Miss (2020) - full transcript

My dream job
is repairing broken toys.

Older, I'll play pro soccer.

A star or a baker.

Most likely, star.

A boxer.

I'll be elected President.

My dream is to be crowned Miss France.

Are you nuts?

Everybody up!

1st of the month. Rent day!

There you go.



You go to school now.

Come on.

I already told you,
the place is packed. No room.

It's not a chateau here, you know.

I can't invent space.

Hey, chicks! It stinks in here.

They're growing?

- You take coins?
- Pay up.

Pay up.

I gotta iron your bills?

- I'm not your ma.
- Don't blame me.

Ahmed's a mess.

Bullshit.
Everyone knows I'm a clean freak.

A freak, sure!



This works? Mine.

- Not that one.
- No way! Hold on!

I'm sick.

Lola!

- Hey, darling.
- Hi, honeybun. All good?

Is it all there?

What's this?

Canadian dollars.
Very strong right now.

Like I care!

Don't blame me,
my clientele's very international.

That's globalization, Yolande.

Gotta adapt. I adapt.

And I gotta...

Crazy times.

You can work here.

You'll like it here.

Much better than downstairs,
like sardines.

What is this?

The 1st is rent day.

Yolande!

What is this?

You're always short,
so I found a solution.

Share your rent.

You're kidding, right?

No more loose hems!

Welcome, I guess.

Let's go, sit down.

Go on, sit down.

Julien!

Calm down and sit over there.

Kamel, Karim, go sit down.

Let go.

Sit down, please.

Or you'll box me?

You don't scare me.

A princess who boxes.

Just missing a tutu!

Loser!

Calm down, all of you!

Calm down.

Respect.

He's going to train with us...

And he's going to represent France

at the next Olympic Games...

Elias Naim!

Welcome, champ.

Good to be here, boss.

Alright, kids?

In shape?

Today we'll just talk.

Questions and answers.

I'll tell you how I got where I am.

And how I started out

as the unlikeliest champion ever.

At our age, were you any good?

At your age, I didn't dare tell anyone
my dream was to be a boxer.

I looked for you on social media.

I'm not on it.

Good call.

It's poisonous bullshit.

My sponsors insist.

So you kept boxing? You train here?

Yeah.

We can spar together one day,
if you want.

C'mon, talk.

Work? Crib?

Just around the corner.

Great.

You're single? Got someone?

No.

I mean, not right now.

You?

The wildest thing ever.

You gotta meet her.

She's an amazing chick.

That's cool.

Last time we met, we were little squirts.

I never dared visit your parents' grave.

Me neither.

I was sent to a foster family.

Several of them, actually.

Too many.

Alex, where are you?

Holy moses, where's he gone?

I'll show him.

What the heck?

The kids blocked the crapper again.

Come help me.

Move it.

I'm proud of you.

One out of two making it, not bad.

Beautiful lady.

How you doing, baby?

A face as long as a Greek tragedy!

Make some herb tea, roll a doobie.

I'll be back after a prayer
to baby Jesus for more business.

I'm scraping the barrel.

My dream job is repairing broken toys.

Older, I'll play pro soccer.

A star or a baker...

I'll be elected President.

Video game engineer.

My dream is to be crowned Miss France.

You're not a girl, kiddo!

Are you out of your mind?

That's insane.

It's impossible!

You can't be Miss France, you're a boy!

You don't eat meat?

She's veggie.

I'll take her share.

I'll go for Miss France.

I'll go for Miss France.

- I'll go for Miss France.
- For what?

For Miss France.

I did hear you then.

What?

He's going for Miss France.

- He's a boy.
- He certainly is.

What the hell?

Nobody thinks I'm serious?

Baby, let me explain.

Brangelina's daughter dresses as a boy,

destined to be a fashion icon.

We dress as girls,
destined to be streetwalkers.

If you're less rich and famous,
you pay more to be different.

We need dreams.

Exactly, you need dreams.

Look at you guys,
wanting the impossible.

Don't complain if it goes wrong.

Alex, Padme is a surgeon.

Her degrees are worthless in France.

So she sews up jeans.

For real.

- Excellent.
- Laugh, but it is.

Same goes for you.

Dreams of being a grand duchess,
she's a grand hooker.

That is so subtle.

You guys, too. Ahmed and Randy...

Bill Gates!

Bill and Gates.

My plan's squared off.

Squared off.

The issue is when.

You two squared off?

Slob squared.

I need help. I need you guys.

Help me make the pageant.

Lola?

- Yolande?
- No, count me out.

I'm in.

We can make a buck with a Miss.

Smart idea.

There's potential.

But it will take lots and lots of work.

- I'll learn.
- Not so fast.

You realize the Miss France pageant

celebrates the oppression of women.

- I mean, it's prehistoric.
- Sure.

- Sure, what?
- We've been here before.

Ahmed dreams of being Catholic,
we help.

Irrelevant! I did it for Madeleine.

Who dumped you right after?

No, she was incarcerated.

At the Crossbar Hotel.

That's for real.

I suggest we vote.

Personally, I'm in favor.

I vote yes.

I'm in favor too.

Come on, there we go!

Yes, Panini!

By unanimous vote,

minus one, we will try...

We will try, Yolande.

Let's raise a toast. Splendid!

Come on, this way.

Majesty...

South America?

Eastern Europe?

France.

Age?

24.

Hormones? Surgery?

No, all organic.

What's her niche?

Dominatrix? BDSM?

Exotic? Cutesy?

Angelic.

Majesty, Alex isn't looking for work.

I brought her
for you to make a woman of her.

Let's see.

Lucky you.
Androgynous and smooth-skinned.

Rugby-player shoulders, though.

You'll need a narrow waist.

I'll prescribe you a corset
you must never take off.

Not even in bed.

Got it?

- Shoe size?
- 9.

Put down 8.

From now on, no more flats.

If you're tired, 8 cm.

All other times, 12 cm.

Fake eyelashes mandatory.

Contour makeup for cleavage.

For swimsuits, learn the art of tucking.

She'll explain.

You want to be a woman?

It won't be easy.

You need to be both sexy and pure.

Funny, mainstream,

rebellious, submissive.

You'll laugh softly.

You'll weep in silence.

You'll convince everyone
you dress beyond your means.

Mess it up, they'll call you a slut.

And if I succeed?

They'll call you a slut.

Don't forget...

You're not a real woman.

And you never will be.

Never.

But hey...

Be authentic in your femininity.

Ok, enough.

Pay in cash, in euros.

This week latest.

Majesty, this month perhaps?

No, there's no credit here.

I'm no social worker.

Or philanthropist.

Majesty, Alex has had a tough life.

He lost his parents in a car crash.

Can't you give him discount?

Life never spared him.

You know a single girl working here
who was "spared"?

Go on, scram.

Bitch cut you no slack.

Sorry, baby, I didn't expect it
to cost a month's rent.

Lola?

What if it doesn't work?

Baby, you need it?

So you do it.

What if I get called out?

If anyone gets suspicious,
divert attention.

Proverb from Drag Street.

How much?

Hi, want a good time?

I don't like trannies but you...

You're fresh. You turn me on.

You can't afford her.

I can buy you all.

Becoming a TV starlet, how about it?

Look, kitten...

You're the stereotypical excrement

of deregulated, heteronormative society.

You buy us when we decide, ok?

Her decision is no.

Get your banger in gear,
mid-life crisis scumsucker,

and beat it.

Obsolete old tranny!

See, darling?

The riddle you are
makes men become

aggressive, in general.

They're all like that?

Thank god, no.

Do I look old?

Bitch.

No.

You little skank!

You don't look your age, for sure.

I want to be Miss France
because as a career opportunity,

it's extraordinary.

I love traveling, I love flying.

I collect soaps from hotels,

so I'll expand my collection.

It's also a way

to meet people,
even ordinary people.

It's important to be cultured.
Cultivated.

- The committee president is here.
- What?

- I can't, I'm casting.
- He insists on seeing you.

Women have lots to say,

coming from their culture.

- The most beautiful Miss.
- Silly.

- What brings you here?
- You.

Only?

I love your energy. Non-stop.

No, Paul, cut out
the positive management crap.

What's going on?

We lost the public, we went too far.

You listen to panels?

The domestic violence spot
was dumb and scary.

Hold on.

It was dumb or scary?

- There's more.
- Really?

We're inexistent on social media.

For me, social media is the style.

I work on the substance.

I'll hire someone for digital.

I look forward to it. With joy!

So cancel the eco-trip
for something more classical?

Let's go backward, great idea.

What did you pitch to save your skin?

A parade in traditional costume?

With seashells as pompoms?

When did you lose your cojones?

You don't get it.

It's not my skin I'm trying to save.

Contestant 103.

On the cross, please.

Why do you want to be Miss France?

To be someone.

Welcome,
Ile-de-France regional contestants!

Before rehearsals,

we need you to provide certain documents.

Every Miss, without exception,

must have a valid passport...

Guy's a pro.

Place of birth. Coldbutts?

Seriously?

Swear to god, it exists.

On your budget,
it was the only passport available.

You will provide links to your profiles

on social media.
Moving with the times, we urge you

to create an account on Instagram.

Instagram changes your life.

The pageant is in 5 days.

You will be chosen by the public
for your elegance,

bearing and femininity.

If I am chosen,

I'd like to raise awareness
on educating orphans.

Hold on.

Add Mbappé.

Mbappé?

And baby seals. Check their numbers.

You gotta get baby seals in there.

My speech won't make sense.

Like you care!

Drop the highest-ranking words
and votes flood in.

Same tactic as Macron.

She slaughtered you.

Let me see. What's wrong?

Seriously? What is this?

Are you kidding?

You tasered her.

I have two hours. What the hell!

The pageant's in two hours?

Like Auntie Aicha's sheep.

They won't let you in.

Don't, you're making it worse.

Enough, you hooligans!

I can't work with inferior equipment.

We needed a real curling iron.

It costs a fortune.

I'm going to cry.

Padmini!

Don't play on words.

Can you help us here?

Those Bollywood blowouts,
there must be some kind of trick.

- A blowout?
- Yes, Indian-style.

We don't like late.

Your attention, please!

In a moment, you'll be on stage.

I won't bore you with detail.

Just one thing...

Tonight, show us who you are.
And be proud!

Whatever happens,
stage fright, falls, memory blanks...

Smile and it's all good.

Amanda?

Yes, let's hear it for Arnaud Tasiaux...

Yes, give it up.

He will be our host again tonight.

Thank you, Arnaud.

Could I say no to you, Amanda?

This year's girls
are particularly pretty.

Same as every year.

On stage in 10.
Into your dresses, let's go!

- Coffee, Arnaud?
- No.

Coming up next,
the moment you've all been waiting for,

that we've all been waiting for...

The contestants will parade

in swimsuits.

What the hell am I doing here?

Three minutes to the swimsuit parade!

Sublime!

Show them, dolls!

We are magnificent!

One missing.

- There's one missing.
- Find her!

Number 8!

Where is she?

Good evening.

What are you doing here?

Number 4, Daphne!

Great, Daphne.

I love you!

Number 5, Laetitia!

I'm bored shitless.

Alexandra!

Number 6...

Nina!

Love it.

I'm just borrowing it.

Number 7, Tatum!

Number 8, Alexandra!

Don't ask me.

Alexandra?

Apparently, overcome by emotion!

The night's first dropout.

Number 9...

Here I am!

Number 8...

Alexandra took a few liberties
with the designated swimsuit.

A unicorn. Look, a unicorn!

And it works.

Unique!

It really works.

We love you!

If I am chosen...

What's she trying to say?
She can't get it out.

Stop!

I can do it.

I can't do it.

If I am crowned
Miss Ile-de-France tonight...

Estelle. Contestant number 3!

I love children, animals, the disabled.

No, not the dis...

Thank you, Daphne,

contestant number 4!

Let's bring out now number 8!

Good evening.

My name's Alexandra Dufresnoy.

From Paris.

Great, Alexandra.

What cause
are you advocating for tonight?

Men like you.

A worthwhile cause.

How can you help men like me?

To understand things.

Please, educate me, Alexandra.

Let's imagine a man like you...

Fine tuxedo, great glasses,
dapper elegance.

Every mother's dream.

So when a man like you
insulted a friend of mine...

Naughty boy.

He called her an obsolete old tranny!

I stayed silent, scared.

Tonight, I have a reply for him.

For my friend and every woman.

I'd like to tell the guy,

women won't be fooled.

By eyes
that see a price on everything.

By a smile...

The smile of a man
who thinks he's a prince.

But is only a pig.

My friend was humiliated.

Yet she felt guilty.

But he...

He's oblivious to the injustice.

He's spent his whole life
in a man's body.

Just explaining that to men like you

might make them better.

There.

That's my cause if I'm chosen.

Thank you.

This is it.

The moment you've been waiting for.

What suspense!

Miss Ile-de-France 2019

is...

Alexandra Dufresnoy!

Shit, he did it!

Now for Miss France!

Hot, isn't it?

My hormones are popping like corn.
What about you?

I'm hungry.

Cheers.

Evening.

- Alexandra's mother?
- That's me.

Nice to meet you.
You must be so proud.

Utterly.

- May I?
- Of course.

For our website, a few questions?

If you must.

Go ahead.

How does your daughter winning feel?

How do I feel about my daughter
choosing a career as

professional strumpet?

What more could I wish for my child?

Her mother's support, perhaps.

What's the problem?

Your daughter being in the spotlight?
Expressing herself?

Or her advocating for women?

Sorry, I didn't get it...

The Miss France pageant
is a forum for political ideas?

A modern-day agora.

Schools of philosophy
parading in bikinis, right?

So we're dealing with an analyst
who is unaware

that the bikini in the 50s
was the symbol of female emancipation.

Before it was turned
into a symbol of sexism.

What a journey!

Similar to yours.

Mock my journey if you wish
but I am proud to give women

precious arms
to deal with today's world.

Very funny.

She strips women for the cameras

and talks like CEO of a nonprofit.

She calls her kid a slut
and thinks she's a feminist. Curious!

We all have our foibles.

Indeed we do.

Nonprofit food?

A taste of contradiction!

With utmost pleasure.

Please do.

May I chew before spitting it at you?

I dare you.

Internet's exploding.

All over Alex's speech.

My sons.

They run a flourishing business.

In what? Trashtalk, like mom?

Fruit and veggies.

Vegetables, mostly.

It's Alex.

Superb! Awesome!

I'm Miss Great-East,

a student
at Engineering School in Lorraine.

Looks like a quiche, too.

Miss St. Pierre & Miquelon.

We saw you earlier.

My turn. Beat it.

That's right.

I'm Miss Corsica.

Regional karate champ.
I train 4 hours a day.

I love to win
and I hate to be seen

as a weak woman.

A bit pushy, perhaps?

No, just fine.

Next!

Look this way. Great!

Got it, thanks.

I'm Miss France. I...

Sorry.

Pretentious Parisian.

Ile-de-France, I'm sorry...

Care to explain?

There wasn't my size.

So go up one.

We stock up to size 7.

I'm a size 8.

Like my brother.

Please!

7.5, really.

A solid base, at least.

Charlotte,
ask Jean-Paul for larger sizes.

Alright, let's go.

All yours.

Alexandra, Miss Ile-de-France.

I'm 24 years old.

I like long walks, couscous.

Sorry, articulate better.

I don't understand a word.

My name's Alexandra.

1m80 tall.

I'm Miss Ile-de-France.

Don't apologize for winning.
Show you want to win again.

Start over.

I'm...

Not switched on.

C'mon, wake up.

Where's your light? Turn it on.

What do you like?

- I like long walks.
- We know.

Couscous too. What else?

Why are you here?

What gets you out of bed?

- Amanda...
- Just a second.

Why do you want to win?
Let me hear it.

- To be...
- Miss France, we know.

What for?

What are your dreams?

Your ambitions?

We need to move on.

I don't know.

Sorry.

Next!

Hello, I'm Miss PACA.
IQ of 170,

I speak four languages,
play violin, ride,

and run a blog
devoted to humanitarian aid work.

Look at me.

Thanks.

Evening.

I'm expecting someone.

Alex?

Alexandra.

How come?

You're looking at Miss Ile-de-France,

contestant for Miss France 2020.

Miss Ile-de-France?

You?

Yes, look.

- That's you!
- Yes.

Shit!

- How?
- I just did it.

Insane.

Evening, miss, what can I get you?

Champagne?

Excellent choice.

You want to change...

Want to be a woman?

No. Just connect with my femininity.

There's no need to whisper.

Yes, sorry.

I feel stronger as a woman.

You understand?

Do you often do this?

Not since my parents' accident.

Don't be mad, you have my support.

It's just, I'm kinda basic.

I'm here because I need your help.

Sure, my help in what?

Becoming Miss France.

I'm very serious.

Alex, I can turn you into a boxer,
not a Miss.

Same difference.

I need hard work,
a champion's mindset.

I just made a fool of myself.

The other girls are way ahead.

It's a beauty pageant.

Not just a beauty pageant, Elias.

Seeing you again
took me back to when I was a kid.

When I was alive.

I need to win this pageant.

A rose for the pretty lady?

Good price for your wife.
She's beautiful.

Please...

Here we are. Enjoy.

Floyd Mayweather? Heard of him?

A boxer. 50 fights, 50 wins.
No losses.

Before every fight, he pictured himself,

saying, "I always find a way to win."

Sleep on that.
See you tomorrow at the gym.

Alright.

Thanks.

Miss Ile-de-France!

The physical comes after the mental.

The fight is won
before getting in the ring.

Bob and weave.

Bob.

Imagine the cars are cameras
and johns photographers.

That's just great.

You look, you fascinate them.

Girls, that is what I want.

Until a car stops,

keep going.

Don't get excited.

You see?

Shut your eyes and visualize.

You are this year's Miss France!

How's it feel,
the crown on your head?

How does it feel inside?

Good. One more cm with your legs.

You want that crown or not?

Wider. That's good, that's right.

That's good, see?

That's our trick for boosting the THC.

Banging.

Photographer.

Pose.

You're going to win. Nobody else.

When you get in the ring, you own it.

The others applaud you.
They look at you, envy you.

How's it feel?

You made your dream come true.
You did it.

How's it feel where you belong?

How's it feel to be you?

In France, forearms always on the table.

Not the elbows.

In the UK, hands under the table.

Punctuality. Second time.

Yes, second time.

Sure but you keep telling us
a woman plays hard to get.

Being six minutes late
makes you hard to get?

Setting the bar high.

Show us how you drink wine.

The wine glass.

Left hand.

Lower.

No, higher.

Not like that.

Forget it. Brittany, show her.

A matter of millimeters.

You don't get what I want.

Excellence.

In life, in art, in sport,

excellence is always in the same place.

In attention to detail.

You know the distance
between excellent and ordinary?

A matter of millimeters.

Moving on.

If the wine is a little too chilled...

Couscous, seriously?

Not eating?

- Not couscous.
- You love it.

I don't charge for couscous.

I'm shocked.

54,000 followers on Instagram?

Blowing up. Insane.

The other girls will be pissed.

Madness.

- Darlings, I have an announcement...
- Hold on.

You'll finally tell us your age?

That's between me and the FBI.

I know.

You're getting a third boob job.

Better than that.

I quit the office.

- Awesome.
- Seriously?

What will you do?

What I always dreamed of doing.

Beautician.

Next dream,
healthcare, Volvo and poodle?

Sure, why not?

Ignore her. Do it.

Danièle's opening a salon locally
and she'll hire me.

Dope.

You want waxing?

Do your bikini line.

Unisex, for him and her.
Stop by anytime.

Seriously,

bring the other girls,
and profits skyrocket.

He's right.

Good point.

When do we meet them,
party with the Misses?

The idea isn't to party.
Focus on the competition.

Competition good, copulation better.

Look at them.

Chip 'n' Dale
dream of hooking up with princesses.

You think we can't?

We have no time
to get to know each other.

We work so hard and...

Amanda's on our backs.

She's incredible.

Is Amanda paying your rent this month?

So I can charge interest
to Her Incredibleness.

Can't you help Alex out this month?

The pageant, cleaning, he's struggling.

Can't you give him this month on credit?

What was that last word?

Credit.

Own your choices, good or bad.

Such as?

Such as...

Serving up your self-esteem to people
who won't understand you, maybe.

I hoped you'd be proud.

I am proud of you.

But as you are,
not that woman's show poodle.

Fuck it.

Here.

What did poodles do to her today?

And don't forget to be in bed by 11.

To be in shape for the trip tomorrow.

Stop eating.

We just got the pictures through.

All with parted lips?

It's fish gape. Replaced duck face.

That's an improvement?

Fish gape makes the face look slimmer.

Really?

- Do it again.
- Like this.

Now do the photos again.

Mouth shut.

Why not eat with the others?

They don't get enough likes?

No, it's them. I try to...

How will you charm 60 million voters
if you can't get 15 to like you?

Don't try to blend in.

Don't be a victim of social codes.

Learn to play with them.

If you want to be a finalist,
it's up to you.

I brought my sleep mask and earplugs.

And a blanket.
Airline blankets are never warm enough.

Morning, ladies!

Everybody feeling good?

Ready to hit the road?

Give a warm welcome
to three Miss France judges,

who'll help select the six finalists.

A big round of applause.

From me, too.

Let me remind you,

throughout the stay
you'll be judged on...

Elegance, assiduity,

and, very importantly, team spirit.

Sorry, I forgot to mention,
this year, we'll have special input

from Bertrand,
our new head of digital marketing,

who will enlighten us on our...

brand what was it?

Our brand image.

Thank you.

Remember,

this year, our trip promises
to go down in the pageant's history.

So where are we going?

- I get sick on buses...
- St. Pierre.

Please.

If I may,

as announced previously,

this year is special.

For the first time, we're going to save

the wild beaches that are immense

and unique,

on the North shores.

The North shores?

Sorry, by North,

you mean northern hemisphere?

I mean the North shores.

Facing the North Sea.

We're going to Belgium.

Is she for real?

- PACA?
- Yes?

- A comment?
- Not at all.

But Ile-de-France was just saying...

Right?

You'd prefer somewhere less cheap,
but I love it, it's great.

In that case, you and Ile-de-France
can be roommates.

Lucky you!

Let's go!

All aboard the bus!

Girls, don't keep us waiting!

Smiles and scarves on,
and get down here.

Hurry up now!

Shitty, fucking year. Just my luck!

From palm trees to gulag.

I'm freezing.

I'm starving.

Set an example.

Don't forget why we're here.

For a great cause.

Yes, Amanda!

For sure.

Beautiful coat you have.

Watch out for the seagulls.

Come on, let's get some shots.

Here, with the jeep in the background.

There we go, let's see.

Ile-de-France, smile.

Smile!
Strike a pose that's kind of...

Kind of what?

Smile, at least.

Let's go.

You too?
Your boobs firm up by the sea?

Every time!

Same here.

What's that?

Great, good start.

What the hell's she doing?

Can you stop all that noise?

- Wake-up's in six hours!
- Just a minute!

I'll get her.

A junkie!

Great, girls, eyes on me.

Smile. We're here for a good cause.

Saving the planet.

Great.

A catastrophe.

Catastrophe in what sense?

A catastrophe. We'll lose everyone.

Buyers, millennials, seniors. All gone.

- She's a pain in the ass!
- Gotta go.

I'm not at all a snitch.

But you should know...

Ile-de-France is on drugs.

Great!

Look at me.

Follow me with your eyes.

Either crack or heroin. Poor girl.

Thanks, PACA.

You're welcome.

Alright down there?

We're making lots of energy

for thousands of homes.
Isn't it wonderful?

The future!

It stinks.

Put your masks on
and get your hands dirty.

Gonna puke.

Amanda, this is Paul.

We left you several messages
but no answer.

We need to retrieve your phone
and files as soon as possible.

The committee
wants to see you immediately.

I tried warning you but this...

It's out of my hands, I said...

Pick up.

It's Alex.

How are you?

- You're fitting in?
- Making friends?

They're hot in their swimsuits?

Don't forget to keep one back for me.

Ignore him.

Don't listen, he has a one-track mind.

I miss you.

We miss you too!

Miss you like mad.

Chin up, darling!

Look, I gotta go.

Miss you, love ya!

- Love ya!
- Take care!

I love you guys, bye.

Seemed weird, right?

Yeah, like it's not going great.

Not at all.

Evening.

Amanda, I can't do it.

The girls don't like me.

I can't fit in.

I think I made a mistake.

They'd love it if we give up.

Go to bed now.

- See you tomorrow.
- Thanks.

Everybody up!

Inspection!

Open your bags for me to search.

I'm waiting!

I lied, she's not on drugs.

What?

PACA, she can't hurt you.

Open that case.

There's no key.

Forget it, really.

As I said, I just...

I thought she stole my mascara.
I imagined stuff.

When I don't sleep 8 hours, I...

It's all good.

Sure, PACA.

Open the case.

Right now!

You have no right.

- I'm looking for drugs.
- Drugs?

You told me...

What is this?

I said nothing.

You're on it too. I'll call the cops.

Sure, do it.

We'll be delighted to explain how a man

burst into the room
of two defenseless women at 5 am,

abusing his power

to violate their privacy without consent.

You're cracked.

What's going on here?

Why are you here?

This room's a shooting-up space.

What?

- Ile-de-France is a druggie.
- No!

I lied.

It's my fault.

I slandered Alexandra. She's blameless.

Don't, PACA.

It's over.

Amanda, I lied.

From the start.

I'm the liar.

No, I'm...

I said, I'm the liar.

This is loony tunes.

Blame me.

It's on me.

- Madness.
- No, team spirit.

I'm glad to see it at last.

Let's forget your nocturnal serenade

and let these girls get some rest.

Bertrand, thank you.

Sleep. Alarm call in one hour.

You were ready to give up?

Nobody suspects.

You know?

Hang in there.

Make that final.

Against me, obviously.

The last one was good.

#couscousglam #dontworrybehappy.
My community will love it.

Only vegetables, please.

Insane! 1,000 views in 10 seconds.

Let's see.

Dammit.

You'll blow 'em away.

Miss Corsica's adorable.

Looks mean, but so sweet.

With that mug?

She had more followers than me.

When Caroline de Maigret reposted me,
I jumped ahead.

Maigret reposted you?

Shit!

Is she smoking?

Sorry, darlings, sorry.

A Colombian broke the truce

over some issue with a wig.

Worse than Escobar.
Carnage at the office.

Darling, I missed you!

I don't get it, the office?

You've lost weight.

What about your beauty salon dreams?

Waxing desperate housewives all day
is no dream.

And Danièle was always on my case.

Lola, be polite.

Lola, your skirt.

Lola, your chewing gum.

When power is concentrated
in one person's hands,

it's a dictatorship.

I resisted.
I slapped my bag in her face.

And I walked out.

Now I'm my own boss.

Better all round. Right, boys?

I told you.

- She was like...
- Grouchy.

- You want my bag in your face?
- What did I say?

Tomorrow, they're filming me.

For the primetime slot.

Banging.

They want to talk to my family.

Family?

You guys.

Seriously?

Just a couple hours.

Don't worry,
the place just needs a quick clean.

You think it's dirty now?

Got it.

My outfit.

Bye bye, Caitlin Jenner.

Welcome Lola, Empress of East Paris.

Empress of the East!

Lola, I didn't mention you.

What?

You understand, it's...

Mainstream audiences won't like it.

- Main what?
- Mainstream.

It's for TV.

Alright, ratings?

I'm not very hungry.

I understand.

Can I get her meatballs?

Know what?

Count me out of the song-and-dance
for the cameras.

Action.

Mom's my best friend, my confidante.

Our sister?

- We go back a long way.
- Mad.

Very girl.

Prettiest ever.

Pretty girl.

Miss France, for sure.

It's on you.

She understands me.

Better than all my boyfriends.

Actually...

What's the line?

"No man truly understands women."

Who wrote this claptrap?

I did.

It's relatable.

You can't say that.

Ma'am, we're pros.

Zip it, buster!

Don't say that.

Can we move on?
I have 15 more to do.

We don't have all day, let's move it.

No man knows what a woman's thinking.

Alright.

Am I wrong?

Sorry I'm late, darlings.

I was finishing off a regular,
who couldn't come.

Sorry, I wasn't invited?

My name's Lola.

I'm a hooker. In the woods.

What is this family?

When I met Alex, she was a grub.

No life skills.

But such grace.

I was the first to believe in her.

And she never judged me.

Never.

The girl who won't turn her back on you.

People change.

You're disappointed,
so you drink to forget.

I like old-school values.
Friendship, for example.

Another cliché fantasy.

I must be over the hill.

Alright, cut.

Getting tuxed up for that.
Never again.

I'll tell her to take me out.

Alex has gone south. She's gone.

What's wrong with her?

Those guys are pros?

You've changed.

I've changed?

You preferred me the way I was?

At least you were normal then.

Normal?

So normal
that people stared at me, insulted me.

I was unhappy. That's normal?

I have a chance to break out.

You want me
to rot here with you, in fact.

A social outcast for life.

Not for me, thanks.

I don't want that life.

St. Pierre, please.

Not now, the hands.

- Sorry I'm late.
- Too late! 3rd time.

Your tough luck.

Come back next time.

Pardon me?

Give us a second, please.

What's going on?

It's my family.

They're mad at me for making it.

I don't get it.

They say I've changed, but no.

I'm just flying.

Lots of followers.
I get on with the girls.

People stop me for selfies.

Listen to you. Followers, flying...

No, you're not flying.

We'd know.

I wonder why I ever believed in you.

You don't decide. The public does.

You wanted to be someone?

You're becoming a no one.

This is Daddy.

Is that you?

What's with chick garb?

Hey, you look good.

I appreciate it.

You don't feel good?

Fine, thanks.

You're sure?

- What are you doing?
- Take it easy.

Don't.

You can't refuse a consoling kiss.

Don't be shy.

Let me.

Stop, please!

Stop.

Stop what? What's going on?

Look at what you're wearing.

Look at you.

You're sick, right?

Go get help.

What will we do with you?

You won't even toe the line

Looking like your dad,
your hair swept back

You're nothing,
nothing, nothing like a woman

Like a woman

What about your breasts?

The feline arch of your back?

Part wet nurse, part streetwalker

Behave, behave, behave like a woman

Like a woman

I don't have what it takes

I can't carry off

being a woman of my times

These really are curious times

Where the heck are you going?

To walk the streets. It's my fate.

You know your rates?

You're worth 100.

Newbie.

Learn to fight back.

But you're young.

And with your male organ,
you'll be fine.

Nothing ethnic marks you down.

Let's say 80.

Smooth skin. 90.

But watch out...

Every five years, 20% off.

Yup, your value declines.

Make sure you save.

I never did.

See? I'm still here.

I started out at 80.

Now I can get 13.

Still up for it?

Go home.

Sorry.

Come on.

Give that back!

Butt out!

You're still here?

Move your ass. Go see Barbie!

I'm nothing special.

You are special.

Amanda said I'm hollow, futile.

Look at me.

Leave me alone.

I know why you did it.
I know why you'll go.

I know why you'll go!

Open up.

Alex, I'm sorry.

You are special.

Stop that.

You're lying.

Lying like them.

My parents always told me that,
as a kid.

There weren't
boy's dreams and girl's dreams.

I could do anything,
accomplish anything.

They were bullshitting me.

I'm not a man. I'm not a woman.

And that, you know, is...

That's for real.

No one will fall in love with me.

I don't want to end up alone like you.

35 years ago, I...

I dropped everything for a man.

I turned my back on my family.

My job.

Money...

Friends...

My goals as a woman.

I'd have died for him.

And one day, he left me.

I never got over it.

I never let anyone near me again.
I thought...

I thought I deserved the rejection.

You're making the same mistake as me.

Never let anyone else

determine your value.

Time goes by so fast.

So move your ass, get dressed

and get down there!

That's all I have to say.

- I tried to revive her.
- She had seizures before?

Don't know. What's wrong?

Bring to ER her ID and healthcare card,

and recent test results.

I'm on it.

Where are you going?

She's my mother.

- Where are they taking her?
- Who knows?

I'll go get her documents.

Thanks, girls.

Finalists' choreography now.

Contestants 9-13 on set.
Everyone else, new outfits.

Pays-de-Loire, nipple pasties, please.

Anyone seen Ile-de-France?

Yes, getting her hair done.

Thanks.

Kevin, next up.

Réunion!

More elegant.

I found this on her desk.

When she wakes up,
she won't want to see you here.

Go.

Hurry.

No time!

Ile-de-France is missing.

You really saw her?

We go live in 3 hours.

I know.

Call the understudy.

Let's go!

I'm going live!

Here I am!

I came as fast as I could.

The cabbie stuck to the speed limits!

No shower, just lavender.

I waxed in the cab.

Maybe went a bit hard,
got a rash, but I'm pumped.

- Thanks.
- No problem.

We'll call tomorrow.

We'll discuss this later. Go get changed.

Run!

- Amanda, what time tomorrow?
- 30 minutes!

30 minutes? Tomorrow?

30 seconds to primetime live.

Twitter's tweeting.

Set, 5... 4...

Cue set!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome
to the 52nd Miss France pageant!

Where'd you get a TV?

Old Sleeping Beauty next door.

I just hope I didn't unplug her.
The cables were tangled.

That's it.

Look, it's Sylvie.
That's what I call a woman!

Our all-female jury.

Wowser!

Chaired by beautiful, talented

Vaimalama Chaves, Miss France 2019!

Cute Miss France!

She's hot.

The jury's and public's votes
count equally

to choose Miss France 2020.

This year, for the very first time,

the Miss France trip
was environmentally themed.

Reduced carbon footprint.

I told you, baby seals.

That's good.

I had the idea first. I knew it.

I totally felt it.

The cause was hugely popular.

On social media,
we beat all our records.

No kidding it was a hit.

Great idea, going green.

Yes, a great idea we had.

Moving swiftly on,

let's go save the planet

Stand by trip.

Watch.

Cue trip.

- Nice.
- That's good.

That's really good.

Miss Alsace isn't bad either. Look!

Miss Alsace, kaboom.

Dreamy!

Stand by set.

Beauty and elegance now,

as we join our contestants
for our first tableau.

Let's go!

Love it.

That's heaven.

- Like they're angels.
- Heaven!

Fabulous!

I bet you one of them's single.

No fucking in heaven.

You ever been there?

- That one.
- Miss Corsica!

That's Miss Corsica?

The matadors, my favorite.

It was my idea.

Check it out!

All together!

Princess!

She learned the walk on Drag Street!

Not bad, I guess, Miss Ile-de-France.

The atmosphere is insane here.

Stay tuned.

After the break,

meet the contestants.

Twitter's going nuts.

Round one is over, the votes are in.

We have our six finalists,

one of whom will be crowned
Miss France 2020.

I'll call them down...

Who's your money on?

For me, it's PACA.

The first Miss to be chosen

is Miss...

Miss Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur!

- For sure.
- Guaranteed.

Told you so.

Atomic.

Miss Normandy!

That's a surprise.

Miss Brittany, let her go.

Come down here, Miss Normandy.

Miss Pays-de-Loire!

Magnificent.

Obvious choice.

- Obvious?
- She's fresh!

Miss St. Pierre & Miquelon.

People like simplicity.

That takes simple to another level.

It's neuronal.

Lots of surprises.

Lots of emotion
at the Miss France pageant.

Corsica!

- No kidding.
- Most likely, they got death threats.

I told her to keep calm.

Last but not least at this stage...

- She's got something.
- Beautiful.

We're in the final!

Help yourself, guys. On the house!

Let's not forget

our ten contestants
who lit up tonight's pageant...

Thank you all, see you at the end

for the coronation.

Now, our finalists
will introduce themselves.

Let's hear it for...

Don't cry, Lola.

She's doing great.

Good evening.

Honestly,
it's been a marvelous adventure.

Completely unexpected.

I'd like to thank

all the other contestants

and tell them that after the show,

crowned or otherwise,

a little of them will go with me.

Thanks, Miss PACA.

The girl's got it all.

Now, Miss Ile-de-France.

Please, join me here.

C'mon, buddy.

Miss Ile-de-France, it's your turn.

Let's hear it for her.

Don't be shy, you'll be fine.

Quit buffering. Do it.

Stress.

- Call him.
- I can't, he's live on TV.

You think his dress has pockets?

Good evening,

why did you
enter the Miss France pageant?

To get to know myself.

Every year, Amanda goes on a quest

for the word
that best defines femininity.

What would your word be?

For me, femininity is...

Mom and dad...

How lucky I was to be so loved.

You are my light here.

It was very hard after you were gone.

Very difficult to keep that light alive.

She's in the final.

I'm proud of who I became thanks to you.

So...

Alexandre lost his light.

Alexandra lost her light.

What the hell?

Surely she won't...

She's a man?

Gosh!

- Go back to the studio?
- Obviously!

What else can we do?

- Keep going.
- How come?

Get off, filthy tranny!

You knew.

Focus on style,
miss out on substance.

Unbelievable, doing this to me.

Here. It's all in there.

Mister President...

Courage.

Subtitles: Simon John

Subtitling: HIVENTY