Marshal Law (1996) - full transcript
In the hills not far from Los Angeles, a new, fresh, secure housing area has been built by former U.S. Marshal Jack Coleman and a friend. An escaped convict, Cougar and a band of ten psychopaths invade this safe area after a violent earthquake. With aid of a pizza delivery boy, he must defend his family and his friends wife Lilly, and declares Marshal Law.
Now, Dwight, now you tell me.
You got anything special
planned for next week?
Well, Chuck, I'm fixing to
head out of L.A. for a few days.
If that's possible, the way
the freeways are right now.
Well, anyhow,
I'm fixing to head out...
Horses seem a little wound up today.
Well...
The damn water, most likely.
Gus, how many times
we been through this?
Hell, I just help build them.
I don't like them either.
But they didn't screw
up your water.
Well...
I guess this is the last
I'm gonna hear of it, though.
We're fixing to head
home tomorrow.
Oh.
Well, it figures.
Most everybody's leaving L.A.
You tell that big-shot
friend of yours,
just because he sent me
an invite to his party
that don't make him a neighbour.
Hey, y'all quit!
Hey, come on, I said, quit!
She started it.
He said my fancy dress
made me look like a butt
end of a bull.
Josh, did you say that?
I don't know what
I'm gonna do with you kids.
We're fixing to drive back home.
Y'all better shape up.
Go on, apologise.
You ain't that bad.
I've heard better.
You're gonna be the pride
of the party.
Now you say it.
Honey, you already
know what I think.
Hot diggity dog.
Did you feel that one, folks?
Don't even ask me what that
one was on the Richter scale
because I just don't care anymore.
They're all bad.
Yep, Caltech says that
makes it 10,000 aftershocks
since the Northridge nasty.
There ought to be some sort of reward
for going through that many shakes.
But I guess that reward is just
living here in sunny California.
So settle back in the saddle,
folks, and enjoy the ride.
Please. Please.
I got a family.
Oh!
I got a rhyme.
This little piggy went to prison.
And these little piggies stayed home.
Please.
So...
this little piggy...
Excuse me!
Mr. Nelson!
That's bullshit.
No, I'm telling you,
it's bullshit!
I'm paying for security, all right?
Mr. Nelson?
Randall?
Have you seen Jack Coleman?
He's out on the Chisholm Trail.
What the fuck do I know, all right?
I thought you were planning
on being a human being today.
I was. Okay,
I'll call you back.
Jose, not the Impala,
el Mustang.
This makes me look
like a gang member, okay?
Hey, guys!
Hey, have any of you guys
seen the site manager?
Who?
Jack Coleman.
I haven't seen him all day.
Nowhere?
Sorry, man.
Mr. Coleman!
Mr. Coleman!
How you doing, Bobby?
Not too good, sir.
Hi, Bobby.
Come on, kids.
Hi, kids.
You got that look in your eyes.
You know, I punched
out at noon today.
I know, sir, but
this is a problem.
I mean, this is heavy.
Heavy.
Kids, go on and get washed up.
I'm sorry.
Mm-hmm.
Go on now.
Give it back, Josh!
Josh, give it back.
Give it back.
Josh!
Hey, Bobby.
Hey, Gus.
Hi, Jack.
You all right?
You gotta take a look
at these regulators.
Everything was
fine this morning.
Then the aftershock hit.
And with you leaving and all,
I don't know what we should do.
Just don't tell anyone.
Really?
I mean, okay, but...
My lips are sealed.
Bobby, you're just
dumber than dirt.
Jack, arrest that man.
Go back, Gus.
Yeah, fuck you, Gus.
Damn.
Those gas regulators,
it's a serious problem.
You know, Jack, I just can't
believe that you wanna go now.
Randall, don't start.
"Don't start." Jack,
did you see this?
Did you see this?
What?
Centaur's safe-room codes
for all the houses on the block.
Now, these are fucking ex-cops.
What do they program?
Rudolph and Santa's
fucking reindeer.
Listen, Randall, sooner or later
those regulators are gonna blow.
Yeah, yeah.
Come here. Look.
Now...
they said it's user-friendly.
It works.
Mm-hmm.
The regulators,
it's a serious problem.
You know where
I'm at, don't you?
You, you're gonna be
out, what, under the stars,
roasting hot dogs
and all that happy shit.
Me, I gotta unload
these fucking houses.
You...
You're walking out on me.
My job here's finished, Randall.
And I ain't walking.
I'm running.
Yeah. Well...
fuck you too.
You will order those
regulators now, right?
Okay, you know,
will you look at that?
I mean, that shit's gotta last
through the party.
You think I got enough?
Three strikes, and you're out.
Come here, Butchie.
Let me deputise you.
--Los Angeles County...
I hereby declare you a Johnny Law.
What they done
to you inside, Butchie, huh?
Zapped your strength?
Come on, Butch.
Come on, Butch.
Come on, Coug.
Police
are still searching for clues
in the brutal, double homicide
of two sheriff's deputies
earlier today.
The deputies were transporting
Benjamin Jones
to L.A.'s maximum-security
prison near Santa Clarita.
Jones had recently been
sentenced to life without parole
under California's strict
new three-strikes
and you're out provision,
for his part in a series of brutal home
invasions that have terrorised L.A.
Jones is missing and considered
armed and extremely dangerous.
You got mentioned on the radio,
Butchie. That's fucking cool.
You're a fucking stud!
Now you're gonna be
a fucking king, my friend.
Leave him alone, man.
We gotta get this guy a woman.
It's party time.
Hi.
I think it's like "Xanydu."
Good.
Highland Glen, I am loving it.
And, Randall, I am loving you.
Ho, ho, ho!
I am gonna be rich.
It's the kind of place where you
might see Zsa Zsa borrowing
a cup of sugar from Merv.
It's sumptuous, yet real.
Tell me you love me, baby.
The place I would love to bring you.
Say hi to Randall.
I'm Boot. This is Josh.
Our dad built this whole place,
and he says we're gonna--
Randall, another party video?
Would you look at me in person,
not through the camera?
Hey! Hey, kids. Hey, Jack.
A wasted Santa. What a gyp.
Josh.
Hey, look what I got for you guys.
Awesome.
Josh, why don't you take
Boot near the bandstand
and fill up on some
stocking stuffers, okay.
We got teddy bears
and candy canes
and stick-on tattoos.
All right? You have fun.
Go on.
Anything you want.
Damn, I wish I had your touch.
It's called bribery.
Well, you should think about
getting some of your own.
What, stocking stuffers?
Kids.
Oh, please. You know
Randall and I have agreed
to an alternative relationship.
"Alternative."
You two are living
together, aren't you?
So, what do you guys do
down there in Texas, anyhow?
Well, you know, chew tobacco,
spit, whup each other's ass
at cowboy poetry.
We're gonna miss you, Jack.
It's time.
It's been 16 months now
since the kids' mom passed away.
It's time to go back home.
And it's Christmas.
They're excited.
I hear you guys are camping out
at the Colonial tonight.
Yeah, we're out
of the apartment, so...
Are you looking forward to it?
Camping out?
No. Going home.
Hey, come here. I want you
to meet some people.
Come on.
Now, you can't get this entertainment
in Texas, am I right? Hey!
Eight homes.
I bought one...
you lucky guys get to sell the rest.
Highland Glen.
Eight of the greatest homes
in L.A. County,
the state-of-the-art gated
community for the 21st century.
You're never gonna have such
a hot listing ever again.
Now...
breathe in.
Relax.
You can smell roses, not smog.
You're 40 minutes
from downtown L.A.
The sky is blue, not brown.
And the money is green!
Highland Glen! It's about decency.
It's about community.
It's about clean living
and American values.
So which one of
you guys is paying?
We all pay in the end, sweetheart.
Hey, little sister.
Star.
Hey, Cinderella.
We're on our way to the ball.
All right. All right.
Okay, now, folks. I want you to meet
the man who really built this place.
My site manager, Jack Coleman.
Jack here used to be a marshal.
And I tell you, he really laid
the law down around here.
And he got this job finished on time.
He did an amazing job. I mean it.
I couldn't have done it
without you, buddy.
Now why don't we get
him son up here.
What do you say? Jack!
Come on, Jack!
Come on up here!
Don't make me look bad.
Come on up here.
What do you say, huh?
For the marshal.
You should
know better.
Come on. Do it for me.
Don't make me look bad.
I'm gonna miss you.
Thanks.
Look out.
All right!
Now, get out of here!
Let's have some fun.
Come on!
What are you putting in there?
You're putting nothing
but candy in there.
There's a telephone.
Yeah, but it's got candy in it.
Bubble gum.
Candy.
Bubble gum.
Daddy...
why can't we go to
Yellowstone on the way home?
I wanna see Old Faithful.
Because it's covered with snow
and the bears will eat you.
I like snow.
Lilly let me play
in hers all day.
She's nice.
But Randall's kind of weird.
Yeah.
Okay. Well...
Here's Johnny.
His name's Nate.
Well, it's time for everyone
named Nate and Boot
to go to sleep.
Okay. Good night, Daddy.
Good night.
Give me some sugar.
Josh?
Hello?
Hello.
Jesus!
Shit. I'm sorry. My fault.
I didn't think nobody
was home, man.
I thought it was one of those
crank calls, you know.
Man, you scared my ass.
Sorry.
Look, this is a nice
neighbourhood, man.
I mean, this is as close as
you're gonna get to heaven
on earth.
You know what I'm saying?
What you got living in there?
What some sheiks or something?
Bill.
Right. That's gonna be $50.
I mean 15. Fifty is my next call.
I got it confused. Sorry about that.
Keep the change.
Oh, thanks, sir.
Here. Here.
You want me to carry it in for you?
No.
Oh, okay. Thanks.
Good night.
Merry Christmas!
Yeah, lookit here. Boy, I'll tell you,
why can't I live here?
Josh, pizza's here. Josh?
Josh! Put down that gun!
Do you wanna go and get yourself--?
Do you wanna get yourself killed?
Do you wanna get yourself killed?!
I'm sorry, little man.
It's just that if anything ever
happened to you and Boot I'd...
It ain't easy.
I know that.
She never came back.
Josh--
She said she was only going to town.
She said she'd be right back.
It was a car accident, Josh.
There was nothing
anybody could do.
And it wasn't fair.
I know you have every
right to be angry.
Angry at the world,
angry at everything.
But you know something, Josh?
That anger's gonna
hold you down.
You gotta move on.
We gotta move on.
We still got each other, Josh.
We could build on that.
But, you know...
a guy can never build
anything alone.
And I ain't worried.
Because I figure between
you and Boot, I got the best
crew a guy could ever have.
You ever gonna
be a marshal again?
I don't know, Josh.
I don't know.
For chrissake, Cougar,
what's taking him so long?
Butchie's been inside
a long time, Monk.
I say we just let him take his time.
What do you think?
A thousand points of light.
That's America.
Just a lot of fucking light bulbs.
Oh, fuck.
All right.
There ain't nothing
I can do, honey.
It happens.
Hey, it's them drugs, probably.
That stuff can eat you up.
You're not going back
out there, you hear me?
Down.
You want a hard-on?
Daddy! Daddy!
Dad, where are you?!
I'm here. Come on!
Daddy, help me!
Daddy, I'm scared!
Come on! Come on!
Daddy, I'm scared!
Daddy, I'm coming.
Come on.
It's over.
It's over. Are you all
all right?
Y'all all right? You all right?
I'm all right, Daddy.
Oh, God.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!
My God, it's a fucking earthquake!
That's great!
Jack!
Hey! Come here.
Randall, don't!
Look at this. What about me, Lilly?
I'm ruined!
Go. It's okay. Just go. Go, go.
Come here, honey.
I mean What are we doing
here, running a mission?
It's okay, sweetie.
You know, that was it, Lilly, huh?
That was the big one.
You know that?
I'm not ready for this shit.
I'm not fucking ready--
Randall, stop it.
You're scaring the kids.
Yeah, right.
It's okay.
Jesus fucking Christ!
No test. This is not a-- This--
It is. It is a test.
There's no radio. No TV.
No phones.
No cellular.
Settle back, Randall.
We got power.
We'll last the night.
Where are my peanuts? Shit. Shit!
Hey, Jack, did you steal the peanuts
out of my earthquake kit?
What?
Someone stole my peanuts.
The kids asleep?
On and off. Mostly off.
We get any TV yet?
No, there's nothing.
I'm gonna go check things out.
You be careful, huh?
We're gonna be all right.
Hey.
Baby.
Who's there?
Y'all all right? Who's there?
Come on, you bitch!
Hey!
Come on.
Hey!
Don't fuck with me, man!
All right.
Calm down.
You all right?
Hold on, now.
Cougar!
You better
check this out, man.
Home sweet home.
Randall. The kids.
Where are the kids at?
Randall!
You look like shit.
Boot! Josh!
Josh! Boot!
What's going on?
The kids? Where are the kids?
They're upstairs. What's going on?
Come on, we gotta get out of here!
We gotta get out of here fast.
Josh. Come on, get up. Get up.
Come on, Josh. Come on.
We gotta go. We gotta go.
Dad, what's going on?
Come on.
Daddy.
Get dressed.
Dad, what's going on?
Daddy.
Honey, please listen to Daddy.
All right? It's very important.
Now, come on, okay? Come on.
Come on, baby. Come on,
get your doggy. Come on. Let's go.
What's going on?
I'll explain later.
Where are you going, Jack?
My bag!
What?
My bag!
Where are you going?
Jack, what's happening?
Gotta move. We gotta move.
Where are we going?
Randall, we gotta go!
My doggy! My doggy!
Get the doggy later.
My doggy!
Lilly, get the kids in the car.
Randall, in the car.
Randall, get in the car.
Get in the car, kids.
Get in the car, Randall.
What are you doing?
Get in the car.
What's going on?
Some gang.
I had to shoot one of them.
You what?
Come on, kids. Get in the car.
Jack, why would you do that?
Randall, come on. There's no time.
Now, let's go.
Wait a minute.
Wait, I'm not leaving.
Get in.
Stop fucking around here!
I'm telling you,
these guys will kill us.
Randall!
Daddy!
God!
Don't you be a fool, Randall.
Stay back.
You're not taking my car, Jack.
Randall.
Randall, buddy, listen to me.
Okay? Listen to me, now.
We don't have time for this shit.
All right? You listening?
Now, you won't stand a chance
against these guys. I'm telling you.
You're out of it. Now, get in the car--
Fuck with me, huh?
I'm not leaving, Jack.
You wanna go, go!
Come on, macho man!
Ex-cop! Cowboy!
You don't even live
on this fucking block! That's right!
I'm taking care of my own!
Don't point that damn gun at my kids!
I am in control, all right? Okay?
Lilly, will you help me out?
Randall, put down the fucking gun!
God! Shit!
Come on. Josh, come on!
Lilly, you better come with us.
Randall, put that fucking thing away!
Come on!
Randall!
You're scaring me!
Baby, go in the house.
I'll take care of it.
All right? I'm okay. Come on.
Go ahead.
Go on.
Come on.
Josh.
Get down. Get down.
1422. 1422, call the station.
Bob.
Yeah, we got another one.
4910 Sepulveda.
Got another one. It's a silent alarm.
Oh, honey, get in line.
Looking for something?
Come on, Randall, get out of there.
I don't think you're
gonna be able to fix this.
Hey, listen. Maybe...
we can make a deal, huh?
I can't believe you just said that.
You know, people like you
always think that people like me
are looking for something.
No.
Yes.
You're right.
I say:
"Don't look, and ye shall find."
Like Buddha.
Couldn't I be just some
guy who came up here
to just see how you were doing?
Real mess out there,
or haven't you heard?
Real fucked up.
Okay, samurai.
I'll make you a deal.
First one to the gun.
Come on, man.
You want a deal, you got it.
One...
two...
Yeah, I'm looking for something.
I'm looking for the fuck
that killed my friend.
I got money.
Yeah!
Oh, my God!
Was that a gun?
Shh!
Are we in trouble, Daddy?
Yeah, honey, we're in trouble.
VJ, Ho, Botero,
check this place out.
Get your toys, honey.
What's going on?
What are we gonna do, Daddy?
Where we going, Dad?
They can't know we're here.
What's going on, Daddy?
Come on. Go through there.
Go on. Go on, now.
Down.
Stay quiet.
Come on.
Stay down. Stay down.
Code. What's the code?
Rudolph and the reindeer.
Dasher.
That's the only one I know. Damn.
Okay, kids.
You gotta help me out here.
You remember Santa and his
reindeers? What are their names?
Prancer.
Prancer. That's right.
Another one.
Vixen!
Comet.
Cupid.
Cupid.
Come on.
What, honey? Come on.
Blitzen!
Blitzen! Blitzen.
Get your things.
Josh, here.
Okay.
Grab his legs.
Come on, come on.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Coug...
snow cone.
What is that, a jet?
She's getting away!
Get her.
Get her! Get her!
Hey, Coug.
Come on!
Hey!
Hey, where you going?
Hey, wait.
We're not that bad
once you get to know us.
We just wanna talk.
Shit!
Hey, come on!
Hi.
What are you, a little...
Angeleno commuter...
gal?
I'm sure you can get some
traffic school for that one.
Never fuck...
with the master.
Unit 20...
We'll have someone there soon.
I've gotten another silent alarm
from Highland Glen.
I see it. I see it.
It's a different house.
Well, I didn't think--
Is there even anybody
living up there yet?
What've you got in Sector 7?
Not much. Roads are down.
I can send a search-and-rescue
in there, maybe.
Well, do that. In the meantime,
reset the system.
Quake probably screwed it up.
Yeah, just hang on.
Damn it.
I'm going to have to leave
you in here for a little bit.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna get Lilly.
Don't go, Daddy. Don't go.
I'm coming back, honey.
I'm coming back.
You promise, right? You promise?
I promise, Josh. No matter what.
I'm gonna find a way
out of here for all of us.
I need you to believe in me, Josh.
No one can find you in here
except me. You'll be safe in here.
Okay? I'll come back
as soon as I can.
I love y'all.
All right, now. Don't shoot.
I can-- I can help you.
You fuck! I know you.
Come on. Let's go. Go! Come on.
Shut up!
What do y'all want? Money?
Get to the window, motherfucker!
All right.
Come on.
We are gonna take a meeting.
This is Unit 5-0.
We're at the bottleneck
up here on Mulholland.
We're going mobile. Over.
All available radio units calling in...
It's the kind of place where
you might see Zsa Zsa borrowing
a cup of sugar from Merv.
It's sumptuous, yet real.
It's a place I would love
to bring you, honey.
Look at all this shit.
All right, everybody! All right,
everybody! I want you to make a list!
Anything we don't want, we donate
to the National Council for the Blind.
Anyone else live up here?
No.
What about the pickup truck?
It's just this guy's
who worked for Randall.
Came up here to fix some
things after the party.
I don't even know his name.
Cougar!
We got a visitor.
Cougar! Cougar!
Move!
Well, if it isn't the Lone Ranger.
You just keep popping up
everywhere, don't you?
I want the girl.
The girl for your
friend right here.
Who, that fuck-up?
Come on. I got nine more.
You wanna play it like this?
We all lose.
Who are you? A Cub Scout
who forgot to take his Prozac?
Let's stop this shit right here.
I'm talking about a clean deal.
God called off all deals tonight.
Well, the night's
not gonna last forever.
Now, the law may be late,
but I'm telling y'all,
that the law is coming down.
The law?
That's funny. You killed my friend.
Your friend gave me no choice.
Fuck choice. You made a bad one.
Come on, Coug.
Would you shut the fuck up!
I ought to shoot you myself!
You gonna let him do that? You!
You gonna let him
waste your friend right here?
You really wanna do that?
Take it easy, Coug. Come on.
Ho, he's blood.
Why don't you give him the girl, Coug.
Finders keepers!
Put down your weapons!
This is Centaur Security.
You are surrounded.
You heard that. Put them down.
You there!
Put down your weapon!
You're making a mistake.
Lower your weapon.
Let go of the hostage
and raise your hands now.
You don't understand!
Just call for backup!
This is your last warning.
Put down your weapon.
Pull up here, see what you got!
Don't be a damn fool.
Fools!
I dare you.
Get him, Skin!
I got that fucker, man!
We got them all!
Jesus, Coug. I think we
should get out of here.
Yeah, what about
the cowboy, man?
Let's stay here a while.
What, you don't get it?
They couldn't even send real cops.
You see those guys?
They're all out there trying
to figure which way's up.
Got these fuckers by their golden
balls. Rules have changed tonight.
Tonight we sack the temple!
Romans, man.
Fuck Romans. We're gods!
This guy's too good, Coug.
He'll be back.
Come on, baby!
The more, the merrier.
Who is it?
Shh!
Where's Daddy?
I want my daddy.
No, no, no. Those some
nasty motherfuckers over there,
and you don't wanna
disturb them, all right?
You see, people in L.A., they
don't know whether to piss or pray.
I think you understand
that, don't you?
You bet.
Okay.
Come on. Hey.
We gonna ease back here
into these bushes.
I don't wanna get
our asses shot up
like those Boy Scouts
on them bikes.
You got that?
Mm-hmm.
I been watching you. Yeah.
You know your way
around this place pretty good.
I come up here looking
for some easy pickings
and run right into your ass.
You guys still deliver?
Yeah, we deliver.
But I'm not delivering, all right?
I gotta get out of here,
and you gonna be my help.
Me and you, we gonna be
partners. You understand that?
So come on over here--
Partners, huh?
It's kind of an alternative thing.
Hello and welcome to the
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous...
and the Suddenly Fucked.
Come and see all of the goodies
in this emotional Los Angeles home.
Say cheese.
This place was an absolute mess
until we liberated it from the staff.
You know of a good chef? He's a little
too much of a red-meat man.
No peeking at the presents.
Where's your mommy?
Leavenworth.
And here, of course, we have the
magnificent master-bedroom suite!
And upstairs we have
our lovely hostess.
With, of course, her own
personal trainer, Willie D.
Now, Gypsy isn't very famous yet,
although she might be later tonight.
They always come back
for Gypsy, don't they?
Honey, you're gonna have
to lay off those weights.
What do you fucking want?
Everything. Everything. Everything.
Coug, check this out.
Hey, Vinnie. Merry Christmas.
Hey man. Man, you can't
make me do this. What is
this shit anyway?
Utility tunnels. They access
every house on the block.
Man, there's earthquakes
going on. This shit ain't safe--
Hey! Relax.
It'll be okay.
It'll hold. I built it.
You built it? Well, you sure
do handle a piece pretty
damn good for a builder.
Yeah, I guess that comes
from wearing a badge
for 10 years.
Oh, shit!
I am gonna be rich!
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
You listen to me, you punk!
Now You were up there
doing a little window-shopping.
But you picked the
wrong fucking block.
Now, that's your bad luck.
But that ain't my problem!
Well, there ain't no choice when shit
comes down. So you're fucked too.
Now the only choice you got
right now is how you act.
Just because I'm wearing this
fucking uniform doesn't mean
I'm a goddamn superhero. All right?
I have two kids
and a woman up there.
And I'm not gonna
let them down.
Look, man, you ain't got a hope.
Well, maybe that's my bad luck,
but they need your help.
I need your help.
So you consider
yourself drafted.
Look, man, just
don't be calling me
none of that "deputy" bullshit,
all right?
Down by that control panel
is a tool chest.
I need a flashlight
and some duct tape.
It's Dad.
But how do we know it's him?
I know. I know.
Johnny?
It's him! It's him!
He always gets it wrong.
Are you coming...
back?
You bet.
Walk, pizza boy.
Nice and easy.
You want a piece of me, huh?
You want a piece of
me, motherfucker?
Uh-uh.
It's simple. Either you
keep walking, or you die.
Either way, you lose.
Now, let's walk...
boy.
Ever heard of this gang
called the Southside 49 Crips?
Yeah. I wipe my ass
with those motherfuckers.
Drop it.
Go on. Drop it.
Who's walking now, boy?
Go on, now.
Just drop it.
Get the gun, Jack!
Bitch!
Shit.
Here.
Raise your right hand.
What?
Your hand. Put it up.
Buddy...
you are deputised.
Boy, must have hurt
to lay this egg, huh?
What do you think?
This is very good.
Except where is the nest?
Your boyfriend said
that there was money.
We found the access panel.
We need you to tell us the code.
Now...
would you do that
for me? The code.
Would you do that for me?
Rudolph.
You're kidding. Reindeer?
Now, Santa's helper wouldn't
lie to me, would she?
Yo, man, this shit
is all coming clear to me.
This game is like do-or-die.
If you hesitate,
Jack, you lost, man.
See that motherfucker right there?
That was a big motherfucker.
I took him down!
Take some deep breaths.
I'm counting on you.
Right.
Man, fuck breathing now, man.
Come on, man.
I'm on a mission.
Let's do this shit. Yeah.
That's cool. That's cool.
So can I get this gun or that gun?
I like this mother--
This.
A watch? What the hell
am I gonna do with
a watch, Jack?
His ass tried to kill me.
This not gonna do shit!
Stay put.
You mean to tell me,
you're gonna go up there
and battle them nine
motherfuckers by yourself?
Seven.
Come on over here.
You see this lever?
This controls all the power.
All these pipes over here...
they go up to the street.
When you hear me rap...
pull that lever. Give me four
minutes of blackout, no more.
Four minutes? What your ass
gonna do in four minutes?
Anything more than four minutes,
and my kids will be out of air.
These vents, they need power.
Oh, wait, wait.
You going up there alone,
if something happen to you,
what I supposed to do?
Then you get my kids
and you take them off this block.
I'm counting on you.
I'm pretty sure you're
gonna manage.
Hey.
Just don't forget
how short four minutes is.
That shit ain't long.
These people think
they're living in a
fucking amusement park.
I can't find Botero, man.
He's fucking vanished.
Get everyone inside.
You've lied to me.
Kids!
Who's got kids up here?
Son of a bitch.
Holy shit.
It's Mister Ed.
Hey, come here.
Hey, come here. Shh!
Come on.
Come on, boy.
Check it out.
You know, a white horse
is good medicine, man.
Bye, horse.
This is-- This is funky.
Vinnie, cover the back.
Hey, fucker.
Come on.
Jack, Jack.
Spread out and find him.
Coug?
Damn.
Come on, Jack.
I know you're
gonna do it, baby.
I know you're gonna do it.
Where the fuck is everybody?
What the fuck is going on?
Oh, it's all about
some fucking bitch, huh?
All right. All right.
Get the fuck off me!
You ready?
Jack, come on. Jack.
Come on, Jack. I know you're gonna
do it. I know you're gonna do it.
This way, this way.
Here, take this.
Trust me.
Fuck.
I think it's like "Xanydu."
Jesus, man.
What the hell happened to Vinnie?
He shot him.
Fuck.
This is out of control.
Fuck control.
The party's over, Coug.
Let's just go. Let's just
get the fuck out of here, man.
Nobody's leaving this block.
Control?
Do you seriously think
that this place was
built with control?
I am gonna be rich!
Look at this place.
It's like a fucking disease!
Fuck them.
Tonight was our night!
Out of fucking control!
And he wanted to mess with it!
That fucking cowboy!
Let me tell you something.
No one's gonna
take this away from us.
Nobody is going to take
that away from me.
Do you hear me? Do you hear me?
Nobody's gonna do that!
Don't make me look bad.
Come on up here.
What do you say, huh?
For the marshal?
He did an amazing job.
This guy's a cop.
He's a fucking cop!
Time is up, man. Let's just go.
Let's just get out of here!
Hi, I'm Boot. This is Josh.
Our dad built this whole place.
Kids.
These are his fucking kids.
Where are your kids, mister? Hmm?
Stay down.
It's gonna be all right, Lilly.
We gonna be all right.
Jack! You're still in business.
Let's move.
Where do you keep
your family jewels?
I wanna get out of here!
No! No, we have to wait here.
Let's get out of here, Jack!
It's Dad!
You're such a clever little
mouse. You know all the holes.
"We're coming back."
"We're coming back."
We're gonna burn
in hell for this.
What comes after Dancer?
Prancer.
"You guys okay?"
Yes.
Yes!
Can you hear me?
Five-0 unit, nothing?
What is it?
I don't understand this.
There's something wrong here.
Dancer, Prancer...
Donner.
No. No, it's not Donner.
It's Donder.
I smell gas!
Something's going on
out there. Look at this.
The whole place is lit up.
She's right, sir.
D-O-N-D--
Are you sure about this?
Eight houses.
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight reindeer!
Get L.A.P.D. Report a code red.
Let's have some candy.
Okay. I guess you're
pretty sure of that.
I do everything myself!
What does that mean?
He's going for the safe rooms.
Oh, my God.
He's gonna get the kids.
Where's the candy?
Daddy.
Yes, yes.
Shh!
Move!
Come on!
Come on, Jack!
Come on!
The houses, they're gonna blow.
Come on!
Ho, ho, ho.
This is the L.A.P.D. Repeat--
What comes after Dasher?
Yeah, Blitzen.
This is the L.A.P.D.
When the cat's away...
the mice will play.
Run!
This is the L.A.P.D.,
chopper unit 3009.
Repeat. This is the L.A.P.D.
Cease and desist.
Repeat. This is the L.A.P.D.
Come on.
Hi, kids!
No, no. No!
Let go of me!
Let go! Let go!
Come on, get in.
We crashed
the wrong fucking party, babe.
No!
Oh, my God.
Daddy!
Kids.
Dad!
Daddy!
Oh, come here.
Come on, Jack! Come on!
Come on, get in the car.
Get in, come on.
Get down! Down!
Weathers, let me get the gun.
What?
Go on! Take the kids and run!
Go on!
Come on. Come on.
Dad! Dad!
The gun, it's in the suitcase!
Josh! Come on.
Come on!
You should have killed me.
You don't hit a guy when
he's down, is that it, cowboy?
What a night.
I don't remember this morning.
Except that I killed some cops.
I'm gonna kill you too.
So I can remember how that felt.
You know the deal.
Let's see how fast you are.
One...
two...
You got a loser's way about you.
three.
You missed.
How does it feel to be a
little slower than the other guy?
Shoot me.
Finish it.
Do it!
Night's over.
All is down,
and I am taking you in.
Now, let's move.
Let's go!
Two units at Third and Western.
You okay?
Yeah.
Step forward!
Dad!
Daddy!
You got anything special
planned for next week?
Well, Chuck, I'm fixing to
head out of L.A. for a few days.
If that's possible, the way
the freeways are right now.
Well, anyhow,
I'm fixing to head out...
Horses seem a little wound up today.
Well...
The damn water, most likely.
Gus, how many times
we been through this?
Hell, I just help build them.
I don't like them either.
But they didn't screw
up your water.
Well...
I guess this is the last
I'm gonna hear of it, though.
We're fixing to head
home tomorrow.
Oh.
Well, it figures.
Most everybody's leaving L.A.
You tell that big-shot
friend of yours,
just because he sent me
an invite to his party
that don't make him a neighbour.
Hey, y'all quit!
Hey, come on, I said, quit!
She started it.
He said my fancy dress
made me look like a butt
end of a bull.
Josh, did you say that?
I don't know what
I'm gonna do with you kids.
We're fixing to drive back home.
Y'all better shape up.
Go on, apologise.
You ain't that bad.
I've heard better.
You're gonna be the pride
of the party.
Now you say it.
Honey, you already
know what I think.
Hot diggity dog.
Did you feel that one, folks?
Don't even ask me what that
one was on the Richter scale
because I just don't care anymore.
They're all bad.
Yep, Caltech says that
makes it 10,000 aftershocks
since the Northridge nasty.
There ought to be some sort of reward
for going through that many shakes.
But I guess that reward is just
living here in sunny California.
So settle back in the saddle,
folks, and enjoy the ride.
Please. Please.
I got a family.
Oh!
I got a rhyme.
This little piggy went to prison.
And these little piggies stayed home.
Please.
So...
this little piggy...
Excuse me!
Mr. Nelson!
That's bullshit.
No, I'm telling you,
it's bullshit!
I'm paying for security, all right?
Mr. Nelson?
Randall?
Have you seen Jack Coleman?
He's out on the Chisholm Trail.
What the fuck do I know, all right?
I thought you were planning
on being a human being today.
I was. Okay,
I'll call you back.
Jose, not the Impala,
el Mustang.
This makes me look
like a gang member, okay?
Hey, guys!
Hey, have any of you guys
seen the site manager?
Who?
Jack Coleman.
I haven't seen him all day.
Nowhere?
Sorry, man.
Mr. Coleman!
Mr. Coleman!
How you doing, Bobby?
Not too good, sir.
Hi, Bobby.
Come on, kids.
Hi, kids.
You got that look in your eyes.
You know, I punched
out at noon today.
I know, sir, but
this is a problem.
I mean, this is heavy.
Heavy.
Kids, go on and get washed up.
I'm sorry.
Mm-hmm.
Go on now.
Give it back, Josh!
Josh, give it back.
Give it back.
Josh!
Hey, Bobby.
Hey, Gus.
Hi, Jack.
You all right?
You gotta take a look
at these regulators.
Everything was
fine this morning.
Then the aftershock hit.
And with you leaving and all,
I don't know what we should do.
Just don't tell anyone.
Really?
I mean, okay, but...
My lips are sealed.
Bobby, you're just
dumber than dirt.
Jack, arrest that man.
Go back, Gus.
Yeah, fuck you, Gus.
Damn.
Those gas regulators,
it's a serious problem.
You know, Jack, I just can't
believe that you wanna go now.
Randall, don't start.
"Don't start." Jack,
did you see this?
Did you see this?
What?
Centaur's safe-room codes
for all the houses on the block.
Now, these are fucking ex-cops.
What do they program?
Rudolph and Santa's
fucking reindeer.
Listen, Randall, sooner or later
those regulators are gonna blow.
Yeah, yeah.
Come here. Look.
Now...
they said it's user-friendly.
It works.
Mm-hmm.
The regulators,
it's a serious problem.
You know where
I'm at, don't you?
You, you're gonna be
out, what, under the stars,
roasting hot dogs
and all that happy shit.
Me, I gotta unload
these fucking houses.
You...
You're walking out on me.
My job here's finished, Randall.
And I ain't walking.
I'm running.
Yeah. Well...
fuck you too.
You will order those
regulators now, right?
Okay, you know,
will you look at that?
I mean, that shit's gotta last
through the party.
You think I got enough?
Three strikes, and you're out.
Come here, Butchie.
Let me deputise you.
--Los Angeles County...
I hereby declare you a Johnny Law.
What they done
to you inside, Butchie, huh?
Zapped your strength?
Come on, Butch.
Come on, Butch.
Come on, Coug.
Police
are still searching for clues
in the brutal, double homicide
of two sheriff's deputies
earlier today.
The deputies were transporting
Benjamin Jones
to L.A.'s maximum-security
prison near Santa Clarita.
Jones had recently been
sentenced to life without parole
under California's strict
new three-strikes
and you're out provision,
for his part in a series of brutal home
invasions that have terrorised L.A.
Jones is missing and considered
armed and extremely dangerous.
You got mentioned on the radio,
Butchie. That's fucking cool.
You're a fucking stud!
Now you're gonna be
a fucking king, my friend.
Leave him alone, man.
We gotta get this guy a woman.
It's party time.
Hi.
I think it's like "Xanydu."
Good.
Highland Glen, I am loving it.
And, Randall, I am loving you.
Ho, ho, ho!
I am gonna be rich.
It's the kind of place where you
might see Zsa Zsa borrowing
a cup of sugar from Merv.
It's sumptuous, yet real.
Tell me you love me, baby.
The place I would love to bring you.
Say hi to Randall.
I'm Boot. This is Josh.
Our dad built this whole place,
and he says we're gonna--
Randall, another party video?
Would you look at me in person,
not through the camera?
Hey! Hey, kids. Hey, Jack.
A wasted Santa. What a gyp.
Josh.
Hey, look what I got for you guys.
Awesome.
Josh, why don't you take
Boot near the bandstand
and fill up on some
stocking stuffers, okay.
We got teddy bears
and candy canes
and stick-on tattoos.
All right? You have fun.
Go on.
Anything you want.
Damn, I wish I had your touch.
It's called bribery.
Well, you should think about
getting some of your own.
What, stocking stuffers?
Kids.
Oh, please. You know
Randall and I have agreed
to an alternative relationship.
"Alternative."
You two are living
together, aren't you?
So, what do you guys do
down there in Texas, anyhow?
Well, you know, chew tobacco,
spit, whup each other's ass
at cowboy poetry.
We're gonna miss you, Jack.
It's time.
It's been 16 months now
since the kids' mom passed away.
It's time to go back home.
And it's Christmas.
They're excited.
I hear you guys are camping out
at the Colonial tonight.
Yeah, we're out
of the apartment, so...
Are you looking forward to it?
Camping out?
No. Going home.
Hey, come here. I want you
to meet some people.
Come on.
Now, you can't get this entertainment
in Texas, am I right? Hey!
Eight homes.
I bought one...
you lucky guys get to sell the rest.
Highland Glen.
Eight of the greatest homes
in L.A. County,
the state-of-the-art gated
community for the 21st century.
You're never gonna have such
a hot listing ever again.
Now...
breathe in.
Relax.
You can smell roses, not smog.
You're 40 minutes
from downtown L.A.
The sky is blue, not brown.
And the money is green!
Highland Glen! It's about decency.
It's about community.
It's about clean living
and American values.
So which one of
you guys is paying?
We all pay in the end, sweetheart.
Hey, little sister.
Star.
Hey, Cinderella.
We're on our way to the ball.
All right. All right.
Okay, now, folks. I want you to meet
the man who really built this place.
My site manager, Jack Coleman.
Jack here used to be a marshal.
And I tell you, he really laid
the law down around here.
And he got this job finished on time.
He did an amazing job. I mean it.
I couldn't have done it
without you, buddy.
Now why don't we get
him son up here.
What do you say? Jack!
Come on, Jack!
Come on up here!
Don't make me look bad.
Come on up here.
What do you say, huh?
For the marshal.
You should
know better.
Come on. Do it for me.
Don't make me look bad.
I'm gonna miss you.
Thanks.
Look out.
All right!
Now, get out of here!
Let's have some fun.
Come on!
What are you putting in there?
You're putting nothing
but candy in there.
There's a telephone.
Yeah, but it's got candy in it.
Bubble gum.
Candy.
Bubble gum.
Daddy...
why can't we go to
Yellowstone on the way home?
I wanna see Old Faithful.
Because it's covered with snow
and the bears will eat you.
I like snow.
Lilly let me play
in hers all day.
She's nice.
But Randall's kind of weird.
Yeah.
Okay. Well...
Here's Johnny.
His name's Nate.
Well, it's time for everyone
named Nate and Boot
to go to sleep.
Okay. Good night, Daddy.
Good night.
Give me some sugar.
Josh?
Hello?
Hello.
Jesus!
Shit. I'm sorry. My fault.
I didn't think nobody
was home, man.
I thought it was one of those
crank calls, you know.
Man, you scared my ass.
Sorry.
Look, this is a nice
neighbourhood, man.
I mean, this is as close as
you're gonna get to heaven
on earth.
You know what I'm saying?
What you got living in there?
What some sheiks or something?
Bill.
Right. That's gonna be $50.
I mean 15. Fifty is my next call.
I got it confused. Sorry about that.
Keep the change.
Oh, thanks, sir.
Here. Here.
You want me to carry it in for you?
No.
Oh, okay. Thanks.
Good night.
Merry Christmas!
Yeah, lookit here. Boy, I'll tell you,
why can't I live here?
Josh, pizza's here. Josh?
Josh! Put down that gun!
Do you wanna go and get yourself--?
Do you wanna get yourself killed?
Do you wanna get yourself killed?!
I'm sorry, little man.
It's just that if anything ever
happened to you and Boot I'd...
It ain't easy.
I know that.
She never came back.
Josh--
She said she was only going to town.
She said she'd be right back.
It was a car accident, Josh.
There was nothing
anybody could do.
And it wasn't fair.
I know you have every
right to be angry.
Angry at the world,
angry at everything.
But you know something, Josh?
That anger's gonna
hold you down.
You gotta move on.
We gotta move on.
We still got each other, Josh.
We could build on that.
But, you know...
a guy can never build
anything alone.
And I ain't worried.
Because I figure between
you and Boot, I got the best
crew a guy could ever have.
You ever gonna
be a marshal again?
I don't know, Josh.
I don't know.
For chrissake, Cougar,
what's taking him so long?
Butchie's been inside
a long time, Monk.
I say we just let him take his time.
What do you think?
A thousand points of light.
That's America.
Just a lot of fucking light bulbs.
Oh, fuck.
All right.
There ain't nothing
I can do, honey.
It happens.
Hey, it's them drugs, probably.
That stuff can eat you up.
You're not going back
out there, you hear me?
Down.
You want a hard-on?
Daddy! Daddy!
Dad, where are you?!
I'm here. Come on!
Daddy, help me!
Daddy, I'm scared!
Come on! Come on!
Daddy, I'm scared!
Daddy, I'm coming.
Come on.
It's over.
It's over. Are you all
all right?
Y'all all right? You all right?
I'm all right, Daddy.
Oh, God.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!
My God, it's a fucking earthquake!
That's great!
Jack!
Hey! Come here.
Randall, don't!
Look at this. What about me, Lilly?
I'm ruined!
Go. It's okay. Just go. Go, go.
Come here, honey.
I mean What are we doing
here, running a mission?
It's okay, sweetie.
You know, that was it, Lilly, huh?
That was the big one.
You know that?
I'm not ready for this shit.
I'm not fucking ready--
Randall, stop it.
You're scaring the kids.
Yeah, right.
It's okay.
Jesus fucking Christ!
No test. This is not a-- This--
It is. It is a test.
There's no radio. No TV.
No phones.
No cellular.
Settle back, Randall.
We got power.
We'll last the night.
Where are my peanuts? Shit. Shit!
Hey, Jack, did you steal the peanuts
out of my earthquake kit?
What?
Someone stole my peanuts.
The kids asleep?
On and off. Mostly off.
We get any TV yet?
No, there's nothing.
I'm gonna go check things out.
You be careful, huh?
We're gonna be all right.
Hey.
Baby.
Who's there?
Y'all all right? Who's there?
Come on, you bitch!
Hey!
Come on.
Hey!
Don't fuck with me, man!
All right.
Calm down.
You all right?
Hold on, now.
Cougar!
You better
check this out, man.
Home sweet home.
Randall. The kids.
Where are the kids at?
Randall!
You look like shit.
Boot! Josh!
Josh! Boot!
What's going on?
The kids? Where are the kids?
They're upstairs. What's going on?
Come on, we gotta get out of here!
We gotta get out of here fast.
Josh. Come on, get up. Get up.
Come on, Josh. Come on.
We gotta go. We gotta go.
Dad, what's going on?
Come on.
Daddy.
Get dressed.
Dad, what's going on?
Daddy.
Honey, please listen to Daddy.
All right? It's very important.
Now, come on, okay? Come on.
Come on, baby. Come on,
get your doggy. Come on. Let's go.
What's going on?
I'll explain later.
Where are you going, Jack?
My bag!
What?
My bag!
Where are you going?
Jack, what's happening?
Gotta move. We gotta move.
Where are we going?
Randall, we gotta go!
My doggy! My doggy!
Get the doggy later.
My doggy!
Lilly, get the kids in the car.
Randall, in the car.
Randall, get in the car.
Get in the car, kids.
Get in the car, Randall.
What are you doing?
Get in the car.
What's going on?
Some gang.
I had to shoot one of them.
You what?
Come on, kids. Get in the car.
Jack, why would you do that?
Randall, come on. There's no time.
Now, let's go.
Wait a minute.
Wait, I'm not leaving.
Get in.
Stop fucking around here!
I'm telling you,
these guys will kill us.
Randall!
Daddy!
God!
Don't you be a fool, Randall.
Stay back.
You're not taking my car, Jack.
Randall.
Randall, buddy, listen to me.
Okay? Listen to me, now.
We don't have time for this shit.
All right? You listening?
Now, you won't stand a chance
against these guys. I'm telling you.
You're out of it. Now, get in the car--
Fuck with me, huh?
I'm not leaving, Jack.
You wanna go, go!
Come on, macho man!
Ex-cop! Cowboy!
You don't even live
on this fucking block! That's right!
I'm taking care of my own!
Don't point that damn gun at my kids!
I am in control, all right? Okay?
Lilly, will you help me out?
Randall, put down the fucking gun!
God! Shit!
Come on. Josh, come on!
Lilly, you better come with us.
Randall, put that fucking thing away!
Come on!
Randall!
You're scaring me!
Baby, go in the house.
I'll take care of it.
All right? I'm okay. Come on.
Go ahead.
Go on.
Come on.
Josh.
Get down. Get down.
1422. 1422, call the station.
Bob.
Yeah, we got another one.
4910 Sepulveda.
Got another one. It's a silent alarm.
Oh, honey, get in line.
Looking for something?
Come on, Randall, get out of there.
I don't think you're
gonna be able to fix this.
Hey, listen. Maybe...
we can make a deal, huh?
I can't believe you just said that.
You know, people like you
always think that people like me
are looking for something.
No.
Yes.
You're right.
I say:
"Don't look, and ye shall find."
Like Buddha.
Couldn't I be just some
guy who came up here
to just see how you were doing?
Real mess out there,
or haven't you heard?
Real fucked up.
Okay, samurai.
I'll make you a deal.
First one to the gun.
Come on, man.
You want a deal, you got it.
One...
two...
Yeah, I'm looking for something.
I'm looking for the fuck
that killed my friend.
I got money.
Yeah!
Oh, my God!
Was that a gun?
Shh!
Are we in trouble, Daddy?
Yeah, honey, we're in trouble.
VJ, Ho, Botero,
check this place out.
Get your toys, honey.
What's going on?
What are we gonna do, Daddy?
Where we going, Dad?
They can't know we're here.
What's going on, Daddy?
Come on. Go through there.
Go on. Go on, now.
Down.
Stay quiet.
Come on.
Stay down. Stay down.
Code. What's the code?
Rudolph and the reindeer.
Dasher.
That's the only one I know. Damn.
Okay, kids.
You gotta help me out here.
You remember Santa and his
reindeers? What are their names?
Prancer.
Prancer. That's right.
Another one.
Vixen!
Comet.
Cupid.
Cupid.
Come on.
What, honey? Come on.
Blitzen!
Blitzen! Blitzen.
Get your things.
Josh, here.
Okay.
Grab his legs.
Come on, come on.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Coug...
snow cone.
What is that, a jet?
She's getting away!
Get her.
Get her! Get her!
Hey, Coug.
Come on!
Hey!
Hey, where you going?
Hey, wait.
We're not that bad
once you get to know us.
We just wanna talk.
Shit!
Hey, come on!
Hi.
What are you, a little...
Angeleno commuter...
gal?
I'm sure you can get some
traffic school for that one.
Never fuck...
with the master.
Unit 20...
We'll have someone there soon.
I've gotten another silent alarm
from Highland Glen.
I see it. I see it.
It's a different house.
Well, I didn't think--
Is there even anybody
living up there yet?
What've you got in Sector 7?
Not much. Roads are down.
I can send a search-and-rescue
in there, maybe.
Well, do that. In the meantime,
reset the system.
Quake probably screwed it up.
Yeah, just hang on.
Damn it.
I'm going to have to leave
you in here for a little bit.
Where are you going?
I'm gonna get Lilly.
Don't go, Daddy. Don't go.
I'm coming back, honey.
I'm coming back.
You promise, right? You promise?
I promise, Josh. No matter what.
I'm gonna find a way
out of here for all of us.
I need you to believe in me, Josh.
No one can find you in here
except me. You'll be safe in here.
Okay? I'll come back
as soon as I can.
I love y'all.
All right, now. Don't shoot.
I can-- I can help you.
You fuck! I know you.
Come on. Let's go. Go! Come on.
Shut up!
What do y'all want? Money?
Get to the window, motherfucker!
All right.
Come on.
We are gonna take a meeting.
This is Unit 5-0.
We're at the bottleneck
up here on Mulholland.
We're going mobile. Over.
All available radio units calling in...
It's the kind of place where
you might see Zsa Zsa borrowing
a cup of sugar from Merv.
It's sumptuous, yet real.
It's a place I would love
to bring you, honey.
Look at all this shit.
All right, everybody! All right,
everybody! I want you to make a list!
Anything we don't want, we donate
to the National Council for the Blind.
Anyone else live up here?
No.
What about the pickup truck?
It's just this guy's
who worked for Randall.
Came up here to fix some
things after the party.
I don't even know his name.
Cougar!
We got a visitor.
Cougar! Cougar!
Move!
Well, if it isn't the Lone Ranger.
You just keep popping up
everywhere, don't you?
I want the girl.
The girl for your
friend right here.
Who, that fuck-up?
Come on. I got nine more.
You wanna play it like this?
We all lose.
Who are you? A Cub Scout
who forgot to take his Prozac?
Let's stop this shit right here.
I'm talking about a clean deal.
God called off all deals tonight.
Well, the night's
not gonna last forever.
Now, the law may be late,
but I'm telling y'all,
that the law is coming down.
The law?
That's funny. You killed my friend.
Your friend gave me no choice.
Fuck choice. You made a bad one.
Come on, Coug.
Would you shut the fuck up!
I ought to shoot you myself!
You gonna let him do that? You!
You gonna let him
waste your friend right here?
You really wanna do that?
Take it easy, Coug. Come on.
Ho, he's blood.
Why don't you give him the girl, Coug.
Finders keepers!
Put down your weapons!
This is Centaur Security.
You are surrounded.
You heard that. Put them down.
You there!
Put down your weapon!
You're making a mistake.
Lower your weapon.
Let go of the hostage
and raise your hands now.
You don't understand!
Just call for backup!
This is your last warning.
Put down your weapon.
Pull up here, see what you got!
Don't be a damn fool.
Fools!
I dare you.
Get him, Skin!
I got that fucker, man!
We got them all!
Jesus, Coug. I think we
should get out of here.
Yeah, what about
the cowboy, man?
Let's stay here a while.
What, you don't get it?
They couldn't even send real cops.
You see those guys?
They're all out there trying
to figure which way's up.
Got these fuckers by their golden
balls. Rules have changed tonight.
Tonight we sack the temple!
Romans, man.
Fuck Romans. We're gods!
This guy's too good, Coug.
He'll be back.
Come on, baby!
The more, the merrier.
Who is it?
Shh!
Where's Daddy?
I want my daddy.
No, no, no. Those some
nasty motherfuckers over there,
and you don't wanna
disturb them, all right?
You see, people in L.A., they
don't know whether to piss or pray.
I think you understand
that, don't you?
You bet.
Okay.
Come on. Hey.
We gonna ease back here
into these bushes.
I don't wanna get
our asses shot up
like those Boy Scouts
on them bikes.
You got that?
Mm-hmm.
I been watching you. Yeah.
You know your way
around this place pretty good.
I come up here looking
for some easy pickings
and run right into your ass.
You guys still deliver?
Yeah, we deliver.
But I'm not delivering, all right?
I gotta get out of here,
and you gonna be my help.
Me and you, we gonna be
partners. You understand that?
So come on over here--
Partners, huh?
It's kind of an alternative thing.
Hello and welcome to the
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous...
and the Suddenly Fucked.
Come and see all of the goodies
in this emotional Los Angeles home.
Say cheese.
This place was an absolute mess
until we liberated it from the staff.
You know of a good chef? He's a little
too much of a red-meat man.
No peeking at the presents.
Where's your mommy?
Leavenworth.
And here, of course, we have the
magnificent master-bedroom suite!
And upstairs we have
our lovely hostess.
With, of course, her own
personal trainer, Willie D.
Now, Gypsy isn't very famous yet,
although she might be later tonight.
They always come back
for Gypsy, don't they?
Honey, you're gonna have
to lay off those weights.
What do you fucking want?
Everything. Everything. Everything.
Coug, check this out.
Hey, Vinnie. Merry Christmas.
Hey man. Man, you can't
make me do this. What is
this shit anyway?
Utility tunnels. They access
every house on the block.
Man, there's earthquakes
going on. This shit ain't safe--
Hey! Relax.
It'll be okay.
It'll hold. I built it.
You built it? Well, you sure
do handle a piece pretty
damn good for a builder.
Yeah, I guess that comes
from wearing a badge
for 10 years.
Oh, shit!
I am gonna be rich!
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
You listen to me, you punk!
Now You were up there
doing a little window-shopping.
But you picked the
wrong fucking block.
Now, that's your bad luck.
But that ain't my problem!
Well, there ain't no choice when shit
comes down. So you're fucked too.
Now the only choice you got
right now is how you act.
Just because I'm wearing this
fucking uniform doesn't mean
I'm a goddamn superhero. All right?
I have two kids
and a woman up there.
And I'm not gonna
let them down.
Look, man, you ain't got a hope.
Well, maybe that's my bad luck,
but they need your help.
I need your help.
So you consider
yourself drafted.
Look, man, just
don't be calling me
none of that "deputy" bullshit,
all right?
Down by that control panel
is a tool chest.
I need a flashlight
and some duct tape.
It's Dad.
But how do we know it's him?
I know. I know.
Johnny?
It's him! It's him!
He always gets it wrong.
Are you coming...
back?
You bet.
Walk, pizza boy.
Nice and easy.
You want a piece of me, huh?
You want a piece of
me, motherfucker?
Uh-uh.
It's simple. Either you
keep walking, or you die.
Either way, you lose.
Now, let's walk...
boy.
Ever heard of this gang
called the Southside 49 Crips?
Yeah. I wipe my ass
with those motherfuckers.
Drop it.
Go on. Drop it.
Who's walking now, boy?
Go on, now.
Just drop it.
Get the gun, Jack!
Bitch!
Shit.
Here.
Raise your right hand.
What?
Your hand. Put it up.
Buddy...
you are deputised.
Boy, must have hurt
to lay this egg, huh?
What do you think?
This is very good.
Except where is the nest?
Your boyfriend said
that there was money.
We found the access panel.
We need you to tell us the code.
Now...
would you do that
for me? The code.
Would you do that for me?
Rudolph.
You're kidding. Reindeer?
Now, Santa's helper wouldn't
lie to me, would she?
Yo, man, this shit
is all coming clear to me.
This game is like do-or-die.
If you hesitate,
Jack, you lost, man.
See that motherfucker right there?
That was a big motherfucker.
I took him down!
Take some deep breaths.
I'm counting on you.
Right.
Man, fuck breathing now, man.
Come on, man.
I'm on a mission.
Let's do this shit. Yeah.
That's cool. That's cool.
So can I get this gun or that gun?
I like this mother--
This.
A watch? What the hell
am I gonna do with
a watch, Jack?
His ass tried to kill me.
This not gonna do shit!
Stay put.
You mean to tell me,
you're gonna go up there
and battle them nine
motherfuckers by yourself?
Seven.
Come on over here.
You see this lever?
This controls all the power.
All these pipes over here...
they go up to the street.
When you hear me rap...
pull that lever. Give me four
minutes of blackout, no more.
Four minutes? What your ass
gonna do in four minutes?
Anything more than four minutes,
and my kids will be out of air.
These vents, they need power.
Oh, wait, wait.
You going up there alone,
if something happen to you,
what I supposed to do?
Then you get my kids
and you take them off this block.
I'm counting on you.
I'm pretty sure you're
gonna manage.
Hey.
Just don't forget
how short four minutes is.
That shit ain't long.
These people think
they're living in a
fucking amusement park.
I can't find Botero, man.
He's fucking vanished.
Get everyone inside.
You've lied to me.
Kids!
Who's got kids up here?
Son of a bitch.
Holy shit.
It's Mister Ed.
Hey, come here.
Hey, come here. Shh!
Come on.
Come on, boy.
Check it out.
You know, a white horse
is good medicine, man.
Bye, horse.
This is-- This is funky.
Vinnie, cover the back.
Hey, fucker.
Come on.
Jack, Jack.
Spread out and find him.
Coug?
Damn.
Come on, Jack.
I know you're
gonna do it, baby.
I know you're gonna do it.
Where the fuck is everybody?
What the fuck is going on?
Oh, it's all about
some fucking bitch, huh?
All right. All right.
Get the fuck off me!
You ready?
Jack, come on. Jack.
Come on, Jack. I know you're gonna
do it. I know you're gonna do it.
This way, this way.
Here, take this.
Trust me.
Fuck.
I think it's like "Xanydu."
Jesus, man.
What the hell happened to Vinnie?
He shot him.
Fuck.
This is out of control.
Fuck control.
The party's over, Coug.
Let's just go. Let's just
get the fuck out of here, man.
Nobody's leaving this block.
Control?
Do you seriously think
that this place was
built with control?
I am gonna be rich!
Look at this place.
It's like a fucking disease!
Fuck them.
Tonight was our night!
Out of fucking control!
And he wanted to mess with it!
That fucking cowboy!
Let me tell you something.
No one's gonna
take this away from us.
Nobody is going to take
that away from me.
Do you hear me? Do you hear me?
Nobody's gonna do that!
Don't make me look bad.
Come on up here.
What do you say, huh?
For the marshal?
He did an amazing job.
This guy's a cop.
He's a fucking cop!
Time is up, man. Let's just go.
Let's just get out of here!
Hi, I'm Boot. This is Josh.
Our dad built this whole place.
Kids.
These are his fucking kids.
Where are your kids, mister? Hmm?
Stay down.
It's gonna be all right, Lilly.
We gonna be all right.
Jack! You're still in business.
Let's move.
Where do you keep
your family jewels?
I wanna get out of here!
No! No, we have to wait here.
Let's get out of here, Jack!
It's Dad!
You're such a clever little
mouse. You know all the holes.
"We're coming back."
"We're coming back."
We're gonna burn
in hell for this.
What comes after Dancer?
Prancer.
"You guys okay?"
Yes.
Yes!
Can you hear me?
Five-0 unit, nothing?
What is it?
I don't understand this.
There's something wrong here.
Dancer, Prancer...
Donner.
No. No, it's not Donner.
It's Donder.
I smell gas!
Something's going on
out there. Look at this.
The whole place is lit up.
She's right, sir.
D-O-N-D--
Are you sure about this?
Eight houses.
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight reindeer!
Get L.A.P.D. Report a code red.
Let's have some candy.
Okay. I guess you're
pretty sure of that.
I do everything myself!
What does that mean?
He's going for the safe rooms.
Oh, my God.
He's gonna get the kids.
Where's the candy?
Daddy.
Yes, yes.
Shh!
Move!
Come on!
Come on, Jack!
Come on!
The houses, they're gonna blow.
Come on!
Ho, ho, ho.
This is the L.A.P.D. Repeat--
What comes after Dasher?
Yeah, Blitzen.
This is the L.A.P.D.
When the cat's away...
the mice will play.
Run!
This is the L.A.P.D.,
chopper unit 3009.
Repeat. This is the L.A.P.D.
Cease and desist.
Repeat. This is the L.A.P.D.
Come on.
Hi, kids!
No, no. No!
Let go of me!
Let go! Let go!
Come on, get in.
We crashed
the wrong fucking party, babe.
No!
Oh, my God.
Daddy!
Kids.
Dad!
Daddy!
Oh, come here.
Come on, Jack! Come on!
Come on, get in the car.
Get in, come on.
Get down! Down!
Weathers, let me get the gun.
What?
Go on! Take the kids and run!
Go on!
Come on. Come on.
Dad! Dad!
The gun, it's in the suitcase!
Josh! Come on.
Come on!
You should have killed me.
You don't hit a guy when
he's down, is that it, cowboy?
What a night.
I don't remember this morning.
Except that I killed some cops.
I'm gonna kill you too.
So I can remember how that felt.
You know the deal.
Let's see how fast you are.
One...
two...
You got a loser's way about you.
three.
You missed.
How does it feel to be a
little slower than the other guy?
Shoot me.
Finish it.
Do it!
Night's over.
All is down,
and I am taking you in.
Now, let's move.
Let's go!
Two units at Third and Western.
You okay?
Yeah.
Step forward!
Dad!
Daddy!