Miracle Beach (1992) - full transcript

["Flying Free" playing]

♪ Okay ♪

♪ So darkness is Your one companion ♪

♪ Silence is your Only friend ♪

♪ I’ll be glad To be your rooster ♪

♪ Yeah, now ♪

♪ Bring the morning in again ♪

♪ Come on, come on ♪

♪ Look at me ’Cause I’m rocking ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Look at me ’Cause I’m talking to you ♪



♪ Look at me ’Cause I’m flying ♪

♪ I’m telling you ♪

♪ I’m flying free ♪

♪ Come have a rocking time ♪

♪ I’m flying free ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I understand you ♪

♪ Pin up job in a straight jacket ♪

♪ And you’re dying To get out ♪

♪ Think of running in the darkness ♪

♪ Yeah, now ♪

♪ Places no one knows about ♪

♪ Come on, come on ♪

♪ Look at me ’Cause I’m rocking ♪



♪ Look at me ’Cause I’m talking to you ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Look at me ’Cause I’m flying ♪

♪ I’m telling you ♪

♪ I’m flying free ♪

♪ Come have a rocking time ♪

♪ I’m flying free ♪

♪ Come have a rocking time ♪

♪ I’m flying free ♪

Tahiti Cooler, a taste of paradise.

Boy, I love that commercial.

That girl, that girl... So...

Out of your league. I date girls like this.

I’m like a big bear. They love to snuggle up next to me.

Where are my French fries?

Listen, I’m gonna go check on Cindy.

See if she’s feeling any better.

Will you cover for me?

Did you clear with Charlie?

Well, I tried to, but, I couldn’t find his curly head anywhere.

These are good.

Yeah. Whatever, you bird.

Hi, Kim.

Hi, Scotty. How come you’re not at work?

Well, Cindy’s been a little sick.

I thought I’d get her some daisies to cheer her up.

Oh, that’s so sweet.

She’s a lucky girl.

I’m a lucky guy.

[Cindy] Oh, Charlie.

Those were the best three minutes of my life.

Oh, this is great. This is excellent.

Excellent form, both of you. I mean it.

I thought you were at work.

[Charlie] Yeah, well, he’s supposed to be.

I can explain everything.

Well, why don’t you start with the mysteries of the pyramids,

and do it on your way out the front door?

All right, that’s it, pal, you’re fired.

And don’t even bother to pick up your last check.

What a jerk.

Come on, Cindy, let’s get out of here.

[knock on the door]

Get out of my life!

Oh, hey, Murray, what’s up?

Your time. I’m tired of waiting for your rent.

I want you and your crap out of here in a half hour.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

All right, quiet down!

Quiet down, everyone!

All right, we have new assignments to give out.

Jeanie Peterson.

Jeanie Peterson!

Jeanie Peterson.

[all murmuring]

Has anyone seen Jeanie?

[Jeanie] Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I’m here!

You’re late.

My lamp wouldn’t start.

[all laughing]

You all find that funny?

[laughter stops]

[Jeanie] "Assignment Earth?"

Earth, sir?

I know what you’re gonna say, Jeanie.

Save it.

But, I thought Earth people were greedy and selfish,

and had given up on all their dreams.

But, apparently, things are starting to change down there.

Nuclear arms are out, democracy is in,

and they’re working awfully hard on this recycling thing.

So I’m supposed to go down there and verify all of this?

Think of it as a goodwill mission.

You could be the first one to help restore their confidence. Huh?

But, all the other genies that could do this, why...

Now, look. Look.

With a record like yours,

This is your last chance. You remember that?

You fail this time, you’re banished to your bottle forever.

Well, from what I’ve heard about Earth,

even a genie couldn’t do any good.

I don’t wanna hear any more about it.

And listen.

I’m gonna be watching you very closely

on this one, Jeanie. Huh?

["Ya Get What You Pay For " playing]

Dude, this is without question

the most righteous gig in the history of summer.

No doubt, we got to get Scotty definitely in on this.

That sucks about his girl, man.

How is that?

That’s fine. To the left a little, okay?

You know what, Lars? We should bring him to the party tonight.

Get him back in the saddle, if you know what I mean.

Yeah.

-[both] Busted! -[man] Haywood!

-Maybe we should bail. -[man] Stop it! You’re history.

Wait, wait. I don’t think this caddie stuff is for us.

Ladies, nice knowing you.

[piano music playing]

♪ I was born a single love ♪

♪ I have said To romance oh, no ♪

♪ I thought maybe I’m missing out ♪

♪ Care to see What couples are about ♪

♪ Just thought That I’d try it ♪

♪ And then I invited you home ♪

♪ You keep coming Back for more ♪

♪ I keep telling you Love’s a bore ♪

[Lars] Excuse me, please. Coming through.

Hey, buddy, where’s the bar?

Lars, I thought you said this was a beach gig.

I don’t know, dude, it looks like

the Chardonnay and Fahrvergnugen crowd.

Whoa, these knuckleheads are taking over.

I don’t recognize anybody.

Oh, look, there’s Scotty McKay.

You know Scotty?

[exhales deeply] Yeah, he used to do yard work for me.

Yeah, me too.

[both laughing]

I recognize a few people.

Ah, excuse me.

Are those Bugle Boy jeans you’re wearing?

[giggling]

Too bad that McKay kid is such a wise ass.

He did a great job on my lawn.

Sue thought he was terrific.

Same here. Robin always looked forward to him coming over.

I never catch that boy in my yard.

Another soda, please?

[clears throat]

You know, the Mayans used to pray to the sea.

They believed that the sea held some sort of magical power.

That’s great. Maybe it can make you magically disappear.

It’s very good. It’s very good.

I’m Scotty McKay. I just wanted to tell you that...

Uh, let me guess.

You want me to be the spokesperson

for your billion dollar company,

your Ferrari is parked just around the corner,

and you’d like to whisk me away

to a house in the hills to discuss the matter further.

Well, you know, I’d love to do all those things,

but, since I’m unemployed, broke and homeless,

would you settle for a quiet walk on the beach?

[door unlocking]

There you are.

-Hi. -Hi.

Look this party is out of control completely.

-Let’s get out of here. -Really?

I was just talking here with...

Scotty.

Whatever.

Loser.

Hi, will you go out with me? Thank you.

[Scotty humming]

Mac is right, man. Mac is right.

She’s out of my league.

Who is that guy? What has that guy got that I don’t got? Huh?

Now all I need is a job and money,

and muscles, and a house.

[exhales]

You’re the man. What do you think I need?

Okay.

The only thing you really need is a good blanket.

All I need is a good blanket.

That’s all I need.

Bye. All I need is a good blanket.

I wish, I really wish...

What I really wish is that I had a warm bed,

and a couple of babes.

Excuse me.

Does anyone know what time it is?

Let me check.

[moans]

It’s only 8:30.

Oh, goody, we can sleep a couple more hours.

[screaming]

[panting]

What’s going on here?

I don’t know.

I thought you said we could sleep in a couple more hours.

[siren wailing]

-Got to get out of here. -What?

[bells chiming]

[mystic] I’ll be right with you.

Wow.

A little.

Do you think that genies are real?

I think that if a person believes

in the power of the genie, then that power will be real.

Okay, what about magic lamps,

and three wishes, and all that stuff?

Depends on the genie.

[laughing wickedly]

But, it’s possible?

Young man, anything is possible.

Okay.

What was I thinking?

I have no idea.

Genies don’t know how to read thoughts.

Who are you?

I’m your genie and you are my master.

Your wish is my command.

Did the person from the Mystic shop

send you in here to hassle me?

No, you summoned me here when you rubbed my lamp.

You know, you could get arrested for being in here.

Doesn’t anyone on Earth believe in trust?

[scoffs]

Look, if you don’t believe me,

then why don’t you make another wish?

Okay, um...

You did that?

As you wish, Master.

You really are a genie.

As real as they come.

And...and...and you can grant me any wish I want?

Well, almost anything.

There are some rules we need to go over.

Okay, my favorite hat.

Wow! Wow.

Cute little genie bottle, let’s go!

Look at the lovely shells.

So I’m the only one that can see or, hear you?

That is right, Master.

Wow! Okay, all right.

My name is Scotty McKay. You, you can call me Scotty.

I can only address you as Master.

All right, well, what should I call you?

You can call me Jeanie.

Jeanie, Jeanie, okay. Of course, I knew that.

All right, this is the beach, and you’re invisible. Neat-o!

Here, have a nice cool Coke.

Wash that good old-fashioned hot dog down.

Matter of fact, that looks pretty good.

I’m gonna have one myself, see.

I don’t sell products I don’t endorse.

You know that’s just not American.

So, Master, tell me about yourself.

Well, I used to have this girlfriend,

but, she wasn’t what I was looking for.

What are you looking for?

That.

Who is that?

That’s the girl of my dreams.

Dana, hi.

Hi.

Nice suit.

Oh! Skippy, right?

[man] Dana.

Hi!

Obviously mistaking me for a jar of peanut butter.

She must have been a lot friendlier in your dreams.

She’s just what I’m looking for.

Wait a minute. Okay.

I wish that Dana were madly in love with me,

and I wish for it to happen right now.

No, no, no, no! Master, wait!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

So, what do you say we go back to your place

and you can tell me how you really feel about me?

What are you talking about?

I’m talking about love.

I’m talking about you and me together and forever.

I’m talking about maybe children.

I’m talking about you pouring water on my head.

[all laughing]

Can you believe this guy? Hah!

[all laughing]

-Now get out of here, Skippy. -Scotty.

-Like today. -Okay.

Hey! Off the court, dude!

Master, I was trying to tell you,

I couldn’t grant that wish.

Why?

We’re in the middle of a game, butt-head.

Genies can’t control matters of the heart.

Well, what can you do about it?

Well, I can kick your little ass, that’s what.

What?

Master, I can do anything you want,

but, don’t ask me to make someone fall in love with you.

All right, that’s it. I warned you.

I wish I was the best volleyball player in the world.

I’m sure you do. Now, off.

A hundred buck says I can kick your little butt

in a game of two-on-two.

Right. You and who else?

I don’t care, you pick him.

Okay.

Okay, you and the guy eating the hot dog over there.

Okay, you’re on.

All right, fine, smart ass, you’re on.

Okay, dumb butt you’re on. Let’s go.

["Up/Down/In/Out " playing]

Come on.

Come on, man!

[man] Don’t give up, man.

Let’s go.

It was your ball, man. Your ball.

Come on. Get the ball.

Damn it.

[grunts]

-Excuse me, Deborah. -It’s Dana.

Oh, right, sorry.

[breathing heavily]

[crowd cheering]

[Scotty] You can keep the hundred bucks.

Adrian! Adrian!

[man] All right.

She was definitely looking at me. Did you see that?

I noticed.

And what about the "Deborah" line?

Pretty smooth, huh?

Extremely smooth.

I got to tell the guys.

Wait!

Your friends actually live here?

Are you kidding? They can barely afford to rent the garage.

Dudes, our problems are solved.

The answer to all of your prayers

is standing right here next to me.

Soup, Lars, I’d like you to meet Jeanie, my personal genie.

She’ll give us whatever we want.

I... I don’t see anybody.

That’s because I’m the only one...

Wait a minute! Wait. Just wait... Okay.

Jeanie, I wish that Soup and Lars could see you too.

Excellent! Bitching pink babe!

Can we share her?

Jeanie, we need a big place. Like uh, like uh... Lars!

Like remember the beach club that we got kicked out of?

The one that burnt down. That one.

Scotty, that wasn’t my fault.

Dude, I’m aware of that. Something...

What! Oh, man!

[all howling]

Come on! Come on! Come on!

-[Lars] Boy! -[Soup] Oh, Jeanie, oh!

Oh, there’s the bar!

Would you look at this!

[Soup] Oh, man! Jeanie! Scotty!

Look at this!

[Scotty] Unbelievable!

[Scotty] Good stuff! This is nice.

Jeanie! Jeanie!

This is really nice!

-We’ve been here before! -[Soup] Yo!

-I recognize this... -Yo. Yo! Yo!

-[Scotty] Where’s Soup’s room? -Follow the woman in pink!

To the bedroom!

[80’s dance music plays]

[Lars] Jeanie!

Stop the music!

I’m gonna need a killer stereo

that only plays tunes by The Afterbirth.

Wait, wait...

Dude, wait, what am I thinking?

Why don’t I just have Afterbirth playing live in my room all the time?

[heavy metal music]

Afterbirth! Kings of rock!

Oh, Lars. Would you mind if we had a couple of drinks?

Dude, anything you want, man, anything.

[band member] All right.

So, Master, what would you like?

I don’t know. It’s got to be something that will impress Dana.

Something subtle, yet effective.

[Jeanie] So, what do you think?

[Scotty whistles]

Well, this is subtle, yet effective.

Do you think Dana will like it?

-I’m sure... -Oh, Jeanie, baby.

Listen, listen, listen. I was just sitting on my throne,

thinking about some of the things I’d like to have.

to the happiest place on Earth.

-[Soup] No, no, what? No, no, no. -Disneyland, dude.

-Laker tickets, good ones. -Yeah. Yeah.

[Lars] Front row ones. Next to Jack.

[Soup] No! The Laker bench!

[both] Next to Vlade!

Jeanie!

What’s the matter, Master? The tiki bar not big enough?

I need $10,000 cash.

Of course, Master.

Wow.

Master, you know, I really must warn you

about taking advantage of money.

-It’s a very powerful... -Come on, man, it’s your idea.

-Dangerous thing. -You ask her.

-You really must... -We’re gonna need some Jell-O.

Yeah, enough to fill up a swimming pool.

Howdy. Remember me? Last night?

You gave me the blanket.

Yeah. So what?

So I’ve run into a little luck and I want you to have this.

You can buy as many blankets as you want.

You don’t understand.

You can have whatever you want.

A house, a car, anything.

You don’t understand.

Well, what do you want?

I want to work!

Okay, okay. What if I offered you a job?

Substantial salary for an honest day’s work.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

What kind of job?

Okay, now, this may be a little weird.

Don’t freak out, but...

I’d like to introduce you to Jeanie.

[clears throat]

Damndest thing I ever saw.

So if you ever need anything,

Jeanie here, she’ll just zap it up for you.

Uh, well, if you don’t mind I’d just as soon work

for what’s coming to me, thank you.

Scott-O! What’s up!

Now that we’re no longer living like roaches,

and we’re definitely living large!

Yo! Let’s throw the dopest party known to mankind!

How about tonight?

Yo, who’s that?

Oh, guys, guys, this is Gus.

And if you need anything, Gus here, he’s your man.

Jeanie, would you show Gus to his room?

Thank you.

My man stinks!

Yeah, I wish that guy had a shower, dude.

Listen, guys, if this party is gonna happen,

we’re gonna have to get on the phone and call some women.

I don’t know about you guys,

but, I’m sick of the girls we’ve been chilling with.

We need something new.

Something different.

Something like that.

[announcer] Welcoming the Miss International...

Jackpot!

Worldly betties!

[announcer on TV] Women from all over the world are arriving

for the Miss International beauty pageant

to be held all this weekend downtown at the sports arena.

These 25 beautiful finalists will be competing

in a number of categories as well as sampling

the culture and nightlife here in Southern California.

Go to it, dude.

Uh, Jeanie. I wish that Soup and Lars were in charge

of introducing the contestants to the culture and nightlife of Southern California.

In a late change of plans,

the swimsuit competition is being moved

to Number One Beachfront Lane,

where a kick-off reception is being held

for the contestants tonight at the stately beachfront residence

of Duncan, Haywood and their good friend Scotty McKay.

Is that it?

Uh, that’s it.

Let’s take one more look at these lovely diplomats

before returning to the studio for the weather.

[man] Testing one.

[Scotty] This is gonna be great.

Is everything okay, Master?

Everything’s perfect.

It’s a wonderful thing, what you’re doing with Gus.

Thanks. Is, uh... Is Dana set?

Yes, Gus just went to pick her up.

He’s gonna blow her away.

[doorbell rings]

Can I help you?

Your presence has been requested

at the lodgment of Mr. Scotty McKay

where a reception is being held in your honor.

Is this a joke?

No.

In fact, the gathering is commencing as we speak.

Mr. McKay thought that you might look quite stunning in this.

Um, who’s giving this party again?

Mr. Scotty McKay?

The volleyball kid from yesterday?

Yes, I believe so.

Just a minute.

Miss Chile.

Germany.

Miss Holland.

Hey, Miss Brazil.

Hey, hey. Ladies, ladies. Hey, hey!

Miss Iraq, Miss Kuwait, just chill, all right?

Could you leave that stuff at home?

Hey, go inside and have a nice time.

Take it easy. Israel!

[Lars] Miss Greenland.

Miss Siberia.

Dude. Look out for Miss Siberia.

Frigid, huh?

Totally glacial.

Hey.

How do I look?

-Quite good, sir! -Thank you.

All right!

Welcome!

How was your ride?

Wonderful, thank you.

You look great.

Hey! Fancy meeting you here! Love that commercial.

[giggles]

Well...

[Lars] So when Maggie finally called back,

I told her, I can’t support any economic sanctions.

So what are your views on the Queen?

Oh, Queen? Hey, Kenny, play something by Queen.

["No Caught Inna Bumba" playing]

So, you’ve been to Canada before?

Been to Canada? Jeez, I even know the Canadian alphabet.

-Wanna hear? -Yes.

A, eh, B, eh.

Jeanie, this is great. Thanks for taking care of me.

I really appreciate it.

It’s my job.

Anyway, it’s easy when someone has such a romantic dream.

You mean, you don’t enjoy granting those wishes for Soup and Lars?

I didn’t say that.

You really are an angel, you know that?

No, I’m not, I’m a genie.

[Lars] Anyway, I told Gorbachecks on the phone,

"Dude, I can’t support any political sanctions

against the country of Bulgearea."

[laughs]

-Bulljarea? -Bulgaria.

Oh, I knew that.

Oh, my goodness! I can’t believe he’s here!

Who’s here?

The point is, if you’re gonna work that hard on a tan,

let me look at your shoulder.

[Dana] Donald Burbank.

The movie producer.

Are you serious?

Sure, we grew up together.

Really?

Yeah. Come on.

Scotty! Well, son of a gun.

How are you?

Good. Very good.

Boy, it seems like only yesterday

that we were stealing the hubcaps off

of old man Goddy’s Cadillac?

Those were the days, weren’t they?

Donald, this is my good friend, Dana Stanford.

This is Donald Burbank.

Scott, people are trying to set Lars on fire.

I know you.

You’re the cooler girl.

That is great stuff.

Thank you.

Just great stuff.

So, call my office next week, please.

Okay?

Lars! This is a party like you read about.

Dude, you cannot have a bad time at this party.

Whoa. Wait a minute.

Miss Japan, you must be at the wrong party.

See, there’s nothing but, fun allowed here.

I’m sorry. I’m just very nervous

about the singing competition next week.

I’ve taken lessons since I was a little girl,

and I’m terrible. I can’t let my family down.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You’re underestimating yourself.

See, the air here in the States

lends itself perfectly to bad Japanese singing, right, Lars?

-Yeah! -Really?

Go out there and knock them dead!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just get up there and just blow them away!

[both] Jeanie!

[soothing music]

Scotty, what exactly is it that you do?

Well, I could tell you, but, I’d have to kill you.

[laughs]

Well, actually, I have a billion dollar company,

and a Ferrari, and a house in the hills.

Very funny.

I’d like to propose a toast.

To what?

To...

All of our wishes coming true.

[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Miss Japan.

["Move To The Music" playing]

♪ Do you want to party And shake your body ♪

♪ Move to the rhythm And don’t stop grooving ♪

♪ I hear music That’s when I lose it ♪

♪ I don’t choose it It’s in my system ♪

Wow!

Guys, that’ll be all for tonight. Thank you.

[knock on the door]

I’m just gonna get that.

Hey, Scott-O. This is Heidi.

She’s gonna bum out big time if you can’t teach the Afterbirth

some righteous yodeling tunes.

Yo! And this is Miss Bermuda Triangle.

Just give them whatever they want.

Master, you’re not planning on sleeping with her tonight, are you?

Jeanie, my wish of wishes is about to come true.

But, you told me you didn’t want this thing to be a one night stand.

I lied.

But, don’t you see? If you move too fast, she won’t respect you.

So, how is it going?

Great! Master’s getting his wish.

I was talking about you.

My only concern is for my master.

I see.

Well, you need anything, you let me know, all right?

Okay.

[sighs]

I saw Dana leave this morning.

Yeah, we had a great time. She was particularly fond of the hot wax,

while I was rather partial to the pasta noodle bondage games.

Relax, nothing happened.

But, I thought she was in your room all night.

Yeah, but, I was sleeping on the floor

with the Manchester Jazz Quartet.

Nothing happened with them, either.

Anyway, I was thinking about this all night,

and if Dana is gonna fall in love with me,

I’m gonna need a whole new image.

Master, I don’t think you need a new image.

I mean, if she really cares about you.

I mean, don’t you think she’d see that?

I think you should just be yourself and see what happens.

I tried that. Remember Skippy?

Jeanie, I want Dana to feel like she’s in a whirlwind

every moment she’s with me.

Well, we can do that,

but, I just think you should hold off on the moves

until she knows that, you know, she really cares about you.

Okay, but, can we still do the whirlwind part?

[chuckles]

Of course, Master.

Yes! Thank you.

And, so now that you’re an expert on the classics,

let me show you something more contemporary.

Jeanie, this art, it speaks to me.

It’s black and white, it’s racial without being racist.

It...

Why is it ripped in the middle?

Okay. Chicken Cortez

Napkin.

All right. That’s poultry and pasta.

Le Chateau Sauvignon.

Wrong. Try again.

No, I’m sure of it, le Chateau Sauvignon.

Who is the expert here?

[Scotty] You are. Okay.

Oh, I know. Mont Blanc Chablis.

Yes! See, you’re getting it.

Thank you. Give me another one.

Come on.

Um...

Meat! Talk to me about meat. Meat! Red, juicy meat.

The meat of love. Meats and reds. That’s what you need...

Hi.

[stuttering] I’m rehearsing for a mayonnaise commercial.

[laughs]

Sorry. I’m not very good at this.

Okay, okay, okay. Just don’t think about it.

Just let it happen, okay? Okay?

Now, now, close your eyes, let’s try it again.

You know, the song isn’t over.

You know what, you got it.

-Okay. -Let’s go.

All right.

Well, that’s very nice,

but, I think that the Paristrous Cabernet 1968

chilled to just three degrees below room temperature

should complement the flavor a little bit nicer, thank you.

Very good. Actually quite an excellent choice.

You’re incredible, Scotty.

Oh, come on.

No, I’m serious. You critiqued every piece of art

in the museum this afternoon.

And now we’re dining at the smartest restaurant in town.

And the night has only begun.

Master, what did we decide about this?

Come on, I really want to.

Well, believe me, so do I.

But, I can’t, I can’t.

Sure you can.

No, Dana, I can’t.

Well, what’s the matter?

I don’t feel right about it. I don’t feel right about it.

Okay, 15 bingo sets, you got it.

This is ridiculous.

You’re doing the right thing.

Did you see the way she looked at me back there?

She must think I have a disease or, something.

Master, she looks at you that way because you’re special.

[scoffs]

It’s going beautifully. Trust me.

I wonder what they wanted with the bingo sets?

They scare me.

Get ready. B 9, that’s B 9.

I won! I won! I won!

[all cheering]

I can’t believe I won!

[both] Bingo!

We lust for bingo!

Play from your heart, like this.

Thanks, Gus.

Popcorn?

Thanks.

You know, Jeanie, you’re a lot more than a genie to me.

You’re also a good friend.

Thanks, Master.

I love when you do that.

I found the girl of my dreams.

And I have you to thank for it. Good night.

Chopper’s on its way. You’ll be out of here in no time.

How did you find me?

It was your cologne.

[man] Cut! Excellent! Dana, terrific day, terrific.

Isn’t she incredible?

I’ll be right back.

Scotty? Hey, hot damn. How you doing?

Man, listen, can I borrow her for a sec?

-Sure, go ahead. -Okay.

Hey, remember the time we took the Mahoney twins

up to that cabin in Big Sur? That was some caper, huh?

Mahoney twins?

Jeanie. Jeanie?

[Benjamin] Mr. Burbank. Mr. Burbank.

Yes, what do you want, bozo?

I finished that idea I was looking at.

The Italian boxer who gets sent back to the past to murder the future...

Yeah, yeah, that’s it.

I hate it, it’s stupid, you’re stupid.

Burbank!

Sir, I thought you were at the studio.

Burbank, I am the studio.

I want that building. Write it off to the Hudson Two budget.

Burbank, why are you anywhere?

Well, I was talking to Mr. Benjamin about his idea and...

The one about the Italian boxer?

Yeah, yeah, that’s it.

I love it!

Oh, yeah, me too. Our idea is brilliant.

I liked it from the very first. Here, have some money.

I’ll give you this and my gas card,

you can fill your tank up.

Here you go, Price Club. You’ve heard of that.

Knock yourself out. Okay. Thank you

I’ve been hoping I’d get a chance to work with you for a long time now.

Yes.

I think we can do great things together.

I think so, too.

Could you help with this?

It seems to be a little stuck.

My goodness.

Guess what?

Donald wants me to come in next week for a screen test.

That’s great, Dana, I’m sure you’ll do well.

And I owe it all to you for introducing us.

Dinner tonight? My place?

I don’t know. You sure you don’t wanna have dinner with Donald?

Are you kidding, Scotty?

Well, that old fossil couldn’t even make bat boy in your league.

Lars! Brain dead! The weather is bad, there’s no waves.

What are we doing out here?

Just shut up, all right? Kenny! Dude!

I’m so glad you could make it, man. Check it out.

It’s a day of judgment, man.

I want you to go out there and do me proud.

Well, is there any way of doing this

without actually going into the water?

No, it’s kind of, part of the deal, you got to...

Right.

All right, Kenny!

Okay, Kenny. Next step

is to wait for that perfect wave.

Jeanie, I’ve been thinking about this all day,

and I know that your plans for Dana and I have worked great,

but, I’ve decided it is time to go for it.

It still might be a little early.

The timing is right, I’m sure of it.

Master, are you sure that her feelings for you are genuine?

Of course. Did you see her today? It was like magic.

Okay. When are you planning on making your move?

Tonight, at her place.

Oh, the guys need some waves, Jeanie.

Lars, is my hair actually going to get wet?

[screaming]

So, do you have a strategy

or are you just planning to wing it with her?

I’m glad you asked that.

’Cause that is actually an excellent question.

I thought that after dinner,

we’d have a couple of glasses of wine,

and then I’d give her a really sensual massage.

And you want me to make you

the best masseuse in the world, right?

Exactly.

Well, I can make you a great masseuse,

but, you’re still gonna have to practice.

Practice when? I want this to happen tonight.

I know, I’m about the same age

and about the same build as Dana...

You can practice on me.

Massage away, Master.

You really think this will work?

Definitely. Your fingers are magic, Scotty.

You know, that’s the first time you ever called me Scotty.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.

It’s okay, it’s okay.

Anything’s better than Master.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...

Scotty, wait. It’s okay, really.

Scotty, you don’t have to leave.

Okay. I got to go.

Scotty.

So, where are we headed tonight?

Are you sure? I mean, on your big night?

What if you need something?

This is definitely a situation I can handle on my own.

Don’t wait up.

Hello.

[man on TV] At last, we can be together.

[woman on TV] Forever.

[man on TV] I love you.

And I love you.

You don’t have to hate me because I have beautiful hair.

I don’t, I hate you because you’re a conniving sleaze bag.

You can have beautiful hair, too.

La Femme Sauvage. Just try it for a month.

Who needs men?

[muffled] I hate this!

You know, Dana, you feel a little tense.

Don’t tell me you give the world’s greatest massage.

Let’s just say, I wish I did.

[gun fire on TV]

...Ignoring the detour.

[woman screaming]

Cool. Clippers.

[announcer] Gary Grant brings the ball up three on two

and he throws the ball away again.

Coach Schuler is not pleased. He certainly isn’t.

Oh, come on!

...the ball to Charles Smith who goes up for the shot

and he is rejected by Reggie Lewis.

Another one and another...

I thought Scotty needed help! This isn’t the kind of night

we expected from Gary Grant. Young superstar...

Gary, Gary, we need a lift here.

Forget all that perimeter crap.

I want you throwing bows,

and then driving strong to the hull, got it?

Got it!

Well, then go get them!

[announcer] McHale drives a baseline, puts up a jump,

rejected by Charles Smith. Out to Ken Norman who pushes it forward to Gary Grant,

from out of nowhere.

Slam dunk, Gary Grant. Oh, my, time out, Celtics.

Could you help with this?

You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.

Help you out of these?

Just give them a tug.

Velcro underwear?

Finally.

Mom?

Whatever happened to Jodi Buxbombe from the 8th grade?

I really liked her.

[exclaims in disgust]

Mac!

I told you she was out of your league!

You want me to take over from here?

-Grandma! -Don’t forget

to wash your hands when you’re through.

Yuck!

Well, hi!

Hi.

Young lady...

Do you at all realize what could possibly happen to you

if you continue to ignore the genie regulations?

But, I had to do it.

He was gonna sleep with her!

No, no, I’m sorry.

Genies are not permitted to interfere with their master’s lives

unless they’re instructed to do so.

I’m trying to save him from getting hurt.

There are certain rules, Jeanie, and you’re forbidden to interfere!

But, I love him!

Does he love you?

-Well, that depends. -Depends?

It’s a simple question, Jeanie. Does he love you?

I’m sure he does, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Oh, oh, oh.

You know the rules, Jeanie.

Unless he professes his love for you, you are duty-bound

to grant him everything he wishes!

Don’t start with the tears, now.

I don’t like that.

Am I clear on this?

Yes, sir.

Good.

[sighs]

I hope you realize what happens to you next time.

If this happens again,

do you know that you lose your powers

and you’re banished to your lamp for all eternity?

Yes, yes, that, you can cry over.

[announcer] The swimsuit competition will begin in two hours.

I don’t know, Soup. I don’t think that Miss Uruguay’s

even gonna fit into a 34DD, man.

Oh, she’s got a huge personality.

Do you like that? You can keep it.

Take care of Miss Great Britain’s, I’m gonna...

OK, all right, all right, long, silky great hair,

and light golden skin.

Let’s put her in a light top

with a little bow to cover that mole she has, huh? What do you think?

So how was last night?

I decided that the timing wasn’t really right after all.

Are you gonna see her today?

She’s with her sister.

At least, that’s what she told me.

Can you believe that? After she told me last night

about how I was everything to her?

Scotty, a girl like that is never gonna settle down with one guy.

What should I do?

I think you should try and find someone else.

You know, I mean,

love isn’t something that you look for.

It just happens.

Maybe you’re right.

Unless...

Unless what?

Unless I can show her that two can play at that game,

and she just might lose me.

What are you talking about?

I’m talking about making her jealous.

How?

With another girl.

Now, if I could just find some girl that wouldn’t mind

standing in as my girlfriend.

You?

Why not?

I wouldn’t wanna use you like that.

Oh, come on, what are genies for?

All right. I wish you were visible.

Bye, darling.

Scotty. Hi.

Your sister’s cute.

She’s a little masculine for my taste.

Look, Scotty, I know what you’re thinking

-and it’s all totally... -It’s all right, Dana,

I understand.

Really?

-Really. -Hi.

I’m Jeanie. You can call me Jen.

And how come I haven’t seen you around here before?

Oh, Scotty keeps me pretty bottled up.

[both laughing]

If you don’t mind, I’d like to have a few words with Scotty in private.

Oh, of course, sweetie.

Don’t be too late now, sugar.

Okay.

Okay, you win. I won’t see him anymore.

Who was he?

He’s just an old boyfriend. It’s over. It’s over.

Where did you find that?

She’s an old friend.

We’re gonna go over to the beach club

and watch the competition, you wanna come?

No, I don’t think so.

Of which you could be a contestant.

Oh, come on.

No, really.

Well, all right.

Okay.

[announcer] Here they are, ladies and gentlemen, from all over the world,

the Miss International beauty contestants.

[crowd cheering and howling]

[Soup] Excuse me, please, excuse me, judges.

-[Lars] Sorry. -Judges, judges.

[Sure Looks Good To Me plays]

Beautiful betties as far as the eye can see.

Miss Brazil, she’s...

[speaking Spanish]

Who’s this girl? She’s not on the list.

I know that face.

Jeanie!

It’s Jeanie!

[both] That’s our genie!

Jeanie!

-She’s cute. -What!

Take one more good look at the six finalists, ladies and gentlemen,

’cause the judges have made their decision.

[crowd cheering and applauding]

And the winner of this year’s

Miss International swimsuit competition is

Miss Fantasy-land, Jeanie Peterson.

[all cheering]

Hey. Way to go, Jeanie.

[crowd cheering wildly]

Jeanie! Jeanie!

Jeanie! Jeanie!

Jeanie, get down from there. Come on. What are you doing?

What was that all about?

I thought you wanted me to go to the contest.

Not to be in it.

Why are you still visible?

You never wished me back.

Well, I wish you were back the way you were. God.

Your wish is my command, Master.

Good, you know, I don’t get it.

One minute, you’re helping me to get Dana to commit

her faithfulness to me, the next minute,

you’re acting like this lunatic.

Do you really think she’ll ever be faithful to you?

Hey, why wouldn’t she be faithful to me?

It’s not her style.

How do you know?

She wears Velcro panties.

So...

You were there. You were there, weren’t you?

Weren’t you? Answer me!

I was just trying to keep you from getting hurt.

Tonight is a very special night for Dana and me.

I don’t want you to grant me any more wishes.

I don’t even want you hear me, do you understand?

No more wishes, no more tricks.

I will handle this evening alone, you got it?

Yes, Master.

Good, good.

I think you know why I’m here.

Your banishment begins tonight at midnight.

Another genie will be assigned to Scotty at that time.

You did it yourself, young lady. I warned you.

[crying]

Darling, I don’t think we’ll be able to go ice fishing this time of year.

Isn’t there anything you can do?

Where’s Jeanie?

She is in her lamp.

Jeanie! Babe!

You got to pull off the ultimate wish for us!

I’m afraid Jeanie’s not gonna be granting

any wishes tonight.

What? Why?

She’s in deep trouble with the genie people

and she’s being sent back.

Wait, but, what about our wishes? We need her now.

Yeah, yeah, the girls are waiting.

Well, I guess you’re gonna have to ask the new genie,

who should be here about midnight.

New genie? Cool.

We’ll be out on the beach getting the bait ready.

I’ll be right back. Could you get this for me?

Thanks.

The water is still warm.

Darling, trust me.

You’ll be needing your ice skates in 15 minutes.

Okay, okay ladies, don’t panic.

In the meantime, I wanna introduce you to somebody.

Ladies, bait. Bait, ladies.

[girls exclaiming in disgust]

[sniffling]

[soft ballad plays]

♪ A kiss of moonlight On your face ♪

♪ While teardrops Fill my eyes ♪

♪ Has this love Made me blind ♪

♪ Your eyes still hold me ♪

Well, Scotty, that’s very cute.

I’ve been waiting for this.

♪ If I had the chance ♪

♪ I would never walk again ♪

♪ Without you by my side ♪

Tonight, all of your wishes will come true.

♪ I can’t believe That you are real ♪

♪ I’m waking from a dream ♪

♪ I can’t believe The way I feel ♪

♪ Could this be What it seems ♪

♪ Into another’s eyes ♪

♪ I can only promise you ♪

♪ I’ll love you for all time ♪

♪ I can’t believe That you are real ♪

♪ I’m waking from a dream ♪

♪ I can’t believe The way I feel ♪

♪ Could this be What it seems ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

-You know what, Dana? -What?

What?

Where are you going?

I have a dance to finish.

You can’t walk out on me.

Do know how many men would kill to be here with me right now?

Well, if I see any on the way up,

I’ll tell them to take a number.

So, did you get your big wish?

No, I need to talk to Jeanie about that.

I just spoke to Jeanie. She could be gone by now.

Why don’t you just wait and talk to your new genie.

New genie? What new genie?

[Lars] Okay, listen up,

you awesomely beautiful, worldly nectar babes.

In order to capture the underwater sea creatures,

you must entice them by song.

-How much time do I have? -About eight minutes.

I hope you two make it.

I’ll never forget the time in the third grade

you put the gardener snake in Miss Crabtree’s desk.

Yeah, yeah.

Donald, up here.

Yeah.

I’m gonna need a lot of energy for about half an hour.

After that, I don’t care.

-Stinger? -Yeah, I hope to.

And you must bring them in ever so slowly

or the only sea creatures you’ll be partying with

will be at the Red Lobster.

[girls exclaiming]

Hey, what are you doing, Scotty?

We get a new genie at midnight.

I don’t want a new genie, I want my genie.

But, she won’t be able to grant us any more wishes!

Give it back. Give it back!

Hello! Help!

Give it up, Scott.

-Mine! -Give it up!

-No! -[Gus] Hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[knock at the door]

[Scotty] Hi, remember me from the other day?

I asked you about genies?

-Yes. -Yeah, well, I...

Hello? Hello?

What’s the problem now?

Okay, I wished for my genie

not to be able to hear me for the rest of the night

but, now, I have something to tell her.

Look.

In two minutes, it will be officially tomorrow.

Why don’t you just wait and tell her then?

No. Because, at midnight,

she’s being replaced by a new genie

and banished to her bottle for interfering with my wishes.

So say what you have to say

to the new genie after midnight.

No, no.

I don’t wanna say it to the new genie.

I was so blind

that I thought I wanted to say it to someone else,

but, all along, it was my genie that I wanted to say it to.

What can I do?

Just say what you have to say. It’s that simple.

But, she can’t hear me.

She can.

Believe me.

You realize that if you say

what you have to say to a genie,

they immediately lose all their power

and become as normal as you or, I.

And you lose everything that was granted to you

or anyone else since you found her.

I do?

Scott-O! The club, the women, my sex life!

[Lars] The 10-foot pitching tubes, dude.

Five seconds to midnight.

Jeanie, I love you.

[Jeanie] What did you say?

I said, "Jeanie, I love you."

I love you, too, Scotty.

I wish that we could live happily ever after.

I’m sorry, I forgot, no more wishes.

I can still make that wish come true.

[Dana laughing]

[both] Beach patrol! Break it up!

Now, wait a minute.

This is a private beach club. I’m a guest.

Yeah. Come on, missy, the sun’s almost up.

Why don’t you join us at a place we call Club Downtown?

This is Scotty McKay’s residence.

And he and I are close personal friends.

You tell him, Donald. You grew up with him.

-Scotty who? -Yeah. Yeah.

Tell it to Wapner.

-Let’s go, miss. -Scotty is...

-Donald. -I don’t know a Scotty.

Thanks for the tip, mister.

No problem, officer.

Just trying to keep the beaches clean.

[laughing]

["Up/Down/In/Out" playing]

["Flying Free" playing]