Mary! Mary! (1977) - full transcript

(Epic Orchestral music)

(Jaws Shark attack sounds)

(Laughing)

You should have seen your face!

I'll show you a face!

(Trippy Folk music)

You did it again...

I don't know why you can't control
yourself.

It's very, very frustrating

I'm sorry, it just seems
to happen

You'd better do something
quick.



Hey up there, can you hear me?

I'd give anything not to
come so quick.

Ah even he won't listen

Oh, there's a chill in the air.

Hey down there, I'd give my soul
to keep it up.

(Eerie sounds)

(Lightning Strike)

That can be arranged!

Who the hell are you?

Relax! Take it easy!

I'm called "The Arranger"

The Arranger my ass...

You said you would give your soul
not to come so quickly

I can arrange that.



DO IT!

Not so fast.

Am I going to be perpetually turned
on by this?

Absolutely

And he won't come too
quickly?

For sure, I personally guarantee it

Yes yes, it's a deal!

Wait a minute, my soul?

I can't fuck your soul!

Exactly what's involved in this
"deal"

It's simple, just listen.

(Lighting strike)

You can eat it from the jar, rub
it on, cook it in your food!

Have it as a dessert!

Mix it in a glass of tea

It will always refill itself

Put it on a steak

anything at all

Do it, take it, make the deal!
Now!

Is this some kind of shuck?

How do I know that this isn't
some sort of trick?

(lightning strike)

Need I say more?

Come on let's try it.

(mysterious bells)

(springing)

Holy shit!

Would you look at that?

Yes sir its a deal

Come now sir?

You heard the lady,
it's a deal

Thank god

HE had nothing to do with it

Oh Mary!

Mary, Mary

(Evil sounds)

Mary....

It's so good.

I can feel it

It's so big, all the way in

Harder, harder

Yeah the cable car goes by
and I go crazy

Yeah right

I tell ya, I want to turn some
people on to this

Saturday night

We'll have a party

You know who to invite

I tell you what, I'll talk to you a
little later alright?

So long

I see you've got your hands full

Oh poor baby

Did you bang it on the desk?

No no, I just sprained my ankle or
something

I love the way you are hung

I like it, I really like it

Some ones gonna come in here
any minute

Oh you bruised it on a desk,
can I kiss it and make it better?

(tender flute music)

(door opening)

Oh man, this place is really getting
to be a drag

Talked to the Lab today, those
assholes can't do anything right

Every time you try to talk to them,
they lay all this artistic bull

shit on you, as if I didn't know
what a good photograph was

Oh my god

Hey partner what's wrong with you?
You don't look so well today

These assholes around here, they
just work you too damn hard

You ok man? What's wrong with you?
You're jumpin all over the place

Come on let's go have lunch

God this office is driving
me crazy

Can't even smoke a joint in here
for christsakes

I can just imagine what it would
be like if you want to get laid

A major production on
television

God damn

Hey mother fuckers, here's
your commercial

Hank, I'm busy now
why don't you....

What the hell is wrong with you,
we are supposed to go have lunch

Look I can't have lunch,
give me a break,

Get the fuck out of here

Oh fuck you man

You look like you are about ready
to come

Hey brother, you are too weird
for me

Oh that was great

I'm still turned on

You know, you've really improved

That was fan fucking tastic

and all for the price of a soul

I am gonna have a hell of
a party Saturday night

and you are going to come, come,
come

Great I'll bring my sister

Can she appreciate the levity of
the situation

to a release the tension?

What?

Is she a good fuck?

Backwards, sideways, and upside
down

Great position

(birds chirping)

I really think you
should try this one

You have such a lovely
figure

Come let's try it

(organ music)

Harry

Hey fuck you man, huh?

Hey man, now look, I just got
hung up a little bit this afternoon

Eh, sure you did, I guess you really
know you are a motherfucker

Look I'll turn you on to something
that will make you smile from ear

to ear

Yeah sure you will

Hey look, its gonna be Saturday
at my house, everyone

gonna be there

You know what that means

You can drive out with me

Yeah ok, ok I'll be there

Kid outta smile a little more,
you know what I mean?

What about your sister?

Ah, my sister swings a lot

(organ)

You have such lovely breasts

You really shouldn't conceal them

Their not concealed now

How lovely

Oh is that something new?
I don't remember that

You are so beautiful

So soft

Nice and soft and beautiful

Isn't that as sweet as I am?

Come on sweet heart, come here

Oh you are so soft and sweet

Oh touch me there

Your pubic hair is like silk

I am still so turned on, I don't
know what to do

Even after the best head you've
ever had in your life?

Who said it was the best?

Who said it wasn't?

It was pretty good

You have to watch your position
in that firm there

Don't get carried away

You can always get a new
secretary

What's this about the party?

I can't wait to get to that party

I am going to be fucking everything
in sight

Yeah what makes you think so?

Yeah maybe you will be

I think I will

You have a nice cock too

You give head so good

You were the one telling me a few
minutes ago it wasn't so good.

I was just putting you on a little
bit

Isn't that as sweet as I am?

OH MY GOD!

Ladies, what is it that you
are doing here?

This is a place of business,
and not that kind of business.

Oh why Charles

This is one of my best customers

I shouldn't wonder

and you see she has a particular
problem, why

we were trying on some undies

and her little pussy is very
bare of hair

and she needs something soft

that won't cut

You see Mr. Carlyle,

Charles

Well you can see my problem

I am always interested in my
customers problems

How is it that I may help you

I am a little shy

I've never exposed myself like
this to anyone before

Except my doctor

Listen sweetie, I've seen so many of
those things,

more than your doctor,
ever in his lifetime

What about this, lovely for spring
don't you think?

See the bump?

I can't say that I do,
here let me try a couple of fingers

Oh I love it, so nice
with your hair

Oh that feels better

I have an idea

here Charles, stand up

Wait a minute ladies,
what are you doing now?

Don't be so stuffy Charles

Brother!

Be cool,

Mother!

Robert!

Good heavens ladies, what is it
that you are doing to me?

We will be very gentle

I have to tell you
something about myself

Would you like a cock Charles?

Will you watch where
you are driving?

I am trying to but you keep
distracting me

I can't wait to get you and your
sister together

Make a little sandwich

With you in the middle?

Depends, I like to be on top

You know, like the mayonnaise

How long have you lived up here?

Charlie Sweet, I am going to give
you a rare treat

I am going to let you
fuck me in the ass

Oh, what do you think about that?

Oh it's so hard to get it into my
tight little asshole though...

Isn't that nice?

Isn't that sweet?

That's a nice ass

Yes taste her little pussy

Oh shhh, you like that

Just like Mom's

That's not so bad, its almost just
like a dickie isn't it?

Charles is good at this

He learns fast

Oh Charlie I want to marry you,
will you marry me?

Oh, if Robert only saw you now,
you would be in trouble

Oh Charlie, look at what you have
just done

What did I just do?

Now I am going to
marry you for sure!

No, no, no!

This is terrible

How could I have done this?

How are you going to tell Robert?

This is terrible, how
could I have done this?

This is terrible

Do you want to hear something
far out?

We found the love
potion

and we are celebrating with
a party on Saturday

Oh wow,

I want you to come

I wouldn't miss it for anything

Here darling, try this one

I would rather see something
with flowers on it

Thank god for something normal

Kate we have company

You want a drink?

Yeah scotch on the rocks

If you got it

Ok

Hi how you doin?

Ah that is the counterpart
to penthouse right?

They have some fantastic letters in
there

Yeah they do

This one is about middle aged women
and young married men

Sort of a nice change, why should
the men always get the young ones?

Probably because the men write
the books

I just can't stop getting turned on

You are putting me on

It's the vision

I had this vision where
I couldn't stop fucking

But tell me, how did both of you
get turned on to each other?

That's an interesting story, huh?

It was awhile ago, I was 16,
she was about 14

I was dating and I had this date
with a

guy, all he wanted to do is
make it with me

he ended up coming in
his pants

Then I walked into our house
and I heard our parents

They were really fucking away
it was ah

it was the sound of bed springs,
that kind of thing

Well I walked in our room
and uh

there she was, she was lying
nude

asleep, drenched in moonlight

god it was so beautiful

and um

I got undressed

walked over

she opened her eyes

we just looked at each other

and we kissed, it was
very natural

we got so excited, we started
rubbing each other

and we suddenly came

and um

we took a bath together

and we learned all the
other delights

you know like

tongues, things like that

it was a really beautiful experience

I like men too, most of them are a
little macho

I like um, making love with Bonnie

It's like the best of all worlds

Do you want your pants off?

You wanna take them off?

I want more meat

I love you so much

Watch the bone

Your balls are so good

Can I help?

No not now

You know if I trip I think I will
pull one out the window

Come on get out of here and
let me work

I wonder how we are going to
use this so everyone gets some

Put it in a drink

Why don't you make a
nice big dessert

Ah that's it

I'll shape it like your cock, a
super cock mold that

everyone can eat.

If it affects everyone
like it does me

Uh oh

This wind is horrendous

I couldn't get the jag out in time

This is the last time I ask
you to drive

Hey this is gonna be a good party

Hey save some of that

I haven't been to a
good party in ages

Hey we can start the party
now, he's driving

Yeah why don't you come over here
and suck my cock

Now Rookie Hopper I am sure you
realize the value of a stakeout

What did they teach you at the
academy about this procedure?

(garbled speech)

What did you say Rookie Hopper?

No sir they didn't teach us
this at the academy

Well they certainly did when I was
there

Continue

Yes sir

Say Rookie Hopper did you
hear the joke about the pervert?

Little boy asked his Daddy

"Daddy, Daddy, whats a
pervert?

Father answers

Shut up son, just keep suckin

You didn't find that funny did you
officer Hopper?

God damn, shit, you'll get enough
of that later on tonight

Jesus can't you drive for crying
out loud?

Oh Jesus! Really?

I think I swallowed your cock!

Freddy, get those mother fuckers!

I'll get those bastards

Fucking cops, I told
you cunts to cut it out!

Fred you passed a stop sign

I don't want to go to jail, I wanna
go to the party

Come on let's go!

He's gaining on us,
come on lets go

WATCH OUT!

FASTER FRED! GET EM!

Garbage cans,
WATCH OUT!

GET EM FRED
NO THIS WAY!

Mary, you are beautiful

Oh I'll get that

How you doin?

You didn't have to, we have plenty

Oh I just thought

You are the first to come

It's Jane

Why don't you go into the living
room, I'll be there in a minute

Scotch right? Right

Can I do anything to help?

Uh no, I am almost done

Oh, what's this?

This is a special treat for the
evening

Wait and see

Oh what I could do with a cock
like that

You do alright without one

What do you think about
our little creations?

Oh I want it, I want it

Oh, more people

(Bongo and flute music)

Ned Delmont?

Yes?

I'm Andre

We are here for the party

Oh yeah, of course, come
right in

You wanna come in too?

Live music? That's great

Drink?

No thanks

Well that is some sort of table?
How does it work?

You'll see,
I have some magic in my hands

Can we get a good uptempo?

Hey a drummer tonight

It's no that I don't dig guys
I just prefer women

I sense a great
change in you

Why don't we slip away
and get a quickie in early?

Do you know that some people like
to get the crap scared out of them?

Especially when they are kids

Why?

I don't know, I always had to tell
little wolf bane stories

When I had to babysit

What kind of stories did you tell?

You know you gotta set the mood,
(scary sounds)

I've never fucked in
this room before

Well there is always a first time

It's such a nice night

It is pretty isn't it?

Wonderful view

Oh take it off

Oh you look so good in it

Oh you couldn't believe it man
here comes a woman cop

She's got a billy club, waving it in
the air, I thought she was gonna

shove it up my ass

(shouting)

She was a real hockey puck
if she was anything at all

(shouting)

I am sure glad it's over
I never thought we would get here

I always wanted to see a scene here
Boris Karloff is a child molester

(Boris Karloff imitation if he was
a child molester)

Legosi was a letch right?
Come, come, come to my castle

You know biting people on the neck

Always the busty ones,
you ever notice that?

Oh yes come into my castle
I want to suck your blood

Hi boss here I am for the party

Why do we have here?

What do we have here?
You never wore this to the office

Which way does it go?

Isn't this sweet?

I think it's about time

Ok

Shut up!

We have made a very special delight

For all your pleasures

(cheering)

I'll tell you something

It's the best god damn thing
I've ever ate

Hey give me some of that

Everyone must eat some

A toast, a toast, a toast!

To the best cock in the world

and heres the prototype

I'm not really that hungry

Good

It's so fucking good

I've never fucked this much
before in my whole life

Hey man what are you gonna
leave for, this is ridiculous

Yeah come on you guys
I haven't gotten to you yet

God Damn, I want more of
that

More!

It's so good

We are all together now

(Screaming)

(coughing)

(lightning)

Even though you are dead
we are all one

Come

Come with me

It is arranged