Miriam's Big Fat Adventure (2020) - full transcript

This programme contains some
strong language.

Do I take my shoes off?
Yes, please. Righto.

I'll take my hankies out of
my pocket!

Not that they weigh very much.

Right. Shall I step on?

Yes, please.

OK.

So, we now put in your age.

78.

Yeah.
And if you stay where you are

we should get a small printout.



So what's my body mass...
Mass index.

It's 41.6.

So I'm morbidly obese.

Is that what it's called?

If that's the terminology
you want to use.

No. What do you call it?

SCOTTISH ACCENT: Bloody fat!

After a lifetime of worrying
about my weight,

I wanted to come to terms
with my body.

I'm only four foot 11.

But somehow, over 78 years,
I've managed to eat my way

to 14st 10lb.

I look like a sumo wrestler!

And I'm not the only one.



You're not a small person yourself,
are you? No. No, I'm not.

The country weighs more than ever
before.

I steal food.

Can I ask what it is you steal?
Chocolate?

I was on a mission to understand why
we're doing it to ourselves.

Is she right?

How extraordinary!

And what it's doing to us.

Argh!

There's times that I, like, start
punching my pillow

because I'm just so angry
with myself.

I was entering a controversial
world where people took

things to extremes.

Don't you think your, erm, twingle

is a bit loose? A little bit, yes.

And sometimes had to face
the consequences.

See, I've got all this.

A world where coming to terms with
what you're doing

to yourself...

So you don't care that you're fat?
No.

CHEERING

Means you might have to come to
terms with yourself.

THEY CHANT

I'm happy with who I am.

I'm happy with my face.

I'm happy with my life.

I am disgusted by my body.

I loathe it.

If I could migrate my whole
personality and my face onto another

body, I would be delighted.

Whose body would you like to
inhabit?

Claudia Winkleman.

I fully understand

that most people would say,

"Get over yourself
and stop eating."

It's not so simple.

I keep trying to do things about it.

I've gone on diets all my life.

I worry about it all the time.

And whenever I go into a food shop,
I think, "I mustn't have that.

"I mustn't have that."

It's a constant battle.

It's difficult being fat.

It's a hard, miserable fate,

and I'm sure that there are loads

and loads of fat people
who would agree with me.

They might not want to be perfect,

but they don't want to be fat.

And they're right.

It seems we've become a nation
of humungous arses,

sagging bellies

and pendulous bosoms.

And according to the internet,
nearly a third of people in the UK

are officially obese.

I wanted to know why.

I decided to start with people who
are fighting

back against fat.

And I knew exactly where
to find them.

A health farm.

The main rule when you go
to a health farm is limiting

the amount that you eat and
increasing the amount of exercise.

You're prepared to eat less?

Of course I'm prepared to eat less.

That's absolutely essential.

I've booked in for two full days
at Team Bootcamp, where they fight

obesity with a
military-inspired regime.

Oh, what a lovely house!

I wanted to find out why the
campers' weight had got

so out of control that they needed
such an extreme intervention.

Hello. Hello!

Let me clamber out.

Come on in! Right.

What a nice place!

So, first of all, my name's Craig.
This is Paula.

We set up Team Bootcamp
about six years ago. Are you lovers?

Yeah, we're husband and wife.

Oh, right.

So we're not lovers any more.
We're not lovers any more!

We've been married for six years.

What is your background, may I ask?

So my background,
I spent over 12 years

in the Royal Marines.

And I think the military does
give you self-discipline.

The majority of campers that come
and stay here would say,

"I just wish I had more discipline,
self-discipline."

The reason why bootcamp works well
is we strip choice away from you.

The way we describe it is
"hard on the outside",

and then Paula brings the soft
and nurturing on the inside.

I have, for a big proportion
of my life, been a big, big girl.

I was 20st at my heaviest,

and also suffering from a lot of
kind of mental health problems.

And so I did loads of research
on how to be happy.

And then finally woke up one day
and realised, you know what?

You have to make yourself happy.

At bootcamp, campers are left with
only one decision - where to sleep.

£600 gets you a week in a tent
in the garden.

£1,400 gets you
the executive suite.

So this is you, just here.

VOICEOVER: I don't DO tents.

How beautiful is that?

Do you want a cup of tea
or something?

I'd like a cup of hot water.
Is that allowed?

Yes, it is!

There you go. Thank you.

It's really hot, actually.

So, let's have a look at you.

I mean...

..what do you weigh now?

I weigh 12 and a half stone.

And where have you lost it most?

Everywhere.

Apart from my legs -
I have heavy legs.

But you see, I haven't.

My legs are sort of...

You've got nice legs! They're sort
of diddy legs, aren't they?

See, I get terrible leg envy.

Leg envy? I do get leg envy!

Well, you're not havin' mine, love!

I do.
But it is what it is, isn't it?

I think that as soon as somebody
says, "I was fat and here I am,

"look at me now,"

you think, "Wow, that's authentic."

Because it's no good,

some little willowy thing
undulating towards you and saying,

"You can have a body like me,"

because you know fine well
you can't.

Everything at bootcamp
runs on military time.

There is absolutely no unsupervised
eating, and portion control

is strictly regulated by chef
and bootcamp graduate Ricky.

Hello. Can I come and investigate?
You certainly may!

You certainly may. Come on in.

You came to lose weight?

Yeah, I came because I'd actually
got to the point

where I was 35st. 35st?!

Yeah, 35st.

So I've lost about 13 and a half
stone in total now.

Have you got some before photos?

I do have. I have one from the day
I got to camp.

Oh, show us. There we go.

What prompted you to come here?

Was it a realisation of imminent
death or something?

It was a lot, actually,
quite a big combination of things.

I lost my job.

My parents decided to get
divorced after 35 years together.

And because of the divorce
I moved out of the family home

and was living with friends.

And it became a cycle
of just waking up,

going to the shops,

buying copious amounts of rubbish,
going back to their house, sitting

watching TV and eating that rubbish
all day.

I think I put on about
five, 6st in three months.

I couldn't go to the toilet
properly,

I couldn't shower myself properly.

It really had got to that point,
a point that I really never thought

I'd ever get to.

So coming here was really a chance
for me to sit and reflect

and actually change who I am
and the way I think.

There we go. Thank you.

So is this the suggested
portion size for...?

ALL: Yes.

If you were at home and you, erm,
being who you were, let's say,

what would this meal be?

A lot bigger.

Three times the size, yeah.
A big dinner plate, yeah.

I would binge. Yeah.

So, like, one of my biggest
binges I ever had was

two large pizzas from Pizza Hut.

The chicken goujons,
the garlic bread.

And, to top it off, I had the ice
cream with a two-litre bottle of

Coke, and I ate that in about
a three-hour sitting.

So coming from that to come
to this, you see exactly

what your body actually needs.

Do you think that society's
rough on fat people?

Yeah. Yeah. Meeting people is
especially hard because you know

the first thing they'll see is
how big you are. Yeah. I agree.

Oh, thank you.

I get to like people very quickly
and they've opened themselves to me

so sweetly here.

They've exposed
their vulnerabilities.

Obesity.

It's a pit that you fall
into and you scrabble and scrabble

and try to get out.

And, really, they're being shown
a ladder and they're climbing it.

Training will start at 9:00
in the morning, with every camper

facing five and a half hours
of physical exercise every day.

How was it, the first night?

Oh, I slept well. It's very
comfortable.

Are you ready for some rigorous
exercise?

Yes, I-I'll certainly watch!

No, I'm quite looking forward to it.

Excuse I. Sorry!

So when the trainer comes out,
we'll stand up and do a register,

and then it's straight on with
the... Yeah.

OK, guys. Let's line out, then.
Nice straight line.

Stand up. Come on. It's not
Butlin's.

The one rule that you all
should be aware of now

is that our feet are constantly
moving. To start off with,

I'm happy for you to do
something like this.

Were you sporty as a kid?

I was never sporty as a kid.

Jogging around, nice and light.

Loosen off the fingers
a little bit.

I was always the very last person
to be chosen in a team.

As we're jogging around, then, I
just want to you sort of high fiving

people that you pass.

And that is quite humiliating,
to be the very last person.

Keep it nice and tight.
Light on the feet.

Just as I was the very last
person at the school dance.

Going to go straight into a floss.
Who can do the floss? Anyone?

And I was always the wallflower
that was stuck longest to the side

of the wall.

It's a humiliation you don't forget.

And it means that really early
on in life

you learn the pain of rejection

because your body isn't wanted.

I'm just going to sit down...
Yeah, sit down for a bit.

..for a minute.

Three, two, one, sprint! Let's go!

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

That's not for me.

I can just keep trying to move.

CRAIG SHOUTS ENCOURAGEMENT

Excellent! Love the little relay
we've got going on here.

This is my bootcamp!

Let's go.

GENERAL CHATTER

Guys are walking - come on, let's
job.

Be ready.

Charlie, take charge!
Come on, let's go!

Much better.

Will, hang in there.

I am so breathless
with admiration for you all!

It's stunning, what you're doing.

Is any of it fun?

Yes! Yeah.

Is it?

Some of it's fun! No!

Argh!

Nice! Good!

Keep the chest up. And five...

Fuck it.

Yes! Well done!

It's my back, you see. Well done.

I'm damaged goods, darling,
you've got to understand.

We all are! I'm not just 78.

I'm 78 and fucked, basically!

TRAINER CHORTLES

They are forcing
people to see life

in a completely different way.

But that's what they've been asked
to do.

This is your finish. You finish it.

These people
here want to be controlled.

They are giving up their freedom

in return for a vision of
themselves...

..that they think they might
achieve.

Will is the newest recruit
in bootcamp.

After five years at the private

boarding school Harrow
and a year at university,

he's grown to 28st.

I wanted to know why he'd let
his weight get out of control.

Will!

Yeah?

Come and have a chat with me. Sure.

You interest me very much.

Oh, thank you.

You want to lose weight because...?

Loads of reasons.

Self-confidence.

I don't want to be at uni
and my friends come to me and say,

"Let's go canoeing,"

and I say, "Oh, God, I wonder
if the boat's going to be able

"to handle me."
Do you know what I mean?

That kind of thing. I know exactly
what you mean. Yeah.

I don't want my weight
to get in the way of me having fun,

or getting into a relationship
or anything that.

What are the things that hold
you back?

I think it's me
just being self-destructive.

I mean, it's all mental.
I've struggled with stress,

I've struggled with anxiety.

Going to the schools that I went to,

it was always a really pressurised
environment.

And it sucks, because, like,
I really want to get in shape.

I really want to do this for myself.
And then I don't,

and then I'm so angry at myself,
and it gets exhausting.

There's times that I'm in bed and I,
like, start punching my pillows.

Or scream into pillows.

I'm just so angry with myself.

I feel as if I'm listening to myself

because I have an exercise bike
in my house.

Yeah. I know that if I go
first thing in the morning...

Uh-huh... I will go on it.

And I find ways not to go.
To not go.

It's my situation.

I know it so well.

But to be fat at 78 is ridiculous.

To be fat at 20 and to be doing
something about it,

I think it's good.

I just hope with all my heart
that he sticks with it.

Off you go! Training is accompanied
by compulsory daily therapy.

Today, campers are working
on visualising a positive future.

It looks like very confident
and very like, on the go.

And very much ready for anything.

The aim is to retrain residents
for a thinner life in six weeks,

but some campers end up staying
a lot longer.

Georgia's been here almost a year,

and works part-time to pay her way.

She struggles with the most common
eating disorder - bingeing.

Before I left, I wanted to find out
why she was unable to return

to normal life.

So that was when I first
started camp.

So that was August last year

and camp was my last hope, in a way.

I came to camp at about 21st.

Shit! That IS a lot. Yeah.

I was...
That's a lot!

I got told that
I looked like a thumb.

Who told you that?

Some boy.

I hope you got hold of his testicles

and squeezed them till his eyes
watered.

But when I look back, I did.

What happened that you...?

So, I've struggled with my
weight my entire life.

And then, when I went to university,
I put on about 10st.

You must have worked very hard to
put on 10st.

Erm, I ate a lot of pizzas and
takeaways.

And I did a lot of bingeing.
So, once...

And you didn't move much?

No, I didn't move at all.
Stayed in my room, in my house,

became a bit of a recluse.

I do suffer with depression
and anxiety,

and that had a bit to do with
it but, yeah. As I got bigger,

the less I wanted to go out
and do things.

What was your bingeing?
What did you do?

It would be a 2:00 am drive
to McDonald's drive-thru.

And I'd order wherever special
burger they'd have with the fries,

a chocolate milkshake.

Then I'd order a Big Mac,

and then I'd order three
Double Cheeseburgers

and two Chicken Mayo burgers.

And I'd sit in my car and I'd eat
all of that.

What have you learnt here
that has helped you?

That it is an addiction. For me
personally, it's the first bite.

That's where the happiness
comes from.

Because when you're eating,
you're not thinking about whatever

it is that's upset you or
frustrated you.

You're all focused on that food

and you've forgotten how you're
going to feel afterwards.

Because afterwards,
you never feel great.

It's still there and I still binge.

But my win is that it's four
chocolate bars.

It's not four burgers with an extra
side of another four burgers.

It's quite complicated, losing
weight, isn't it? Trying to.

Yes.

Right.

Most people don't understand that

it's in your head.

It's not in your tummy.

It's in your head.

But society is not sympathetic.

Society is a bugger.

Society is hurtful and cruel.

And I hope that they've got
the strength to be able to say,

I'm not worthy of being despised

and don't laugh at me in the street.

At bootcamp,

the campers were protected,
but when they finally left,

they'd have to be ready
to deal with society's disdain

for the overweight on their own.

The accepted way of looking
at the world

is that you have to be thin,

and when you're not thin, you're
made to feel

that you're not good.

And that is a tough psychological
burden to have to carry.

Some people are now espousing
a movement

called body positive

and they say, "I'm fat. Face it.

"Deal with it.
I'm not prepared to.

"It's your problem,
world, not mine."

There's a woman on the
world wide web called Bethany.

She's an anti-diet,
plus-sized activist

with a doughnut tattooed
on her tummy.

To be fat and happy

goes against everything
I've always believed possible,

but I was intrigued.

Hello. Hello!

Nice to meet you. I'm Miriam.
Nice to meet you. I'm Bethany.

WAITER CHATS

Thank you.

So you don't care that you're fat?

No, I don't care.

It doesn't distress you.

No. You don't worry about it. No.

You refuse to know your weight.
Yes.

You're not interested in your
weight. No.

Your attitude to it,

has it changed over the years?

Yeah. I think I did find it harder
when I was younger.

And then, the older I've got,
the more I've kind of found

what I really feel, rather than
what I'm kind of meant to feel

about my body. What do you think
you're meant to feel?

Shame and difficulty
and unhappiness.

Have people been horrid?
Yeah, of course.

I mean, it's not like I live in some
kind of other fantasy world

where I don't experience
all the same, like, rubbish stuff.

It's just, I don't know, I feel like
I know that they're wrong.

I don't feel bad about myself.

I, personally, don't feel
like I am a bad person,

like I'm unattractive, like I don't
deserve love and friendship

and an interesting life
and a fulfilling career

and all of this stuff.

But it is a fact that being fat
is a strain on your body.

So it seems a bit wilful of you not
to take that on board.

We know from various studies
that long-term, large amounts

of weight loss are not sustainable,
that if you track, like, people

that have lost a large amount
of weight for more than two years,

something like 2% of them
keep it off.

If you don't keep it off, you're in
the cycle of kind of crash...

On and off? On and off, which is so
dangerous for your heart.

And I cannot get
behind the idea of, like, regretting

years of my life that I spent
worrying about what I was eating

or whether I was going to enough
spin classes or whatever.

That's just so sad to me. It is sad.

Yeah. Because, like, you hating your
body for however many years,

it hasn't made you thin or happy.

I'm not sure if Bethany's correct.

Most medical advice is agreed -

being fat is not healthy.

But Bethany had managed
something I never had.

She'd made being fat a positive part
of who she was,

although, as she admitted,

she still had to deal
with society's ridicule.

You doing some homework, are you?

Yeah.

I'm trying to find out
whether being fat is really funny.

JIMMY CARR: Of course, not all fat
people are jolly.

Some of them are women.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Fat girls have got feelings.

Mainly, they're hungry.

Watching Jimmy Carr having a go,

a whole theatre
full of people laughs.

It's only a joke, isn't it?
It's only a bit of fun.

I told it the other night and a girl
got up and walked out.

Well, waddled out.

Oh, dear.

I presume offended,
possibly just peckish.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Jimmy thinks that fat people
are hysterical because they waddle.

They don't walk. They waddle.

They're walking
out because they're hungry,

not because that they don't think
he's any good.

I do laugh,

but at the same
time, I think it's shitty.

I mean, there is no doubt
that it is a prejudice against

fat people and it's a prejudice
that everybody who isn't fat

is prepared to join in with.

It's a nasty way

of exposing fat people.

I do notice fat people.

See, there's a fat lady.

She's fat, too.

Every other group, you know,
blacks and gays and trans,

they're quite vocal,

but fat people are a silent
majority.

We don't have a voice
because we're ashamed.

With fat people keeping quiet,

society gets away with publicly
ridiculing them.

But I wondered if society
itself was keeping quiet

about deeper, darker prejudices.

Dr Eric is a behavioural
psychologist, leading the research

into how a person's mental health
might become damaged,

simply by being obese.

Hello.

Hi, there. Hi. I'm Miriam.

Nice to meet you.
Yeah, you as well.

What do you know about being fat?

I know plenty,
but you're pretty slender!

When thin people
see fat people,

what have you found
is their response?

So, the research that we've done
suggests that it's common

to attribute stereotypes to people
of heavier body weight. You know,

lazy, greedy, lacking self-control.

And I think one of the reasons
is because of what we're fed by

media about what's success,

and that's a thin body shape,
and what's failure,

and that's a heavier body weight.

And that seeps into our
consciousness

over time and changes the way we
think.

Dr Eric's latest research
investigates whether society's

contempt makes the obese
self-destructive.

For this, he analyses his students'
behaviour when they're made fat

with the use of prosthetics.

Miriam, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

You're very tiny!

So you've no idea
what it's like to be fat. No.

So are we talking about a fat suit
that you're going to wear?

You put it like that, it doesn't
sound very scientific,

but that's exactly what it is.

The idea is that when you put
it on and wear it, you look

like you're overweight.

Eric is a psychologist.

He's not so much interested
in the hanging tits

and the hanging belly.

He's interested in the effect
that that has on the life

of the fat person.

Oh, my God!

NERVOUS LAUGHTER

Hello, fatty!

Well, go out and have fun being fat.

There's a popular idea
that stigmatising people somehow

makes them change their life
and dramatically lose weight.

Snap out of it. Exactly.

The research shows that, actually,
people who experience stigma

are more likely to go on and develop
more serious health problems.

They gain more weight.

So there's a bad reaction.
Which is not at all surprising

if you think about what humans
are like.

We're inherently social creatures.

We care about what people
think of us.

Social exclusion,
social rejection, they hurt.

The other psychological effect,

it's called internalising.

Over time, the idea that fatness
equals failure

becomes ingrained and it changes
how you think about yourself.

Self-esteem plummets downwards.

You have gradually accepted
the messages that you're

no good and that you're not going
to succeed.

So how was it?

Erm, it was interesting because
obviously, it's graduation today.

And I felt like I was a very stark
contrast to them. Uh-huh.

Because they were all very
glamorous, very slim,

and I felt very self-conscious.

I felt that if I was kind
of graduating next year,

I wouldn't feel comfortable.

Yeah. Which is incredibly similar to
what lots of people

with obesity report experiencing.

If you have that chronic belief
that people might judge

you negatively because of the way
you look,

and that's quite stressful,
and something that can impact

on mental health as well.

Dr Eric's research is part
of a worldwide study that actually

shows that the disdain society holds
for the obese is deeply embedded.

Participants are shown the famous
evolutionary scale

that represents the ascent of man.

And so, in the study, what we say
to participants is,

where would you rate
different people

on this scale of evolution? Oh, God!

Right. So where they'd put a person
with normal weight would be here,

the top end
of the evolutionary scale.

When we ask people, well,
how evolved and how human do

you think people with obesity are?
Then a proportion of people

put a person with obesity further
down, closer to a primitive,

unevolved ape than a human.

I find that offensive.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

We're not just ugly

and smelly

and greedy and lazy.

We're actually subhuman as well.

We haven't evolved.

That IS hard to bear.

I've developed a strategy
for being fat.

I say, "I'm fat.

"Notice me because I'm fat.

"Don't bug me about it.

"And I wish I weren't."

Is it effective?
Up to a point.

Yes, I think it is effective.

It's not effective
because I'm still fat.

It would be more effective
if I weren't!

A recent study found that,
if you're obese, you're 45%

more likely to be depressed.

And it's middle-aged men
who struggle the most

with their weight.

I was off to meet a 39-year-old
called John, whose obesity

had left him a social recluse

until he found the answer -
football.

Man V Fat is a weekly
football league that combines

dieting and chasing a ball.

I wanted to know if losing
weight meant you could lose

your mental struggles too.

Hi! I'm John.

Hiya. I'm Miriam. Hi.

Are you the fattest?
Who's the fattest?

I probably was when I started.

Were you? Yeah, possibly!

How much have you lost? 10st.
There or thereabout.

You must have been a big boy.
I was. But...

I mean, I don't understand
how you could run if you were

10st heavier.

When we started
I don't think I did, did I? No.

It was... He just strolled about,
did he? Yeah.

How long have you been doing it?

Nearly two years now.

Are you married? Yes.

Is she a big woman? Yeah.

She just given birth to our baby.

Oh, well, you can
manage to get it up then, can't you?

LAUGHTER
I can now!

Bit of a problem before. We were
trying for a baby for ten years.

Never happened.

Do you think that was because of
the weight?

Well, my wife thinks so.

Whenever you're ready, mate.

Feeling good this week?
Yeah.

How much have you lost?

2.1kg.
That's four pounds?

That's four-and-a-half pounds.
Four-and-a-half pounds.

Oh, that's a lot! Great week, yeah.
Yeah.

You look forward to this?
Yeah.

It's sort of rolling back
the years, really.

You get to play football.
Get to know each other.

We've got a WhatsApp group where
we support each other.

Have a chat.
You sound just like girls,

because women are good at getting

together and talking.

And I never thought men were. But...

I don't think, if it wasn't for
this, I would talk about it.

Normally, dieting is kind
of, you're screwed up to it

and you don't really want to do it.

But they want to do this.

They're encouraging each other.

They're having fun doing it.

You know, we know that you've got
to move more,

but they're moving together.

And that's the thing.

They're doing it together.

GENERAL CLAMOUR

When you hear about
fat football, you think

they're just going to be little
snails, kind of going very, very

slowly along a pitch.
Far from it.

These guys are pelting down!

It's not a soft option.

They mean business.

And I don't think they're thinking
about whether they're fat or not

when they run - they want
that bloody ball.

That's what they want.

The men were revelling
in their own safe space.

John's team wasn't due to play
until the end of the evening.

His wife, Kelly,
lived round the corner.

I went to find out how John's weight
loss had transformed their lives.

Hello! Hello, I'm Kelly.

Oh, good.

I'm Miriam. Hi, Miriam.

Nice to meet you. And you.

Come on in.
Come on in. Thank you very much.

This is Freddie. Hello, Freddie!

Oh! This is a chance for girl talk

without your lovely John! Yeah!

What a nice man! He is, yeah.

You're not a small person yourself?

No! No, I'm not.

No, no.

When did you meet?

We met on an online dating site.

So it was still very taboo
at that point.

That was 2006.

When you saw him coming through the
restaurant door or whatever it was,

did you think, Blimey O'Reilly?

Yeah, I was a bit, I was shocked

that he was bigger
than I thought he was.

But I had it in the back of my
head the chats that we'd had.

So I sort of looked past that.

The fact
that he was overweight... Uh-huh.

Didn't, it didn't...
Didn't stop your gonads?

No! I put it!

No, no. You thought,
"Ooh, I like him"?

Yeah. He was just,
he was lovely to me.

And that's what...

Yeah, I didn't care that he was fat.

You saw the man... Yeah.

..behind the blubber. I did. Yes.

So to speak. Yes.

I'd like to see photos.

Yeah? I've got a picture over there.
OK. I'll grab it.

Oh, that's divine, isn't it?

That little face of his!

It's so gorgeous! I know!
Coming out of that bulk!

I know. I know!

But until now, John was
very like closed within about it.

He knew what he was like.
He knew he was fat.

Yeah. But he couldn't talk about it?
No.

He was terrible, terrible
self-conscious about it.

So he's getting more confident? Yes.

Incredibly. His just whole persona,
his whole being has just changed

and he's not unhappy any more.

And that's because he lost weight?

Yeah, yeah. And I've put it down
that we conceived Freddie

because John lost a lot
of weight at that time.

They say that the sperm count
in an overweight man can be lower.

Yeah. So it's possible.

Yes.

Say hello? Say hello!

What do you think would
have happened if John hadn't

slimmed off and played
football and changed his life?

I think we'd have still
been together, I think.

But not as happy, maybe? No.

No.

We're definitely
a very happy family.

You are.

WHISPERS: You're a happy family!

You're a happy family!

There never has been a clearer
example of how weight loss

can transform lives.

It's about two people falling
in love

and having a gap
in their lives.

PLAYERS SHOUT

And the weight loss transforms
itself into a baby.

Marvellous! Magic, really!

One of the tragedies of fatness
is that people see us differently,

and that really pisses me off.

Because there's no reason why

people should not allow fat people

to have romance in their lives.

But somehow, it's not attractive
to the ordinary person.

So they pretend it can't happen
and doesn't happen.

And it does, and it will,
and it should.

MIRIAM CHEERS

You weren't moving terribly fast
towards

the end, were you?

I saw you being a bit conservative
with the movement.

Yeah, but I'm moving a lot more
than I used to, so I...

Oh, I bet you are.

Football, love, and losing weight
seem to be allowing John to fit

back into society and get
the life he wanted.

He was going to the pub
with his team-mates.

I wanted to know how damaged
he'd been.

You were really unhappy being fat,
weren't you?

Yeah. Just before I started
Man v Fat, I went to get petrol

at a petrol station.

And the person behind the counter
says to me, "How much do you weigh?"

Like, I don't know him.

And how did you feel
when he said that?

Terrible.

Would you say that your
mental health was affected

by the way they laughed?

It got me down.

I felt depressed,

but I just went back in my shell.

That was my protection.

But, yeah. It probably did put me in
a bit of a dark place.

Did you feel that women
wouldn't be interested

in you because you were fat?
No, I'm still good-looking.

No, I'm joking!

Well, you are.

I found Kelly

and it sort of fell into place.

I didn't see what she found
attractive, but she says she fell

in love with the personality.
Why didn't you see?

When you don't feel good about
yourself, why would anyone else?

You know, when I was younger -
and I've always been fat -

I was always sure that nobody
would ever want to go to bed with me

because I was fat.

Would you fuck a fat girl?

I can't see why not!

Not in... Not...
Well, I've got a girlfriend.

Been with her for nearly 11 years.

So, there's no way...
No, no, you're not in the market.

But would most men?

I don't think they would,
would they?

As long as they're a nice person
and I find them attractive.

Well, I'm encouraged!

I thought
they were prepared to be serious

in a way that I wasn't expecting.

And John was endearingly open

about his weight and the effect

it had had on his life,
and the effect that losing weight

had had on his life,

which was entirely positive.

For John, weight loss seemed to be
the answer.

When I met Georgia, she'd already
lost 7st,

but had been unable to leave
bootcamp

because she was still trying

to deal with her bingeing
and mental struggles.

Georgia was home for a weekend
with her mother.

I wanted to know if they thought
she was ever going to get better.

Be quiet!

DOG WHINES

Hello! Hello!

Lovely to see you! Come in,
I've got a load of dog.

I love dogs! So that's gorgeous.

This is my mama.

Sheila. Hello!

Very pleased to meet you.

I'm Miriam.

So I've just popped home
for a few days.

Come and see the mama and my dog.

And we've just been
to a family wedding.

Did you see things
that you wanted to eat?

Yeah, and I ate them.
But I just didn't eat, like,

there was cheesecake. So I had
slice, like a normal person,

instead of a whole cheesecake.

And you could manage that?

Yes. Yeah. There was a lot of food.

That's, don't you think that's...?

There was a lot of food.
I did eat...

That's an amazing thing.
I did eat a lot.

Of course, she, second helpings
and third and fourth helpings.

Why do you think you binge?

Self-harm?

It's just another form of self-harm.

Can you tell if it's a binge day?

No. Yes. Yes.

No. I could tell.

Yes. In the past...
Hang on. Is it no or yes?

I'd be hard to push
to find a binge day now.

But, yes, I could tell
it was a binge day.

How? Why? How could you tell?

Withdrawn, secretive.

Isn't that something?

If I don't make eye contact with
you, Mum, you won't know I'm lying.

Is she right?

How extraordinary!

But I couldn't have said to her,

"You are not to go out
and get food."

Because I'd get double the amount,
then. Yes.

And you knew that?

I learned that.

Gosh! It's quite mad, really,
on my part. Yes.

You weren't well.

Yeah, but that can
still happen again.

I can still go to that place.

But I don't want to.

Do you think that the family
had any part in creating this?

It's very difficult when I have
two others who are

not binge eaters but

there must be something there.

You're a parent. You must take
on that responsibility somewhere.

If you had advice for parents,
what would you say?

I don't know. Trust them.

Have faith in them.

Give them time.

Are you allowed ice cream?

I am allowed whatever I choose
to have!

Are you? Yes.

Whatever we choose to have! Do you
want a Flake?

Do you want a Flake in yours?
Definitely! Yes. Two Flakes as well.

This is very good, isn't it?
Two Flakes!

You got two Flakes! Yeah.

I'm going to have this Flake
and then I'm going to get

rid of the rest.
Will you enjoy it?

I will enjoy the Flake.

If you could meet your ten-year-old
self, what would you say?

Be kinder to yourself.

Not everything is your fault.

Sometimes things just happen.

And that's OK and you'll be OK.

She's really a splendid girl,
isn't she?

She is.

I was very struck when Georgia
just said that bingeing

was the equivalent of self-harming.

Yes.

Every time she put something
in her mouth

that was extra
to what she was eating,

it was like she was abusing
her body.

Every can of Coke, every bit
of chocolate,

every burger, was a suicide tablet

that she was putting
in her mouth.

And you are powerless,
you are helpless.

She was so obese,

so ill with depression,

that I didn't think

that she would live to see,
say, her 30th birthday,

which she's just had this year.

And now when you see her,
how do you feel?

Relieved, I think. Proud of her.

I bet you are! Proud of her.

Obesity is something that people
laugh at, but when you talk

to those two, it's not funny.

It's heartache.

And it's also real terror
because she thought

that she could lose her daughter.

And that's not something
people think about.

You just think, you know,
too many cream buns.

Pull yourself together.

There's so much more to it.

Georgia had made massive progress,
but believed her happiness relied

on becoming mentally stronger
and continuing to lose weight.

I'd begun to think that turning
yourself slim may not simply

turn your life around.

I went to see my best friend Carol

to try and make sense of it all.

Hello! Hello!

It's open! Oh, is it?

Hello! How you doing?

I'm all right. How are you?

All the better for seeing you!

Definitely.

When I first met you,
which was in 1968,

you were a little elfin thing.

I know I was. And I put on weight,
but I've lost a lot subsequently.

Yeah, you have.

I've lost over 2st.

I think I've become accustomed
to smaller portions.

That's my problem.

I know it is.
You don't have a stop button.

Like everything else
has become encased in the fat.

Thank you.

Carol's always telling me off.

That's one of the parts
of our relationship

that has remained constant!

She knows what I'm like,

but she still likes me.

Can you imagine me slim?

MIRIAM CHUCKLES

It's difficult.

That's called a curved ball,
I think. Erm...

I AM a curved ball!
You ARE a curved ball. Yes!

I can imagine you slimMER,
but slim? No.

You would lose an enormous
amount of personality

if you were slim.

Would I? Would I actually
lose personality?

I mean... That's awful.

No, what you are is a little
powerhouse.

And I think if you were slim,

some of the power might go.

Well, I'm not eating too much now.

I've had an elegant sufficiency.

It was, but it was twice as much
as I had.

No, it wasn't!

I don't believe you.

You ate half what I ate? Yes.

I'm quite upset to hear that.

Why did you give me twice
as much as you had?

Because I knew you'd eat it.

Well, I think that's awful.

Sorry, but if I'd put the same
portion on there that I had,

you'd have said,
"Can I have some more?"

No, I wouldn't
because I'd have been...

Oh, yes, you would have.
Well, I might have.

I might have. You might well have.

Love you lots. You take care.

I mean, nobody wants to think

that their personality is residing
in globules of fat.

But I think if I were thin,
I would be quieter.

I think being fat makes me noisy.

Maybe Carol was right.

Maybe everyone wouldn't be improved
by being thinner.

I decided to go back to school

to meet a body confidence activist
called Trina.

Trina had just appeared
as a plus-sized model

in a nationwide advert,

and she was trying to teach
the children

that being slim
was not the only way to be happy.

The girls are there, waiting...
OK... if you want to come through.

Hello, everybody.

ALL: Hello.

Trina, you and me,
we're the only fat people here.

LAUGHTER

So "slim" isn't a word that
interests you particularly?

No, no. Slim doesn't interest me
at all.

Not one bit.

I just want you, in pairs,

to list as many beauty standards
as you can.

Curvy. But not, like,
curvy, but, like, curvy.

What's happened is that
they're seeing the glorification

of how these women or men
are being celebrated

by looking this certain way.

I'm absolutely fascinated
by "big bum."

That is the very last thing
I would have thought. Yeah.

Big bum? Yeah, boys are attracted
to big bums nowadays.

When you're seeing that
having a curvy body,

having a big bum and then being
very popular

kind of goes hand in hand,

then it's like it's something
that they want to attain.

This is me over here in
the recent TU clothing advert.

Often when people who are overweight
share their experience,

it always comes from a very negative
place.

So I feel like it's important
to share

that not everybody who is bigger
is unhappy.

Personally, in relation to what
you've written down in your list,

I don't think I really tick
those boxes.

I've got cellulite here.

I haven't got that hourglass.

My belly's hanging out.

I haven't got a flat stomach.

And yet still, my booty and my body
is, like,

blasted all over the UK.

My experience has taught me
that people who are fat

and say they're happy
are kidding themselves.

Is that because of what other
people think about them

or how they think about themselves?

I think it's about what society
is telling fat people... OK.

..that they don't fit in.

And I said, "You know what,
I look good! I look good."

And then came the comments. Oh, no!

"Ugh, she looks fat.

"She's spreading obesity.

"This is disgusting."

Body-shaming after body-shaming
after body-shaming.

I think there's many things
that make you happy

apart from your size.

To me, it's not so much about
what is on the outside,

it's what's on the inside
which I think is so important.

If somebody ever says to me,
you know, "You are fat,"

it's like, "Well, I'm not fat.
I have fat, but that's not who I am

"because what I am is a beautiful
black woman, thank you very much."

Well, you are!

The minute I saw Trina,
I fell in love with her.

Oh, yeah, she's fat, all right.

But she's so much more than that.

You don't look at the fat.

You look at the fun.

I never believed
that you could be fat and happy.

But she may be changing
my mind for me.

Trina runs a haven
for plus-sized women.

She believes that if you can
get big bodies in motion,

you can change minds,

and maybe the world.

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

WHOOPING

MUSIC STOPS

Hi, Miriam!

You're seeing me in a very different
setting, aren't you? How are you?

It's going to be very loud in here.

I know, I'm going to put my fingers
in my ears.

If at any point you want
to get up and join in...

It's not my thing, darling.
Well, you're welcome to, OK?

We have a guest in the room,

so everyone say hi
to Miriam in the corner.

ALL: Hi!

We're going to do some strutting.

And that's just because I'm bored

of people acting like big girls
can't be sexy,

we can't look good,

we can't work our hips,
cos we can, honey.

OK? Yes, we can.

Five, six, seven, let's go.

MUSIC PLAYS

If you actually were unprepared

for the size and proximity
of some of those buttocks

and some of those bosoms
and some of those bellies,

it could give you a bit of a turn.

But when you rise above the bellies
and the bosoms

and see the faces
and the dancing eyes,

you know that it's a good thing.

Grab some water, have a break,
stretch your legs.

That must have been fun.

It was, you should try it.

In the mirror, like, "OK..."

In my first class I actually
cried,

especially doing that,
touching yourself.

Because it's so liberating?
Yeah, because I wasn't OK

with touching myself
or even exposing this much skin.

But coming to this class,
I actually got to discover who I am.

And it's my body to touch,
it's my body to take control of.

MUSIC: Get Busy by Sean Paul

# Shake that thing, Miss Kana Kana
Shake that thing, Miss Annabella

# Shake that thing
yan Donna Donna... #

Five, six, seven, go!

They've created their world
and they're happy in it.

And they're all the same.

They're all fat girls.

When you're among your own kind,
you feel strong and safe.

I'm just very interested

in what Trina has got to offer
to these girls.

So why are you all here?

To be empowered. Yeah.
Why weren't you empowered before?

Because society has these ideals
and I don't fit that ideal.

Out there, it's a different world.

You can be on the tube, yeah,

every other poster is about diet
pills. Nothing wrong with skinny,

but there's nothing wrong
with me either.

It's great that when you build
up confidence here,

you can bring it to the outside.

And if you walked in
and people look and stare,

you're like, "Sorry, babe,
I'm walking, don't stop me."

LAUGHTER

You get that from here.

You're unapologetic.

Sometimes I go out and it's about
being unapologetically sexy,

like, I am who I am.

We are all so sexy and once you
own that

and you take that for yourself,
yeah, no one can get you.

It's also about the reprogramming
of society,

because as we become more confident
in this space,

we also go out and take that out
there.

Reprogramming, changing the world
one big girl at a time.

OTHERS: Yeah!

APPLAUSE

And it is our job here to tell
you, whatever you look like,

you can be happy in whatever size
you are.

You can be fat and happy?

Most definitely!

What?!

Look at me, honey!

OTHERS EXCLAIM

You've seen fat and happy today.

I have always thought
that you couldn't be fat and happy.

I have believed that.

And now I've come here,

I'm really not sure that I was
right, because you are happy.

And sexy, I can see that.

WHOOPING

It's thrilling to see people
owning themselves.

And you've taught me to go,
sort of, you know...

CHEERING AND WHOOPING

APPLAUSE

ALL: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Thank you! Thank you.

That was great.

Bye-bye! Bye-bye.

I've come out feeling
quite invigorated

because when you're
with happiness,

it spills over, and they were happy.

They've all suffered from being fat

and they decided that they weren't
going to suffer any more.

There's a definite defiance.

There's a shift of power.

And they've said to themselves
and to the world,

"Yes, I am fat and I'm loving it."

The ladies were starting to make me
realise I might be wasting my life

pointlessly loathing my body

when there was another way to be
happy.

Will had just finished
six weeks at bootcamp.

I wanted to know if he'd discovered
his own way to find happiness.

Hello!

Hello! Welcome, how are you?
You look great. Thank you very much.

Hello. Hello, I'm Miriam. I'm Jen.

May I ask you, how much
weight have you lost?

The six weeks that I was there,
I have lost just under four stone.

Yeah. Wow. So it was a lot.
It was a lot.

You did say that you thought

that being a bit smaller

would help you to find a woman. Mmm.

So how's it going?

Well, you know, it's actually
going pretty well.

I'm not gonna lie. Don't... stop.

There were a couple of interesting
people in the camp.

Have you had sex in the camp?

Don't ask that! I'm not answering
that! You don't have to.

It's just, a woman has to ask,
you know.

You would be surprised
at how often it does happen,

because as people lose weight at the
camp, they get more confident.

So it's a knocking shop as well
as everything else? It does happen!

But there have been improvements,
shall we say.

Isn't that great? I know.

It's amazing.

I think you're a remarkable
young man.

Thank you.
Don't you feel very, very proud?

I am. I am enormously proud of him.

Yeah. This is brilliant.

He's brilliant.
His sisters will laugh

because they think I think that
far too much.

Mummy's little prince.

Mummy's prince?

Mummy's prince, yeah.
You're not little.

No. And you're not large.

You have done well.

So pleased to see you
looking gorgeous.

I think you've got a great
future ahead. Thank you very much.

Bye-bye.

He didn't only lose weight,
Will lost the nonsense in his head.

The sun's come out on him.

It's wonderful.

I'm only halfway through
this journey, but it's changing me.

I came into this thinking that I was
going to find the answer to obesity

and that it would work
for everybody.

But there isn't one answer
for everybody.

One size doesn't fit all.

I need to explore further.

This is the first time I'm realising

that there's a lot of factors,

and it's made me more sympathetic
to people who are fat

and angrier with people who are
cruel to other people who are fat.

If you're mean about fat people,

I hate you.

I hope you wither on the vine.

With fat threatening to break
the NHS,

the Government tries to cure
the future obese.

And I meet a mini me...

I steal food.

Can I ask what it is you steal?

Chocolate.

..And discover how we're being drawn
into a quest for body perfection.

So I've got all this. It's replacing
one obsession with another.

It's not just paring down of food,
it's paring down of life.

And I didn't sign up for that.

Well, I'm going to revisit my past.

SHE LAUGHS

What a little angel I was!

That's Miriam, aged about three.

What a little charmer!

You don't, erm, look fat there.

No, I don't look fat there.

Well, that was 75 years ago,
darling!

I look fat now!

Last time, I discovered that despite
everything I'd ever believed,

it is possible to be fat and happy.

That is hysterical!

I think that is actually
a bridesmaid's outfit

and I look slim.

I'm only four foot 11,
but somehow over 78 years,

I've managed to eat my way
to 14st 10lb,

and it's crippling me.

There's two chins there.

Now, I'm off to investigate how,
when we live in a world

that's become obsessed
with achieving body perfection...

I've still got all this.

..the country's becoming fatter
than ever before.

All there is is this awful image
in my head of my body.

With obesity threatening
to break the NHS,

I wanted to find out if our future
is doomed...

What a face I had!

What a lovely face.

..or if swapping one obsession
with another may lead us all

to the answer.

Bloody Aida!

Hello! Darling girl! Hello!

The world seems to be
full of people in Lycra,

all in pursuit of perfection.

I confess that I would like to have
a six pack,

and a rippling body, but it's so far
from the realms of possibility,

and I know I haven't looked
after my body.

I've eaten too much, too often,
of the wrong things.

And my six pack has disappeared
in a mass of fat and flesh,

never to be seen again.

I'm not the only one
who's forgotten to exercise.

Obesity-related illnesses like high
blood pressure, type two diabetes

and certain cancers cost the NHS
over £6 billion a year.

That's more than the police,
the Fire Service

and the judicial system combined.

I wanted to understand if there's
any way to stop the crisis.

I decided to start with someone
who knew the true cost of obesity.

Hi, Angela. How are you doing?
Hello. Not bad, how are you?

I'm good. Are you ready to come in?
Yeah.

Are you happy to wheel yourself?
Come on, then.

Angela's just 41.

Two years ago,
she had to have her leg amputated.

Hello. Hello. How lovely to meet
you. You too. I'm Angela.

I'm Miriam.

Every day the NHS deals with 23
new obesity-related amputees.

All need made-to-measure
prosthetics and weeks of physio

to be able to use them.

Gosh, it is a monster, isn't it?

It's surprisingly heavy.

Can I hold it? Absolutely.

Oh, shit a brick! Yeah, it is!

Does it feel like a foreign body?
Yeah, it does.

And I don't ever envisage
it being a natural feeling.

But you're going to have to get
used to it, aren't you? Yeah.

If I want to walk, then... Oh, well,
you do want to walk, don't you?

Well, yeah. Ultimately... You do.

..you have to. I want you to walk,
and I've only just met you!

Ultimately, you have to get
used to it.

But it does, it does feel strange.

Well, you'd better get on with it.
Right, then.

Let's get your hands on the chair.

And then coming up. That's it.

And as you're up, click your knee
back so you can feel it lock.

And holding on.

OK. So really hitching that up.
That's lovely. Good.

You're managing really well there.
That's great!

Good. OK?

You did it!

Yes! That's it. I'm done now!

How was that?

Exhausting.

Amputations are frighteningly more
common now, aren't they? Yes.

Type two diabetes is on the rise.

And so obviously,
one of the consequences

of diabetes is amputation.

And one of the consequences
of obesity is diabetes? Yes.

So it's a kind of horrible chain of
circumstance. It absolutely is, yes.

Do you blame yourself
for this situation?

Do I blame myself for being
now fat and one legged?

Yeah, probably.
Because I could have done more.

Angela is only 41.

She's too young to have to see
her life disappearing like this.

Her nails are red and beautiful.

She's someone who wants life,
who is part of life,

and it's being cut off.

Her life is cut off,
not just her leg.

Angela's weight has cost her
her leg and her freedom.

Stuck all day in her living room,

she relies on carers to wash,
dress and feed her.

Hello, it's only me.

VOICEOVER: I was concerned.

Come on in! Oh, that's good.
The door opens.

It's like magic! Hi. Hello.

I apologise, I'm in my pyjamas.

No, they're very fetching!
Thank you.

I brought you a couple of things.

I'm going to put them in the freezer
if that's all right.

OK. Cock-a-leekie soup.
You've brought me a spider as well!

Oh, well, that was no extra charge!
Oh, OK!

And some cottage pie.

I've put it in in the second drawer
down. Oh, lovely.

Thank you.
That was really kind of you. OK.

That's it. Well, I was going
to show you my scar.

Well, let's have a look at it.

Well, it's healed up amazingly.
It's beautiful.

I mean, I don't know what I was
expecting to see, but something

that was kind of bleurgh,
you know!

Yeah. But it's not at all. No.

What effect does it have up here?

It's not great for mental health,
because there is all that self-hate.

At the moment,
all there is is this...

..awful image in my head
of my body.

Despite her self-esteem having
plummeted, Angela still dreams

of being able to walk down the aisle
with Ryan,

her partner of eight years.

We have known each other
for 25 years and then,

the wonders of social media,
both of us had divorced.

And, well, you messaged me
on Facebook, didn't you?

I certainly did.

We went on one date and he hasn't
gone home since.

You didn't bargain for all of this,
of course? No.

I mean, what's it like?
What's sex like?

Do you have sex? Can you have sex?

We do, just not very often.

Sex is a massive issue, though,
isn't it? Mm-hm.

Is it the leg that's coming
between you, so to speak?

I think so.

I probably could count on one hand
how many times Ryan's seen me

naked since my amputation.

But he loves you. I certainly do.

But I don't believe it, do I? No.

Because? Who'd want to be with me?

I've lost count how many times
I've told her that I'm not

going anywhere.

I'm here to help.
You're listening, aren't you?

I notice you paint your nails.
Yeah.

What's that about?

That's my kind of little treat.

And also, when I've got them on,
I don't feel like my fingers

are quite so fat and sausage-like.

So you really care
about your appearance?

I think I care more about other
people's perception of me.

I've never actually seen
a stump before.

It was like a tombstone for a leg.

And it came from obesity.

She lost her leg
because she was too fat.

That's a bit scary.

Fat is expensive.

It's costing the Health Service
a fortune.

Fat people are taking too big
a slice of the budget.

Now, that, we can't have.

So somewhere,
the cycle's got to be broken.

The next generation is predicted
to be the fattest ever.

The government has decided to act.

They've initiated
a weight management scheme.

All over the country,
children are being measured,

the overweight identified,
and invited for retraining.

Hi. Hello, good morning.
How are you?

Good, thanks. Emma?
I'm Emma. Nice to meet you.

So I'm not quite sure
what goes on here.

So we ring overweight children
that are identified

by the National Childhood
Measurement Programme

and they are identified...
So who's measured them?

So school nurses measure them.
Is it a big problem?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, we see a lot
of very overweight children.

From what age do you take care
of trying to...?

So, five to 17.
Kids can be obese at five?

Yeah, they can be obese
younger than that.

But we take them from five.

Hi, my name's Emma. I'm calling
from the Live Lighter programme

at the Weight Management Service.

What we do is we run
a 12 week programme.

So we do a little bit
at the beginning on, say,

things like sugary drinks,
portion sizes.

And then in sort of the second part,
we do some physical activity.

You know, this is a very tough job
you're doing,

because you're ringing people
who don't know you,

and trying to get them to get
their kid to join a club...

Yes... that they don't want to join.
Yes.

Essentially, in a nutshell,
that is what we're tying to do!

It is difficult.

And, you know, we have had some
telephone calls where we've had

some very, very angry parents.

You know, they have said we cause
anorexia and, you know,

we haven't got the right to speak
to them and all that kind of stuff.

You can tell... You can tell...
..that they're resisting

like billy-o. Yeah, definitely.

And I do get it to a certain extent.
I get it, because it's a cold call,

it's something that they might feel
quite conscious about themselves,

because there's a load of judgment
on parents, you know,

if you've got a child who's
overweight, well, it's your fault.

And it's just not as simple
as that at all.

The blame game is a very common game
in the fat world. Yes. Mm-hm.

My mother,
from whom I inherited fat,

she was a feeder, she fed me
so that she showed her love for me.

All her culinary skill was focused
on making me a fat, happy baby,

a fat, happy adolescent,
but a miserable fat grown-up.

This is Claudia.

She's just joined the programme.

She's almost 11 and the only child
of Helen and Mike.

Oh!
THEY LAUGH

Family shot!

I wanted to know if Claudia
was experiencing everything

that I'd gone through
almost 70 years earlier.

Hello! Hello! Mind the very...
Oh, I love dogs... loud, barky dog.

Come on!

I'm always better with dogs
than I am with children.

Hello! I'm Miriam. Hi.

So, when you look at me...

..what do you see?

A kind person. Do you? Yes.

I'm going to stand up
so you can see me better.

What do you see?

Erm....

Tell the truth.

It's hard, because,
like, you're trying to...

Someone's asking you
what they look like.

But you don't want to say
something, because... Why not?

You don't want to be mean!
Don't be... I won't be offended.

I know what it's like to be judged.

And it's not a nice feeling.

I know that I am overweight
and I know I am a bit fat,

but I'm not THAT fat.

But I know that I'm at that risk,

that I will be like that very soon,
if I carry on what I'm doing.

Now, tell me, what are you doing?

I steal food.

You steal food?

Do you mean you steal from shops?
No.

From the house. From the house.
I'm glad of that!

Because I don't want to be
interviewing you in a cell!

So can I ask what it is you steal?
Chocolate.

Why do you think you do that?

Probably out of boredom,
is one of the worst things.

But I'm try... I've stopped it now.
Ish.

Claudia, of course, reminds me
of me.

I'm not sure I was as articulate
as she is, but, oh yes,

there's a mirror there
I'm holding up to nature!

What's it been like for you, with
that enchanting little person?

She's hard work sometimes,
she really is.

But very engaging.

Do you worry? Very much so.

I don't want her to be fixated
on her size,

to be upset with herself
about her size.

I would much rather her focus
on the health benefits

of being slimmer.

But also, she's going to
secondary school in September

and I worry that...
she's started to get,

not the bullying so much as
name calling at the moment.

I think it's just going
to get worse and worse

as she goes through school.

Do you ever feel guilty
about the situation?

Not guilty. But responsible, yes.

To an extent. And I think
when she was a baby,

we were a little bit obsessed
on making sure she ate everything.

And then we did use treats
as rewards, didn't we?

We have done, yeah.
Did you know she steals?

Yes. We found the evidence
behind the sofa.

Have you thought about simply
not buying anything sugary?

Well, I try not to eat it.
It's just your habit.

I've got a bad habit.

Well, tough shit. You're going
to have to stop! Thanks!

Well, he does hide it
in his golf bag!

Yeah. Well, that's where she's
getting it from.

Yes. It's all my fault.

Well, it's not ALL your fault,
but I think you're implicated,

let's say! Without a doubt!

Every week for three months,
Claudia and her parents join up

with other families
on the weight loss programme

for two hours of exercise
and education.

Hello!

OK, guys, so we've got
the first question,

we've got how much counts as one
portion of fruit or vegetables?

OK? Is it your own handful?

Is it an adult's handfuls?
Or is it as much as we can eat?

I think I was expecting
to see much fatter kids,

real roly-poly infants.

Adam? Your handful.
It's your handful, yes.

So if we're having things
like that pear...

Almost normal.

We're just going to pop one bowl
on each table

and it's going to have
a different food in it.

The people who measure
are very beady.

They're not letting anybody
get through.

If you really don't like it,
don't worry, we have got a bin,

you can spit it out.
I'll try this big one,

if you try this tiny one of these.
Go on, have a try of it.

It's lovely.

What do we think? Don't like it?

Oh, I hate the one that's...
You've got to try it.

Ooh! Come on, try it.

I can tell you now,
that's my favourite, that one.

Go on, in it goes.

What do you reckon? Do you like
the taste of sweet pepper?

It's not that bad.
It's not that bad! There, see?

Did anybody try anything then
that they've tried before

and didn't like before? Yeah?

Claudia's going to chase you
all around this square. Go!

I can absolutely understand
that people might feel, you know,

"Piss off, it's... it's not... it's
not for you to say

that my kid's overweight.
Let me be the arbiter of that!"

But the fact that they enjoy it
so much shifted my view of it.

Fat kids go on to be fat adults.

So the sooner we can get hold of
them and slim them down, the better.

What was it like, had a good time?

Yeah, I've gone red!
Well, it suits you.

The famous Jesuits said,

"Give them to me before they're
seven and they're mine for life."

And I wish that somebody
had done that for me.

I would have been saved

from a lifetime of people saying
things and laughing at me

and me feeling lousy.

It would have made me a lot
happier and a lot fitter,

and I wouldn't have to walk
with a stick and all that bollocks.

Since I grew up, the world
has changed beyond all recognition.

Things like
the all-you-can-eat buffet

had not even been invented
back then.

But that still didn't stop me.

I remember when I was at school,
I was a little girl,

and I had four helpings
of chocolate semolina,

and I couldn't finish it.

And they made me sit
and look at it

all afternoon because I was greedy.

Are you greedy now?

Of course I am.

Of course I'm greedy.

Now, there's temptation
on every street,

and Britain has become the fattest
country in Western Europe.

The NHS's radical approach
to curing some of the super-obese

is surgically to stop them
from overeating.

I booked myself into an Airbnb
near Manchester.

Hello, duck.

They probably said,
"There's an overweight woman.

"She might have some food."
SHE CHUCKLES

I'd come to meet someone
currently undergoing

the NHS's most controversial
obesity cure.

I found Jess on the internet

because she posts pictures
of herself

and the story
of her search for slim.

I think she's very pretty,

but she's got
one hell of a big body,

and that's what she wants
to get rid of.

Jess is 28.

A year ago, she'd reached 23st.

She's now begun trying
to cut her body weight in half

and is already down to 17st.

After proving she could change
her eating habits,

the NHS decided Jess was eligible
for bariatric surgery.

Six weeks ago, Jess had her stomach
reduced to the size of an egg,

limiting the amount she can eat
for evermore.

I wanted to find out if bariatric
surgery could save the obese,

and the NHS.

Very pleased to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

I'll come and sit next to you.

Yes, of course.

Well, I've been fat all my life.
So have I.

And clearly, you've decided

you're not going to be fat at 78
like I am.

How long is it going to take?

I should be at goal weight...

they say about a stone a month,
so...

God, that's fast! I've got
a way before getting there,

but I'm hoping I've only got about
7st more still to lose.

I would be too scared
to have an operation.

Does it take courage to take
that decision? Absolutely.

It's a life-changing decision.

And you think it's going to change
for the better, obviously,

because this is something
you desperately want.

Yeah, it's something
that I've always wanted.

The NHS already performs over 6,500
bariatric procedures a year.

Jess's recovery is being overseen
by Professor David Kerrigan.

So, this is your first
post-op visit.

It is. After your operation.

How's it been? Fantastic.

At first, it was so painful, like,
the trapped wind was horrendous.

And then two weeks
after the operation,

I got my energy back

and could start being normal,
back to work and everything.

Now I'm starting to see a difference
here and everywhere else.

Everyone's noticing,
so that's fantastic.

This kind of period
of fairly rapid weight loss

is going to go on
for about six to nine months.

Yes. It does definitely start to
kind of plateau out and tail down,

and there's a small number of people
who do regain the weight, long-term.

Is there? About 15%, 1-5.

Why do they regain weight?

Is it that their discipline drops?

Yeah, I think it's because

this actually isn't a cheat,
it's hard work.

And I think what you have to do
to get a good long-term result is -

you have to change.

Following surgery, Jess can only eat
minuscule amounts of solids.

If she doesn't stick
to her nutritionist's instructions,

her stomach could stretch
and she could regain weight.

I think I'm ready to go onto
the softer foods stage. Yeah. OK.

Each bariatric operation costs
the NHS between £5,000 and £8,000.

There have been complaints that
it's not a fair use of resources.

People get very angry,

and thin people think that
they shouldn't be having surgery,

they should jolly well get on
with it and do it themselves.

I think it's all very well if
you're not in that situation to say,

"Well, just get off your backside
and exercise more and eat less."

That's fine
when you're somebody like me

who maybe needs to shift a stone,
but actually,

once your body goes beyond
a certain level of obesity,

it's a point of no return.

The NHS, at the moment,
spends £1 million an hour,

every single hour of every day,

just treating diabetes.

And these operations, we know,

can get rid of diabetes
in three quarters of patients

within two or three years
of having the surgery.

So you don't need a Nobel Prize
in Economics to work out

that this is actually something

that's very good
for the health service

in terms of saving it money
in the long-term.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye, Professor.

I wasn't sure what to make
of bariatric surgery.

For Dr Kerrigan,
it's an effective way

to reduce the cost of obesity
on the NHS.

For Jess, it seemed much more
about becoming who she wanted to be.

Oh, this is posh.

Do you have your ideal body image,
let's say?

I do know I've got a curvy figure,

because my waist goes in quite
a lot compared to my hips.

So, you know, it's like I'd love
to have the Beyonce-like curves.

I'd love to have that kind
of hourglass shape.

It's a devil of a job
getting out of your car!

By the time I was in my 20s,

I'd simply learned to cope
with being fat.

Things were clearly different now.

I wanted to know why.

Hello?

Hello! Nice to meet you.

Lovely to meet you.

Jess was taking me to see
her mother, Jill.

When Jess cracked on
doing this operation,

she said you weren't thrilled
at first. Not at first,

cos, as a parent,
obviously I was extremely worried.

And how did she convince you?

It's because it's what
she's always wanted.

And nobody else knows this

cos, on the outside,

Jessica is the most bubbliest,
smiliest, positive...

You should hear her
to all her friends.

All her friends are so tiny,
you know, really, really tiny.

And her friends would say,
"Oh, I look fat in this."

And Jessica's like,
"Well, I'd change it to that,"

because she wants them to look
their best, you know what I mean?

But on the inside,
Jessica's thinking,

"I wish I was like that."

You've obviously never had
a weight problem, I'm imagining. No.

Do you belong to a gym? No.
I don't exercise at all.

JILL LAUGHS

Right!

Sorry!

So did people ever comment on,

"Why is your daughter a big girl
when you're not?"

Jessica would say, "Something,
something, something, Mum,"

and people would go, "Mum?!"

That is hurtful, isn't it? Very.

Throughout your journey of life,

have you had
lots of nasty comments?

I was always so... aggressive
in personality

that people didn't dare,
because I would have punched them

or I would have said
something horrible.

But do you think also that society
has changed a lot, you know?

I think that young girls,
particularly,

think that they've got to look
a certain way

in order to be attractive
and acceptable. Yeah.

Now, that wasn't true
when I was growing up.

You could be whoever
you wanted to be. Yeah.

You know, I've just said,

"Well, this is me and tough shit
if you don't like it."

Yeah. I wish I could have had that,
or thought like that.

But when you're young, it's hard.

Jessica lives in a different era
now, doesn't she?

All her friends
are extremely skinny,

and they're striving
for the Instagram bodies.

And that's what
Jessica was up against.

I'll give you a hug. Thank you
so much. It was lovely.

Lovely to meet you.

You've taught me a lot.

Jess has a fixed picture
of herself, slim.

She believes that when she's this,
she will be happy

and she will have achieved
her dream.

But it's not an easy thing to do.

I'm concerned
for her mental peace of mind.

She might be OK.

The... The proof of the pudding.

Bariatric surgery might be
a short cut to healthy,

but I was curious if it could be
a short cut to happiness.

Jess's friend Sammy had bariatric
surgery nearly two years ago.

I wanted to see if it had made
her dreams come true.

I'm not sure
if that's the doorbell or not.

Hello!

Hello, I'm Miriam. Nice to meet you.

And you're Sammy, aren't you?
Yeah. Can I come in?

Yeah, of course. Thank you.

So you had the surgery
two years ago. Yeah.

And how much weight did it enable
you to lose up to now, say?

Eight and a half stone.

May I ask how much
you weighed before?

I was 16st eight.

So you lost half your body weight,
really? Yeah. More than half.

I've gained a stone back.

What about the... missing the food?

That's the hard bit.

In the beginning,
that was really, really hard

because with having
a gastric bypass,

it's the only one that comes with
a term called dumping syndrome.

So when you eat something
you shouldn't be eating,

like, for example, sugar...

It punishes you.

It punishes you bad.

My worst ever one was eating half
an After Eight mint.

I'd say about five minutes
after eating it,

my heart starts racing,

like, thumping really fast
as if I'd just done a marathon.

I started sweating.

I started with
a horrible stomach-ache.

And between where I sit at work
and the toilets is not far at all,

and I did not make it.

It was like projectile vomit.

Of half an After Eight.

In a way, you've got to have
some sort of willpower,

otherwise you're going to learn
the hard way like I did.

But you still are glad
that you took that step? Yeah.

Health-wise, yes,
but I have a lot of excess skin.

It's like I've lost the weight,
but the skin is still there.

I've not got it as bad
as a lot of other people

because I wasn't absolutely huge,

but with my legs,
you can see the lines.

Yeah, well,
I wouldn't bother about that.

But it's mainly my tummy.

See, I've got all this.

Gosh, you must have lost weight.
Crikey.

So when I have my tummy tuck,
they'll pull it all in.

So all this will be gone.

So that's quite a bit of skin
that's got to come off.

Yeah, all this.

There's a lot there to go.

I imagine that you don't like that,
you don't want that. No.

Can you show me
what's in the kitchen,

what you've got in the fridge?

Yes. I have, like, a bit of
an addiction to food shopping.

Christ! that is the fullest fridge
I have ever seen.

With bariatric surgery,

you do eat very small amounts,

but you eat so often.

A pack of chicken, this would
probably last me about four meals.

And in the beginning,

you have to follow
what's called the 20-20-20 rule,

which is where you take a
20p piece size of food,

you've got to chew it 20 times.
Swallow it.

Wait 20 seconds before you can
have your next piece,

which is again, another 20p
piece size of food. Blimey.

I know. It is a pain

and it's something
that's hard to get used to.

"Nothing... nothing tastes as good
as skinny feels"!

So your feelings
about your body are...?

It's a bit hard, really,

because with my gastric bypass,

unfortunately, one of the things
I have gained is body dysmorphia.

So some days I can get up
and I'll see...

..I'll see a little person
staring back at me.

But most days,
that's not what you see.

You see somebody just the same size

as what they were when they had
the surgery looking back at you.

It's something to do
with the rapid weight loss

that your brain hasn't caught up.

Do you notice that people
treat you differently now?

Sometimes, yeah.

Like, some people
are quite rude about it.

They're like, "Oh, so you just
took the easy way out."

Not everybody can be happy.
You can't please the world.

As long as you are.
Are you happy?

HESITANTLY: Yeah.

Once I've sorted the skin out,
maybe.

And once I've got my head around it.

Sammy just doesn't see
how little she is.

The brain doesn't catch up
with the body.

I had no idea
that the brain was so slow,

that it could reject what it sees.

I was still puzzled.

Before I left Sammy,

I wanted to find out whether
surgically shrinking her stomach

meant she was living out her dream
or her nightmare.

Hello. Hi.

I went for lunch with Sammy
and her son, Alfie.

How old are you, Alfie? Five.

I'm 78.

His face!

His mouth dropped open!

Can you show me some photos of what
you were like when you were fat?

Yeah, of course.

This is one.

God!

It's quite scary to look at.

Look at you!

I know. Mummy was fat, wasn't she?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Do you want the sausage?
Mummy can't eat it.

You can't eat it? Yes, please!

I can't eat sausage. There's too
much fat in it, it'll make me sick.

So this will be what I can eat.

I can't eat the bread.

So this is kind
of like what I don't...

Will you eat all of that bit
that's in the middle?

No, that'd be far too much.

She's got a lovely figure.

But I know that I would go
stark raving bonkers.

What you're left with
is this endlessly,

mind-bogglingly boring job

of having to slice little tiny bits
of chicken, buh!

And you never can have chocolate
and you can never have pasta.

It's not just paring down of food,
it's paring down of life.

And I didn't sign up for that.
Have you finished? Yeah, I'm full.

That was just a few tiny mouthfuls.

It seems to me that all the fun
has gone out of food.

Yeah.

So is it worth it?

Yeah. No, I see what it's worth
and I see the benefits.

Are you mentally prepared
to face another 40, 50 years?

Yeah. I think I'll be fine.

Pasta stupenda, grazie. Grazie.

God bless. Thank you very much.

Goodbye. Bye-bye. Bye!

It seems to me

that Sammy has achieved
the Holy Grail of a thin body,

but that's
only the beginning of the journey.

The pilgrimage to happiness
is going to take a lot longer.

I don't know if there's
any liberation possible.

We're trapped.

I'm trapped in fat.

And Sammy's trapped in thin.

Bariatric surgery was not for me.

But Sammy and Jess clearly believed
that, to transform your life,

you needed to transform your body.

While they were working
on it from the inside out,

it seemed there might be
a quicker way -

go from the outside
in with plastic surgery.

What bits would you like to zap off?

I'd like to zap off my belly,

some of my arse...

..and a bit of tit.

I think those are the areas
that are holding me back,

particularly the belly.

I avoid looking at it
when I get up in the morning.

Last year in the UK,

nearly 30,000 people had some form
of cosmetic surgery.

I wanted to discover how
a private plastic surgeon

could help the overweight
transform their lives.

I've come to see Mr MacQuillan.

I'll introduce you to me. Oh, right!

Hello! Pleased to meet you.
I'm Miriam Margolyes.

My name's Anthony.
How are you doing?

You caught me while I'm eating
a biscuit, I'm very sorry.

That's all right,
I'm glad you eat biscuits.

Biscuits are a bit
of a problem for me.

Everybody likes biscuits. Yeah.
Or at least most people do.

I've come to talk
about your speciality,

which is making people thinner.

If I can help people, I try.

Here is the magic door.

To help work out
surgical possibilities,

Anthony has a special machine.

Here we go.

It enables a client to see
themselves exactly as they are...

So if you give me
your dressing gown...

..to get a better idea
of what they could become.

Stand where you are for
a second, arms out to the side.

Doesn't have to be that much,
but just down to about there.

And it'll be a bright flash
in about ten seconds' time.

OK.

That's it.

That's it, is it?

If you pop your dressing gown
back on... Thank you.

We've now just got to wait
for the picture to process.

And what it's doing is, it's putting
the 96 individual images together

to make one big, 3D picture of you.

There we go.

I look like a sumo wrestler!

What this machine isn't
good at doing is picking up hair.

So it has a tendency
to give you a complete haircut.

We're quite lucky, actually, because
it doesn't like black cloth either.

There's a possibility
that when we spin you round,

you may have a hole
in your bottom or something.

You know what, I hope I have got
a hole in my bottom!

Yes, an additional hole
in your bottom.

Right, OK, so here we are.

Now, what you've got to remember is

it's not designed to be
a filtered image.

This is you as it is.

This has done nothing for my
self-confidence, I will tell you!

I didn't realise my arms
were so saggy under here,

you know, this bit.

What do you call
these flappy bits here?

People call them bingo wings.
Bingo wings? I've never heard that.

It's just excess skin
in the upper arm.

And I mean, these tits
could do with a hoist.

It's just uncomfortable
to look at yourself

and not like what you see.

I can push and tuck and...
Well, just make her half the size!

Well, OK. For a start.

So, liposuction, which will
basically reduce the volume here.

Oh, Christ! So let's go
for half a litre, all right?

That's all right, half a litre.

That's a bit of lipo there.

Now, we can go further,

but that would be a very,
very good result for you

and you probably might need
to combine it

with a little bit of dieting.

That is before weight training.

That is after weight training.

And a bit of Instagram.

Are people perhaps too much
concerned with what they look like?

That's a very difficult question.

Well, it is difficult for you
because part of your work

is involved in catering to people

who aren't satisfied
with their body image.

And I'm asking you, you know,
to cut your nose off, really,

which I shouldn't.

But I'm just wondering

if you feel that it's gone
too far, this thing.

I think there's a big pressure
these days on social media.

I think people do see themselves
differently than they did before

and perhaps not always with a very
realistic, you know, light on it.

Also, the whole pressure
in social media

of being fed images like, "This is
what Kim Kardashian looks like.

"This is what you must look like,"

people are feeling pressure
to sort of be driven

towards some sort of perfection

which actually, in real life,
in nature, doesn't exist.

And it's important to understand

what the limits
of what we can achieve are.

I think it's damaging
to try to foist on your body

the image that you've gleaned
from some other human being,

and then actually want
to carve your body up

to match the image.

Don't like that.

Tackling obesity surgically was not
a path I was prepared to travel.

I wanted a more natural alternative.

I'd found a man called Aeronn.

His response to being overweight

was to build himself
a new body without surgery.

Aeronn's a natural body-builder
who's transformed his body

through diet and exercise.

I was hoping that he could show
the way to the rest of us.

How are you? Are you Aeronn?
I am, yes.

I'm Miriam. Very nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

You're not what I was expecting.

Good!

What did you expect?

I thought I was going to see a big,
sort of beefy sort of type. Mm.

How tall are you?

Not very - 5'2" on a very good day.

I'm interested as to why you want
to have a muscular body.

Do you think being short
has made you... Most certainly.

..conscious of this sort of thing?
Yeah, I do.

I didn't want people
to look at me and think,

"Oh, there's a short guy."

I would have liked people
to look at me and say,

"There's a muscular guy."
Were you ever fat? Very. Yes. Yes.

When I was studying in university,
and at other periods in my life,

I have been really quite fat, yeah.

I was fat 25 weeks ago.

I lost 40lbs of body fat
to do this competition.

In the build-up to judgment,

Aeronn sculpts his physique

by dropping over 4st
through a strictly controlled diet.

So there's no fat with that,
is there?

According to the plan, yeah,
there's less than a gram of fat.

What's your fluid intake?

Today I am drinking
eight litres of water.

Eight litres?! Yes.

You must be pissing all day.
Very much. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll be back and to the toilet
quite a lot.

TOILET FLUSHES

I'm fascinated by it
because it's new to me,

but I can't quite see the magic yet.

Wow.

Don't you think your, um,

twingle is a bit loose?

A little bit, yes.

I think you need to...

Sort that. I have another pair.

We don't need anything popping out,
no, no, no. No, of course not.

Extraordinary.

What do you want to improve on?

For me, as part of always
being slightly heavier,

I actually have some loose skin
on my lower abdomen.

It doesn't shrink. Yeah. It doesn't.

And you can see quite clearly,
there's stretch marks on me.

I think it's quite empowering
for some people as well,

because someone might see
my physique

and think it's quite impressive.

But also, there are these
little imperfections as well.

And I kind of wear them
as much as everything else.

I can totally see
that this is therapeutic

for somebody
with a body image problem.

I mean, he's made himself
attractive to himself.

Many of the obese people I'd met
seem to agree with Aeronn.

If they could perfect their bodies,
they'd end up happy.

I was going to see Aeronn
at his competition.

If body perfection was the answer,

I was going to what should be
the happiest place on Earth -

Newport, home to the Welsh Natural
Bodybuilding Championships.

If you see Dave,
he'll get you weighed.

If everyone's dream of defeating
obesity comes to pass,

this is what the future
might look like -

brown and beard-free.

Hello! I like him without the beard,
don't you? Yes.

What is the thing
that's being applied to you?

It's a body-building stage tan,

so it gives you this lovely glow.

The gentleman who's applying...
Yes. Do you know him?

I've never met him before
in my life.

I saw him and I thought,

"This chap looks like a guy
that can apply some tan."

And you've got your tight knickers
on. Yes. That's good. Yes.

Are you getting nervous?
I feel excited.

Are you? Yeah. Well, good luck.

Can I come in?

What are you doing?

We call it pumping up. By pumping
up, it makes us look bigger.

So when we go on stage,
we're already... Bursting.

That's a good way of putting it.

The judging was about to begin.

APPLAUSE

COMPERE: Front double bicep,
front double bicep.

APPLAUSE

And give me your most muscular.

This is really
the ultimate scrutiny.

You can't hide.

It's "tan and go for it".

I was in a place where everybody
seemed to be approaching perfection.

Quarter turn to your right.

I was curious
whether they were all happy.

Why are you doing this?

HE PANTS

Body dysmorphia!

I feel like I have to for my own...

So that I feel good about myself.

Makes you feel good about yourself?
Yeah.

These are the teenagers now.

APPLAUSE

Side chest, any side.

Bless 'em!

Bartholomew was 16 and had made
himself into a teenage superhero.

Come on, remember,
these guys are teenagers!

CHEERING

But it wasn't enough to remove
all his insecurities.

Hello. Hello.
I want to ask you something.

Yeah. You said you suffered
from body dysmorphia.

I don't think it's something that's,
like... What is that? ..proven.

It's like you think you are small,
so you keep going to the gym.

But really, you're big.

Some people call it bigorexia,
cos you think you're small.

So your view of yourself
is not the view that I see,

because you're an EXCEPTIONALLY
handsome man. Thank you.

So do you think of yourself
as good looking? No.

I'll look in the mirror and I still
see things that I can improve.

What sort of things?

A classic teenager will want abs
and big arms.

Once you get those things,
you start thinking,

"OK, now I want a big chest.

"Now I want big legs,"
and stuff like that.

Why big? I think it's the idea
of being that alpha male,

the biggest guy in the room.

Well, what a ravishing young man.

I mean, he really is gorgeous.

And he's 16
and he's worried about his arms.

There's something wrong
with a society

where people worry about their arms.

Somehow today, even people
as perfect as Bartholemew

have got themselves trapped,

seemingly chasing
an unobtainable dream.

I'm trying to find out what people
think about body image,

and I wondered if men are able
to deal with it.

I don't think men deal with it
as well as women.

They don't? No. We've had it
for years and years,

and we've become accustomed to it.

But I think with the onset of
social media, Instagram, Facebook

and things like that, there's
more pressure for them to look

absolutely flawless and perfect.

So people try to achieve
flawlessness,

and it's not achievable.

The judgment was coming to an end.

The strange thing is
it makes me feel a bit sad.

I just feel
that it's all about externals.

I don't think externals matter,

and they do.

I'd like the body to be something

that people didn't have to work on
and so on.

But it's very sweet,

which I never thought body-building
was going to be.

Welsh overall champion 2019...

ANNOUNCEMENT DROWNED BY APPLAUSE

I was quite surprised
at the person who won.

Bless him, he cried.

He was so emotional about winning,

which is terribly touching,
actually,

but it's about obsession.

The obsession to lose weight,
I can understand.

The obsession to look like these
people did, I don't understand.

It's an accentuation
of the muscle before the mind,

and I'm afraid for me,
the mind has got to be paramount.

And I will say that
over and over again.

Which is why I'm allowed to be fat,
because my mind is not fat.

I'd come to realise that,

even if I grew 2ft taller
and dropped 5st,

my life wouldn't be
automatically transformed.

Perhaps I should stop blaming
my mother for making me fat

and re-evaluate.

That's Mummy and Daddy.

Daddy ate just as much as we did.

But he didn't balloon.

You know, this is the way the cookie
crumbled, straight into my mouth.

And I'm happy because
a lot of things in my life

have worked well for me.

I am loved.

I have a partner.

My parents love me.

My friends love me, and I love them.

And I think
that's what makes you happy.

It's... relationships are the key.

I think, you know, whether
you've got a size 50 or a size 20

or a size eight...

..it's who you are
that makes the difference.

The people I met made me worried
about our obsession

with social media.

It seems to have made it
hard to be happy

when everything
is focused on your body image.

It was Claudia,
my mini me's 11th birthday.

I decided to crash the party
to tell her what I'd learned.

Hello! Hello.

Who's a year older?

Not me!

Here's your present. Thank you!

And don't say anything
about how badly it's wrapped,

cos I'm not a wrapper!

I'm really bad at wrapping, too.

Do you know what it is?

Is it a towel? It is.

It's red, my favourite colour.
Your favourite colour.

Good, so that's basically a success.

Who... who slept in here?

We didn't sleep in there,
this is the common room.

Let me see if I can climb in.

The point is, I might never get out.

The most important thing in life
is to be confident

and to feel loved.

My best friend and my best friend.

And you don't care
what anybody looks like, do you?

No. You don't care that I'm fat,
do you?

No. No. Are you sure?
It's what's inside that counts.

It's what's inside. I think
that's wonderful, because...

Go on, get it in! Group hug!
..they care about you. Yes.

Isn't that wonderful? Yes.

You have inspired friendship.

When I saw her
in the common room with her mates...

Sorry if I've got my arse
in your face.

..and I knew she's confident
and she feels loved.

Oh! I made it!

She knows who she is,
and they know who she is.

Who's that horrible goblin?

It's a Mandrake.

Oh, of course it is!

Ha-ha! You should...
LAUGHTER

I should know that, shouldn't I?

She's not worried
when she's with them.

She feels good.

Oh! Aaah!

That's what I wanted to see
and what I hoped I'd see,

and I did.

There's no need to feel bad
about yourself,

ever,

because, look, you've got lovely
friends who really care about you,

and don't take too much notice
of... What did you call it?

Snap, Snapchat?

Snapchat,
there's Twitter, Facebook, erm,

Instagram and TikTok.

They're just...

..chickenshit.

Fern is deeply shocked.

LAUGHTER

Bye!

I don't like children,
usually, you know,

they're not my favourite thing,
but she's a little dear.

It was now seven months
since Jess had bariatric surgery

to cut her stomach in half.

I was acting in a play in London.

I heard that Jess was in town
and I want to have a chat with her.

I wonder if you'll recognise her.

I don't know. I've got a picture
of her on my phone,

and she's a pretty, pretty girl,

but, erm, definitely
on the large side.

That's our Jess.

That WAS our Jess, anyway, we'll see
what she gives us this morning.

I thought it would be quite nice
if we went on the stage

so she could have
a really dramatic reveal.

Bloody Ada!

Hello! Darling girl!

Hello. How are you?
I'm really well, how are you?

I'm going to give you a hug.

Oh!

That is fantastic.

Come round here, and,

I want to see a...

..the full body.

JESS LAUGHS

Yep, it's different!

Isn't that amazing?
It is, it really is.

How much weight have you lost?

In total, erm, I've lost 11st.

I was 23st...

You've lost half your body weight?
I've lost half my body weight.

I've lost a person and more, 11st.

I'm interested to know what are
the things that you can do now

that you couldn't do
when you were fat.

Going out shopping.
So this is amazing,

because I've never been able
to go to a normal clothes shop,

and it's, like, wow, is this real?

That's a lovely feeling, I bet.
Yeah, yeah.

And one of the main ones
would be exercise.

I've never, ever in my life, other
than when I was 11 to 12 years old,

been able to run.

Going out, socialising with friends,

to feel like I fit in, basically.

What are you after?
What's the end result?

It changes all the time. Does it?
It really, really does.

So the goalposts are moving?

Yeah, I mean, it's...

I'm... I'm happy where I am now.

Because what worries me is that

maybe you keep moving the goalposts

and you think,
"I want my lips done, or my tits."

I'm going to have them done.

What are you going to have done?

I'm going to have them enlarged.

Why would you take weight off
and then make them bigger?

Because of how big they were.

They was a double J,

whereas now it's like
they're hardly there any more.

But they're lovely!
Yeah, they're lovely in a bra.

So you are continuing
with operations, then?

With my boobs and
my... with my skin, yeah.

So you've got your boobs,
and your skin.

Is it going to stop there?

Yes, absolutely. Hmm.

Thank you for sharing all this.

Thank you very much, Miriam.

You're a bobby-dazzler. Thank you.

For Jess, it was absolutely right.

She knew what she wanted,
and she went out and got it.

But is it for everybody?

No. Is it for me? No.

I've got to make do with this,

this body that I've got,
and I'm doing all right so far.

When you're the age I am,

you don't see total solutions.

Partial solutions,

and I'm happy with that.

But this journey has changed me.

It's been amazingly interesting
to hear other people's stories,

see their struggles,
see their triumphs.

Losing weight may be one answer,

but the ideal thing is to look
in the mirror and like who you are.

It's not always easy,

and everything in the world
is pushing us

to change, to look like that person.

I don't think that's healthy.

I want to be able to look
in the mirror and like what I see,

and I don't always,
but I find that if I sit down,

and just look at my face,

about to here,

and after that, leave it alone.

Don't look down.