Mindless (2006) - full transcript

"I was always facing explusion from school
because of my behaviour"

(In a heavy Russian accent)
You better dress up tomorrow!
The news show is doing a story on us!

And you, Jaansoo, wear your suite!

- You mean suit?
- Yes, wear your suit!

"Learn, learn and learn!" - V. I. Lenin

"I got my degree in chemistry,
since it had the least competition"

"Actually, I mostly just horsed around"

"A girl from my class was getting married
and the groom was a real practical joker"

May I have your attention, please?
Here's a little surprise

"The groom really wanted me to kidnap
the bride as a prank"

"So I did"



"And in the end,
the bride chose me over him"

"She became my wife"

I'm just explaining why I want the Honourable
Court to sentence me to life in prison

MINDLESS

"Silence, please"

Please continue

"Then I got a job, doing this and that, until I
partnered up with a friend in the early 90s"

"We started importing cellphones"

"Mostly Nokia"

"We started out with a desk and two chairs..."
- (On the phone) "Toomas speaking"

"...but then came the secretaries, cars,
houses, loans..."

"...leases, deals, real estate, Kenya,
Thailand, New Year's parties in Cuba..."

"...yachts, golf, clubs, platinum cards"

"This went on for 10 years"



"Until I snapped"

Yes, Tom, yes!
Take a look at this

"Toomas Jaansoo - the sole retailer
of Nokia in the Baltic States"

I don't know who you had to
blow for this, but it worked

Hey, how about celebrating tonight?

We could go to a night club
or rent a sauna

- You know Ester won't let you
- What's Ester got to do with it?

We'll only be gone for an hour.
We have reason to celebrate

"What do you mean you 'snapped'?"

I think, at one point, most of us
question the purpose of our lives

For me it was during that elevator ride

What happened in that elevator?

I had always reassured myself that
"it's that one last push"...

...and then I'll really start living my life

This one last project and then...

But what if this "and then" never comes?

Congratulations!

Today, I was in a fitting room
and I looked so ugly

Ugly from the front, ugly from the back.
Tolerable from the side

But it was still really horrible

- Hey!
- Oh, hi Miku!

What's going on?

I'm the sole retailer!

Nokia, Nokia, Nokia!

I'm the king of the Baltics

Over here!

Did I tell you what happened
in a fitting room today?

I looked so ugly!

Ugly from the front, ugly from the back.
Tolerable from the side

But still ugly!

I really wanted these trousers,
they were just my colour

Really well tailored

Who the hell can fit into these?

Even the sales girl thought I was
too fat for these trousers

- She actually said that?
- No, but I could tell by her sneer

They were even bigger than my
usual size, but still didn't fit me

So I bought the smallest size
just to spite her

I think I'll go on a diet

Anu, I have a funny story for you

- Is it dirty?
- Not too dirty

You know I haven't had a real vacation
for almost 10 years?

I know

So I thought...

I've been working really
hard all this time

So I thought I would take
the whole year off

That's a great idea

And I'll go somewhere remote,
by myself. For a year or so

Don't worry about money,
I have it all worked out

And what are you going to do there,
all by yourself?

I don't know.
But I think that...

For the entire year?

That's the plan, but it's not set in stone.
It's not like I'm going to prison

So what do you think?

You'll have to tell Tanel yourself

Tanel

Toomas speaking

You found one?

Yes, but does it have a lake
like we discussed?

I'm on my way

Mr Jaansoo?

Hello, I have just the place for you
- That's great

Follow my car

I see you've already got the car
for these rough roads

So what do you think?

Remote countryside,
3-phase electricity, running water...

...driven well, geothermal heat pump.
It's a genuine ecovillage

What about the lake?

We'll knock down these trees
and make one

Since your property will face
the lake, it will cost extra.

Excuse me.
This is Eco Real Estate

As promised - beautiful surroundings,
800m from the seaside

Ilmaotsa
(the edge of the world)

Which way is the highway?

- Take this road, turn right...
- That road's been closed for ages

- Go past the mill, near the irrigation ditch
- Just take the same road back

Are there any houses for sale
in this area?

Just the one the guy in
the tractor is selling...

...but he's not right in the head

- Shush!
- Don't shush me!

You shouldn't say stuff
like that to a stranger

Lovely weather today!

The day is still young

Do you live around here?

You call this living?

I'd like to buy a place here

- Here?
- Yeah

Ever since my dad's death,
the house has been empty

My wife took off with our
daughter long before

And where is this house?

Just past Asta's place

- Asta who?
- Asta, the late miller's wife

I should have mentioned -
I'm not from around here

- So where are you from?
- Tallinn

Do you know Jaan, the blacksmith?
He did some construction work there

Actually, I think I do

Do you have enough money?

- I have a little
- You won't get far on "a little"

Let's get in the car

We're going to talk business

Nice set of wheels you've got.
I used to drive a T40 tractor

Then the government took it away
and now I'm unemployed

- Can't you get another job?
- Not as a tractor driver

- So what's your place called?
- P??sj?rve (Lakeway)

- So there's a lake?
- Almost on my doorstep

- Is it remote?
- As remote as it gets

How much are you willing to pay?

200 thousand, but I'll need
to see it beforehand

I don't want to rip you off. Let's say
50 thousand and a case of beer?

- It's got a roof, right?
- Evertyhing's shipshape!

You've got the lake for fresh water.
No electricity, inaccessible road

Have the place for tonight and
come find me in the morning

Ask for J?ri, that's me.
Then we'll work out the paperwork

- Why wait that long?
- So you don't want the house?

- No, I still want it. Let's go
- Wait

Ilmaotsa Municipal Office

Thank you, Tiiu

So, P??sj?rve
- Yes

- He has no right to sell this land
- How so?

His pop used to live there, right?
But it's always been municipal land

- Now what?
- Nothing. The deal's off

Can't we work something out?

No

This house doesn't legally exist,
there is no paperwork for it

You'd have to outsmart the system

- But it can be done?
- It's really complicated

- You're top dog around here
- I wouldn't say that

J?ri, have Tiiu make you
a cup of coffee

This is Tanel's father.
Is he there?

Yes, he's here

Tanel, it's your father

Tanel...

I might be going away for a while

OK

Maybe even for the whole year

I'll still send you money.
Twice as much

OK

You can have my car

You'll come visit me?
- Sure

- I can't drive any further
- I see

It's nice and warm here

I'm Uugu.
From the M?eselja farm

I hope it rains

- Why?
- Just planted some potatoes

Oh bugger, I forgot to do that

- There's no electricity
- That's right

My sister lives in Tallinn with her
2 kids. Her husband left them

- It happens
- Yes, it does

They live in a flat on Marksi street

My son works in a laundromat
in Tapa, doing a woman's work

He bought himself a car
- That's nice

That's what I said

My wife hanged herself

- What happened?
- It was just before Christmas

We bought some cheap meat
from Meinart

We were slicing it up for headcheese
and I said to keep the rind

Later I found her hanged in the cellar

There are plenty of mushrooms in the fall.
And you can ask me for potatoes

So what do you do?
Are you some kind of businessman?

I'm a man of faith

This used to be old Julius' place

- J?ri's father?
- That's right

Thanks

Julius once called me a good man

You know what, Uugu?

You are a good man

I should get going

Wake up!
2 AM

So where will we do this?
Here or indoors?

- Do what?
- I'm not sure myself

I brought you some ham
- Thanks. How much is it?

It's token of my gratitude.
A down payment

I'm not sure I understand

Uugu said you really helped him,
turned his life around. I'm Meinart

- What else did he say?
- That you uttered some wise words

Said he'd bring you a sack of potatoes.
So I brought the ham, if that's okay

That's just fine

Let's get started

- Should I take off my shoes?
- Yes, of course

Go ahead and talk
- I don't know what to say

- What do you do?
- Nothing really. Keep some cattle

I have some savings, but not
enough to move to the city

- What's so great about the city?
- Not sure. But there's lots of people

- They don't care if you come or not
- Don't I know it. They couldn't care less

Actually, I don't want to move.
I've stopped wanting anything

My old lady has run out of things
to order from the catalogue

They come by mail, but they're never
as pretty as the picture

I don't want anything. I just work on
my farm and try to get through the day

I've forgotten how to want something.
I feel like nobody needs me

I sold some land and we had money
for awhile

So we'd order trinkets like clocks
and coffee makers

The best part's the waiting and worrying.
And finally you get to unwrap the box

But that's it. And then
you order something else

She really loves it

The rest of the time we watch TV.
And I drink now and again

But sometimes she gets angry and hits me

- Why?
- She can't stand me

She just watches her telenovelas.
Won't even tend to the animals

She only hits me when I'm drunk.
Doesn't like it when I get chatty

- How do you feel about her?
- Can't stand her either, but...

...she used to be a real looker

I can still picture her working
on the collective farm

Her skirt riding up, her hair sweaty

I've never seen a more beautiful woman

I could never hit her back

- You still love her?
- I do

- And your animals?
- I love them as well

- And your piece of land?
- That too

I never thought of it that way
- What else could you want?

That's my problem.
I don't want anything

If you have love, you don't need
to want anything else

- So what should I do?
- Nothing

Just believe that you're happy

- How do I do that?
- Say it out loud

- Right now?
- Yes

- "I'm happy". Like that?
- Say it again

- I am happy
- More boldly

- I am happy
- More loudly

I AM HAPPY!

I AM HAPPY!!

Don't tell anyone about this
- You'll tell them yourself

Are you crazy?

Does this mean I'm happy?
- Yes

Meinart!

Hold onto this acorn until you're home
- Will do

Can I drink sometimes?
- Sometimes. If you hold the acorn

I got it

And if the missis hits me?
- Then forgive her - Great!

What are you looking at?

I came to stay the night

I didn't come here to sleep with you

But if it turns out that way - no harm done

I'm not a virgin

And my erogenous zones are...

...here...

...here...

...and here as well

And I may hurt you a bit

- Hurt me?
- Let's just see how it turns out

I know what men like.
It's...

always the same

What's that "man of faith" thing about?

- Nothing really
- There has to be something

Are you shy about it?
- No

I speak words that are not my own
- So you are shy

I thought you're a pagan. With a
pendulum and all that

I guess I was wrong

The people whose words you speak
probably want you to speak them

I think it's high time people started
believeing in someone or something

- Why?
- Just cuz

I believe in you.
You have to pursue this

Think about rituals. And your clothing

And people like religions with names

- What people?
- The ones who're coming here

Wednesday at 3

There's a spot nearby.
You'll know which one

Maybe no one will come.
You've been alone all this time?

Yes

Want to get laid?

I bet you're married.
Is that a problem?

- What's your name?
- Silly Sally

It's nice and bright here

Don't you want to see me?

I do

Show me your stomach

Touch me

That's enough for today - Why?
- Just cuz

I have lots more to show
- My head's throbbing

- Which head? - You know which one
- Good

There'll be no funny business tonight
- Why? - Just cuz

I'm keeping my clothes on, as are you.
And keep your hands to yourself

I'll come back here
- When?

When I do, just pin me to
the doorpost and kiss me

You sleep on this side

I like the light

Our souls come from the light

We were born from the light

From a dazzling light

We're still connected to that light

Like a lightbulb connected to a battery
that grows fainter by the day

And finally it goes out

The light of our souls also needs recharging

We charge it by living lives
full of good deeds and thoughts

So we can return as bright as ever

If a bee spends the day gathering nectar...

...but returns with a sack full of tar...

...he won't get into the hive

He'll buzz around the hive,
"let me in, let me in!"

But he won't get in. He realizes his
mistake, but it's a little too late

And what becomes of him?
- He's left alone and withers and dies

That's right! He's left alone and dies!
And it's the same with us

Our first prayer is a prayer of thanks

We have nothing to ask for,
we've got everything we need

I'll knock 12 times for the light
to hear my gratitude

- Take a seat
- Thanks

Please sit down

What's going on?

- So this is it?
- That's right

- Do you get a lot of visitors?
- Just the local guys

- And what do you talk about?
- I'm the local bringer of faith

- A what?
- A bringer of faith

- I dance for them
- For whom?

For everyone interested in my religion

Want to see me dance?

Take this

Give me a beat
- What kind? - Doesn't matter

Maybe I should sing too? I have no lyrics,
but what about this melody?

What do you think?

Maybe something more melodic?
- It's fine. It suits the dance

It's great to talk to you. Come,
I'll show you the anthill

Don't you want to know about home?

- How is it?
- Great. Tanel has a girlfriend

- Pretty?
- Plain

I better get going
- I'll walk with you

How does the heating system work?

Miku can't figure it out
- Miku?

Yes, he offered to help

It's on automatic

You didn't kiss me on the doorstep

No! It wouldn't be the same

You just couldn't wait

Why was the other night so pathetic?
- Pathetic?

- We were like an old married couple
- You said "no funny business"

You should've known I didn't mean it.
It wasn't the time for gallantry

- Why?
- Just cuz

I was there for your ritual

You made it too complicated and
you didn't say you're a messenger

But your faith was strong
- A messenger?

And you left out the most important thing

A child won't hesitate to throw
a tantrum to get what he wants

But adults are used to giving up

You can have me if you want

Take me!
Or I'll leave

Have your slaves clear up the road!
It's a real motherfucker!

- Good old Pets!
- Hi, Tom

Sweet digs you've got here

I'm sweating like a pig.
I bought this coat especially

Breathable fabric my ass!

Boy what a trip it is to take
the SUV on these roads

I did some sick 180s.
It's pure speed here

Shush! Come listen to this

Now you try it
- How?

- Like it's the door to your sweetheart
- You mean Ester? - It's up to you

Oh, I've got it

Well, was that OK?

Very good

Just lovely
- Anu didn't mention the knocking

- So what did she say?
- Mentioned the anthills

- What else?
- That there are ants and stuff

- Did you know I'm the messenger?
- No, I hadn't heard

- I understand everything
- Really?

- I dance for them
- You don't say

Sounds cool

I better get going

Oh, I almost forgot about this
- What is it?

- I need your signature
- Should I read it?

- If you like
- Give me the gist of it

It just makes business easier.
Since you're never at the office

So I'm giving you my share of the business
for the time being?

Wonderful.
You're a true friend

- Well, you've taught me to be charitable
- That's right

This will only take a second.
Just sign each page

There's also a paragraph about
you being of sound mind

- Great. But first, let's do a dance of thanks
- Why not

I'll knock and you'll dance

So I'll...?

Nope

Yeah

Was that OK?

Thank you.
You're still able to surprise me

Give me a pen
- Of course

Don't you have one?
- I don't think so

Well, that's 10 years down the drain

Fuck
Goddamnit!

It's this fucking new coat!
Can't even find a stupid pen

Fucking cocksucker

Hey, I found one

Are there any women around here?

Yes

That's fucking awesome

300 kroons per week
10 000 kroons per 30 weeks
= lasts for 7 to 8 months

My people are here

Hello good people

Please come in
- We're just dropping by

I'm Leida

Eedu, from the Kuke farm.
My great-grandfather...

Zip it!

- Come in, please
- Yes, I think we will

Look, my late father made this table...

I told you to shut up!
No one cares about your stories

What's the weather forecast like?

- When the swallows start...
- Partially cloudless, variable wind, no rainfall

- So how are you?
- We've been gathering the light

Or was it brightness?

- Either one
- See, I told you...

Quiet!
I've been watching nature shows

- And I've been knocking diligently
- Yes, he's the knocker

It is necessary to knock all the time?

Just in the morning and evening.
But there's never too much

- Is that so?
- I told you so

- But at night?
- At night it's best to sleep

- That's right
- It's good to knock when I can't sleep

People are asking,
when's the next gathering?

- What day is it today?
- It's Sunday

- On Wednesay again
- Great. I'll let them know

Very good

- Why do I have to...
- Go on!

The thing is...
we have a delicate matter to discuss

- Don't beat around the bush!
- You tell him then

You're a very wealthy man

My great-uncle, my mother's uncle...
- Eedu!

What I mean is...
you're a very wealthy man

- What makes you think that?
- We keep our ears open

- The mayor put your name in the engine
- The search engine

And it said - "a very wealthy man,
worth millions"

And then the missis...
me and the missis thought...

...maybe you would be willing to give us...

...spare us...

...about 3000 kroons?
- If it's possible

What did you have in mind?

In mind?
Nothing fancy

We haven't thought that far

- You just want money? - Yes,
if it's not too much trouble - 3000

This is kind of a funny story.
I gave it all away a few days ago.

- Gave it away?
- Millions?

- Yes, millions
- To whom?

- To friends who needed it more
- Then why are you so happy?

Because I'm broke

Can you still give us the 3000?

Yes, I can

Here you go

How about another thousand?

Any more and I won't get through the winter

We...

...better head for home

Yes, don't let me keep you

Wait up!

- How are you?
- Wonderful. And you?

Who are you?
- Rommi

Rommi!

What does Rommi do?
- He's a doctor

- Ear, nose or throat?
- I'm a GP

Want me to open wide?

No, thanks, I'm not working.
Just passing by

I bet you're on a pilgrimage.
So the word's out?

- About what?
- That I'm the messenger

Pets was here
- Yes, I heard you had a blast

That's right. We danced

How is your sense of balance?

Why? You want a piggyback ride?

- Let's try to be civil - Of course,
I wouldn't want to upset the professor

Do you plan to visit the city any time soon?

I can't,
I'm waiting for a message

Maybe we could meet?
Have my card

I'll frame it

Rommi's an excellent doctor.
He has offices overseas

Well done

So what is this about?

Have you thought about getting a divorce?

No, I haven't

- Really?
- Really

I think we should

Great

Rommi!

Where do I sign?

I have my own pen

You've had this pre-approved by a notary?
Impressive

I've never managed to pull that off

And the money?
- Well, you have no use for it here

What if I won't sign?

Then we'll have you declared incompetent

Bravo!

Remember when I kidnapped you?

You were worth it

You never came for those potatoes.
I'm dropping them off myself

It was freezing, so I lit the stove

Don't let it get this way!

Why didn't anybody come?
- No idea

Uugu!

They think you've gone cuckoo

There's talk that you have burned
your money and killed your wife

Go on

No point in listening to a poor sap

But before?

You were rich then

Rich and worth listening to

Rich people know how the world works

I heard what you said about the light

Old Julius used to rant about
something similar

It's pretty useless

Better call someone a good man
or a fine woman

That's more than enough

Go away, Uugu

I understand

When my wife hanged herself,
I wanted to be alone as well

"...what you said about the light..."

"...a good man..."

"...be alone..."

"...Old Julius..."

"...I understand..."

"...my wife hanged herself..."

So...

...you mean to say that...

That I take full responsibility
for that plane crash and...

...want a life sentence

- "Nonsense"
- "Out of his mind"

Honourable Court

There is no record of such a crash
in Estonian airspace

Look, Mr Jaansoo...

...a person cannot control celestial bodies...

...cannot evoke natural disasters
like drought, rain...

Yes he can

If he really believes

There's a limit to our powers

No, there isn't

So you're able to evoke drought and rain?

Yes

Silence, please!

All right

Go ahead

One rain, please

I can't

I'm incapable of it

It's settled then

That's it!

I declare Toomas Jaansoo's case closed