Microbe & Gasoline (2015) - full transcript

We all agree that a square

is a regular polygon.

All four sides are equal.

All four angles are equal.

I want you to draw a figure.

You don't have to draw a square
as long as you draw

a regular polygon.

Name some other regular
polygons. Yes?

An equilateral triangle?

Good. An equilateral triangle is the
first example of a regular polygon.

Check it out. Here's where
it starts to get really gross.



What's he doing?

- Microbe, check this out!
- No.

Come here.

- No thanks! Cut it out!
- You're too serious, dickhead.

Pull up your pants.

- Give me my portrait.
- It's no good.

You always say that.

1 -2-3-4-5-6... Dammit.

- I'm trying to think.
- What?

Use another wall.

I can't hear you. The ball
makes noise.

Fine. So score a goal.

Head save! Watch out,
the goal is shrinking.

What has this house ever clone to you?
You're destroying it.



It was not me, Mom.

Daniel started it.

Sure he did.
You break everything here.

Windows and walls,
not to mention my nerves.

Football makes you crazy.

You're no better than your brother.
I know about the hole.

The hole?

Daniel and Romain did that, not
me.

That was last year. It's
history.

What went through your heads when
you made a hole in the wall?

Did you have another nightmare?

I'm having trouble breathing.

You can sing.

I'm afraid of dying.

What are you talking about?
You're not dying.

But I will, like everyone else.

Death isn't the end.

It's a kind of... release.

The body is just a vessel
that we cast off.

How can you be sure?

It's obvious. Look around you.

The beauty of the world...

its intricacy...

How could this exist
without divine intervention?

I think about it all the time.
Why doesn't anyone else?

You're just different, Daniel.

I want to be like everyone else.

That's not what I mean...
I don't know!

It's bugging me.

Listen...

Please try to read this one.

I promise you it might help.

Irene Domingues,
The Soul and the Universe.

This isn't scientific.

It is. She's a scientist.

She studied physics,
biology, chemistry...

Come with me to a conference.

You'll see for yourself.

Certain infinite sets,

unlike certain finite sets...

a subset can contain

as many elements as the whole.

Come in!

Good morning. Excuse me...

I've been transferred here.
I'm new and they made a mistake.

They put me in English
instead of Russian.

- Your name?
- Leloir, Theo.

There's no Leloir on my list.

Really?

I just came from the
principal's office.

- She sent me here...
- We'll sort out later.

In the meantime, go sit down

next to that young lady.

As I was saying, in the example
of the Hilbert Hotel paradox,

let's say in a hotel,
there is an infinite number

of occupied rooms.

However, the hotel can
always accommodate a new guest.

This classroom is like the
hotel, and I'm the new guest.

The guys in our class are so
useless.

There's not a single one I like.

They're all so immature.

Steve's kind of cute.

Yeah, and not too dumb.

- But the new guy...
- He sure likes to show off.

Someone should tell him he's a
jerk.

For his own good.

He's so dirty.

- He already has a nickname.
- What is it?

His name is Theo
and Steve's the jerk!

Come back!

What's the new guy's nickname?

Stop breaking our balls,
Gasoline!

Is that a 25-watt booster?

- You know about those?
- My dad makes them.

- Is your clad in electronics too'?
- He's an antique dealer.

Leloir Antiques, Saladin St.

- Try it out.
- Thanks.

You've got it.

Stop showing off
with your squawk box on wheels.

Isn't that
a genetically inferior snob?

What did you just say?

You and your buddies, you're
the result

of your parents' asexual reproduction.
Clones, get it'?

You smell of gasoline.

Inbred retard!

Your fly's open, dickhead.

His fly is open...

I fixed my dad's car earlier.

They're a bunch of idiots.

I'd punch their lights out.

Don't bother. One clay,
they'll eat from our hands.

School bullies are tomorrow's
victims.

You don't want to talk to me?

I don't always know what to say.

You always have lots to say.

Are you Ok? Are you angry?

I think you and Agathe
are quick to judge others

on their outward appearance.

You mean, we're superficial.

- Airheads.
- Not at all, but...

Because we're not.

- You have weird tastes.
- That's because we're girls.

Top corner, go ahead!

I wasn't ready.

You know him?

- Oh, m.
- Hi.

A friend from school.

Go ahead. Another top corner!

Ibrahimovic' passes to
Ibrahimovic'...

A great save
by Ibrahimovic the goalkeeper.

Here he is again... Ibrahimovic'
kicks it to Ibrahimovic.

Great Viaduct

is dangerously close to the
goal.

He's preparing his shot and...

GOAL!

Let's see the slow-mo replay.

Come back, Theo!

I swear he didn't mean it.

The question of love will be
asked for generations to come.

All other questions
will fade in comparison.

The whole world will only focus
on

this one crucial question.

Love... How does one love?

How can one make love while
moving closer to the divine'?

If Man's relationship to love
is honest,

so is Man's relationship to God
himself!

Can I ask a personal question?

Sure, that's what friends are
for.

- Have you ever...
- Wait! Are we buddies or friends?

- Friends.
- Ok, go ahead.

Have you ever done it?

Had sex with a woman?

Nope. I gave up after a sad
story.

Too many emotional complications
got in the way.

It's discouraging.

I meant... by yourself?

Do I jerk off?

Everyone jerks off.
Even those with wives.

- Even those with wives?
- Sure.

How long before it comes out?

The sperm?

It depends.

I timed myself once. 17 seconds.

And you?

I don't know.

Nothing comes out.

Each individual is the product
of his genetic legacy

and his environment,
making him a unique being.

Expand upon this by describing
in detail a family member.

Explain what makes them unique.

Who should I choose?

My aunt is a teacher
out in the country.

That's too kiss-ass.

Pick someone you know well
and see every day. It's easier.

I took a dig at my dad.

What makes them unique.

This paper's a pain in the ass.

That's it. All done.

I don't even have a subject yet!

Do your brother.
He's a real one-of-a-kind.

- I'm planning to paint him.
- Go paint him.

I'll write your paper. It'll be
easy.

Pretend to like the music
and cover me.

Hey, what are you doing?
Get out of there!

That garbage is unbearable.

It's noise, not music.

They've never heard of minor
chords.

What's this?

His girlfriend.

Stuck on his side mirror?

Your brother's an idiot.

He's a punk.

That's my leather jacket.

I lent it to him for my punk
series.

He still doesn't look punk.

Don't eat with your knife.

So, we're never eating meat
again?

I'm not cooking it anymore.
And I'm not buying it.

- Great!
- Watch your tone.

Because of Daniel's friend, we
have to act like a normal family?

I have a name.

Oh right... Gasoline.

That's what the primates call
me.

Give me my jacket.

It will stink of gas.

- Give it back now!
- Leave him alone!

I want it now!

- He's making fun of my group.
- Give it back!

- You asshole!
- Give it back now!

Romain, stop it!

Theo, go home!

The best group ever!

Take your fleas and go home!

I don't have fleas,
but I do have vocabulary.

Your mouth's a trashcan!

You and your shitty group!

They use you
for the rehearsal space.

So what?

Daniel, go to your room!
You too, Romain!

Last month, you had dreadlocks.
Punk, my ass!

You little prick!

Why do you always have weird
friends?

You don't know him. No one does.

He smells like gasoline.

He helps his dad out sometimes,
in the morning.

That isn't your handwriting.

- Theo wrote my paper.
- You're cheating?

What's it to you?
Are you going to tell?

It upsets me.
I thought you were above that.

Here comes Mr. Integrity
on his white horse.

What's worse, cheating or
snitching?

I won't tell. But it bothers me.

I would have written it better
myself.

So write it.

I'm too lazy. It's good enough.

Listen...

Do you think they're screwing?

Actually, I think Mom's crying.

You can never tell the
difference.

Dad never makes a sound.

Men screw in silence.

I think Mom's crying.
She cries a lot lately.

At least they're not screwing.
The idea grosses me out.

Can you stop saying "screwing"
all the time?

Screwing, screwing, screwing...

Spiky hair and studded leather My
brother is a self-confessed punk

He smashes his daily routine
Never picking up the pieces

Romain is not an example,
He is a piece of work

Our walls shake from the 4
major chords of his bass

But his ambitions are minor
Smoking his life away

His rebel group of friends and
their so-called "provocative" look

Take part in his revolutionary
art.

Thanks for the paper, but...

Sorry that I got
a higher grade than you.

Who cares? Forget it.

Writing a panegyric on your asshole
brother is what bothers me.

- A what?
- A panegyric. To praise in writing.

Ok, it's your turn to shine.

- Please come with me.
- No.

If we both go,
they'll treat us like kids.

If you go alone,
you'll be taken seriously.

I promise I'll wait for you
here.

I see violence and rebellion.

Are you a rebel?

No, but my brother's friends
are.

What are they rebelling against?

- Teachers who give too much homework.
- I see.

The Gouache Rock Exhibit

Gasoline and Gouache Rock!

"Daniel Guéret,
a young artist from Versailles,

"paints his generation
with great talent,

"using vibrant and lively strokes.
These intensely personal portraits

"are the result of the
artist's choice of subjects."

"The Youth of Versailles:

"Mohawks and broken-down
motorcycles aren't a common sight

"among the youth of Versailles."

"It's the look of my brother's
friends,

"rebelling against today's
society."

What does this word mean?

"This rebellion is reminiscent
of Max Beerbohm in its elegance

"and spirit. Not only
Beerbohm..."

Very good, Theo.

Now translate the article
into Russian for us.

"Danielovitch Guéretovitch, a
young artist from Versaillovitch,

"paints his generationovitch..."

That's enough. Get out, Leloir!

Maybe the principal will like
your Russian humor.

Sir, I should be sent
to the principal too.

Daniel, please sit down.

Didn't you invite your parents?

They're at work.

What about the people you painted'?
Won't they come'?

They're my brother's friends.
I don't talk to him.

And your classmates?

Hello, young man.

What a success!

Excuse me.

Monsieur the Marquis of
Bretisem, how are you?

What a great opening!

Captain Franklin Vermingem...

Pardon me.

I didn't recognize you.

Such talent! Don't you agree?

Sorry, we're full.
Try again in 30 minutes.

Excuse me.

Ma'am, you mistook my foot for
the rug.

No worries.

I'll be right over, your Honor, after
a quick peek at the paintings.

I'd buy this one at any price.

A hundred grand? A million?
It's well worth it.

- Your drawings of nudes...
- What are you talking about?

- The ones under your bed.
- You never make my bed.

Do you work from photographs
or from your imagination?

I don't want to discuss it.

It's normal to masturbate at
your age.

Sum n!

Those drawings are great,
livelier than your portraits.

Those should be in the gallery!

You didn't even show up.
No one came but Theo.

I won't go to your seminars
anymore!

I'm sorry!

I promise not to talk
about your sexuality.

Leave me alone!

Potatoes a la Royal!

Potatoes, again? You have no
imagination, my poor child.

I have loads of imagination,
Mom.

I need funds to vary the menu.

You do know
how to be a smart-ass, for sure.

Your brother earned money at your age.
He contributed.

Daniel has a painting exhibit
in town.

Which Daniel?

- The one sitting across from you.
- Me, Ma'am.

Any idea how many Daniels I
know?

Two.

Well, this Daniel

is a classmate. He paints.

There's one of me, as a punk.

I pity you and your family.

Artists bring misery and mess.
Look at your father!

There's junk everywhere.
I can't breathe.

I'll never sell this...

or this...

or this. It's all crap anyway.

Get this weighed at the
scrap-yard.

Bring me back the cash.

Don't go buying stuff with it.
And don't rip me off.

Can't we pay Daniel? He'll help
me push.

No way.

You don't need help.

Is your brother dead?

- He's in the Army.
- Is he the family hero?

Not exactly. He never
contributed a cent at home.

Mom says that to embarrass me.

He was a junkie and an alcoholic.
So he enlisted.

We're here.

This is it?

Leave the cart. I'll weigh it
later.

Give me an hour.

Can we wait here?

All yours...

Let's visit Mechanics Paradise!

It's like being in your house.

Check out this mechanical
wonder.

Isn't it a broken lawnmower
engine?

I bet I can make it run.

On your bike?

You're joking.
You can move anything with this.

A two-stroke engine never lets
you down.

You know lots about mechanics.

My brother taught me a few
things.

He could adjust a carburetor
to perfection, even drunk!

Where's my money? You spent it.

Take this to my room.

Bring that thing down right now!

- They paid me with a motor.
- Bullshit.

- I told you not to buy crap.
- It's not crap.

I'll pay you next week.

We'll scout for copper
and I'll get it weighed.

You're a bag of bad news.
Get out of my face!

Blow into the air injector.
It may be blocked.

Clear!

Now suck the air out of that
tube.

That's how you learn!

Yuck!

There we go...

Let's try it out.

I told you so, Gouache Rock!

- Way to go, Gasoline!
- Gasoline? Look in the mirror!

Sorry, I take it back.

Damn!

It's like a heart running
at 8000 beats a minute!

Sorry, there was roadwork
outside.

- Can Daniel sleep over?
- I don't care.

As long as I don't hear you.
Stop messing around.

Go make dinner.

What are you doing?

Shit... I thought you were
sleeping.

This helps me fall asleep.
I'm so embarrassed.

Don't worry. We all do strange
things.

My cousin hits his head
against the pillow.

Go on. It doesn't bother me.

I don't sleep anyway.
I think about stuff.

- Shit.
- What?

I lost the good thought
I was in the middle of.

That happens to me too.
It's so annoying.

I have a technique.

Go back to the last thought
you remember.

It will take you to the next
one,

and the one after that,

until you get to the right one.

So'?

It's not working.

Keep rolling. It'll come back
to me.

Forget about it! I'm sick of
being ashamed all the time.

It came back! The motor.

If we add wheels, what do we
get?

A motor on wheels. A car
without a body.

Precisely, Gouache Rock.

A bodiless car with a body.

An "ar-kay"?

Drop the Pig Latin.
We're going to build a car.

Goodbye shame.
Let's kick the future's ass!

- Kick the future's ass?
- Yeah.

The dream of absolute
independence.

The freedom to go anywhere,

without having to ask anybody
anything.

Why not buy scooters?

They cost a fortune...

and they're totally uncool.

- That's true.
- On the other hand, a car...

Our car...

built by us...

You're right.

I often dream of driving a
go-cart.

It's my favorite dream...
next to flying.

What an incredible sense of
freedom!

- But we're too young to drive a car.
- Wrong.

It's a 49.900 engine, like a scooter.
We're allowed to drive that.

We can buy the brakes,
the body, the wheels, etc.

At Raoult's scrap-yard.

With what money?

We'll hunt for metal
in the garbage and skips.

People throw everything out.
We'll find plenty.

That's what you said to your
Dad.

I heard you talking earlier.

Don't worry, he'll forget.

Aren't you sick of being yelled
at?

They yell at me no matter what.
I might as well enjoy myself.

Is your Mom sick?

She's too fat.
She's had two heart attacks.

Sorry, man.

Mine loves me too much.

I feel sorry for her.

This summer, we're out of here.
We hit the road!

Once you hit the road,
you never go back!

Freedom, here we come!

France is pretty big.

Indre, Loire-Atlantique,
llle-et-Vilaine, Yonne, Manche...

- Where are we going?
- To the Massif Central.

To see the camp I went to
when I was 8.

Where was it?

It was... here.

In the Aubrac.

In an old school.

I remember, it was on a grassy
hill.

It took easily 4 minutes
to slide down the slope.

The cooks were so nice.

- With tits the size of balloons.
- Hot-air balloons?

No... Fairground balloons. Don't
listen to me babble, help me out.

As long as we avoid the Riviera,
it's all fine with me.

Obviously. The Riviera
is for showbiz pussies.

We'll stick to the side roads.

This thing can't go
on the highway anyway.

But don't worry.
We'll take the backroads.

Discover every hidden spot,
mountain pass and hill.

Heads will turn as we go by.

Relax. We won't be going very
fast...

VEHICLE REGISTRATION

We're screwed.

What? You said
registration was a formality.

So I was wrong.

Why?

It can't be driven on public roads.
We'll never buy what's missing.

The steering is off, the brakes
and body aren't standard...

We're just too young, end of
story.

End of story? That's it? The
end?

What can I say? It's over.

You don't seem to give a shit.
I can't believe it.

Stop swearing. I'm not happy
either.

Shut up. What are you doing?

Mind your own business.

I can't stand drunk guys.

Alcohol is the death of dignity.

And now she's puking!

I'll never throw a party at
home.

I wish she wouldn't smoke.

She's doing it on purpose.
She's teasing you.

- She is?
- Of course.

- So'?
- Talk to her. Perfect opportunity.

- What do I say'?
- Who cares'? She won't hear you anyway.

Go dance next to her.
After a while, kiss her.

That's how it's clone. Don't get
electrocuted by her braces.

- Very funny.
- Chill out!

You're a diaper if you don't.
Go, Gouache Rock!

A diaper?

A diaper, huh?

- Tell me how I dance.
- Ok.

- So'?
- You're too bent over. Stand up.

Shit!

What happened?

- She doesn't want to dance with me.
- Why?

- I'm too small.
- You're joking!

Let's get out of here!

I'm sick of being called
"Microbe".

I'm not even the smallest one.
Kevin is.

Even if I was ten miles tall,
I'd still be called Microbe.

We are totally underestimated.

We can't blossom
in this lousy environment.

Things haven't been going
our way lately.

In tough times, keep your head
high.

Don't forget, crises produce
leaders.

- De Gaulle in '40. All seemed lost...
- De Gaulle'?

Yes, him!

We are living the darkest hours
of our history,

in the middle of a war that seems lost.
But we must refuse to surrender.

A war?

Our car is like France in 1940.
Get it?

- What are you talking about?
- I mean...

Let's finish the car! We can't
give up!

Just imagine...

We run into each other in 30
years and look back on today,

the day we gave up our dream.
What will we say?

"Remember the summer of 2014?"

"We were going to build a car
and travel the country.

"But in the end, we gave up."

Things don't always go our way.

No, they don't.

You're right. We finish the car.

Stop here. I've got it!

What's this?

A house.

NOW?

A house with wheels.

Exactamundo! Screw the
registration!

The body will be... a garden
shed.

Explaino?

Like a little house!

- And?
- This solves our 2 problems.

Problem #1:
Let's say the police are around.

We pull over and wait for them
to pass.

They have no reason to stop
so they keep going.

What's #2?

We sleep in the house.

In the house?

You don't agree?

I can't decide if you're
a genius or an idiot.

And I'm still depressed.

It's awesome!

You impress me!

We're back on the sunny roads.
High five!

I don't high five. It's tacky.

Stop that racket and go to bed!

If your father wakes up,
he'll smack you sideways!

Aren't you going to say goodbye?

You weren't there.
I didn't want to hang around

and feel like a ball and chain.

- You're never a ball and chain.
- Because I'm too small?

Cut it out!

It's true, I look younger than
I am.

Besides, guys are dumber than
girls at our age. It's chemical.

But you're different.

So are you.

What's "different" for you?

You tell me.

This is for you.
Since you don't have email...

Take care.

Enjoy your summer, Gouache Rock.

Why weren't you in class?

So I could say goodbye to the jerks
that despised me all year long?

There we go.
Ready for the roads of France.

Aren't the geraniums too much?

No way.
Let's play up the "house" thing!

What will the police think?

Nothing. They'll be looking at
a normal house with geraniums.

Maybe they'll ask
for our building permit.

What's this?

A letter from Laura.

You did seem a little
overexcited.

- I'm excited about the car.
- Sure.

I'm afraid to open it.

Maybe she changed her mind.

- You're right. 1, 2, 3...
- What are you doing?

Control your emotions.

Ok, we've calmed down.

So'?

"Sorry for what I said at the party.
I didn't mean it.

"I really like you. See you in
the fall.

"Until then, here's my address...
Bla bla bla...

"Send me the portrait you
promised".

Full of spelling mistakes.

- What's the drawing?
- Her portrait.

Are you kidding me?

You're so in love with her.

She'll feel sorry for you.

You're right. Besides...

I'm just a "good friend".
Friendship is the death of love.

I'll make her a shitty drawing.
A cat.

That's the spirit!
Determined and mature.

Forget Laura the whore.
We'll meet lots of Lauras.

Well...

See you at midnight?
Hey... Don't let me down.

I won't.

Let's synchronize our watches.

I'm going food shopping.
Try to bring back some cash.

I'll take whatever I can.

Kids, your mom is depressed.
She needs us around her.

Kids aren't responsible
for their parents' happiness.

We'll take care of her.

Take this.

I know you're leaving alone
with Theo, without his parents.

Since I don't know where
you're going, here's a GPS...

Password N-E-V-E-R, then...

I know how it works.
Everyone at school has one.

Make sure you charge it each
day.

Why help me?

Thank you.

Let's start it up down the road.

I don't want to wake my mother.

- Do you mind pushing it?
- No.

- What did you tell your parents'?
- That I was with your family.

Shit! Me too!

- What if they meet up?
- The odds are 1 in a billion.

How does this work? Where's the
GPS?

Try swiping to the next page.

Damn, I can't figure it out.

These were designed
to humiliate people like us.

You're paranoid. It can't be
that tough.

Hand it over.

- Watch out!
- Shit!

Touchscreen technology is for
sissies.

Forget it, we don't need it.

- We're still in the Paper Age.
- Speaking of paper...

- Nature's calling.
- Need to take a dump?

Shit.

My 1st shit away from home.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Shit!

Very funny!

The cops!

The cops!

Damn!

- The "house" technique worked perfectly.
- Thanks to your flowers...

- Let's try to push till Nemours.
- That far'?

- Ok, if you do the pushing.
- We won't really push the car.

It just means
"let's go as far as Nemours".

Duh... I knew that.

Are you serious?

You kept Laura's letter?

Why hang on?
You're suffering for nothing.

I don't care anymore.

I do, but...

I can't seem to stop hoping.

You'll go out with her
when you don't care anymore.

Once she's become just another
girl, not someone special.

I don't get it. Why go out with
her if she's nothing special?

Out of regret.

That's really discouraging.

I know. So don't think about it.

You're right.

You're always right. It's so
annoying!

I'm alone a lot. So I'm
more detached from things.

And I don't care
what others think of me.

How can you not care?
What people think matters to me.

I'm easily influenced.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

If you tell me a movie is crap,
I'll think it's crap.

That's silly. I never go to the
movies.

That's not the point.
It could be a book or a person.

I have no personality.

You're kidding. You have
more personality than most.

At your exhibit...

- No one came to my exhibit.
- Exactly!

Because you're ahead of your time.
I was impressed.

- I did?
- Besides...

If you're my friend,
you're an independent spirit.

That's true.

Maybe I'm not so easily
influenced, after all...

You see?

As soon as you say
I'm not easily influenced,

I believe I'm not either.

So... I'm easily influenced.

I give up.

But seriously...

Do I have a shot with Laura,
now or in the future?

- Just thinking about it hurts.
- I know.

No sleeping technique tonight?

I'll fall out of bed
and I'm too ashamed.

Please do it.

Come on, it'll help me sleep
too.

- I used to sing as well.
- Songs?

Not really, more like notes in
steps.

Go on, I want to hear.

It's like that, for ages.

Pretty good. It sounds like
Bach.

Go ahead, make fun of me.

Do you know about the woman
with the golden arm?

A very long time ago...

- A man...
- Wait!

Is this a funny story?

Not at all. It's a serious one.

I'm afraid to miss the punch
line.

So... a very, very long time
ago...

A very poor man married
the love of his life.

She was a very, very beautiful
woman.

But also very fragile.

- This story is full of "verys".
- That's how it is.

One day, the woman gets
cancer in her arm.

Her arm is amputated.

The man spends every penny he
has, to buy her a golden arm.

But his wife doesn't get better.
She dies.

He buries her in the forest.

The penniless man has nothing
to eat.

One night, he digs up his wife,

to take her golden arm and sell
it.

It was raining cats and dogs
that night.

The sky was streaked with
lightning.

Drenched, terrified
because he stole his wife's arm,

he runs home and hides it under
the bed.

He lays down.

Then he hears footsteps in
the hallway, coming closer.

The door creaks open...

A skeleton appears before him.

It only has one arm.

The jaw snaps...

"Who stole my golden arm?

"If it wasn't... You!?"

Dammit!

What are you doing here?

You built a shed in my garden?

It's a car, Sir.

- You can't stay here.
- We were just about to leave.

- No, come with me.
- Don't worry...

- We're ready to go.
- No way!

Follow me.

Does that thing really move?

It has wheels and a motor?

Yes, it does.

Where did you find it?

- We built it ourselves.
- You did?

Good job, kids.

Your parents know where you are?

We call them every night.

That's good.

Doesn't your girlfriend talk?

She's not my girlfriend.

She's just shy.

- What's your name?
- Her name is Danielle.

That's a boy's name.

Ending in L-L-E.

Ok, that's a girl's name. And
you?

Theo Leloir, Sir.

It's nice to have visitors.

We have a boy and a girl,
older than you.

They dumped us,

like a pair of old socks.
They never call.

They're at boarding school.

They couldn't wait to leave!

Let's see your teeth.

Our teeth?

I bet you never brush them.

Any cavities?

What a disaster!
We'll fix that tomorrow.

Ok?

Here are our kids' rooms.

Theo, you take Sylvain's room.

Danielle, you get Sylvie's room.

Good night!

Wake up. I can't stay here.

- There's a Shakira poster over the bed.
- Shakira?

- Let's get out of here now!
- This is scarier

than the woman and the gold arm.

And thanks for "Danielle spelled
L-L-E" and "she's shy".

- I felt so stupid.
- You could have spoken up.

You were too busy stuffing
your face with sauerkraut.

I had to make all the
conversation.

- Your shoes make too much noise.
- Too bad!

This guy is obsessed with
hygiene.

- Maybe they don't even have kids.
- Or they died in a terrible car crash.

And they want to adopt us.

- It's locked.
- You're joking!

- Shit.
- I told you your shoes...

made too much noise.

Dammit!

- Where the hell are we?
- In a torture chamber.

He's an organ smuggler.

Quick! The window!

Hurry UP!

What are you doing?

Go back to your rooms!
Come back here!

Start the engine!

Don't be stupid. You can stay

as long as you like. My wife
will be furious if you go.

Being abandoned by your kids
is a terrible feeling.

It's awful in the morning,
worse at night.

I'm a dentist!

Theo, you need braces.
You have a severe overbite.

Shut the door!

I'm sure this was your idea,
you little bitch!

- Did I kill him?
- Not with a shovel.

That guy is crazy.

That was a close call.

He called me a bitch.

Anyone ever grab your ass?

What? No.

It happened to me
and I didn't say anything.

Shame leaves you speechless.

I'm tired of being mistaken for
a girl.

Get your hair cut.

I won't give in to pressure
and be average.

I would lose
the little personality I have.

Your personality is not linked
to your haircut.

It's linked to your choices

and your actions.

Maybe we should forget
the Massif Central.

We'll get stuck in the hills.

I have a better idea:
let's go to the Mot-van.

The slopes aren't this steep!

It's got lakes and
hydroelectric dams.

Dams?

What about my camp?

I want to see the cooks.

Man, forget their kindness and
big tits.

I'm sick of pushing.

Ok, you win!

Forget the Massif Central.
But I'm telling you,

next year we'll buy a 125cc engine.
We won't even notice the slopes!

And don't forget the headlights!

I'm going to find a hairdresser.

NOW?

You're right. I need to cut it
off.

No more thinking I'm a girl,
even

Wait until tomorrow.

No, now. Don't try to influence me.
Later, I may change my mind.

I'll convince you again.

I have uphold my independent
thinking,

even against you!

You're right.

Watch out for violence.
Don't react to being provoked.

We don't care about the circular
zone, just the North zone.

We have many codes.
If you leave us alone,

you'll be fine.

But if you try to take over,
watch out!

You want haircut or massage?

10 euro haircut, 35 euro
massage.

Massage?

No, just a very short haircut.

Here sit.

Massage after haircut. 30 euro
for you.

I finish you and you no more
virgin.

Just a haircut, please.

The cops don't come here.

They leave you alone, unless
you smoke crack in the stairs.

You mark your territory like
cats?

We don't piss in the street. You
think we're animals? Watch out.

Beautiful hair.
You sure you want to cut?

Yes, very short.

- I meant the tribal society...
- Tribal?

Massage first, yes?

- Very hard in pants. Massage?
- No thanks.

The business you conduct here
exploits women, don't you think?

I exploit women? You and your
interview are totally biased.

Give me the tape and get the fuck out!
Don't show your face again!

You're busting my balls
with your interview!

We have trouble
because of people like you.

Don't ever come back.

Get out of here!

Asshole!

Come back and give 10 euro now!

Come here!

Where's your money? Empty your
pockets!

Hand it over now!

10 euros!

Don't hurt him. Just 10 euro.

Let him leave.

Ok, let him go.

Don't show your face here again!

Left, right... Right, left...

Enough. I've never thrown
a punch in my life.

I'm tired of being a wimp.
With a crap haircut.

You got a haircut in a whorehouse.
What did you expect?

Keep going.

It's a spectacular haircut.

Have no regrets. Now, hit faster

and harder.

Stop kicking.

It's too risky for a beginner.

Here's a foolproof technique.

Go see the guy you want to knock out.
Act like you have

a secret to tell him.

Grab him like this,

punch him in the face,

and run for your life.

You really have to run fast.

He won't react because he's in
shock.

You've tried it?

- With my brother.
- You fought your brother?

No, he taught me the technique.

You can tell me anything
that goes through your head,

and I'll believe it.

I swear, it really works.

I'm sick of pushing!

It's your turn now, buddy!

Morvan's slopes are just as
steep as the Massif Central.

Both mountain ranges
are from the Paleozoic Era.

I'll never see my camp again.
You tricked me!

We said we'd go next year.

Quit talking about your camp
on each hill.

I wanted to screw the
hairdresser the other clay.

Actually, I was hoping she'd
rape me.

What, "shut up"?

That's the real Daniel:
obsessed with sex.

Like me and the cooks at camp.

Let's go. Objective "Boobs".

It's too late. We're at the
lake.

Girls, lakes or dams? What do
you want?

- This is it.
- What is?

Do you know them?

- Laura?!
- Her family has a house by the lake.

You brought me here,
to the address she gave you?

You worked it all out
so we would come here, right?

I don't believe this.

You knew from the start
and never told me.

You have some nerve!

No, only since you made me
push the car uphill. I swear.

Besides, you gave me hope.

It's your fault, in a way.

What a pack of lies!

I tried to make you forget her.

So, what now?

She does have a good body.
And budding breasts.

Go talk to her!

- What are you waiting for?
- Not with this haircut.

What? We drove 250 miles
and you won't talk to her?

Not looking like this.

- Just flip your hair over.
- No.

I'm going to talk to her.

You coward! Come back and talk
to her!

I can't with this haircut.

Your hair is fine.
You look like a samurai.

It's not a reason to wimp out.

- You can't do this to me.
- Can't we come back when it grows in'?

- I promise I'll talk to her then.
- It'll take 2 weeks.

Would you rather kiss Laura
or screw a woman?

Those are 2 separate slots.

Laura goes here, screwing goes
here.

You're a complicated guy.

And not easy to influence!

You haven't given up on Laura.

I don't want to not be in love.

- It's a noble, beautiful kind of pain.
- No pain is beautiful.

What the hell...?

It's a Roma camp, or what's
left of it.

That's so unfair.

They're always chased away
and no one cares.

We live in a shitty world.

What?

They thought we were part of
the camp.

Oh no...

- Congratulations, it's your fault.
- Mine'?

- We both agreed to park here overnight.
- We both did?

We came here specifically for a
girl you're afraid to talk to.

Look at my jacket.

It's plastic, so it melted.

There's nothing left.

The road to Morvan... my ass!

While you whine over
your jacket, right here,

a Roma community was wiped off the map.
Can you imagine?

Their relatives were in death camps,
and we treat them like criminals.

Is that a history lesson?
I bet I taught you that.

- You know nothing about history.
- Absolutely untrue.

Who do you think you are,
you Revisionist?

Don't stay here.

Revisionist? You're the
Revisionist.

You "revisioned" our vacation
plans.

I'm splitting.

You do that. Later, plastic
biker!

I hope we're in different
classes next year... Gasoline!

Actually, you don't give
a shit about me.

Nope.

You're only interested in
yourself.

Your personality...

your hair, your Laura, your anxiety...
Great conversation!

Just remind me of a single time

that you asked me about myself.

So'?

Nothing to say?
You're such an egocentric.

An egocentrist?

I take back what I said
about school and plastic.

I talk a lot about me,
but I do care about you.

Your sperm...

- Your mother...
- Come back!

Shit, come back!

I asked about your Mom, your
brother...

Theophile!

That's 28 euros, please.

Thank you.

2 euros change.

Thank you, young man.

- Come on, guys!
- Go!

- Let's go!
- Let's go' guys!

The ball, kid!

Where's your money? Your
pockets!

Give it back, you little shit!

We'll cut you into pieces!

Gouache Rock!

Don't stop! Keep going!

Faster!

Floor it!

Watch out, faster!

They beat me up the other day.

I stole their ball.
It's driving them nuts.

Way to go!

How did you start the car?

I went back once the cops left.

The fire only burned
the wood and our stuff.

So I got the engine running.
I even speed-tuned it.

See how fast it goes!

You shaved it all off.

What a shame.
I liked your samurai haircut.

We lost them. Slow down.

I'm trying to!

- The dam!
- We better jump ship!

Let's go... One... Two...

Three!

End of story.

No, the story is just beginning.

Give it back and let's split.

You can go. I'm staying.

2 options, string bean.

First, we destroy you.
Then we take the ball.

Or we take the ball first,
and then destroy you.

Destroying me first.

3rd option: ball suicide.

- Wait! Don't be stupid!
- Look at this ball...

On the brink of suicide,
depressed...

- Ready to make a deal?
- No deal, Theo.

- I want to fight.
- You'll lose.

- What's the deal?
- The ball stays alive. Us too.

We go our separate ways. You keep
the ball, we keep our teeth.

- Give it to me, you'll see.
- Yeah, let's have fun!

Ok, return the ball.
We won't touch you.

We want guarantees.

Once they get the ball, they'll
kill us.

No, we'll step back 30 yards.

You'll do the same. A 70-yard
gap-

- It's 60.
- Right, I meant 60.

You put the ball on the ground.

By the time we get it, you'll
be far.

Deal.

I was prepared to fight.

- I'm not a wimp anymore.
- You never were.

We didn't have a prayer.
At least we kept our teeth.

It's better, isn't it?

- So, truce?
- Of course.

I thought about it...

You tricked me on our destination,
but you did it for love.

I respect that.

I'm sorry about the car. You're
the one who really built it.

Forget about it.

I'm impressed that you got a samurai
haircut in a Korean whorehouse.

I have a present for you.

Clean briefs! Super!

I'm so sick of wearing the same
ones.

Here's to newfound dignity
and the comfort of my balls!

Help!

Morvan is bigger than they say.

That tree...

Isn't it red?

No, it's positively blue.

That's what I thought.

We're delirious.

High on hunger and lack of
sleep.

And thirst...

If this goes on, we'll die a
slow death.

Or become bums.

Or worse, punks with dogs.

- Or "Jimi Hendrixes".
- No, "Shakiras".

We don't like anything.

That's it. Call your parents
now.

The iPhone is dead and buried...

in my shit.

He must have forgotten to charge it.
I knew it.

Why didn't he ask to go away
alone?

What's the difference?
You would have let him.

Mr. Leloir, it's Marie-Thérése
again.

I can't get through to them.

Yes, I understand.

Daniel lied to us too.

Kids at that age, you know...

Yes.

Fine, I'll tell him to call
as soon as I hear from them.

Damn! No one knows where they
are.

Brat!

Leave Theo where he is.

Why summon everyone home?

Did you call a priest, too?

- A city. We're saved!
- Hallelujah!

2 euros?

Thank you!

I'm spoiling you.
First underwear, then 2 euros...

Pointing out your generosity
to people is rather crass.

Awesome! It has mini jet
engines.

My clad and I want to build a
glider, but he has no time.

Driver, follow that plane!

My dear children,

our drawing contest will begin
in 2 minutes.

Here comes the 1 st prize:

a radio-controlled airplane.

It's slightly smaller than

our regular commercial aircraft.
Just like our contestants,

children 12 years old and under.

Go on, you'll definitely win!

- It's for children.
- Just say you're 12.

I'm 14 and a half! It won't
work!

Please don't take this badly.

Short hair makes you look
younger

- This will help.
- Thanks.

Go! The clock is ticking.
You have 30 minutes

to draw a masterpiece.

Stop sulking. For once your angel
face will work to our benefit.

Take a walk. I need to
concentrate.

Good news. They all suck.
Nowhere near as good as you.

You caught someone's eye... I
told you we'd see other "Lauras".

- What are you drawing?
- An Airbus 310.

- Why'? You can choose any subject.
- The A310 is the 1st prize.

That doesn't mean
you have to draw one!

Shit!

I thought you did, to win 1st
prize.

- I messed up.
- Only a baby would make that mistake.

- I'll start over.
- No time.

- I give up.
- Don't be discouraged.

I have an idea.

It's a low-flying plane. Draw
houses, buildings, all that stuff.

They'll be impressed.

Good idea.

Work on shading.
It's your strong point.

Take another walk.
I need to concentrate.

If I'm quiet, can I stay?
I'm a good influence.

Time is running out...

I'll get blue and gray
for the clouds.

The end is near.
In a few seconds,

the contest is over. Are you ready?
Three... Two...

One! Time's up!

Thank you.

Young man... Thank you.

- I think we're good with these two.
- This is the one.

We had quite a talented bunch.
Our young artists

succeeded in creating
masterpieces.

The drawing by... Let's see...
by Daniel Guéret

is by far the most elaborate.
The realism is impressive.

The clouds, the landscape...

The landscape... Didn't I tell
you?

However, the subject matter
is a little conventional.

So we have decided to award him

- the 2nd prize.
- What?

Sidonie Jacquin's drawing

of children circling the Earth,
standing on potatoes,

is far less detailed,

but the subject is more
imaginative.

Therefore, she wins 1 st prize!

The 1st prize winner, Sidonie
Jacquin.

Step up and get your prize!

with radio control.

What an idiot!

You could have drawn anything. And
you were beaten by a "Laura".

Let's see what the 2nd prize is.

Daniel Guéret? Congratulations.

Don't be disappointed. You win a
round-trip, Dijon to Paris and back.

That's crap.

It's our way home.
We'll die if we keep wandering.

It's only one ticket.

- You go to Paris and I return to Dijon'?
- Hang on.

We both live in Versailles.
Can we trade for 2 one-ways?

A stewardess will collect you in Paris.
Enjoy the flight.

Congratulations on your drawing.

I'm not leaving. I'm moving
in with the stewardess.

- Stay here.
- The plane's falling apart.

I'm scared too,
but I'm keeping it together.

It'll never make it to Orly.

I have an idea.

Let's hold hands.
This stays just between us, Ok?

Please excuse us.

I've never flown before.

It can bounce around a bit,
but it's safe.

Paris-Orly, estimated
departure at 5:40 pm...

I have a better idea. Let's
hitchhike.

That's much riskier.
We could run into a crackhead.

Do you know how heavy a plane
is?

10 tons?

- 100 tons.
- No way!

100 tons of metal,
just waiting to crash.

Damn...

I'm afraid I'll die a virgin.

If we crash, I'll pay for a
hooker.

We survived! We did it!

I'm not doing that anytime soon.

Oh, the comforts of
civilization...

carpet, velvet, bath,
socks and a clean t-shirt.

We landed backwards.

What are you talking about?
We did not.

- More importantly, we didn't explode.
- Isn't that insane?

We did not land backwards.
Were you dreaming?

2 minutes ago, we were on the plane.
Now, we're on the train.

No transitions.

After we landed, we took a
bus to the train station.

We didn't have cash
so we jumped the turnstile.

Are you sure? I don't remember.

Look, we're still going
backwards.

Is that better?

We live in the past.

By the way, we've left the
train.

I know, we're in front of the
station.

- Sorry about what happened earlier.
- No worries.

Let's face it, we're not
exactly normal.

You, the hopeless romantic,
and me, the grease monkey.

Take care, Gouache Rock.

Do you think
our parents know we lied?

If so, I'm a dead man.

My mom is probably scared to
death.

I'm sure she is.

I'll have to explain for hours.

- See you.
- Bye.

Where were you? I was so
worried.

- Why did you lie to me?
- So you wouldn't worry.

It doesn't matter. I get it...

You cut your hair.

I can see your eyes now.

You've grown.

No, everything else has shrunk.

Gentlemen...

It's a bit late
to worry about your mother.

You were out gallivanting
while she choked. And you lied.

That was her final image of you.

Who would do something like
that?

What goes through your heads?

I hope you caught hell too.

- You won't be seeing Theo anytime soon.
- Why not'?

You're moving to Grenoble,
with your brother.

What about school?

Sort it out with him.

That'll teach you.

I can't stand the sight of you.

- That's so unfair!
- Totally unfair!

Thanks for your sympathy. Now go home.
You've wasted enough time together.

You'll get used to it.

Grenoble is not such a bad
place.

It'll be ok.

Godin, Maya... Lamoureux,
Steve...

Ninth grade, section four.

I knew I heard your name.

Can you believe
we're the only ones they moved?

Go figure.

We'll be friends with half
the class by next week.

Don't worry.

Ring out the old, ring in the new...
Same difference.

Boy, we sound like old-timers.

- Done that, been there...
- What?

I'm known for my silly sayings.
You'll see.

It wasn't that silly.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau once said,
"Do I dare expose here..."

Did Gasoline change schools?

He's in Grenoble, looking for a
job.

Good idea.
He wasn't the "scholarly" type.

Not the world's greatest
thinker...

In my opinion, your hanging
with him isolated you.

He jinxed you.

Honestly, it's a good thing
for you that he left.

You want to hear a secret about
him?

Sure!

Sorry?

What happened?

Let's go.

Daniel, turn around...

On the count of three. One...

Two... Three...

On the count of seven.

Four... Five...

Six... Seven...

Infinity...

Adaptation: Holly Diener

Subtitling TITRA FILM Paris