Minutemen (2008) - full transcript

HOW'S MY HAIR?

GOOD. MINE?

SOLID.

Both: SCORCH!

FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL,
VIRG.

WE FINALLY MADE
THE BIG TIME.

FOOTBALL GAMES,
FREE PERIODS...

CHICKS.

DUDE, YOU GOT
A BAT IN THE CAVE.

HUH?

BOOGIE FEVER.



[GIGGLING]

AND THAT WAS
JUST A TEST.

HAD IT BEEN
AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY,
HOWEVER...

OOH. HEY. HEY.

OHH. THEIR FIRST
HIGH SCHOOL FIGHT.

MY BOYS ARE GROWING UP
SO FAST.

WHERE DOES
THE TIME GO?

WHO CARES ABOUT
OUR PAST, GUYS?

ALL I'M THINKING ABOUT
IS MY SOCIAL FUTURE.

WELL, I DON'T WANT
ANYTHING TO CHANGE.

I GOT MY TWO BEST GUYS
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

I'M YOUR FAVORITE,
THOUGH, RIGHT?

IT'S OK.
YOU CAN ADMIT IT.

HE'S MAN ENOUGH
TO TAKE IT.



OH, HO!
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU TALKED ME INTO
TRYING OUT FOR CHEERLEADING.

YOU'LL DO FINE!

IT'S HIM
I'M WORRIED ABOUT.

HE'S ALL IN FULL
FREAK MODE ABOUT
FOOTBALL TRYOUTS.

DON'T WORRY,
THOUGH, BRO,

I'LL BE THERE
FOR MORAL SUPPORT.

YOU MEAN TO GOOF AROUND.

EXACTLY.

VIRGIL,
THIS IS SERIOUS.

YOU'D BETTER NOT
EMBARRASS ME.

D-ROCK, I NEVER TRY
TO EMBARRASS YOU.

IT JUST WORKS OUT
THAT WAY.

[LAUGHING]

Man: LET'S GO!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

FIRST, A LITTLE BOOMBAH.

[LAUGHTER]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

RELAX, BEAUGARD.

BE THE BALL.
BE THE BALL.

[GIRLS CHANTING CHEERS]

[LAUGHTER]

Virgil:
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

I'LL SEE YOU GUYS
LATER.

[SIGH]

OK. THAT'S ENOUGH
FOR TODAY.

WAIT, COACH.
I CAN DO THIS.

BRO, WE GOT TO
REST YOUR ARM.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[ENGINE BACKFIRING]

WHAT IS THAT?

Boy: COMING THROUGH!

AAH! AAH!

COMING THROUGH!
I CAN'T CONTROL IT!

OH, I'M REALLY SORRY!

LOOK OUT!

WHOA!

[YELLING]

LOOK OUT!

AAH! AAH!

LOOK OUT! AAH!

[GIRLS SCREAMING]

POM-POMS!

LOOK OUT!

EXCUSE ME!

HE'S CHEWING UP
MY FIELD!

WHOA!

HEY, D-ROCK,
ISN'T THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR?

YEAH--CHARLIE TUTTLE.

YEAH. HE'S THIS KID
IN OUR CLASS WHO'S,
LIKE, 9 YEARS OLD.

THEY SKIPPED HIM
A BUNCH OF GRADES

BECAUSE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
SOME KIND OF GENIUS.

AAH!

OH, YEAH,
A REAL EINSTEIN.

GET OFF OF MY FIELD!
RIGHT NOW!

STUPID DORK'S
GOING DOWN.

HEY, DUDE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HE'S GOING AWAY.
JUST IGNORE HIM.

OH!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

NOW, THAT'S SOME ACCURACY.

NICE PLANT!

WHOA!

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

Virgil: COME ON!
GIVE HIM A BREAK!

HEY! HEY! GUYS!
HEY! COME ON!

WAIT. DEREK!

DEREK, YOU WANT TO
JUMP IN, THAT'S COOL.

DEREK. DEREK!

[PLAYERS CHEERING]

Charlie: PUT ME DOWN!
PUT ME DOWN!

GOOD THROW!

ALL RIGHT, DEREK.
NICE SHOT.

THANKS FOR
STICKING UP FOR ME.

I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT HOW IT TURNED OUT.

PLEASE TELL ME
I DON'T LOOK
AS RIDICULOUS

AS YOU DO.

NOT THAT BAD, REALLY.

THAT'S, UH...
THAT'S A NICE RED ON YOU.

WELL, I'M CHARLIE TUTTLE.

VIRGIL FOX.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

[SIGH]

SO...

WHAT'S THE STORY WITH
THAT ROCKET CART THING?

I ALWAYS GET A HARD TIME
ON THE BUS,

AND I HYPOTHESIZED
THAT A ROCKET-PROPULSION
ALL-TERRAIN CAR

WOULD HELP ME
AVOID EMBARRASSMENT.

UH-HUH.

YEAH.

AND HOW'S THAT
WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

IT'S WORKING GREAT.

MY EMOTION MODULATOR
ACTUALLY ALLOWS ME

TO UNDERSTAND WHAT
ALBERT FELINESTEIN

IS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE
WITH HIS VARIOUS MEOWS.

ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

Boy: HEY, WHAT'S UP,
DEREK?

Different boy:
HEY, GREAT
TO SEE YOU, MAN.

VIRGIL? UH, VIRGIL?

HEY, EARTH TO VIRGIL.

VIRG!
DON'T YOU THINK, VIRGIL?

VIRGIL,
AREN'T YOU EXCITED?

YES...CHARLIE,
I'M THRILLED THAT
YOU TALK TO YOUR CAT.

UM...I'M NOT
ENTIRELY CERTAIN,

BUT I BELIEVE YOU MAY BE
EMPLOYING SARCASM.

CHARLIE, WHAT DO YOU
WANT FROM ME?

I MEAN,
YOUR INVENTIONS
ALWAYS WORK.

I CAN ONLY
ACT SO SURPRISED

EVERY TIME YOU FIGURE OUT
HOW TO POWER YOUR HOUSE
WITH TARTAR SAUCE.

[SNORTS]

IT'S COCKTAIL SAUCE!

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD
REALLY MAKE ME HAPPY?

IS IF YOU BUILT
SOMETHING USEFUL.

BY "USEFUL," I MEAN
SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE ME
RICH AND POPULAR--

OR BOTH. BOTH.

HEY, HEY! YOU CAN'T
RIDE THAT THING...

HEY, GREAT BIKE.

LOTS OF SHINY CROME...
GEARY THINGS.

[MUFFLED YELLING]

[BELL RINGS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Charlie: DID YOU KNOW
THAT THE CHEMICAL
CONTENT OF PUDDING

ACTUALLY MAKES YOU
GROW TALLER?

Boy: IT DOES.

YEAH. THAT'S WHY
YOU'RE SO TALL.

THE ELECTROLYTES
AND EVERYTHING.

AND NOW...
AND GO.

AH...YES! I WIN!

SENIOR YEAR,
AND I'M STILL EATING
AT THE DORK TABLE.

NO OFFENSE, GUYS.

I DO ENJOY
THE STIMULATING
CONVERSATION.

HEY, NONE TAKEN.

SERIOUSLY,
HOW DID IT COME TO THIS?

LET'S SEE.

MAYBE YOUR PLIGHT
HAS SOMETHING TO DO
WITH BEING STRIPPED,

DRESSED
IN MINISKIRTS,

AND HUNG FROM
THE SCHOOL MASCOT?

AND HAD A PICTURE
OF IT MAKE THE COVER
OF THE YEARBOOK,

3 YEARS IN A ROW.

AND WAS ON ALL
THE LOCAL NEWS STATIONS.

AND THE SPANISH
CHANNEL.

YES, THE INCIDENT

I WILL ONE DAY
BE EXPLAINING

TO A VERY EXPENSIVE
THERAPIST.

HEY, HUMMINGBIRD.

[MUTTERING]

THAT'S CHARLIE-SPEAK
FOR "HELLO."

HI.
EXCUSE ME, MISS?

UH, WHY DO YOU
CALL HIM
"HUMMINGBIRD"?

OH. I LOVE BIRDS.
ALL KINDS OF BIRDS.

YOU KNOW, BIG BIRDS,
LITTLE BIRDS--OOH!

I'M EVEN THE OFFICIAL
SECRETARY FOR
THE JUNIOR CHAPTER

OF THE JUNIOR
BIRD BUDDIES
OF AMERICA.

OOH! SUCH AN HONOR.

ANYWAYS, GOT TO RUN.

FIX THAT.

OH, WELL, THAT
EXPLAINS IT.

[GRUNTING]

JEANETTE HAS BEEN
SWEATING YOU
FOR TWO YEARS.

WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?

FORGET IT!
I'M MARRIED TO SCIENCE.

HEY!
CONGRATULATIONS,
BUDDY.

[LAUGHING]

THANKS.

OW.

PARDON ME, GENTS.

AH, SODA.

I HEAR IF YOU LEAVE
A PENNY IN THIS STUFF
FOR A WEEK,

IT COMES OUT, LIKE,
SHINY.

I WAS ACTUALLY
PLANNING ON DRINKING IT.

WELL...
NEVER MIND, THEN.

HA HA HA!

SO, UM...
HOW ARE YOU, VIRG?

I MEAN, I DIDN'T
REALLY SEE YOU MUCH
THIS SUMMER.

I WAS DOING, YOU KNOW,
LOT OF MOUNTAIN CLIMBING,
JET SKIING...

VIDEOGAMES?

I DIDN'T LEAVE THE COUCH.
YOU?

OH, THE USUAL--

POOL PARTIES,
CHEERLEADING CAMP.

BUT, UM...I DID TAKE
THIS AWESOME
ARCHITECTURE CLASS.

OH, THAT'S COOL.

I REMEMBER YOU MADE
A GINGERBREAD HOUSE,

AND IT HAD, LIKE,
10 ROOMS.

AND WALK-IN CLOSETS.

IT TOOK US 6 MONTHS
TO EAT IT.

[BELL RINGS]

OH. WELL...
I HAVE CALCULUS.

HATE IT. NEED IT.

CAN'T BE AN ARCHITECT
WITHOUT IT.

AND I GOT PUBLIC SPEAKING.

HATE IT. NEED IT.
CAN'T BE A GAME SHOW HOST
WITHOUT IT.

[SIGH]

THERE'S A GOOD REASON
TESLA'S BIOGRAPHER
NAMED HIS BOOK

"A MAN OUT OF TIME."

TESLA WAS SO FAR ADVANCED
OVER HIS CONTEMPORARIES

THAT THEY OFTEN DERI--
THAT--HEH.

THEY OFTEN DERIDED HIM
AS...

JOCELYN, WOULD IT BE
TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT
YOU NOT DO YOUR NAILS

WHILE I LECTURE?

SORRY.

WHEN ARE YOU DONE?

[LAUGHTER]

EXCUSE ME!

AH, MR. TUTTLE.

I BELIEVE YOU ARE HERE
FOR YOUR BOOSTER CHAIR.

I'LL GET IT LATER!
IT'S A--

IT'S AN A.V. CLUB
EMERGENCY!

I NEED VIRGIL FOX
RIGHT AWAY.

Teacher: VIRGIL FOX?

HE'S OUT SICK TODAY.
I HEAR HE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT.

VERY FUNNY, MR. FOX.

YOU CAN PICK UP
YOUR HALL PASS
ON YOUR WAY OUT.

THAT'S IT.
I'M MOVING TO PARAGUAY.

Virgil: YOU EVER
REALLY LOOKED AT
OUR SCHOOL MASCOT?

Charlie: FORGET THAT
STUPID HALL PASS!

REMEMBER THAT
ROCKET-PROPULSION
ALL-TERRAIN CAR

THAT I HAD BACK
ON THE DAY OF THE INCIDENT?

THANKS FOR
MENTIONING THAT
AGAIN.

YOU KNOW IT'S BEEN
ALMOST 10 MINUTES

SINCE SOMEONE
BROUGHT IT UP?

LISTEN!
IT TIES TOGETHER.

THAT INVENTION
MAY NOT HAVE BEEN A SUCCESS,

BUT ONE ELEMENT
OF THE DESIGN
WAS PROVEN VIABLE--

THE QUANTUM ACCELERATOR.

YOU REMEMBER WHEN I WAS
ON THAT PHYSICS-
NEW-REALITY-

MANY-WORLDS-THEORY
KICK?

OH, YEAH.
THAT WAS FUN.

WELL, I STARTED
BUILDING MY OWN THEORY
BASED ON ALL THAT WORK,

INCORPORATING
MY PROVEN HYPOTHESIS
OF QUANTUM ACCELERATION.

THEN I PUT ONE OF
THE SCHOOL'S COMPUTERS
ON PERMANENT RESERVE.

THE DSL's BEEN DOING
ALL THE WORK.

AND MOMENTS AGO,
I UPLOADED THE LAST
PIECE OF THE PUZZLE.

COMMANDER TUTTLE
ON THE BRIDGE.

DUDE, NO WAY
I'M SALUTING YOU.

FINE. AT EASE.

[RAPID TYPING]

WHAT I'M
ABOUT TO SHOW YOU

IS VERY, VERY...

VERY TOP SECRET.

OK. LET'S KEEP THIS
JUST BETWEEN US.

CHECK IT OUT.

[BEEPING]

YEAH?

[SIGH]

WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT
IS A SUCCESSFUL SIMULATION

OF PRACTICAL
TIME TRAVEL.

UH, UM...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[WHISPERING]
I'M TRYING TO STOP
ANY MORE OF YOUR BRAIN

FROM LEAKING OUT
OF YOUR EARS.

WHAT?

COME ON.

YESTERDAY, YOU SAID
I SHOULD BUILD
SOMETHING USEFUL.

WELL, TIME TRAVEL
IS USEFUL.

CHARLIE,
YOU'RE 14 YEARS OLD.

YOU'RE TWO YEARS AWAY
FROM YOUR DRIVER'S
LICENSE,

YOU STILL CALL
YOUR UNDERWEAR
"UNDERPANTS,"

YET I'M SUPPOSED
TO BELIEVE

YOU CAN BUILD
A TIME MACHINE?

YES! AND BASED ON
MY SPECIFICATIONS,

A PERSON CAN TRAVEL
UP TO 48 HOURS
INTO THE PAST.

THAT'S WEAK.

PARDON ME!

HOW IS YOUR TIME TRAVEL
FORMULA COMING ALONG?

[SIGH]

IT'S ALL ABOUT LIGHT,
RIGHT?

NOTHING MOVES FASTER.

WELL, MY HYPOTHESIS
SUGGESTS THAT YOU CAN
TIME TRAVEL

ON A BEAM OF LIGHT
FROM ANY LIGHT SOURCE,

EVEN LIGHT FROM
A SLIDE PROJECTOR.

A SLIDE PROJECTOR?

LIKE A REGULAR
SLIDE PROJECTOR?

DID I SAY REGULAR?
NO, I DIDN'T.

WHAT WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT

IS A COMPLEX
AMALGAMATION

OF ELECTRONIC
COMPONENTS

AND GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED
INTERNAL COMBUSTION
MECHANICS.

WHICH YOU KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT, BY THE WAY.

WE'LL HAVE TO FIND
A HARDWARE GUY.

I DON'T SEE THIS
AS A PROBLEM.

HEY, CHICKADEE,
WHAT'S SHAKING?

YOU'LL HAVE TO
EXCUSE CHARLIE.

HE'S NERVOUS
AROUND GIRLS.

NO, I'M NOT!

OH. IT'S COOL.
I LIKE SHY BOYS.

UH...
WHAT'S IN THE BOWL?

MERINGUE.
THE ASSIGNMENT.

HEH HEH!
HERE. TAKE MINE.

I'LL MAKE A NEW ONE.

DID YOU SEE THAT?

WHAT?

SHE GAVE YOU MERINGUE.
THAT'S HUGE.

I JUST NEED TO KNOW.

ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME
WITH THIS OR NOT?

ARE YOU GONNA BE
PART OF SOMETHING,

MAKE HISTORY?

OR ARE YOU GONNA
SIT ON THE SIDELINES

AND BE A PASSIVE
OBSERVER?

OK, LOOK.
I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.

I'LL HELP YOU
WITH YOUR TIME MACHINE.

I'LL EVEN HELP YOU
FIND A HARDWARE GUY.

BUT WHEN WE TRY IT OUT
FOR THE FIRST TIME,

WE'RE GONNA USE IT
FOR WHATEVER I WANT TO DO.

ALL RIGHT.

RIGHT.

BUT, VIRGIL,

THIS HARDWARE PERSON
WE NEED--

IT'S TRICKY.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE NOT ONLY
NEEDS TO BE GIFTED
MECHANICALLY,

BUT ALSO, LET'S SAY,

REQUIRE A CERTAIN
MORAL FLEXIBILITY--

YOU KNOW, LIVES
ON THE FRINGES
OF SOCIETY.

WELL...
WHAT ABOUT HIM?

ZEKE?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

LOOK AT HIM!
HE'S--HE'S...

PERFECT.

YOU KNOW THOSE
MONSTER TRUCK SHOWS

WHERE THEY HAVE
THE BIG METAL DINOSAURS

THAT BREATHE FIRE
AND DESTROY CARS.

I'VE SEEN
THE COMMERCIALS.

YEAH. HE AND HIS DAD
BUILD THOSE.

KILLERSAURUS--

15,000 POUNDS OF
JAW-CRUSHING FORCE!

I GET IT.

LOOK OUT, FOLKS.
IT'S CARNIVOROUS!

I GET IT! I GET IT.

[CAT MEOWING]

YOUR CAT IS FREAKING ME OUT.

NO,
THAT'S NOT MY CAT.

IT'S HIS.

HIS NAME IS
ALBERT FELINESTEIN.

THAT'S THE DUMBEST NAME
FOR A CAT I'VE EVER HEARD.

COULDN'T--COULDN'T
AGREE WITH YOU MORE,
ZEKE.

ZEKESTER!

SSS...

YEAH, NO. I HATE--

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE
BEND NAMES, TOO,

LIKE VIRGILOCITY.

I'M, LIKE,
COME ON, PEOPLE,
IT'S VIRGIL.

I'M GONNA STOP
TALKING NOW.

AMY, NO. NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO.

THIS IS A PRIVATE
MEETING.

OH, I'M SORRY.

I JUST CAME DOWN
TO WATCH TV,

BUT MOM DID MENTION
YOU HAD A NEW FRIEND OVER,

A BOY.

EW! HE'S GROSS!

JEEZ, VIRGIL,
WHY CAN'T YOU
BRING HOME CUTE BOYS?

AMY...LEAVE NOW,
OR I'M TELLING MOM

YOU'RE DOING MAKEOVERS
ON THE HAMSTERS AGAIN.

CHILL. I'M OUT OF HERE.

IT'S LIKE I WALKED
INTO AN UGLY CONTEST.

SHE'S A CHARMER.

YEAH.

OK. THIS THING?

RIGHT,
THIS QUANTUM INTEGRATION

INTO THE PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
OF LIGHT PROJECTION?

LOOKS LIKE IT COULD WORK.

YEAH. MONGO READ.

OK. SO YOU'LL HELP US
CONSTRUCT IT?

WHY NOT?

I'M ALWAYS UP
FOR A CHALLENGE...

AND FREE BEAN DIP.

UM...

YOU HAVE A LITTLE...

NO. JUST...

SOME BEAN.

DO THAT AGAIN,

AND I WELD YOU TO
THE CROSS-TOWN BUS.

SO HAVE YOU GUYS
THOUGHT HOW WE'RE
GONNA USE THIS THING?

THE FIRST JOURNEY
BACK THROUGH TIME

WILL OBVIOUSLY BE
A MONUMENTAL EVENT.

OUR SPECIFIC GOAL
ON THAT JOURNEY

SHOULD BE
APPROPRIATELY
GRANDIOSE.

I'VE GOT IT!

TWO WORDS, GENTLEMEN:
THE LOTTERY.

NICE.

ABSOLUTELY NOT,
VIRGIL.

I REFUSE TO AGREE
TO THAT.

OH, BUT YOU ALREADY DID.

YOU SAID THAT IF I
HELPED YOU BUILD
THE TIME MACHINE,

WE'D USE IT FOR WHATEVER
I WANT TO DO.

NO DO-OVERS!

HEH HEH!

DO YOU WANT TO
TIME TRAVEL OR DON'T YOU?

FINE.

YES!

HEY, YOU KNOW,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO JUST PLUG THIS THING

INTO A WALL OUTLET.

THIS IS GONNA TAKE
SOME MAJOR AMPERAGE.

NOT TO MENTION PRIVACY
AND A LOT OF SPACE.

I KNOW THE PLACE!

IT'S PERFECT!

IT'S COMPLETELY
PERFECT!

COME ON. COME ON!

VICE PRINCIPAL TOLKAN,

UH, WE WANT TO
TALK TO YOU ABOUT
STARTING A NEW CLUB.

NO CAN DO.

WE ARE COMPLETELY MAXED OUT
ON CLASSROOM SPACE.

YEAH. FUTURE FONDUERS
OF AMERICA WERE
THE LAST ONES IN.

IS THAT CHESTER
IN THE VENDING MACHINE?

HEY, FELLAS.

DO ANY OF YOU
HAVE 4 QUARTERS?

THIS THING'S NOT
TAKING MY DOLLAR.

AREN'T YOU GONNA
DO SOMETHING?

LIKE WHAT?
CHANGE THE WAY
HIGH SCHOOL WORKS?

[CHUCKLE]

NO, GENTLEMEN.

EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD
HAS AN ORDER.

THERE ARE THOSE
WHO STUFF OTHERS
INTO VENDING MACHINES

AND, UM,

THOSE WHO GET STUFFED
INTO VENDING MACHINES.

IT'S JUST THE WAY
THE SYSTEM WORKS.

IT'S ACTUALLY
IN THE VICE PRINCIPAL'S
HANDBOOK.

UH, ANYWAY...
ABOUT OUR CLUB.

UH, WE WERE--

ROOM 77!
WE WANT ROOM 77.

IMPOSSIBLE.
IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

OH! LIKE THIS.

[GRUNTING]

[SIGH]

PERHAPS WE CAN
CONVINCE YOU
TO RECONSIDER.

HUH.

EH...

HMM.

DONE.

HEH!

ALL RIGHT,
SCOOCH OVER TO YOUR LEFT.

I'M GOING AFTER
THE PRETZEL NUBS.

Charlie: THE NORTH WING
OF THE OLD BUILDING
WAS KNOCKED DOWN

TO MAKE SPACE
FOR THE FOOTBALL FIELD,

WHICH WE'RE UNDERNEATH NOW.

ROOM 77 WAS ACTUALLY
BUILT TO BE THE SCHOOL'S
FALLOUT SHELTER

BACK IN THE 1950s.

I THINK IT'S
RIGHT THROUGH HERE.

SOMEONE CALL
"EXTREME CLASSROOM
MAKEOVER."

THIS--THIS
IS A DISASTER!

GOT GREAT BONES,
THOUGH.

Aly and A.J.: ♪ LIFE IS GOOD,
I CAN'T COMPLAIN ♪

♪ I MEAN, I COULD,
BUT NO ONE'S LISTENING ♪

♪ YOUR IMAGE
OVERWHELMS MY BRAIN ♪

♪ AND IT FEELS GOOD ♪

♪ GOOD, GOOD ♪

♪ NOW I'M ROLLING
MY WINDOW DOWN ♪

♪ I LOVE THE WIND,
BUT I HATE THE SOUND ♪

♪ YOU'RE LIKE A TATTOO
THAT I CAN'T REMOVE ♪

♪ AND IT FEELS GOOD ♪

♪ IT FEELS GOOD, IT FEELS GOOD ♪

♪ LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE ♪

♪ HOLDING ON,
WHITE KNUCKLES, LIKE ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪

♪ UP AND DOWN AND SIDE TO SIDE ♪

♪ EVERY INCH OF ME IS LIKE ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪

♪ I'M HOLDING ON ♪

♪ LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE ♪

♪ LIKE I'M RUNNING
A RED LIGHT ♪

♪ LIKE A ROCKET SHIP IN FLIGHT ♪

♪ THERE'S NOTHING ELSE
THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

♪ LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE ♪

♪ HOLDING ON,
WHITE KNUCKLES, LIKE ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪

♪ UP AND DOWN AND SIDE TO SIDE ♪

♪ EVERY INCH OF ME IS LIKE ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪

OK!

THIS IS IT!

WHOA.

ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN,

BUT ONE VERY LARGE...

NO, THAT'S NOT IT.

ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN...

DUDE,
JUST TURN IT ON!

[BEEPING AND WHIRRING]

GOOD GRAVY!

SCRATCH!

IT'S SCORCH!

RIGHT.

SO...

WHO WANTS TO GO
FIRST?

BE THE WORLD'S
FIRST TIME TRAVELER.

I JUST ATE
A MEATBALL SANDWICH.

I MIGHT GET CRAMPS.

YEAH, AND, UH...

THIS IS MY NEW
FAVORITE SHIRT.

[MEOW]

GET THE GOGGLES.

[CHARLIE MUTTERING]

YOU'RE GOOD.
YOU'RE GOOD.

NO BITING.
NO BITING.

OK.

[SCREECHING]

WHERE'S ALBERT FELINESTEIN?

DID YOU...

HELLO!

VORTEX!
HE COULD DIE!

YOU WERE OK WITH ME
GOING IN THERE.

WHAT--WHAT--

WELL, I WAS GONNA--

HANG ON.

[ROWR]

WHOA!

CATSICLE.

VIRGIL! TIME TRAVEL'S
UNPREDICTABLE!

THE TEMPERATURES
CAN BE HIGHLY VARIABLE!

THANK YOU FOR
TELLING ME--

GUYS?

TAKE A LOOK
AT THE WATCH.

8:43!

8:44!

EXACT ONE-MINUTE
DIFFERENTIAL!

THAT MEANS...

YOUR CAT IS THE FIRST
TIME TRAVELER IN HISTORY.

WE DID IT!

[YELLING]

[BEEPING]

[SIGH]

HUH.

THAT'S BIZARRE.

I GOT A READING
FROM THE SUMMERTON SENSOR

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
OFF THE CHARTS,

BUT WE GOT NOTHING
AROUND IT.

HMM. YOU THINK
THEY GOT ANYTHING
ON THAT UPSTAIRS?

THEY WOULD HAVE
CALLED US ALREADY.

IT'S PROBABLY JUST
ANOTHER COMPUTER GLITCH.

YOU KNOW THEY GIVE
US BASEMENT DWELLERS
THE LAME-O EQUIPMENT.

PLUS ALL THE GOOD SNACKS
ARE UPSTAIRS.

[GARBLED]
I MEAN, SERIOUSLY...

TRY ONE OF THESE.
THEY'RE STALE.

[SNIFF]

Derek: COME ON, STEPH.

I MEAN, WHAT DO I
HAVE TO DO TO
MAKE YOU BELIEVE ME?

SHE'S JUST
TEACHING ME FRENCH.

HMM. SO JOCELYN LEE
IS TUTORING YOU
IN FRENCH

AND THAT'S ALL?

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

SEE? THAT'S WHY
I NEED HER HELP.

I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

I SAID,

"MY BOYFRIEND IS
A LYING CHEESEBRAIN."

COME ON, STEPH.

I MEAN, JOCELYN'S HOT,
BUT SHE'S A TOTAL
BOTTOM FEEDER.

I WOULD NEVER GO THERE.

I KNOW.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER,
OK?

OK.

OH. HEY, STEPH.
I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

OH, HEY.
ARE YOU STUDYING?

YEAH. I WAS ACTUALLY
LOOKING FOR A PENCIL
SHARPENER.

OH. I HAVE ONE.

DO YOU HAVE A PENCIL?

SAME OLD VIRG.
NEVER CHANGES.

WELL, YOU HAVEN'T
CHANGED MUCH, EITHER.

DOES YOUR HAIR
STILL FRIZZ UP

WHEN YOU RUN
THROUGH THE SPRINKLERS?

OH, TOTALLY.
THIS MORNING BEFORE SCHOOL,

I SET UP THE WIGGLY WORM
IN THE FRONT LAWN.

I LOVE THE WIGGLY WORM!

YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME
I ALMOST DROWNED?

BECAUSE DEREK SHOVED
THE NOZZLE UP YOUR NOSE?

YEAH! THEN HE TRIED
TO RUN AWAY,

AND HE CRACKED HIS HEAD
ON THE TELEPHONE POLE.

SHH!

SHH!

SHH!

I MISS US.

TRES AMIGOS.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, DEREK
REALLY DID TRY TO STOP
THOSE FOOTBALL PLAYERS,

BUT YOU KNOW
HOW SENIORS ARE.

ANYWAY, I KNOW
HE FEELS REALLY BAD
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY.

YOU KNOW, THEY SAY
THAT PEOPLE WHO DON'T
LET GO OF THE PAST

DIE FASTER...

AND GET MORE ACNE.

SWEATING LIKE 5 HOGS.

DUE TO THE VARYING
IRREGULARITIES
IN TEMPERATURE,

I THOUGHT WE SHOULD
BE PREPARED!

OK. GOT THE WINNING
LOTTERY NUMBERS
RIGHT HERE.

OK. IN ORDER TO GUARANTEE
THAT THE VORTEX MAINTAINS
STABILITY LONG ENOUGH

FOR US TO RETURN SAFELY,

WE'RE ONLY GONNA HAVE
10 MINUTES ON THE OTHER SIDE.

OTHERWISE, WE RUN THE RISK
OF EXPLODING.

UH...

THAT'S FUNNY,
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
"EXPLODING."

I DID.

ACTIVATING GRID.

UM...WHAT'S WITH
THE GRAPPLING HOOK?

YOU MAKING FUN
OF THE HOOK?

WHAT? NO.
NO, NO, NO.

I LOVE--LOVE THE HOOK.

OK.

NEXT STOP, FUNKYTOWN.

[YELLING]

I JUST REMEMBERED,
I FORGOT TO TRIPLE-CHECK
THE--THE...

YAH! OW! OH. OH.

[YELLING]

[YELLING]

WE GOT TO WORK
ON OUR LANDINGS.

IT'S 1:27 YESTERDAY.

WE DID IT!

OH, YES, WE DID IT!
WE'RE--WE'RE TIME TRAVELERS!

♪ WE'RE TIME TRAVELERS ♪

♪ WE'RE TIME TRAVELERS ♪

♪ WE'RE TIME, WE'RE TIME,
WE'RE TIME, WE'RE TIME ♪

♪ WE'RE TIME TRAVELERS ♪

♪ WE'RE TIME TRAVELERS... ♪

IS HE OK?

♪ WE'RE TIME TRAVELERS ♪

HE REALLY LOVES SCIENCE.

♪ WE'RE TIME TRAVELERS ♪

♪ WE'RE TIME TRAVELERS ♪

ONE LOTTERY TICKET,
PLEASE.

THESE ARE
THE NUMBERS.

WE'RE FEELING LUCKY.

UH-HUH.

ARE YOU FEELING
LIKE YOU HAVE I.D.?

YOU NEED TO BE 18 TO
BUY A LOTTERY TICKET.

HI. WE NEED TO
ASK YOU A FAVOR.

HE WANTS A TIP.

OH.

YEAH. OK.

WE NEED YOU
TO BUY US
A LOTTERY TICKET...

WITH...
THESE NUMBERS.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

TYPICAL.

OH.

IT'S ALL I GOT.

OK?

YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS,
WE HAVE TWO MINUTES
TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL.

NEW PLAN: WE'LL
MEET YOU HERE
TOMORROW AT 12:00.

HANG ON
TO THE TICKET
TILL THEN. OK?

OK!

OK. THAT'S THE SECOND
FLUCTUATION OF
THE EXACT SAME MAGNITUDE

IN THE EXACT SAME
LOCATION.

I'M TELLING YOU,
IT'S A TECHNICAL GLITCH.

WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?

YOU THINK THEY
ALL OF A SUDDEN

STARTED DRILLING FOR OIL
IN SUMMERTON?

NOW, LET'S JUST
GET BACK TO WORK,
ALL RIGHT?

CAN YOU HELP ME
UNKNOT THIS?

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Woman: AN INCREDIBLE STORY
FROM SUMMERTON THIS AFTERNOON.

THE WINNER OF THE STATE LOTTERY
ANNOUNCED LAST NIGHT

HAS TURNED OUT TO BE
NONE OTHER THAN ROBOT MAN!

TOLD YOU.

OK. SO TOMORROW,
WE GO BACK IN TIME

AND GET A NEW
LOTTERY TICKET,

BUT THIS TIME,
WE BE SURE--

NO, VIRGIL!
IT'S WRONG.

IT'S CHEATING.

RIGHT.
IT IS CHEATING.

OK, NEW PLAN:

WE GO ON TV
WITH THE MACHINE,
DO AN INFOMERCIAL,

SELL, LIKE,
8,000 OF THEM,

AND INSTANTLY
BECOME RICH

AND HUMONGOUSLY POPULAR!

AND THEY SAY
YOU CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS.

LISTEN TO ME!

IF ANYONE FINDS OUT
ABOUT THIS TIME MACHINE,

IT'LL BE THE END OF ME,
YOU, AND ZEKE--

THE END!

CAN YOU BACK UP?
I HAVE PERSONAL SPACE
ISSUES.

OHH, NO.

[BELL RINGS]

WE JUST GOT TO THINK
OUTSIDE THE BOX.

I KNOW THERE'S
AN IMPORTANT USE
FOR THE MACHINE.

WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT
THAN BEING RICH AND POPULAR?

I'M KIDDING.

I'M KIDDING!

MOSTLY.

HEY, CHESTER,
LOOKING FOR THESE?

HEY!

GIVE ME THOSE!

[STUDENTS GASPING]

[LAUGHTER]

IF YOU'RE TRYING OUT
A NEW LOOK, CHESTER,

LET ME BE THE FIRST
TO SAY IT'S NOT WORKING.

THOSE KIDS STOLE MY CLOTHES.
CAN YOU HELP ME GET THEM BACK?

[SIGH]

I'D LIKE TO--
REALLY, I WOULD--

BUT THAT WOULD BE
ALTERING THE DELICATE
SOCIAL SYSTEM

HERE AT THE SCHOOL.

SO...GOOD LUCK.

[LAUGHTER]

VIRGIL, I JUST HAD
A BRILLIANT IDEA.

YOU MEAN, TO USE
THE TIME MACHINE...

EXACTLY!

HA!

HA!

STARCH!

AGAIN, SCORCH.

DID YOU EVEN READ
THE INSTRUCTIONS
I E-MAILED YOU?

I'M SORRY.

OK. SO--SO LET ME
GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE SAYING
WE BECOME, LIKE,

SILENT HEROES
TO THE UNCOOL?

LOOK AROUND.

WE LIVE IN A WORLD
WHERE MERE MINUTES

CAN MAKE OR BREAK
A PERSON'S ENTIRE FUTURE.

TAKE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME
FRESHMAN YEAR.

HAD I KNOWN THAT
STICKING UP FOR CHARLIE
WOULD HAVE RUINED MY LIFE,

I NEVER WOULD HAVE DONE IT.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL US
HOW YOU REALLY FEEL?

THINK ABOUT ALL THE KIDS
AT THIS SCHOOL...

LIKE CHESTER, LIKE US.

WE ALL LIVE
IN CONSTANT FEAR
OF HUMILIATION

BECAUSE WE HAPPEN TO BE
SMALLER, LESS COORDINATED,

WHATEVER.

WE CAN CHANGE THAT.

THE MINUTEMEN MUST
USE THEIR POWERS
FOR TRUTH, JUSTICE...

AND THEN WE FOCUS
ON GETTING RICH.

AGAIN, I'M--I'M KIDDING.

WHO ARE
THE MINUTEMEN?

WE. US.

THE ALL-IMPORTANT
MINUTES IN TIME.

CLEVER, RIGHT?

SORT OF.

NOT REALLY.

FORGET IT!

NONE OF THESE REMOTE-CONTROL
HOOKUPS ARE GONNA WORK.

THIS IS NO GOOD!

WE HAVE TO BE ABLE
TO MAKE ADJUSTMENTS
WHILE WE'RE BACK IN TIME.

WELL, I GUESS
ONE OF US

IS JUST GONNA
HAVE TO HANG BACK.

NOT IT!

NOT IT!

NOT IT! OHH!

DANG IT!

THIS IS UNFAIR!
I INVENTED THE MACHINE.

OK. RE-DO.

NOT IT!

NOT IT!

NOT IT! DAAA!

DOUBLE DANG IT!

Jeanette: NOT IT!

THAT WAS FUN. NOT IT!

UH...JEANETTE,
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

I WAS JUST LOOKING
FOR A CLUB TO JOIN,

AND I SAW YOURS
ON THE VICE PRINCIPAL'S LIST.

THE "BACK TO THE FUTURE"
FAN CLUB?

OH. RIGHT.

I LOVE THAT MOVIE. HEH!

EVEN THOUGH
I NEVER REALLY SAW IT.

BUT I TOTALLY LOVE
THE WHOLE IDEA OF TIME TRAVEL.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST SO...
SCIENCE-FICTIONY?

ACTUALLY, JEANETTE,
YOUR TIMING
IS INTERESTING.

NO, IT ISN'T, VIRGIL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH...AHEM.
EXCUSE US.

THINK ABOUT IT.

[ALL WHISPERING]

SHH!

SHH!

NO! NO!
NO...

LISTEN TO ME.

NO! NO! NO...

THINK ABOUT IT.

NOOOOO!

YOU'RE WRONG!
YOU'RE WRONG!

NO HITTING. OK.

JEANETTE,
HAVE A SEAT.

OH! WHOA.

YOU KNOW WHAT
TO DO, RIGHT?

SURE THING,
PUFFIN.

UM, BUT FIRST...

WE SO HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT
THOSE OUTFITS.

HMM?

HUH?

THERE YOU GO.
THAT'S BETTER.

WHERE DID YOU
GET THESE?

MY DAD JUST BOUGHT
SKI WORLD.

HOW LUCKY IS THAT?

I MEAN, HAD HE
STILL OWNED THE SHRIMP
AND WAFFLE HUT,

THAT WOULD BE, LIKE,
NO HELP AT ALL. HEH!

YEAH.

Virgil: I'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING FORM-FITTING

THAT WOULD HIGHLIGHT
THESE MASSIVE GUNS.

BRO, YOU'RE BUILT
LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.

YEAH, WELL, YOU LOOK
LIKE A YETI IN THAT THING.

YOU PROBABLY THINK
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT A YETI IS.

DO YOU?

VIRGIL, GROW UP!

ME GROW UP?
HOW ABOUT YOU GROW UP?

HEY, DON'T YELL
AT CHARLIE.

I'M NOT YELLING...

[YELLING]

Charlie: I NEVER YELL
AT PEOPLE--WHOA!

Zeke: NO YELLINGGGGGG!

I NEVER THOUGHT TIME TRAVEL
WOULD INVOLVE SO MUCH BICKERING.

OH, MAN!

OHH...

Virgil:
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
FRIEND.

UH, IF YOU GUYS
ARE GONNA PICK ON ME,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
TAKE A NUMBER.

DON'T BE AFRAID.

WE'RE HERE TO HELP.

OH, WHAT'S GOING ON,
FELLAS?

OH. YOU CAN KEEP
THOSE.

I GOT MYSELF
SOME NEW THREADS.

WHO WERE THOSE
SNOWSUIT GUYS?

AFTER 20 YEARS OF SERVICE,

THE BOARD GIVES YOU
EITHER A GOLD WATCH

OR ONE OF THESE.

MY SWEET LITTLE CASTLE.

DON'T TOUCH IT!

IT'S GOING IN MY OFFICE
IN A BULLETPROOF
GLASS CASE.

IT'S DELICATE.

AARGH!

[YELLING]

DID WE WIN? DID WE WIN?

OH, WE WON, ALL RIGHT.
WE WON BIG.

Tolkan on P.A.: NURSE RATCHED
AND COACH BOB

HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE,

AND THEY ASSURE ME THAT
IT IS NOT CONTAGIOUS.

ONE MORE THING BEFORE
WE WRAP UP THIS MORNING'S
ANNOUNCEMENTS:

RECENTLY, A GROUP OF STUDENTS
DRESSED IN SNOWSUITS

DISRUPTED A GYM CLASS.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, THEY DESTROYED
MY PRECIOUS DIORAMA.

WHOEVER YOU STUDENTS ARE,

LET ME MAKE IT
PERFECTLY CLEAR

THAT ONCE YOU ARE IDENTIFIED,
YOU WILL BE SEVERELY PUNISHED.

THAT IS ALL.

COOL!

WE'RE OUTLAWS.

ON THE RUN
FROM JOHNNY LAW.

NAUGHTINESS!

THAT'S, UH--
THAT'S WHAT MY MOM
CALLS ME

WHEN I FORGET TO FLOSS.

DUDE.

PERFECT...

EXCEPT I THINK
THAT'S A DANGLING
PARTICIPLE.

HATE IT WHEN
THOSE THINGS DANGLE.

PICK IT UP
IN 5 MINUTES.

UH...OK?

I'M TOTALLY TIRED,
AND I NEED TO SIT DOWN.

YOU THINK MAYBE

YOU COULD JUST
BRING THE FOOD
TO OUR TABLE?

YOU KNOW,
BEND THE RULES

JUST A LITTLE BIT,

EUGENE...VON...GOZERBERG?

UH...YOU BET.

GREAT.

SO, DO YOU THINK
YOU GET IT?

YEAH.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

H-HERE YOU G-GO.

UNH!

[LAUGHTER]

NICE ONE, DORK.

WAY TO GO, EUGENE.

EUGENE...VON...GOZERBERG?

UH...YOU BET.

GREAT.

H-HERE YOU...

G-GO.

UNH!

AAH!

AAH!

[LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT!
THE SNOWSUIT GUYS!

WAY TO GO, SNOW GUYS!

WAY TO GO, EUGENE.

WHOA. DEJA VU.

THE JIG IS UP, SKI CLUB,

OR SHOULD I SAY...
SNOWSUIT GUYS?

Corbin Bleu:
♪ LOOKING BACK,
PUSHING WITH THE REWIND ♪

♪ CHANGING EVERY WRONG OR RIGHT
THAT YOU SEE ♪

♪ IF YOU COULD,
DON'T YOU THINK
THAT YOU WOULD ♪

♪ MAKE YOU WORLD JUST LIKE
YOU WANT IT TO BE? ♪

♪ NOW, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE ♪

♪ THERE'S A WILL,
THERE'S A WAY ♪

♪ GOT TO STAY IN THE GAME,
GO THE DISTANCE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU LIVE
AND YOU LEARN ♪

♪ THAT IT TAKES A LOT OF WORK ♪

♪ BUT YOU WIN IN THE END
WITH PERSISTENCE ♪

♪ MIX IT UP, GET IT RIGHT ♪

♪ GO FOR ANOTHER TRY ♪

♪ STILL RUN IT BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ REPLAY, HIT REWIND ♪

♪ THIS TIME YOU'LL DO IT RIGHT ♪

♪ YOU RUN IT BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ RUN IT BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ ON YOUR MARK, GET SET ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ AW, YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN
IF YOU WANT IT TO ♪

♪ TICK, TOCK, TIME TO ROCK ♪

♪ YOU KNOW ♪

♪ THE FUTURE'S UP TO YOU ♪

♪ ONE MORE TIME NOW ♪

♪ MIX IT UP, GET IT RIGHT ♪

♪ GO FOR ANOTHER TRY ♪

♪ STILL RUN IT BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ REPLAY, HIT REWIND ♪

♪ THIS TIME YOU'LL DO IT RIGHT ♪

♪ YOU RUN IT BACK AGAIN ♪

♪ RUN IT BACK AGAIN ♪

YEAH, I PARTY WITH THEM
ALL THE TIME.

COOL.

AND WHO'S THIS
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT,
EUGENE?

OH. HEY, VIRGIL.

YEAH, IT'S NOBODY
YOU KNOW.

I'M JUST TALKING
ABOUT THE SNOWSUIT GUYS.

OH! YEAH,
I HEARD ABOUT THEM.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE TOTAL HEROES.

OH, AND I HEAR
THE MEDIUM-HEIGHT GUY
IS, LIKE,

EXTREMELY HILARIOUS
AND DEVASTATINGLY
HAND...SOME.

AND THEY'RE CALLED
THE MINUTEMEN,

NOT THE SNOWSUIT GUYS.

ALL I KNOW
IS EUGENE'S COPPED
AN ATTITUDE.

YOU WANT AN ATTITUDE,
CHECK OUT CHESTER.

AM I A TRENDSETTER?
YOU TELL ME, AMIGO.

I MEAN, WHO ELSE
ARE THESE KIDS
SUPPOSED TO LOOK UP TO

TO SET TRENDS,

THOSE DOORKNOBS?

[LAUGHING]

VIRGIL? VIRGIL?
VIRGIL.

I ALMOST CALLED YOU
LAST NIGHT,

BUT I WANTED TO
TELL YOU IN PERSON.

WHAT--WHAT'S GOING ON?

I GOT ACCEPTED
AT U.C. BELMONT!

GET OUT!

BUT...IT'S NOT
A DONE DEAL YET.

I APPLIED FOR
A CHEERLEADING
SCHOLARSHIP,

AND THEY'RE SENDING
A SCOUT OVER THIS WEEK,

WHICH MEANS I HAVE
TO WORK EXTRA HARD
ON MY PYRAMID DISMOUNT.

THAT'S SO COOL.
I'M SO PSYCHED FOR YOU!

YOU LOVE THAT SCHOOL!

I KNOW.

Derek: STEPH!

OH. DEREK.

AH.

I GOT TO GO TELL HIM
ABOUT THE SCHOLARSHIP.

SO...I'LL SEE YOU
LATER, VIRG. BYE.

CHARLIE,
WHAT'S WRONG?

OK. WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU

ABOUT THE TIME TRAVEL
FORMULA.

AS YOU REMEMBER,

THERE WAS ONE LAST PIECE
OF THE EQUATION

THAT EVADED MY MIND
FOR SEVERAL YEARS

UNTIL I FINALLY FOUND
WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR

DOING AN EXTENSIVE
AROUND-THE-CLOCK INTERNET
DOWNLOADING PROCEDURE.

HE WAS HACKING.

IT GETS WORSE.

I STOLE IT FROM NASA.

YOU ROBBED NASA?

UNH!

[WHISPERING]
ALL RIGHT. IT'S NOT
AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS.

YES, IT IS.
IT'S WORSE THAN IT
SOUNDS.

THE FILES WERE FROM THE 1960s.
THEY WERE DEFUNCT.

NO ONE HAS TOUCHED THEM
FOR DECADES.

THIS IS BAD,
REAL BAD.

WE COULD GO
TO PRISON!

OH, JUST SO YOU GUYS KNOW,

IF WE DO GO TO PRISON
AND WE SHARE THE SAME CELL,

I SNORE LIKE A CHAINSAW.

THAT'S GREAT!

THIS WON'T BE A PROBLEM, OK?

AS LONG AS WE JUST
DON'T USE THE MACHINE
FOR A WHILE AND LAY LOW.

MMM.
DROPPED A GRAPE.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

FORGET IT, VIRGIL.

IT'S TERRIBLE THAT
STEPHANIE FELL OFF
THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID,

BUT FORGET IT!

I MEAN, WE ALL SAID
THAT WE WERE BEING
WATCHED, RIGHT?

THE HEAT IS ON!

LOOK, CHARLIE,
IF WE DON'T HELP
STEPHANIE,

SHE COULD LOSE OUT
ON HER SCHOLARSHIP.

WE HAVE TO GO BACK.

YOU JUST WANT TO
BECAUSE YOU HAVE
A BIG, CREEPY CRUSH ON HER.

OH! CREEPY CRUSH?
I VOTE YES.

CHARLIE, YOU SAID IT
YOURSELF.

THE FILES
YOU HACKED INTO
WERE DEFUNCT.

I BET NOBODY EVEN
KNOWS THEY'RE MISSING.

NEED I REMIND YOU,

WE ARE THE MINUTEMEN...

NOT THE WEENIEMEN.

DON'T BE LATE FOR DINNER.

[YELLING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

OK. WE NEED
A PLAN OF ACTION.

WE NEED TO BE
EXTREMELY DISCREET.

AT THE SAME TIME,
BOLD AND DECISIVE.

ZEKE,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

HURRY UP.

ZEKE?

WHERE DID HE GO?

WELL, AT LEAST WE GOT
THE "BOLD AND DECISIVE"
PART.

GO! GO!

COME BACK HERE!

[CRASH]

AAH!

SNOWSUIT GUYS.

Girl: AND UP!

WHAT'S UP, GENE?

HEY, DUDES,
MIND IF I HACK IN?

STOP! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

LET'S GO, RAMS!

WHOO!

OH!

OOH!

OH...OH...OH...

[SCREAMING]

Girl: GOOD CATCH,
SNOWSUIT GUY!

WOW.

I DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU ARE,

BUT YOU'RE AMAZING.

GET OUT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

GET--AAH!

UNH!

ERR!

ALL RIGHT!

WAY TO GO,
SNOWSUIT GUYS!

AND WE'RE CALLED
THE MINUTEMEN!

YEEHA!

HEY. LOOK AT CHESTER.

LOOKING GOOD,
CHESTER.

ACCORDING
TO MY CALCULATIONS,

YOU GUYS ARE
IN MY WAY.

LEAVE US ALONE,
CHESTER.

QUITE FRANKLY,
I'M NOT FOND
OF YOUR HAT.

EXCUSE ME.
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

CHESTER AND HIS
FRIENDS KEEP
HARASSING US.

SHUT UP, DIRTBALL!

ALL RIGHT.
EVERYBODY JUST
SETTLE DOWN.

CHESTER, LAST I REMEMBER,
YOU WERE AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE FOOD CHAIN,

AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE
STUDENTS LEAP-FROGGING

TO A HIGHER
SOCIAL STATUS,

SO YOU COME WITH ME.

"RAM'S HORN"?

THANKS.

SURE.

"ROBOT MAN SUES
OLD LADY"?

VIRGIL, THIS IS BAD.

WE'RE CHANGING
THE OUTCOME OF THINGS
WE NEVER PLANNED ON.

OUR JUMPS ARE CAUSING
A CHAIN REACTION.

HOW SO?

CHESTER GETTING
IN TROUBLE?

THAT'S NEVER
HAPPENED BEFORE.

ROBOT MEN SUING
OLD LADIES!

DAW! THAT'S A WORLD
GONE MAD!

MAD, I TELL YOU!

GLOBAL WARMING.

HE'S REALLY
FREAKED OUT.

HEY. YOU, UH,
NEED A HAND?

UH, STEPH?
NOT--NOT REALLY.
UM, WHAT ARE YOU--

WELL, JUST I FIGURED
IT'S THE LEAST
I COULD DO,

YOU KNOW,
TO THANK YOU.

WELL, FOR WHAT?

FOR SAVING ME,

SNOWSUIT GUY.

WHAT? WHAT? NO.

OH, DON'T EVEN TRY
IT, VIRG.

"GET OUT"? PLEASE.

YOU, CHARLIE,
AND ZEKE THOMPSON

ARE THE SNOWSUIT GUYS.

STEPHANIE.

OH, I KNEW IT!

OH, THAT IS
SO COOL!

SEE, IF I FIGURED
IT OUT BECAUSE I
STARTED THINKING ABOUT IT.

ALL THOSE KIDS
THAT YOU HELPED,
IT WAS ALWAYS

RIGHT BEFORE SOMETHING
BAD WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

JUST LIKE WITH ME!

STEPH, THAT IS
RIDICULOUS.

HOW IN THE WORLD
ARE WE GONNA KNOW

WHEN SOMETHING BAD
IS GONNA HAPPEN?

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
I ASKED MYSELF,

AND I THOUGHT ABOUT IT,
AND I THOUGHT ABOUT IT,

AND I FIGURED IT OUT.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YES, I DID.

NO. YOU COULDN'T
HAVE.

ADMIT IT, VIRGIL.

YOU, CHARLIE, AND ZEKE
ARE PSYCHIC.

ARE TIME TRAVELERS?

WHAT? WHO SAID
TIME TRAVELERS?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

GET OUT.

WE'RE PSYCHIC.
WE'RE PSYCHIC. NO.

I HEARD YOU--
YOU--YOU'RE RIGHT.

UH-UH, VIRGIL.
YOU SAID TIME TRAVEL.

OH, MY GOSH!
THAT IS SO COOL!

HOW DO YOU DO IT,
HUH, HUH, HUH?

[CROWD CHEERING]

DOWN!

BLUE 13, BLUE 13!

HIKE!

TIMEOUT, TIMEOUT!

Boy: 6 SECONDS LEFT
IN THIS MATCH-UP
OF CROSSTOWN RIVALS.

THE HORNETS CLINGING
TO A 4-POINT LEAD

AS WE COME UPON
FOURTH AND GOAL FOR SUMMERTON.

OH, FOOTBALL.

REMIND ME WHY
WE'RE HERE AGAIN.

BECAUSE SOME
POOR KID ALWAYS
EMBARRASSES HIMSELF

AT ONE OF THESE
THINGS.

JUST KEEP
YOUR EYES OPEN.

YOU KNOW,
I'M ACTUALLY
VERY BRIGHT,

EVEN THOUGH A LOT
OF PEOPLE SEE ME
AS SPUTTY.

SPUTTY?

A CROSS BETWEEN
SPUNKY AND NUTTY.

GREAT.

LISTEN, BEAU.

IT'S ALL
IN YOUR HANDS,

BUT NO PRESSURE,
ALL RIGHT?

FORGET THAT THERE'S
6 SECONDS LEFT
ON THE CLOCK,

FORGET THAT YOU COULD
PUT SUMMERTON HIGH
ON THE MAP,

FORGET THAT MY LITTLE BOY
IS UP THERE IN THAT STANDS,

LOOKING DOWN ON HIS FATHER
TRYING TO FULFILL

A LIFELONG DREAM
OF WINNING A STATE
CHAMPIONSHIP!

FORGET ALL THAT.

WHAT I WANT IS
YOU TO, UH...

BE THE BALL?

BE THE BALL.
BE THE BALL!

GO GET THEM!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

DOWN! BLUE 42!

BLUE 42!

SET, HIKE!

WHOO!

NOW WE'RE TALKING!

NOW WE'RE TALKING!
NOW WE'RE TALKING!

FOR A GUY
WITH NUDITY ISSUES,

HE'S REALLY COME
FULL CIRCLE.

Announcer:
DEREK BEAUGARD LOSES THE BALL.

THERE'S A FUMBLE
ON THE PLAY!

HAMILTON'S GOT IT!

OHH!

THE HORNETS WIN!

WHAT A HEARTBREAKER
FOR SUMMERTON!

Derek: I ALWAYS KNEW
YOU WERE GONNA DO
BIG THINGS, VIRG,

BUT TIME TRAVEL?

THAT'S WHACKED-OUT,
MAN.

Amy: 1, 2, 3, 4,
YOUR TEAM STINKS,

YOU'LL NEVER SCORE!

AMY.

5, 6, 7, 8,
YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS,

I'M TOO GREAT.

AMY, THAT'S IT.
UPSTAIRS. COME ON.

STEPHANIE, I DIDN'T
EVEN SEE YOU.

IT'S SO WEIRD
THAT YOU'RE HERE,

AND, OH, MY GOSH,
DEREK BEAUGARD?

YOU'RE, LIKE,
THE BEST FOOTBALL
PLAYER EVER

EXCEPT FOR THAT
BLOWN PLAY
YESTERDAY.

JUST GO.

AMY, GO WATCH
CARTOONS.

NO.

I'M SO, SO SORRY.

I'M TRYING TO TALK
MY FOLKS INTO
CAGING HER

WHENEVER THERE'S
COMPANY.

SHE'S SO CUTE.

AHEM.

OH, SO, UM,
ABOUT THE GAME
YESTERDAY, VIRG.

THAT WAS A REALLY
BIG DEAL FOR DEREK,

AND HE KIND OF FEELS
LIKE HE LET EVERYBODY
IN SCHOOL DOWN.

I KNOW I WOULD HAVE
WON THAT GAME.

BUT THEN CHESTER STREAKED
ACROSS THE FIELD

AND DISTRACTED HIM.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
GOTTEN INTO ALL
THE DORKS LATELY.

IT'S LIKE THEY JUST
DON'T KNOW THEIR
PLACE ANYMORE.

SO YOU GUYS WANT
THE MINUTEMEN
TO STOP CHESTER

FROM INTERFERING
WITH THE GAME?

UH, NO. WE WANT
YOU GUYS TO DO IT.

WHO ARE THE MINUTEMEN?

THAT--THAT'S US.

NEVER MIND.

SO, UH...

I DON'T KNOW.

CHARLIE'S GONNA BE
A TOUGH SELL.

COME ON, VIRG.

I MEAN, I KNOW WE NEVER
REALLY TALKED ABOUT

WHAT WENT DOWN THAT DAY
FRESHMAN YEAR,

BUT THE THING IS,
I TRIED TO STOP THEM.

IT WAS A RAW DEAL, MAN.

I JUST WISH YOU AND I
COULD GET BACK
TO HOW WE USED TO BE,

ALWAYS CHILLING.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, MAN?

SCORCH!

SCORCH!

HEH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
WANT TO HELP DEREK

AFTER WHAT HE DID TO YOU,
DID TO US!

CHARLIE, IT DID NOT
HAPPEN THE WAY WE
THINK IT DID,

AND BESIDES,
IT'S TIME
TO MOVE ON.

I'VE BEEN RUNNING
SOME TESTS,

AND I THINK WE MIGHT
BE DAMAGING

THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM.
WITH ALL OUR TIME TRAVEL,

AND THAT COULD CAUSE
SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES

TO OUR FUTURE
OR EVEN THE PLANET'S.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO DEREK
IN THAT GAME

IS ACTUALLY
OUR FAULT
INDIRECTLY.

HE'S RIGHT,
KOOKABURRA.

CHESTER'S LIKE
A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON

AFTER YOU RESCUED HIM
IN THE LOCKER ROOM.

EXCELLENT POINT,
JEANETTE.

IS IT ME,
OR HAVE I TOTALLY
LOST CONTROL

OF THIS PROJECT.

YOU'VE LOST
CONTROL, BRO.

OHH!

[CRASH]

SORRY I'M LATE.

ACTIVATING GRID.

AH, YES, WE MUSTN'T
FORGET THE GRAPPLING HOOK.

EVERYBODY'S GOT TO
MAKE FUN OF THE HOOK.

WON'T BE SORRY.

[WHOOSH]

AAH!

WHEEEE!

OHH! AAH!

I WILL NEVER GET
TIRED OF THAT.

YEAAAH!

WHOA, WHOA!

AAH!

[GRUNTING]

HEY, GUYS,
YOU SEEN THIS?

HA HA! UNH!

A LITTLE HELP, GUYS.

GUYS, A LITTLE HELP.

[CROWD CHEERING ON TV]

Announcer: DEREK BEAUGARD
LOSES THE BALL.

THERE'S A FUMBLE
ON THE PLAY!

AND HAMILTON'S GOT IT,
AND THE HORNETS WIN!

YEAH!

SO BECAUSE YOU TOOK
THIS TAPE WITH YOU

WHEN YOU JUMPED
BACK IN TIME...

IT STILL EXISTS.
PRETTY CLEVER, HUH?

THIS IS CRAZY, MAN.

I MEAN, VIRG,
YOU'RE THE MAN.

I GOT TO TELL
THE GUYS ABOUT THIS.

NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

NO. THIS IS
WAY TOO BIG.

THIS HAS GOT TO
STAY BETWEEN US.

YEAH, YEAH.
NO WORRIES, BROTHER,

BUT WE GOT TO CELEBRATE.

I MEAN, TOMORROW,
WE'RE PARTYING AT MY HOUSE,

AND, VIRG,
YOU GOT TO BE THERE.

OHH. I WANT TO.
I CAN'T, THOUGH.

I'M HANGING OUT
WITH CHARLIE.

THE WEATHER NETWORK
IS COUNTING DOWN

THE TOP 1 HAILSTORMS
OF ALL TIME.

I DIDN'T
REALIZE HOW LAME
OF AN EVENING

THAT WAS UNTIL
I SAID IT OUT LOUD.

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

OH! THANK YOU.
THANKS.

SO YOU HAVING FUN?

OH, YEAH.
I HAVEN'T BEEN
TO A PARTY

SINCE I WAS 10,

AND I REMEMBER
THE PONY
THREW UP ON ME.

THAT WAS MY
BIRTHDAY PARTY.

OH.

I--I'M--

I'M KIDDING.

GOOD.

SO I GUESS YOU'RE
GOING TO THE DANCE
ON SATURDAY.

YEAH, I GUESS.

YOU DON'T SOUND
HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I DON'T KNOW.
DEREK AND I GO
TO EVERY PARTY,

EVERY SOCIAL GATHERING.

IT'S REALLY A SICKNESS
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

I DON'T KNOW.
BEING POPULAR SEEMS

LIKE A VERY
SATISFYING WAY
OF LIFE.

I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT.

SOMETIMES, I WONDER
IF I CHOSE THE RIGHT PATH.

I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.

YOU DON'T SEEM TO MIND
THAT YOU'RE...

UM...

CAPTAIN
OF THE DORKS?

I WASN'T GONNA
SAY IT LIKE THAT,

BUT SERIOUSLY,
YOU GUYS ALWAYS LOOK
LIKE YOU'RE HAVING

SO MUCH MORE FUN
THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.

REALLY? BECAUSE
FROM OUR SIDE,

IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU GUYS ARE HAVING
ALL THE FUN.

REALLY?

YEAH.

HEY, VIRG!

HEY!

SO GOOD PARTYING
WITH YOU AGAIN, MAN.

THANK THOSE
OTHER GUYS FOR ME,

WHAT'S HIS NAME,
THE BIG, SCARY GUY

AND THE LITTLE TWERP.

OH! DANG IT.
I FORGOT TO CANCEL
WITH CHARLIE.

HOLD ON.
LET ME CALL HIM.

Girl: STEPHANIE,
YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS.

EH, HE PROBABLY
FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT.

[MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING]

Virgil: CHARLIE,
HOW MANY MORE TIMES

DO I HAVE TO
APOLOGIZE?

212 TIMES OUGHT
TO DO IT.

CHARLIE, LISTEN.
I'M REALLY,
REALLY SORRY.

FINE. I FORGIVE YOU.

LOOK. I'M JUST
REALLY FRAZZLED.

I'M WORRIED
ABOUT THE TIME MACHINE

AND THE POSSIBLE
RIPPLE EFFECTS.

[BEEP BEEP]

HANG ON, DUDE.
I GOT ANOTHER CALL.

I'LL GET RID
OF THEM.

[SIGHS]

HELLO?

HEY, VIRGIL.
UM...

I CAN'T BELIEVE
I JUST--

STEPH, WHAT'S WRONG?

HE, UM, HE--

DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

[SIGHS]

Virgil: STEPH!
STEPH!

STEPHANIE!

[GRUNTS]

I HAVEN'T DONE THIS
SINCE EIGHTH GRADE.

THAT WASN'T--
THAT WASN'T
THERE BEFORE.

YOU COULD HAVE USED
THE FRONT DOOR.

YEAH, BUT WHAT FUN
WOULD THAT BE?

SO TELL ME,
WHAT HAPPENED?

SO DEREK GOT OUT
OF PRACTICE EARLY,

AND WHEN I WENT OVER
TO HIS HOUSE,

I SAW HIM KISSING
JOCELYN LEE.

OHH.

STEPH.

I KNEW IT, TOO.

I JUST DIDN'T WANT
TO BELIEVE IT.

I FEEL SO STUPID.

I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU
LIKE PISTACHIO NUTS,

BUT IN THE RUSH
TO GET OVER HERE,

I ACCIDENTALLY GOT
THE BAG OF PASTA SHELLS.

DO YOU HAVE ANY
MARINARA SAUCE?

HUH? WHA--NO.
I CAN GO--

I CAN GO GET SOME
IF YOU...

YOU'RE JOKING.

IT WAS REALLY
NICE OF YOU TO
COME OVER, VIRG.

YOU'RE
AN AMAZING FRIEND.

YEAH.

FRIEND.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

Derek: HEY. CAN WE
JUST TALK THIS OUT?

IT'S DEREK.

LISTEN. I'M GONNA
TALK TO HIM.

I HAVE TO END IT
ONCE AND FOR ALL.

GOOD LUCK.

HUH! UNH!

[MEOW]

I'M OK!

THESE REPEATED
IRREGULARITIES

ARE ALL MAINTAINING
HALF-LIFES

AFTER THEIR
PRIMARY INCIDENTS.

HA HA! IT'S TOTALLY
WEIRDSVILLE!

I MEAN,
IT'S SERIOUS, SIR,

AND ALL OF THE FLUCTUATIONS
ARE EMANATING DIRECTLY

FROM SUMMERTON HIGH SCHOOL.

ACTUALLY, I HAVE
A THEORY ABOUT THAT.

IT'S--WELL,
DOES THE DEPARTMENT

HAVE ANY CONTACTS
AT THE FBI?

Girl: YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE KIND OF SCARY
AND UNAPPROACHABLE.

CAN WE SIT WITH YOU?

Derek: YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE, MAN,

I MEAN, A GREAT ATHLETE,
HUGELY POPULAR.

I MEAN, IT'S LIKE--
IT'S LIKE PEOPLE EXPECT
ME TO PLAY THE FIELD

AND CHEAT ON--

WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

I DIDN'T CHEAT.

JOCELYN MADE
THE FIRST MOVE.

SHE KISSED ME,
BUT I DIDN'T
KISS HER BACK.

I MEAN, THAT DOES NOT
COUNT AS CHEATING.

THE THING IS--
AND THIS IS WHERE
YOU COME IN--

I WANT YOU TO GO
BACK IN TIME,

STOP STEPHANIE
FROM BUSTING ME
WITH JOCELYN.

WHAT?!

WHY SHOULD I?

BECAUSE I MADE
A BIG MISTAKE,

A HUGE ONE,

AND IT WILL NEVER
HAPPEN AGAIN,
I SWEAR TO YOU.

I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, YOU
REALLY HURT HER.

I KNOW. I KNOW,
AND I FEEL AWFUL,

BUT STEPH AND I HAVE
BEEN GOING OUT
FOR A LONG TIME NOW,

YOU KNOW, AND SHE'S
EVERYTHING A GUY
COULD EVER WANT.

I'VE LIKED THAT
THE 3 OF US HAVE BEEN
HANGING OUT AGAIN,

LIKE THE OLD DAYS,
AND IT COULD STILL
BE LIKE THAT, MAN.

COME ON, BUDDY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

LET ME THINK
ABOUT IT.

YEAH. YEAH, SURE.

[CAR APPROACHING]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

WHOA! HEY!
HOLD ON! HOLD UP!

Man: PUT ON
YOUR SEAT BELT!

[TIRES SQUEAL]

I'M TELLING YOU.
YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY,

BUT I CAN GIVE YOU
THE NAMES OF THE TWO--

I WAS GONNA GIVE
THEM FAKE NAMES.

I'D NEVER RAT
YOU GUYS OUT.

YEAH, RIGHT.

MR. KEEP ME ON HOLD
ALL NIGHT.

Man: GOOD AFTERNOON,
GENTLEMEN.

MY NAME IS AGENT REHNQUIST
OF THE FEDERAL BUREAU
OF INVESTIGATION.

I'M GONNA LET YOU BOYS
IN ON A SECRET,

A NATIONAL SECRET.

IN 1969 SHORTLY
AFTER THE APOLLO 11
MOON LANDING,

THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT
BEGAN FUNDING A NUMBER

OF NEW SCIENTIFIC PROJECTS.

ONE OF THESE PROJECTS
WAS TIME TRAVEL.

WHAT?!

TIME TRAVEL?

CRAZY. THAT'S, LIKE,
SO SCIENCE FICTIONY.

HOLLYWOOD BALONEY.
THAT'S--THAT'S NOT--

PROJECT TURNED UP
FEW RESULTS

AND WAS EVENTUALLY
SHUT DOWN,

THE FILES
NEVER AGAIN TOUCHED,

THAT IS,
UNTIL TWO MONTHS AGO

WHEN AN INDUSTRIOUS INDIVIDUAL
OR INDIVIDUALS

BROKE INTO
THE NASA MAINFRAME,

USING A COMPUTER WE TRACED
TO SUMMERTON HIGH SCHOOL.

ALL RIGHT! I--

WHAT MY FRIEND WAS
ABOUT TO SAY IS

THAT IF YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO CHARGE US
WITH ANYTHING,

YOU CAN'T
KEEP US HERE.

THAT'S RIGHT.
LOOK IT UP.

I TOOK A SEMESTER
OF GOVERNMENT.

GOT A B-.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND, SIR.

YOU'RE JUST LETTING
THEM GO?

WE'LL GET MORE INFORMATION
JUST BY WATCHING THEM.

YEAH, BUT NOW THEY
KNOW WE'RE WATCHING
THEM AND--

YES, SIR.
EXCELLENT PLAN.

OH, THIS IS BAD.
OHH. REAL BAD.

YEAH. WAY TO GO,
NAUGHTY NED.

THANKS TO YOU,
WE HAVE THE FBI
ON OUR BACKS.

ME?! I WANTED TO
STOP THIS WHOLE
THING WEEKS AGO,

BUT, NO,
YOU HAD TO USE IT

FOR YOUR OWN
PERSONAL GAIN!

CHARLIE'S RIGHT.
GOING TO PARTIES,

HANGING WITH THE POPULARS.

HEY. IF I REMEMBER
CORRECTLY,

YOU BENEFITED
FROM THIS, TOO.

HOW SO?

WE GAVE YOU A LIFE.

BEFORE US, YOU WERE
THIS BIG GUY

EVERYONE WAS
AFRAID OF.

YOU BETTER SHUT UP,
VIRGIL.

SEE?

YOU'RE BEING
MEAN, VIRGIL.

CHARLIE, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST GO HOME

TO YOUR COMPUTER
AND YOUR CAT?

I WILL!

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR
NEW LIFE AS
A POPULAR PERSON.

I'M OUT OF HERE, TOO.

I'M BETTER OFF
ON MY OWN.

I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

Charlie: WELL, THAT'S
THE LAST OF THE DATA.

UNFORTUNATELY, WE
WON'T HAVE AN ANSWER
UNTIL MORNING.

[MEOW]

WELL, EXCUSE ME
FOR NOT HAVING
A SUPERCOMPUTER!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

OH. HEY, DEREK.

WHAT DO YOU SAY,
VIRG?

YOU GONNA HELP ME
OUT, BUDDY?

YEAH, SURE, D-ROCK.

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

OHH!

GOOD MORNING, MAGPIE.
YOUR MOM LET ME IN.

IT IS SUCH A NICE DAY.
YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING,

MAYBE WE COULD GO
ON A WALK AND TALK

ABOUT OUR FUTURE
TOGETHER,

AND THEN--OH!
I'D LIKE TO HAVE
AN ORANGE HOUSE.

THE RESULTS!

YOU WOULDN'T EVEN
HAVE TO HAVE
AN ADDRESS THEN,

AND ON THE ENVELOPE,
YOU COULD JUST SAY,

"JEANETTE PAJULUSKI,
ORANGE HOUSE."

IT'S DONE!

Jeanette: OH, UM,
I'M NO SCIENTIST,

BUT THAT DOESN'T
LOOK GOOD.

WE CREATED A--A...

A? SPIT IT OUT,
BLUEBIRD!

A BLACK HOLE!

THAT'S BAD, RIGHT?

NOW AS THE TIMELINE
CONTINUES,

WE SEE AN INCREASED NUMBER
OF OCCURRENCES

HERE IN THE SUMMERTON AREA.

IF WE CAN ALL TURN
TO PAGE 47,

YOU CAN SEE WHERE
I'VE HIGHLIGHTED--

HEY! HEY!

Charlie: I LIED!

I STOLE THE FORMULA
FROM NASA,

AND, MAN, WE'VE BEEN
TIME TRAVELING ALL
OVER THE PLACE.

WAY AHEAD OF YOU,
MR. TUTTLE.

I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO MEET
DRS. CONNORS AND WINTHORPE

FROM THE SEISMOLOGY DEPARTMENT
AT PACIFIC TECH.

DOCTORS, THIS IS
CHARLES TUTTLE.

YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU,
9 YEARS OLD?

HE'S 14!

OH, WELL,
THAT'S BETTER.

NOW I DON'T FEEL
LIKE SUCH A LOSER.

SO YOU ALREADY
KNOW ABOUT
THE BLACK HOLE?

WHAT?

THE BLACK HOLE!

OH, I KNEW YOU GUYS
WERE UNDERFUNDED,
BUT COME ON!

THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS.
WE RAN THE WORST-CASE
SCENARIOS SEVERAL TIMES.

WE NEVER CAME UP
WITH A BLACK HOLE.

I SEE 5, 6 DECIMALS
THAT WEREN'T
CARRIED OVER.

OOPS.

YEAH. OOPS!

EACH TIME WE USED
THE MACHINE,

THE RIFT CREATED
IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM

DID NOT DISAPPEAR.

INSTEAD THE FLUCTUATIONS
BLENDED TOGETHER

TO CREATE ONE
GIANT BLACK HOLE,

AND THE WORST PART IS
THE BLACK WHOLE WILL SPREAD

UNTIL IT SWALLOWS UP
SUMMERTON,

THEN THE NORTHWEST,
THEN THE ENTIRE
UNITED STATES.

[GULP]

AND SO ON.

HOW MUCH TIME
TILL ZERO HOUR?

ACCORDING TO MY ESTIMATES,
WE HAVE...

WE HAVE LESS THAN 4 HOURS
TILL THE END OF THE WORLD.

OK, PEOPLE,
WE'RE GOING TO CODE RED.

GET WASHINGTON
ON THE PHONE NOW.

THERE MIGHT BE A WAY
TO REVERSE IT,

BUT IT'S A LONG SHOT.

WELL, LET'S
HEAR IT...SIR.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Stephanie:
I'M SO EXCITED

FOR THE DANCE
TONIGHT, VIRG.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'RE
COMING WITH ME.

HEY. WHAT ARE
FRIENDS FOR?

HEH! COME ON!

[FIFTIES ROCK 'N' ROLL PLAYING]

♪ HEY, LITTLE GIRL,
WHAT A SIGHT ♪

♪ SHE'S AS PRETTY
AS THE SEA IS WIDE ♪

♪ MY HEART STARTS BEATING
WHEN SHE WALKS BY ♪

♪ BUT SHE'S HOLDING HANDS
WITH SOME OTHER GUY... ♪

EVERYTHING SET?

UH, YEAH.
THE SUITS ARE
IN THE BASEMENT,

AND THEN WE'LL GO
THROUGH THE TUNNELS
UNDER THE CAFETERIA.

SWEET. WE'LL GO
AS SOON AS THEY
ANNOUNCE

THE WINNERS.

HEY, VIRGIL!

STEPH, DO YOU
BELIEVE THAT
A PERSON'S LIFE

CAN CHANGE
IN A SINGLE MOMENT,

SOMETIMES
FOR THE BETTER,

OTHERS
FOR THE WORSE?

YEAH, I GUESS.

THERE IS A MOMENT
IN ONE OF OUR LIVES

THAT'S
ABOUT TO CHANGE,

AND I DON'T KNOW IF
IT'S FOR THE BETTER
OR FOR THE WORSE.

VIRGIL, UM, I'M NOT
FOLLOWING.

UH, ATTENTION.

[MICROPHONE FEEDS BACK]

ATTENTION, EVERYONE.

IT'S TIME TO ANNOUNCE
THIS YEAR'S

KING AND QUEEN
OF THE DANCE,

BUT FIRST...

[AS ELVIS PRESLEY]
SONNY, RED, AND I

WANT TO FRY UP
SOME PEANUT BUTTER
AND BANANA SANDWICHES.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[NORMAL VOICE]
THAT'S ELVIS PRESLEY.

ANYONE?

COME ON. THAT WAS
A BRILLIANT--

WHATEVER.

STEPHANIE JAMESON
AND VIRGIL FOX,
GET UP HERE.

YOU WON.

OH! HA HA!

THIS IS SUCH
A SURPRISE.

NOT REALLY.
TO GUARANTEE
THAT WE'D WIN,

I WENT BACK IN TIME
AND STUFFED
THE BALLOT BOX.

WHAT?

MISS JAMESON
AND MR. FOX.

DON'T LET IT GO
TO YOUR HEAD.

THERE'S STILL TIME
FOR A RECOUNT.

♪ GOOD NIGHT, MY LOVE ♪

♪ I HAVE TO SAY GOOD NIGHT ♪

♪ I'LL HOLD YOU
IN MY DREAMS ♪

♪ UNTIL THE MORNING LIGHT ♪

SO, UM, DID YOU REALLY
STUFF THE BOX?

YEAH. I MEAN,
YOU SURE,

BUT WHO'D VOTE
FOR ME?

I WOULD.

THIS IS WEIRD.

YEAH.

WHY?

A GOOD WEIRD.

RIGHT.

HOW YOU CAN BE FRIENDS
WITH SOMEONE

FOR SO LONG
AND THEN...

IT'S DIFFERENT.

A GOOD DIFFERENT.

Derek: COME ON, BROTHER.
IT'S TIME TO GO.

UH, OH, ABOUT THAT.

I THINK I CHANGED
MY MIND.

NO. YOU PROMISED.

VIRGIL!

DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Boy: I KNEW DEREK
WOULD BE HACKED

ABOUT VIRGIL
BRINGING STEPHANIE.

FIGHT!

HEY! THERE'S A FIGHT!

[KIDS CHANTING, "FIGHT!"]

DEREK, WAIT UP.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

OH, MAN. COME ON.

STEPHANIE! STEPHANIE!

WHERE'S VIRGIL?

HE LEFT
WITH DEREK.

WHY?

DON'T TELL ME HE'S
GONNA TRAVEL BACK IN TIME.

OH, MY GOSH.
THAT'S WHAT
HE'S DOING.

HE MIGHT MAKE
THINGS WORSE!

EXCUSE ME!
UM, SORRY.

WORSE THAN THE END
OF THE WORLD?

SORRY! SORRY!

DEREK, I DON'T THINK
I CAN DO THIS.

WHAT? WHY?

STEPHANIE. I JUST--
I JUST THINK...

DUDE, DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO
STEAL MY GIRL.

WE'RE FRIENDS.
I MEAN, BUDDIES DON'T
DO THAT TO EACH OTHER.

Charlie: VIRGIL!
VIRGIL FOX!

VIRGIL, WE HAVE
A SMALL PROBLEM.

WE HAVE LESS THAN AN HOUR
TO SAVE THE PLANET!

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

Tolkan: WELL, WELL,
WHAT DO WE HAVE
HERE, HMM?

LOOKS TO ME LIKE
THE BEGINNINGS
OF A FRACAS.

WHAT?

A FRACAS.
IT'S A FIGHT.

WE'LL SORT OUT ALL
THE DETENTIONS LATER.

RIGHT NOW, ALL
OF YOU GET BACK
IN THE GYM.

EVERYONE MOVE!

Rehnquist: EVERYONE FREEZE!

FBI.

STOP. CIA.

BUREAU OF WEIGHTS
AND MEASURES.

IN THE FUTURE, YOU
SHOULD PROBABLY GO FIRST.

[RUMBLING]

[THUNDER]

[THUNDER]

VIRGIL, THAT'S WHAT
I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
COME ON!

[THUNDER]

WE NEED TO GET
THESE PEOPLE OUT
OF HERE NOW!

Virgil: SO WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO GO INSIDE THE BLACK HOLE
AND CLOSE IT?

AS FAR AS I CAN
FIGURE, IT'S
THE ONLY WAY.

WE'LL TAKE
THE REMOTE PACK
WITH US

AND REVERSE
THE POLARITY
ONCE WE LAND.

WHAT REMOTE PACK?

I'VE BEEN WORKING
ON A NEW WAY

TO CONTROL OUR JUMPS
FROM THE OTHER SIDE.

OK. HOLD THE PHONE.

WE CANNOT LET THESE
STUDENTS GO IN THAT THING.

THEY COULD DIE!

WE HAVE NO CHOICE.

THEY'RE THE ONLY
ONES FAMILIAR WITH
THE EQUIPMENT.

IF THEY DON'T GO,
THEN WE COULD
ALL DIE.

GODSPEED.

[THUNDER]

YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M THE ONE WHO MESSED
EVERYTHING UP.

I'LL GO ALONE.
CHARLIE AND ZEKE HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS?

I INVENTED IT!

I HELPED!

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YEAH, I DID.

YOU PAINTED. THAT'S IT.

EXCUSE ME.

NO! NO, YOU DIDN'T.

Rehnquist: OK, OK.
ENOUGH, ENOUGH!

YOU'LL BOTH GO.

YOU'LL BE NEEDING
ME, TOO, SIR,

AND MY HOOK.

YAAH!

[CHEERING]

LISTEN, GUYS.

ONCE WE REVERSE
THE WORMHOLE'S POLARITY,

THERE'S NO WAY OF MEASURING
HOW QUICKLY IT WILL CLOSE.

IT COULD STAY OPEN
FOR SEVERAL MORE MINUTES,

OR IT COULD VANISH
INSTANTANEOUSLY,

AND EVEN IF WE DO
MAKE IT BACK ALIVE,

THERE'S NO GUARANTEE
WE'LL RETURN EXACTLY
TO THE POINT IN TIME

THAT WE EXITED FROM.

AYE, AYE,
SEÑOR POSITIVE.

GOOD LUCK, ZEKE.

OHH!

SO, VIRGIL, I HEAR
YOU'RE TRYING TO
SAVE THE WORLD.

THAT'S RIGHT.
YOUR BIG BROTHER'S
PRETTY COOL, HUH?

WHEN YOU DIE,
CAN I HAVE YOUR ROOM?

MINE IS WAY TOO SMALL
AND--

BYE, AMY!

Jeanette: CHARLIE.
CHARLIE, UM, COME BACK
IN ONE PIECE, OK?

COME ON, CHARLIE.
WE GOT TO GO.

CHARLIE.

CHARLIE?

THERE WE GO.
THANKS, ZEKE.

VIRGIL.

[THUNDER]

LISTEN. I JUST--
WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THERE,

JUST I WANT YOU TO KNOW--

HEY, MAN. GOOD LUCK
WITH EVERYTHING.

YEAH. GREAT.

JUST, UM...

JUST BE CAREFUL, OK?

[CROWD CHANTING, "MINUTEMEN!"]

AT LEAST THEY
FINALLY GOT
THE NAME RIGHT.

LET'S DO THIS, FELLAS!

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

WHOA! COOL!

[SCREAMING]

[GROANS]

[CHARLIE COUGHING]

WOW! SPACE MEN!

I THINK WE LANDED
IN MUNCHKINLAND.

COOL WHAT UP,
MUNCHKINS?

ACTUALLY, WE'RE
ACROSS TOWN
AT THE PARK.

WHAT PLANET DID
YOU COME FROM?

DID YOU COME
FROM NEPTUNE?

DO PEOPLE
FROM NEPTUNE
EAT MACARONI?

I LOVE MACARONI.
IS MACARONI,
A VEGETABLE?

Zeke: BEAT IT, KID.
WE'RE WORKING HERE.

OK. SET UP
THE ANTENNA.

BEGINNING
REVERSAL SEQUENCE.

COME ON.

Boy: WOW! SWEET!

LOOKS GOOD.

RATE OF INCREASE
IS SLOWING.

THE VORTEX'S PLANE
IS DECREASING.

[THUNDER]

STABILIZATION
ACHIEVED!

I THINK WE DID IT!

HA!

WE HAVE 20 MINUTES
TILL THE VORTEX
TOUCHES THE GROUND.

THEN WE CAN
JUMP BACK.

HEY, GUYS. TODAY'S
SEPTEMBER 3, 2005.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
FRESHMAN YEAR.

THAT'S THE DAY--

THE INCIDENT.

THE INCIDENT.

OF COURSE!
THIS IS THE DAY

THAT A MODULE
OF QUANTA ACCELERATION

FIRST INTERACTED
WITH THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM.

THE ROCKET CAR,
REMEMBER?

IT LIKED THE WORMHOLE
FROM OUR PRESENT

TO THIS MOMENT
IN THE PAST.

IN A FEW MOMENTS,
OUR YOUNGER SELVES--

UH, DUDE.

DON'T DO IT, VIRGIL.

VIRG, NO!

VIRG, COME ON.

ARE YOU HONESTLY THINKING
OF STOPPING

WHAT'S GOING ON
DOWN THERE?

WHY NOT?

ISN'T THAT WHAT
MINUTEMEN DO,

UNDO MISTAKES?

WELL, I MADE
A MISTAKE
DOWN THERE.

I HAVE A CHANCE
TO BE SOMEBODY.

OK, BUT KNOW THIS.

WHAT HAPPENED DOWN THERE
IS WE BECAME FRIENDS.

THAT DAY THAT WE WERE
TIED UP TOGETHER

ON THAT STUPID
RAM STATUE,

THIS DAY,

THIS DAY THAT YOU
HATE SO MUCH

JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT
A LITTLE EMBARRASSED,

THIS IS MY FAVORITE DAY.

EVEN THOUGH I'D
STILL BE A NERD,

IT DIDN'T REALLY
MATTER ANYMORE

BECAUSE NOW I HAD
A REAL FRIEND.

THAT WOULD ALWAYS MAKE
EVERYTHING OK.

SO MUCH FOR ALWAYS,
I GUESS.

LISTEN. LISTEN, VIRG,
YOU DO WHAT YOU
GOT TO DO HERE,

AND IF THINGS AREN'T
THE SAME ON THE OTHER SIDE,

IT'S BEEN A GOOD RIDE.

Derek: HEY, GUYS, WAIT.

YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT

BECAUSE I'VE GOT
A MUCH BETTER IDEA.

I MEAN, WHY DON'T WE
SMEAR THIS ALL OVER THEM?

[CHEERING]

LOSERS!

[BEEPING]

NO! NO!

THE CLOSURE RATE
OF THE VORTEX JUST
WENT INTO OVERDRIVE.

HOLD ON.
YOU'RE TELLING ME--

IF THAT THING
TOUCHES THE GROUND,

WE'LL BE TRAPPED
HERE FOR GOOD.

WHAT ABOUT VIRGIL?

THERE'S NO WAY WE'LL
MAKE IT TO HIM

AND BACK
TO THE VORTEX
IN TIME!

CHARLIE!
CHARLIE, GET UP!

GET UP, CHARLIE.
WE GOT TO KEEP
MOVING!

LET'S GO!

WE'RE NEVER GONNA
MAKE IT!

[THUNDER]

WE'RE A MILE WAY.
WE'RE STUCK
IN THE PAST FOREVER.

[ENGINE BACKFIRES]

MAN, YOU DO NOT
WANT TO GO BACK THERE.

KID'S GETTING ROUGHED UP
BY SOME FOOTBALL PLAYERS.

IT'S REAL UGLY.

YOU DON'T SAY?

AT FIRST, I FELT
KIND OF SORRY

FOR THE DORKY KID,

BUT I REALIZED,
WHAT'S HE NEED ME FOR?

GOT HIMSELF
A GREAT FRIEND
DOWN THERE.

SOMEDAY, HE'LL HAVE
OTHER GREAT FRIENDS, TOO.

SCORCH!

SCORCH!

YOU KNOW, LET'S COME UP
WITH OUR OWN HANDSHAKE.

CAN WE GO NOW
BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T

FEEL LIKE REPEATING
THE LAST 3 YEARS
OF HIGH SCHOOL.

GOOD IDEA.
GO, GO, GO, GO!

SEAT BELTS!

[HORN HONKS]

LOOK OUT!

WHOA!

[SCREAMING]

CAR!

[HORN HONKING]

CAR!

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

OH, MY GOSH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT AM I DOING?

THAT WAS MARTIN STREET.

THE VORTEX IS BACK
THAT WAY!

OH, MY BAD!

WE'RE NEVER GONNA
MAKE IT!

NO PROBLEM!

[SCREAMING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

YEAH! GRAPPLING HOOK!

YEAH! GRAPPLING HOOK!

HIGH-FIVE!

KEEP YOUR HAND
ON THE WHEEL!

GO VIRGIL!

GO! WE'RE NOT
GONNA MAKE IT!

WE'RE NOT GONNA
MAKE IT!

WE'RE NOT GONNA
MAKE IT!

MINUTEMEN, ROCK!

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTING]

WHERE'S MY ROCKET CART?

[COUGHS]

WHAT DAY IS IT?

THAT IS IT!

NO MORE TIME TRAVEL!

OK. UP. YOU ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE
JOGGING.

NOW NOBODY LOAFS
IN MY GYM CLASS.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND PLENTY.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE
NOT JOGGING,

SO LET'S MOVE IT,
BOYS.

LET'S GO!
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

STAR JOGGING!
MOVE IT, MOVE IT,
MOVE IT!

I HAVE GOT TO GET
ONE OF THOSE
COOL JOGGING SUITS.

A SMOKING TIRE?

Tolkan: ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
NO LOITERING IN THE HALLWAYS.

LET'S MOVE IT ALONG.

GO. SCHNELL, SCHNELL!

I AM DEFINITELY GOING
TO INSTITUTE A DRESS CODE
IN THIS PLACE.

SEE, STEPH?
THAT'S WHY I
NEED HER HELP.

I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

I SAID, "MY BOYFRIEND IS
A LYING CHEESEBRAIN."

COME ON, STEPH.

DEREK, I'M TRYING
TO STUDY.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

THE IS THE FIRST DAY
THAT WE TIME TRAVELED,

THE DAY WE TRIED
TO WIN THE LOTTERY.

WOW! NICE OUTFITS,
BOZOS.

HEY, DEREK.

HAVE FUN WITH JOCELYN.

WH--WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

I FIGURE YOU'RE
BOTH SO GOOD
WITH LIPSTICK

YOU'LL MAKE
A PERFECT MATCH.

YOU WERE ALWAYS
GONNA BE A DORK
ANYWAYS, VIRGIL.

AND YOU WERE
ALWAYS GONNA BE
A JERK, DEREK.

HAVE A NICE LIFE.

[WHISPERING]
Charlie.

LADIES.

OH! WHAT'S NEW,
COCKATOO?

WOW! YOU LOOK LIKE
A SUPERHERO.

THANKS, PUMPKIN.

[GRUNTS]

You've never
kissed her before.

The scene
in the hallway
hasn't happened yet.

OH, RIGHT!

JEANETTE, I--I'M SORRY.

I WAS JUST--
I CAN EXPLAIN!

HEY. IT'S OK.

UH, STEPH.

OH, HEY.

YOU DIDN'T SEE ME
IN HERE BEFORE,
DID YOU?

NO, AND, UM, WHAT'S
WITH THE WEIRD SUIT?

OH. I WAS JUST
REHEARSING A LITTLE
SCHOOL PLAY

ABOUT TIME TRAVEL,
AND IT KIND OF
GOT ME THINKING,

IF I REALLY COULD
GO BACK IN TIME,
WHAT WOULD I CHANGE?

UH, SNOWSUIT?

IT WOULD TELL
STEPHANIE HOW I
REALLY FEEL ABOUT HER.

THAT I THINK
SHE'S GREAT.

REALLY?

YEAH.

AND IF I COULD
GO BACK IN TIME,

I THINK I'D TELL VIRGIL
THE SAME THING.

[BELL RINGING]

Charlie: VIRGIL, VIRGIL!

WHAT, WHAT?

WHAT DOES THE WORLD
TELEPORTATION MEAN TO YOU?

HUH?

IT'S THE NEXT BIG THING,
BIGGER THAN TIME TRAVEL!

IT'S A WHOLE NEW
TRANSPORTATION PARADIGM.

WE STILL HAVE
THE SLIDE PROJECTOR--

[MUFFLED]

I'LL CALL YOU.

TIME TRAVEL!

NO, CHARLIE.

STEPHANIE, STEPHANIE!
LISTEN!

CHARLIE, BLACK HOLES.
NO MORE--

HE LIKES YOU!
HE'LL LISTEN!

WE'D STOP GLOBAL WARMING.

NO, CHARLIE.

Virgil: SO WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO GO INSIDE THE BLACK HOLE
AND CLOSE IT?

AS FAR AS I CAN
FIGURE, IT'S
THE ONLY WAY.

WE'LL TAKE
THE REMOTE PACK
WITH--

[HIP-HOP PLAYING]

♪ WHOA, P-P-PARTY ♪

♪ PUT YOUR HANDS UP,
PUT YOUR HANDS UP ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY,
PUT YOUR HANDS UP ♪

♪ OH, P-P-PARTY ♪

♪ PUT YOUR HANDS UP,
PUT YOUR HANDS UP ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

Man: THAT'S A CUT.

♪ OH, P-P-PARTY ♪

♪ PUT YOUR HANDS UP,
PUT YOUR HANDS UP ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY,
PUT YOUR HANDS UP ♪