years old, and a student

at the University of Michigan.

The daughter of an Air
Force Colonel, Cecelia

has been singing since
before she could talk.

Her dream is to perform
at the Metropolitan Opera.

Ladies, ladies.

Make me proud of you.

Please.

Oh, cover those teeth
with petroleum jelly.

We don't want our lips hitched
up in midair if our mouths

go dry from nerves.

Remember, there's not
a loser among you.

Good luck to you all.

Break a leg.

Those idiot judges could look
right out of Fanny Overhang

and not even recognize it.

Lucky for you they can
look right at False's and not

recognize them.

[interposing voices]

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Somebody put oil in your
hairspray container.

Oh.

Oh, what kind of viper
slithered in here

would pull a stunt like this?

Never mind.

I'll fix this.

Just pretend it didn't happen.

That powder gave it
even more body anyway.

All right.

Now just look judges straight
in the eye and thank them.

Thank them for being part
of this glorious program.

Oh, I'm going to have
a nervous breakdown.

[music playing]

All right, ladies
and gentlement.

Our third runner up is
from the state of Michigan,

Miss Cecelia Johnson!

[applause]

And our second runner
up, from the state of New

Mexico, Miss Heather Green!

[applause]

Congratulations, Felicity.

Thank you.

And now, the moment that
you've been waiting for.

And I'd like to remind you that
of course if for any reason

our new queen can't
fulfill her duties,

her runner up will
take over her title.

Our first runner up,
ladies and gentlemen,

is from Illinois,
Felicity Winthrop!

Our new reigning queen is
from right here in Texas,

Miss Sally Butterfield!

[applause]

Oh, Sally!

Oh, Sally!

No more of this, Sally!

No more of this!

This is the real thing!

The real thing!

[screams]

Dreamed the winning
myself, Sally.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

I sure am going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you, Libby.

Sally.

Sally, I need, I
need-- excuse me.

If you don't mind, Sally,
I need you quickly.

Sally, dear, I'd
like you to meet

our vice president
of public relations,

Mr. Avery MacPherson.

Pleasure to meet you, sir.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Oh, honey.

Mom.

Oh, darling.

Dad.

Oh, mom.

This is Mr. MacPherson.

He's the president.

My pleasure, sir.

That isn't right?

No.

No, vice president
of public relations.

You look like a little angel.

We couldn't stay to see
you crowned, though,

because the policemen
dragged us out of our seats

before it was over.

Oh, I can't believe
this is happening.

I know.

If you invest your daughter's
earnings wisely this year,

she'll end up with a
secure financial future.

Yes, sir.

I just hope she's
going to be happy.

Sally!

Sally!

It paid off, didn't it?

You showed them how to do it.

Miss Blaine, you've
done an exemplary job

with Miss Butterfield.

Well, she's a
hard worker, sir.

I'm glad to hear that.

Oh.

Oh, yes, I did.

Certainly would have
preferred the Winthrop girl.

Could have gotten much
more mileage out of her.

Well, I tried to warn the
judges to pick me a pro,

but they're not the ones
responsible for sales.

Let's just hope she's
as malleable as she seems.

Mrs. Hunnicutt says you
have to leave tonight.

So we probably won't get
a chance to talk again.

She says you'd be getting
a whole new wardrobe.

And I just want you
to know that mom

and I'll get your
stuff on home for you.

And I'll notify the
music department that you

won't be back this year.

Wow, everything's
happening so fast.

I hate to say goodbye like this.

You call us the minute
you ever need anything,

or even if you
don't need anything.

We'll sure miss you.

Time is up.

They're holding up the press
conference for you, Sally.

There's no time to waste.

I'm sure you understand,
Mr. Butterfield.

Hug the boys for me, dad.

Take care of yourself.

Here he is.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Well, see you after the press
conference, Mr. McPherson.

In your office, right?

In my office.

Yes.

Well, you're an
accomplished pianist.

I was very impressed.

Thank you.

That was just a popular
piece they asked me to play.

I'm really a classical pianist.

Oh, I look forward
to hearing your best.

Have you ever met
the press before?

No.

Not really.

Do not let them pressure
you into answering anything

that you aren't sure of.

All you need to say is that you
have no opinion at this time.

Now, what is your hobby?

They always ask that.

I do yoga.

It's too un-American.

Just say you do aerobics.

Now if they ask you anything
about abortion, gun control,

smoking, drinking,
drugs, premarital sex,

the ERA, just say it's
all right for others,

but you yourself wouldn't.

You're not engaged
or anything, are you?

No.

Good.

If they ask about that,
just say you haven't

met that special someone yet.

OK.

OK.

Ready?

Yes.

Good.

You know, Agatha,
I've been wanting

to have this little chat.

Come in, dear, come right in.

I've watched you now for,
well, a number of years.

And your girls are
always impressive.

Oh.

Well, my mother's
always saying I'm

too old to do volunteer work.

Never.

Well, but you know how it is.

Oh, once you catch them, the
pageant favorite, you just

can't get it out of your blood.

I know.

And Sally clearly responds
well to you, Agatha.

So it seems a natural
choice for you

to continue on as her
chaperone during her reign.

Well that is, of course,
if you'd be interested.

Oh.
Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, now that that's settled,
here are your airline tickets.

Where are we going?

New York.

Sally's makeover
starts tomorrow.

Hair, nails,
wardrobe, et cetera.

She does her first television
interview on Friday.

Here's your itinerary for
the year, the rule booklet,

credit cards, list of
business representatives.

Your limos and
flight arrangements

will be prearranged.

Agatha, you will open
all Sally's mail.

Answer all phone calls.

She must never answer
the door, and of course,

never consume liquor.

Oh.

But foremost, Agatha, there
will be no male visitors

alone at any time.

You will be present
continuously.

I needn't elaborate
on the scandals that

have ensued for
other pageants when

this rule has been slighted.

Am I making myself clear?

Oh.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh.

Yes.

Thank you.

You must remember the press
will always try to trap you.

Never give them what they want.

I know you sensed that
that lady from the Gazette

was trying to lure you--

Michael.

When did you get here?
Where have you been?

The guard at the stage
door wouldn't believe

that I was your boyfriend.

I told you that picture
would come in handy.

God, I can't tell you
how good it is too see you.

Can't we just have a few
minutes alone together?

It is against the rules.

Please.

All right.

Five minutes.

Five minutes.

I'll meet you in Mrs.
Hunnicutt's office.

Michael.

Nobody had a chance
with you up there.

You were resplendent.

You were.

I've never even said
that word before.

I just feel like
this giant clock

is going to strike
midnight and everything's

going to disappear.

I'll turn from a handsome
coachman back into a hound dog.

You'll turn back into a pumpkin.

What are you doing?

You had to go and
win, didn't you?

I never dreamed it
would turn out like this.

So, what are you going to do?

You're just going to
give up your music?

Michael, if I
quit now, I'll lose

everything, the scholarship.

I'll be right back
where I started.

I don't have to lose my music.

I can practice every day.

Don't you have to
travel like crazy?

Well, I guess so.

But I can practice
on hotel pianos.

Michael, we don't have
to lose each other.

We can write, we can make
trips to see each other.

I'll write you every day.

We can make it work.

Well, this half's
sure going to be trying.

Well, good, this half too.

A photographer.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Sir, I am terribly sorry.

But we must reserve the
public's right to view

their queen as unattached.

I'm sure you understand.

This is totally unacceptable.

Sally, you're now the queen,
and I'm sure your little friend

understands.

Her little friend's name
is Michael Carrington,

and he understands
that they've been

promised a few minutes alone.

Out of the question,
Mr. Carrington.

Her public is waiting for her
upstairs at the pageant ball.

You two can have your
little talk up there.

Come on, Sally.

Sally.

I love you more
than words can say.

Meet me in the broom
closet at midnight.

I wanted to let you catch a
few extra winks for your 9:00

AM meeting with Mr. MacPherson.

You've only been
asleep three hours.

Well, good morning, darling.

Now, you listen to me.

Never answer that phone.

Miss Hunnicutt said it would
be unbefitting to the title.

Who are all these
telegrams and flowers from?

Admirers.

Well, maybe not all admirers.

Let me screen those.

Agatha, we're in New
York City, aren't we?

Well, I assume it's
still down there.

So magnificent.

Agatha, remind me I've
got to send Michael

a postcard from Lincoln Center.

It's always been my dream
to perform there someday.

Oh, Agatha.

What now?

Pinch me so I'll
know I'm not dreaming.

Oh.

It is unbefitting to the title
for the queen to have bruises.

Well, you could
just hot roll it,

that would make it
look short on top.

No, dear.

Watch the hair
twirling as well.

You did that during
your press conference.

It really doesn't become you.

And it reads
dreadfully on camera.

You have your first
talk show tomorrow.

So drop it.

Oh.

The eyes have got to go.

We'll bring
Francois in tomorrow.

Oh, heavens, no.

That's more like it.

Yes, she's definitely
the winter type.

I like yellow.

I've always felt good in yellow.

Yes, dear.

By the way, prints are not you.

No hands on the face, Sally.

Oh, I had no idea you had
such short little nails.

She'll have to wear fake ones.

No.

I have to keep my nails
short for piano practice.

Let me explain
something to you, Sally.

You now symbolize the
ideal American woman.

You'll be meeting dignitaries
and heads of corporations,

but you have never been
exposed to this way of life.

So trust us to know what's
appropriate for you, will you?

I dare say you won't
be disappointed.

Well, now, the
picture of propriety.

Isn't it a wonderful feeling?

Well, there just aren't
words to describe it.

Seems to me we have a little
something to top it off with.

Tada!

Oh.

Oh.

I think I could become a legend.

Oh, yes, I always watched
the contest when I was little.

It's funny I hadn't
thought about this before,

but I used to always
cry for the winner.

You know, I'd take an
old plumber's helper

and act like it was my scepter.

And then I'd march around
like I was on the runway.

And you never,
ever dreamt that it

would be up there someday?

Never.

I've always been shy.

It was hard to picture
myself competing like that.

The competing was hard
for me, especially

the bathing suit part.

Believe me, to go through the
embarrassment of having a crowd

stare at your
derriere, you really

have to want to play the piano.

Really?

Well, you know.

You may have just touched
on one of the great ironies

of the contest.

It's called the
scholarship, but there

aren't many girls up there
with glasses on now, are there?

Well, no, sir.

But lots of contact lenses.

That's very true.

Let's see, Sally.

You have to admit
she's intelligent.

I like her spunk.

I still say
write her speeches.

Ghost her.

We can't run the risk.

She's a malleable girl.

She won't give us any trouble.

You're probably right.

Well, how does your boyfriend
feel about all of this?

Well, sir.

I haven't met that
special someone yet.

I grew up having the same dream
as all little American girls,

to be the fairest in the land.

To have my pumpkin turn
into a shining coach,

and my rags into a glittering--

I sound like a
recorded announcement.

No, you sound divine.

Glittering ball gown.

--into a glittering ball gown.

And now that my
dream has come true,

I'm so grateful to share
the spirit of that event

with each of you.

Just remember not
to twirl your hair,

and I think you got it.

Oh.

Oh, want to see what the
rest of our year looks like?

Look here.

Here we go.

First stop, Houston, for
the women's club of America.

Tupelo Mississippi,
for Trixie Perm.

Chicago for Children's Hospital.

Wink Taxes for new
shopping center.

Your visit with the
president on 14th November.

And then down here,
Kansas City for the state

wetlands convention.

I counted them up.

There's over 250 towns.

Some of them twice.

When do I go back
to Wichita Falls?

Oh, Thanksgiving for two days.

That'll be your big homecoming.

What are those numbers?

Oh, oh that's your
salary, pudding.

What do you think?

Every time you appear,
somebody's paying

to bask in your radiant glow.

I got it.

Miss [inaudible].

Yes, she is.

Just a moment.

Oh.

It's that piano player.

Miss Butterfield, this
is that special someone

you haven't met yet.

Michael, you heard that?

I was just minding
my own business,

watching TV after a hard day's
listening to my students,

and what do I hear?

The woman I love
denying my existence.

Michael, you know
that wasn't me.

That was just queen talk.

Besides, if I told
them about you,

they'd want to know
all the juicy details.

Listen, do you have any
dates for Thanksgiving?

Because I'm going
to be in Wichita

Falls for about two days.

Well, my calendar is
pretty well booked, you know.

Let's see, there's Dixie
and Bambi and Poopsie.

Michael, I got to go.

Listen, I'll call
you back tonight.

OK?
I love you.

I love you.
Bye.

Oh.

Oh.

This is for you.

Sally, keep up the good work.

You're a queen among queens.

Avery MacPherson.

Avery?

Sally, keep up the good work.

You're a queen among queens.

Avery MacPherson.

Oh.

Oh, I do declare.

I may have to just faint
right here in San Francisco.

Oh, my word.

We better get back to work.

Where were we now?

Oh.

I drew-- I grew up with the same
dream all little American girls

have, to be the
fairest in the land,

to have my pumpkin turn
into a shining coach,

and my rags into a
glittering ball gown.

OK.

And now that my
dream's come true,

I'm so very grateful
to be able to share

the spirit of that great event
with each of you here tonight.

Thank you.

[applause]

I just love you.

Go on back out there.

Go on.

Do that thing they love.

Isn't she a darling.

Thank you.

Wow, Sal, you look
like a movie star.

It's just me.

Agatha's going to be visiting
her mom in Waco while I'm here.

Oh.

Has anyone seen Michael?

No, Sally, we haven't
seen him lately.

All right, Sally.

[interposing voices]

Looking good.

[interposing voices]

Congratulations.

That's super.

[applause]

Happy Thanksgiving.

Let's get you in a
hot bath this minute.

Oh, Agatha, I
tried your as if,

and I was thinking
about the Sahara desert.

And it did not work.

You poor little doll.

Look at you, all skin and bones.

When we get to Dallas,
I'm going to stuff you

with barbecue and Pinto beans.

Oh.

Agatha, I'm real tired.

I'm just going to sit
here a minute, all right?

It's like I said, last year's
queen just wore her formal

during the Christmas
parade, like we're

supposed to be grateful she
was letting you wear your fur.

Agatha, I didn't even get
you a Christmas present.

Oh, we both know
we had good excuses.

Oh, that mother of mine.

What do you think?

Do not open until
Christmas, love, mama.

What have we here?

Oh, my word.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, I declare.

Look at that pitiful
little thing.

Well, merry Christmas, Agatha.

Merry Christmas, honey.

[humming]

Merry Christmas, Sally.

Look, the car.

She gave me your car.

Wow.

From the queen of the heir
to the king of the road.

I'm afraid to even open mine.

I could tell how
expensive it is even just

from the outside of the box.

A camera.

She gave me a camera!

It's what I wanted.

I sure hope she
got our presents.

I mailed them early enough.

Poor little thing.

She's probably flying
in some airplane.

All alone up there in
that Christmas sky.

Don't worry, mom.

Now, I'll give a
nickel to anybody who

can guess what's in this thing.

I think, what do you think?

A refrigerator.

I think it's a kitchen.

Oh.

Oh.

It's-- it's one of those--

A large screen TV.

She really outdid herself.

It's a mink coat.

She gave me a mink coat.

She gave me a mink coat.

I look like Rudolph
the red-nosed reindeer.

Well, at least it'll
match your dress.

Well.

You look gorgeous.

Red is your color.

Listen, I got a big problem.

I told him I think
you could handle it.

The singer's snowed
in in Detroit.

There has to be somebody to
sing the star-spangled banner.

I told him I think
you could handle it.

With your musicianship and
all, you'll be beautiful.

No, I'm not a singer.

I don't know how to sing.

I can't sing.

I don't know.

I have a sore throat.

First, they're going
to love you for doing it.

Secondly, there's going
to be 60,000 people

singing right along with you.

It's not like it was a solo.

And last, I would never ask
you to do it if I didn't

think you could handle it.

Would I?

I guess not.

That's my girl.

She needs to be
ready in 15 minutes.

And remember, keep your mouth
close to the microphone.

And tonight, we'll paint the
town red to match your dress.

You know how I feel.

I feel like the tree
in the Garden of Eden.

That dangling snake's
slithering all over the place.

I can't even slap him off.

Well, you have to
admit he's charming.

No I don't.

Just because he's in the
pageant don't mean the rules

don't have to apply to him.

Listen, I don't think
I know the words to this.

Help me, OK?

Oh, say can you see--

I sound awful.

Oh, you sound divine.

Just use your as if.

Let's go through it again.

Oh, say, can you see by
the dawn's early light,

what so proudly we hailed--

You have no idea.

I'm [inaudible]
around the clock.

We don't have
an official name.

And they've got tennis
elbow, athlete's foot,

why not beauty queen's cheeks?

Well, it's not a
problem I'm likely to get

much sympathy with.

It's like saying, oh,
this mink weighs so much.

Oh, you remind me.

I have a little
surprise for you.

A surprise?

Don't worry, it's not mink.

You can relax your cheeks.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Let's try it on.

Tada.

Easier said than done.

I love it.

Thank you, Mr. MacPherson.

Tell you what.

I won't call you
your highness if you

don't call me Mr. MacPherson.

My name is Avery.

Thank you, Avery.

You look French tonight.

Trés elegant.

Ever been to France, to Paris?

Well, I have a bunch
of cousins outside

of Paris, Texas.

But that's as
close as I've come.

I like you Sally,
you're refreshing.

You're not like the others.

Believe me, I've
seen enough to know.

You're sophisticated
when you want to be,

but you're still genuine.

I think that's amazing.

You are, you know,
queen among queens.

I mean that.

I'd like to get to
know you better,

if it's all right with you.

Well, sure.

I think that'd be fine.

A toast first.

To new friendship.

To a new friendship.

Hurry up, darling,
we'll miss the plane.

One for you.

No thanks.

I see you enough as it
is right over there.

Pay no attention to him, hon.

Let it roll off your back.

Fella's a pure creep.

[music playing]

Oh, look how cute you look.

Agatha, that's him.

It's him.

Oh.

I almost didn't recognize you.

Am I dressed enough.

You look wonderful.

This must feel
like knowing you're

permanently on candid camera.

I know.

But you get used to it.
- You do?

I'm Agatha.

Agatha.

Listen, I have to appear
upstairs at the banquet just

for a few minutes, then we
can be on our way to dinner.

Our, meaning we three.

One, two, three.

Oh, be warned, Agatha.

I'm even more
dangerous than I look.

You don't watch out,
I'm going to start

yelling a list of
obscene things I'm going

to do to her after dinner.

Oh.

Oh.

Mild mannered musician.

You just wish they'd rev up a
little more spunk, don't you?

I'll be right at the next
table if you need me,

I'll order two soft
drinks for you.

Oh.
Yes.

I've never been
any good in hotels.

I guess they're
just home, now.

I can't judge up this class.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh.

What's happening, Sally?

Why are we frozen?

I don't know.

I don't know what to say.

I'm very glad to see you.

So it's not that.

Yeah.

Life keeps going on, doesn't it?

I mean, you tell yourself
you won't change,

but you keep changing.

You don't take your own advice?

Look at me.

I just need to get
a good look at you.

Michael, this is
Avery McPherson,

vice president in charge
of public relations

for the pageant.

Yeah, I remember you.

Sally tells me
you play the piano.

Is there around something
we can help you with?

The president of
Digicorp Computers Inc.

has decided that he wants you
to make your speech after all.

You have to be
upstairs in 10 minutes.

There'll be a photo session with
the board directors afterwards.

You're also going to have to
sign copies of the new catalog,

a couple hundred.

I have plans with Michael.

Sally, you're
here for a reason.

I'm sure we can appease
your young friend

with something from the bar.

He can order anything
he likes on the house.

10 minutes.

Charming fellow.

Michael, I'm sorry.

This was supposed to be--

Yeah.

Wow, you're really different
in this setting, Sally.

I mean, I'm seeing a
completely different woman.

What are you saying?

It's just me.

I don't know.

I mean, this is just coming out.

But it's like you've been wooed
in the love affair with fame.

And I'm-- what's happening?

I don't know.

I don't fit in.

Where do I fit in?

Michael, please.

It's just hard to pick up again.

We can be alone together later.

How could we think
we'd be different?

It's been crazy.

I mean, I adore you, Sally.

I do.

But that's just
little syllables.

That's nothing compared to what
you're getting from your life

now.

And I mean, how am I supposed
to compete with all of this?

What can I say?

Can I say come back and
practice your piano?

Come back and eat
pecan pie with me

and watch the sunset
over Onion Creek?

That's ridiculous.

I mean, look at
Prince Charming here.

How in hell can I
compete with that?

How can I compete
with your throng, Sal?

You need something
that I can't give you.

That's not true.

I need you.

You need this more.

I couldn't care less
about all of this.

That's what you say.

You say that, but you do care,
or you wouldn't be doing this.

You care about it more than
you care about being a pianist.

You care about it
more than you--

more than you care
about being with me.

So, it's that simple.

[music playing]

I can't tell you
how very pleased

I am to be able to greet
you all this morning.

I was very flattered
when I found out

that you were going to model
your new All-American beauty

doll after me.

I hope this encourages
little girls

everywhere to develop the
best and the most beautiful

within them.

Thank you.

[applause]

I told you who knows Sally
for more than 10 minutes

can help falling
in love with her.

Now, with such a living
doll right here with us,

we hardly need a substitute.

But for those of
you who haven't seen

our All-American beauty doll,
I'd like to present it to you.

But first, Sally, as this
company's newly appointed

executive vice president
in charge of marketing,

I would like to present you
as a token of our esteem

with the very first doll
off the assembly line.

Could we have the
lights off, please?

Projector, please.

It's pageant night, thunderous
applause rings in Sally's ears

as she floats down the runway
in her sparkling silver

gown and shimmering tiara.

Little girls everywhere can
feel shivers down their spine

as they make that
walk right beside her.

Now, our miss
All-American beauty doll

will need quite a
wardrobe for all

those appearances
she'll be making

during her exciting year.

Now, here she is on the
beach, making quite a splash

in her stunning jade swimsuit.

Now, whoa there.

Here's Sally our urban cowgirl.

You're a high stepping beauty in
your red leather cowboy boots.

What cowboy wouldn't like
to put you in his corral?

What's Sally's favorite music?

Disco.

No more autographs tonight.

Clear the dance floor while
Sally lets her hair down,

and stops the show in
her fuchsia mini dress

and sizzling purple tights.

Now, every queen
deserves to be pampered.

Sally is no exception.

She loves to lounge for
hours in her elegant chiffon

negligee and dressing gown,
dreaming luxurious dreams.

Every little girl's ideal
of the exceptional woman she

will become someday.

And Sally is here,
as living proof

that that dream can come true.

Thank you.

Lights on, please.

Do you believe
that doll, Agatha?

Don't let it
ruffle you, honey.

They think I'm only a doll,
and it feels just awful.

Sally.

Sally.

Sally'll see you in a minute.

Something I need to
discuss with her.

She'll meet you downstairs.

Just be a minute.

Listen, I hate to catch
you on the run like this,

but you got another appearance,
I got a plane to catch.

The board just came down
on me very hard about our

seeing so much of each other.

They told me that either
I leave you alone,

or I lose the account.

I see.

Doesn't leave me
much of a choice.

It's been great.

You're a remarkable woman,
I always told you that.

Yeah, queen of queens.

Listen, maybe I'll
see you at the pageant.

Yeah.

Bye, Sal.

Miss Butterfield, I'm sure
you won't mind answering

a few questions for us.

Beauty is the measuring
stick most American women

feel they must live up to.

Our viewers want to know.

Are you proud of propagating
the myth of the perfect female,

or do you realize
you're simply a pawn

in a male dominated game?

After all, Miss Butterfield,
you must realize you're nothing

more than a piece of meat.

Leave me be, madam.

Forget that nincompoop.

She was just a bull
seeing red, and you

happened to be in the arena.

And I got to iron
my own dress now.

See you in 10 minutes.

We got to leave for
the VA hospital in 15.

Wait a minute.

You know how hard these
hospital visits are for me.

Especially the men.

They've been
through so much more

than I could ever even imagine.
My speech will sound ridiculous.

They're expecting you.

Now, I'll see you in 10 minutes.

It's like you've been wooed
into a love affair with fame.

You really are, you know.

Queen among queens.

After all, Miss
Butterfield, you

must realize you're nothing
more than a piece of meat.

If you want to
get when you want,

you have to give
them what they want.

You care about it more than
you care about being a pianist.

You're here for a reason.

Her public is waiting.

Acting as if.

It seems like
this life suits you.

You now symbolize the
ideal American woman.

I just hope she's
going to be happy.

[screams]

Oh, sweet precious baby.

What have we done to you?

Agatha, who am I?

Who am I anymore?

Nothing makes any sense.

I don't have Michael.

And I've lost my
music, everything.

Oh, honey.

Sorry things
worked out like this.

I really mean it.

Let me help you with that.

Hey.

How have you been?

I hear you get a vacation.

Yeah, but I'm going
to be just fine.

How are you doing?

You're growing.

I'm doing great.

Of course, I dig being famous.

Listen, I want you
to do me a favor, OK?

Field any phone calls from
the pageant office today, OK?

Would you do that for me?
- Sure.

I didn't know they'd
worked you so hard.

Excuse me, I'm looking
for Michael Carrington.

He seems to have moved out
of his upstairs office.

Mr. Carrington is on
a three month leave,

he's touring the East
Coast with his quartet.

We forward his mail if
you'd like to send a note.

I would, yes.

You're going to be all right?

I feel so fragile.

And I don't want to.

Honey, we're here
for whatever you need.

I know I'm strong.

I feel that too.

It's just like I've splintered
into all these little pieces

and I don't have the strength
to pick them all up again.

Oh, Sally.

What they have done
to you, I'm so sorry.

It's not just that.

I kept telling myself that it
was just an accident that I got

into this whole thing,
but all I really wanted

was the scholarship.

But all along I think I knew it
was something more than that.

I wanted to feel loved.

I wanted to feel so special
that I wouldn't have

to wonder who I was anymore.

I could be a real somebody, and
then that would be who I was.

But I gave myself away.

I gave a little piece of
myself away to everyone

I'd meet so they'd adore me.

But it wasn't me they adored.

They didn't know me.

They didn't want to know me.

They wanted something else,
something I can't give them.

Hon, you're their symbol.

If they can watch you
getting all that attention,

then they can feel like
that's them up there.

But it's never enough.

I mean, they always want more.

And that's the trouble.

It's never enough.

If you keep looking for
approval from the outside,

if you're not listening
to the inside,

you have to know how lovable
and wonderful you are right now.

Exactly the way you are.

And that title
doesn't mean a thing.

Sally, I'm just so proud
that you're just plain Sally.

That's what I'm proud of.

I have to find
my way back, mama.

And you will, darling.

I don't doubt that for a minute.

Don't listen to me.

Sounds like bad advice.

But I think you ought to put
your crown on in a few days

and go back up there as
the real Sally Butterfield.

Go do it like you want to do it.

If that's not all right
with somebody, that's OK.

It'll be all right with you.

Oh, my honey.

If you just want to stay home
and let that pageant world

go spinning by, that's OK too.

You know what?

I think I was a
very lucky person

before any of this happened.

I just didn't realize it.

You come on in here, you boys.

Come on in and give
your sister a hug

because she's falling apart.

Come on.

[screams]

I can't breathe.

Oh!

Hello, Agatha.

Get ready to fasten
your seat belt again.

Now, Sally.

Let's be reasonable.

No queen of our
pageant has ever quit.

It would be a disgrace not
only to you, but to everything

that our contest stands for.

I'm sure that you don't want
to bring that kind of shame

on yourself, do you?

Well, no.
I'm very grateful for this.

You should be.

And I would never
have learned so much

in such a short amount of time.

Well then, what seems
to be the problem?

I want to do things
differently from now on.

Starting with I'd like to
slow down the schedule.

But Sally, you'll
be losing money.

And money that could go
towards your education.

I have plenty of money
for my education now,

and I won't mind the loss.

Then think of the pageant.

The organizations you
cancel on certainly

won't renew us for next year.

And as a relatively new
pageant, every year is critical.

As I was saying,
Mrs. Hunnicutt, I

want to slow down the schedule.

And I want to play the
piano for the groups

whenever there's one available.

That's the way I really have
something to say to the people.

It's much nicer than giving
one of your speeches.

Now, Sally.

Really, if you can't
cooperate in a civil--

First of all,
Mrs. Hunnicutt, I'd

like to say that I hope
for the sake of whoever

takes over my title
this year, that you

will let her be herself.

If she's special enough for
the judges to choose her,

she won't need one
of your makeovers.

She may make a few mistakes,
but let her do it her way.

That'll be a truer
representation

of an All-American girl.

We're all different.

And that's the good part.

We're all special
in different ways.

I'll see you at the pageant.

[music playing]

[applause]

Come feel it as I play.

I'll tell you a secret.

You have to sing
along with the piano.

You have to feel like
it's part of your body.

And that way the two of you
can have the same voice.

I didn't know you
were so beautiful.

What do you mean?

The sounds you can make.

It's because you're
so beautiful in here,

and you give it to us through
music so we can see it too,

and that's nice.

I'll bet I know
what you're thinking.

No, you don't.

It's almost over?

No.

You're right.

Then I don't know
what you're thinking.

It's my birthday.

It is?

We have to celebrate
tonight after the pageant.

No.

We don't have
to go to the ball.

I don't want to
be reminded of it.

Don't ask my age either.

I've been lying
about it for years.

There, I said it out loud.

Well, now that our year's
over, what are you going to do?

Well, I guess as long as the
pageant bug keeps biting them,

there'll be girls
out there needing me.

Of course, Texas could
stand on its panhandle

by the time another Sally
Butterfield comes my way.

Agatha.

I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss
you too, honey.

You know, you're
the first person

I've ever known who's made
me feel like I could run

around without my
eyes and my blusher

and still think I was cute.

I'll tell you something else.

I've never liked
pretty little faces.

And it's given me great
pleasure to imagine

that they don't have two
ounces of brains underneath.

But you blasted that
theory all to bits.

I'm not finished.

You better come visit mama
and me sometimes in Waco.

And you better let me
know how things turned

out with that pianist of yours.

I don't think he even
wants to talk with me.

I wrote him a letter trying
to tell him how I feel,

and he didn't even
write back yet.

Well, it's that time,
the final runway walk.

You put it on, Agatha.

Don't be silly.

No.
Come on.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

No one's watching.

Oh, Sal, this is ridiculous.

Oh, Sal.

Oh, this is silly.

It isn't.

I feel ridiculous.

Well, you're not.

Oh, nuts.

No more as if's, Ag.

You are the real All-American
Beauty, aren't you?

Look at yourself.

Oh.

Michael.

[music playing]