Midnight Screening (2021) - full transcript
The employees of a movie theater meet their grisly demise while watching an advance screening of an upcoming release.
(ominous music)
(projector rattling)
(pensive music)
- I mean, $4 for a soda?
- I don't make the prices, sir.
- You and I both know
that the water and syrup
only costs 25 cents.
- Well, the movie you're about
to see
cost several million dollars to
make,
and you're seeing it for 10
bucks, so guess it evens out.
- Come on, let's just go.
- Enjoy the show.
(ominous music)
(reel squeaking)
(coin slot clanks)
(trash can rumbling)
(garbage crinkles)
- You know...
Why do we even give
people their ticket stubs?
Be easier if we just threw
them on the ground ourselves.
- Yeah, but if they didn't
throw 'em on the floor
you wouldn't have a job.
- Sure I would. I'd be the one
throwing them on the ground.
- Where's Sheila?
- Theater One.
- Have you stocked yet?
- No, I just had a
customer a few minutes ago.
- Hey, Fuller?
Why do we even give
customers their ticket stubs?
No one checks them and they
wind up on the ground anyways.
It'd be easier if we just dumped
them
on the floor ourselves.
- There you go, Kyle.
Now there's the question that
everyone
who's ever worked here has asked
me.
(suspenseful music)
- [Girl] This is so stupid.
- I knew this was coming.
I just wasted all of my money.
- Yeah, it was your choice.
- Well, it's not my fault. I
thought it was gonna be good.
- [Girl] Well, it's not, so...
(girls chattering)
(woman in film screams)
- [Woman in Film] Leave me
alone!
Go away! Please, stop!
- Hey, Alan. Where are
we at with Theater Three?
- It's on its last reel, man.
- Why do you still call it a
reel?
- 'Cause I'm old school. Digital
sucks.
- How's the bulb?
- It's about at max.
- All right, when it's done,
go ahead and change it out.
It was a little dim during the 7
o'clock.
- All right.
- I'm sorry, sir, we're closed.
- It's not that. Can I
talk to your manager?
- Yes sir, how can I help you?
- Look, I know you're busy,
and I don't want to waste your
time.
You got better things to do.
- Aw, it's no problem,
sir. What's going on?
- Well, there's some kids up
front.
The movie's almost over.
They won't shut the hell up.
- In Theater Three?
- Yeah, up front.
Waving their hands, acting all
crazy.
But look, can you do something
for me and talk to them?
'Cause if I do, it's not gonna
be cordial.
(ominous music)
- Sir, we'll take care of it.
Please go enjoy your movie.
Kyle, please do a head
count in Theater Three.
- [Man in Film] How many
other fucking customers
in this place do that?
And in the fucking bathroom,
ain't no fucking toilet paper.
How 'bout that soap?
That sand-ass soap that
kids have in high school.
I hate that shit!
Men's restroom ain't got
no fucking toilet paper,
but the women's, they got some
in there.
I know that for a fact. (Laughs)
I'm in a bar here!
I expect to have a glass
mug, cold glass mug!
You serve beer in plastic
cups and paper cups.
Who the hell does that shit?
I deserve that for being a
regular!
(audience members clap)
I want some fucking service!
(Laughs)
- Good.
(man laughing)
- [Man in Film] Why don't you
tell me?
Does Charlie really have
a little dick? (Laughs)
- [Man in Film] You can't
fucking hide from me!
(woman in film squeals)
- Can't you people watch a damn
movie
without trashing the joint?
It's bad enough you
lowlifes run your mouth
during this film, but this...
(Sheila sighs)
- Sheila, when you're finished
in here,
can you take care of Theater
Three?
It's about to drop.
- Come on, Fuller.
- Sorry. Tammy still hasn't
stocked yet.
- Well, how convenient. What
about Kyle?
- Nah, he's got the posters.
Look, the sooner it's clean,
the sooner we can watch
that new movie together.
- I've still gotta do Theater
Two.
- Nah, it's done. Kyle took care
of it.
- You know, Fuller,
I swear these people
were raised in a barn.
How many people?
- Alan said about eight.
- Okay.
- Look, tomorrow night
you can have box office.
I promise.
- Thank you.
Oh, god.
What is this?
Oh god.
So gross.
(ominous music)
- Ah!
(Kyle sighs)
(Alan laughs)
- Oops!
- Yeah, that's what your
mom said when she had you.
You should leave it on.
It's an improvement.
- You know, Kyle, you could use
this
for more than just holding
popcorn.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm just saying, if you
make a certain modification,
say, right here...
Provides pretty good cover
for when you're fooling around
with a girl in a dark theater.
- A real woman wouldn't need it.
- Damn, man!
Have to start dating some of
your exes.
Yo, what the hell is the
deal with Theater Three, man?
- Everybody always shuts
up the moment you walk in.
- Yeah, well, I don't blame
that guy for complaining.
Hate that shit, when
somebody runs their mouth
during a movie.
Kill for less.
- Oh, did you get that new movie
prepped?
- Yeah. Camcorder's ready too.
I'ma bootleg this like a son of
a bitch.
- Well, you better not let
Fuller
catch on what you're doing.
- Shit.
Fuller doesn't give a shit, man.
Besides, I make more selling the
bootlegs
than I do working here.
- Is it any good?
- Meh.
Couple good-looking bimbos in
it.
Stoners'll like it.
Hey, did, uh,
you see that hot chick
during the 7 o'clock?
- You mean with the red
skirt and the boots?
- Oh my god, yes.
- She applied for a job here.
- Shut up, are you serious?
- Yours truly gave her the
application.
- That's great.
I gotta go.
(phone rings)
- Hello?
(ominous music)
- Here it is.
- Lori.
Yeah, that's a pretty hot name,
huh?
- Mmm.
- What do you think
her porn name would be?
- Well, she brought her pretty
hot boyfriend with her today.
- What do you think
his porn name would be?
Dude, I'm not surprised, man.
She was way too good-looking to
be single.
- Oh, I got her profile. Check
it out.
- Oh, man!
Yeah, she's pretty hot.
- Hmm.
- Oh, shit.
It says here she works
at Dairy Queen right now.
- I suddenly have the
urge for a banana split.
- Well, perhaps we
should go to Dairy Queen
before work tomorrow, huh?
- Dude, we gotta get her a job
here.
- Oh, I'll give her a job.
(both chuckle)
Let's go talk to Fuller.
- Yeah.
- Can my friend Amy come
check out the movie?
She works with me at the clinic.
Please?
Please?
Please?
Please?
She's cool and she really wants
to see it.
She really loves horror movies.
Plus she's cute.
- Okay, but you do the theaters
tomorrow.
- Deal.
- All of them.
- Fine.
- I mean it.
I don't want to hear any
complaining about it tomorrow.
- I promise.
- [Alan] Hey, Fuller!
Fuller!
- Okay.
Tell her to hurry up.
- I'll call her right now.
- [Alan] Hey, Fuller!
Fuller!
(Sheila sighs)
Hey, Fuller.
Fuller!
Yo, Fuller, check this out, man.
You have got to hire this chick.
- Dude, she is smokin' hot.
- Please! Please, man.
- She only wants part-time.
- Yo, but her body?
Her body was full-time.
Could be Fuller-time.
- [Fuller] Is this her?
- [Kyle] Yup.
- She's, uh...
(Fuller sighs)
She's hired.
(Alan and Kyle laugh)
- Aw! (Groans)
- Walk it off, buddy.
(dog yips)
(phone dialing)
(ominous music)
- Amy.
Hey, yeah, it's cool.
Well, how soon can you get here?
- Uh, I don't know.
We're screening it tomorrow
night for one night only,
but we have to check it
first for glitches, you know?
No, we got that stuff
here. Just get here, okay?
Okay, bye.
(Sheila sighs)
(Sheila sputters)
- (scoffs) God, I hate these.
(Fuller clears throat)
- Oh. Hey, Fuller.
Projector's ready to go, man.
- Ready to go? Okay, and
what about the, uh...
- Got it right here.
Careful, man. The ink's still
drying.
- You know, if you get caught
doing this,
you're on your own.
I don't know a thing about it.
- Get caught?
Fuller, I've already been
caught, man.
- What do you mean? When?
- About a month ago.
- Uh, what happened?
- I was out driving with
some buddies of mine
and a cop pulled us over
and saw a box of bootlegs in the
back.
- And?
- And he bought three.
- You're kidding.
- Nah, he says he works so
much he didn't have time
to go to the theaters that
often, so...
I'm serious.
- Great story, but I need you
to hold off on this for a
minute.
Tammy's friend is on the way to
join us.
- Male or female?
- Female, and Tammy says she's
really hot.
- Nice. Do I have time to order
in?
- If you hurry, maybe.
Ask them how long it's gonna
take.
- Yeah, so can I get
like five cheeseburgers?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, like, one of 'em with no
onions.
Yeah, one of 'em.
No, seriously, I'm allergic.
- How long?
- Yeah, so how long's the wait?
Okay.
I'm on hold.
- People have nothing better
to do then trash this theater.
Sorry bunch of lowlifes.
That's good enough.
- You're sure they deliver this
late?
- Yeah.
It's a hefty delivery fee, man.
- Dude, where's your cell?
- I forgot it in the booth.
- He's too lazy to go get it.
- Hey, stop hating, fellas.
Remember, I'm buying here.
Oh, shut up.
Yeah, no. How long?
Right around the corner
at the Montwood Theater.
(foreboding music)
- Shit!
(Sheila whimpers)
- Mm-hmm.
20-25 minutes?
All right, thank you.
No problem. Thank you.
Food's on its way.
- How much?
- About 24 bucks.
Hey, no, no, no, no. I said I
got it, man.
- I said I got-
- Hey, Fuller.
Uh, Fuller-
- You're already finished?
- No, no, no, there's a guy in
there.
- In Theater Three?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Fuller] What's he doing?
- He's sleeping in one of the
seats.
- [Fuller] Hang on, I'll deal
with this.
- [Alan] Yeah.
- [Fuller] Sir?
Sir.
Sir.
- What?
- [Fuller] Sir, the movie's
over,
so I'm sorry, but we're gonna
have to ask you to leave.
- The movie isn't...
The movie's still going, it's
not over.
(bottle smashes) Goddammit.
- Jesus. How the hell did
he get that in here, Kyle?
- Who's gonna search him, Alan?
- I hope he didn't apply here.
- Hey.
You know what?
- Sir?
- Yesterday I was out back,
and you know what I found?
I found an owl.
- I'm sorry?
- [Drunk] I found this here owl.
- An owl?
You mean an owl?
- I got an owl, man.
I finally got my owl!
(eerie music)
- That's really great, sir,
but we do need to close now
and I gotta ask you to leave.
- You're gonna have to ask me to
go?
Your movie theater.
Not my home.
(Sheila exhales)
- "Come on, Sheila,
there's only eight
people in Theater Three."
"Got this here owl."
Whatever, fuck.
(drunk burps)
- Aw, that guy smelled like
shit, man.
- How did he afford admission?
- Yo, Kyle, what the hell were
you doing
selling that guy a ticket?
- Hey, he had the money.
Well, what was I supposed to do?
Tell him no?
- You shouldn't have
sold that guy a ticket.
- I'm surprised that angry
customer
wasn't complaining about him
instead.
- All right, Kyle.
Go Lysol that seat immediately,
please.
- [Kyle] Sure.
- Spray a lot!
- Oh, and Kyle?
Next time, tell him we're sold
out.
Jesus.
Yo, but he did smell like shit
though.
You gotta fire that guy.
(ominous music)
Hey, so Tammy, what's the deal
with this friend of yours?
She, uh...
She hot?
- Pretty much.
- Is she, like, actually hot,
or is she just one of these
average-looking chicks
who thinks she's hot?
Hate that shit, man.
All right, how old is she then?
- 22.
She works with me in my other
job.
- Least she's drinking age, huh?
She got a boyfriend?
- What's it to you?
- Making conversation. Jeez,
Tammy.
We don't talk enough, you know?
Does she?
- Nothing serious.
- What's she look like?
- Find out when she gets here.
- Maybe I'll take her out back
and, uh,
show her this here owl, huh?
- Think you mean hummingbird.
(Alan screeches)
- I'ma grab some popcorn.
(aerosol can hissing)
- Hell yeah.
Spray the hell outta that chair.
- Wonder if this guy had lice.
- He probably hasn't
showered in about a year.
(Kyle sniffs)
- Aw, man! That's rank!
- Hey!
At least you only had to talk
to him through the glass.
I had to take his ticket
from him face-to-face.
- I couldn't deny him admission.
I'd be on the news by now.
- Did he pay with a bunch of
pennies?
- No, a $20 bill.
- Well, where do you think he
got that?
- Who knows? Maybe someone gave
it to him.
Maybe he ripped someone off.
(Kyle sniffs and groans)
(can hissing)
- Oh, hey, Tammy.
Oh, remember that hot
chick in the 7 o'clock?
The one with the red dress?
- The blond one? Yeah, I
remember.
- Fuller's gonna hire her.
- No he's not.
- Oh yes, he is.
- Why, 'cause she's pretty?
- Pretty? Oh, she's not pretty,
Tammy.
She is the definition of hot.
- It was a business decision,
okay?
Pretty girls are great for
business
and they bring in a lot of
customers.
- Good save.
- Can we find out if brawny
studs are good for business too?
- I just want to go home.
- You don't want to stay
and watch the movie?
- I'm not in the mood.
Darren and I had a fight.
Plus, it's that time of the
month.
- Oh, thanks for sharing that.
Come on.
It's gonna be fun.
There's food on the way.
- Maybe I should call Darren.
- Hey, he can call you, right?
- I mean, yeah, I guess.
But he hasn't called or texted
all day.
- See?
- Screw it.
You're right.
- Tammy's staying.
- I don't blame her.
I hate watching movies with the
public.
- Mmm.
- Where's your friend?
- She should be here any minute.
- Mmm.
I want to get this show on the
road.
Gotta work swing shift tomorrow.
- I just called her a couple
minutes ago.
She should be here soon.
- Welp.
I'll be in the office for a bit.
- Okay.
- Come get me when she's here.
I'll let her in.
- Okay.
(ominous music)
(owl hoots)
- Can I help you?
- Come on, get here.
(phone chirps)
"Sorry, can't make it."
Well, why the hell not?
- And he is such a cheapskate,
you know?
Like, his parents are
rich, and he's like that.
He doesn't even have to work.
- Is he an only child?
- Yeah!
- Figures.
- Miserable skinflint.
- Rich people are so stingy
because they want to keep being
rich.
They don't like to spend
any of their own money
because they have this
fear of someday being poor.
- Well, still.
He shouldn't be like that.
- Screw him.
Nobody likes a Grinch.
Tightwads like him never change.
- You think so?
- Mm-hmm.
- Maybe you're right.
- I know I am.
(car approaches)
(line ringing)
(foreboding music)
- Hey, Fuller.
You good, man?
Hey, those Russian prostitutes
you ordered are here.
- That was fast.
- Ah, just kidding. Burgers are
here, man.
- All right.
So Tammy, where's your friend?
- [Tammy] Oh, she couldn't make
it.
- That sucks. Fuller said she
was hot.
- She is. You're missing out.
- So what's this movie?
- It's a classic horror piece
that's never been released
on home media, ever.
- [Alan] Eh, it's not on 35,
so...
- So?
- So? So it's just a digital
file.
- Alan's a film snob.
- Hey, movies look better on
film, man.
I mean, film projection used
to be a fucking art form.
- Sure, until you had missed
splices,
missing reels, and film burns.
- What's a film burn?
- Projectors' bulbs used to get
so hot
that the film can only pass in
front of it
for like a split second,
so if the projector jammed,
then the film would stop and
melt.
- Really?
- Yep.
Happened to every projectionist.
- Hey, Fuller. Hey.
Can I talk to you for a second?
- So Tammy, how about your
friend?
- Well, she's not answering her
cell.
- Her name's not Lori, is it?
- [Tammy] Oh, no. Who's Lori?
- Yeah, so Fuller. Hey, man.
Do you mind if I ask you a
favor?
- I might.
- All right, so check this out.
Me and a buddy were at
the flea market on Sunday
and I bought this reel,
and it's really old
and it's kinda beat up.
And it was only like five bucks,
and I was just, like, thinking-
- Mm-hmm?
- Maybe we can...
- Let me guess.
You want to pull out the
35 millimeter projector
and take a look at it.
- I mean, yeah. I got no
other way to view it, man.
- What's on it?
- I don't know.
- Don't give me that.
I know you've held it up
to the light at least once.
- Look, I don't know
'cause it's in Scope, so...
Come on, Fuller, it's just one
reel.
Not even a full reel, maybe
like five minutes long.
Dude, come on. It's not
gonna hurt the projector.
And, like...
Man, what if it's like a
snuff film or something?
- A snuff film?
In CinemaScope?
- Yeah, I remember her.
Don't know why you're
making such a big deal.
She's not all that.
I mean, you guys don't
have a chance, but...
- You're gonna owe me for this.
- Yeah.
Yeah, big-time.
- Damn right, big-time.
And I don't want anybody
in here knowing about it.
Not even Kyle.
- Deal.
- I'm serious, because if they
find out,
they're all gonna bring
their home movies in here
and I don't have time for that.
- Look, I won't say a word, man.
- All right.
Tomorrow night, and I'm
going in there with you.
- Yeah.
- It's got a sound stripe?
- Yeah, man.
- Social media photos
can be very deceiving.
- Alan and I saw her with our
own eyes.
The pics are legit.
- Whatever.
- [Fuller] Everyone finished?
- "Thank you, Alan!"
- Hey, I pitched in.
- Yeah, gee, Alan.
Fine dining.
- Thanks, Alan.
- [Fuller] All right, let's
get this show on the road.
Tammy, while Alan gets the movie
ready,
take care of this mess.
- Sure.
- [Kyle] I really think
you're gonna love this movie.
- [Sheila] Oh, you think so?
- I more than think, I know so.
- Do you think it's gonna keep
me awake?
- Oh, yeah. Yo, you're gonna
be screaming your head off.
- No way!
I don't believe you.
But hey, I am glad I stayed.
- Cool.
- And I do love horror movies.
- Yeah, don't think about
whatshisname.
- I won't.
(Kyle and Sheila laugh)
- Aw, dammit!
- What's the matter? No butter?
- I forgot my drink.
- Will you bring me a
box of Milk Duds, please?
- Yeah.
- Thank you!
- You want some popcorn?
- I'm good, thanks.
- Are you coming?
- Yeah, I'll be right there.
- All right, well, you better
hurry.
The movie's about to start.
- Okay, Kyle.
(ominous music)
(phone ringing)
- Roller King, this is Rachael.
- [Caller] Satan!
- [Rachael] Fuck off!
- He's the killer, you...
Stupid.
(door slams)
- Wendy the ho.
- Alicia the slut.
(eerie music)
- [Kyle] Aw, what the hell?
- [Sheila] What happened?
- [Fuller] Alan, it's the bulb.
- [Alan] Shit.
- You didn't change it out, did
you?
- I thought I'd make it
through another screening.
- [Kyle] You know we're
gonna have to start the movie
over again, right?
- [Sheila] Why?
- So Alan can continue
his illegal recording.
- [Alan] Shut up, asshole.
- [Fuller] No, no, we'll just
pick it up
from where we left off.
Intermission, everyone.
- Fuck.
- [Sheila] How long?
- As long as it takes.
- [Fuller] And that's why
we do these test screenings.
- (sighs) Goddammit.
Couldn't this have
happened two hours later?
I miss the days of film, man.
- So what do you think of it so
far?
- Well, the "please silence your
phone" ad
was very powerful.
- Where's Tammy?
- I don't know. She
said she was coming in.
She was right behind me.
- Look at this, Kyle.
It's 12:30 and the jerk
doesn't care where I am.
(Kyle sighs)
And my phone is about to die.
- Fuck him.
So Fuller, when are you gonna
hire Lori?
- I don't know. Um, sometime
next week.
Sheila, go check the ladies'
room.
See if she's in there.
Kyle, check the other theaters.
(ominous music)
- Tammy!
Hope you didn't leave a mess.
(door creaks)
(Kyle sighs)
- Meh.
(Fuller exhales)
(film characters cheer)
- [Man in Film] Good stuff, good
stuff.
- Did you find her?
- No.
- Well, she didn't leave.
All the doors are still locked.
- Well, maybe she's in the can.
- Bulb's replaced, man.
Picture's back up.
- All right, we gotta check the
print
and make sure it's not damaged,
so let's get this show on the
road, yeah?
(ominous music)
- Did you find Tammy?
- Nuh-uh.
So what'd I miss?
- That guy's about to get
slashed.
(metal clanks)
- Oh, man!
He didn't even get to
finish his friggin' joint.
- I already know who the killer
is.
Want me to tell you?
- No!
- No!
- Fine.
- [Girl 1] Makes the
back of my head tingle.
- [Girl 2] Tastes better
than real cigarettes.
(soda hissing)
- Aw, shit!
(groans) God, I hate it when
this happens.
(Kyle grunts)
"No, Kyle, we don't want to
know who the murderer is.
We want to figure it out for
ourselves."
All these horror movies are the
same.
Some group of idiots don't even
know
what's going on right
underneath their nose.
(ominous music)
- [Girl 1] I was obviously
talking about the kid that died.
- [Girl 2] What happened?
- [Girl 3] Yeah, a kid
died here back in the '80s.
- [Girl 4] What happened?
- [Girl 3] Well, he was
epileptic
and he had a seizure
because of the strobe light.
- [Kyle] What'd I miss?
- She took her shirt off.
- How was it?
- I mean, I've seen better.
- [Man 1] Parents didn't
know about strobe lights
and seizures?
- Hey, Fuller.
Fuller.
Fuller!
Hey, man, can you, uh...
Can you go open the door for me,
man?
- For what?
- 'Cause I need to smoke.
- Uh, why don't you go fire
one off in the bathroom
like you don't think I know
you're doing every day?
- Jeez.
- [Girl] Whatever happened
to the babysitter?
- Go up to the booth and
check the audio levels.
(Alan sighs)
- Goddamn piece of shit.
Oh, god, I hate digital.
Except for you, my little
Japanese friend.
- [Girl 1] Did you see what
that bitch wrote about me
in the bathroom?
- [Girl 2] Where is she?
- I'll be right back.
- [Kyle] Okay.
(sinister music)
- [Girl 1] Oh, you're so dead!
Dead!
Dead!
Dead!
Dead!
- Bootleg this son of a bitch.
Goddamn!
Fucking Fuller!
Jesus Christ, man.
Scared the shit outta me.
- Put those damn cigarettes
away.
You know this is a no-fire zone.
- It's gone, it's out, it's
away.
- Great.
You know, I can let the piracy
slide,
but I can't have you burning
down the joint, you know?
- I'm not gonna burn
down the place, Fuller.
- I don't want to see those
again.
Get them outta here.
(door clangs)
- Shit!
God!
(door clanging)
(suspenseful music)
Kyle!
That bum is outside.
- So?
- So?
He's banging on the door. Come
on.
- Oh, shit.
- [Girl] My money says she's a
freak.
- Just think about how
much of your paycheck
goes out to the cigarettes every
week.
- Fuller! Fuller?
- What?
- There's a guy outside.
- What guy?
- I don't know, maybe the guy
that was sleeping in the
theater.
- The bum?
- Mm-hmm, yes.
- Oh, god. Could you smell him?
- Listen, I was by the phone,
I was making a call, and
the next thing you know,
somebody's trying to pound on
the door.
- Do you want me to call the
police?
- No, don't do that.
Is he still there?
- Can you please get rid of him?
- Let's go take a look.
(Alan sniffs)
- Dammit!
You guys, he was right there, I
swear.
- It's okay, I believe you.
- Did you see him?
- Nope.
- Fuller, can I deny that guy
admission
next time he comes here?
- Uh, no.
- Well, we should at least go
out there
and take a look, man.
- Bad idea. You just want to
smoke.
- I mean, we should at least
make sure
he's not hanging around.
- Relax, the door's locked.
He's not getting back in.
- Wait.
So if the doors are
locked, then where's Tammy?
- Maybe she went out the back
door.
(suspenseful music)
- See?
(Fuller pounds doors)
Locked.
I locked all the doors.
- Well, then she has to be here
somewhere.
- All right, go and see
if you can find her.
I'm gonna run to the
office and call her cell.
(Fuller sighs)
We're gonna be here all night.
- Goddammit.
This whole thing's fucked now.
(Alan exhales)
- You think she's in the
stockroom?
- I don't know, why don't
you two ladies go check?
Oh, I left my laptop running.
(ominous music)
- [Sheila] Aren't you
supposed to mop in here?
- [Kyle] Yeah, we're supposed
to.
- [Sheila] Are we gonna finish
the film?
- Who knows at this point?
- Where do you think Tammy is?
- Probably at home in bed.
(keys jingle)
Keys to the kingdom.
(Sheila giggles)
So you called whatshisname
on the payphone?
- [Sheila] Hmm?
Oh.
Yeah.
- [Kyle] You didn't want him
to know it was you calling.
You talk to him?
- [Sheila] No, I hung up.
- [Kyle] Ah.
- [Sheila] And then I heard
the banging on the door.
- [Kyle] So he answered?
- [Sheila] Yeah.
Yeah, it sounded like he was in
a car
with a bunch of people.
- Sounded like he was having
fun.
- Um, I...
- Wait. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that!
Shit!
He probably was having a good
time.
- Come on!
Come on, bring the camera
down six more inches, man.
Get her tits in the shot.
What kinda pussy director
doesn't show any skin?
It's a fucking horror film,
isn't it?
Show some skin.
Lame-ass fucking directors
nowadays.
(tense music)
What the fuck?
- Hmm.
Ms. Lori Jae.
See you very soon.
(ominous music)
- I shouldn't have called him.
I mean, he knows it was me.
- So what?
- Well, I tried to...
I just don't know why I care so
much.
Like, I feel stupid.
- Hey, he's stupid if
he's cheating on you.
- Thanks.
- Besides,
he ain't got no owl.
(Sheila laughs)
- Oh my god, that guy smelled so
bad.
- Would you go out with him?
- No!
- It's a valid question.
- It is not valid.
- [Kyle] Bums need lovin' too.
(ominous music)
- [Sheila] Do it.
- Ta-da!
- Oh, you made it.
- Of course.
(sinister music)
Alan?
- Wow.
Is that a dog?
- [Kyle] Oh, shit.
Fuller's gonna have Alan's head
for this.
- I am not cleaning this up.
- Where did he go?
- Smoking, probably.
(ominous music)
- [Fuller] Kyle, Sheila.
Where's Alan?
- Probably smoking.
- And hey, um, he made a
major mess up in the booth.
There's popcorn all over the
place.
- And I'm not cleaning it up.
- Me neither.
- Did you find Tammy?
- No.
- Alan and Tammy are
probably getting it on.
- Dammit.
I still gotta finish checking
the movie.
- Can't we just go without
screening it?
- No, we can't.
I can't.
- We have to see if there are
any flaws.
It's part of our contract
with the studios.
- That's right.
Kyle, go look for Alan.
Check the bathrooms, the
closets, and the back door.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
Sheila, go find Tammy.
Search anywhere you
haven't searched already.
- Okay.
- I'll be in the back parking
lot looking for her car.
- [Kyle] I thought you said
all the doors were locked.
- They are, I'm just gonna crack
'em open
and take a look to be sure.
All right, let's go.
Pronto.
(Kyle chuckles)
- Eight bucks for a tub of
popcorn.
Man, we really rip people off.
(suspenseful music)
- Tammy?
Tammy?
Tammy!
(bum moans)
- Huh!
Private Jones had one of these
in...
- You find Tammy?
- Nuh-uh.
What are you doing?
- Just looking.
Got the munchies.
- Did you finish your burger?
- Long ago.
Besides, Tammy would've thrown
away what was left anyway.
- Hey, so what do you think
about Chelsea from box office?
- How do you mean?
- I mean,
would you...
- Would I tap that?
- I mean do you think she's
pretty.
- Yeah.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
- So you would do it with her?
- Mm-hmm.
- So why have you not asked her
out?
- 'Cause I don't wanna.
- But you just said you'd bang
her.
- Doesn't mean I want
her to be my girlfriend.
(ominous music)
Some of the people that work
with movies,
they gotta be like crazy
to do all that stuff.
- [Sheila] Well, they
are crackheads, right?
- [Kyle] I guess so. They must
be.
- [Sheila] What I've heard.
You're it!
(Sheila laughs)
- [Kyle] Oh, it's on. (Laughs)
(suspenseful music)
(Kyle laughs)
- Just give up.
You won't catch me.
- You know, I never knew
how facetious you could be.
- So, you do give up.
- Mmm...
Nuh-uh.
(Kyle grunts)
(both laughing)
(suspenseful music)
- Time out, time out, time out,
time out!
- "Time out."
- No, seriously. I gotta
go to the bathroom.
- That's convenient.
- Oh, come on.
I really gotta go. I drank a
lotta water.
- (chuckles) You think
I was born yesterday?
- Okay, trust me.
I swear we will pick this
right back up right here,
when I'm finished.
Plus, I'm on my period.
- You said that before.
- Thank you, Kyle.
Are you gonna wait for me?
- You want me to?
- Yes.
This is to be continued.
(Sheila chuckles)
Kyle.
Kyle, Kyle.
Kyle.
♪ Fare thee well, River John ♪
♪ Every child's movin' on ♪
♪ Every soul you ♪
- Huh?
- Dude, what are you doing?
- Uh, just, uh, waiting for
Sheila.
- Mmm.
Where are Tammy and Alan?
- Oh, they're long gone, Fuller.
- We don't know that.
- Yes we do.
If Tammy and Alan were having
sex,
Alan would've finished
a long, long time ago.
- Okay, even if that were true,
their cars are still in the
parking lot,
so they couldn't have gone far.
Go upstairs, check the
projection booth again.
- Alrighty.
- And Kyle, if I ever catch
you singing like that again,
you're so fired.
(ominous music)
(Fuller sighs)
These damn kids.
(line ringing)
(phone ringing)
- [Kyle] Hello?
- Alan?
Where the hell are you?
- [Kyle] This is Kyle.
I found Alan's phone in the
booth.
- Goddammit.
Well, keep looking.
- Yeah, well, I just found him.
(ominous music)
Yo, Alan.
Fuller is seriously pissed at
you.
Man, where you been?
We turned this place upside
down.
Wait a minute.
You were doing the deed with
Tammy, huh?
(Kyle laughs)
Oh.
Want your phone?
Fine, I'll just leave it right
here.
Fuller wants that movie screened
ASAP.
He's getting seriously pissed
about it.
- Kyle?
Yoo-hoo!
You gonna try to sneak up on me?
(line ringing)
- Come on, Tammy.
Pick up the damn phone.
- Okay, Kyle, don't think
I won't come in there.
I'm giving you fair warning.
Here I come.
- So?
- I told him to start it up.
- What was he doing when you
found him?
- Messing around with that
popcorn tub on his head.
- All right, that's it.
I'm cutting his hours next week.
If he wants to mess with me,
I'm gonna mess with his wallet.
- Well, why don't you just
accidentally
misplace his paycheck for a few
days?
It's not like he'd care or
anything.
He makes more money off torrents
than he does actual work.
(suspenseful music)
- Okay.
So you're not in here.
I feel stupid.
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.
- Goddammit.
What a fucking mess.
The hell's going on up here?
Son of a bitch.
Hey.
(suspenseful music)
- Gotcha!
(ominous music)
(Sheila laughing)
- That whole
popcorn-tub-on-the-head thing
is a bit overplayed, don't you
think?
That better be used, 'cause
those are 40 bucks a case.
Where the hell have you been,
huh?
(sinister music)
You know, you are this
close to getting fired.
This close.
I know you don't want that.
Your little gig here pirating
videos?
It'll all be over.
You'll be stuck flipping
burgers at a diner all day.
- Come on, Kyle.
Maybe I'll let you catch me.
Catch me, you can have me.
Are you really that clueless?
(ominous music)
Kyle?
(sinister music)
Shit!
(tense music)
(Sheila whimpers)
(Sheila sobs)
Alan, stop it!
(Sheila panting)
Who are you?
- Who am I?
I'm the guy that pays to see the
movie.
I'm the guy that has to put up
with
those inconsiderate pricks
on their cell phones
when they can't take their
conversations elsewhere.
And your theater crew, you guys
are doing nothing about it.
So I'm doing something about it.
- But why us?
Why Kyle? He just works in the
box office.
- He sells the tickets to those
assholes.
- [Sheila] (sobbing) I, um...
Um, I don't know why...
Why not the customers?
- They'll get theirs soon
enough.
And that one bum?
The guy, the one you kicked out,
remember?
Nothing's gonna happen to him
because he didn't piss me off.
- But we had nothing to do with
it.
- You have everything to do with
it.
I don't sneak food into the
theater.
I pay for your high-priced
concessions.
All I want is some peace and
quiet.
I come to the theater
wanting to have a good time.
I've been waiting for
this movie to come out.
I waited, I don't want
to do opening weekend
because of all the problems
I would have with people.
I came on a weeknight.
Month after it's out,
weeknight. Can you...
I can't believe this.
To the last screening
and there's only eight
people in the theater.
Eight!
But there's always an
asshole in the bunch.
- Okay, I mean, I'm sorry, okay?
Um, I'm really...
I'm really sorry.
But, um...
Um...
- Well, say it.
I'm waiting. Say it!
- I mean, I mean, I guess
if it's so bad, why...
Why...
Why don't you just wait
for it to come out on DVD?
(ominous music)
- Fucking bitch.
I don't want to see it on DVD.
I want to see it in the
theater like it was intended!
Hey! Hey!
You forgot to check my ticket!
And your popcorn sucks.
(tense music)
(neck snaps)
Your silence is appreciated.
(pensive music)
Oh, excuse me, guys.
Sorry, watch your feet.
I got big feet, sorry. (Grunts)
Sorry about that. Ooh.
Excuse me. Pardon.
Mmm, shoot, sorry.
(cinephile groans)
I hope y'all are gonna
enjoy this as much as I do.
(sighs) Finally.
(brooding music)
(projector rattling)
(pensive music)
- I mean, $4 for a soda?
- I don't make the prices, sir.
- You and I both know
that the water and syrup
only costs 25 cents.
- Well, the movie you're about
to see
cost several million dollars to
make,
and you're seeing it for 10
bucks, so guess it evens out.
- Come on, let's just go.
- Enjoy the show.
(ominous music)
(reel squeaking)
(coin slot clanks)
(trash can rumbling)
(garbage crinkles)
- You know...
Why do we even give
people their ticket stubs?
Be easier if we just threw
them on the ground ourselves.
- Yeah, but if they didn't
throw 'em on the floor
you wouldn't have a job.
- Sure I would. I'd be the one
throwing them on the ground.
- Where's Sheila?
- Theater One.
- Have you stocked yet?
- No, I just had a
customer a few minutes ago.
- Hey, Fuller?
Why do we even give
customers their ticket stubs?
No one checks them and they
wind up on the ground anyways.
It'd be easier if we just dumped
them
on the floor ourselves.
- There you go, Kyle.
Now there's the question that
everyone
who's ever worked here has asked
me.
(suspenseful music)
- [Girl] This is so stupid.
- I knew this was coming.
I just wasted all of my money.
- Yeah, it was your choice.
- Well, it's not my fault. I
thought it was gonna be good.
- [Girl] Well, it's not, so...
(girls chattering)
(woman in film screams)
- [Woman in Film] Leave me
alone!
Go away! Please, stop!
- Hey, Alan. Where are
we at with Theater Three?
- It's on its last reel, man.
- Why do you still call it a
reel?
- 'Cause I'm old school. Digital
sucks.
- How's the bulb?
- It's about at max.
- All right, when it's done,
go ahead and change it out.
It was a little dim during the 7
o'clock.
- All right.
- I'm sorry, sir, we're closed.
- It's not that. Can I
talk to your manager?
- Yes sir, how can I help you?
- Look, I know you're busy,
and I don't want to waste your
time.
You got better things to do.
- Aw, it's no problem,
sir. What's going on?
- Well, there's some kids up
front.
The movie's almost over.
They won't shut the hell up.
- In Theater Three?
- Yeah, up front.
Waving their hands, acting all
crazy.
But look, can you do something
for me and talk to them?
'Cause if I do, it's not gonna
be cordial.
(ominous music)
- Sir, we'll take care of it.
Please go enjoy your movie.
Kyle, please do a head
count in Theater Three.
- [Man in Film] How many
other fucking customers
in this place do that?
And in the fucking bathroom,
ain't no fucking toilet paper.
How 'bout that soap?
That sand-ass soap that
kids have in high school.
I hate that shit!
Men's restroom ain't got
no fucking toilet paper,
but the women's, they got some
in there.
I know that for a fact. (Laughs)
I'm in a bar here!
I expect to have a glass
mug, cold glass mug!
You serve beer in plastic
cups and paper cups.
Who the hell does that shit?
I deserve that for being a
regular!
(audience members clap)
I want some fucking service!
(Laughs)
- Good.
(man laughing)
- [Man in Film] Why don't you
tell me?
Does Charlie really have
a little dick? (Laughs)
- [Man in Film] You can't
fucking hide from me!
(woman in film squeals)
- Can't you people watch a damn
movie
without trashing the joint?
It's bad enough you
lowlifes run your mouth
during this film, but this...
(Sheila sighs)
- Sheila, when you're finished
in here,
can you take care of Theater
Three?
It's about to drop.
- Come on, Fuller.
- Sorry. Tammy still hasn't
stocked yet.
- Well, how convenient. What
about Kyle?
- Nah, he's got the posters.
Look, the sooner it's clean,
the sooner we can watch
that new movie together.
- I've still gotta do Theater
Two.
- Nah, it's done. Kyle took care
of it.
- You know, Fuller,
I swear these people
were raised in a barn.
How many people?
- Alan said about eight.
- Okay.
- Look, tomorrow night
you can have box office.
I promise.
- Thank you.
Oh, god.
What is this?
Oh god.
So gross.
(ominous music)
- Ah!
(Kyle sighs)
(Alan laughs)
- Oops!
- Yeah, that's what your
mom said when she had you.
You should leave it on.
It's an improvement.
- You know, Kyle, you could use
this
for more than just holding
popcorn.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm just saying, if you
make a certain modification,
say, right here...
Provides pretty good cover
for when you're fooling around
with a girl in a dark theater.
- A real woman wouldn't need it.
- Damn, man!
Have to start dating some of
your exes.
Yo, what the hell is the
deal with Theater Three, man?
- Everybody always shuts
up the moment you walk in.
- Yeah, well, I don't blame
that guy for complaining.
Hate that shit, when
somebody runs their mouth
during a movie.
Kill for less.
- Oh, did you get that new movie
prepped?
- Yeah. Camcorder's ready too.
I'ma bootleg this like a son of
a bitch.
- Well, you better not let
Fuller
catch on what you're doing.
- Shit.
Fuller doesn't give a shit, man.
Besides, I make more selling the
bootlegs
than I do working here.
- Is it any good?
- Meh.
Couple good-looking bimbos in
it.
Stoners'll like it.
Hey, did, uh,
you see that hot chick
during the 7 o'clock?
- You mean with the red
skirt and the boots?
- Oh my god, yes.
- She applied for a job here.
- Shut up, are you serious?
- Yours truly gave her the
application.
- That's great.
I gotta go.
(phone rings)
- Hello?
(ominous music)
- Here it is.
- Lori.
Yeah, that's a pretty hot name,
huh?
- Mmm.
- What do you think
her porn name would be?
- Well, she brought her pretty
hot boyfriend with her today.
- What do you think
his porn name would be?
Dude, I'm not surprised, man.
She was way too good-looking to
be single.
- Oh, I got her profile. Check
it out.
- Oh, man!
Yeah, she's pretty hot.
- Hmm.
- Oh, shit.
It says here she works
at Dairy Queen right now.
- I suddenly have the
urge for a banana split.
- Well, perhaps we
should go to Dairy Queen
before work tomorrow, huh?
- Dude, we gotta get her a job
here.
- Oh, I'll give her a job.
(both chuckle)
Let's go talk to Fuller.
- Yeah.
- Can my friend Amy come
check out the movie?
She works with me at the clinic.
Please?
Please?
Please?
Please?
She's cool and she really wants
to see it.
She really loves horror movies.
Plus she's cute.
- Okay, but you do the theaters
tomorrow.
- Deal.
- All of them.
- Fine.
- I mean it.
I don't want to hear any
complaining about it tomorrow.
- I promise.
- [Alan] Hey, Fuller!
Fuller!
- Okay.
Tell her to hurry up.
- I'll call her right now.
- [Alan] Hey, Fuller!
Fuller!
(Sheila sighs)
Hey, Fuller.
Fuller!
Yo, Fuller, check this out, man.
You have got to hire this chick.
- Dude, she is smokin' hot.
- Please! Please, man.
- She only wants part-time.
- Yo, but her body?
Her body was full-time.
Could be Fuller-time.
- [Fuller] Is this her?
- [Kyle] Yup.
- She's, uh...
(Fuller sighs)
She's hired.
(Alan and Kyle laugh)
- Aw! (Groans)
- Walk it off, buddy.
(dog yips)
(phone dialing)
(ominous music)
- Amy.
Hey, yeah, it's cool.
Well, how soon can you get here?
- Uh, I don't know.
We're screening it tomorrow
night for one night only,
but we have to check it
first for glitches, you know?
No, we got that stuff
here. Just get here, okay?
Okay, bye.
(Sheila sighs)
(Sheila sputters)
- (scoffs) God, I hate these.
(Fuller clears throat)
- Oh. Hey, Fuller.
Projector's ready to go, man.
- Ready to go? Okay, and
what about the, uh...
- Got it right here.
Careful, man. The ink's still
drying.
- You know, if you get caught
doing this,
you're on your own.
I don't know a thing about it.
- Get caught?
Fuller, I've already been
caught, man.
- What do you mean? When?
- About a month ago.
- Uh, what happened?
- I was out driving with
some buddies of mine
and a cop pulled us over
and saw a box of bootlegs in the
back.
- And?
- And he bought three.
- You're kidding.
- Nah, he says he works so
much he didn't have time
to go to the theaters that
often, so...
I'm serious.
- Great story, but I need you
to hold off on this for a
minute.
Tammy's friend is on the way to
join us.
- Male or female?
- Female, and Tammy says she's
really hot.
- Nice. Do I have time to order
in?
- If you hurry, maybe.
Ask them how long it's gonna
take.
- Yeah, so can I get
like five cheeseburgers?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, like, one of 'em with no
onions.
Yeah, one of 'em.
No, seriously, I'm allergic.
- How long?
- Yeah, so how long's the wait?
Okay.
I'm on hold.
- People have nothing better
to do then trash this theater.
Sorry bunch of lowlifes.
That's good enough.
- You're sure they deliver this
late?
- Yeah.
It's a hefty delivery fee, man.
- Dude, where's your cell?
- I forgot it in the booth.
- He's too lazy to go get it.
- Hey, stop hating, fellas.
Remember, I'm buying here.
Oh, shut up.
Yeah, no. How long?
Right around the corner
at the Montwood Theater.
(foreboding music)
- Shit!
(Sheila whimpers)
- Mm-hmm.
20-25 minutes?
All right, thank you.
No problem. Thank you.
Food's on its way.
- How much?
- About 24 bucks.
Hey, no, no, no, no. I said I
got it, man.
- I said I got-
- Hey, Fuller.
Uh, Fuller-
- You're already finished?
- No, no, no, there's a guy in
there.
- In Theater Three?
- Mm-hmm.
- [Fuller] What's he doing?
- He's sleeping in one of the
seats.
- [Fuller] Hang on, I'll deal
with this.
- [Alan] Yeah.
- [Fuller] Sir?
Sir.
Sir.
- What?
- [Fuller] Sir, the movie's
over,
so I'm sorry, but we're gonna
have to ask you to leave.
- The movie isn't...
The movie's still going, it's
not over.
(bottle smashes) Goddammit.
- Jesus. How the hell did
he get that in here, Kyle?
- Who's gonna search him, Alan?
- I hope he didn't apply here.
- Hey.
You know what?
- Sir?
- Yesterday I was out back,
and you know what I found?
I found an owl.
- I'm sorry?
- [Drunk] I found this here owl.
- An owl?
You mean an owl?
- I got an owl, man.
I finally got my owl!
(eerie music)
- That's really great, sir,
but we do need to close now
and I gotta ask you to leave.
- You're gonna have to ask me to
go?
Your movie theater.
Not my home.
(Sheila exhales)
- "Come on, Sheila,
there's only eight
people in Theater Three."
"Got this here owl."
Whatever, fuck.
(drunk burps)
- Aw, that guy smelled like
shit, man.
- How did he afford admission?
- Yo, Kyle, what the hell were
you doing
selling that guy a ticket?
- Hey, he had the money.
Well, what was I supposed to do?
Tell him no?
- You shouldn't have
sold that guy a ticket.
- I'm surprised that angry
customer
wasn't complaining about him
instead.
- All right, Kyle.
Go Lysol that seat immediately,
please.
- [Kyle] Sure.
- Spray a lot!
- Oh, and Kyle?
Next time, tell him we're sold
out.
Jesus.
Yo, but he did smell like shit
though.
You gotta fire that guy.
(ominous music)
Hey, so Tammy, what's the deal
with this friend of yours?
She, uh...
She hot?
- Pretty much.
- Is she, like, actually hot,
or is she just one of these
average-looking chicks
who thinks she's hot?
Hate that shit, man.
All right, how old is she then?
- 22.
She works with me in my other
job.
- Least she's drinking age, huh?
She got a boyfriend?
- What's it to you?
- Making conversation. Jeez,
Tammy.
We don't talk enough, you know?
Does she?
- Nothing serious.
- What's she look like?
- Find out when she gets here.
- Maybe I'll take her out back
and, uh,
show her this here owl, huh?
- Think you mean hummingbird.
(Alan screeches)
- I'ma grab some popcorn.
(aerosol can hissing)
- Hell yeah.
Spray the hell outta that chair.
- Wonder if this guy had lice.
- He probably hasn't
showered in about a year.
(Kyle sniffs)
- Aw, man! That's rank!
- Hey!
At least you only had to talk
to him through the glass.
I had to take his ticket
from him face-to-face.
- I couldn't deny him admission.
I'd be on the news by now.
- Did he pay with a bunch of
pennies?
- No, a $20 bill.
- Well, where do you think he
got that?
- Who knows? Maybe someone gave
it to him.
Maybe he ripped someone off.
(Kyle sniffs and groans)
(can hissing)
- Oh, hey, Tammy.
Oh, remember that hot
chick in the 7 o'clock?
The one with the red dress?
- The blond one? Yeah, I
remember.
- Fuller's gonna hire her.
- No he's not.
- Oh yes, he is.
- Why, 'cause she's pretty?
- Pretty? Oh, she's not pretty,
Tammy.
She is the definition of hot.
- It was a business decision,
okay?
Pretty girls are great for
business
and they bring in a lot of
customers.
- Good save.
- Can we find out if brawny
studs are good for business too?
- I just want to go home.
- You don't want to stay
and watch the movie?
- I'm not in the mood.
Darren and I had a fight.
Plus, it's that time of the
month.
- Oh, thanks for sharing that.
Come on.
It's gonna be fun.
There's food on the way.
- Maybe I should call Darren.
- Hey, he can call you, right?
- I mean, yeah, I guess.
But he hasn't called or texted
all day.
- See?
- Screw it.
You're right.
- Tammy's staying.
- I don't blame her.
I hate watching movies with the
public.
- Mmm.
- Where's your friend?
- She should be here any minute.
- Mmm.
I want to get this show on the
road.
Gotta work swing shift tomorrow.
- I just called her a couple
minutes ago.
She should be here soon.
- Welp.
I'll be in the office for a bit.
- Okay.
- Come get me when she's here.
I'll let her in.
- Okay.
(ominous music)
(owl hoots)
- Can I help you?
- Come on, get here.
(phone chirps)
"Sorry, can't make it."
Well, why the hell not?
- And he is such a cheapskate,
you know?
Like, his parents are
rich, and he's like that.
He doesn't even have to work.
- Is he an only child?
- Yeah!
- Figures.
- Miserable skinflint.
- Rich people are so stingy
because they want to keep being
rich.
They don't like to spend
any of their own money
because they have this
fear of someday being poor.
- Well, still.
He shouldn't be like that.
- Screw him.
Nobody likes a Grinch.
Tightwads like him never change.
- You think so?
- Mm-hmm.
- Maybe you're right.
- I know I am.
(car approaches)
(line ringing)
(foreboding music)
- Hey, Fuller.
You good, man?
Hey, those Russian prostitutes
you ordered are here.
- That was fast.
- Ah, just kidding. Burgers are
here, man.
- All right.
So Tammy, where's your friend?
- [Tammy] Oh, she couldn't make
it.
- That sucks. Fuller said she
was hot.
- She is. You're missing out.
- So what's this movie?
- It's a classic horror piece
that's never been released
on home media, ever.
- [Alan] Eh, it's not on 35,
so...
- So?
- So? So it's just a digital
file.
- Alan's a film snob.
- Hey, movies look better on
film, man.
I mean, film projection used
to be a fucking art form.
- Sure, until you had missed
splices,
missing reels, and film burns.
- What's a film burn?
- Projectors' bulbs used to get
so hot
that the film can only pass in
front of it
for like a split second,
so if the projector jammed,
then the film would stop and
melt.
- Really?
- Yep.
Happened to every projectionist.
- Hey, Fuller. Hey.
Can I talk to you for a second?
- So Tammy, how about your
friend?
- Well, she's not answering her
cell.
- Her name's not Lori, is it?
- [Tammy] Oh, no. Who's Lori?
- Yeah, so Fuller. Hey, man.
Do you mind if I ask you a
favor?
- I might.
- All right, so check this out.
Me and a buddy were at
the flea market on Sunday
and I bought this reel,
and it's really old
and it's kinda beat up.
And it was only like five bucks,
and I was just, like, thinking-
- Mm-hmm?
- Maybe we can...
- Let me guess.
You want to pull out the
35 millimeter projector
and take a look at it.
- I mean, yeah. I got no
other way to view it, man.
- What's on it?
- I don't know.
- Don't give me that.
I know you've held it up
to the light at least once.
- Look, I don't know
'cause it's in Scope, so...
Come on, Fuller, it's just one
reel.
Not even a full reel, maybe
like five minutes long.
Dude, come on. It's not
gonna hurt the projector.
And, like...
Man, what if it's like a
snuff film or something?
- A snuff film?
In CinemaScope?
- Yeah, I remember her.
Don't know why you're
making such a big deal.
She's not all that.
I mean, you guys don't
have a chance, but...
- You're gonna owe me for this.
- Yeah.
Yeah, big-time.
- Damn right, big-time.
And I don't want anybody
in here knowing about it.
Not even Kyle.
- Deal.
- I'm serious, because if they
find out,
they're all gonna bring
their home movies in here
and I don't have time for that.
- Look, I won't say a word, man.
- All right.
Tomorrow night, and I'm
going in there with you.
- Yeah.
- It's got a sound stripe?
- Yeah, man.
- Social media photos
can be very deceiving.
- Alan and I saw her with our
own eyes.
The pics are legit.
- Whatever.
- [Fuller] Everyone finished?
- "Thank you, Alan!"
- Hey, I pitched in.
- Yeah, gee, Alan.
Fine dining.
- Thanks, Alan.
- [Fuller] All right, let's
get this show on the road.
Tammy, while Alan gets the movie
ready,
take care of this mess.
- Sure.
- [Kyle] I really think
you're gonna love this movie.
- [Sheila] Oh, you think so?
- I more than think, I know so.
- Do you think it's gonna keep
me awake?
- Oh, yeah. Yo, you're gonna
be screaming your head off.
- No way!
I don't believe you.
But hey, I am glad I stayed.
- Cool.
- And I do love horror movies.
- Yeah, don't think about
whatshisname.
- I won't.
(Kyle and Sheila laugh)
- Aw, dammit!
- What's the matter? No butter?
- I forgot my drink.
- Will you bring me a
box of Milk Duds, please?
- Yeah.
- Thank you!
- You want some popcorn?
- I'm good, thanks.
- Are you coming?
- Yeah, I'll be right there.
- All right, well, you better
hurry.
The movie's about to start.
- Okay, Kyle.
(ominous music)
(phone ringing)
- Roller King, this is Rachael.
- [Caller] Satan!
- [Rachael] Fuck off!
- He's the killer, you...
Stupid.
(door slams)
- Wendy the ho.
- Alicia the slut.
(eerie music)
- [Kyle] Aw, what the hell?
- [Sheila] What happened?
- [Fuller] Alan, it's the bulb.
- [Alan] Shit.
- You didn't change it out, did
you?
- I thought I'd make it
through another screening.
- [Kyle] You know we're
gonna have to start the movie
over again, right?
- [Sheila] Why?
- So Alan can continue
his illegal recording.
- [Alan] Shut up, asshole.
- [Fuller] No, no, we'll just
pick it up
from where we left off.
Intermission, everyone.
- Fuck.
- [Sheila] How long?
- As long as it takes.
- [Fuller] And that's why
we do these test screenings.
- (sighs) Goddammit.
Couldn't this have
happened two hours later?
I miss the days of film, man.
- So what do you think of it so
far?
- Well, the "please silence your
phone" ad
was very powerful.
- Where's Tammy?
- I don't know. She
said she was coming in.
She was right behind me.
- Look at this, Kyle.
It's 12:30 and the jerk
doesn't care where I am.
(Kyle sighs)
And my phone is about to die.
- Fuck him.
So Fuller, when are you gonna
hire Lori?
- I don't know. Um, sometime
next week.
Sheila, go check the ladies'
room.
See if she's in there.
Kyle, check the other theaters.
(ominous music)
- Tammy!
Hope you didn't leave a mess.
(door creaks)
(Kyle sighs)
- Meh.
(Fuller exhales)
(film characters cheer)
- [Man in Film] Good stuff, good
stuff.
- Did you find her?
- No.
- Well, she didn't leave.
All the doors are still locked.
- Well, maybe she's in the can.
- Bulb's replaced, man.
Picture's back up.
- All right, we gotta check the
and make sure it's not damaged,
so let's get this show on the
road, yeah?
(ominous music)
- Did you find Tammy?
- Nuh-uh.
So what'd I miss?
- That guy's about to get
slashed.
(metal clanks)
- Oh, man!
He didn't even get to
finish his friggin' joint.
- I already know who the killer
is.
Want me to tell you?
- No!
- No!
- Fine.
- [Girl 1] Makes the
back of my head tingle.
- [Girl 2] Tastes better
than real cigarettes.
(soda hissing)
- Aw, shit!
(groans) God, I hate it when
this happens.
(Kyle grunts)
"No, Kyle, we don't want to
know who the murderer is.
We want to figure it out for
ourselves."
All these horror movies are the
same.
Some group of idiots don't even
know
what's going on right
underneath their nose.
(ominous music)
- [Girl 1] I was obviously
talking about the kid that died.
- [Girl 2] What happened?
- [Girl 3] Yeah, a kid
died here back in the '80s.
- [Girl 4] What happened?
- [Girl 3] Well, he was
epileptic
and he had a seizure
because of the strobe light.
- [Kyle] What'd I miss?
- She took her shirt off.
- How was it?
- I mean, I've seen better.
- [Man 1] Parents didn't
know about strobe lights
and seizures?
- Hey, Fuller.
Fuller.
Fuller!
Hey, man, can you, uh...
Can you go open the door for me,
man?
- For what?
- 'Cause I need to smoke.
- Uh, why don't you go fire
one off in the bathroom
like you don't think I know
you're doing every day?
- Jeez.
- [Girl] Whatever happened
to the babysitter?
- Go up to the booth and
check the audio levels.
(Alan sighs)
- Goddamn piece of shit.
Oh, god, I hate digital.
Except for you, my little
Japanese friend.
- [Girl 1] Did you see what
that bitch wrote about me
in the bathroom?
- [Girl 2] Where is she?
- I'll be right back.
- [Kyle] Okay.
(sinister music)
- [Girl 1] Oh, you're so dead!
Dead!
Dead!
Dead!
Dead!
- Bootleg this son of a bitch.
Goddamn!
Fucking Fuller!
Jesus Christ, man.
Scared the shit outta me.
- Put those damn cigarettes
away.
You know this is a no-fire zone.
- It's gone, it's out, it's
away.
- Great.
You know, I can let the piracy
slide,
but I can't have you burning
down the joint, you know?
- I'm not gonna burn
down the place, Fuller.
- I don't want to see those
again.
Get them outta here.
(door clangs)
- Shit!
God!
(door clanging)
(suspenseful music)
Kyle!
That bum is outside.
- So?
- So?
He's banging on the door. Come
on.
- Oh, shit.
- [Girl] My money says she's a
freak.
- Just think about how
much of your paycheck
goes out to the cigarettes every
week.
- Fuller! Fuller?
- What?
- There's a guy outside.
- What guy?
- I don't know, maybe the guy
that was sleeping in the
theater.
- The bum?
- Mm-hmm, yes.
- Oh, god. Could you smell him?
- Listen, I was by the phone,
I was making a call, and
the next thing you know,
somebody's trying to pound on
the door.
- Do you want me to call the
police?
- No, don't do that.
Is he still there?
- Can you please get rid of him?
- Let's go take a look.
(Alan sniffs)
- Dammit!
You guys, he was right there, I
swear.
- It's okay, I believe you.
- Did you see him?
- Nope.
- Fuller, can I deny that guy
admission
next time he comes here?
- Uh, no.
- Well, we should at least go
out there
and take a look, man.
- Bad idea. You just want to
smoke.
- I mean, we should at least
make sure
he's not hanging around.
- Relax, the door's locked.
He's not getting back in.
- Wait.
So if the doors are
locked, then where's Tammy?
- Maybe she went out the back
door.
(suspenseful music)
- See?
(Fuller pounds doors)
Locked.
I locked all the doors.
- Well, then she has to be here
somewhere.
- All right, go and see
if you can find her.
I'm gonna run to the
office and call her cell.
(Fuller sighs)
We're gonna be here all night.
- Goddammit.
This whole thing's fucked now.
(Alan exhales)
- You think she's in the
stockroom?
- I don't know, why don't
you two ladies go check?
Oh, I left my laptop running.
(ominous music)
- [Sheila] Aren't you
supposed to mop in here?
- [Kyle] Yeah, we're supposed
to.
- [Sheila] Are we gonna finish
the film?
- Who knows at this point?
- Where do you think Tammy is?
- Probably at home in bed.
(keys jingle)
Keys to the kingdom.
(Sheila giggles)
So you called whatshisname
on the payphone?
- [Sheila] Hmm?
Oh.
Yeah.
- [Kyle] You didn't want him
to know it was you calling.
You talk to him?
- [Sheila] No, I hung up.
- [Kyle] Ah.
- [Sheila] And then I heard
the banging on the door.
- [Kyle] So he answered?
- [Sheila] Yeah.
Yeah, it sounded like he was in
a car
with a bunch of people.
- Sounded like he was having
fun.
- Um, I...
- Wait. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that!
Shit!
He probably was having a good
time.
- Come on!
Come on, bring the camera
down six more inches, man.
Get her tits in the shot.
What kinda pussy director
doesn't show any skin?
It's a fucking horror film,
isn't it?
Show some skin.
Lame-ass fucking directors
nowadays.
(tense music)
What the fuck?
- Hmm.
Ms. Lori Jae.
See you very soon.
(ominous music)
- I shouldn't have called him.
I mean, he knows it was me.
- So what?
- Well, I tried to...
I just don't know why I care so
much.
Like, I feel stupid.
- Hey, he's stupid if
he's cheating on you.
- Thanks.
- Besides,
he ain't got no owl.
(Sheila laughs)
- Oh my god, that guy smelled so
bad.
- Would you go out with him?
- No!
- It's a valid question.
- It is not valid.
- [Kyle] Bums need lovin' too.
(ominous music)
- [Sheila] Do it.
- Ta-da!
- Oh, you made it.
- Of course.
(sinister music)
Alan?
- Wow.
Is that a dog?
- [Kyle] Oh, shit.
Fuller's gonna have Alan's head
for this.
- I am not cleaning this up.
- Where did he go?
- Smoking, probably.
(ominous music)
- [Fuller] Kyle, Sheila.
Where's Alan?
- Probably smoking.
- And hey, um, he made a
major mess up in the booth.
There's popcorn all over the
place.
- And I'm not cleaning it up.
- Me neither.
- Did you find Tammy?
- No.
- Alan and Tammy are
probably getting it on.
- Dammit.
I still gotta finish checking
the movie.
- Can't we just go without
screening it?
- No, we can't.
I can't.
- We have to see if there are
any flaws.
It's part of our contract
with the studios.
- That's right.
Kyle, go look for Alan.
Check the bathrooms, the
closets, and the back door.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
Sheila, go find Tammy.
Search anywhere you
haven't searched already.
- Okay.
- I'll be in the back parking
lot looking for her car.
- [Kyle] I thought you said
all the doors were locked.
- They are, I'm just gonna crack
'em open
and take a look to be sure.
All right, let's go.
Pronto.
(Kyle chuckles)
- Eight bucks for a tub of
popcorn.
Man, we really rip people off.
(suspenseful music)
- Tammy?
Tammy?
Tammy!
(bum moans)
- Huh!
Private Jones had one of these
in...
- You find Tammy?
- Nuh-uh.
What are you doing?
- Just looking.
Got the munchies.
- Did you finish your burger?
- Long ago.
Besides, Tammy would've thrown
away what was left anyway.
- Hey, so what do you think
about Chelsea from box office?
- How do you mean?
- I mean,
would you...
- Would I tap that?
- I mean do you think she's
pretty.
- Yeah.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
- So you would do it with her?
- Mm-hmm.
- So why have you not asked her
out?
- 'Cause I don't wanna.
- But you just said you'd bang
her.
- Doesn't mean I want
her to be my girlfriend.
(ominous music)
Some of the people that work
with movies,
they gotta be like crazy
to do all that stuff.
- [Sheila] Well, they
are crackheads, right?
- [Kyle] I guess so. They must
be.
- [Sheila] What I've heard.
You're it!
(Sheila laughs)
- [Kyle] Oh, it's on. (Laughs)
(suspenseful music)
(Kyle laughs)
- Just give up.
You won't catch me.
- You know, I never knew
how facetious you could be.
- So, you do give up.
- Mmm...
Nuh-uh.
(Kyle grunts)
(both laughing)
(suspenseful music)
- Time out, time out, time out,
time out!
- "Time out."
- No, seriously. I gotta
go to the bathroom.
- That's convenient.
- Oh, come on.
I really gotta go. I drank a
lotta water.
- (chuckles) You think
I was born yesterday?
- Okay, trust me.
I swear we will pick this
right back up right here,
when I'm finished.
Plus, I'm on my period.
- You said that before.
- Thank you, Kyle.
Are you gonna wait for me?
- You want me to?
- Yes.
This is to be continued.
(Sheila chuckles)
Kyle.
Kyle, Kyle.
Kyle.
♪ Fare thee well, River John ♪
♪ Every child's movin' on ♪
♪ Every soul you ♪
- Huh?
- Dude, what are you doing?
- Uh, just, uh, waiting for
Sheila.
- Mmm.
Where are Tammy and Alan?
- Oh, they're long gone, Fuller.
- We don't know that.
- Yes we do.
If Tammy and Alan were having
sex,
Alan would've finished
a long, long time ago.
- Okay, even if that were true,
their cars are still in the
parking lot,
so they couldn't have gone far.
Go upstairs, check the
projection booth again.
- Alrighty.
- And Kyle, if I ever catch
you singing like that again,
you're so fired.
(ominous music)
(Fuller sighs)
These damn kids.
(line ringing)
(phone ringing)
- [Kyle] Hello?
- Alan?
Where the hell are you?
- [Kyle] This is Kyle.
I found Alan's phone in the
booth.
- Goddammit.
Well, keep looking.
- Yeah, well, I just found him.
(ominous music)
Yo, Alan.
Fuller is seriously pissed at
you.
Man, where you been?
We turned this place upside
down.
Wait a minute.
You were doing the deed with
Tammy, huh?
(Kyle laughs)
Oh.
Want your phone?
Fine, I'll just leave it right
here.
Fuller wants that movie screened
ASAP.
He's getting seriously pissed
about it.
- Kyle?
Yoo-hoo!
You gonna try to sneak up on me?
(line ringing)
- Come on, Tammy.
Pick up the damn phone.
- Okay, Kyle, don't think
I won't come in there.
I'm giving you fair warning.
Here I come.
- So?
- I told him to start it up.
- What was he doing when you
found him?
- Messing around with that
popcorn tub on his head.
- All right, that's it.
I'm cutting his hours next week.
If he wants to mess with me,
I'm gonna mess with his wallet.
- Well, why don't you just
accidentally
misplace his paycheck for a few
days?
It's not like he'd care or
anything.
He makes more money off torrents
than he does actual work.
(suspenseful music)
- Okay.
So you're not in here.
I feel stupid.
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.
- Goddammit.
What a fucking mess.
The hell's going on up here?
Son of a bitch.
Hey.
(suspenseful music)
- Gotcha!
(ominous music)
(Sheila laughing)
- That whole
popcorn-tub-on-the-head thing
is a bit overplayed, don't you
think?
That better be used, 'cause
those are 40 bucks a case.
Where the hell have you been,
huh?
(sinister music)
You know, you are this
close to getting fired.
This close.
I know you don't want that.
Your little gig here pirating
videos?
It'll all be over.
You'll be stuck flipping
burgers at a diner all day.
- Come on, Kyle.
Maybe I'll let you catch me.
Catch me, you can have me.
Are you really that clueless?
(ominous music)
Kyle?
(sinister music)
Shit!
(tense music)
(Sheila whimpers)
(Sheila sobs)
Alan, stop it!
(Sheila panting)
Who are you?
- Who am I?
I'm the guy that pays to see the
movie.
I'm the guy that has to put up
with
those inconsiderate pricks
on their cell phones
when they can't take their
conversations elsewhere.
And your theater crew, you guys
are doing nothing about it.
So I'm doing something about it.
- But why us?
Why Kyle? He just works in the
box office.
- He sells the tickets to those
assholes.
- [Sheila] (sobbing) I, um...
Um, I don't know why...
Why not the customers?
- They'll get theirs soon
enough.
And that one bum?
The guy, the one you kicked out,
remember?
Nothing's gonna happen to him
because he didn't piss me off.
- But we had nothing to do with
it.
- You have everything to do with
it.
I don't sneak food into the
theater.
I pay for your high-priced
concessions.
All I want is some peace and
quiet.
I come to the theater
wanting to have a good time.
I've been waiting for
this movie to come out.
I waited, I don't want
to do opening weekend
because of all the problems
I would have with people.
I came on a weeknight.
Month after it's out,
weeknight. Can you...
I can't believe this.
To the last screening
and there's only eight
people in the theater.
Eight!
But there's always an
asshole in the bunch.
- Okay, I mean, I'm sorry, okay?
Um, I'm really...
I'm really sorry.
But, um...
Um...
- Well, say it.
I'm waiting. Say it!
- I mean, I mean, I guess
if it's so bad, why...
Why...
Why don't you just wait
for it to come out on DVD?
(ominous music)
- Fucking bitch.
I don't want to see it on DVD.
I want to see it in the
theater like it was intended!
Hey! Hey!
You forgot to check my ticket!
And your popcorn sucks.
(tense music)
(neck snaps)
Your silence is appreciated.
(pensive music)
Oh, excuse me, guys.
Sorry, watch your feet.
I got big feet, sorry. (Grunts)
Sorry about that. Ooh.
Excuse me. Pardon.
Mmm, shoot, sorry.
(cinephile groans)
I hope y'all are gonna
enjoy this as much as I do.
(sighs) Finally.
(brooding music)