Metrosexual (2006) - full transcript

Please give a big hand
to our ten finalists

competing to become
the Gift for Him ambassador.

The winner will hold his crown
and title for one year,

and will spread the word
about Gift for Him products

to our male customers.

Please give a big hand
to all of the contestants!

Come and take a look at the first round.

Our judges will deliberate
and deliver their decision very soon.

With all these handsome faces,

I'm sure the decision
won't be an easy one.

From Madame Figaro magazine.



-This is your press kit.
-Thank you.

From Maxim.

Oh, my god, did you see
what she was wearing?

From Lady of the House.

Pardon?

I'm from Lady of the House magazine.

Sign here, please.

Thank you.

Miss Pom!

Miss Lady of the House!

Miss Lady of the House!

-Miss Lady of the House!
-Yes, you Afro brat!

I'm right here. There's no need to shout.

And you've only got one camera.



Did you come here
just to freeload or what?

-Look at you.
-Hurry up.

Put that down. Let's get to work.

Let us welcome
the next set of contestants.

In this round...

-Excuse me.
-...we will have the contestants

show off their bodies for you all.

Hi. Excuse me.

-Take a look at them.
-Aof.

Will they be disqualified
if they wear their jeans

above their belly buttons?

I think it's super cool, though.

Or do you prefer them
wearing your grandfather's pants?

That guy with the wet look

should be in
the Miss Teen Thailand contest.

Look at those red lips.

-Look!
-What is it?

Don't you fancy the Korean look?

Hey, Aof. Look over there.

It's Maprang and Dr. Adisorn.

Get a shot of them together
for the society page.

Make sure his purple necktie
is seen in the picture.

That's old news, sis.

Didn't you see it?

I already did that ages ago.

Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.

How would I know?

You smartass, wild-haired brat.

Who's this calling now?

Hey, what's up? I'm at a fashion show.

You want us to have some dinner?

I'm free this evening.

Yes, that place is Fai's favorite.

All right. See you then. Bye.

Oh, Doctor!

Without your help,
it would be a real mess.

Thanks a lot.

You're welcome.

Hey!

What's this now?

-Do you want some?
-Not now. I need to puke.

Oh.

Hi, Pang. What's up?

What?

This evening?

I'm afraid I can't go.

I already have an appointment
with Ken Chan.

Hang on a second.
Ken Chan's on the other line.

What? You have a meeting?

I see.

That's all right.
Ken Chan, hold the line for a second.

I think I can make it this evening.

Talk to you later.

Yes.

Sweetie, what is it?

I can't hear you.

What are you saying, darling?

Hold on.

-I'll just pay the motorcycle guy.
-Ma'am.

-Sure. What?
-Ma'am.

Your boyfriend said "I love you."
Can't you hear it?

-Why did you only say it now?
-I could hear it through my helmet.

-You should've told me.
-The helmet, please.

Okay.

Hello, darling.

I got that, darling. I love you, too.

I need to hang up now.

Thanks a lot.

Miss Pat, all the stuff you ordered
hasn't arrived yet.

-What?
-Miss Pat.

You need to arrange the celebration
when you get back.

There's about half an hour to go.

-You're late.
-Mrs. Korakot asked you

to call about her son's engagement party.

Okay.

Transform!

-Activate the force!
-Activate the force!

Paul, Peak.

That's not how you activate the force.

Sopa, can you pass me the phone?

Sopa.

Sopa, I asked
if you can pass me the phone.

If the ringing stops
before I get that phone,

I'm taking three baht off your salary
to return the call.

Here it is.

Fai speaking.

Hi, Pang. What's up?

A new fortune-teller?

This evening?

Yes, I'm free.

I'll ask Sopa to babysit the boys
until my husband comes home.

See you this evening.

Here.

I'll need the cab fare home tonight.

I'll miss the last bus
if I have to stay late.

Are you kidding me, Sopa?

You can get a motorcycle taxi.

I can't, I'm scared
of those motorcycle guys.

They always wolf whistle when I walk by.

Why?

Did they say anything to you?

Last time...

they shouted to me...

"Where are you going, baby?"

Sopa,

they just say that
because you look like a customer.

All right?

MEN'S HEALTH CENTER

You can't take that, sir.

We don't recommend this drug
to patients with heart disease

or to those with hypertension.

-Yes, that's the medicine.
-What?

-I can help you with that.
-Not hard enough?

It goes up, then down. Up, then down?

Well, you can't overlook
the benefit of foreplay.

If you take the pill
and then watch Animal Planet,

it'll surely go soft.

I suggest that you read
the instructions on the package,

and try working out together regularly.

Squeeze and hold it,
and then squeeze and hold it again.

Your joystick will be as rock-hard
as a horny baboon's.

Nim, we're only supposed
to give medical advice,

not phone sex.

Hi, Pang.

This evening?

Sure.

Is the whole gang's coming?

Great.

I have a gift for Pom, too.

I got to go now.

Sorry, it's an emergency.

It's a rush order.

THE WORLD'S MOST AMAZING JOYSTICK

It's for Mrs. Nual.

She needs it urgently.

Mrs. Nual, here it is.

What are you ordering? Go ahead and order.

You've got a new crush, haven't you?

It's not that new.
We've been together for three months.

-What?
-What?

Did he knock you up?

-What!
-No, are you crazy?

Hey!

I'm sure he's the one.

-What?
-What?

Easy, girls.

How could this be?

-We haven't even met him.
-We don't know anything.

How long has it been going on?

Is he short, fat, and ugly?

I'm sorry.

Why didn't you tell us?

-Are you ready to order?
-Right!

Shall we order?

-You like bean curd, don't you?
-No.

-Don't change the subject.
-Tell us.

Don't change the topic.

-How could you hide this for three months?
-Why?

Don't change the topic.

-What?
-Pom.

-What?
-Did you curl your eyelashes?

-She's such a cosmo girl.
-Right.

Looks good, though.

She must've vamped herself up
for those boys at the fashion show.

Were you at the show when I called?

-Yes.
-Wow.

Then you got to see
the hot studs in action?

-What?
-Yeah, I saw them in action.

-Oh?
-Two of them, together.

-Really?
-They were necking with each other.

Order some food now!

If you don't mind, ladies.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Pig's guts.

-Spiced minced pork.
-Hong Kong boiled beef.

-Fish noodles.
-Golden fish balls.

-Wood ear mushrooms.
-Fish-stuffed bean curd.

Lettuce in oyster sauce

Strawberry tart.

-What's that?
-What?

This is a hot pot.

I didn't notice.

-Hey!
-Hey!

Give me that.

-Excuse me, your order is here.
-Thanks.

-Thanks.
-Thanks.

Look.

A fine catch at twelve o'clock.

Oh, my god.

His face is as radiant as a full moon.

It's too full.

What do you mean?

Kong!

Over here.

Thanks.

Kong.

These are my friends.

She's Fai. Nim, Pat, and Pom.

-This is Kong.
-Nice to meet you.

-Hi, girls.
-Pom.

Kong was the production designer
for today's fashion show.

-Wow.
-Wow.

I see.

Kong, do you eat beef?

This pot is for beef-eaters.

If not, dip yours into that one.

Any pot is fine with me.

I can even do both pots.

"Both pots"?

That sounds dangerous, Pang.

Girls, look at his moves.

Do it like this, so the yolk won't curdle,

and it will taste smooth on your tongue.

Put the seaweed in the yolk
so it doesn't crumble.

Chilies, garlic, and lime
aren't just for spicing the dip.

And you should put the vegetables last

so they won't shrivel.

I'm full.

We forgot to order the rice custard.

How could we forget that?

Are you girls going
to the Estee Lauder sale tomorrow?

-Pat.
-What?

How come you missed the news?

-Right.
-Yeah.

-How come?
-Oh...

-So, you're a shopaholic, too.
-Exactly.

Kong's a die-hard shopping maniac.

You name it, mid-year sale, midnight sale,

and hip street markets,
he's been to them all.

-Really?
-Wow.

Kong, did you bring Pom's gift?

He's got something for you. It's nice.

-What's this?
-Open it.

A diamond ring maybe?

-Wow!
-Hey!

-They're lovely.
-Wow.

Thanks, Pang.

-Do you like them?
-They're so cute.

-Kong picked them out himself.
-Really?

If you don't want them, I'll take them.

I did not say I don't want it.

They're clip-ons.

Let Pom have them.

No.

Because, you know, Pom's hole is clogged.

Perhaps Fai's hole is clogged, too.

Her guy's asleep by eight every night.

Hey, hey!

-You're terrible.
-Hey, Pom, I just remembered.

I have a gift for you, too.

-Let's see.
-I won't let Pang take all the credit.

Why isn't there a gift for me?

Oh, you can have this.

THE WORLD'S MOST AMAZING JOYSTICK

-What is it?
-A vibrator.

I'm too old for that. Pat, you take it.

-Oh.
-Wow.

Which one of you, ladies,
ordered the vanilla scoop with a cherry?

That's for me.

What?

Kong loves cherries.

Oh, I see.

Hey, Fai.

You haven't chipped in
your share for the hot pot.

Pom.

You still owe my salon 50 baht
for today's service,

and I didn't say anything.

Next Friday, let's go to a food court

so each of us can pay for our own dishes,

and also so my hair won't stink.

Oh.

Not next Friday. I'll be on vacation.

You can't have fun without me.

A meditation trip again?

When the cat's away,
the mice will play, you know?

You've got to give him some space.

Pom, not every man

is like an untrustworthy street dog
that you like to think.

Don't be so sure.

Your hubby is a tiger out of his cage
when you're not around.

I can't wait to see him roar.

-Right.
-Easy, easy.

Nim, come on.

-Hop on the bed.
-What?

She's already asking me into bed.

I'm not a hussy.

-Oh.
-I know.

What's this, Pom?

You left a towel here.

What did you think

of Pang's boyfriend?

He's not bad.

Good-looking, sophisticated,

and has a better fashion sense
than the average Thai guy.

Still, I have a hunch
that this guy isn't a safe bet.

-What?
-Why?

I saw him cuddling with another man

at the fashion show the other day.

-Oh.
-Really?

Maybe they were talking about work.

Pang said that he works
for the event organizer.

Right.

-What about the mushroom thing?
-What mushroom thing?

About the mushroom

having to go into the pot three minutes
before the morning glory.

I see.

-Did you know that?
-No.

-Did you?
-No.

-What about you?
-No.

See? We're women,
and we haven't got a clue.

And his shopping binges?

What kind of a man shops
at street markets?

-Does your husband do that?
-No.

-See?
-Hey.

Watch your mouth.
He bought you those earrings.

-Well...
-But I think Pom has a point.

-Yeah.
-Men these days

-have weird tendencies.
-Right.

Once upon a time...

you'd only see one ladyboy
after walking past 20 lampposts.

Yeah.

Now, after you walk past just one,
you'll eventually see 20 of them.

Right.

-I don't think Kong is a ladyboy, though.
-Why?

Maybe he's just gay.

-You see?
-Do you see?

-You see? Look.
-Right.

His clothes and hairstyle
are the carbon copy of a magazine photo.

Haven't you heard
of the term "metrosexual"?

Brad Pitt, Beckham. Get it?

Some guys just like stylish clothes.

And that doesn't mean they are gay.

There are plenty of men like that
in Japan.

Ken Chan is one of them.

You can say that again.

Speak of the devil.

Ken Chan.

-Welcome.
-Welcome.

Oh, metrosexual my foot.

I can't tell the difference
between this guy and Beckham.

Where's the remote control?

Hello, Ken Chan.

Fai, have you seen the remote control?

Could it have walked over here by itself?

-Ken Chan.
-Yes?

Are you bored?

Would you like to have
your hair highlighted?

Half price for you.

Only 300 baht.

She's stingy.

It should only cost 150 baht.
He only has half a head to cover.

Hey, that's rude.

Stop calling him old and bald.

He's not old at all.

Dad, the remote control
was under Grandpa's ass.

"Grandpa"?

Your dad is so cute.

He's here to look after
his grown-up daughter.

-He must be very protective of you.
-Yeah.

Goodbye, ma'am.

Hello, Ken Chan. You're here already?

-What?
-What did she say to you?

She said we're a perfect match.

What?

Perfect match.

-What's that?
-Ta-da.

Roast chicken! What else is there?

Papaya salad!

Thanks.

You're welcome.

How did you manage to order?

Did they understand you?

-What did you tell them?
-Like this.

It's hard, isn't it?

What about the papaya salad?

Wow.

You are so smart. Thank you, Ken Chan.

What's wrong with this photo?

Chamaipon! Chamaipon!

Come take a look at this photo.

What's the problem, Mrs. Pensri?

-Let me see.
-Can you please take a look?

Let me try it with the glasses.

Sure.

Aof! Aof!

Why is this picture so blurred?

Blurred? It's not blurred, ma'am.

I took it this way
to convey the realm of dreams

and the profound imagination
of the subject.

You just messed it up,

and now you're making some
smart-ass excuse.

Look at this mess.

What is it in the picture?

It's called the avant-garde style.

No, it's called the awful-garbage style.

What a fool!

Dr. Adisorn was there too?

Shall we ask him to be featured

in our Sweet Couple column?

-Are you sure?
-Why?

You're just jealous of people in love.

Jeez.

Shut up.

-Your mouth is only made for eating.
-Why?

You should take care
of the "Boring Couple" column instead.

Mrs. Pensri, Mrs. Chamaipon, and Afro-boy,

I'll say it only once. This Dr. Adisorn...

is gay.

Got that? He's a closet case.

And all these models,

they're all gay. Their whole bunch!

Mrs. Pensri, it's quite hairy, isn't it?

It's really hairy.

Chamaipon, watch your language.

We're not teenage girls anymore.

Nothing is hairy around here.

But I really see the hair.

Wow.

-Where?
-You see the hair

but I see the crack.
Look here, that's quite a crack!

It is indeed quite a crack.

That is a shade too deep, Pang.

Is it?

You should try the earth tone.

-It'll suit you.
-I see.

And it's so in-trend.

Okay.

-Here you are.
-Thank you.

Thanks.

Would you like to try our new product?

It's an eye cream for men.

No, thanks. I already have it.

Kong.

I didn't know you use cosmetics.

I'm a nocturnal person.

Without facial cream,
I'd have panda eyes, right, dear?

You're crazy.

GREEN JAPANESE SOYBEANS

Oh.

What's up, Nim?

Really?

Is this Kong gay or just a sex maniac?

What?

Hey, I've got to go.

What's the problem?

Excuse me.
These Japanese soybeans are for sale.

They're not free samples.

Oh, right.

-Sorry. They taste really nice.
-I know.

That guy's having some, too.

Nim, you're here by yourself as usual.

Don't you feel lonely?

Would you like to join us for dinner?

I'm always so bored
going on romantic dinners with Joe.

Excuse me.

Do you have this in D-cup?

This is the last one in stock.

Is this for you?

If you're looking bras for you,
I suggest you take a look over there.

This one...

is not your style.

-Here you are.
-Thanks.

-Is it nice, Joe?
-Yeah.

It's cute, right?

Can you come over, please?

My friend would like to buy this,
but two sizes bigger.

Get one and give it to her.

-Sure.
-She's waiting.

I'm really sorry but size 44
is the biggest we have in stock.

No.

What's this? You got the wrong person.

No, it's not for me.

-I'm done.
-Oh, there you are.

Do you fancy trying this one?

You're cheeky.

Okay, I'll try it.

No need. Just buy it.

I'm just kidding.

Got any souvenirs for me?

She didn't go on vacation.
How could you expect a souvenir?

At least spare some
of your good deeds for my soul.

It's over there, your souvenir.

Or you could have a donation envelope
from the temple instead.

So, what's up?

You shouldn't have asked me
to come out today.

I wanted to go out with Ken Chan.

-Oh.
-Oh.

How could hanging out with baldy
be more fun than gossiping with us?

Fai, the Japanese are world-renowned
for being kinky.

Ken Chan might have handcuffs,
whips, and candles under his bed.

-Idiot.
-Whips and handcuffs?

What Ken Chan needs is a walking stick.

That's right.

-Mom.
-What?

Mrs. Tik called to order 200 more sweets.

They'll pick them up this afternoon.

Okay.

-Should I bring the stuff here?
-Yeah.

I'm kidding.

I'll leave you girls alone.

-Pang.
-Yes?

You can tell me about it later.

Shoot. It's about Kong, right?

Who wants to go first?

Honestly, when did you first meet?
Why did it all happen so quickly?

Quickly? His mom and mine
have been friends since forever.

I've seen him since he was little.

It's better seeing him when he's grown-up.

Stupid.

I mean, Kong is not so young anymore.

Are you sure he doesn't have
a wife hidden somewhere?

A wife is okay.
I'm afraid he's got a husband.

Not a chance.

-He had a girlfriend.
-What?

But they broke up ages ago.

You'd better make sure it's really over.

How?

His cell phone, of course.

Check his call logs and messages,
you've got to check them all.

That's private stuff. I don't want to pry.

-Fai would.
-Fai would.

Anything acquired after a marriage
is a matrimonial asset.

I have the right to half of everything.

It would only upset you
to snoop around his cell phone.

Well, well. Look who's talking?

If she could read Japanese,
I bet she'd read his phone messages.

Hi, Kong.

It's Kong.

Yes, sweetie.

Yeah.

Anywhere is fine.

I'm game for anything.

A hotel? Isn't it a bit boring?

Everybody does it at a hotel.

Did she say "hotel"?

-What's going on?
-Great!

A park sounds better.

It's more exciting.

Not many people dare to do it in a park.

She wants to do it in a park!

Is she nuts? Is that good?

Sorry.

The sprinkler always goes off
at the wrong moment.

You guys deserved that for being so nosy.

And what's so wrong
with having a wedding in a park?

When's the big day?

-At the end of the year.
-Really?

-Yeah.
-Wow.

-What?
-That's just two months away.

The engagement party
is three weeks from now at my house.

You'd better pay a visit now
to your dressmakers.

-What?
-Gosh.

Why is it so sudden?

Fai, every fortune-teller
gives me the same warning.

If I miss my chance now,
another one won't come along until I'm 40.

-Whoa!
-Well...

That's not too long to wait.

But will there ever be a man who remembers
my favorite color, my favorite dish,

my favorite book, my favorite author,
and my favorite ice-cream flavor.

How many times does a woman
get to be this lucky?

-You're right.
-Right?

Kids.

Dry yourselves
and have some black bean pudding.

Yes, Mom.

Mrs. Suchada,

just leave it alone.

I'll take care of it.

Make sure you get a nice shot
of the big, black beans.

Yes, ma'am.

Hello?

What? Today?

Okay. I'll see you.

Do you want some?

Mrs. Suchada made it.

No, I'm not into black beans.

Come on.

It won't make your skin
any darker than it already is.

I'm your senior.

Watch it.

-Talk like that and you'll get possessed.
-Are you leaving?

Office hours aren't over yet.

I know, I'm going for an assignment.

Wait up.

Let me go get my things.

Where are you going?

If you're on an assignment,
I'll have to go along to take photos.

Have you finished taking
the black bean shots for Mrs. Suchada?

Just a bowl of black beans
won't take me the whole day.

Aof?

-Yes?
-I can't see the black beans.

The spoon is too big.

There.

Come here and take a few more shots.

-Come here.
-Okay.

What time is his flight supposed to land?

I told Mrs. Nual I'll hurry back
after the ordination ceremony.

He's coming real soon.

Passengers can collect their baggage

at conveyor number 7.

At your ten o'clock, a real macho!

Turn around slowly. Turn...

Hi.

This is my friend Nim. Nim, this is Bee.

-Oh.
-Hi, Bee.

Nice to meet you.

Pom, you haven't changed a bit.

Still our nut-brown lass.

And they still haven't let off
the senior flight attendants?

Do you still want my help?

My legs are killing me.

-Let's go sit down.
-Let's go.

Hey! Which species
does your Bee belong to?

Man, woman, and everything in between.

Bee was a high school hunk.

Pang had a huge crush on him.

He was so popular that he was voted
as head of the class in Grade 8.

But when he was in Grade 9, well...

You girls have my sympathy.

You can't always detect them straightaway.

Let's see...

Don't tie your faces in a knot.

I'll give you a crash course
on how to spot a gay man.

See those stallions?

There must be at least
one Little Mermaid among them.

Let's see if you can spot her.

-The one with the wiggly finger.
-No.

That's ancient.

That technique doesn't work anymore.

-Your turn.
-Okay.

The one who's fiddling with his earring.

Only gays wear earrings
in their left ears.

Another old-school trick.

If he has a hole,
either left or right, he could be one.

-Oh?
-You must catch them on the fly.

Be careful, there's gum on the floor.

See, that's our mermaid.

He's shown his true colors. You see?

All right.

You take this checklist,

and examine him
for the following symptoms.

When the doctor returns next time,

he'll diagnose the Sissy Syndrome.

These closet cases can't escape my gaydar.

Look into his family history,

and see if there's gay DNA in the family.

I'm here to see Nim.

Good morning.

-Nim, someone's here to see you.
-Ma'am.

-Hi.
-Hello, Nim.

Was it hard to find?

Actually, I can drop by Pang's house
to pick it up.

Where's the guy
who wants to taste my sweets?

Wait here a second.

Yes.

What's this?

What's this book about?

Oh, it's a Yoga manual
for two practitioners.

-I see.
-Yes.

Ma'am, Pang's boyfriend is so nice.

He's the son of your friend, isn't he?

Yes.

Wilai raised her boy really well.

That's why Kong didn't turn out gay.

There are lots of weird stuff around here.

What's this?

It looks rather strange.

Well, it's a massage stick.

Oh, and it vibrates.

A massage stick?

It gives a good buzz.

It fits in my palm, too.

Can you buy one for me?

Well, can you tell me more
about Kong's family?

They live in a shophouse.

-Yes?
-His mother sells roast duck.

Their duck has such
mouthwateringly crispy skin.

-Really?
-Ask Pang to take you there.

It's in Thong Lo.

Just a second.

What?

You're missing your legs?

Why are you calling me?

Call the hospital.

Just kidding.

Okay, deal the cards right away.

I'll play two hands.

I'll be there in five minutes.

All right.

I have to go, dear.

-You're going?
-I've got to go.

I got an emergency call from my friends.

Bye.

MRS. PANG'S DESSERTS

Joe.

An ant bit me right here. It hurts.

It bit me here, too.

It hurts.

Pom.

Should we trust Nim?

She didn't even get the name of the shop.

It's all useless.

She should've fished out more information.

MANDARIN

At least we know it's a roast duck shop

run by a domineering wife
and an oppressed husband.

How many could there be?

You hag!

Move your ass!

Are you gonna eat here or not?

Hurry up! We're busy.

It can't be that shop.

That one is not so oppressed, is he?

Let's go before we're butchered.

Andrew, duck rice for table four.

Table one has asked for the check.

It's 87 baht. Prepare the change.

And clear that table.
The customers are waiting.

Hey, can I ask you something?

Do you know where your boss's husband is?

My stomach is about to burst.

That's not a problem.

The problem is...

who's paying for this meal?

I remember now.

Kong's mother is called Wilai.

Nim, we'd be more grateful

if you could recall the name of the place.

That's true.

Wilai is such a great cook.

Wilai?

Over there. If you're so fond
of Wilai's cooking, go tell her.

WILAI'S ROAST DUCK

Is my food not good?

-Yes.
-Yes.

It's delicious.

It's so pricey here.

Do they put Donald Duck in the soup?

Just order something.

Anything, just order it.

Excuse me.

I'll have...

four chrysanthemum teas.

-Chrysanthemum tea?
-Yes.

Sir, your place is so busy.

Why don't your children come and help out?

They're already grown-ups
and have their own jobs.

How many children do you have?

-Four. Three girls.
-I see.

The youngest one is a boy.

-That's him in the photo.
-Oh.

-I see.
-I see.

It looks like your boy
had a good education.

Which school did you send him to?

-Maybe I'll send mine there, too.
-Yeah.

A boarding school.

Sir, do you have any gays in your family?

Take the order at table ten. Hurry up!

-How could you ask him that?
-Why?

-Is he from a broken family?
-No.

Or a family
where the mother bullies the father?

-Yes.
-Yeah.

The only child? No.

Or the youngest brother
with several sisters?

-Exactly.
-Right. Yes.

Did he attend an all-boys school?

-Yes.
-Yes.

Have a family member who's gay?

-Well...
-Well...

Too bad.

We've nearly completed the checklist.

Yeah.

And we're lucky they didn't hack us
to death with their duck knives.

-Right.
-Yeah.

A GAY FAMILY MEMBER?

Bee, the whole gang is here.

Hang on a second.

Hello, angels.

Have you run through the checklist?

How many hits did Kong score?

Three of them are confirmed.

But we're not so sure about the last one.

What do we do now?

Should we just tell Pang?

Take it easy. It's not enough
just to poke around his family history.

To be sure, you have to see his house.

See how chic and swanky it is.

You should take photographs as evidence.

And make sure to check
for gay nude magazines

or sex toys hidden somewhere.

Then we can find out
if they're toys for men or women.

If you want a tiger's cub,

you have to enter the tiger's lair.

I've got to go.

A yummy hunk just walked by.

Bye now, girls.

Damn.

He's right.

If we want the eggs,

we have to get inside the womb.

-What?
-What?

So we have to wiggle like sperms, right?

Hey!

If you like to wiggle,
I can take you to a club tonight.

Anyway, does anyone know...

where that sissy Kong lives?

-Right...
-I don't know.

Give me your hands.

I can see...

I can see your secret!

You bully your husband.
Your kids are hopeless.

Stingy to your maid.

You were a tigress in your past life.
A fierce tigress!

Am I right? Am I right?

Give me your hands.

Hurry up!

Draw a card.

It's just as I suspected!

I can see your soulmate.

Hang on. Your soulmate
is a foreigner, right?

I see an island, lots of islands.

There are raw fish and wasabi.

Japan!

Your spirit comes on so strongly.

So strong!

I see literature and glory.

Take a freelance job.

Lots of it and you'll be rich!
Your glory resides in your freelance gigs!

You, give me your hands.

You've got a cloud of good karma.

You'll not die in a freak accident!

But you'll die at the hospital
when you get there.

You, give me your hands.

You're about to get married.

I see you in...

No! Don't get married! I forbid you.

I forbid you to get married!

Don't.

But every psychic tells me to.

Are you insulting my power?

Do you think I'm fooling you?

Go ahead. The spirits told me

you can get married but it won't last.

Is there any way to reverse the curse?

I've already prepared for the wedding.

There must be a way.

Give me the address of your marital home.

I'll do it. Just tell me.

-Sinthani Condominium.
-Where is it?

-Sathorn Road.
-Sathorn Road.

Sinthani, which room?

-Room 69.
-Room 319, 1319.

Sinthani, Sathorn...

Blasphemy!

You can't marry this man!

He's unclean.

You cannot marry him! There's a plague
in your house! You cannot marry him!

What should I do, then?

Oh my, oh my! How can we fix this?

We have to fix this.

Do you have anything from your condo?

Any object that belongs
to your marital home?

The key! Do you have the key with you?

Yes, yes.

The key.

I can undo the curse
and ward off the jinx.

But you must promise me one thing.

You won't get married
until the curse is lifted early next year.

Can you promise?

-Say you promise!
-Mommy, what are you doing?

Sopa, take the boys outside.

What happened?

Where am I?

I can't remember a thing.

The spirit has descended on me, right?

Praise be to the Holy Spirit.

Don't worry about what she said.

He's just unclean.

Don't worry about it.

-I'll take you to see an expert.
-Pang.

-Pang, don't worry about it.
-Don't worry.

It's all right. Thanks a lot.

I've got to go.

-Okay.
-Drive safely.

Good luck. See you.

Here.

Don't worry.
Nim and I will take care of it.

Fai, all went well according to plan.

-Yeah.
-Thank you.

Pay 500 baht first. We'll share the rest.

What?

Just pay her.

Everything all right, Fai?

Everything's okay. The price is low.

-Oh, okay.
-Thank you so much.

Feel free to call me anytime, okay?

-Thanks.
-Are you done?

Don't raise your voice.

There's a really long queue here.

-I'm coming.
-Hurry.

Are you sick, Pom?

You want to try my tamarind cough syrup?

I'm fine.

I also have a special
witch doctor's concoction.

I'd better go see the doctor, thanks.

-Let me come with you.
-No, it's all right.

I can take care of myself.

Just go back to work.

You know, it's a good time
to make a move when a girl is ill.

Wait a second!

May I see your ID?

Hey.

Here, I have a key to the unit.

I see.

Sorry, you must be the new tenant.

Sorry.

Welcome to the four of you.

Thank you, and goodbye.

Watch out!

-What?
-Put these on first.

We must not leave any fingerprints.

You're so serious about this.

-Hold it!
-What now?

Switch off your cell phone.

Are we going to a movie?

This place is splendid.

The fountain is lovely. Do you like it?

It's nice. I'll think about it.

There are a few more places
we need to see.

Sure. Take your time.

-Pat.
-Yes?

I just remembered about the flower
arrangement at the ceremony.

Can we let Kong's uncle take care of it?

Of course.

If he's really good, the hotel
might want to use his service next time.

Kong, we should let Pat see his portfolio.

Yes, my uncle is a real expert.

-Your uncle?
-Yeah.

-Pat, we have to go now.
-Yes?

We have a million things to do today.

-And we're running out of time.
-We should have dinner together.

Nim, hurry up.

-Found something?
-Found what?

Help me lift the mattress.

Pick up the phone.
What the heck is she doing?

Peekaboo!

What's with you?

You take the photos, I'll go take a crap.

I thought you'd just taken a major one.

The papaya salad this morning
gave me the runs again.

I can't hold it any longer.

Go ahead.

Something's troubling you, right?

How can you tell?

You always twist your hair
when something is troubling you.

Am I right?

-Kong.
-Yes?

The thing is...

some people have suggested

that we postpone our wedding.

Is it your friends?

No. A fortune-teller.

Pang.

-What?
-You shouldn't listen to them.

Especially a fortune-teller.

Hello.

Hello.

POSTCARDS

OLD WATCHES

What the heck!

I'm so unlucky.

Kong's high-school yearbook?

Oh, my god.

They're back.

I didn't even go all the way.

I'll just use the toilet.

Kong.

Take it to the table.

Pang, you should add some more onion.

It'll taste great.

Okay.

Have you washed the eggs?

There's no need to.

No, they're filthy.

These are century eggs.
People eat them like this.

-Pang?
-Yes.

I've bought that CD you like.
Shall we play it?

Ouch.

You all right?

It's all right. It's just a scratch.

-Are you hurt?
-Here. It's not so painful.

I don't know how it happened.

What did the doctor say?

What doctor?

The coughing's gone?

Oh, yes. He said it's just a sore throat.

Thanks.

TAKE THE BROWN CONCOCTION.
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.

Is this yours?

Take it back.

You should take at least a few drops.

It'll fix your voice

so you can start shooting off
your mouth again.

And what's this?

A new trend?

Cool, right?

Who do you take after?

Are you ready?

Come on!

-Oh.
-Hey.

Hey, that won't cure your swollen mouth.

Bee.

Girls, those studs you were eyeing
were sissy boys in disguise.

This is Mor, my boyfriend.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

Wait a second.

So what have you got so far?

-Let me see.
-Goodness.

-Here.
-Oh, great.

I took them myself.

Look.

-Wow.
-Look at this.

This is rather suspicious.

If my boyfriend were this organized,

I wouldn't mind if he was gay.

The one in my home

twists his underpants into a figure eight.

Really?

Girls.

What about something
sexually incriminating?

There's nothing.

-Yes, there was.
-What?

In the bathroom,

-I was reading them.
-Really?

Hardcore stuff, actually.

Physical attributes
can be telltale signs too.

-Oh.
-Yes.

-Right.
-Did you know...

that most gay men...

have the same length
of their index and ring fingers.

-Like this?
-Look at mine, for instance.

-Bee, look.
-As for you...

Look at Kong's fingers.

Here.

-See what I mean?
-Right.

-Are they of the same length?
-No.

-There's also a theory...
-Okay.

...from the Paris Gaydar Institute,

86 percent of gay genes...

-Yes?
-Yes?

...are genetically transferable.

This is true.

Do you know

-if Kong has any gay relatives?
-Right.

Mor, take a look at this.

This is Kong's uncle.
He'll arrange the flowers for the wedding.

Is this obvious enough?

This isn't an uncle. It's an auntie.

Look at his lipstick.

-Hey!
-Right.

This is indefensible.

Let's go tell Pang.

Brave and brilliant...

-but you're careless.
-Why?

This is all stolen stuff.

How can you just barge in and accuse him?

What should we do then?

It has to be like this.

Pang has to see it to believe it.

Right.

Kong, is this one lovely?

-Look at these pearls.
-It's lovely.

But I think this one is prettier.

A lotus motif.

That one's nice, too.

What about the first one?

Miss, would you be interested
in our wedding photo package?

We're having a special price promotion
until the end of the year.

Thanks. We'll think about it.

I don't think so.

It looks kind of tacky to me.

-Okay.
-Well...

Kong, we don't have
to take the tacky ones.

Only the cute ones.

Excuse me.

Hi.

I told you I'm not free today.

I'm busy.

Can we do it tomorrow?

Sure.

Kong.

If you're busy...

don't worry about me.

-I can go back by myself.
-You sure?

That's sweet.

Then I'll leave first.

Just choose anything you like.

Okay?

But, Pang.

Not the wedding photo, okay?

See?

Just like the fortune-teller told you.

You shouldn't push for the wedding.

Come on.

At least Kong's letting you decide
on almost everything.

With my wedding,

everything was decided by Peng's mother.

Everything.

But Kong lets you call the shots.

You shouldn't be upset.

But, Fai,

I really want to have
the photos as a souvenir.

How many times does a woman
get married in a lifetime.

Pang.

Pang, you're not a little girl anymore.

Don't get too emotional.

You have to learn
to forget something so trivial.

That's how you become happy
in married life.

-Dad!
-I'm back.

Hey, Daddy bought some chicken for you.

Hello, pretty bride.

There's still time to change your mind.
I'm still available.

Peng.

Yes?

Whose hair is this?

Your hair, of course.

My hair?

Yes, your hair.

You won't be lucky twice.

You're not so bad at that.

Why don't you take care
of the handicraft column,

and I'll tell Mrs. Pensri
to hire a new photographer.

It's a good thing you're here.

Why's that?

I made a mouth guard for you.
Try it to see if it fits.

Don't.

Silly boy.

I knitted this just for you.

Saved by the bell.

-What's next, Mrs. Chamaipon?
-What's up, Fai?

There.

I told you this guy's weird.

Maybe Pang will call off the wedding

because he refuses
to take the wedding photos.

Okay. Bye, see you.

What is it?

Are you free this Saturday?

Saturday? It's my day off.

You'll have to pay me extra for Saturday.

Or I'll go to the labor department.

Fine, I'll find someone else.

Wait!

Okay, I'll do it.

See you on Saturday, 7:00 a.m.

During my time,
I would say she is coming to you.

Don't tease me.

Hey, Aof.

Look at you.

Where did you buy your clothes?

That's so gay.

You'll be sweating your pants off
in no time.

Right, take it off.

That's better.

You still look like a sissy, though.

Let's find a spot.

Somewhere not so crowded.

Want a hand?

How about a ride in a paddle boat?

Don't you think I'm rather too old
for a paddle boat?

Can you fit in there, anyway?

Hi, Pom.

Are you on a date or what?

-Hello.
-What?

What date? What time is it?
Why don't you just show up tomorrow?

-Goodness.
-Come on.

Let's go find a spot.

Gosh.

Smile. One, two, three.

Smile.

Stop that already.

How is it? Let me see.

Kong, take a look.

Beautiful.

Hey, look.

He's wiping his face.

She asked you to come herself?

-That's odd. She doesn't normally care.
-Hey.

Don't just look.
Go give him something to drink.

-Who do you mean?
-Your boy-toy, of course.

Go.

Show him some gratitude.

It's cheaper than hiring
another photographer.

Go on.

What?

Here.

I'm not your mother.

Look at her. So fake.

Sure.

Wow. You're Japanese?

Men can't be trusted.

What's that?

-Hey.
-Ow! What?

Don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

-Okay. Another one?
-Yes, please.

-Okay.
-Yes.

It's all right, mister.
Your daughter's waiting for you.

Sorry, and thank you so much.

I'll go now. Bye.

Mister, look at the camera.

Are you already tired?

No, I'm fine.

Save your energy.

We're going to a karaoke bar later.

Yeah, come along.

Let's get changed and pack everything up.

Come on, quickly.

Hurry up.

He's leaving.
I don't know what's gotten into him.

He usually likes to sing in karaoke.

I think, maybe, he's just tired
having been out in the sun all day.

He's not a young man anymore,
you know that.

-Right.
-Really?

Leave him in peace.

-Aof, you'll come with us, right?
-Yes.

Come on, I'll let you sing
ten songs in a row.

-All right?
-All right. See you.

-See you. Drive carefully.
-Bye-bye.

Aof, see you.

What do you think you're doing?

-What?
-Want a lift to the main road?

I'm going to the karaoke place with you.

Who invited you?

Your friends did.

Old ladies have hearing problems.

Hey, didn't you know?

They asked you to come because they see

you've come out
even though it's your day off.

They just said it out of courtesy. Get it?

What about having some courtesy yourself?

-What the hell?
-Yes!

Fine. Hurry up then.

Shut your mouth now.
Since I've let you come with us.

Sure, sis, my pleasure.

-It's so hot.
-What's that?

A skunk would faint
under your armpits, you idiot!

-Broken heart
-Broken heart

-Perhaps he's the one
-Perhaps he's the one

-Who'll treat me kindly
-Who'll treat me kindly

The one who'll make my life easy

Bee!

Yes. I was Pang's first love.

-Crazy!
-Hi.

-Hi, girls.
-Hi.

-Hello.
-Come here, quick.

-Oh, you guys are done?
-Go ahead.

This looks yummy.

Do you want some?

Bee.

You can't claim that one. He's Pom's pet.

-Watch what you say.
-I get it.

That's why he looks, kind of, gloomy
being swallowed by the Queen of Night.

Who would sport a sun
on his head like you do?

Right here.

Don't. I'll do it. Okay.

-Beer?
-Yes, thanks.

-Beer?
-No, thanks.

I have my wine cooler.

I see.

Do you know why guys like drinking beer?

A man's palate is mute
to the bitter taste.

That's why they think beer
tastes so great.

If he's not a real man,
then he'll prefer something sweet.

Let's cheers!

If you drink too much beer,

you'll develop white spots
on your fingernails.

Do you have them, Aof?

No, I don't.

Do you have them, Kong?

No, I don't.

That's right.

Yours look healthy.

-Do they?
-Yes.

It's Pang's big day
so let's make this party wild!

Drink this.

Come on, drink like a man.

-Bottoms up!
-Bottoms up!

Bottoms up!

-Yes!
-Yeah!

-More!
-More!

-Yes!
-More!

-More!
-More!

-More!
-More!

-More!
-More!

-More!
-Keep going.

Who requested this song?

-I did.
-How come?

-Whose song is it?
-It's his song.

-Come on. Let's sing.
-Let's sing.

Why stay single, and live a lonely life?

Get yourself a date

Before you get too old

Born lonely and die a gloomy life

Let us just get married because
You get nothing in living a single life

If you don't mind me

Let's love each other

I've been falling for you
For a long time now

If you don't mind me
Let's put our hearts together

Just think of it as helping me out

Can you say it again?

I didn't listen to you
But I have been wanting to do so

Bring your heart out so I can prove it

Because words are not enough

Bring your heart out

Just bring it out here
And then we will talk

Let me see your heart

Baby!

Kong's moves are quite slick.

-Just like a dancer.
-What?

I think he moves like a cabaret showgirl.

Don't judge a man when he's drunk.

-What?
-What?

Who requested this song?

Not me.

-Who requested Carabao's song?
-It's you.

-Are you nuts?
-Have you heard it?

I've never heard it before.

It's you.

Bua Loy, my best friend

How come we part so soon?

It's Kong's song!

Bua Loy, where are you now?

Have you any idea that I miss you?

Bua Loy

Kong!

Hey, is it you, Kong?

Do you remember me?

-Pat?
-Right.

I haven't seen you since high school.

Where have you been?

You look great.

Firm body.

Strong shoulders.

I work out.

That's what I thought.

Are you coming to the high school reunion?

I guess so.

You don't sound like you really want to.

Just give me your number, then.

It's 05...

-555...
-555...

-1111.
-1111.

Cool.

Hey, that's me calling.

-Got it.
-So you can save my number.

-Got it.
-See you again.

Do you know him?

He's a friend from high school.

I see.

Kong's real name is Pathawee, right?

-Yes.
-Yes.

Pathawee.

Pat.

Must be this one,

the dark handsome guy
I saw in the toilet with Kong.

-It's him.
-Is it?

Oh, my god! Look.

They're sitting so close to each other.

Their fingers must have been entwined.

Right?

For sure.

-Hey!
-Look!

-Hey!
-Oh!

They have a picture together.

This isn't looking good.

He's on top of him!

What is this note?

-What?
-Right.

-And why did Kong scratch it off?
-Right.

There must be a reason.

-And we have to know what it is.
-Yeah.

Drive home safely.

Okay.

Are you sure you're gonna let Aof
crash out here?

He can take care of himself.

He'll find his way home in the morning.

-Okay.
-Don't worry.

You girls go ahead.

I'll take care of the boy.

I've bothered you since this morning.

-Thanks a lot.
-Okay.

-Okay, I'll go.
-Thank you.

-Go straight back to your temple.
-All right.

If you love him, stay and watch over him.

But just watch, okay?
Don't try to get inside the boy's pants.

Stop it. Go home.

Leave.

Even without touching him...

I bet she's already fallen in love.

I said cut it out.

Go on, big mouth.

Fai, try to find Kong's yearbook.
Find the one in decent condition.

At five o'clock,
the boys must be up and ready.

At seven, they'll present themselves
in the line, neat and tidy.

Otherwise, they'll be whipped
without mercy.

In class, they'll have
to be diligent, and not lazy.

Please fill out the application form.

And please be quick.

May I call a time-out, sir?

Please let me have a look
at the other corner.

There.

That's good.

Right.

Tree. Draw a tree.

All right.

Draw it.

Yes, like that.

And the tree.

Yes, a tree like that. Well done.

Yes, like that.

More trees. Lots of trees.

This is it.

Mom, what are you doing?

-Sir, this book is really interesting.
-Yeah.

May I borrow it for a few days?

Why would you want to read a yearbook?

Forget it.

-Are they good?
-Yeah.

Hey.

-Hey.
-Did you get it?

How was it?

No.

Mom, you want this book, right?

That's my boy.

I got you the book, so you must promise
not to send me to this school.

-Sure, sweetie, I won't.
-No, we won't.

-He's smarter than his mother.
-You're so smart.

WHEN I GROW UP,
I WANT TO BE A RUGBY PLAYER.

"Love of the rugby game, we all share.

Behind the line,
we fight against the sun's glare."

"The match is tough,
but we'll push forward."

"Locker room, finally,
after we've triumphed fair and square."

Is this school Dead Poets Society or what?

Hey, this time, I'm not chipping in
on the fuel expense, okay?

What did you say?

We've come this far
and got nothing out of it.

Why is it so hard to judge
someone's character these days?

Are those "gay theories" really working?

Kong.

Your uncle, the flower expert,
is he married?

How did they live together?

They waited
until the kids grew up, I guess.

That doesn't sound like a good life.

Are you tired?

A little.

That feels good.

Okay. Who's next?

TSUKIBAYA

Come sit down.

Darling, Pang's coming to join us.
Is that okay?

If you're hungry,
we can start without her.

Let me get this for you.

Is this promotion card still valid?

I am really sorry.

This promotion expired last week.

But that's fine. If you bring
your father here next month,

you will receive
a 50% promotional discount.

Go on, dig in.

Too old...

I am for you.

What?

I... I too old for you.

Oh.

You have to say it like this.

"I'm too old for you."

We...

don't really suit each other.

What?

Pat.

Pat.

Pat!

Are you listening to me?

Pang, don't take it seriously.

Sometimes, I save people's numbers

so I don't have to answer their call.

Maybe he let it ring

just because I was there with him.

Pat, it's a girl's name.

-Pat.
-What?

Or is it you, Pat?

Are you plotting
to steal from your best friend?

That's crazy.

Pang, listen to me.

If you're made for each other,

then nothing can change that.

-Pat.
-What?

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

-I'm fine.
-You don't look so well.

Eat. You like this, right?

I know it's all over

I know you want us to be friends

Do you know

How much it hurts inside?

When love...

It hurts me morning and night

It's over

Our love is history

It's tiring

Pat.

The light is green now.

Are you all right?

Pat, the light!

Pat...

Roll down your window.

Pat, are you okay?

Can you please move your car?

I can't do it.

Ken Chan doesn't love me anymore.

I have nothing left.

Well, can you please shift to neutral?

Straighten the wheels.

The eggs are ready.

Would you like me to knead it for you?

I'm fine, thanks.

That one needs some kneading, though.

She looks so tired.

Go.

How have you been doing, young lady?

You look exhausted.

Kong.

Do you think

we're gonna make it?

Hey.

Isn't it too late to ask?

What happened?

Have you been seeing
fortune-tellers again?

No.

I'm just asking.

Why did you choose me?

I'm happy when I'm with you.

We have so many things in common.

Do whatever you want to do.

I've had enough of worldly emotions.

But my dear Pat,
Pang's engagement is tomorrow.

This is our last chance to enlighten her.

SELFISHNESS IS A TERRIBLE VICE

Pat,

why do they write the first word
in bold letters?

The first word is always
the most meaningful one.

Pat, where's your car?

We've got to run.

Come on. Quickly.

"Love... in... the... locker... room."

Love in the locker room!

How could they do it

when they're covered in mud and sweat?

Gross.

Don't you know that having sweaty bodies
makes it more exciting!

-Gross.
-What?

Nim, you're sick!

We have to call that guy Pat.

PAT THONKIATKAMJORN

Quick.

PHONE 221-8575

What do you want?

May I speak to Pat?

Pat's not here.

He's...

He's gone.

Gone? He's dead?

-When did it happen?
-No!

-No, he's gone out of town.
-Louder.

Just get him on the phone, will you?

-What?
-Give it here.

I can't get him. He's in Rayong.

Give me his cell phone number, then.

It's 01...

9...

7...

8, 8...

-51.
-Thank you.

Wait, two more digits.

Thanks.

What did she say?

-Pat's gone to Rayong.
-Rayong?

If he's out of town, don't use my phone.

The last call cost me
over 10 baht already.

-Come on.
-What the hell.

You have the guts to be stingy
at this critical moment.

What a cheap ass.

The number you have dialed
is currently unavailable.

No signal?

The number you have dialed
is currently unavailable.

I can't reach him.

-What do we do?
-What now?

-The ceremony is tomorrow.
-Right.

-Pang.
-Yes?

You know we've been good friends,
and we wish you nothing but the best.

Tomorrow's your big day,

but we have something important
to tell you.

Okay.

Pom, go ahead. Tell her.

I don't know...

What is it, Pom?

There's something I have to tell you.

Promise me you're not going to be upset.

The thing is, can you postpone
the engagement?

Why do you say that?

I've prepared everything.

Is it anything serious?

We can't get our dresses made in time.

-Yeah.
-Your dresses?

Yeah.

I have to postpone because of that?

Because Kong's gay.

And I don't like seeing my friend
being deceived.

Fine.

We have to prepare to face the worst.

At least...

we're doing everything we can.

-See you later.
-Bye.

This is Pat speaking.
May I know who's calling?

We're Kong's friends.

We have to ask you an important question.

Fai, get in the car.

-Get in the car!
-Get in the car!

Pat, you know Kong quite well, right?

Can you tell us if he's a straight guy?

Why don't you ask him?

Because we don't trust him.

We can't be sure if he's been lying to us.

Why would he do that?

To cover his identity
by marrying a good woman.

Hold on.

Is Kong really what we think he is?

Don't run away. Wait!

Is Kong duping all of us?

I just told you
Kong doesn't deceive anyone.

Don't cover for him.

We know you two had a thing together.

This is our evidence.

This is our evidence.

What do you want from me?

We want the truth.

What happened that day
in the locker room between you two?

Why can't you just tell us the truth?

Tomorrow, they're gonna get married,
and it will be too late.

That's none of my business.

It's none of your business,

but it's everything in the life
of a poor naive girl.

Look.

I'm just a gay guy.

Why should I go out and save humanity?

Pat, I need to go to the toilet.

Me too.

-Yeah.
-I am about to burst.

-Really?
-Me, too.

-What a waste. It's broken now.
-Run.

-Hey.
-Hurry up.

If you're all set,

I need to use the toilet too.

-No.
-No.

Can't you see we're in a hurry?

Come on, let's go.

-What are you standing around for?
-Hurry!

Perhaps she is the one

Whose heart is not cruel

Stick it on, stick it on hard.

-Come and stick it on.
-Stick it on.

-Help me.
-There she comes.

I must compliment you
on these exquisite flowers.

It's my masterpiece,
this being my nephew's engagement.

Please squeeze in for a group photo.

Right here. Move forward a little.

-Hello, Uncle.
-Hey.

-Hello.
-Hello, Uncle.

-Hello.
-Hello, Aunt.

-How are you?
-Thank you.

-Let's take a picture together.
-Sure.

Where's the photographer?

Come over here.

We should've stopped
at my salon for a quick hairstyling.

You still have a heart
to think about business.

Kong, let's take a photo.

-Another one, please.
-Yes.

One, two.

-Thanks.
-Thank you.

Hey.

Gosh.

Why are you so late?

I thought you were joking
about your unfinished dresses.

I never knew you were serious.

It's all right. Let's take some pictures.

The makeup guy you recommended is great.

Kong, the gang's here.
Let's take some photos.

Do you like the flowers?

Kong.

-Yes?
-The gang's here.

-Let's take some photos.
-Sure.

-Please take a photo.
-Come on, guys.

Could the groom get closer
to the bride, please.

-Like that.
-Okay.

Everybody, smile.

-Kong, smile.
-Okay.

One, two.

Thanks.

It's been ages since we last took
a group photo.

Pat.

Hello, Pat.

Kong.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Don't tell me you didn't feel
anything that day?

Pat.

Catch.

How long can you hide it from yourself?

I've done what you asked me to do.

Do you really have to go this far?

But we're doing it for your own good.

Right. We're doing this for you.

I don't want any of you
to do anything for me again.

Stop messing up my life!

Go ahead, then.

Marry your gay husband!

Who turned it on?

Oh, my god!

That's a lie.

Kong is not gay!

Maybe he's the one

I've been looking for

The one I've been dreaming for

The one

Who'll treat me kindly

Maybe he's the one

The one

Who'll make my whole life easy

The one who'll always

Be with me

Maybe we've really gone too far.

How is it too far?

We've done our best.

We have to tell them the truth.

But it's rude of us to do it here today.

There so many guests there.

And the people who are older than us
didn't even stop us.

Hey.

How can you blame me?

We're in this together.

Shit.

Good afternoon.

Mr. Kenishiro is still in a meeting.

Please remind Mr. Kenishiro

that he's got an appointment
with the doctor tomorrow.

Pat?

With warm regards
from Bumrungrad Hospital.

I've got this for you.

An offering to the Queen of Night?

You only got me black things.

Stop behaving like a little boy, will you?

Hi, this is Pang.

Leave a message,
and I will get back to you.

Paul. Peak.

What happened to your faces?

What?

They got into a fight with some girls.

Your boys want to be the beauty queens.

What?

Joe.

Oh.

Joe, where are you?

He's gone out to see a client.

He probably won't come back.

Tob, you told me you couldn't make it!

It's a surprise, my dear.

I thought I'd have to go
to the Loy Krathong Festival by myself.

Fai, let's close up early today.

Let's take the boys
to Loy Krathong Festival.

Which one is the prettiest?

Shall we go?

Sopa.

You want to leave already?

You want to leave? Have you eaten yet?

Take the boys
to see the fireworks outside.

This one is mine.

Go on.

Here are the candles.

Have you heard, Joe,

that according to statistics,
80 percent of Thai women

lose their virginity
on Loy Krathong night.

Yes, I've read about that.

Aren't you going to float
a krathong tonight?

Whose ring is that?

-Who is it for?
-Whose ring is that?

It's lovely.

Will you marry myself?

I mean...

Will you marry me?

It's sad

when our good intentions

are misunderstood.

But don't give up.

Take me for example.

I won't give up easily.

I made this for you.

No, Mrs. Chamaipon made it.

I prefer this one, by the way.

What are you smiling at?

Go pack your things.
Are you going to float it tonight or not?

-Loy Loy Krathong
-Loy Loy Krathong

Loy Loy Krathong is here...

I'm not your mommy.

No need to take my hand.

-I'm not lost either.
-Yeah, right.

It's not like you lose your way,
but you lost your...

Don't go around dropping your things.

I wanted to give it you personally.

Can you do me a favor?

Come help me make the sweets.

You brought the suspect to my house?

I was forced into it.

Here.

Hey.

Do you think I'm gay?

There's a possibility.

What does that mean?

Try it once, and you'll know what I mean.

I'm not sure.

Kong, this life is for only yours to live.

How long can you live
with this uncertainty?

I think you already have the answer.

Now, it's a question
of whether you can accept it.

SALT, SUGAR

Stop.

That's salt.

Are you going to dump it all?

The ingredients were wrong from the start.

Even if you continue,
it's already inedible.

Dumping it now is your best bet.

You can't turn salt into sugar.

-Don't cry.
-I'm not crying.

I'm covered with flour now.

Pang, I believe I owe you an explanation.

You may think I've deceived you.

But believe me...

all along, I've only deceived myself.

I know I've hurt your feelings.

And I've also hurt myself.

And I'm confused.

I'm sorry.

Don't blame yourself.

Is that you, Pang?

How are you?

You can always talk to me.

I swear, I'll zip my mouth shut.

Fai, I know the whole gang is there.

Can you put me on loudspeaker, will you?

Girls,

stop making those long faces.

Pom, when will you quit picking your nose?

I've...

cleared it all up with Kong.

We're getting married next month.

-What?
-What?

What?

Just kidding!

-Idiot!
-Kidding.

May I ask you a favor?

Don't hate Kong for this.

Come on.

Well...

Pang...

we'll never hate him.

We did all those things because...

we wanted you to be happy. Understand?

Goodness.

-Thank you.
-Or else, I wouldn't have skipped work.

-Right.
-And Fai, she lost so many clients.

-And she's made a baby.
-Dinner's served!

Waew's here herself!

-Come here.
-Okay.

I've ordered you a special menu.

Gut-twisting food from the head chef.

-We know.
-We already know.

Have you checked your fortune or not?

Let's party now that it's all over.

-Let's do it.
-Okay.

-Come on.
-Let's go.

A man may enter our lives
and leave us in tears.

Right.

But a girlfriend will always be there.

I like it.

-Look at her ring.
-Wow.

-It's a beautiful ring.
-Right.

-I'm so jealous of you.
-Your order's here.

Please separate the beef pot
from the pork pot.

There's no need.
Let's eat from the same pot.

-Why?
-Why's that?

You're eating beef now?

-Right.
-No.

But it's so lonely eating from my own pot.

-Come on.
-I know.

I love you.

-Right.
-Right.

But can you finish all this?

-Sure.
-Sure?

I've been craving sour food for days.

But, Fai...

-Yes?
-If you're eating this much...

-What?
-...you'll have to pay for two portions.

Can't you be a little generous
to your godchild in my womb?

You'll have to name him baby Loy Krathong.

Isn't that right?

Idiot.

Then my two other boys would've been
called Halloween and Christmas.

Oh, that's good.

What's up with you, guys?

-What?
-Your husband likes to score on holidays.

-Yeah.
-Gosh.

You're lucky to have so many kids.

The fortune-teller said

I'll meet my match again when I turn 40.

Come on.

We'll take care of you.

I almost forgot, Kong has brought
souvenirs for all of you.

-Give it to me.
-Share them among yourselves.

-Where did he go this time?
-Thanks.

He went to organize
a fashion show in Milan.

-Really?
-Wow.

-He's sweet.
-Yeah.

He must have a good time traveling around.

Right. Will he have time
to join us for dinner?

Is he busy?

Don't trust the fortune-tellers.

We have to find our own soulmates.

-Right.
-Yes.

-Right.
-Look at me.

More water?

This boy isn't bad-looking,

-don't you think?
-Yeah.

Careful! There's sauce on the floor.

Subtitle translation by Kong Rithdee